Chapter 305: 305
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Eldrian took this in, however he did not realize how strange it was. "How bad was it?" Eldrian pressed.
Not caring about the fact that the system seemed to know about the fact that he sometimes managed to slow down time. Nor about the fact that Joren and the others had seemingly broken past the safety measures.
He just wanted to know how close he had been to paralyzing himself. Though he was unsure if he would change things even if that had been the outcome. Still, he feared how close he had been, and without knowing he would continually picture that he was on the edge.
"Past the point of return in general." The female voice said, giving off a perplexing feeling through her tone.
"Around 80% of your soul had dissipated. However, as I mentioned before, your case is special. It was not damaged, not destroyed. Rather it had dissipated. This meant that the lost parts still existed, and when you entered the game half of them had rushed back. With more following later on."
"Still that was past the considered safe level, not to mention that the avatar you inhabited was dead. Yet somehow you pushed it on, you had managed to keep it going."
"That was when I first knew that you would become a legend, and maybe even something more. In the case of legends, we AI still know how they accomplish their feats."
"Yours defied all common sense. You did not use magic in the general sense to avoid death, it had been purely your will." The system paused as it thought of this again, recalling the readings it had gotten back then.
In fact, Eldrian hadn't avoided death, his avatar had still died. However, he had somehow managed to let it acts for just a few seconds upon his return. This made little sense, especially considering the fact that he hadn't used any magic to heal his avatar.
"How... How was there no permanent damage then?" Eldrian asked, recalling the pain and condition he had been in after that. He also realized something key, he had never fully died in the game.
His soul had never gone through the process meant for players. This brought up the question of if he could die again.
"I do not know?" The system replied, but Eldrian did not even listen. He was now fully concerned about the new thought.
"System! Can I resurrect like normal players?"
A pause ensued, causing Eldrian to feel like his heart was in a vice grip. Finally, a reply came.
"I do not know. If your soul does what it should, going to the temple to be healed. Then there should be no problem. However, I do not know how your soul had fought my guidance the first time around."
"Your soul is also no longer considered normal, though I believe you understand this already."
Eldrian mind nodded, this was also something he had been wondering about.
"Still, if it does go to a temple I believe resurrection should be completely possible. The time it takes for you to resurrect might just be longer than for others.
Eldrian sighed in relief, as he understood this, he just needed to accept dying and resurrecting. Meaning he couldn't be fighting to stay in the fight, as that would likely cause problems.
This alined with what Joren had told him, and greatly relieved Eldrian. He had started to truly worry about the quest and even considering if he should abandon it.
With the most pressing concern explained, Eldrian felt much better. With that, he started to wonder about all the other things he had come to learn.
Mostly focusing on what was wrong/different about his soul, and the hidden meaning behind the new headset Joren had sent him back then.
While he would have been livid if they had not helped him enter the game, them doing so had placed his life at risk. Knowing this he realized he had to reevaluate what he thought of them.
While they were not doing anything illegal to him, that did not mean they had his best interests at heart.
I am still their subject, no matter how you paint it. I am a willing subject, but a subject nonetheless. Eldrian realized, They might not force me into things, but I am not in a safe situation. Things will come at me, and they will likely use that to get more and more information.
They likely only care for me as much as I show promise. While Gengxin always warns me to go slower and with more care, is it because he cares? Or is it because they need me functional? What is their ultimate goal, is it simply to understand how magic works. Or is it to bring it to earth?
Eldrian had never really considered this before, however, he started to realize he had to. What would the repercussions be? Would they continue to be an impartial company, are they even? I mean, how can they be with how advanced their research is?
Eldrian didn't like that he had to question them, however, he had to start and think of both his lives. He can't abandon ANW and Vivian in particular. He was also extremely curious and almost obsessed with trying to figure out magic.
However, he couldn't cause his family pain. He can't get himself paralyzed or even killed because of it. Yet how was he to balance this? It felt like appeasing the one left the other no room for existing.
He pondered this for a while, after which he started asking the system more general questions. Stating off with; if there was something wrong with his soul.
"Wrong?" The system echoed, "No, there is nothing wrong with you nor your soul. Something part of you can never be wrong."
The system almost sounded concerned when talking about this, as if it worried he would have a breakdown. Ignoring the concern, Eldrian tried to rephrase.
"Then, is it damaging to me?"
"It is not damaging, it is damaged. However for the most part it has healed quite well."
"But... Then, how did it look before I... Before it was damaged?"
"What do you consider a soul to be?" The system asked, bringing up a topic Eldrian had no answer to. He had pondered on this quite a bit, and most of the things he had read on souls were also indecisive.
"I don't know," Eldrian replied honestly, no matter what he consulted it all gave him a different answer to this question.
"In that case, your soul will then reflect your body, and what you consider is most important. It is actually quite funny, most humans, and all beings in fact, always think of their heart first. Never of their brain."
"It is almost as if it isn't considered an organ. No matter. That is why yours is now just a heart. The rest had all been lost, discarded. You subconsciously must believe that the heart was the core, that it was the most important."
Eldrian felt embarrassed hearing this, knowing from simple biology that this is not at all how it was. However he understood where this belief came from, and it was from when he mediated. Magic, for him, was all focused around his heart.
Mana came from it, flowed from it. Much like his blood, yet this an ethereal thing. However, this had at least answered his question to some extent.
Turning to look at the beating heart and pondering on the deeper meaning of it being his entire soul, Eldrian asked, "And what are these colorful lights surrounding it?"
"Auras. One of wrath and the other of tranquility."
"What are they, and from where do they come?" Eldrian asked next, looking at the two and easily understanding which was which.
"They come from you, and they are your core values."
"What?" Eldrian felt that this was in no way correct. He did not value either of these two emotions.
"They are what you gravitated to when you were overwhelmed by emotion. I do not know what truly happened with you, but it seems that somehow you managed to not be swallowed by wrath." The system replied, ignoring Eldrian's shock.
"This is quite rare, most people with a wrathful aura simply become Berserkers. Another hidden class, one which has quite the severe side effect."
Berserker? Is that what was happening to me? Eldrian wondered as he tried to recall what it had been back then. Most of it was muddled and he could only vaguely remember the emotions he had felt.
Right, I was starting to become lost in anger. To stop caring and just wanting to win. He recalled a thought that had been so shocking that it had helped him to think just a bit more clearly.
"Can you explain more about hidden classes?" Eldrian asked, now much more curious about what hidden classes actually were.
...
"How long is this he going to take?" Pelaros mumbled as he looked at Eldrian, who had been sitting at the same spot for over two hours now.
He hadn't even thought that this entire trip would take as much as an hour. Yet now Eldrian had been meditating on that same spot for over two.
"Sir," Katania greeted as she arrived, casting a curious look at Eldrian. She recalled that last time he had done that, he had been unconscious for days.
Mentioning this to Pelaros, he quickly became despondent. "We can't wait that long. They already know we are here, we need to act tonight."
"I agree, but what about this location then?" Katania asked, having already organized most of the things. She valued that Pelaros had given her the opportunity, Fanon never liked giving over control.
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Eldrian took this in, however he did not realize how strange it was. "How bad was it?" Eldrian pressed.
Not caring about the fact that the system seemed to know about the fact that he sometimes managed to slow down time. Nor about the fact that Joren and the others had seemingly broken past the safety measures.
He just wanted to know how close he had been to paralyzing himself. Though he was unsure if he would change things even if that had been the outcome. Still, he feared how close he had been, and without knowing he would continually picture that he was on the edge.
"Past the point of return in general." The female voice said, giving off a perplexing feeling through her tone.
"Around 80% of your soul had dissipated. However, as I mentioned before, your case is special. It was not damaged, not destroyed. Rather it had dissipated. This meant that the lost parts still existed, and when you entered the game half of them had rushed back. With more following later on."
"Still that was past the considered safe level, not to mention that the avatar you inhabited was dead. Yet somehow you pushed it on, you had managed to keep it going."
"That was when I first knew that you would become a legend, and maybe even something more. In the case of legends, we AI still know how they accomplish their feats."
"Yours defied all common sense. You did not use magic in the general sense to avoid death, it had been purely your will." The system paused as it thought of this again, recalling the readings it had gotten back then.
In fact, Eldrian hadn't avoided death, his avatar had still died. However, he had somehow managed to let it acts for just a few seconds upon his return. This made little sense, especially considering the fact that he hadn't used any magic to heal his avatar.
"How... How was there no permanent damage then?" Eldrian asked, recalling the pain and condition he had been in after that. He also realized something key, he had never fully died in the game.
His soul had never gone through the process meant for players. This brought up the question of if he could die again.
"I do not know?" The system replied, but Eldrian did not even listen. He was now fully concerned about the new thought.
"System! Can I resurrect like normal players?"
A pause ensued, causing Eldrian to feel like his heart was in a vice grip. Finally, a reply came.
"I do not know. If your soul does what it should, going to the temple to be healed. Then there should be no problem. However, I do not know how your soul had fought my guidance the first time around."
"Your soul is also no longer considered normal, though I believe you understand this already."
Eldrian mind nodded, this was also something he had been wondering about.
"Still, if it does go to a temple I believe resurrection should be completely possible. The time it takes for you to resurrect might just be longer than for others.
Eldrian sighed in relief, as he understood this, he just needed to accept dying and resurrecting. Meaning he couldn't be fighting to stay in the fight, as that would likely cause problems.
This alined with what Joren had told him, and greatly relieved Eldrian. He had started to truly worry about the quest and even considering if he should abandon it.
With the most pressing concern explained, Eldrian felt much better. With that, he started to wonder about all the other things he had come to learn.
Mostly focusing on what was wrong/different about his soul, and the hidden meaning behind the new headset Joren had sent him back then.
While he would have been livid if they had not helped him enter the game, them doing so had placed his life at risk. Knowing this he realized he had to reevaluate what he thought of them.
While they were not doing anything illegal to him, that did not mean they had his best interests at heart.
I am still their subject, no matter how you paint it. I am a willing subject, but a subject nonetheless. Eldrian realized, They might not force me into things, but I am not in a safe situation. Things will come at me, and they will likely use that to get more and more information.
They likely only care for me as much as I show promise. While Gengxin always warns me to go slower and with more care, is it because he cares? Or is it because they need me functional? What is their ultimate goal, is it simply to understand how magic works. Or is it to bring it to earth?
Eldrian had never really considered this before, however, he started to realize he had to. What would the repercussions be? Would they continue to be an impartial company, are they even? I mean, how can they be with how advanced their research is?
Eldrian didn't like that he had to question them, however, he had to start and think of both his lives. He can't abandon ANW and Vivian in particular. He was also extremely curious and almost obsessed with trying to figure out magic.
However, he couldn't cause his family pain. He can't get himself paralyzed or even killed because of it. Yet how was he to balance this? It felt like appeasing the one left the other no room for existing.
He pondered this for a while, after which he started asking the system more general questions. Stating off with; if there was something wrong with his soul.
"Wrong?" The system echoed, "No, there is nothing wrong with you nor your soul. Something part of you can never be wrong."
The system almost sounded concerned when talking about this, as if it worried he would have a breakdown. Ignoring the concern, Eldrian tried to rephrase.
"Then, is it damaging to me?"
"It is not damaging, it is damaged. However for the most part it has healed quite well."
"But... Then, how did it look before I... Before it was damaged?"
"What do you consider a soul to be?" The system asked, bringing up a topic Eldrian had no answer to. He had pondered on this quite a bit, and most of the things he had read on souls were also indecisive.
"I don't know," Eldrian replied honestly, no matter what he consulted it all gave him a different answer to this question.
"In that case, your soul will then reflect your body, and what you consider is most important. It is actually quite funny, most humans, and all beings in fact, always think of their heart first. Never of their brain."
"It is almost as if it isn't considered an organ. No matter. That is why yours is now just a heart. The rest had all been lost, discarded. You subconsciously must believe that the heart was the core, that it was the most important."
Eldrian felt embarrassed hearing this, knowing from simple biology that this is not at all how it was. However he understood where this belief came from, and it was from when he mediated. Magic, for him, was all focused around his heart.
Mana came from it, flowed from it. Much like his blood, yet this an ethereal thing. However, this had at least answered his question to some extent.
Turning to look at the beating heart and pondering on the deeper meaning of it being his entire soul, Eldrian asked, "And what are these colorful lights surrounding it?"
"Auras. One of wrath and the other of tranquility."
"What are they, and from where do they come?" Eldrian asked next, looking at the two and easily understanding which was which.
"They come from you, and they are your core values."
"What?" Eldrian felt that this was in no way correct. He did not value either of these two emotions.
"They are what you gravitated to when you were overwhelmed by emotion. I do not know what truly happened with you, but it seems that somehow you managed to not be swallowed by wrath." The system replied, ignoring Eldrian's shock.
"This is quite rare, most people with a wrathful aura simply become Berserkers. Another hidden class, one which has quite the severe side effect."
Berserker? Is that what was happening to me? Eldrian wondered as he tried to recall what it had been back then. Most of it was muddled and he could only vaguely remember the emotions he had felt.
Right, I was starting to become lost in anger. To stop caring and just wanting to win. He recalled a thought that had been so shocking that it had helped him to think just a bit more clearly.
"Can you explain more about hidden classes?" Eldrian asked, now much more curious about what hidden classes actually were.
...
"How long is this he going to take?" Pelaros mumbled as he looked at Eldrian, who had been sitting at the same spot for over two hours now.
He hadn't even thought that this entire trip would take as much as an hour. Yet now Eldrian had been meditating on that same spot for over two.
"Sir," Katania greeted as she arrived, casting a curious look at Eldrian. She recalled that last time he had done that, he had been unconscious for days.
Mentioning this to Pelaros, he quickly became despondent. "We can't wait that long. They already know we are here, we need to act tonight."
"I agree, but what about this location then?" Katania asked, having already organized most of the things. She valued that Pelaros had given her the opportunity, Fanon never liked giving over control.
Eldrian took this in, however he did not realize how strange it was. "How bad was it?" Eldrian pressed.Not caring about the fact that the system seemed to know about the fact that he sometimes managed to slow down time. Nor about the fact that Joren and the others had seemingly broken past the safety measures. He just wanted to know how close he had been to paralyzing himself. Though he was unsure if he would change things even if that had been the outcome. Still, he feared how close he had been, and without knowing he would continually picture that he was on the edge."Past the point of return in general." The female voice said, giving off a perplexing feeling through her tone."Around 80% of your soul had dissipated. However, as I mentioned before, your case is special. It was not damaged, not destroyed. Rather it had dissipated. This meant that the lost parts still existed, and when you entered the game half of them had rushed back. With more following later on.""Still that was past the considered safe level, not to mention that the avatar you inhabited was dead. Yet somehow you pushed it on, you had managed to keep it going.""That was when I first knew that you would become a legend, and maybe even something more. In the case of legends, we AI still know how they accomplish their feats.""Yours defied all common sense. You did not use magic in the general sense to avoid death, it had been purely your will." The system paused as it thought of this again, recalling the readings it had gotten back then. In fact, Eldrian hadn't avoided death, his avatar had still died. However, he had somehow managed to let it acts for just a few seconds upon his return. This made little sense, especially considering the fact that he hadn't used any magic to heal his avatar."How... How was there no permanent damage then?" Eldrian asked, recalling the pain and condition he had been in after that. He also realized something key, he had never fully died in the game. His soul had never gone through the process meant for players. This brought up the question of if he could die again. "I do not know?" The system replied, but Eldrian did not even listen. He was now fully concerned about the new thought."System! Can I resurrect like normal players?" A pause ensued, causing Eldrian to feel like his heart was in a vice grip. Finally, a reply came."I do not know. If your soul does what it should, going to the temple to be healed. Then there should be no problem. However, I do not know how your soul had fought my guidance the first time around.""Your soul is also no longer considered normal, though I believe you understand this already."Eldrian mind nodded, this was also something he had been wondering about. "Still, if it does go to a temple I believe resurrection should be completely possible. The time it takes for you to resurrect might just be longer than for others.Eldrian sighed in relief, as he understood this, he just needed to accept dying and resurrecting. Meaning he couldn't be fighting to stay in the fight, as that would likely cause problems. This alined with what Joren had told him, and greatly relieved Eldrian. He had started to truly worry about the quest and even considering if he should abandon it. With the most pressing concern explained, Eldrian felt much better. With that, he started to wonder about all the other things he had come to learn. Mostly focusing on what was wrong/different about his soul, and the hidden meaning behind the new headset Joren had sent him back then. While he would have been livid if they had not helped him enter the game, them doing so had placed his life at risk. Knowing this he realized he had to reevaluate what he thought of them. While they were not doing anything illegal to him, that did not mean they had his best interests at heart. I am still their subject, no matter how you paint it. I am a willing subject, but a subject nonetheless. Eldrian realized, They might not force me into things, but I am not in a safe situation. Things will come at me, and they will likely use that to get more and more information. They likely only care for me as much as I show promise. While Gengxin always warns me to go slower and with more care, is it because he cares? Or is it because they need me functional? What is their ultimate goal, is it simply to understand how magic works. Or is it to bring it to earth? Eldrian had never really considered this before, however, he started to realize he had to. What would the repercussions be? Would they continue to be an impartial company, are they even? I mean, how can they be with how advanced their research is?Eldrian didn't like that he had to question them, however, he had to start and think of both his lives. He can't abandon ANW and Vivian in particular. He was also extremely curious and almost obsessed with trying to figure out magic.However, he couldn't cause his family pain. He can't get himself paralyzed or even killed because of it. Yet how was he to balance this? It felt like appeasing the one left the other no room for existing. He pondered this for a while, after which he started asking the system more general questions. Stating off with; if there was something wrong with his soul. "Wrong?" The system echoed, "No, there is nothing wrong with you nor your soul. Something part of you can never be wrong."The system almost sounded concerned when talking about this, as if it worried he would have a breakdown. Ignoring the concern, Eldrian tried to rephrase. "Then, is it damaging to me?""It is not damaging, it is damaged. However for the most part it has healed quite well.""But... Then, how did it look before I... Before it was damaged?""What do you consider a soul to be?" The system asked, bringing up a topic Eldrian had no answer to. He had pondered on this quite a bit, and most of the things he had read on souls were also indecisive. "I don't know," Eldrian replied honestly, no matter what he consulted it all gave him a different answer to this question. "In that case, your soul will then reflect your body, and what you consider is most important. It is actually quite funny, most humans, and all beings in fact, always think of their heart first. Never of their brain.""It is almost as if it isn't considered an organ. No matter. That is why yours is now just a heart. The rest had all been lost, discarded. You subconsciously must believe that the heart was the core, that it was the most important."Eldrian felt embarrassed hearing this, knowing from simple biology that this is not at all how it was. However he understood where this belief came from, and it was from when he mediated. Magic, for him, was all focused around his heart.Mana came from it, flowed from it. Much like his blood, yet this an ethereal thing. However, this had at least answered his question to some extent. Turning to look at the beating heart and pondering on the deeper meaning of it being his entire soul, Eldrian asked, "And what are these colorful lights surrounding it?""Auras. One of wrath and the other of tranquility.""What are they, and from where do they come?" Eldrian asked next, looking at the two and easily understanding which was which. "They come from you, and they are your core values.""What?" Eldrian felt that this was in no way correct. He did not value either of these two emotions."They are what you gravitated to when you were overwhelmed by emotion. I do not know what truly happened with you, but it seems that somehow you managed to not be swallowed by wrath." The system replied, ignoring Eldrian's shock."This is quite rare, most people with a wrathful aura simply become Berserkers. Another hidden class, one which has quite the severe side effect."Berserker? Is that what was happening to me? Eldrian wondered as he tried to recall what it had been back then. Most of it was muddled and he could only vaguely remember the emotions he had felt. Right, I was starting to become lost in anger. To stop caring and just wanting to win. He recalled a thought that had been so shocking that it had helped him to think just a bit more clearly. "Can you explain more about hidden classes?" Eldrian asked, now much more curious about what hidden classes actually were. ..."How long is this he going to take?" Pelaros mumbled as he looked at Eldrian, who had been sitting at the same spot for over two hours now.He hadn't even thought that this entire trip would take as much as an hour. Yet now Eldrian had been meditating on that same spot for over two. "Sir," Katania greeted as she arrived, casting a curious look at Eldrian. She recalled that last time he had done that, he had been unconscious for days. Mentioning this to Pelaros, he quickly became despondent. "We can't wait that long. They already know we are here, we need to act tonight.""I agree, but what about this location then?" Katania asked, having already organized most of the things. She valued that Pelaros had given her the opportunity, Fanon never liked giving over control.
