He Yu is really crazy.
It has been many days since the night of horror, and he has already been discharged from the hospital, but he did not tell anyone and did not return to the main house.
Now everyone is disgusting and hypocritical in his eyes. He owns a set of flats in a new property in the downtown area of Huzhou. After he got the key, he didn't go there very often. At this moment, he chose to live there alone.
When he first saw those videos of Xie Qingcheng, he was very shocked, but after he woke up, he was not reconciled.
When he calmed down in the hospital, he wondered if he had misunderstood.
Could it be that the criminal gang had ulterior motives, Xie Qingcheng's past events were taken out of context. Xie Qingcheng is not such a person.
He went home with such anticipation and last hope - he wanted to confirm it himself, and didn't want to be disturbed by anyone.
However, what he did not expect was that the things that were turned out were far more cruel than the tip of the iceberg he saw on the video.
The truth is terrible.
The deeper he looked, the sicker he got.
On the table is the medicine to control the disease. After he took a few pills, he never touched it again.
Because it doesn't work at all.
The results of his personal investigation made his inner world even more collapsed, and it was no longer something that some pills could control. His heart seemed to grow moss, and his whole body was numb. He wanted to kill and devour blood. In his eyes, morality and law suddenly became very unworthy of mention.
Also, when a mental Ebola attack occurs, life is nothing. If a person is not afraid of death, what are the social rules of the game?
He Yu was sitting on the black single arm sofa. The phone rang many times. It was a call from Xie Qingcheng with a message, but he did not answer or read it.
He just raised his eyes and looked at the whole white wall in front of him.
With a floor height of more than five meters, the walls are as wide as a huge screen in a movie theater.
At this moment, thousands of chat records are densely projected on the wall.
—this is the private sending and receiving messages of Xie Qingcheng that can be recovered from cloud traces through black technology in the past many years.
Information about He Yu.
He Yu is a top hacker, he has always had this kind of perverted ability, but he is not necessarily able to do certain things, just like there are many people in this society who have the ability to kill , but how many would become real murderers? He Yu has a clear boundary in his heart, and he has never crossed that boundary in the past.
But once you pry open the dusty door and step inside, you can see what the inside is like.
He looked cold.
Although the time interval is too long and the message recovery is incomplete, the information that can be obtained is sufficient.
From the earliest recoverable content, he saw that his father gave Xie Qingcheng a high offer and asked him to see a doctor, but Xie Qingcheng was not so willing at first, and said 3 Case No. 1 had already died, and he had a serious tendency of violent attacks before his death. Although he was very sympathetic to He Yu's experience, he really didn't want to spend time on long-term entanglements with mental Ebola patients.
"Taking care of this kind of patient is fruitless and doesn't make much sense. I want to use this time to do something more worthwhile."
He Jiwei sent him a message: "He Yu is different. He is too young, he and Case No. 3 will definitely not go the same way. You won't be unattractive, Doctor Xie, please look at my relationship with you before, and you come to our house to talk at least once. See my son. "
"Mr. He, I have other very important things to accomplish, and I don't agree with the kind of companion therapy that other doctors and you said. Maintaining a long-term relationship with a doctor will make the patient feel Relying on psychology and forcibly ending treatment at that time is like detoxification, but it is more likely to affect the patient's emotional rebound."
He Jiwei: "But I have no other way. I can only try this way."
“…”
"Doctor Xie, please take my face and see him at least once, okay?"
It was so difficult when I came here, and I asked for it.
What day?
The day I left—
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you still decide to end this job."
"Yes."
"Beyond the contract, there are still human relationships. You have always been very kind to He Yu, and sometimes you even quarrel with me for him..."
"It's the same attitude for anyone else. Because that's what I should do when I get the money."
"But He Yu is already dependent on you, you should know that."
"I told Mr. He from the beginning that long-term companion therapy will have such an impact on patients. This is actually what we expected."
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you are different to him..."
Xie Qingcheng: "But to me, he is the same as all patients."
"No difference."
The conversation is not over yet.
He Jiwei said: "Xie Qingcheng, if you insist on leaving, I can't force it to stay, but even if the contract is terminated early, we originally agreed on ten years. There are some rewards, I promise you, It can’t be all fulfilled.”
Xie Qingcheng: "It's okay, I don't care."
Having said this, He Jiwei understood that it was useless to talk to Xie Qingcheng.
After being silent for a long time, his message turned into: "...then think about how to tell him, you left too suddenly, you have to find a way to make him accept it as soon as possible."
Xie Qing replied simply: "If you have no objection, Mr. He, I plan to tell him that the original term of the contract is seven years, so that he will feel more comfortable. But it also needs your cooperation. ."
“…”
"Xie Qingcheng, is there really no room for negotiation on this matter? Qin Ciyan's matter has hit you so hard, do you have to do this?"
"Mr. He, there is nothing that will never end, this is a job."
"I can't, and I've never been more emotional."
"I must leave."
"Can't wait for the contract to expire?"
"Can't."
"...Xie Qingcheng, your heart is really colder than I thought."
"That was the whitest lie to him."
The city lights outside the window flickered, the huge billboards were constantly changing, and the light reflected in He Yu's living room flowed like sparkling water waves, washing over the tens of thousands of messages projected on the wall.
Flowing water took away the lead, He Yu seemed to see Xie Qingcheng's face clearly today.
His patience, equality, acceptance with him are all false.
Even the contract period said at parting is not true.
At that time he really believed.
I wrote to Xie Qingcheng that the time is up, so I decided to leave.
So the truth is this...
Ten years.
Xie Qingcheng should have been with him until he graduated from high school.
But after the Qin Ciyan incident, Xie Qingcheng would rather cut the pay than leave him resolutely.
How scared is he?
He teamed up with He Jiwei to deceive himself, but he was still so calm, spoke the big truth with conclusiveness, and told himself that this was a normal separation in a relationship.
The truth is all presented by Xie Qing, and he is like an ignorant and vexatious clown.
Stupid...
It's all fake.
Fake!
The words of Xie Qingcheng who once supported him, gave him strength in the pain of his illness, made him struggle to protect his heart, are indeed just what a psychiatrist said to a patient.
It's like a surgeon saying to a patient with advanced cancer: "You have to keep going and there will be hope."
In fact, the doctor knew that there was no hope.
It seems that the police are persuading young people who want to commit suicide: "You are not ugly! Why do you think so? Everyone is unique, there will always be people who like you, come down quickly , give me your hand!"
But did the police really not see the ugly face and fat body of the boy who committed suicide?
That is only the most vain consolation.
Xie Qingcheng's medical concept, the concept that led him to the society, once gave him ten years of inner support, even if Xie Qingcheng finally chose to leave, He Yu did not He harbors resentment.
He tried his best to understand what Xie Qingcheng said, and what Xie Qingcheng called the end of the relationship between normal people and normal people.
He finally reconciled with Xie Qingcheng's choice and reconciled with himself.
But I didn't expect that these were not Xie Qingcheng's sincere words.
Just a doctor's treatment, some pretty words.
Even the contract duration he told himself was fabricated.
He couldn't help but think of Xie Qingcheng and himself meeting a pair of homosexuals when they were eating in the cafeteria. At that time, they were both very uncomfortable and got up to change positions.
He was a little surprised and asked Xie Qingcheng, aren't you a doctor, why can't you watch it?
But Xie Qingcheng told him at that time that medical concepts and personal thoughts are two separate things.
As a doctor, he does believe that homosexuality does not have any psychological problems, but as Xie Qingcheng himself, he cannot accept this same-sex relationship emotionally.
So now He Yu can see it clearly.
As a doctor, Xie Qingcheng is willing to lead him to the society and treat him as a normal person.
As Xie Qingcheng, he didn't establish any relationship with him. Not only did he stay away from him - He Yu couldn't help but remember that Xie Qingcheng once asked Xie Xue to stay away from him.
Xie Qingcheng was afraid, he fled, he would rather not pay more, and let him and his relatives distance themselves from him...
He Yu leaned against the armchair and looked at everything in front of her with her face supported.
"You doctor, are you so hypocritical?"
He whispered softly, whispering to the empty white wall in front of him.
"You have such a human skin... Xie Qingcheng."
He Yu felt at this moment that what he had done before was like a joke, what restrained his heart, and what was free from the control of the disease.
In the past few years, what has he been working hard for, what is he obsessed with, and what is he believing in?
He slowly closed his eyes, in addition to the gunshot wound on his shoulder, the scar on his wrist seemed to be aching.
He thought, how could Xie Qingcheng be so hypocritical. A pair of hands covered his eyes, making him follow him ignorantly for so long.
He told him that being sick is not terrible.
He told him that if he was in pain, he could cry out and ask for candy, and no one would laugh at him.
He knocked open his hard heart word by word. He once thought that Xie Qingcheng stretched out a pair of warm hands to him, but it turned out that it was just a cold knife.
He Yu protected himself very well, but Xie Qingcheng's knife went to the depths of his heart to kill.
Sad.
He Yu lived for nineteen years, wearing a mask that fits perfectly, never telling the truth to anyone, and never getting too sincere words from others.
During these nineteen years of illness, only Xie Qingcheng asked him—
"Aren't you in pain?"
Are you not in pain...
He Yu slowly stood up from the armrest sofa, raised his hand, and pressed it against his heart.
He looked at the overwhelming icy information in front of him, like a biting blizzard blowing in front of him, he lowered his head, bowed his body, and smiled slowly...
It's interesting, he seems to really feel the terrible pain.
Is this pain?
Associated with deception, with futile effort, with his stupidity and loneliness.
If so, he would rather be numb all the time, what's wrong with being a grass? Why should you be tortured by lies?
He read page by page, one by one, line by line, word by word, every word was like a knife cutting into his heart. He thought that his heart had a thick cocoon, but at this moment, it hurt so much that even the flesh and skin didn't belong to him...not to him...
He Yu raised his hand and touched his forehead. His fingertips were cold and his limbs were numb. He knew enough. He suddenly got up and swept everything on the coffee table in front of him almost violently.
Shards crashed!
He was panting, trying to find the projection remote control, he lifted it up, he was going to close this Pandora's box-!
However…
At this moment, he saw a message belonging to Xie Xue among these nebula explosion-like messages.
Sent six years ago.
His birthday.
"Brother, Aunt Li is sick, I'm hanging out with her, when will you come back from a business trip? The procedures in the hospital are messy, my head is big, if only you were here... "
He Yu first saw this news, but felt that his mind was gently pulled by something, like a moth falling on the spider web, and he didn't react at first.
But after a few seconds, he suddenly raised his head and looked at the news in disbelief. The moth stuck with the cobweb began to struggle frantically, flapping, its wings fluttering phosphorus powder, and fanning the memory The mountain and tsunami—
Six years ago?
His birthday?
That day…
Wasn't Xie Xue with him that day? !
He Yu is really crazy.
It has been many days since the night of horror, and he has already been discharged from the hospital, but he did not tell anyone and did not return to the main house.
Now everyone is disgusting and hypocritical in his eyes. He owns a set of flats in a new property in the downtown area of Huzhou. After he got the key, he didn't go there very often. At this moment, he chose to live there alone.
When he first saw those videos of Xie Qingcheng, he was very shocked, but after he woke up, he was not reconciled.
When he calmed down in the hospital, he wondered if he had misunderstood.
Could it be that the criminal gang had ulterior motives, Xie Qingcheng's past events were taken out of context. Xie Qingcheng is not such a person.
He went home with such anticipation and last hope - he wanted to confirm it himself, and didn't want to be disturbed by anyone.
However, what he did not expect was that the things that were turned out were far more cruel than the tip of the iceberg he saw on the video.
The truth is terrible.
The deeper he looked, the sicker he got.
On the table is the medicine to control the disease. After he took a few pills, he never touched it again.
Because it doesn't work at all.
The results of his personal investigation made his inner world even more collapsed, and it was no longer something that some pills could control. His heart seemed to grow moss, and his whole body was numb. He wanted to kill and devour blood. In his eyes, morality and law suddenly became very unworthy of mention.
Also, when a mental Ebola attack occurs, life is nothing. If a person is not afraid of death, what are the social rules of the game?
He Yu was sitting on the black single arm sofa. The phone rang many times. It was a call from Xie Qingcheng with a message, but he did not answer or read it.
He just raised his eyes and looked at the whole white wall in front of him.
With a floor height of more than five meters, the walls are as wide as a huge screen in a movie theater.
At this moment, thousands of chat records are densely projected on the wall.
—this is the private sending and receiving messages of Xie Qingcheng that can be recovered from cloud traces through black technology in the past many years.
Information about He Yu.
He Yu is a top hacker, he has always had this kind of perverted ability, but he is not necessarily able to do certain things, just like there are many people in this society who have the ability to kill , but how many would become real murderers? He Yu has a clear boundary in his heart, and he has never crossed that boundary in the past.
But once you pry open the dusty door and step inside, you can see what the inside is like.
He looked cold.
Although the time interval is too long and the message recovery is incomplete, the information that can be obtained is sufficient.
From the earliest recoverable content, he saw that his father gave Xie Qingcheng a high offer and asked him to see a doctor, but Xie Qingcheng was not so willing at first, and said 3 Case No. 1 had already died, and he had a serious tendency of violent attacks before his death. Although he was very sympathetic to He Yu's experience, he really didn't want to spend time on long-term entanglements with mental Ebola patients.
"Taking care of this kind of patient is fruitless and doesn't make much sense. I want to use this time to do something more worthwhile."
He Jiwei sent him a message: "He Yu is different. He is too young, he and Case No. 3 will definitely not go the same way. You won't be unattractive, Doctor Xie, please look at my relationship with you before, and you come to our house to talk at least once. See my son. "
"Mr. He, I have other very important things to accomplish, and I don't agree with the kind of companion therapy that other doctors and you said. Maintaining a long-term relationship with a doctor will make the patient feel Relying on psychology and forcibly ending treatment at that time is like detoxification, but it is more likely to affect the patient's emotional rebound."
He Jiwei: "But I have no other way. I can only try this way."
“…”
"Doctor Xie, please take my face and see him at least once, okay?"
It was so difficult when I came here, and I asked for it.
What day?
The day I left—
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you still decide to end this job."
"Yes."
"Beyond the contract, there are still human relationships. You have always been very kind to He Yu, and sometimes you even quarrel with me for him..."
"It's the same attitude for anyone else. Because that's what I should do when I get the money."
"But He Yu is already dependent on you, you should know that."
"I told Mr. He from the beginning that long-term companion therapy will have such an impact on patients. This is actually what we expected."
He Jiwei: "Doctor Xie, you are different to him..."
Xie Qingcheng: "But to me, he is the same as all patients."
"No difference."
The conversation is not over yet.
He Jiwei said: "Xie Qingcheng, if you insist on leaving, I can't force it to stay, but even if the contract is terminated early, we originally agreed on ten years. There are some rewards, I promise you, It can’t be all fulfilled.”
Xie Qingcheng: "It's okay, I don't care."
Having said this, He Jiwei understood that it was useless to talk to Xie Qingcheng.
After being silent for a long time, his message turned into: "...then think about how to tell him, you left too suddenly, you have to find a way to make him accept it as soon as possible."
Xie Qing replied simply: "If you have no objection, Mr. He, I plan to tell him that the original term of the contract is seven years, so that he will feel more comfortable. But it also needs your cooperation. ."
“…”
"Xie Qingcheng, is there really no room for negotiation on this matter? Qin Ciyan's matter has hit you so hard, do you have to do this?"
"Mr. He, there is nothing that will never end, this is a job."
"I can't, and I've never been more emotional."
"I must leave."
"Can't wait for the contract to expire?"
"Can't."
"...Xie Qingcheng, your heart is really colder than I thought."
"That was the whitest lie to him."
The city lights outside the window flickered, the huge billboards were constantly changing, and the light reflected in He Yu's living room flowed like sparkling water waves, washing over the tens of thousands of messages projected on the wall.
Flowing water took away the lead, He Yu seemed to see Xie Qingcheng's face clearly today.
His patience, equality, acceptance with him are all false.
Even the contract period said at parting is not true.
At that time he really believed.
I wrote to Xie Qingcheng that the time is up, so I decided to leave.
So the truth is this...
Ten years.
Xie Qingcheng should have been with him until he graduated from high school.
But after the Qin Ciyan incident, Xie Qingcheng would rather cut the pay than leave him resolutely.
How scared is he?
He teamed up with He Jiwei to deceive himself, but he was still so calm, spoke the big truth with conclusiveness, and told himself that this was a normal separation in a relationship.
The truth is all presented by Xie Qing, and he is like an ignorant and vexatious clown.
Stupid...
It's all fake.
Fake!
The words of Xie Qingcheng who once supported him, gave him strength in the pain of his illness, made him struggle to protect his heart, are indeed just what a psychiatrist said to a patient.
It's like a surgeon saying to a patient with advanced cancer: "You have to keep going and there will be hope."
In fact, the doctor knew that there was no hope.
It seems that the police are persuading young people who want to commit suicide: "You are not ugly! Why do you think so? Everyone is unique, there will always be people who like you, come down quickly , give me your hand!"
But did the police really not see the ugly face and fat body of the boy who committed suicide?
That is only the most vain consolation.
Xie Qingcheng's medical concept, the concept that led him to the society, once gave him ten years of inner support, even if Xie Qingcheng finally chose to leave, He Yu did not He harbors resentment.
He tried his best to understand what Xie Qingcheng said, and what Xie Qingcheng called the end of the relationship between normal people and normal people.
He finally reconciled with Xie Qingcheng's choice and reconciled with himself.
But I didn't expect that these were not Xie Qingcheng's sincere words.
Just a doctor's treatment, some pretty words.
Even the contract duration he told himself was fabricated.
He couldn't help but think of Xie Qingcheng and himself meeting a pair of homosexuals when they were eating in the cafeteria. At that time, they were both very uncomfortable and got up to change positions.
He was a little surprised and asked Xie Qingcheng, aren't you a doctor, why can't you watch it?
But Xie Qingcheng told him at that time that medical concepts and personal thoughts are two separate things.
As a doctor, he does believe that homosexuality does not have any psychological problems, but as Xie Qingcheng himself, he cannot accept this same-sex relationship emotionally.
So now He Yu can see it clearly.
As a doctor, Xie Qingcheng is willing to lead him to the society and treat him as a normal person.
As Xie Qingcheng, he didn't establish any relationship with him. Not only did he stay away from him - He Yu couldn't help but remember that Xie Qingcheng once asked Xie Xue to stay away from him.
Xie Qingcheng was afraid, he fled, he would rather not pay more, and let him and his relatives distance themselves from him...
He Yu leaned against the armchair and looked at everything in front of her with her face supported.
"You doctor, are you so hypocritical?"
He whispered softly, whispering to the empty white wall in front of him.
"You have such a human skin... Xie Qingcheng."
He Yu felt at this moment that what he had done before was like a joke, what restrained his heart, and what was free from the control of the disease.
In the past few years, what has he been working hard for, what is he obsessed with, and what is he believing in?
He slowly closed his eyes, in addition to the gunshot wound on his shoulder, the scar on his wrist seemed to be aching.
He thought, how could Xie Qingcheng be so hypocritical. A pair of hands covered his eyes, making him follow him ignorantly for so long.
He told him that being sick is not terrible.
He told him that if he was in pain, he could cry out and ask for candy, and no one would laugh at him.
He knocked open his hard heart word by word. He once thought that Xie Qingcheng stretched out a pair of warm hands to him, but it turned out that it was just a cold knife.
He Yu protected himself very well, but Xie Qingcheng's knife went to the depths of his heart to kill.
Sad.
He Yu lived for nineteen years, wearing a mask that fits perfectly, never telling the truth to anyone, and never getting too sincere words from others.
During these nineteen years of illness, only Xie Qingcheng asked him—
"Aren't you in pain?"
Are you not in pain...
He Yu slowly stood up from the armrest sofa, raised his hand, and pressed it against his heart.
He looked at the overwhelming icy information in front of him, like a biting blizzard blowing in front of him, he lowered his head, bowed his body, and smiled slowly...
It's interesting, he seems to really feel the terrible pain.
Is this pain?
Associated with deception, with futile effort, with his stupidity and loneliness.
If so, he would rather be numb all the time, what's wrong with being a grass? Why should you be tortured by lies?
He read page by page, one by one, line by line, word by word, every word was like a knife cutting into his heart. He thought that his heart had a thick cocoon, but at this moment, it hurt so much that even the flesh and skin didn't belong to him...not to him...
He Yu raised his hand and touched his forehead. His fingertips were cold and his limbs were numb. He knew enough. He suddenly got up and swept everything on the coffee table in front of him almost violently.
Shards crashed!
He was panting, trying to find the projection remote control, he lifted it up, he was going to close this Pandora's box-!
However…
At this moment, he saw a message belonging to Xie Xue among these nebula explosion-like messages.
Sent six years ago.
His birthday.
"Brother, Aunt Li is sick, I'm hanging out with her, when will you come back from a business trip? The procedures in the hospital are messy, my head is big, if only you were here... "
He Yu first saw this news, but felt that his mind was gently pulled by something, like a moth falling on the spider web, and he didn't react at first.
But after a few seconds, he suddenly raised his head and looked at the news in disbelief. The moth stuck with the cobweb began to struggle frantically, flapping, its wings fluttering phosphorus powder, and fanning the memory The mountain and tsunami—
Six years ago?
His birthday?
That day…
Wasn't Xie Xue with him that day? !
