Chapter 122
Translator: yun
Just as the words left my lips, I heard a small cough. When my gaze shifted to capture him, I could see him covering his mouth with the back of his hand and slightly turning his head away.
Hernan blushed before looking at me again.
“W-what made you think that?”
“After thinking through a lot of things, if the duke manages to help me and benefit me, wouldn’t this be the only thing I can do for you?”
“That’s not fair!”
“Why? Do you not want me?”
“That… T-the Princess is not some object!”
He really had no thoughts of marrying me. Or perhaps I was not a good match for him to marry. Was it because I had no familial background or because I was not a templar? Was it because my face had a defect on it? It was not something I should say myself but in a lot of ways, I was not the best bride.
The people in this place treated me like a cut of meat in a butcher shop so I was already used to it. Yeah, perhaps my face or my body was not exactly everybody’s cup of tea.
“You don’t want to marry me?”
Hernan was the Crown Prince’s aide. And Castor was the man who was going to be Emperor. Thus, Hernan’s future was already bright. Even Penne said that if the duke wanted a powerless princess, no one would object or question his decision.
“I, uh.”
His sweet expression crumbled in an instant.
“I-I never even thought about it!”
“Really?”
I watched as he lowered his body so that he was looking up to me.
“… You and me? How could I?”
The man looked like he was talking about desiring something reverent and sacred. He looked like a statue praying to a god. As I stared at him, I became lost in thought.
“… Is marrying me that displeasing to you?”
Actually, I admired his persistence. He quickly fixed his expression as if nothing had happened. He looked firm.
“There’s no problem with you. I just would never dare to think I would be the one to suit you.”
“So, it’s not that you don’t like me?”
“N-no, I do like you. It’s… Uh…”
So, what was the affection he had for me? Did that mean it was not eros? The way he looked at me was filled with an unknown guilt. It must not have been the passionate feelings of romance between men and women.
The white wind was making a mess of my heart. I had always been confused whenever I looked at him.
So, it was like that.
He was a very dangerous criminal. The sins this man had committed were truly and inexplicably heinous.
But in actuality, he was a filial son who cared for his elderly mother every single day. What should I do? If it had not been for his sins, I would be admiring him.
However, the man had not changed. He had not become kind.
So, these were not feelings of affection. But it felt similar to affection. I was merely admiring him for his persistence and unwavering tenacity as he could watch over me without ever feeling tired.
“… I want to protect you. Please just let me be by your side.”
I was also human. I could not possibly avoid those eyes filled with agony every day.
He always appeared so sad but every moment with him felt like a fairytale with all our surroundings being white and pure. His eyes were as sweet as a prince on a white horse and his oaths to me were as faithful as a real knight’s. This beautiful duke could make me a real princess. Not including the day I first met Castor, I would no longer be made out of tattered shards.
“I think I should stop here.”
“Alright.”
“If I can’t come for some time, my bird will fill in for me.”
The Hernan who looked down at me coldly when I was dying and the Hernan whose eyes looked like they were dripping with honey whenever he looked at me.
He was no longer the ‘duke from the original novel’.
What the heck did that mean?
“Princess.”
As soon as I raised my head to his soft voice, a bird landed on my desk.
“Alright. Do whatever you want, duke.”
“Beautiful princess, did I offend you?”
I glanced down at him for a moment before I started speaking.
“I’m not beautiful.”
I did not like that word.
“I see.”
He gently nodded his head.
… I really had nothing to say when he was this obedient. I could not even refute him. When I met his warm gaze with him again, I turned my head away.
“As your etiquette teacher, I’m going to give you some advice. You will be abandoned by your husband. Because of that ugly face of yours.”
Things I did not want to think about came to mind again.
“… Don’t look so innocent and act like you know nothing about it. It’s not something you need to skirt around about.”
In fact, the biggest reason why everyone was so disappointed when they saw me was because of the fact that I was Auresia’s daughter. They were probably looking forward to seeing glittering gold in the treasure chest but instead, they were met with a box filled with rusting iron.
“You should know since you have eyes too. What do you mean I’m beautiful? Are you mocking me?”
“What? No, no. You’re misunderstanding me.”
He tilted his head as if he really did not understand.
“Actually, I’m not really sure what you mean because I never thought of anything to be beautiful until I met you.”
“What?”
I thought I heard him wrong.
“Every time I look at you, princess, my eyes are blinded.”
“… Blinded?”
“Yes.”
He nodded shyly.
“How can I even begin to explain the light you give off?”
… Should I find him a doctor?
If he was lying, Hernan was fit to be a swindler. But I felt like I was staring at a big puppy asking its owner what was wrong. His sky-blue eyes did not seem to contain a shred of a lie and were staring at me so directly and so softly.
“The duke is really strange.”
I was not the one Hernan should be paying attention to.
Before Rusbella showed up, the only person the duke paid attention to and remained loyal to was Castor.
I swept my face down. Was it my good or bad luck for me to receive his affection for some unknown reason?
Perhaps I was being too sensitive right now.
But he was the one who stood by me.
“Alright…”
It was so hard to be an extra in a novel with an ending I already knew. I could only hope my day to go smoothly and easily and hope that I could remain alive by the end of it.
“Stop and go.”
Would Hernan and Amor not change when Rusbella appears? I would rather they hurry and change. So I could get rid of this anxiety that starts budding whenever I look at them. I wanted them to hurry and go crazy in love.
Will they be staring at Rusbella with a sweeter gaze than this?
“Yes. I shall see you in four days.”
He smoothly bent over his waist before landing his lips on my eyelids. I blinked my eyes.
“What are you doing?”
“A templar’s [blessing].”
In this cold office, only my eyelids were warm. It was natural for there to be warmth. I was rubbing my eyes without realising it.
“Duke… what are you so happy about?”
“I’m just happy to be by your side.”
As I stared at the sun reflected in his blue eyes, something came to mind.
“I don’t know who it was but I think that templar was trying to monopolise you. They must not have thought you would be [blessed] by a templar other than them.”
On a moonlit night, Hernan told me that a kiss from a templar was considered a blessing.
‘No matter how I think about it, he’s tricking me.’
Was he going to continue doing this?
I slowly turned my head.
“… You can think however you want but don’t forget that I said that I’m using you.”
“Yes.”
As his white hair bounced around, his eyes curled up.
“If you use me, it’ll only bring me leisure.”
As I watched happiness sink into his eyes, he turned away.
“Hernan.”
His head whipped around but his gaze still captured me. I spoke uncomfortably because I was too lazy to act comfortable.
“Can you do me a favour and don’t smile like that?”
Hernan grinned.
“If that’s what you command.”
***
The day I left the Imperial palace.
My palace had been bustling with activity since the morning. From Fleon who visited me in the morning to Dane and Lord Ray who forcibly dragged him here.
“Does this even suit you?”
They sat around in my drawing room and were now the audience for my fashion show.
“She looks good in anything!!”
Just as I thought, clothes worn by commoners were simple and easy to move around in.
‘If I had a choice, I would choose to just wear this.’
It was not surprising to see how my maids follow Rebecca’s words more than mine. They realised where real power lied.
I winced before saying, “… If only my lady-in-waiting can be a little less scarier… I’m just saying this because you’re amazing, Rebecca.”
I still had quite a lot of time before I had to meet Soricks so I was changing into other clothes first.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
“The clothes… my chest is too small.”
“P-Princess!!”
Anna, the owner of these clothes, turned red before raising her voice. She then covered my mouth when she realised what she did.
“M-my apologies. How could I dare raise my voice…”
“It’s alright.”
“H-How dare I?”
“I’ll allow it.”
I smiled at the timid girl who had gotten bolder as time passed.
“Princess.”
“Yes?”
When I turned around, Lord Ray appeared before me.
“Red suits you.”
This was the first time Lord Ray brought up my appearance. He tilted his head.
‘I guess the Lord’s tastes are quite modest.’
No wonder he acted like a stone statue whenever he was around the dazzling beauty that was Rebecca. There was a reason for everything.
“Alright.”
I nodded as if I understood now.
“Then I’ll wear this from time to time just for you, Lord.”
“… Yes?”
“Is it not to your tastes? This, I mean.”
“… Through what process did your brain go through for you to think that way?”
Looking as if I was saying something stupid, he tilted his head slightly.
He winced before saying, “…It’s not the clothes…”
“It’s not?”
“No. What are you so excited about? Wearing clothes you’re not even thinking of wearing.”
Lord tried to say how the dress was too simple but he managed to change the subject once he noticed Anna.
“Today, we’re going to visit the patrols during the festival. My clothes were too uncomfortable. It’ll be hard to wash if they get dirty.”
I guess the knight who always threw fastballs could also be ‘considerate’ at times. But why was he never considerate to me?
My excuses today were perfect enough to fool even the quick-witted Dane. The loyal patrols were willing to keep our ‘outing’ a secret.
Of course that would not last long.
“Lord, you look tired.’
Lord Ray stretched his neck before nodding calmly.
“Ah, yes… a little.”
“You’ve been hanging out with Dane a lot lately, haven’t you? Did Fleon piss you off?”
“Hold on, I have been with him but why are you singling me out?”
“There’s no way Dane will be rude to you.”
I replied refreshingly.
“…..”
For some reason, Lord Ray looked like he had a lot to say. Then, he looked at Dane.
Chapter 122
Translator: yun
Just as the words left my lips, I heard a small cough. When my gaze shifted to capture him, I could see him covering his mouth with the back of his hand and slightly turning his head away.
Hernan blushed before looking at me again.
“W-what made you think that?”
“After thinking through a lot of things, if the duke manages to help me and benefit me, wouldn’t this be the only thing I can do for you?”
“That’s not fair!”
“Why? Do you not want me?”
“That… T-the Princess is not some object!”
He really had no thoughts of marrying me. Or perhaps I was not a good match for him to marry. Was it because I had no familial background or because I was not a templar? Was it because my face had a defect on it? It was not something I should say myself but in a lot of ways, I was not the best bride.
The people in this place treated me like a cut of meat in a butcher shop so I was already used to it. Yeah, perhaps my face or my body was not exactly everybody’s cup of tea.
“You don’t want to marry me?”
Hernan was the Crown Prince’s aide. And Castor was the man who was going to be Emperor. Thus, Hernan’s future was already bright. Even Penne said that if the duke wanted a powerless princess, no one would object or question his decision.
“I, uh.”
His sweet expression crumbled in an instant.
“I-I never even thought about it!”
“Really?”
I watched as he lowered his body so that he was looking up to me.
“… You and me? How could I?”
The man looked like he was talking about desiring something reverent and sacred. He looked like a statue praying to a god. As I stared at him, I became lost in thought.
“… Is marrying me that displeasing to you?”
Actually, I admired his persistence. He quickly fixed his expression as if nothing had happened. He looked firm.
“There’s no problem with you. I just would never dare to think I would be the one to suit you.”
“So, it’s not that you don’t like me?”
“N-no, I do like you. It’s… Uh…”
So, what was the affection he had for me? Did that mean it was not eros? The way he looked at me was filled with an unknown guilt. It must not have been the passionate feelings of romance between men and women.
The white wind was making a mess of my heart. I had always been confused whenever I looked at him.
So, it was like that.
He was a very dangerous criminal. The sins this man had committed were truly and inexplicably heinous.
But in actuality, he was a filial son who cared for his elderly mother every single day. What should I do? If it had not been for his sins, I would be admiring him.
However, the man had not changed. He had not become kind.
So, these were not feelings of affection. But it felt similar to affection. I was merely admiring him for his persistence and unwavering tenacity as he could watch over me without ever feeling tired.
“… I want to protect you. Please just let me be by your side.”
I was also human. I could not possibly avoid those eyes filled with agony every day.
He always appeared so sad but every moment with him felt like a fairytale with all our surroundings being white and pure. His eyes were as sweet as a prince on a white horse and his oaths to me were as faithful as a real knight’s. This beautiful duke could make me a real princess. Not including the day I first met Castor, I would no longer be made out of tattered shards.
“I think I should stop here.”
“Alright.”
“If I can’t come for some time, my bird will fill in for me.”
The Hernan who looked down at me coldly when I was dying and the Hernan whose eyes looked like they were dripping with honey whenever he looked at me.
He was no longer the ‘duke from the original novel’.
What the heck did that mean?
“Princess.”
As soon as I raised my head to his soft voice, a bird landed on my desk.
“Alright. Do whatever you want, duke.”
“Beautiful princess, did I offend you?”
I glanced down at him for a moment before I started speaking.
“I’m not beautiful.”
I did not like that word.
“I see.”
He gently nodded his head.
… I really had nothing to say when he was this obedient. I could not even refute him. When I met his warm gaze with him again, I turned my head away.
“As your etiquette teacher, I’m going to give you some advice. You will be abandoned by your husband. Because of that ugly face of yours.”
Things I did not want to think about came to mind again.
“… Don’t look so innocent and act like you know nothing about it. It’s not something you need to skirt around about.”
In fact, the biggest reason why everyone was so disappointed when they saw me was because of the fact that I was Auresia’s daughter. They were probably looking forward to seeing glittering gold in the treasure chest but instead, they were met with a box filled with rusting iron.
“You should know since you have eyes too. What do you mean I’m beautiful? Are you mocking me?”
“What? No, no. You’re misunderstanding me.”
He tilted his head as if he really did not understand.
“Actually, I’m not really sure what you mean because I never thought of anything to be beautiful until I met you.”
“What?”
I thought I heard him wrong.
“Every time I look at you, princess, my eyes are blinded.”
“… Blinded?”
“Yes.”
He nodded shyly.
“How can I even begin to explain the light you give off?”
… Should I find him a doctor?
If he was lying, Hernan was fit to be a swindler. But I felt like I was staring at a big puppy asking its owner what was wrong. His sky-blue eyes did not seem to contain a shred of a lie and were staring at me so directly and so softly.
“The duke is really strange.”
I was not the one Hernan should be paying attention to.
Before Rusbella showed up, the only person the duke paid attention to and remained loyal to was Castor.
I swept my face down. Was it my good or bad luck for me to receive his affection for some unknown reason?
Perhaps I was being too sensitive right now.
But he was the one who stood by me.
“Alright…”
It was so hard to be an extra in a novel with an ending I already knew. I could only hope my day to go smoothly and easily and hope that I could remain alive by the end of it.
“Stop and go.”
Would Hernan and Amor not change when Rusbella appears? I would rather they hurry and change. So I could get rid of this anxiety that starts budding whenever I look at them. I wanted them to hurry and go crazy in love.
Will they be staring at Rusbella with a sweeter gaze than this?
“Yes. I shall see you in four days.”
He smoothly bent over his waist before landing his lips on my eyelids. I blinked my eyes.
“What are you doing?”
“A templar’s [blessing].”
In this cold office, only my eyelids were warm. It was natural for there to be warmth. I was rubbing my eyes without realising it.
“Duke… what are you so happy about?”
“I’m just happy to be by your side.”
As I stared at the sun reflected in his blue eyes, something came to mind.
“I don’t know who it was but I think that templar was trying to monopolise you. They must not have thought you would be [blessed] by a templar other than them.”
On a moonlit night, Hernan told me that a kiss from a templar was considered a blessing.
‘No matter how I think about it, he’s tricking me.’
Was he going to continue doing this?
I slowly turned my head.
“… You can think however you want but don’t forget that I said that I’m using you.”
“Yes.”
As his white hair bounced around, his eyes curled up.
“If you use me, it’ll only bring me leisure.”
As I watched happiness sink into his eyes, he turned away.
“Hernan.”
His head whipped around but his gaze still captured me. I spoke uncomfortably because I was too lazy to act comfortable.
“Can you do me a favour and don’t smile like that?”
Hernan grinned.
“If that’s what you command.”
***
The day I left the Imperial palace.
My palace had been bustling with activity since the morning. From Fleon who visited me in the morning to Dane and Lord Ray who forcibly dragged him here.
“Does this even suit you?”
They sat around in my drawing room and were now the audience for my fashion show.
“She looks good in anything!!”
Just as I thought, clothes worn by commoners were simple and easy to move around in.
‘If I had a choice, I would choose to just wear this.’
It was not surprising to see how my maids follow Rebecca’s words more than mine. They realised where real power lied.
I winced before saying, “… If only my lady-in-waiting can be a little less scarier… I’m just saying this because you’re amazing, Rebecca.”
I still had quite a lot of time before I had to meet Soricks so I was changing into other clothes first.
“What’s wrong, princess?”
“The clothes… my chest is too small.”
“P-Princess!!”
Anna, the owner of these clothes, turned red before raising her voice. She then covered my mouth when she realised what she did.
“M-my apologies. How could I dare raise my voice…”
“It’s alright.”
“H-How dare I?”
“I’ll allow it.”
I smiled at the timid girl who had gotten bolder as time passed.
“Princess.”
“Yes?”
When I turned around, Lord Ray appeared before me.
“Red suits you.”
This was the first time Lord Ray brought up my appearance. He tilted his head.
‘I guess the Lord’s tastes are quite modest.’
No wonder he acted like a stone statue whenever he was around the dazzling beauty that was Rebecca. There was a reason for everything.
“Alright.”
I nodded as if I understood now.
“Then I’ll wear this from time to time just for you, Lord.”
“… Yes?”
“Is it not to your tastes? This, I mean.”
“… Through what process did your brain go through for you to think that way?”
Looking as if I was saying something stupid, he tilted his head slightly.
He winced before saying, “…It’s not the clothes…”
“It’s not?”
“No. What are you so excited about? Wearing clothes you’re not even thinking of wearing.”
Lord tried to say how the dress was too simple but he managed to change the subject once he noticed Anna.
“Today, we’re going to visit the patrols during the festival. My clothes were too uncomfortable. It’ll be hard to wash if they get dirty.”
I guess the knight who always threw fastballs could also be ‘considerate’ at times. But why was he never considerate to me?
My excuses today were perfect enough to fool even the quick-witted Dane. The loyal patrols were willing to keep our ‘outing’ a secret.
Of course that would not last long.
“Lord, you look tired.’
Lord Ray stretched his neck before nodding calmly.
“Ah, yes… a little.”
“You’ve been hanging out with Dane a lot lately, haven’t you? Did Fleon piss you off?”
“Hold on, I have been with him but why are you singling me out?”
“There’s no way Dane will be rude to you.”
I replied refreshingly.
“…..”
For some reason, Lord Ray looked like he had a lot to say. Then, he looked at Dane.
