"All done," called Cluma, dropping from the ceiling, where she'd somehow managed to suspend herself while nailing a cabinet to the wall. "Any more furniture?"
"Nope, I think that's everything. It's not like I need much storage space, anyway. I keep everything important in [Item Box]."
"It's a house! You have to have furniture. Sheesh, if it was up to you, I'd bet you'd just dump your mattress on the floor instead of a bed-frame!"
"Huh? Name one person in the village who slept on anything other than a sack of hay."
Cluma paused, mid rant. "Okay, that's a valid point. But now you've got a proper mattress, so it needs a proper frame."
"Anyway, I'm not that bad. We could fit six people around that table, and the kitchen has everything your mum's has. Our bathroom even has a shower. This place isn't under-furnished, especially considering that I bought it yesterday."
"Hehe," giggled Cluma, for no apparent reason. Oh, right. I'd just called it our bathroom instead of the bathroom. Oops.
When it came to installing furniture, [Item Box] was simply unfair. The available volume and maximum item dimensions had increased exponentially with level, and long gone were the days when even my staff was too long to store with the spell. There was no worrying about carrying bulky items upstairs, or whether things fitted through doorways. I'd have seriously loved it back when I was furnishing my home back on Earth. I'd have loved my System enhanced strength, too. Not to mention a helper who was happy hammering in nails while hanging from the rafters.
I'd already retrieved my lump of toe from the guild. While I could have severed the link, that would have broken [Shelter] and left the chunk of flesh in the foyer, which would have been impolite. They'd have known it was me, too. Who else used such stupid skills? But at least now I no longer had to worry about freaking out random delvers while teleporting to Dawnhold.
"Seems like we're done, then," I commented, looking around. Sleeping in a house on my own was going to be weird. Lonely, too. "Unless you want me to move your stuff into the spare bedroom?"
"Thought you didn't want me moving in? Feeling homesick already?" giggled Cluma.
"Maybe? Well, it's only lunchtime. Think we can take out the floor ten boss today?"
Seriously... We'd just furnished the entire house before lunch. To be fair, a lot of the kitchen and bathroom fixtures had already been there, and it wasn't as if furniture in this world came flat-packed and in need of assembly, but it was still surprising we managed to buy and install everything we needed so quickly.
Should I introduce flat-pack furniture? I bet assembling the bloody things would trigger the creation of a new skill.
"Two more floors? Yup, I see no reason why not, but don't you want to invite everyone around for a party to celebrate your new home?"
"Dad's busy planting, and the rest of my family won't come without him. Not really the best time."
"Teleport him? Kari said it would be safe for humans."
"She also said it would be safe for you," I pointed out. Besides, there was the other bit I didn't say out loud; base mana capacity was dependant on someone's intelligence stat, so if safety was based on my target having a similar mana capacity to me, dad wouldn't have a good time.
"Fine, but that's only three people. What about everyone else?"
"You have a bigger definition of 'everyone' than me. I've certainly never needed to close down a street to celebrate a birthday."
Cluma pouted. "Fine. Be boring, then."
"Maybe we can have a party some other time? But for now, dungeon."
Floor nine of the dungeon wasn't another clone of floor eight, or at least, the monsters weren't. The jungle itself was identical. That was something that seemed to be common to all dungeons; the architecture didn't vary by floor. The dungeons would be far more interesting if we had a floor of jungle followed by a floor of cave, followed by something else new. It would make it harder to clear them, I suppose; with the current fixed themes, people could avoid dungeons that countered their abilities. If it varied, every dungeon could end up with a floor that countered a delver. What if one of the early floors of every dungeon was underwater, for example?
Were water-breathing enchantments a thing? If they were, would they be an accessory enchantment? Without mythril, it wouldn't have been possible to mass produce them.
Despite the familiar jungle, the monsters this time were dart snakes, thirty centimetres long, a dirty brown colour that camouflaged well against the floor, and fast moving. But the biggest problem was that they could sense Cluma.
"Eep," she cried, jumping to dodge a strike from behind. The few snakes surrounding her paused their movement, waving their heads around, forked tongues darting in and out as if tasting the air. Then Cluma landed, and all three snakes turned to face her.
"It was when you touched the floor!" I shouted, clubbing a snake that was heading towards me. "They must be sensing vibrations!"
Cluma back-stepped, treading lightly, but nevertheless, each time her feet made contact with the floor, the snakes changed course. Then she dived forward, reaching down as she passed horizontally over the top of the snakes. The first and second she stabbed, leaving her dagger embedded in them, pinning them to the ground. Out of daggers, she tapped the third, invoking [Minor Harm]. The snake curled up, bleeding, giving Cluma time to land, roll, spring to her feet and finish it off.
"Yay, I levelled [Minor Harm]!"
"Congratulations," I said, topping off her mana, since the control provided by her own [Mana Control] wasn't sufficiently fine-grained to recharge herself. "Looks like your [Stealth] isn't going to help much on this floor. They may well have been able to smell you without your earring, too, judging by the tongue flicking."
"Huh? What do tongues have to do with smelling?"
That was right, wasn't it? Snakes used their tongues to smell? This may not be Earth, but the way they were flicking them looked exactly like the sort of snake I was used to. Or maybe it wasn't that they smelled with their tongues directly, but they were involved in some other way? If they were smelling with them, they could just stick them out, rather than the repeated flicking motion. I was no expert.
"I'm not actually sure, but I know they pull their tongues in and out like that when they're trying to track a scent."
"Snakes are weird."
"Remind me to tell you about the (duck-billed platypus) sometime."
"The what?"
"The thing that will convince you that snakes are actually pretty normal."
Now that we knew the snakes could pick up vibrations, and that Cluma's silence enchantment did nothing to prevent it, we weren't caught by surprise again, completing the rest of the floor without difficulty and stepping onto floor ten.
"That's the same monster," pointed out Cluma as a group of brown snakes approached us.
"Not quite. These are deadly dart snakes," I supplied, checking one with [Analysis]. "They have slightly higher strength and much higher dexterity."
"They're faster? They..."
Cluma's sentence was interrupted when one of the snakes launched itself straight at her, despite her still being under the effects of [Stealth].
"Whu?" she gasped, dodging, but another two snakes leapt from the ground, flying through the air like missiles.
I swung with [Far Reach], clubbing one mid-flight, but I couldn't do anything about the second. Caught by surprise, Cluma failed to dodge, holding up an arm instead as a makeshift barrier. The snake collided with it head first, but its mouth had been open wide, and it bit down the moment it impacted. Unlike the bullet serpents, these didn't self-destruct on impact.
"Cluma!" I screamed, slicing through the original snake before it had a chance to make a second attack.
Cluma cut off the head of the snake that had bitten her, still fastened to her arm. The body dropped away in a splash of blood, the head loosening and falling moments later.
"What was it you were saying yesterday about me not panicking if you got hurt?" she giggled. "It couldn't even bite through my armour. Even if it did, it wouldn't have done much. I have plenty of antidote."
I sighed, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I knew the venom of the snakes on this floor only did stat damage, and that with their small fangs, they weren't going to cause a fatal wound by biting her arm, even if she had no armour at all. She was right; I'd panicked.
In my defence, we were on floor ten. These snakes were the same level as orcs. If one of us took a blow from an orc, we'd certainly feel it, so it was a surprise the snake couldn't penetrate her armour. I suppose blunt attacks could still hurt even if they failed to damage our armour, while a piercing attack wouldn't.
"Sorry. But I do keep pointing out that I'm not perfect."
"I know. It's part of your charm."
Although the snakes had the ability to leap from ground level, they lacked the insane speed of the floor five bullet serpents, and we had no further near misses on our way to the exit. The boss chamber was empty, but the portal to the boss was grey and translucent, indicating it was occupied. I suppose that shouldn't come as a surprise, given the ease of fighting a boss repeatedly.
"When we solo this for the title evolution, do we have to face the bosses?" asked Cluma as we waited. "No, actually, I don't care. The bigger problem is that we'll need to cross all twenty floors again. It'll take a week! I can't teleport out if I'm on my own, and I won't have your [Item Box] to keep food and water in."
"We'll have to get you a spatially expanded storage bag. And yeah, I've been worrying about how long it would take. Even if I can teleport, I wouldn't dare to; it might disqualify me. I assumed I'd have to do five floors at a time and sleep in the safe room."
"If we have to walk around the outside of each jungle, that's a day and a half of solid delving with no chance to sleep. Longer, if we stop to rest."
"Hopefully, by the time we're ready, we'll have some means of taking the direct route. If not... Maybe I need to make another attempt at finding (coffee). I'll need to ask Henry where he gets his supply, if it turns out to be the same stuff."
"(Coffee)? Is that another English word? Is it anything like a (duck-billed platypus)?"
"No, it really isn't."
My explanation of the wonders of caffeine—and the horrifying thought of the effects it might have on Cluma—was interrupted by the portal flickering and two and a half metres of demonic woman stepping out. I peered past her, but there didn't seem to be anyone else.
"Oh? Someone else brave enough to step into a dungeon without needing a team to back him up?" she said, grinning.
"I do have a team, actually. She's sneaking up behind you."
"Oi!" complained the invisible Cluma. "Don't spoil the surprise!"
"Spoiling the surprise was the point, or did you forget what I told you about sneaking up on delvers in dungeons already?"
"Oh," said Cluma, becoming visible. "Maybe? Just a little?"
The demon turned to look at Cluma, just in time to be greeted by a traditional Cluma hug.
[Analysis] showed her to be a [Brimstone Brawler] by the name of Kikrizzik, who had previously been through [Warrior] and [Ranger], and had the [Novice Delver] title. Given that Camus knew about it, it was obvious I wasn't the only one around with it, but this was the first other holder I'd actually seen.
"Both of us have the [Novice Delver] title, though, if that helps. And judicious application of head-pats is the quickest way to get her to detach."
"Why would anyone want to cut hugs short?" complained Cluma,.
Kikrizzik seemed to be struggling to hold in her laughter. "What sort of party are you two?" she managed to squeeze out. "Some sort of jester group?"
"Oi!" shouted Cluma, detaching.
"Oh, wow, that was even quicker than deploying head-pats," I noted. "I'll have to remember that trick."
"Not you, too," moaned Cluma.
"Anyway, you have to admit she has a point," I added, removing my helmet and letting my fake ears perk up. "Our interactions do have a tendency to deteriorate into comedy."
"There's nothing funny about hugs!"
"Hah. I like you two kids!" exclaimed the demon, managing to squeeze a few words in between our exchange.
Kikrizzik, Demon, targeted you with [Appraisal]
ding
Skill [Secrecy] advanced to level 10
"Bah, you both have appraisal blockers? What're you hiding? No, don't tell me. Given those ears and your bickering, it's gotta be [Xenophilia]."
Darn it. What's the point of having [Secrecy] if people can just deduce it manually?! At least I got a level from it. Did I unlock anything from it hitting ten?
Skills available for purchase:
0 points: [Weapon Style: One-Handed] [Weapon Style: Two-Handed] [Weapon Style: Shield] [Weapon Style: Dual Wielding]
8 points: [Profound Mana Pool] [Profound Stamina Pool] [Rapid Mana Regeneration] [Rapid Stamina Regeneration] [Soul Sight] [Status Concealment]
23 points: [Eye of Judgement]
I did indeed. Another one for my if-I'm-drowning-in-soul-points list. I was only up to fifteen so far, which was still a way off what I needed for [Eye of Judgement].
"I will neither confirm nor deny the possibility of me possessing [Xenophilia]," I deadpanned, but I'd felt my ears flop, so I held no hope of fooling her.
Kikrizzik burst out laughing again. "Were you waiting for the boss?" she asked, gasping for breath. "I've gotta come watch. I wanna see you fight!"
"Sure!" said Cluma, fading back into invisibility. "I've only just arrived on this island, so the more new friends, the better!"
"Come on then," I said, replacing my helmet back on my head. "Let's go stab some snakes."
AnnouncementIt's the start of the month again, so here's the regular reminder that there's a patreon. Currently 38 chapters ahead, where Peter has just had a very Peter-like brainwave. Hopefully, he'll survive.
And here's the usual lineup of cover images. (Each cover is an amazon link.)
"All done," called Cluma, dropping from the ceiling, where she'd somehow managed to suspend herself while nailing a cabinet to the wall. "Any more furniture?"
"Nope, I think that's everything. It's not like I need much storage space, anyway. I keep everything important in [Item Box]."
"It's a house! You have to have furniture. Sheesh, if it was up to you, I'd bet you'd just dump your mattress on the floor instead of a bed-frame!"
"Huh? Name one person in the village who slept on anything other than a sack of hay."
Cluma paused, mid rant. "Okay, that's a valid point. But now you've got a proper mattress, so it needs a proper frame."
"Anyway, I'm not that bad. We could fit six people around that table, and the kitchen has everything your mum's has. Our bathroom even has a shower. This place isn't under-furnished, especially considering that I bought it yesterday."
"Hehe," giggled Cluma, for no apparent reason. Oh, right. I'd just called it our bathroom instead of the bathroom. Oops.
When it came to installing furniture, [Item Box] was simply unfair. The available volume and maximum item dimensions had increased exponentially with level, and long gone were the days when even my staff was too long to store with the spell. There was no worrying about carrying bulky items upstairs, or whether things fitted through doorways. I'd have seriously loved it back when I was furnishing my home back on Earth. I'd have loved my System enhanced strength, too. Not to mention a helper who was happy hammering in nails while hanging from the rafters.
I'd already retrieved my lump of toe from the guild. While I could have severed the link, that would have broken [Shelter] and left the chunk of flesh in the foyer, which would have been impolite. They'd have known it was me, too. Who else used such stupid skills? But at least now I no longer had to worry about freaking out random delvers while teleporting to Dawnhold.
"Seems like we're done, then," I commented, looking around. Sleeping in a house on my own was going to be weird. Lonely, too. "Unless you want me to move your stuff into the spare bedroom?"
"Thought you didn't want me moving in? Feeling homesick already?" giggled Cluma.
"Maybe? Well, it's only lunchtime. Think we can take out the floor ten boss today?"
Seriously... We'd just furnished the entire house before lunch. To be fair, a lot of the kitchen and bathroom fixtures had already been there, and it wasn't as if furniture in this world came flat-packed and in need of assembly, but it was still surprising we managed to buy and install everything we needed so quickly.
Should I introduce flat-pack furniture? I bet assembling the bloody things would trigger the creation of a new skill.
"Two more floors? Yup, I see no reason why not, but don't you want to invite everyone around for a party to celebrate your new home?"
"Dad's busy planting, and the rest of my family won't come without him. Not really the best time."
"Teleport him? Kari said it would be safe for humans."
"She also said it would be safe for you," I pointed out. Besides, there was the other bit I didn't say out loud; base mana capacity was dependant on someone's intelligence stat, so if safety was based on my target having a similar mana capacity to me, dad wouldn't have a good time.
"Fine, but that's only three people. What about everyone else?"
"You have a bigger definition of 'everyone' than me. I've certainly never needed to close down a street to celebrate a birthday."
Cluma pouted. "Fine. Be boring, then."
"Maybe we can have a party some other time? But for now, dungeon."
Floor nine of the dungeon wasn't another clone of floor eight, or at least, the monsters weren't. The jungle itself was identical. That was something that seemed to be common to all dungeons; the architecture didn't vary by floor. The dungeons would be far more interesting if we had a floor of jungle followed by a floor of cave, followed by something else new. It would make it harder to clear them, I suppose; with the current fixed themes, people could avoid dungeons that countered their abilities. If it varied, every dungeon could end up with a floor that countered a delver. What if one of the early floors of every dungeon was underwater, for example?
Were water-breathing enchantments a thing? If they were, would they be an accessory enchantment? Without mythril, it wouldn't have been possible to mass produce them.
Despite the familiar jungle, the monsters this time were dart snakes, thirty centimetres long, a dirty brown colour that camouflaged well against the floor, and fast moving. But the biggest problem was that they could sense Cluma.
"Eep," she cried, jumping to dodge a strike from behind. The few snakes surrounding her paused their movement, waving their heads around, forked tongues darting in and out as if tasting the air. Then Cluma landed, and all three snakes turned to face her.
"It was when you touched the floor!" I shouted, clubbing a snake that was heading towards me. "They must be sensing vibrations!"
Cluma back-stepped, treading lightly, but nevertheless, each time her feet made contact with the floor, the snakes changed course. Then she dived forward, reaching down as she passed horizontally over the top of the snakes. The first and second she stabbed, leaving her dagger embedded in them, pinning them to the ground. Out of daggers, she tapped the third, invoking [Minor Harm]. The snake curled up, bleeding, giving Cluma time to land, roll, spring to her feet and finish it off.
"Yay, I levelled [Minor Harm]!"
"Congratulations," I said, topping off her mana, since the control provided by her own [Mana Control] wasn't sufficiently fine-grained to recharge herself. "Looks like your [Stealth] isn't going to help much on this floor. They may well have been able to smell you without your earring, too, judging by the tongue flicking."
"Huh? What do tongues have to do with smelling?"
That was right, wasn't it? Snakes used their tongues to smell? This may not be Earth, but the way they were flicking them looked exactly like the sort of snake I was used to. Or maybe it wasn't that they smelled with their tongues directly, but they were involved in some other way? If they were smelling with them, they could just stick them out, rather than the repeated flicking motion. I was no expert.
"I'm not actually sure, but I know they pull their tongues in and out like that when they're trying to track a scent."
"Snakes are weird."
"Remind me to tell you about the (duck-billed platypus) sometime."
"The what?"
"The thing that will convince you that snakes are actually pretty normal."
Now that we knew the snakes could pick up vibrations, and that Cluma's silence enchantment did nothing to prevent it, we weren't caught by surprise again, completing the rest of the floor without difficulty and stepping onto floor ten.
"That's the same monster," pointed out Cluma as a group of brown snakes approached us.
"Not quite. These are deadly dart snakes," I supplied, checking one with [Analysis]. "They have slightly higher strength and much higher dexterity."
"They're faster? They..."
Cluma's sentence was interrupted when one of the snakes launched itself straight at her, despite her still being under the effects of [Stealth].
"Whu?" she gasped, dodging, but another two snakes leapt from the ground, flying through the air like missiles.
I swung with [Far Reach], clubbing one mid-flight, but I couldn't do anything about the second. Caught by surprise, Cluma failed to dodge, holding up an arm instead as a makeshift barrier. The snake collided with it head first, but its mouth had been open wide, and it bit down the moment it impacted. Unlike the bullet serpents, these didn't self-destruct on impact.
"Cluma!" I screamed, slicing through the original snake before it had a chance to make a second attack.
Cluma cut off the head of the snake that had bitten her, still fastened to her arm. The body dropped away in a splash of blood, the head loosening and falling moments later.
"What was it you were saying yesterday about me not panicking if you got hurt?" she giggled. "It couldn't even bite through my armour. Even if it did, it wouldn't have done much. I have plenty of antidote."
I sighed, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I knew the venom of the snakes on this floor only did stat damage, and that with their small fangs, they weren't going to cause a fatal wound by biting her arm, even if she had no armour at all. She was right; I'd panicked.
In my defence, we were on floor ten. These snakes were the same level as orcs. If one of us took a blow from an orc, we'd certainly feel it, so it was a surprise the snake couldn't penetrate her armour. I suppose blunt attacks could still hurt even if they failed to damage our armour, while a piercing attack wouldn't.
"Sorry. But I do keep pointing out that I'm not perfect."
"I know. It's part of your charm."
Although the snakes had the ability to leap from ground level, they lacked the insane speed of the floor five bullet serpents, and we had no further near misses on our way to the exit. The boss chamber was empty, but the portal to the boss was grey and translucent, indicating it was occupied. I suppose that shouldn't come as a surprise, given the ease of fighting a boss repeatedly.
"When we solo this for the title evolution, do we have to face the bosses?" asked Cluma as we waited. "No, actually, I don't care. The bigger problem is that we'll need to cross all twenty floors again. It'll take a week! I can't teleport out if I'm on my own, and I won't have your [Item Box] to keep food and water in."
"We'll have to get you a spatially expanded storage bag. And yeah, I've been worrying about how long it would take. Even if I can teleport, I wouldn't dare to; it might disqualify me. I assumed I'd have to do five floors at a time and sleep in the safe room."
"If we have to walk around the outside of each jungle, that's a day and a half of solid delving with no chance to sleep. Longer, if we stop to rest."
"Hopefully, by the time we're ready, we'll have some means of taking the direct route. If not... Maybe I need to make another attempt at finding (coffee). I'll need to ask Henry where he gets his supply, if it turns out to be the same stuff."
"(Coffee)? Is that another English word? Is it anything like a (duck-billed platypus)?"
"No, it really isn't."
My explanation of the wonders of caffeine—and the horrifying thought of the effects it might have on Cluma—was interrupted by the portal flickering and two and a half metres of demonic woman stepping out. I peered past her, but there didn't seem to be anyone else.
"Oh? Someone else brave enough to step into a dungeon without needing a team to back him up?" she said, grinning.
"I do have a team, actually. She's sneaking up behind you."
"Oi!" complained the invisible Cluma. "Don't spoil the surprise!"
"Spoiling the surprise was the point, or did you forget what I told you about sneaking up on delvers in dungeons already?"
"Oh," said Cluma, becoming visible. "Maybe? Just a little?"
The demon turned to look at Cluma, just in time to be greeted by a traditional Cluma hug.
[Analysis] showed her to be a [Brimstone Brawler] by the name of Kikrizzik, who had previously been through [Warrior] and [Ranger], and had the [Novice Delver] title. Given that Camus knew about it, it was obvious I wasn't the only one around with it, but this was the first other holder I'd actually seen.
"Both of us have the [Novice Delver] title, though, if that helps. And judicious application of head-pats is the quickest way to get her to detach."
"Why would anyone want to cut hugs short?" complained Cluma,.
Kikrizzik seemed to be struggling to hold in her laughter. "What sort of party are you two?" she managed to squeeze out. "Some sort of jester group?"
"Oi!" shouted Cluma, detaching.
"Oh, wow, that was even quicker than deploying head-pats," I noted. "I'll have to remember that trick."
"Not you, too," moaned Cluma.
"Anyway, you have to admit she has a point," I added, removing my helmet and letting my fake ears perk up. "Our interactions do have a tendency to deteriorate into comedy."
"There's nothing funny about hugs!"
"Hah. I like you two kids!" exclaimed the demon, managing to squeeze a few words in between our exchange.
Kikrizzik, Demon, targeted you with [Appraisal]
ding
Skill [Secrecy] advanced to level 10
"Bah, you both have appraisal blockers? What're you hiding? No, don't tell me. Given those ears and your bickering, it's gotta be [Xenophilia]."
Darn it. What's the point of having [Secrecy] if people can just deduce it manually?! At least I got a level from it. Did I unlock anything from it hitting ten?
Skills available for purchase:
0 points: [Weapon Style: One-Handed] [Weapon Style: Two-Handed] [Weapon Style: Shield] [Weapon Style: Dual Wielding]
8 points: [Profound Mana Pool] [Profound Stamina Pool] [Rapid Mana Regeneration] [Rapid Stamina Regeneration] [Soul Sight] [Status Concealment]
23 points: [Eye of Judgement]
I did indeed. Another one for my if-I'm-drowning-in-soul-points list. I was only up to fifteen so far, which was still a way off what I needed for [Eye of Judgement].
"I will neither confirm nor deny the possibility of me possessing [Xenophilia]," I deadpanned, but I'd felt my ears flop, so I held no hope of fooling her.
Kikrizzik burst out laughing again. "Were you waiting for the boss?" she asked, gasping for breath. "I've gotta come watch. I wanna see you fight!"
"Sure!" said Cluma, fading back into invisibility. "I've only just arrived on this island, so the more new friends, the better!"
"Come on then," I said, replacing my helmet back on my head. "Let's go stab some snakes."
AnnouncementIt's the start of the month again, so here's the regular reminder that there's a patreon. Currently 38 chapters ahead, where Peter has just had a very Peter-like brainwave. Hopefully, he'll survive.
And here's the usual lineup of cover images. (Each cover is an amazon link.)
