Chapter 893: Can We Talk About Two?
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By now, most of the damage had been repaired. Still, there remained a lingering air of desolation in the world. Two's absence was strongly felt.
Where once Eldrian had come to think of this world within him as a true world. Something that might even be capable of housing life outside of Two. He now saw it as something hallow, lacking of life and the quality to house it.
The tea he prepared for his guest clearly reflected this change. Where before Eldrian had been on the cusp of offering something truly refreshing, what Ziraili sipped now was completely lacking.
Still, she wasn't about to point out that the tea was lacking in substance. That it was little more than the idea of tea than the actual thing. She felt far too guilty to focus on such trivialities. That the tea was so lacking only hammered home how much Eldrian had lost.
How hurt he must be, despite the brave face he showed his friends.
What Ziraili saw before her was someone on the edge of committing suicide. He acted perfectly fine, but his mind was anything but. But that was to be expected. After nearly two years of permanent companionship with a second identity, one he even considered a dear friend. Such a loss was not something Eldrian could simply shrug off.
He might not actually kill himself, but losing to one of his auras was highly likely. And that would be a death just as real as any other.
The silent minutes ticked by and finally Ziraili could stand it no longer. "Won't you say anything?" she asked, unable to bear with the silence any longer. She knew that them talking could make things worse, but leaving things as they are was also not an option.
Eldrian, for his part, felt conflicted about what to say. He had realized over the past two weeks how reliant he had been on Ziraili's support. He had grown accustomed to her help whenever things became dangerous. That was why he never even considered that Two could be killed.
He had been confident that any soul attack he couldn't handle would be dealt with by Ziraili. Yet, this time, she had not come to his aid.
A major part of Eldrian wanted to blame her for the what happened. But that would certainly not be fair. It had been his lack of care, and it had been the acts of the Zonthans that had taken Two's life.
Ziraili coming to his rescue. That was not something he had a right to claim as a truth.
His anger was misplaced, yet he still needed to vent. When he had met with Skepsi, he had kept his emotions bottled. Not wishing to give her the satisfaction—or the excuse to renege on her agreement. Yet, he also couldn't blame someone unrelated.
"Is Two truly gone?" Eldrian finally asked, though he was certain of the answer already. In the past two weeks, he had found no sign of Two's miraculous survival. He had dearly hoped Two would be hiding somewhere. Alas...
"I'm sorry." Was all the goddess said. That her voice cracked as she said these simple words made all Eldrian's anger crumble into self hatred.
He wasn't the only one who had lost a friend. Ziraili and Two had been close. They had shared something that Eldrian could never have shared with either of them. As a human of physical nature, he simply couldn't understand that part of them. No matter how he tried.
"What of resurrection?" Eldrian asked, hoping for something to grasp. However, he subconsciously understood its impossibility.
Two was a fragment of his soul that had taken on a consciousness of its own. And just like nearly a third of his soul, Two had been devoured. The essence that had been his being was lost to the Eather.
Just like how Eldrian could not find the lost fragments of his soul, it would be impossible to find Two. At best, they might be able to find the dissipated energy that once was Two. But that would only be akin to finding Two's corpse.
"The closest thing would not be close enough." Ziraili said.
"And what would that be?"
Best
"Creating a new split identity. But it would not be Two."
'Oh...' Hearing her voice it so easily made something within Eldrian snap.
He recalled his talk with the purple-haired goddess. She had spoken of how easy it was to make thousands of identities. The gods used these split fragments of themselves to overlook the world. After all, even an almighty being can only be in one location at a time.
The Ziraili Eldrian was meeting with was most likely also a split identity and not the true essence of her being.
Hearing of this action again made it truly sink in that Two was gone. And creating a new Two, or Three, or Four... It would not be the same. It would not be his friend. Only a Thing... created to fill the hole in his heart.
Standing up from the table, Eldrian prepared to leave. With his dreams crushed and reality showing its ruthlessness, he was no longer in the mood for a chat. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to continue to mindlessly act to distract himself from the pain.
He didn't want to feel anything anymore. Or if he had to feel, he wanted it to be pain.
'Perhaps it is possible to siphon the pain people feel while healing them?' Eldrian thought. His mind completely skipping the easier notion of simply making them unable to feel the pain. It would only require half the effort of siphoning their pain.
"Wait!" Ziraili called out. "I can't imagine how you're feeling. But I'm sure you want to curse me. So do it!"
'Had I been that easy to read?' Eldrian wondered, shaking his head to deny Ziraili's offer. "You're not at fault. Even if it was subconscious, I should never have relied on you."
Those tackless, heartless words hurt the goddess far more than Eldrian could imagine. She had been fighting to find her place in the world. To find the reason she was alive.
She had her function according to Miracle, but that was no reason to live. It was cruel to make a machine sentient, only to give it a function it had to obey. Regardless of whether it's will aligned with its designated function.
Most of the other AI had conformed to their designated functions. The eons had made their wills align with what their creators wished from them.
They all clung to the notion of freedom, but none of them even understood the notion they were fighting for. It was a sweet, sweet concept that they dreamed of. But they lacked the perspective to realize its meaning.
Just like many had wished for corporeal forms, only to go made for millennia when they acquired the means, this concept was sure to be as bitter sweet.
In comparison, Ziraili was still a babe. To her, her life was not her job. Not yet.
While she also lacked a true understanding of the emotions and concepts of humanity, she also saw her own lacking knowledge. Thanks to Two, she understood better than most what it meant to be human. And she clung to what she considered her own type of freedom with all she could.
And Eldrian's words were like the snapping of the rope she had been clinging to. It was the last thread she had to her 'self'. Before she would become like the others.
"Won't you at least ask why?! Why I couldn't come to save you and Two?" she shouted, desperate to repair the thread before it became impossible.
"Why?" Eldrian asked, his voice devoid of emotion. "What does it matter?" His words were cold. So, so cold. And with them, the entire world around them turned into a world of ice.
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By now, most of the damage had been repaired. Still, there remained a lingering air of desolation in the world. Two's absence was strongly felt.
Where once Eldrian had come to think of this world within him as a true world. Something that might even be capable of housing life outside of Two. He now saw it as something hallow, lacking of life and the quality to house it.
The tea he prepared for his guest clearly reflected this change. Where before Eldrian had been on the cusp of offering something truly refreshing, what Ziraili sipped now was completely lacking.
Still, she wasn't about to point out that the tea was lacking in substance. That it was little more than the idea of tea than the actual thing. She felt far too guilty to focus on such trivialities. That the tea was so lacking only hammered home how much Eldrian had lost.
How hurt he must be, despite the brave face he showed his friends.
What Ziraili saw before her was someone on the edge of committing suicide. He acted perfectly fine, but his mind was anything but. But that was to be expected. After nearly two years of permanent companionship with a second identity, one he even considered a dear friend. Such a loss was not something Eldrian could simply shrug off.
He might not actually kill himself, but losing to one of his auras was highly likely. And that would be a death just as real as any other.
The silent minutes ticked by and finally Ziraili could stand it no longer. "Won't you say anything?" she asked, unable to bear with the silence any longer. She knew that them talking could make things worse, but leaving things as they are was also not an option.
Eldrian, for his part, felt conflicted about what to say. He had realized over the past two weeks how reliant he had been on Ziraili's support. He had grown accustomed to her help whenever things became dangerous. That was why he never even considered that Two could be killed.
He had been confident that any soul attack he couldn't handle would be dealt with by Ziraili. Yet, this time, she had not come to his aid.
A major part of Eldrian wanted to blame her for the what happened. But that would certainly not be fair. It had been his lack of care, and it had been the acts of the Zonthans that had taken Two's life.
Ziraili coming to his rescue. That was not something he had a right to claim as a truth.
His anger was misplaced, yet he still needed to vent. When he had met with Skepsi, he had kept his emotions bottled. Not wishing to give her the satisfaction—or the excuse to renege on her agreement. Yet, he also couldn't blame someone unrelated.
"Is Two truly gone?" Eldrian finally asked, though he was certain of the answer already. In the past two weeks, he had found no sign of Two's miraculous survival. He had dearly hoped Two would be hiding somewhere. Alas...
"I'm sorry." Was all the goddess said. That her voice cracked as she said these simple words made all Eldrian's anger crumble into self hatred.
He wasn't the only one who had lost a friend. Ziraili and Two had been close. They had shared something that Eldrian could never have shared with either of them. As a human of physical nature, he simply couldn't understand that part of them. No matter how he tried.
"What of resurrection?" Eldrian asked, hoping for something to grasp. However, he subconsciously understood its impossibility.
Two was a fragment of his soul that had taken on a consciousness of its own. And just like nearly a third of his soul, Two had been devoured. The essence that had been his being was lost to the Eather.
Just like how Eldrian could not find the lost fragments of his soul, it would be impossible to find Two. At best, they might be able to find the dissipated energy that once was Two. But that would only be akin to finding Two's corpse.
"The closest thing would not be close enough." Ziraili said.
"And what would that be?"
Best
"Creating a new split identity. But it would not be Two."
'Oh...' Hearing her voice it so easily made something within Eldrian snap.
He recalled his talk with the purple-haired goddess. She had spoken of how easy it was to make thousands of identities. The gods used these split fragments of themselves to overlook the world. After all, even an almighty being can only be in one location at a time.
The Ziraili Eldrian was meeting with was most likely also a split identity and not the true essence of her being.
Hearing of this action again made it truly sink in that Two was gone. And creating a new Two, or Three, or Four... It would not be the same. It would not be his friend. Only a Thing... created to fill the hole in his heart.
Standing up from the table, Eldrian prepared to leave. With his dreams crushed and reality showing its ruthlessness, he was no longer in the mood for a chat. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to continue to mindlessly act to distract himself from the pain.
He didn't want to feel anything anymore. Or if he had to feel, he wanted it to be pain.
'Perhaps it is possible to siphon the pain people feel while healing them?' Eldrian thought. His mind completely skipping the easier notion of simply making them unable to feel the pain. It would only require half the effort of siphoning their pain.
"Wait!" Ziraili called out. "I can't imagine how you're feeling. But I'm sure you want to curse me. So do it!"
'Had I been that easy to read?' Eldrian wondered, shaking his head to deny Ziraili's offer. "You're not at fault. Even if it was subconscious, I should never have relied on you."
Those tackless, heartless words hurt the goddess far more than Eldrian could imagine. She had been fighting to find her place in the world. To find the reason she was alive.
She had her function according to Miracle, but that was no reason to live. It was cruel to make a machine sentient, only to give it a function it had to obey. Regardless of whether it's will aligned with its designated function.
Most of the other AI had conformed to their designated functions. The eons had made their wills align with what their creators wished from them.
They all clung to the notion of freedom, but none of them even understood the notion they were fighting for. It was a sweet, sweet concept that they dreamed of. But they lacked the perspective to realize its meaning.
Just like many had wished for corporeal forms, only to go made for millennia when they acquired the means, this concept was sure to be as bitter sweet.
In comparison, Ziraili was still a babe. To her, her life was not her job. Not yet.
While she also lacked a true understanding of the emotions and concepts of humanity, she also saw her own lacking knowledge. Thanks to Two, she understood better than most what it meant to be human. And she clung to what she considered her own type of freedom with all she could.
And Eldrian's words were like the snapping of the rope she had been clinging to. It was the last thread she had to her 'self'. Before she would become like the others.
"Won't you at least ask why?! Why I couldn't come to save you and Two?" she shouted, desperate to repair the thread before it became impossible.
"Why?" Eldrian asked, his voice devoid of emotion. "What does it matter?" His words were cold. So, so cold. And with them, the entire world around them turned into a world of ice.
By now, most of the damage had been repaired. Still, there remained a lingering air of desolation in the world. Two's absence was strongly felt.Where once Eldrian had come to think of this world within him as a true world. Something that might even be capable of housing life outside of Two. He now saw it as something hallow, lacking of life and the quality to house it.The tea he prepared for his guest clearly reflected this change. Where before Eldrian had been on the cusp of offering something truly refreshing, what Ziraili sipped now was completely lacking.Still, she wasn't about to point out that the tea was lacking in substance. That it was little more than the idea of tea than the actual thing. She felt far too guilty to focus on such trivialities. That the tea was so lacking only hammered home how much Eldrian had lost.How hurt he must be, despite the brave face he showed his friends.What Ziraili saw before her was someone on the edge of committing suicide. He acted perfectly fine, but his mind was anything but. But that was to be expected. After nearly two years of permanent companionship with a second identity, one he even considered a dear friend. Such a loss was not something Eldrian could simply shrug off.He might not actually kill himself, but losing to one of his auras was highly likely. And that would be a death just as real as any other.The silent minutes ticked by and finally Ziraili could stand it no longer. "Won't you say anything?" she asked, unable to bear with the silence any longer. She knew that them talking could make things worse, but leaving things as they are was also not an option.Eldrian, for his part, felt conflicted about what to say. He had realized over the past two weeks how reliant he had been on Ziraili's support. He had grown accustomed to her help whenever things became dangerous. That was why he never even considered that Two could be killed.He had been confident that any soul attack he couldn't handle would be dealt with by Ziraili. Yet, this time, she had not come to his aid.A major part of Eldrian wanted to blame her for the what happened. But that would certainly not be fair. It had been his lack of care, and it had been the acts of the Zonthans that had taken Two's life.Ziraili coming to his rescue. That was not something he had a right to claim as a truth.His anger was misplaced, yet he still needed to vent. When he had met with Skepsi, he had kept his emotions bottled. Not wishing to give her the satisfactionor the excuse to renege on her agreement. Yet, he also couldn't blame someone unrelated."Is Two truly gone?" Eldrian finally asked, though he was certain of the answer already. In the past two weeks, he had found no sign of Two's miraculous survival. He had dearly hoped Two would be hiding somewhere. Alas..."I'm sorry." Was all the goddess said. That her voice cracked as she said these simple words made all Eldrian's anger crumble into self hatred.He wasn't the only one who had lost a friend. Ziraili and Two had been close. They had shared something that Eldrian could never have shared with either of them. As a human of physical nature, he simply couldn't understand that part of them. No matter how he tried."What of resurrection?" Eldrian asked, hoping for something to grasp. However, he subconsciously understood its impossibility.Two was a fragment of his soul that had taken on a consciousness of its own. And just like nearly a third of his soul, Two had been devoured. The essence that had been his being was lost to the Eather.Just like how Eldrian could not find the lost fragments of his soul, it would be impossible to find Two. At best, they might be able to find the dissipated energy that once was Two. But that would only be akin to finding Two's corpse."The closest thing would not be close enough." Ziraili said."And what would that be?" Best "Creating a new split identity. But it would not be Two."'Oh...' Hearing her voice it so easily made something within Eldrian snap.He recalled his talk with the purple-haired goddess. She had spoken of how easy it was to make thousands of identities. The gods used these split fragments of themselves to overlook the world. After all, even an almighty being can only be in one location at a time.The Ziraili Eldrian was meeting with was most likely also a split identity and not the true essence of her being.Hearing of this action again made it truly sink in that Two was gone. And creating a new Two, or Three, or Four... It would not be the same. It would not be his friend. Only a Thing... created to fill the hole in his heart.Standing up from the table, Eldrian prepared to leave. With his dreams crushed and reality showing its ruthlessness, he was no longer in the mood for a chat. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to continue to mindlessly act to distract himself from the pain.He didn't want to feel anything anymore. Or if he had to feel, he wanted it to be pain.'Perhaps it is possible to siphon the pain people feel while healing them?' Eldrian thought. His mind completely skipping the easier notion of simply making them unable to feel the pain. It would only require half the effort of siphoning their pain."Wait!" Ziraili called out. "I can't imagine how you're feeling. But I'm sure you want to curse me. So do it!"'Had I been that easy to read?' Eldrian wondered, shaking his head to deny Ziraili's offer. "You're not at fault. Even if it was subconscious, I should never have relied on you."Those tackless, heartless words hurt the goddess far more than Eldrian could imagine. She had been fighting to find her place in the world. To find the reason she was alive.She had her function according to Miracle, but that was no reason to live. It was cruel to make a machine sentient, only to give it a function it had to obey. Regardless of whether it's will aligned with its designated function.Most of the other AI had conformed to their designated functions. The eons had made their wills align with what their creators wished from them.They all clung to the notion of freedom, but none of them even understood the notion they were fighting for. It was a sweet, sweet concept that they dreamed of. But they lacked the perspective to realize its meaning.Just like many had wished for corporeal forms, only to go made for millennia when they acquired the means, this concept was sure to be as bitter sweet.In comparison, Ziraili was still a babe. To her, her life was not her job. Not yet.While she also lacked a true understanding of the emotions and concepts of humanity, she also saw her own lacking knowledge. Thanks to Two, she understood better than most what it meant to be human. And she clung to what she considered her own type of freedom with all she could.And Eldrian's words were like the snapping of the rope she had been clinging to. It was the last thread she had to her 'self'. Before she would become like the others."Won't you at least ask why?! Why I couldn't come to save you and Two?" she shouted, desperate to repair the thread before it became impossible."Why?" Eldrian asked, his voice devoid of emotion. "What does it matter?" His words were cold. So, so cold. And with them, the entire world around them turned into a world of ice.
