016: Reasons to Worry

─Rodokiaus side─

I have a good relationship and trust with Kou…it’s probably not my fault that I feel like I can’t say that.

Why do you look like you’re crying…

Where are you looking…

Why do smile so fleetingly…

You don’t have to force yourself to smile.

If you’re sad, just say “sad (kanashi)”, and if you’re lonely, just say “lonely (sabishi)”.

Can’t I fill it?

Can’t you rely on me?

You say “all right”, but where is it all right with such a face?

Don’t worry, he says, but Kou’s stubbornly not willing to show his weakness.

I heard from the others that if they met him while crying, he’d ask them to keep it a secret from me.

He says he doesn’t want to worry me.

But I want to worry.

If Kou is crying, I want to hug him.

I want to get rid of Kou’s sadness.

And yet, he wouldn’t tell me what he’s thinking to make him look like he’s about to cry.

I don’t like to be told “I want to go home” and I didn’t want to ask if he wanted to see his parents.

If he was kidnapped and left there for some reason, it wouldn’t be strange if he missed his parents.

It’d be no wonder if he wanted to stay with his parents rather than marry me 20 years later.

Kou didn’t seem to know I’m his mate yet.

Even when I turned into my beast form, he didn’t seem to recognize the scent of a mate. Is it because Kou’s still a child?

However, I heard something shocking during this time.

Kou said that his lifespan was less than 100 years.

Kou now seemed to be 18 years old, and he only has 82 years left.

Not being able to live until the age of 100 meant that it’s shorter than that.

We can only spend such a short time together…

I’ve heard about what kind of end follows those who lost their mates.

They’d become almost dead as if their soul was missing.

And they’d debilitate and eventually die.

Will I have such a future in about 80 years?

“Ryodo, howme?”

“Yes. Home.”

I got distracted, but it’s better to move than to be cornered and run away.

I think I’ve become quite bearish since I met Kou.

I’ve never had someone whom I strongly didn’t want to be disliked.

I’m embarrassed because I misunderstood that if you whispered love to your mate, that love would always come back.

Kou hasn’t directed any romantic feelings towards me yet.

I was thinking of waiting until he turned 100 before proposing marriage, but hearing that he’d live for less than 100 years, I wonder what to do.

Even though I thought I should go at it slowly so that he would like me, they didn’t seem to have much time.

I really wanted to get married right now, but…I have to wait until Kou agrees.

…first of all, I want to know why he looked mournful.

I headed home with Kou in my arms,

I didn’t want to go to the barracks since it’s too early to eat.

Renneiga also left, saying that he’d return to the barracks.

When I stroked his head, Kou leaned against me.

He’s less vigilant of me, but…can I still not know everything about Kou yet?

────

──

When we got home, Kou’s no different than usual.

He’s studying to learn the letters and kept asking for the pronunciation.

Recently, he seemed to be studying movements and feelings rather than the names of things.

“Jump.”

“Juwampu.”

“List.”

“Listo.”

“Take.”

“Teki.”

When I said the word he wanted to know, Kou would repeat that word.

This happens every time, and it seems that this method of memorizing while pronouncing it made it easier to remember.

He’d also speak when he walks.

He’s talk about anything he can remember while walking so that he’d remember it better.

“Extend.”

“Ekstend.”

“Tired.”

“Tuwired.”

He’s lisping as usual.

For words such as “hot” and “cold”, Kou would draw a picture, then I would teach it.

Tastes such as “sweet” and “bitter” didn’t seem much different from mine.

Kou is often given sweets because of his appearance, but he never eats something that seemed to be “too sweet” after eating it once.

He’d sometimes mischievously put it in Renneiga’s mouth, but mostly left it untouched.

“…Ryodo? Tuwired?”

Looking at him, I’m surprised.

“Not tired.”

I shook my head and said so, but after thinking a bit, Kou put away his paper and books.

“Today, study, end?” (Are you ending your study today?)

He nodded when I said that.

How unusual, since until now, he’d been too absorbed.

It’s not strange to not even take a break.

After cleaning up, Kou approached me again.

After saying “marriage” or “mate”, the number of times Kou approached me has decreased.

…but what happened today?

Maybe he’s tired from using magic…doesn’t look like it.

“Kou?”

Kou looked at me for a while, then suddenly looked determined.

Did he decide to say something?

…what could it be?

“Ryodo. Kou, different. Mariekcho. Iri. Chibercho. Kichetoa. Rajead. Arikaren. Parents, Kou, birth…different.” (Rodo, Kou is different. My parents gave birth to me in a different place.)

“…”

I lost words at the unexpected report. This country is called Marihect, and as Kou said, it’s made up of six countries: Eli, Sievert, Kisetoa, Razead, and Alikaren.

But Kou is saying that he wasn’t born in any of those countries.

It’d be strange if I wasn’t surprised.

There’s no other country other than those six countries.

The six countries are on one continent and surrounded by the sea.

…I’ve never heard of a country beyond that sea…

No one liked to cross the sea because a violent sea animal would appear off the coast.

None of those who had been curious and headed to the sea have returned yet.

“Kou, ***, parents, birth.” (My parents gave birth to me in ***.)

“Nyuho?”

“***.”

“Niho*?”

*Just FYI, Japan is called Nihon or Nippon.

I can’t hear it well.

But how did Kou, who was born in this country called “Niho”, cross the sea and left alone on the hill by the spring?

It’s a place where monsters often appear, so I wouldn’t set foot there unless Sig wanted the grass.

Moreover, we’re quite far from the sea.

But Kou, who was barefoot and naked, was in that place where there were no traces of wheels or hooves, and might have been taken by someone?

“Sea, boat, Niho, Marihect, go?”

When I asked if he crossed the sea by boat from Niho to Marihect, Kou shook his head.

If it’s not by boat…did he move by magic…?

“Kou, room, suweeping. Woke up. Ryodo, there.”

…in other words, he was sleeping in his room, and when he woke up, he was in front of me?

If he was moved by someone, wouldn’t he notice it?

As expected, did he move by magic?

However, Kou seemed to be sleeping, so who on earth did it and for what?

I had heard that it’s difficult to move far away by magic.

If it’s magic applied to others, it’s even more difficult.

Considering Kou’s power, Kou’s parents probably had great power…

Still, they could possibly move him a little inland from the coast.

However, with such a distance from the sea, it’d be impossible to transfer him by magic.

And it’s even to a country so far inland, is that even possible?

Kou wrote something again.

He drew a circle, then drew a pattern in it that I had never seen.

(What is this…?)

Kou frantically drew for a while.

And when he finished, he pointed to a small pattern in it and said those words from earlier.

That seemed to be the country called “Niho” where he was born.

The pronunciation seemed a little different…

Is this a map?

I have never seen such a map.

…what does it mean?

“****.”

Kou pointed to the entire map and said something.

Is he saying that all the things in this circle are countries?

“Land, sea.”

He probably found out that I didn’t understand.

While pointing, he told me the land from the sea.

(Are there such countries all over the sea?)

“Marihect, where?”

When I asked where Marihect is, Kou shook his head.

(Did he not recognize Marihect…?)

I have no idea what that means.

“****.”

He traced the circle and said something again.

“Wearth?”

I wonder if I pronounced it wrong since he nodded after being confused a little.

He drew something again.

This time, he just drew some circles…what does it mean?

“Shan, ****, ****, ****, ***, ***, *******.”

He seemed to be naming things one by one.

But…the first thing he said was the sun.

And the fourth thing he said was that “wearth”.

(…I don’t know this.)

Does Kou have knowledge that I’ve never heard before?

“Sutar.”

“Star!?”

In other words, is “wearth” the name of a star?

Was Kou born in a country called Niho, Wearth?

Then…how did he arrive at Marihect?

He said, “I was moved here when I was sleeping”…

I don’t know how he came, but Kou isn’t from this world, but from that Wearth Star?

But…how did he become my mate!?

It’s not my misunderstanding.

I can certainly feel that my mind, body, and soul want Kou.

“…Ryodo, Kou, huwate? Chrow away?” (…Rodo, do you hate me? Are you going to throw me away?)

My head was about to turn white due to the unexpected discovery, but seeing Kou’s anxious face, I thought that it’s not the time to be confused.

I hugged Kou.

“Hate, no. Kou, likes.” (I don’t hate you. I like Kou.)

So what if he’s from a different world?

He’s still my mate.

“Kou, think, don’t know. Marihekcho, came, here, don’t know. …return, do, don’t know. …Ryodo, gudbye, do, together?” (I don’t know what to think. I don’t know how I came to Marihect. Or how to return. Nor when I’ll be separated from Rodo.)

It’s all over the place, but I could understand him easily.

He didn’t know how to return, he didn’t know why he came to Marihect, and that’s why he didn’t know if he’ll go back someday, and──

When I’ll break up with him?

After saying that, the tears that had gradually accumulated flowed.

(Is this the reason why you have a crying face all the time…)

If you don’t know when you’ll leave suddenly, it wouldn’t be strange to be anxious.

Would you feel even a little lonely at being away from me?

“Ryodo…Ryodo…”

Kou kept crying in my arms.

I never thought that I would lose Kou.

Even though him living a short life was shocking, the possibility that he’ll suddenly disappear one day…

It’s sad and regrettable that I can’t say “it’ll be all right” or “I will protect you”.

I don’t have the power to keep Kou, who didn’t know how he came here.

I only have the power of an Akinist that’s resistant to normal magic, but I can hardly use any magic.

If a magician with more power than Kou appears, I don’t think I can defeat them.

I can’t even use movement magic.

While hugging Kou who kept crying, I almost cried.

If I lose Kou, I’ll be a dead man walking.

And because I’m strong, I can’t even choose to die. It wouldn’t be strange if I went crazy.

I don’t want to lose the mate I just found.

(Why do something like this…)

Did I do something?

Why are all these trials given?

But can’t we just be happy?

Does it cost this much to get a mate, this irreplaceable existence?

But no matter what future awaits us, I want my mate, Kou.

“Kou, I like you. I love you.”

Even if Kou disappears tomorrow and my vitality is lost, this feeling will not change.

I embraced Kou who can’t stop crying and whispered my love.

I can only do this kind of thing.

“Kou, I really like you.”

Only that is the same no matter what.

─Rodokiaus side end─

016: Reasons to WorryRodokiaus sideI have a good relationship and trust with Kouit's probably not my fault that I feel like I can't say that.Why do you look like you're cryingWhere are you lookingWhy do smile so fleetinglyYou don't have to force yourself to smile.If you're sad, just say sad kanashi, and if you're lonely, just say lonely sabishi.Can't I fill it?Can't you rely on me?You say all right, but where is it all right with such a face?Don't worry, he says, but Kou's stubbornly not willing to show his weakness.I heard from the others that if they met him while crying, he'd ask them to keep it a secret from me.He says he doesn't want to worry me.But I want to worry.If Kou is crying, I want to hug him.I want to get rid of Kou's sadness.And yet, he wouldn't tell me what he's thinking to make him look like he's about to cry.I don't like to be told I want to go home and I didn't want to ask if he wanted to see his parents.If he was kidnapped and left there for some reason, it wouldn't be strange if he missed his parents.It'd be no wonder if he wanted to stay with his parents rather than marry me 20 years later.Kou didn't seem to know I'm his mate yet.Even when I turned into my beast form, he didn't seem to recognize the scent of a mate. Is it because Kou's still a child?However, I heard something shocking during this time.Kou said that his lifespan was less than 100 years.Kou now seemed to be 18 years old, and he only has 82 years left.Not being able to live until the age of 100 meant that it's shorter than that.We can only spend such a short time togetherI've heard about what kind of end follows those who lost their mates.They'd become almost dead as if their soul was missing.And they'd debilitate and eventually die.Will I have such a future in about 80 years?Ryodo, howme?Yes. Home.I got distracted, but it's better to move than to be cornered and run away.I think I've become quite bearish since I met Kou.I've never had someone whom I strongly didn't want to be disliked.I'm embarrassed because I misunderstood that if you whispered love to your mate, that love would always come back.Kou hasn't directed any romantic feelings towards me yet.I was thinking of waiting until he turned 100 before proposing marriage, but hearing that he'd live for less than 100 years, I wonder what to do.Even though I thought I should go at it slowly so that he would like me, they didn't seem to have much time.I really wanted to get married right now, butI have to wait until Kou agrees.first of all, I want to know why he looked mournful.I headed home with Kou in my arms,I didn't want to go to the barracks since it's too early to eat.Renneiga also left, saying that he'd return to the barracks.When I stroked his head, Kou leaned against me.He's less vigilant of me, butcan I still not know everything about Kou yet?When we got home, Kou's no different than usual.He's studying to learn the letters and kept asking for the pronunciation.Recently, he seemed to be studying movements and feelings rather than the names of things.Jump.Juwampu.List.Listo.Take.Teki.When I said the word he wanted to know, Kou would repeat that word.This happens every time, and it seems that this method of memorizing while pronouncing it made it easier to remember.He'd also speak when he walks.He's talk about anything he can remember while walking so that he'd remember it better.Extend.Ekstend.Tired.Tuwired.He's lisping as usual.For words such as hot and cold, Kou would draw a picture, then I would teach it.Tastes such as sweet and bitter didn't seem much different from mine.Kou is often given sweets because of his appearance, but he never eats something that seemed to be too sweet after eating it once.He'd sometimes mischievously put it in Renneiga's mouth, but mostly left it untouched.Ryodo? Tuwired?Looking at him, I'm surprised.Not tired.I shook my head and said so, but after thinking a bit, Kou put away his paper and books.Today, study, end? Are you ending your study today?He nodded when I said that.How unusual, since until now, he'd been too absorbed.It's not strange to not even take a break.After cleaning up, Kou approached me again.After saying marriage or mate, the number of times Kou approached me has decreased.but what happened today?Maybe he's tired from using magicdoesn't look like it.Kou?Kou looked at me for a while, then suddenly looked determined.Did he decide to say something?what could it be?Ryodo. Kou, different. Mariekcho. Iri. Chibercho. Kichetoa. Rajead. Arikaren. Parents, Kou, birthdifferent. Rodo, Kou is different. My parents gave birth to me in a different place.I lost words at the unexpected report. This country is called Marihect, and as Kou said, it's made up of six countries: Eli, Sievert, Kisetoa, Razead, and Alikaren.But Kou is saying that he wasn't born in any of those countries.It'd be strange if I wasn't surprised.There's no other country other than those six countries.The six countries are on one continent and surrounded by the sea.I've never heard of a country beyond that seaNo one liked to cross the sea because a violent sea animal would appear off the coast.None of those who had been curious and headed to the sea have returned yet.Kou, ***, parents, birth. My parents gave birth to me in ***.Nyuho?***.Niho*?*Just FYI, Japan is called Nihon or Nippon.I can't hear it well.But how did Kou, who was born in this country called Niho, cross the sea and left alone on the hill by the spring?It's a place where monsters often appear, so I wouldn't set foot there unless Sig wanted the grass.Moreover, we're quite far from the sea.But Kou, who was barefoot and naked, was in that place where there were no traces of wheels or hooves, and might have been taken by someone?Sea, boat, Niho, Marihect, go?When I asked if he crossed the sea by boat from Niho to Marihect, Kou shook his head.If it's not by boatdid he move by magic?Kou, room, suweeping. Woke up. Ryodo, there.in other words, he was sleeping in his room, and when he woke up, he was in front of me?If he was moved by someone, wouldn't he notice it?As expected, did he move by magic?However, Kou seemed to be sleeping, so who on earth did it and for what?I had heard that it's difficult to move far away by magic.If it's magic applied to others, it's even more difficult.Considering Kou's power, Kou's parents probably had great powerStill, they could possibly move him a little inland from the coast.However, with such a distance from the sea, it'd be impossible to transfer him by magic.And it's even to a country so far inland, is that even possible?Kou wrote something again.He drew a circle, then drew a pattern in it that I had never seen.What is this?Kou frantically drew for a while.And when he finished, he pointed to a small pattern in it and said those words from earlier.That seemed to be the country called Niho where he was born.The pronunciation seemed a little differentIs this a map?I have never seen such a map.what does it mean?****.Kou pointed to the entire map and said something.Is he saying that all the things in this circle are countries?Land, sea.He probably found out that I didn't understand.While pointing, he told me the land from the sea.Are there such countries all over the sea?Marihect, where?When I asked where Marihect is, Kou shook his head.Did he not recognize Marihect?I have no idea what that means.****.He traced the circle and said something again.Wearth?I wonder if I pronounced it wrong since he nodded after being confused a little.He drew something again.This time, he just drew some circleswhat does it mean?Shan, ****, ****, ****, ***, ***, *******.He seemed to be naming things one by one.Butthe first thing he said was the sun.And the fourth thing he said was that wearth.I don't know this.Does Kou have knowledge that I've never heard before?Sutar.Star!?In other words, is wearth the name of a star?Was Kou born in a country called Niho, Wearth?Thenhow did he arrive at Marihect?He said, I was moved here when I was sleepingI don't know how he came, but Kou isn't from this world, but from that Wearth Star?Buthow did he become my mate!?It's not my misunderstanding.I can certainly feel that my mind, body, and soul want Kou.Ryodo, Kou, huwate? Chrow away? Rodo, do you hate me? Are you going to throw me away?My head was about to turn white due to the unexpected discovery, but seeing Kou's anxious face, I thought that it's not the time to be confused.I hugged Kou.Hate, no. Kou, likes. I don't hate you. I like Kou.So what if he's from a different world?He's still my mate.Kou, think, don't know. Marihekcho, came, here, don't know. return, do, don't know. Ryodo, gudbye, do, together? I don't know what to think. I don't know how I came to Marihect. Or how to return. Nor when I'll be separated from Rodo.It's all over the place, but I could understand him easily.He didn't know how to return, he didn't know why he came to Marihect, and that's why he didn't know if he'll go back someday, andWhen I'll break up with him?After saying that, the tears that had gradually accumulated flowed.Is this the reason why you have a crying face all the timeIf you don't know when you'll leave suddenly, it wouldn't be strange to be anxious.Would you feel even a little lonely at being away from me?RyodoRyodoKou kept crying in my arms.I never thought that I would lose Kou.Even though him living a short life was shocking, the possibility that he'll suddenly disappear one dayIt's sad and regrettable that I can't say it'll be all right or I will protect you.I don't have the power to keep Kou, who didn't know how he came here.I only have the power of an Akinist that's resistant to normal magic, but I can hardly use any magic.If a magician with more power than Kou appears, I don't think I can defeat them.I can't even use movement magic.While hugging Kou who kept crying, I almost cried.If I lose Kou, I'll be a dead man walking.And because I'm strong, I can't even choose to die. It wouldn't be strange if I went crazy.I don't want to lose the mate I just found.Why do something like thisDid I do something?Why are all these trials given?But can't we just be happy?Does it cost this much to get a mate, this irreplaceable existence?But no matter what future awaits us, I want my mate, Kou.Kou, I like you. I love you.Even if Kou disappears tomorrow and my vitality is lost, this feeling will not change.I embraced Kou who can't stop crying and whispered my love.I can only do this kind of thing.Kou, I really like you.Only that is the same no matter what.Rodokiaus side end