Chapter 188
Translator: yun
“Dane, I overheard that you’re the one protecting the desert princess?”
Overcoming death only brought her new crises and deaths to deal with. Being able to wake up everyday was like a miracle to her. Her life was as turbulent as a rollercoaster in an amusement park and she had accepted it.
‘I’m not going to die.’
She raised her head.
“Why are you the one taking care of her? Why did you take Ahasia away?”
Dane was in front of her.
“Dane, you always talked about how you wanted to live your life in peace. I’m sure you’re already aware but the delegation that is arriving here soon is her enemy– oof.”
“Ashley.”
His finger touched her lips. With her mouth now blocked, Ashley widened her eyes.
As they slowly locked gazes, Dane curled his eyes before removing his finger.
“You know, Autoreia listens in the day and Suisreli listens in the day, right?” (1)
He was referring to the Goddess of the Morning and the God of thieves respectively. He was trying to say that there were ears in the palace.
‘It’s not safe here.’
The place they were in right now was the Central Palace which had the greatest volume of people coming and going. Weren’t they standing right in the middle of a pathway? When Ashley realised her mistake, she nodded.
However, there was still something she couldn’t understand.
“Why?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Did you have to–There could’ve been a way to handle this… without you having to expose yourself.”
The desert princess was now an important figure in bridging relations between the desert and the Empire.
‘If what Granius and Penne heard was true, then…’
She raised her head.
What Dane had in his hands might be a bomb. No, it could be a bomb that both nations were holding.
“Granius clearly told me that the princess would be under his protection so I don’t know why your name was mentioned in the official announcement. The desert princess will only become a headache in the future.”
Why did someone with the status of a princess travel across the desert alone and away from her delegation? If anyone just bothered to think about it a little, they would arrive at the answer.
“Just as you mentioned, we can’t discuss the details here but things are a mess in the desert right now.”
Still, it was undeniable that the desert nation was going to be a headache along with Ahasia who brought her nations’s problems along with her when she arrived here.
This meant that the desert nation’s issues might blow up in the Empire. Honestly, even with the risk of detonation, Ashley had to approach the bomb. Whether she liked it or not, she had no choice but to get herself involved with the desert princess.
But Dane was different.
“You know… Ashley, it’s because I know who would be danger if I hadn’t stepped up.”
Dane, who seldomly stumbled over his words, spoke with a gorgeous expression on his face.
“It’s you.”
Dane lowered his voice.
“… I know that too.”
“No, you don’t. I’m not okay with it.”
He looked uncomfortable.
“I’m worried about you.”
His overcast expression did not sit well with Ashley.
“Can’t I help you?”
His words carried some sentimental depth. She stared back at the eyes that were as red as a camellia.
“Dane, I’m not telling you to stop helping me. I’m just saying that there was no need for you to take such risks, If you end up in danger because of me, I…”
“You?”
Dane took one step towards her. For some reason, Ashley, too, took a few steps back unknowingly.
‘Oh? Why did I retreat?’
Dane looked a little surprised as well, as if he hadn’t expected her to do that.
“No, no… I can never let someone get themselves in danger because of me. It’s best if only I got hurt. And I’m already quite used to it…”
“Used to what?”
“That, well, you already know that I’ve gone through numerous crises, right?”
She could tell that what she was saying sounded like gibberish but she tried to continue chatting brightly.
“Yeah. You did mention it before. But still, Ashley, I wonder why?”
His clear eyes, the way the corners of his lips curled beautifully and his wavy brown hair were all parts of Dane that she was used to but she wondered why she couldn’t get used to their height difference. Before she knew it, he had gotten much taller than her. She wouldn’t have been able to see her face unless Dane lowered his body.
“I don’t think that’s how you mentioned it before. Or am I mistaken?”
Hoping that nothing showed on her face, the girl tried to reply calmly.
“… What’s not the same?”
“Your smile is brighter now and you’re fidgeting more though you’re still as pretty as always.”
In whatever memory she recalled of him, when something happened to someone, the one who found out first was always Dane. He was so sweet that he could detect the slightest change in her and adjust his actions accordingly.
“And that’s what you found strange?”
She didn’t say “That’s what you found strange too?” on purpose. There were too many words she couldn’t bring herself to say.
People were telling her that she was acting strange. They thought she was being strange for not acting the way she was before.
Of course, she knew that their concern stemmed from their love for her but sometimes, she felt as if they were denying her present self.
‘Can’t I continue living as my present self?’
There were times when Fleon’s sensitivity and Ray’s attentiveness made her sad and feel left out. Unable to hold it back anymore, the girl spoke her truth.
“What do you think? What do you think of the me now?”
It was enough for others to sense it so Dane must have sensed it too.
‘Though I didn’t think he’d be able to tell after exchanging just a few words with me.’
The way he approached it was so intriguing and sweet that for the first time, Ashley had asked him for the truth.
“Ashley. Do you like the you now?”
With a kind and gentle expression that never changed, he looked as if he had a halo of a setting spring sun over his head.
“I do.”
She nodded.
‘I had always liked myself.’
Her scar, her body that never grew and her powerlessness might have drawn mockery but she never hated herself.
Even if she had lost her memories and along with it, an important part of her.
“Then, I like you too.”
The girl’s head shot up. Her trail of thoughts had been cut off and painted white by the smile that was in front of her.
“As long as you’re here, I’m fine with anything, Ashley.”
They weren’t fighting, she wasn’t angry and she wasn’t sad. She felt refreshed like she had just drank a cool can of beer and cozy like she was burying herself in a new blanket on her bed.
“As long as you think you’re alright.”
Everything was alright.
“Whatever had changed, you’re still here, aren’t you?”
She felt comforted by those ordinarily insignificant words.
She closed her eyes.
“Dane, are you free tomorrow?”
She said she was fine but when she looked at Dane who accompanied her back to her palace…
‘Did he grow taller?’
azing at her thin arms and bony fingers, she sighed inwardly.
‘Why am I not growing even though I’m in puberty?’
In the meantime, Dane had grown so big.
“No matter how busy I am, I always have time for you, Ashley.”
… She was begging him. He should leave such sweet words for his future girlfriend but Ashley swallowed the words rushing up her throat.
And she was sure that if she mentioned it, more honey bombs would fall.
She didn’t want to die young from a premature heart attack.
“Alright. I’ll send a letter.”
“Hold on.”
When she was about to just leave, he suddenly grabbed onto her shoulder so that she couldn’t move.
Ashley widened her eyes.
“D-Dane?”
Even though she called out his name, he only replied with a chuckle. What he said after was a little surprising because he sounded like he was teasing her which was not like him.
“Still, Ashley.”
“Y-yeah”
“You’ve requested Fleon and Ray to be your patronus.”
He whispered into her ears. Ashley’s shoulders were trembling.
He leaned against the railing. Suddenly, the once subtle scent of flowers grew in intensity till it surrounded her with no way to escape.
When she looked up, all she could see were his slender jaw and neck.
“Why haven’t you asked me yet?”
His hand slid down to her waist.
“H-hold on.”
The girl’s senses were dulled by his voice and his handsome face. A handsome man like him whom she had never imagined she would get to see in her lifetime, had thrown her instincts into a coffin and closed the lid shut.
‘I think I just achieved every woman’s dream of receiving a back hug.’
In a turn of events, her dream of romance had finally come true but what should she do now? She asked herself.
Fortunately, without saying another word, Dane released her and backed off but not before kissing her cheek.
“… Ah.”
His hands fit into hers just slightly and he flashed her a gentle smile. While she was flustered by his curled eyes, Dane had no reaction.
“Let me know if you ever change your mind.”
“…..”
“I’ll get going now.”
That was it. As if he had already known her answer, as if he had anticipated her reaction, Ashley was left speechless and could only continue to stare at his disappearing figure.
***
A few days later, Ashley received an invitation from the Prince of Walter. Was this about what they talked about a few days ago? She had no choice but to hear him out so she started preparing herself to leave her palace.
It was still early in the morning.
While she pondered over where to place her diary before leaving, the white robes hanging on the wooden hanger caught her eye.
‘Two days to go.’
How should she put it?
‘Two days before CSATs? Two days before the final round of interviews?’
The tension she was feeling was similar but there was more weighing on this.
Honestly, at this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if the tyrant were to suddenly decide to kill her off. Actually, if it was him, that could happen. Right, she still had to continue watching out for his mood changes and make sure she doesn’t go against him.
Furthermore, considering the fact that this was her life she was talking about, her heart could only feel heavy while her hands were sweating bullets.
No longer wanting to think about the tyrant anymore, she looked away from the clothes and fixed her eyes on something outside the window.
The dazzlingly clear sky seemed to be welcoming her.
‘The weather is gorgeous today.’
Staring at the clear and refreshing sky, she lowered her head and smiled to herself.
She liked sunny days.
‘Since I managed to live until now, wouldn’t I be able to survive in the future as well?’
Unsolicited optimism occupied her mind. Not knowing her optimism was a result of her amnesia, the girl turned her head away and left the room without any regrets.
Life doesn’t always go the way people want or the way they think it would go.
Anyways, that might be the way it was for everyone but she needed some explanation for what she was seeing in front of her.
“Why can’t I? Why not? Why?”
It was the same on TV. Any problematic child was a result of psychological trauma dealt by their parents or bad parenting.
So then, was the tantrum the grown prince was throwing a result of how he was raised when he was young?
‘Right, that has to be it.’
Ashley tried not to look drained.
Glancing over, it looked like she wasn’t the only one.
‘She heard it perfectly this time, right?’
She smiled at Ahasia whom she made eye contact with before turning away.
“My prince, my apologies but I don’t think I can do that.”
“Why? You said that you would do me a favour?”
“But you didn’t tell me you would send me such a haphazard invitation. The invitation stated that it would start at 12 so why did you make me come so early?”
“That’s because I heard that the princess had left her palace in a hurry.”
Next to her. Dane’s smile deepened without a word.
‘He heard?’
There must have been someone spreading the small details of the princess’ life.
‘And to the prince of another country.’
Chapter 188
Translator: yun
“Dane, I overheard that you’re the one protecting the desert princess?”
Overcoming death only brought her new crises and deaths to deal with. Being able to wake up everyday was like a miracle to her. Her life was as turbulent as a rollercoaster in an amusement park and she had accepted it.
‘I’m not going to die.’
She raised her head.
“Why are you the one taking care of her? Why did you take Ahasia away?”
Dane was in front of her.
“Dane, you always talked about how you wanted to live your life in peace. I’m sure you’re already aware but the delegation that is arriving here soon is her enemy– oof.”
“Ashley.”
His finger touched her lips. With her mouth now blocked, Ashley widened her eyes.
As they slowly locked gazes, Dane curled his eyes before removing his finger.
“You know, Autoreia listens in the day and Suisreli listens in the day, right?” (1)
He was referring to the Goddess of the Morning and the God of thieves respectively. He was trying to say that there were ears in the palace.
‘It’s not safe here.’
The place they were in right now was the Central Palace which had the greatest volume of people coming and going. Weren’t they standing right in the middle of a pathway? When Ashley realised her mistake, she nodded.
However, there was still something she couldn’t understand.
“Why?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Did you have to–There could’ve been a way to handle this… without you having to expose yourself.”
The desert princess was now an important figure in bridging relations between the desert and the Empire.
‘If what Granius and Penne heard was true, then…’
She raised her head.
What Dane had in his hands might be a bomb. No, it could be a bomb that both nations were holding.
“Granius clearly told me that the princess would be under his protection so I don’t know why your name was mentioned in the official announcement. The desert princess will only become a headache in the future.”
Why did someone with the status of a princess travel across the desert alone and away from her delegation? If anyone just bothered to think about it a little, they would arrive at the answer.
“Just as you mentioned, we can’t discuss the details here but things are a mess in the desert right now.”
Still, it was undeniable that the desert nation was going to be a headache along with Ahasia who brought her nations’s problems along with her when she arrived here.
This meant that the desert nation’s issues might blow up in the Empire. Honestly, even with the risk of detonation, Ashley had to approach the bomb. Whether she liked it or not, she had no choice but to get herself involved with the desert princess.
But Dane was different.
“You know… Ashley, it’s because I know who would be danger if I hadn’t stepped up.”
Dane, who seldomly stumbled over his words, spoke with a gorgeous expression on his face.
“It’s you.”
Dane lowered his voice.
“… I know that too.”
“No, you don’t. I’m not okay with it.”
He looked uncomfortable.
“I’m worried about you.”
His overcast expression did not sit well with Ashley.
“Can’t I help you?”
His words carried some sentimental depth. She stared back at the eyes that were as red as a camellia.
“Dane, I’m not telling you to stop helping me. I’m just saying that there was no need for you to take such risks, If you end up in danger because of me, I…”
“You?”
Dane took one step towards her. For some reason, Ashley, too, took a few steps back unknowingly.
‘Oh? Why did I retreat?’
Dane looked a little surprised as well, as if he hadn’t expected her to do that.
“No, no… I can never let someone get themselves in danger because of me. It’s best if only I got hurt. And I’m already quite used to it…”
“Used to what?”
“That, well, you already know that I’ve gone through numerous crises, right?”
She could tell that what she was saying sounded like gibberish but she tried to continue chatting brightly.
“Yeah. You did mention it before. But still, Ashley, I wonder why?”
His clear eyes, the way the corners of his lips curled beautifully and his wavy brown hair were all parts of Dane that she was used to but she wondered why she couldn’t get used to their height difference. Before she knew it, he had gotten much taller than her. She wouldn’t have been able to see her face unless Dane lowered his body.
“I don’t think that’s how you mentioned it before. Or am I mistaken?”
Hoping that nothing showed on her face, the girl tried to reply calmly.
“… What’s not the same?”
“Your smile is brighter now and you’re fidgeting more though you’re still as pretty as always.”
In whatever memory she recalled of him, when something happened to someone, the one who found out first was always Dane. He was so sweet that he could detect the slightest change in her and adjust his actions accordingly.
“And that’s what you found strange?”
She didn’t say “That’s what you found strange too?” on purpose. There were too many words she couldn’t bring herself to say.
People were telling her that she was acting strange. They thought she was being strange for not acting the way she was before.
Of course, she knew that their concern stemmed from their love for her but sometimes, she felt as if they were denying her present self.
‘Can’t I continue living as my present self?’
There were times when Fleon’s sensitivity and Ray’s attentiveness made her sad and feel left out. Unable to hold it back anymore, the girl spoke her truth.
“What do you think? What do you think of the me now?”
It was enough for others to sense it so Dane must have sensed it too.
‘Though I didn’t think he’d be able to tell after exchanging just a few words with me.’
The way he approached it was so intriguing and sweet that for the first time, Ashley had asked him for the truth.
“Ashley. Do you like the you now?”
With a kind and gentle expression that never changed, he looked as if he had a halo of a setting spring sun over his head.
“I do.”
She nodded.
‘I had always liked myself.’
Her scar, her body that never grew and her powerlessness might have drawn mockery but she never hated herself.
Even if she had lost her memories and along with it, an important part of her.
“Then, I like you too.”
The girl’s head shot up. Her trail of thoughts had been cut off and painted white by the smile that was in front of her.
“As long as you’re here, I’m fine with anything, Ashley.”
They weren’t fighting, she wasn’t angry and she wasn’t sad. She felt refreshed like she had just drank a cool can of beer and cozy like she was burying herself in a new blanket on her bed.
“As long as you think you’re alright.”
Everything was alright.
“Whatever had changed, you’re still here, aren’t you?”
She felt comforted by those ordinarily insignificant words.
She closed her eyes.
“Dane, are you free tomorrow?”
She said she was fine but when she looked at Dane who accompanied her back to her palace…
‘Did he grow taller?’
azing at her thin arms and bony fingers, she sighed inwardly.
‘Why am I not growing even though I’m in puberty?’
In the meantime, Dane had grown so big.
“No matter how busy I am, I always have time for you, Ashley.”
… She was begging him. He should leave such sweet words for his future girlfriend but Ashley swallowed the words rushing up her throat.
And she was sure that if she mentioned it, more honey bombs would fall.
She didn’t want to die young from a premature heart attack.
“Alright. I’ll send a letter.”
“Hold on.”
When she was about to just leave, he suddenly grabbed onto her shoulder so that she couldn’t move.
Ashley widened her eyes.
“D-Dane?”
Even though she called out his name, he only replied with a chuckle. What he said after was a little surprising because he sounded like he was teasing her which was not like him.
“Still, Ashley.”
“Y-yeah”
“You’ve requested Fleon and Ray to be your patronus.”
He whispered into her ears. Ashley’s shoulders were trembling.
He leaned against the railing. Suddenly, the once subtle scent of flowers grew in intensity till it surrounded her with no way to escape.
When she looked up, all she could see were his slender jaw and neck.
“Why haven’t you asked me yet?”
His hand slid down to her waist.
“H-hold on.”
The girl’s senses were dulled by his voice and his handsome face. A handsome man like him whom she had never imagined she would get to see in her lifetime, had thrown her instincts into a coffin and closed the lid shut.
‘I think I just achieved every woman’s dream of receiving a back hug.’
In a turn of events, her dream of romance had finally come true but what should she do now? She asked herself.
Fortunately, without saying another word, Dane released her and backed off but not before kissing her cheek.
“… Ah.”
His hands fit into hers just slightly and he flashed her a gentle smile. While she was flustered by his curled eyes, Dane had no reaction.
“Let me know if you ever change your mind.”
“…..”
“I’ll get going now.”
That was it. As if he had already known her answer, as if he had anticipated her reaction, Ashley was left speechless and could only continue to stare at his disappearing figure.
***
A few days later, Ashley received an invitation from the Prince of Walter. Was this about what they talked about a few days ago? She had no choice but to hear him out so she started preparing herself to leave her palace.
It was still early in the morning.
While she pondered over where to place her diary before leaving, the white robes hanging on the wooden hanger caught her eye.
‘Two days to go.’
How should she put it?
‘Two days before CSATs? Two days before the final round of interviews?’
The tension she was feeling was similar but there was more weighing on this.
Honestly, at this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if the tyrant were to suddenly decide to kill her off. Actually, if it was him, that could happen. Right, she still had to continue watching out for his mood changes and make sure she doesn’t go against him.
Furthermore, considering the fact that this was her life she was talking about, her heart could only feel heavy while her hands were sweating bullets.
No longer wanting to think about the tyrant anymore, she looked away from the clothes and fixed her eyes on something outside the window.
The dazzlingly clear sky seemed to be welcoming her.
‘The weather is gorgeous today.’
Staring at the clear and refreshing sky, she lowered her head and smiled to herself.
She liked sunny days.
‘Since I managed to live until now, wouldn’t I be able to survive in the future as well?’
Unsolicited optimism occupied her mind. Not knowing her optimism was a result of her amnesia, the girl turned her head away and left the room without any regrets.
Life doesn’t always go the way people want or the way they think it would go.
Anyways, that might be the way it was for everyone but she needed some explanation for what she was seeing in front of her.
“Why can’t I? Why not? Why?”
It was the same on TV. Any problematic child was a result of psychological trauma dealt by their parents or bad parenting.
So then, was the tantrum the grown prince was throwing a result of how he was raised when he was young?
‘Right, that has to be it.’
Ashley tried not to look drained.
Glancing over, it looked like she wasn’t the only one.
‘She heard it perfectly this time, right?’
She smiled at Ahasia whom she made eye contact with before turning away.
“My prince, my apologies but I don’t think I can do that.”
“Why? You said that you would do me a favour?”
“But you didn’t tell me you would send me such a haphazard invitation. The invitation stated that it would start at 12 so why did you make me come so early?”
“That’s because I heard that the princess had left her palace in a hurry.”
Next to her. Dane’s smile deepened without a word.
‘He heard?’
There must have been someone spreading the small details of the princess’ life.
‘And to the prince of another country.’
