Chapter 114: Love But No Future
•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•
I fell asleep like a wave and woke up like a baby in Alan’s big arms.
The light of dawn shone through the curtains. Dawn is coming soon, and before that, I must let my lover go. Outside waiting for him.
As I was immersed in those thoughts, Alan muttered as he buried his head in the nape of my neck, perhaps recognizing that I had woken up with an irregular breathing sound. His voice sounded sleepy.
“……I want to live here, forever.” (Alan)
Even though I was astonished inside because I didn’t know he was awake, I whispered softly as I stroked Alan’s strong arm that covered my chest.
“Is the principality good? You can just live here…….”
Wherever he is, I wish I could be with him.
But his gentle answer hardened me.
“No, inside you.”
“…….”
“Like now.”
“…….”
……I can’t believe I’m having this vulgar conversation with Alan Leopold.
I’m surprised he was a man who could say this, but we really…… I can’t believe we’re lovers.
It’s more like a novel than a novel.
(T/N: it’s like their story is more novel-like than the actual novel)
As Melissa Collins still lives today, even in my previous life, my birthday was one of the insignificant things I had.
But I received Alan Leopold as a gift on my birthday….…. Can I think of it as a celebration that I’ve never received before?
But it’s still too much for me…….
He insinuated me with this stupid idea.
“……Melissa.”
Alan said as I secretly wrinkled my nose because the breath on my shoulder tickled like a feather.
“It’s boring to stay here.”
“…….”
“I know you won’t like it.”
He hugged me a little tighter. whispering like a sigh.
“I know, but I can’t let you go. I’m sorry.”
“Alan.”
“I’m scared. Of you running away from me.”
“…….”
The answer is that I will not run away from here. If so, it might be able to appease him, who is whining unusually. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
I love Alan, but the four seasons of Sourne Kingdom and Florin, the street where flowers grow on every side road, the old two-story house, and my friendly people. Simply put, I missed everything I had left behind.
If it hadn’t been for every moment of effort to suppress it, I would have burst into tears again and again.
This is a completely separate matter from loving Alan Leopold, but……. Anyway, he is also a Sornean, and I heard that the management of the new division in the Principality is a kind of test for Leopold’s succession to management.
So it was not unbearably difficult to believe that it would not be too late to return to the kingdom. Yet.
But if he says he won’t go back to Sourne, and he wants me to stay in this huge cage, I’ll…….
“Alan, I…….”
Then Alan shoved his cheek over my hair and whispered in a deep voice.
“……I don’t want to go to work. I want to stay with you.”
“Ah….”
I let out a moan like a sigh. He’s so childish. It’s strangely admirable to see Alan, who was only as cold and sharp as a winter night, clinging to me and whining like a baby.
On the other hand, it’s fascinating that I can feel the love and affection of such a big man.….
But after hearing enough about how important the new division of Lunoa, which he is now leading, and how important it means to Alan, I decided to cheer up this big, beautiful baby.
As an adult who turned twenty-one before him.
“I’ll wait for you, go ahead.”
As I kissed the side of the hard, cool arm that wrapped around my body, I smiled broadly until my cheeks swell.
“This is your home where I am.”
* * *
The lips that were slightly cool but soft like clouds, touched and fell off my hazy forehead.
Next was the eyelid, then the tip of the nose. It smelled like watery rose petals.
Next up is…….
I moved my lips like a crucian carp in anticipation of the wonderful kiss he would give me. Of course, I couldn’t even open my eyes properly.
Then the wind-like laughter dissipated, and he kissed me on the cheek. Not my lips!
“…Ugh…….”
Desperate……… he was so obnoxious that I could not bear to lift my heavy eyelids.
“Alan……!”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Alan, who was ready to go out, stood by the bed. A cloud of dim light lay on his shoulder. It was as cold and dim as his eyes.
My heart jumped again as I looked at him neatly dressed in a black coat. He’s breathtakingly beautiful even without anything on, but this perfect figure is Alan Leopold himself, whom I’ve loved for many years.
No one will know about the traces inside unless they untie that neat cravat. That fact was unbearably thrilling.
“Sleep more, Melissa.”
As he said, I had not slept properly until dawn and I was in a very confused state. I don’t know what kind of person he is. He is able to go to the office with a normal face.
Far from looking exhausted, his face isn’t even swollen. He looks like someone from a different world.
“I’ll be back not too late.”
He gently stroked my head and cheek. He’s trying to turn around like this… But, I could never let that happen.
“Why?”
I hurriedly tugged his sleeve, and Alan turned around with puzzled eyes. Facing those enchanting blue-gray eyes, I tapped my lips without a word.
“……Ha.”
Then he laughed like crazy. As I watched the jewel-like eyes narrow like the falling moon, he swallowed my lips at once.
The kiss that started sweetly became deep enough to tingle to the root of the tongue in the blink of an eye. I’m out of breath. Even though my senses were still hazy, my heart beat wildly, causing blood to circulate all over the body. Firecrackers went off in my head, and the world spun around. Just by a single kiss…….
I can’t believe there’s such an ecstatic kiss. I think it’s crazy.
I bit Alan’s lower lip, who gave me a stormy morning, and, unfortunately, I needed to let him go.
But he came over to me. His chest pressed heavily on me, and my head on a fluffy pillow was buried so deep that it could no longer be buried.
“Uh-huh, uh…!”
It’s a pity, but I managed to get him up by hitting Alan’s broad back, who had lost his composure.
“Ha….”
Alan looked down at me with dejected eyes and a sigh. Unlike before, he looked strangely disorganized.
Feeling indescribable, I grabbed the blanket tightly and moved my feet. Of course, his voice was calm and he didn’t forget to imitate the winner’s leisure.
“I will be late. I’ll be back.”
But I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again either.
* * *
I took the cup of coffee the maid handed me and gave a small greeting.
“Thank you.”
After Alan left the mansion, I chose to stay in his room instead of going back to the detached house. My tender maid left, and above all, there was no reason to insist on staying in my room because the novel <Paradise on the Moon> was not left.
In this room filled with Alan’s scent, it felt very good to be lazy, savoring light meals, tea, and coffee brought by the employees.
But I’m not just having a peaceful time right now.
Actually, I was facing one problem. The fact that Alan’s voice, who was afraid of me leaving and heartbreakingly pathetic, only deepened my anxieties.
So I decided to think hard first. Watching the steam rise like a sigh from a coffee cup.
“I….”
I love being with Alan. I love the time I spend with him, the feelings I have for him, and the love he pours out on me. I love him so much that I can’t put it into words.
But I will slowly start to hate all of this one by one.
Except for being his wife
We exchanged hot breaths and shed tears at the warmth that penetrated our skin, vowing that we were the only lovers.
But those beautiful and splendid words……… Can prove nothing.
It was, of course, grateful and moving that he told me of the many pieces of his life that I did not know and the deep feelings he had in the past.
To be honest, there were many moments when I felt unbelievable throughout listening to his story because his feelings for me were incredibly deep. It’s already been a long time.
So we started together, and we ended up meeting at the same point.
The only difference was that I had been holding that feeling all the time, and it took Alan a while because he had to come back a long way, unaware of it.
The person whom I had loved all my life found out that he wanted me with an ardent tenacity. How could this be a reality? I never dreamed that such a miraculous fortune would come to me.
“But will he ever…….”
Want to marry me?
Even though it was only this morning that I met him, who had lost his reason because he was kissing me, I keep feeling ugly.
Love and marriage are completely different matters. I don’t doubt that his heart is quite deep, but I can’t bring up the marriage story with just one feeling that might change at any time.
“Anyway, Alan will become the head of Leopold, shoulder to shoulder with the royal family…….”
In an instant, the faces of those who admired him flashed in front of my eyes one after another. Incomparably beautiful and elegant, these young girls are perfectly suited to the position of the wife of a top businessman.
It’s pathetic that I’m already thinking like this, but the truth is, last night I wanted him to talk about marriage more than anything else. I know it’s a difficult story in reality, and just being in love with him is like a dream to me….….
But even if it was a hasty confession poured out blinded by love, I hoped that it would reassure him. That was my truth.
I know it’s ridiculous greed, but the more I love him, the more I get scared. The day will come when I have to let him go.
“And he didn’t even tell me he loved me. The word love passed by, but in that way……….”
No, Alan Leopold loves me. There’s no way he doesn’t. I can tell just by looking at his eyes.
Nevertheless, the reason why he keeps bothering me, who did not tell me his love, is probably because of my shabby self, who cannot stand proudly beside him. Love but no future.
“I can’t even propose to him.….”
How long do I have to worry about my love? When will I be able to fully rest in love?
Even today, I had to feel happiness, sadness, and desperation because of love that was dazzling like a flash of light.
Chapter 114: Love But No Future
•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•
I fell asleep like a wave and woke up like a baby in Alan’s big arms.
The light of dawn shone through the curtains. Dawn is coming soon, and before that, I must let my lover go. Outside waiting for him.
As I was immersed in those thoughts, Alan muttered as he buried his head in the nape of my neck, perhaps recognizing that I had woken up with an irregular breathing sound. His voice sounded sleepy.
“……I want to live here, forever.” (Alan)
Even though I was astonished inside because I didn’t know he was awake, I whispered softly as I stroked Alan’s strong arm that covered my chest.
“Is the principality good? You can just live here…….”
Wherever he is, I wish I could be with him.
But his gentle answer hardened me.
“No, inside you.”
“…….”
“Like now.”
“…….”
……I can’t believe I’m having this vulgar conversation with Alan Leopold.
I’m surprised he was a man who could say this, but we really…… I can’t believe we’re lovers.
It’s more like a novel than a novel.
(T/N: it’s like their story is more novel-like than the actual novel)
As Melissa Collins still lives today, even in my previous life, my birthday was one of the insignificant things I had.
But I received Alan Leopold as a gift on my birthday….…. Can I think of it as a celebration that I’ve never received before?
But it’s still too much for me…….
He insinuated me with this stupid idea.
“……Melissa.”
Alan said as I secretly wrinkled my nose because the breath on my shoulder tickled like a feather.
“It’s boring to stay here.”
“…….”
“I know you won’t like it.”
He hugged me a little tighter. whispering like a sigh.
“I know, but I can’t let you go. I’m sorry.”
“Alan.”
“I’m scared. Of you running away from me.”
“…….”
The answer is that I will not run away from here. If so, it might be able to appease him, who is whining unusually. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
I love Alan, but the four seasons of Sourne Kingdom and Florin, the street where flowers grow on every side road, the old two-story house, and my friendly people. Simply put, I missed everything I had left behind.
If it hadn’t been for every moment of effort to suppress it, I would have burst into tears again and again.
This is a completely separate matter from loving Alan Leopold, but……. Anyway, he is also a Sornean, and I heard that the management of the new division in the Principality is a kind of test for Leopold’s succession to management.
So it was not unbearably difficult to believe that it would not be too late to return to the kingdom. Yet.
But if he says he won’t go back to Sourne, and he wants me to stay in this huge cage, I’ll…….
“Alan, I…….”
Then Alan shoved his cheek over my hair and whispered in a deep voice.
“……I don’t want to go to work. I want to stay with you.”
“Ah….”
I let out a moan like a sigh. He’s so childish. It’s strangely admirable to see Alan, who was only as cold and sharp as a winter night, clinging to me and whining like a baby.
On the other hand, it’s fascinating that I can feel the love and affection of such a big man.….
But after hearing enough about how important the new division of Lunoa, which he is now leading, and how important it means to Alan, I decided to cheer up this big, beautiful baby.
As an adult who turned twenty-one before him.
“I’ll wait for you, go ahead.”
As I kissed the side of the hard, cool arm that wrapped around my body, I smiled broadly until my cheeks swell.
“This is your home where I am.”
* * *
The lips that were slightly cool but soft like clouds, touched and fell off my hazy forehead.
Next was the eyelid, then the tip of the nose. It smelled like watery rose petals.
Next up is…….
I moved my lips like a crucian carp in anticipation of the wonderful kiss he would give me. Of course, I couldn’t even open my eyes properly.
Then the wind-like laughter dissipated, and he kissed me on the cheek. Not my lips!
“…Ugh…….”
Desperate……… he was so obnoxious that I could not bear to lift my heavy eyelids.
“Alan……!”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Alan, who was ready to go out, stood by the bed. A cloud of dim light lay on his shoulder. It was as cold and dim as his eyes.
My heart jumped again as I looked at him neatly dressed in a black coat. He’s breathtakingly beautiful even without anything on, but this perfect figure is Alan Leopold himself, whom I’ve loved for many years.
No one will know about the traces inside unless they untie that neat cravat. That fact was unbearably thrilling.
“Sleep more, Melissa.”
As he said, I had not slept properly until dawn and I was in a very confused state. I don’t know what kind of person he is. He is able to go to the office with a normal face.
Far from looking exhausted, his face isn’t even swollen. He looks like someone from a different world.
“I’ll be back not too late.”
He gently stroked my head and cheek. He’s trying to turn around like this… But, I could never let that happen.
“Why?”
I hurriedly tugged his sleeve, and Alan turned around with puzzled eyes. Facing those enchanting blue-gray eyes, I tapped my lips without a word.
“……Ha.”
Then he laughed like crazy. As I watched the jewel-like eyes narrow like the falling moon, he swallowed my lips at once.
The kiss that started sweetly became deep enough to tingle to the root of the tongue in the blink of an eye. I’m out of breath. Even though my senses were still hazy, my heart beat wildly, causing blood to circulate all over the body. Firecrackers went off in my head, and the world spun around. Just by a single kiss…….
I can’t believe there’s such an ecstatic kiss. I think it’s crazy.
I bit Alan’s lower lip, who gave me a stormy morning, and, unfortunately, I needed to let him go.
But he came over to me. His chest pressed heavily on me, and my head on a fluffy pillow was buried so deep that it could no longer be buried.
“Uh-huh, uh…!”
It’s a pity, but I managed to get him up by hitting Alan’s broad back, who had lost his composure.
“Ha….”
Alan looked down at me with dejected eyes and a sigh. Unlike before, he looked strangely disorganized.
Feeling indescribable, I grabbed the blanket tightly and moved my feet. Of course, his voice was calm and he didn’t forget to imitate the winner’s leisure.
“I will be late. I’ll be back.”
But I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again either.
* * *
I took the cup of coffee the maid handed me and gave a small greeting.
“Thank you.”
After Alan left the mansion, I chose to stay in his room instead of going back to the detached house. My tender maid left, and above all, there was no reason to insist on staying in my room because the novel <Paradise on the Moon> was not left.
In this room filled with Alan’s scent, it felt very good to be lazy, savoring light meals, tea, and coffee brought by the employees.
But I’m not just having a peaceful time right now.
Actually, I was facing one problem. The fact that Alan’s voice, who was afraid of me leaving and heartbreakingly pathetic, only deepened my anxieties.
So I decided to think hard first. Watching the steam rise like a sigh from a coffee cup.
“I….”
I love being with Alan. I love the time I spend with him, the feelings I have for him, and the love he pours out on me. I love him so much that I can’t put it into words.
But I will slowly start to hate all of this one by one.
Except for being his wife
We exchanged hot breaths and shed tears at the warmth that penetrated our skin, vowing that we were the only lovers.
But those beautiful and splendid words……… Can prove nothing.
It was, of course, grateful and moving that he told me of the many pieces of his life that I did not know and the deep feelings he had in the past.
To be honest, there were many moments when I felt unbelievable throughout listening to his story because his feelings for me were incredibly deep. It’s already been a long time.
So we started together, and we ended up meeting at the same point.
The only difference was that I had been holding that feeling all the time, and it took Alan a while because he had to come back a long way, unaware of it.
The person whom I had loved all my life found out that he wanted me with an ardent tenacity. How could this be a reality? I never dreamed that such a miraculous fortune would come to me.
“But will he ever…….”
Want to marry me?
Even though it was only this morning that I met him, who had lost his reason because he was kissing me, I keep feeling ugly.
Love and marriage are completely different matters. I don’t doubt that his heart is quite deep, but I can’t bring up the marriage story with just one feeling that might change at any time.
“Anyway, Alan will become the head of Leopold, shoulder to shoulder with the royal family…….”
In an instant, the faces of those who admired him flashed in front of my eyes one after another. Incomparably beautiful and elegant, these young girls are perfectly suited to the position of the wife of a top businessman.
It’s pathetic that I’m already thinking like this, but the truth is, last night I wanted him to talk about marriage more than anything else. I know it’s a difficult story in reality, and just being in love with him is like a dream to me….….
But even if it was a hasty confession poured out blinded by love, I hoped that it would reassure him. That was my truth.
I know it’s ridiculous greed, but the more I love him, the more I get scared. The day will come when I have to let him go.
“And he didn’t even tell me he loved me. The word love passed by, but in that way……….”
No, Alan Leopold loves me. There’s no way he doesn’t. I can tell just by looking at his eyes.
Nevertheless, the reason why he keeps bothering me, who did not tell me his love, is probably because of my shabby self, who cannot stand proudly beside him. Love but no future.
“I can’t even propose to him.….”
How long do I have to worry about my love? When will I be able to fully rest in love?
Even today, I had to feel happiness, sadness, and desperation because of love that was dazzling like a flash of light.
