Chapter 47: 47
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"...it's been forty-three days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...it's been forty-three days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...it's been forty-three da-."
"Kuro...Kuro, snap out of it!"
I opened my eyes, startled out of my trance...oh, that's right...I was...I was...
"Wha...what the hell...," I whispered shakily, my body trembling and breaking out into a cold sweat.
It was so fresh in my mind...that sickening sterile smell, the feel of scalpels and a variety of other operating tools cutting into me and moving around my insides, the various serums injected into me...what the hell...
I know that was just my memories updating, all of this had already happened...
But in my head right now, it was my present not my past...so as I opened my eyes, seeing Persia's face in front of me instead cold-eyed old men in lab coats...I felt like I had just escaped hell.
"Hey, tell me...how did I die?"
"Oh, no...I'm so sorry, I should have warned you in advance for the final six hours...it completely slipped my mind-!" She cried, her face wracked with guilt.
"...no, it's fine, there's nothing I'm blaming you for...do I...do I really have to go through all that for three whole years?"
She didn't say anything for a while, before silently nodding and began explaining what the me of this world had told her about how my life would end.
...
...
"...heh, I'm starting to see why the me in this world can bear pain so well...Jesus Christ, three whole years of that...? Does the me in this world actually have his sanity intact? I think I might already be losing my grip on mine...and it's only been a little over seven weeks...I can't even imagine what kind of state of mind I'll be in after three years of this."
The other three had woken up, and were staring at me with concern.
"Um...is there anything you want to do, to help take your mind off of it? A distraction might be good for you right now."
Something I wanna do, huh?
The only thoughts in my head were flashes of torture, the number of days it had been going on, and the types of experimentations that I had gone through...by keeping track of those, I was able to retain my ability to still have at least somewhat rational thoughts...but it wasn't very stable.
I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to get rid of these thoughts and memories...
"...knock me out. I don't want to stay awake anymore, all I can think about and see is...pain. Knock me out at least until these two hours are up...maybe the me a year from now will be more mentally resilient," I requested, as my shoulders slumped.
"Um...I don't think-."
"Look, if you don't want to, that's fine...I'm perfectly capable of knocking myself out- H-hey!" I began, before exclaiming as Persia hugged me tightly.
What was she...?
...
...
...I felt a bit calmer.
"If it's really that unbearable, then okay...I'll do it, if that's what you want," She said softly, stroking my cheek gently.
No one has ever been this nice to me...it was strange, but I didn't dislike it in the slightest.
"...I do. I-I do feel a bit better now...but it's so vivid in my mind, all of it...I just want to get it out of my head, I don't want to think about it anymore, it feels like it's breaking me apart," I replied quietly.
After a brief silence, she reluctantly nodded, before delivering a swift chop to the back of my neck, as my vision and consciousness slowly faded...
...
...
...I was back in the lab...
...
...
...oh, I see...my memories must be updating again
...
...it's been sixty-three days...today I got dissected once, electrocuted four times, and had five injections...
...
...
...it's been a hundred and fifty days...today I got dissected thrice, electrocuted two times, and had three injections...
...
...they're still going at it...
...
...it's been three hundred and five days...today I didn't get dissected, I got electrocuted four times, and had one injections...what's left of my body is starting to get deformed and mutated thanks to the serums they were injecting...
...
...aren't they bored of doing this yet...
...
...I want to kill them so bad...
...
...in the most painful ways possible...
...
...hey, you know what...it doesn't really hurt anymore...
...
...it barely even stings...
...I wish...
...
...I wish I could kill them...
...
...it's been four hundred and eight days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...I no longer have arms, and what remains of my body is a mutated mess...
...
...I want to kill them...
...
...
I woke up with a terrified gasp, my heart pounding like a drum, as sweat poured down my face.
Oh...that's right.
I looked down at my body...no deformities...I still have my arms...I still have my vision and hearing intact...a blinding rage was flowing through me...I wanted to kill the men who had been torturing me...but they're not in this world...where do I direct all this hatred?
I wanted to kill so badly right now...
"Oh, you're awake," Someone snapped me out of my rapidly darkening thoughts, as I turned to see who it was.
"Oh...Key. What...time is it?" I asked, rubbing my head.
It felt strange...to be able to move and talk...is this a dream, or was the torture a dream...it was starting to get harder and harder to tell which one was reality...
"It's been about forty-five minutes since you last grew...you have three hours and a bit left before you'll be back to normal," She answered, before adding, "Are you alright? You look drained."
"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Where's, um...," I began to ask.
"Persia went to buy some food, she should be back any minute now. As for the other two...uh, well...they woke up again, smoked more weed, and then went straight back to sleep," She explained, nodding at the two passed out figures on the bed.
"...hey, tell me something. What am I like in this world? I mean...do I seem sane? Right now, all I can think of is getting revenge in the most brutal and violent way imaginable...but the ones I want to get revenge on don't even exist in this world...I find it hard to believe that I was able to move on from all this...sheer hatred and am perfectly normal and sane."
Yeah...especially since I apparently had more than a year left of this torture...
"Let's see...you're strong and skilled, and you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders, as in you're good at adapting and being proactive or efficient. You do seem to kinda like killing, but you always look to kill in a single strike, even with monsters, I've never seen you deliberately inflict pain before killing. You can be a bit annoying and cocky at times, but you never seemed to have any sanity issues, at least as far as I could tell," She replied, after thinking it over for a bit.
That sounded...just like how I was before I was captured as a lab rat...so, when I died, I had seriously just reverted back to the way I had been before the torture?
That can't be right...
The door then swung open and Persia walked in, carrying a brown paper bag. She looked surprised to see me awake, before quickly hurrying over to me.
"Hey...are you feeling okay?" She asked in a gentle tone, sitting next to me and holding my hand.
"I...want to kill something. Humans, or I guess monsters will do too, it doesn't matter...I need to get all this out of my system...I feel like I'll lose my mind if I don't kill something," I replied shakily, struggling to contain my murderous impulses.
I was beginning to feel restless, as rage and violent urges began welling up inside me every time I remembered my torture. I wonder if I had just freaked her ou-.
"Okay...let's go to the Goblin cave area, they're weak enough that it shouldn't be a problem even without your Lightning Magic. But first, why don't you have something to eat? I bought some strawberry jam-filled buns," Suggested Persia, opening the paper bag and taking out a bun from it.
Despite my obvious bloodthirstiness, she didn't so much as bat an eye...
"No...I'm not particularly hungry, I don't want to eat anything, I just want to k- mfph...!" I began, interrupted as she broke off a piece of the bun and put it in my mouth.
.
.
.
It tasted...so good.
I felt a wave of emotions wash over me as I chewed on it...
...what is this...why am I so...?
Oh, that's right...I hadn't eaten any real food over the last four hundred and eight days of my current memories...my body was being kept alive using IVs and liquid nutrients...I can't remember the last time I actually tasted something...
Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the bun from her and ravenously chomped into it, devouring it in seconds. I grabbed another one from the paper bag, biting into it hungrily...tears were pouring down my face as I savored the taste, the sweetness that was almost overwhelming my taste buds, but I couldn't stop..
Before I knew it, I had finished the entire bag. I hadn't even been that hungry, but...but I just couldn't get enough of the sensation of taste...
"Don't want to eat anything, huh?" Smiled Persia, stroking my head.
"...sorry, I ate all of it."
"It's okay, I'm glad you enjoyed them...oh, you've got some jam on your face...," She pointed out on the corner of my mouth, before quickly leaning in and licking it off before I could wipe it.
"C-cut it out...," I mumbled, my face turning red.
She's not afraid of me at all...
"So...do you still want me to take you to the Goblin area? If you're feeling better, we can do something els-."
"No, let's go...I do feel better, but...I can't shake these feelings. Revenge may not be possible, but I still feel like I need to take all this out on...something."
After a brief silence, she spoke up.
"Okay, then...let's go. You wanna come too, Key?"
"Oh, uh...sure, I don't mind," She responded a bit awkwardly, having been quiet the whole time I'd been ravenously stuffing my face.
Rai and Azyl was too deep asleep to be woken up, so we left them behind.
First, we stopped by the inn I stay at, as well as Persia's place, in order to get a couple of cards that we need to present in order to be allowed to leave the country gates.
After that, we made our way to the gates, exited, and walked for a bit...until we reached a rocky clearing with a large cave entrance near it.
I had about twenty minutes left before my next 'update', and then just two more hours before I'm back to normal.
Whatever 'normal' might be...
A couple of short, green humanoid monsters peeked out before running back into the caves.
"Those are Goblins? They sure do seem afraid," I remarked, as I drew out the short-sword and dagger, heading into the cave.
They looked just like the Goblins in animes and fantasy shows, this might be fun.
I could feel my bloodlust growing rapidly, in a more feral and violent manner than I'd ever felt before...
"Apparently, you've killed them so many times that these days, they run away the moment they see you, at least the ones in this particular area," Explained Key, as we walked into the cave.
Oh? That was pretty cool.
We hadn't gone more than a few steps inside when I heard a slight rustling to my left, quickly turning my attention towards it.
At first glance it looked like a shadow, but upon closer inspection...I noticed that it was a small crevice. I walked over to it, to find a Goblin huddled in it, growling and cowering as it saw me approaching.
"Kuro? What is it?" Called out Persia.
"Found one."
Its hands trembled as it gripped a rusty knife and sprang at me, driving the blade towards me. I stepped aside, evading the wild thrust.
Heh, stupid monster...do you really think you can hurt me...?
I'll show you...
As a wave of sadistic bloodlust uncontrollably washed over me, I drove my dagger into its shoulder from behind as it fell on its front, before violently twisting the blade, the monster letting out a shriek of pain.
Hm, there was no blood, that's a bit off-putting...but oh, well...I can still work with this...
I then pulled back the dagger and stabbed its other shoulder, followed by its knees, rapidly twisting the blade 180 degrees each time...
A wide smile began to spread out across my face as the monster continued to howl in pain.
Aw, is that all you can take? Come on...I'm just getting started here!
It suddenly turned to dust as I began to plunge my dagger back down again, my blade hitting rock as it vanished.
"What the...?"
Oh, wait...I think Persia mentioned that monsters don't die, they simply respawn.
I turned to look at the other two...
Key looked a bit shaken, and averted her gaze as I looked at her. Oh, I see...I must have freaked them out...
"Shall we keep going?" A warm, comforting hand placed itself on my shoulder.
I looked up at her in surprise, as she smiled at me and pulled me back on my feet.
"Hm? What's wrong?" She asked, ruffling my hair.
She seemed so...unfazed. And it didn't seem like she was acting. I don't understand her at all...
"...it's nothing. Let's go," I mumbled in reply, my violent urges calming down a bit.
As we headed further in, I could clearly see that my display earlier had rattled Key...but Persia seemed fine.
I watched her closely...but she didn't seem to be faking it, she was genuinely unaffected by how brutal I'd been. It was strange and hard to comprehend...because even I was surprised by how much I'd enjoyed myself just now.
It was the first time that my primary goal had been inflicting pain over actually killing my target.
I then spotted some movement ahead of us and shot forward towards it eagerly, as my bloodlust took over again.
Four Goblins...
They began to turn and run as they spotted me approaching, I quickly flung needles soaked in a fluid from a bottle labeled 'Confusion' I'd found in one of my, or this world's version of me's, pouches.
They all fell over as the needles pierced them, flailing wildly and desperately. Their movements looked very strange and unnatural.
Oh, I get it...
"Oh, 'Confusion', as in it messes up the transmissions through your nervous system...heh," I smiled widely in anticipation as I slowly poked my sword into one of their eyes, "Ouch, that looks painful..."
It howled in pain, its limbs desperately flailing to get up...
Over the next five minutes, I proceeded to slice, stab and cut them over and over, making sure not to hit anything vital so that they'd stay alive...
At one point I thought I heard the sound of maniacal chuckling...until I realized that I was the one chuckling, as I put the monsters in front of me through hell and then some.
Eventually, I ran out of things to do to them and stood up with a bored sigh, charging up a bolt of lightning in my hand to finish them off. I shot it at their mutilated, barely-alive bodies, incinerating them in an instant. Heh...magic is pretty awesome.
Oh, if only I had these powers to use against my torturers, I could-!
I tensed up as someone placed their hand on my shoulder, nearly slashing at them out of instinct, just barely restraining myself.
"Are you okay, Kuro? Wanna keep going, or shall we take a break?" Asked Persia, as my bloodlust eased up again.
Key was keeping her distance, I could sense her unease towards me. Her reaction was perfectly warranted in this situation, though.
"Hey..."
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Why are you so unfazed by me? I mean, just look at her, she's totally freaked out and keeping her distance...heck, even I'm a bit disturbed by how fucking sadistic and psychotic I'm being right now! So, then...why are you so-?"
She cut me off with a gentle hug, stroking the back of my head.
"Take it easy...no matter what you do, you aren't going to scare me, you know. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, or comprehend the horrors of your most recent memories. So, if taking all of that out on some Goblins makes you feel better and helps you forget at least a little...I'm certainly not going to judge you on how you go about doing that," She whispered in a slow, reassuring tone...
She's so...
...so...
...so amazing.
I see...she must be a big reason why the me of this world seems to be so...mentally stable.
"...how long do I have left before I grow again?"
"Um...let's see," Replied Persia, pulling out a small mechanical clock, "Oh, just a few minutes...shouldn't be too lo-."
"Before that happens, you have to restrain me or something! I can't even imagine how much more deranged and maniacal I'll be after another whole year of this," I urged her, before adding, "I...I-I don't want to end up hurting you..."
"I'll take my chances, and trust that you won't do a thing to hurt me. Sorry, but I'm not going to tie you up or anything like that," She immediately refused.
I could tell from the look in her eye that she wasn't going to back down. In that case...
"Alright, fine...let's go back, and then you knock me out again until I'm back to normal. Please..."
She looked reluctant, but after a little more pushing, I managed to convince her to do so...I was genuinely afraid of what the me a year from now might do to her.
It was strange...I had barely even known her for eight hours, but I felt...attached to her.
She hesitantly agreed to knock me out as soon as we were out of the cave, since it was too risky to do so while we were still inside, in case we were attacked by Goblins.
As we hurried our way to the exit, Key walked next to me...
"Um...I apologize if I offended or upset you. I-," She began awkwardly.
"No...it was a pretty normal reaction, can't really blame you for it. If anything, Persia is the weird one for being so unaffected."
"H-hey, I'm not weird, take that back!" She pouted, before giggling and ruffling my hair for the millionth time today.
As we neared the entrance of the cave, two men walked in.
"Hm, kids? You lot must be Student Adventu-."
...
...
...
...oh, it's happening again...
...the final memory and body update before I'm back to normal...
...
...
...it's been five hundred and fifty days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted two times, and had three injections...
...
...hahaha...
...hm, I wonder what they'll do today...
...
...oh, I know...I'll try guessing what they plan on putting me through today!...
...
...oh, so close...I almost guessed right, I was off by one dissection...
...
...what I wouldn't give to just have a few minutes to torture these bastards back...
...
...
...it's been six hundred and ninety days...today I got dissected once, electrocuted twice, and had two injections...my legs are now completely gone too...
...
...aw, how cute...you call this pain?...
...
...it doesn't even tickle anymore...
...another day goes by...
...
...wow, it seriously doesn't hurt at all anymore...
...
...can this even be called a human body anymore, haha...
...
...hahaha...
...
...
...is that really the extent of the pain you can inflict...
...
...come on, you can do better than that...
...
...aw, I wish I could mutilate and kill you...all of you...
...
...hey, here's an idea...why don't you guys try this out on yourselves, just to see what it's like...it doesn't hurt at all, trust me!...hahaha...
...
...oh, wait...I see...
...
...they can't understand what I'm saying...my vocal chords are totally fucked!...
...
...well, isn't that just fucking priceless!?...
...
...haha...
...hahahaha....
...
...
...it's been seven hundred and eighty days...today I got dissected once, I didn't get electrocuted, no injections...it looks like they're starting to lose interest in me, that probably means I'm going to die soon. I'm barely alive at this point anyway...
...
...
"...is dressed all in black...must be the brat everyone's talking about, you know...the one who apparently returned from the dead. Heh, sure doesn't look like much, does he?"
...looks like the update is complete...
"Um, excuse us...we were just leaving," I heard Persia say, in a slightly uneasy tone.
I slowly opened my eyes. Oh, that's right...I'm in another world, these memories aren't my present...
"Don't think you can tell us what to do...you're a mere Student Adventurer, don't get on your high horse just because you were a part of some grand Quest! As for you, boy...got nothing to say for yourself? Heh, how about a real Adventurer teach you a lesson? You should learn to know your place, it's a basic facet of life! What's wrong, are you afraid-?"
One of them walked over to me and reached his arm towards me...I felt the hostility inside me rapidly spiking...
"Don't touch me."
Condescending adults...I couldn't ask for more perfect playthings...
"...hm?" He blinked with a blank expression, before it twisted with horror and pain, "M-my hand! Y-you cut off my hand, you little shit!"
I got chills as my mouth twisted into a wide, unhinged smile as I swung the blood off my dagger, blood pouring out of his stump like a waterfall...
Oh, yes...this is what I want right now!
"'The one who returned from the dead', huh? Is that what people are calling me here? Hehe...hehehe...you know what, that's pretty fucking cool!" I exclaimed, as deranged laughter uncontrollably escaped my lips.
This is so exciting...
"H-how...how dare you!" Cried the other man, charging at me with an axe.
He swung it down at my right shoulder, while I stayed still. I smiled at him coldly as he chopped off my right arm, he stepped back fearfully as I let out an amused laugh, blood spilling out of my shoulder stump.
"Wha- what the h-hell are you?"
Yes, that's it...that terrified expression...I was the one causing it! How fucking awesome was that!?
"Who, me? No one, really...just the last face that you're going to see before you die...but first, here's a taste of hell," I plunged the dagger into his knee, before slowly twisting it like a wind-up toy, "You know how the more you twirl your fork, the more spaghetti you get on it? I wonder what'll happen if I keep twisting and rotating this blade over and over, just like tha-!"
I was interrupted as someone grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, the blade squelching out of his blended kneecap.
"Get out of here!" Persia yelled at the two men, before turning to me, "Calm down, Kuro...I can't let you get on the bad side of the Guild and Academy, you can't kill them-!"
As the two men desperately scrambled away in terror, I instinctively moved...
"Let go of me!"
I broke free of her grasp, and as she reached out an arm towards me...
Before I could stop myself, I found myself reflexively swinging my left arm at her, the dagger firmly gripped in my hand.
No, wait...stop...
...
...
The arc of my swing was going to take her arm off...no...it was too late for me to pull back or stop short...!
I was snapped out of my bloodthirsty stupor, but....no, it's going to be too late!
Right as the tip of the blade reached her forearm...a flash of red swung across my wrist in front of me, cutting off my left hand.
What the...a red sword?
"Okay, you need to get a grip!" Key yelled at me, her hands shaking as my blood dripped off of her blade.
There was...orange fur on her forearms and legs.
"H-hey, it's okay...it's no b-big deal," Persia forced herself to say, her expression pale as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out in pain.
There was a deep gash along the length of her forearm, blood dripping down onto the ground. I felt my breathing growing uneven as I stared at her wound...that I had inflicted.
"N-no, I...I-I didn't mean to...I'm...I'm sorry-!" I took a step back as I began hyperventilating, my conflicting thoughts and emotions tearing me apart from the inside.
Wh-what...what am I doing? I-I don't belong here...so what the hell...
"Damn it, we don't have any healing Spell Scrolls! I'll have to make do with this for now...," Muttered Key, taking out a roll of bandages.
"Kuro, calm down! Here...reattach your right arm and left hand...you're losing too much blood," Urged Persia weakly, as Key bandaged her arm.
Even now...even with me like this...even with an injury that was clearly putting her in a lot of pain, an injury that I had caused...she was still concerned about me? I didn't...I didn't deserve her concern, not in the slightest...not this version of me, anyway.
...in that case, there was no other option...
"...knock me out, Key. And tie me up, just to be safe. There's metal wire in my pouch, use it."
"It's okay, Kuro-," Began Persia, standing up as Key finished wrapping her wound.
"No...it's not. You're incredible, you know that? I honestly find it baffling that someone like you cares for me this much...I don't deserve- or at least, the current version of me doesn't deserve that. Especially after hurting you...please, don't let me cause any more trouble. I'm currently just a spectre of the person you know, and a very volatile and unstable one at that...it's too dangerous to let me run wild."
I was currently snapped out of that overwhelmingly violent and bloodthirsty state of mind, but it was clear that even a slight push could trigger it again.
"..."
"Are you sure about this?" Inquired Key, walking over to me.
"Yeah...I'm sure. Heh, there's no denying it...I'm an absolute psycho right now...there's just no telling when my murderous and maniacal urges will resurface again...if I'm being honest, I can already feel them bubbling up, and I won't be able to contain them for much longer."
Yeah...I could feel the desire to cause harm uncontrollably rising again, as I began itching to kill...
"...please, hurry."
"Okay then...," She replied, walking behind me and aiming the base of her sword's handle at the back of my neck.
"Thanks..."
...
...
...
...I was back in the lab...
...
...my body...well, it's just a mutated, dying hunk of flesh now...
...
...seriously, how am I even still alive...
...
...come on, can't I at least take one of them down with me before I die...
...
...oh, wait...
...
...it looks like I'll die soon...
...
...what was left of my dull hearing and blurry vision was fading fast...
...
...if only I could kill all of these bastards before I kick the bucket...
...
...wow, they're not even torturing me anymore...
...
...
...
...everything around me is just light...
...oh...I see...
...I'm dead...
...
...damn it, those fucking bastards...
...in the end I couldn't hurt so much as a hair on even one of their heads before I died...
...
...damn it, I feel so enraged...
...
...wait...why was I angry again...
...
...I could feel the volatile emotions inside me fading away rapidly...
...
...huh...I guess it doesn't really matter...
...
...maybe...
...what I went through wasn't all that bad...
...
...yeah, I don't need revenge...
...
...no, wait...what am I thinking, I can't just ignore all this overwhelming hatred!...
...
...
...wait...what hatred am I talking about?...
...
...hm, where am I...
...
...
...oh, that's right...I reincarnated in another world...
...
...today's my first day at the Adventurer Academy...
...
...the Brawl of Glory starts tomorrow...
...
...Goldway...
...
...Zombies...
...
...
...
I opened my eyes with a gasp, sweat pouring down all over my body as I caught my breath.
...where am I?
I slowly looked around...it was nighttime. I was in my room. And...I wasn't alone.
Persia was sitting at the foot of my bed, having dozed off in a seated position.
And sitting by the window, Key, Azyl and Rai were all asleep too, leaning against each other, with Rai in the middle.
What was-?
...
...oh, no...
I let out a sharp exhale as the events of the last eight hours replayed in my head...oh, no...what the hell did I do...
I got out of bed shakily, my body feeling cold and sweaty as my breath grew ragged. I felt sick. Please, tell me that at least some of it was a dream...
I felt my chest tighten as I saw Persia's bandaged right arm. I...I did that to her. She looked so worn out...
I lay her down on the bed and slowly pulled the covers over her, as Pero rubbed herself on my feet and meowed at me.
I sat down on the floor and began processing the last few hours...
My memories of the past five years...they were so clear and vivid right now, I could remember everything like they had just happened yesterday.
Wait a second, what the hell was that, right at the end...what the hell happened right as I died in my old world?
I felt it clearly...my immense, blinding hatred and overwhelming murderous and vengeful urges...they had faded rapidly as I died.
Wait, that's right...what was it that not-God said to me again...
"Hm...I had hoped you would not notice that. It is simple, what you went through before your life ended, the trauma it caused had...skewed your sanity, to put it lightly. I readjusted your sanity back to a relatively normal state of mind, along with a few other...necessary adjustments."
Now I get it...at the time, I had chosen to ignore what he said, but...it all makes sense now.
That was the reason why, after reincarnating, I had hardly changed at all from who I was before my torture began, besides my increased tolerance for pain.
Fixing my 'skewed' sanity, as he called it, wasn't enough to restore me as a stable human...so long as all that hatred, vengeance and animosity was inside me, it wouldn't have been too long before I'd have lost my mind all over again.
But that was undone now, at least to an extent...right now, I still felt relatively sane and stable, but...the memories of my three years of torture were now a lot, lot clearer in my head than they were before this Rewind spell was cast on me.
If I had to guess, I'm probably going to become a bit more violent and sadistic now...I no longer felt disinterested towards the idea of inflicting pain. I don't think I'll change too much beyond that though. At least...I hope I won't.
not-God's draining of my violent emotions hadn't been undone, the vast majority of my hatred and vengeful emotions were definitely gone for good...but thanks to the last few hours, a fraction of those emotions had re-manifested and imprinted on my psyche, as I relived my tortured past.
It shouldn't be enough to change me in any significant way, but...after what I'd done to Persia, I couldn't trust mysel-.
"Mm...Kuro?" She yawned from behind, sitting up and reaching her right hand up to rub her eyes, before slightly wincing as she lifted her arm.
I felt wracked with guilt as I watched her...that was my fault.
"Persia...I- I, um...," I began, unable to bring myself to say anything to her...I felt like...I didn't deserve to talk to her.
"Hey, are you feeling okay? You look pale, Kuro," She came over, sitting next to me as she stretched sleepily.
"...I...I hurt you...," I muttered shakily, unable to look her in the eye out of guilt.
"Hey, it was just an accident...and you already apologized, remember?"
"That wasn't...that wasn't me...I didn't even know a version of me like that existed...I'm so sorry...because of me, you got hurt-!"
She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder.
"You just contradicted yourself...why should you apologize if that wasn't you? And if it was you, that makes the first apology valid-."
"Y-yeah, but...just because I apologized doesn't mean you have to forgive me so easi-!"
"Yeah, well...I chose to do so anyway, that was my choice, and I'm sticking by that decision...and besides, there was nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault. Remember, you even asked me to restrain you, but I was the one who refused. Also, don't worry about this...I already used a healing Spell Scroll to heal the wound, it's just a bit sore, that's all...I forgot to take the bandages off before I dozed off, that's all...see?" She replied, taking off the bandages and showing me her arm.
I inhaled sharply as my heart tightened...
"I-I'm...I-," I stuttered as I looked at her arm.
She looked confused, before taking a look at her arm.
I had...scarred her...
"Oh, guess it's because it took a while before I got back and used a scroll to heal it. Hey, don't look so horrified...you've seen my body, I really don't mind having one more little scar."
Why was she being so...?
"...come on, you could at least yell at me or something...I don't get it, I gave you so much trouble today, and that's putting it lightly, but you're not in the least bit mad or-."
"No, I'm not mad...and yeah, you did make it a pretty tiring day and caused a few problems, particularly when you blasted through the roof of the training hall in the Academy...but don't worry, rest assured that I plan to get you to make up for all that sooner or later, so try not to sulk too much, 'kay?" She smiled at me reassuringly as she held my hand comfortingly.
Seriously...what had I done to deserve to have such an amazing person in my life?
"I-I'm not sulking. Alright, in that case...don't go easy on me when you get me to make up for it...because I have a lot to make up for. And...I promise, I'll never, ever hurt you again-!"
"I know...you've never hurt me intentionally, and I know you never will. And, hey...today had plenty of good points too...for one thing, you looked so cute younger!"
"...yeah, you were pretty relentless with messing up my hair, weren't you?" I replied, a small smile appearing on my face as the doom and gloom slowly began leaving my body...
"Oh, shush...you definitely seemed to enjoy it, you know," She shot back with a teasing wink.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you're a part of my life, you mean so much to me...I love you, Persia..."
"I love you too, Kuro," She replied softly, leaning up to kiss me...
That's when I heard something stir slightly...
"Hold on," I said as I pulled back, before turning my attention towards the window-side and adding with a exasperated sigh, "Hey, I know you guys are awake...you can stop pretending to be asleep now."
After a brief moment, they sheepishly opened their eyes and stood up.
"W-well, you guys were talking kinda loud and that woke me up...but it seemed too rude to interrupt the moment though," Grinned Rai, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.
"Yeah...what he said," Added Azyl, letting out a yawn.
"That was quite awkward," Sighed Key in agreement.
"Wh-wha...y-you guys should have said something if you were awake!" Stuttered Persia, as her face turned red.
"Yeah...just what do you think would have happened if I didn't notice that you guys were awake?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"U-uh...duly noted, dude..."
...
...
A little while later, after we all chatted for a bit, I stood up with a sense of purpose.
Now, then...I have some business to take care of...
"Be right back...gotta do something real quick."
"Where are you going?" Asked Persia curiously.
"Huh, isn't it obvious?" I replied, as I opened the door and stepped out, "Imma gonna go torture and then kill that damned little loli bitch."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Kuro, NO-!"
_____________________________________________
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"...it's been forty-three days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...it's been forty-three days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...it's been forty-three da-."
"Kuro...Kuro, snap out of it!"
I opened my eyes, startled out of my trance...oh, that's right...I was...I was...
"Wha...what the hell...," I whispered shakily, my body trembling and breaking out into a cold sweat.
It was so fresh in my mind...that sickening sterile smell, the feel of scalpels and a variety of other operating tools cutting into me and moving around my insides, the various serums injected into me...what the hell...
I know that was just my memories updating, all of this had already happened...
But in my head right now, it was my present not my past...so as I opened my eyes, seeing Persia's face in front of me instead cold-eyed old men in lab coats...I felt like I had just escaped hell.
"Hey, tell me...how did I die?"
"Oh, no...I'm so sorry, I should have warned you in advance for the final six hours...it completely slipped my mind-!" She cried, her face wracked with guilt.
"...no, it's fine, there's nothing I'm blaming you for...do I...do I really have to go through all that for three whole years?"
She didn't say anything for a while, before silently nodding and began explaining what the me of this world had told her about how my life would end.
...
...
"...heh, I'm starting to see why the me in this world can bear pain so well...Jesus Christ, three whole years of that...? Does the me in this world actually have his sanity intact? I think I might already be losing my grip on mine...and it's only been a little over seven weeks...I can't even imagine what kind of state of mind I'll be in after three years of this."
The other three had woken up, and were staring at me with concern.
"Um...is there anything you want to do, to help take your mind off of it? A distraction might be good for you right now."
Something I wanna do, huh?
The only thoughts in my head were flashes of torture, the number of days it had been going on, and the types of experimentations that I had gone through...by keeping track of those, I was able to retain my ability to still have at least somewhat rational thoughts...but it wasn't very stable.
I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to get rid of these thoughts and memories...
"...knock me out. I don't want to stay awake anymore, all I can think about and see is...pain. Knock me out at least until these two hours are up...maybe the me a year from now will be more mentally resilient," I requested, as my shoulders slumped.
"Um...I don't think-."
"Look, if you don't want to, that's fine...I'm perfectly capable of knocking myself out- H-hey!" I began, before exclaiming as Persia hugged me tightly.
What was she...?
...
...
...I felt a bit calmer.
"If it's really that unbearable, then okay...I'll do it, if that's what you want," She said softly, stroking my cheek gently.
No one has ever been this nice to me...it was strange, but I didn't dislike it in the slightest.
"...I do. I-I do feel a bit better now...but it's so vivid in my mind, all of it...I just want to get it out of my head, I don't want to think about it anymore, it feels like it's breaking me apart," I replied quietly.
After a brief silence, she reluctantly nodded, before delivering a swift chop to the back of my neck, as my vision and consciousness slowly faded...
...
...
...I was back in the lab...
...
...
...oh, I see...my memories must be updating again
...
...it's been sixty-three days...today I got dissected once, electrocuted four times, and had five injections...
...
...
...it's been a hundred and fifty days...today I got dissected thrice, electrocuted two times, and had three injections...
...
...they're still going at it...
...
...it's been three hundred and five days...today I didn't get dissected, I got electrocuted four times, and had one injections...what's left of my body is starting to get deformed and mutated thanks to the serums they were injecting...
...
...aren't they bored of doing this yet...
...
...I want to kill them so bad...
...
...in the most painful ways possible...
...
...hey, you know what...it doesn't really hurt anymore...
...
...it barely even stings...
...I wish...
...
...I wish I could kill them...
...
...it's been four hundred and eight days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...I no longer have arms, and what remains of my body is a mutated mess...
...
...I want to kill them...
...
...
I woke up with a terrified gasp, my heart pounding like a drum, as sweat poured down my face.
Oh...that's right.
I looked down at my body...no deformities...I still have my arms...I still have my vision and hearing intact...a blinding rage was flowing through me...I wanted to kill the men who had been torturing me...but they're not in this world...where do I direct all this hatred?
I wanted to kill so badly right now...
"Oh, you're awake," Someone snapped me out of my rapidly darkening thoughts, as I turned to see who it was.
"Oh...Key. What...time is it?" I asked, rubbing my head.
It felt strange...to be able to move and talk...is this a dream, or was the torture a dream...it was starting to get harder and harder to tell which one was reality...
"It's been about forty-five minutes since you last grew...you have three hours and a bit left before you'll be back to normal," She answered, before adding, "Are you alright? You look drained."
"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Where's, um...," I began to ask.
"Persia went to buy some food, she should be back any minute now. As for the other two...uh, well...they woke up again, smoked more weed, and then went straight back to sleep," She explained, nodding at the two passed out figures on the bed.
"...hey, tell me something. What am I like in this world? I mean...do I seem sane? Right now, all I can think of is getting revenge in the most brutal and violent way imaginable...but the ones I want to get revenge on don't even exist in this world...I find it hard to believe that I was able to move on from all this...sheer hatred and am perfectly normal and sane."
Yeah...especially since I apparently had more than a year left of this torture...
"Let's see...you're strong and skilled, and you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders, as in you're good at adapting and being proactive or efficient. You do seem to kinda like killing, but you always look to kill in a single strike, even with monsters, I've never seen you deliberately inflict pain before killing. You can be a bit annoying and cocky at times, but you never seemed to have any sanity issues, at least as far as I could tell," She replied, after thinking it over for a bit.
That sounded...just like how I was before I was captured as a lab rat...so, when I died, I had seriously just reverted back to the way I had been before the torture?
That can't be right...
The door then swung open and Persia walked in, carrying a brown paper bag. She looked surprised to see me awake, before quickly hurrying over to me.
"Hey...are you feeling okay?" She asked in a gentle tone, sitting next to me and holding my hand.
"I...want to kill something. Humans, or I guess monsters will do too, it doesn't matter...I need to get all this out of my system...I feel like I'll lose my mind if I don't kill something," I replied shakily, struggling to contain my murderous impulses.
I was beginning to feel restless, as rage and violent urges began welling up inside me every time I remembered my torture. I wonder if I had just freaked her ou-.
"Okay...let's go to the Goblin cave area, they're weak enough that it shouldn't be a problem even without your Lightning Magic. But first, why don't you have something to eat? I bought some strawberry jam-filled buns," Suggested Persia, opening the paper bag and taking out a bun from it.
Despite my obvious bloodthirstiness, she didn't so much as bat an eye...
"No...I'm not particularly hungry, I don't want to eat anything, I just want to k- mfph...!" I began, interrupted as she broke off a piece of the bun and put it in my mouth.
.
.
.
It tasted...so good.
I felt a wave of emotions wash over me as I chewed on it...
...what is this...why am I so...?
Oh, that's right...I hadn't eaten any real food over the last four hundred and eight days of my current memories...my body was being kept alive using IVs and liquid nutrients...I can't remember the last time I actually tasted something...
Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the bun from her and ravenously chomped into it, devouring it in seconds. I grabbed another one from the paper bag, biting into it hungrily...tears were pouring down my face as I savored the taste, the sweetness that was almost overwhelming my taste buds, but I couldn't stop..
Before I knew it, I had finished the entire bag. I hadn't even been that hungry, but...but I just couldn't get enough of the sensation of taste...
"Don't want to eat anything, huh?" Smiled Persia, stroking my head.
"...sorry, I ate all of it."
"It's okay, I'm glad you enjoyed them...oh, you've got some jam on your face...," She pointed out on the corner of my mouth, before quickly leaning in and licking it off before I could wipe it.
"C-cut it out...," I mumbled, my face turning red.
She's not afraid of me at all...
"So...do you still want me to take you to the Goblin area? If you're feeling better, we can do something els-."
"No, let's go...I do feel better, but...I can't shake these feelings. Revenge may not be possible, but I still feel like I need to take all this out on...something."
After a brief silence, she spoke up.
"Okay, then...let's go. You wanna come too, Key?"
"Oh, uh...sure, I don't mind," She responded a bit awkwardly, having been quiet the whole time I'd been ravenously stuffing my face.
Rai and Azyl was too deep asleep to be woken up, so we left them behind.
First, we stopped by the inn I stay at, as well as Persia's place, in order to get a couple of cards that we need to present in order to be allowed to leave the country gates.
After that, we made our way to the gates, exited, and walked for a bit...until we reached a rocky clearing with a large cave entrance near it.
I had about twenty minutes left before my next 'update', and then just two more hours before I'm back to normal.
Whatever 'normal' might be...
A couple of short, green humanoid monsters peeked out before running back into the caves.
"Those are Goblins? They sure do seem afraid," I remarked, as I drew out the short-sword and dagger, heading into the cave.
They looked just like the Goblins in animes and fantasy shows, this might be fun.
I could feel my bloodlust growing rapidly, in a more feral and violent manner than I'd ever felt before...
"Apparently, you've killed them so many times that these days, they run away the moment they see you, at least the ones in this particular area," Explained Key, as we walked into the cave.
Oh? That was pretty cool.
We hadn't gone more than a few steps inside when I heard a slight rustling to my left, quickly turning my attention towards it.
At first glance it looked like a shadow, but upon closer inspection...I noticed that it was a small crevice. I walked over to it, to find a Goblin huddled in it, growling and cowering as it saw me approaching.
"Kuro? What is it?" Called out Persia.
"Found one."
Its hands trembled as it gripped a rusty knife and sprang at me, driving the blade towards me. I stepped aside, evading the wild thrust.
Heh, stupid monster...do you really think you can hurt me...?
I'll show you...
As a wave of sadistic bloodlust uncontrollably washed over me, I drove my dagger into its shoulder from behind as it fell on its front, before violently twisting the blade, the monster letting out a shriek of pain.
Hm, there was no blood, that's a bit off-putting...but oh, well...I can still work with this...
I then pulled back the dagger and stabbed its other shoulder, followed by its knees, rapidly twisting the blade 180 degrees each time...
A wide smile began to spread out across my face as the monster continued to howl in pain.
Aw, is that all you can take? Come on...I'm just getting started here!
It suddenly turned to dust as I began to plunge my dagger back down again, my blade hitting rock as it vanished.
"What the...?"
Oh, wait...I think Persia mentioned that monsters don't die, they simply respawn.
I turned to look at the other two...
Key looked a bit shaken, and averted her gaze as I looked at her. Oh, I see...I must have freaked them out...
"Shall we keep going?" A warm, comforting hand placed itself on my shoulder.
I looked up at her in surprise, as she smiled at me and pulled me back on my feet.
"Hm? What's wrong?" She asked, ruffling my hair.
She seemed so...unfazed. And it didn't seem like she was acting. I don't understand her at all...
"...it's nothing. Let's go," I mumbled in reply, my violent urges calming down a bit.
As we headed further in, I could clearly see that my display earlier had rattled Key...but Persia seemed fine.
I watched her closely...but she didn't seem to be faking it, she was genuinely unaffected by how brutal I'd been. It was strange and hard to comprehend...because even I was surprised by how much I'd enjoyed myself just now.
It was the first time that my primary goal had been inflicting pain over actually killing my target.
I then spotted some movement ahead of us and shot forward towards it eagerly, as my bloodlust took over again.
Four Goblins...
They began to turn and run as they spotted me approaching, I quickly flung needles soaked in a fluid from a bottle labeled 'Confusion' I'd found in one of my, or this world's version of me's, pouches.
They all fell over as the needles pierced them, flailing wildly and desperately. Their movements looked very strange and unnatural.
Oh, I get it...
"Oh, 'Confusion', as in it messes up the transmissions through your nervous system...heh," I smiled widely in anticipation as I slowly poked my sword into one of their eyes, "Ouch, that looks painful..."
It howled in pain, its limbs desperately flailing to get up...
Over the next five minutes, I proceeded to slice, stab and cut them over and over, making sure not to hit anything vital so that they'd stay alive...
At one point I thought I heard the sound of maniacal chuckling...until I realized that I was the one chuckling, as I put the monsters in front of me through hell and then some.
Eventually, I ran out of things to do to them and stood up with a bored sigh, charging up a bolt of lightning in my hand to finish them off. I shot it at their mutilated, barely-alive bodies, incinerating them in an instant. Heh...magic is pretty awesome.
Oh, if only I had these powers to use against my torturers, I could-!
I tensed up as someone placed their hand on my shoulder, nearly slashing at them out of instinct, just barely restraining myself.
"Are you okay, Kuro? Wanna keep going, or shall we take a break?" Asked Persia, as my bloodlust eased up again.
Key was keeping her distance, I could sense her unease towards me. Her reaction was perfectly warranted in this situation, though.
"Hey..."
"Yeah, what is it?"
"Why are you so unfazed by me? I mean, just look at her, she's totally freaked out and keeping her distance...heck, even I'm a bit disturbed by how fucking sadistic and psychotic I'm being right now! So, then...why are you so-?"
She cut me off with a gentle hug, stroking the back of my head.
"Take it easy...no matter what you do, you aren't going to scare me, you know. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, or comprehend the horrors of your most recent memories. So, if taking all of that out on some Goblins makes you feel better and helps you forget at least a little...I'm certainly not going to judge you on how you go about doing that," She whispered in a slow, reassuring tone...
She's so...
...so...
...so amazing.
I see...she must be a big reason why the me of this world seems to be so...mentally stable.
"...how long do I have left before I grow again?"
"Um...let's see," Replied Persia, pulling out a small mechanical clock, "Oh, just a few minutes...shouldn't be too lo-."
"Before that happens, you have to restrain me or something! I can't even imagine how much more deranged and maniacal I'll be after another whole year of this," I urged her, before adding, "I...I-I don't want to end up hurting you..."
"I'll take my chances, and trust that you won't do a thing to hurt me. Sorry, but I'm not going to tie you up or anything like that," She immediately refused.
I could tell from the look in her eye that she wasn't going to back down. In that case...
"Alright, fine...let's go back, and then you knock me out again until I'm back to normal. Please..."
She looked reluctant, but after a little more pushing, I managed to convince her to do so...I was genuinely afraid of what the me a year from now might do to her.
It was strange...I had barely even known her for eight hours, but I felt...attached to her.
She hesitantly agreed to knock me out as soon as we were out of the cave, since it was too risky to do so while we were still inside, in case we were attacked by Goblins.
As we hurried our way to the exit, Key walked next to me...
"Um...I apologize if I offended or upset you. I-," She began awkwardly.
"No...it was a pretty normal reaction, can't really blame you for it. If anything, Persia is the weird one for being so unaffected."
"H-hey, I'm not weird, take that back!" She pouted, before giggling and ruffling my hair for the millionth time today.
As we neared the entrance of the cave, two men walked in.
"Hm, kids? You lot must be Student Adventu-."
...
...
...
...oh, it's happening again...
...the final memory and body update before I'm back to normal...
...
...
...it's been five hundred and fifty days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted two times, and had three injections...
...
...hahaha...
...hm, I wonder what they'll do today...
...
...oh, I know...I'll try guessing what they plan on putting me through today!...
...
...oh, so close...I almost guessed right, I was off by one dissection...
...
...what I wouldn't give to just have a few minutes to torture these bastards back...
...
...
...it's been six hundred and ninety days...today I got dissected once, electrocuted twice, and had two injections...my legs are now completely gone too...
...
...aw, how cute...you call this pain?...
...
...it doesn't even tickle anymore...
...another day goes by...
...
...wow, it seriously doesn't hurt at all anymore...
...
...can this even be called a human body anymore, haha...
...
...hahaha...
...
...
...is that really the extent of the pain you can inflict...
...
...come on, you can do better than that...
...
...aw, I wish I could mutilate and kill you...all of you...
...
...hey, here's an idea...why don't you guys try this out on yourselves, just to see what it's like...it doesn't hurt at all, trust me!...hahaha...
...
...oh, wait...I see...
...
...they can't understand what I'm saying...my vocal chords are totally fucked!...
...
...well, isn't that just fucking priceless!?...
...
...haha...
...hahahaha....
...
...
...it's been seven hundred and eighty days...today I got dissected once, I didn't get electrocuted, no injections...it looks like they're starting to lose interest in me, that probably means I'm going to die soon. I'm barely alive at this point anyway...
...
...
"...is dressed all in black...must be the brat everyone's talking about, you know...the one who apparently returned from the dead. Heh, sure doesn't look like much, does he?"
...looks like the update is complete...
"Um, excuse us...we were just leaving," I heard Persia say, in a slightly uneasy tone.
I slowly opened my eyes. Oh, that's right...I'm in another world, these memories aren't my present...
"Don't think you can tell us what to do...you're a mere Student Adventurer, don't get on your high horse just because you were a part of some grand Quest! As for you, boy...got nothing to say for yourself? Heh, how about a real Adventurer teach you a lesson? You should learn to know your place, it's a basic facet of life! What's wrong, are you afraid-?"
One of them walked over to me and reached his arm towards me...I felt the hostility inside me rapidly spiking...
"Don't touch me."
Condescending adults...I couldn't ask for more perfect playthings...
"...hm?" He blinked with a blank expression, before it twisted with horror and pain, "M-my hand! Y-you cut off my hand, you little shit!"
I got chills as my mouth twisted into a wide, unhinged smile as I swung the blood off my dagger, blood pouring out of his stump like a waterfall...
Oh, yes...this is what I want right now!
"'The one who returned from the dead', huh? Is that what people are calling me here? Hehe...hehehe...you know what, that's pretty fucking cool!" I exclaimed, as deranged laughter uncontrollably escaped my lips.
This is so exciting...
"H-how...how dare you!" Cried the other man, charging at me with an axe.
He swung it down at my right shoulder, while I stayed still. I smiled at him coldly as he chopped off my right arm, he stepped back fearfully as I let out an amused laugh, blood spilling out of my shoulder stump.
"Wha- what the h-hell are you?"
Yes, that's it...that terrified expression...I was the one causing it! How fucking awesome was that!?
"Who, me? No one, really...just the last face that you're going to see before you die...but first, here's a taste of hell," I plunged the dagger into his knee, before slowly twisting it like a wind-up toy, "You know how the more you twirl your fork, the more spaghetti you get on it? I wonder what'll happen if I keep twisting and rotating this blade over and over, just like tha-!"
I was interrupted as someone grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, the blade squelching out of his blended kneecap.
"Get out of here!" Persia yelled at the two men, before turning to me, "Calm down, Kuro...I can't let you get on the bad side of the Guild and Academy, you can't kill them-!"
As the two men desperately scrambled away in terror, I instinctively moved...
"Let go of me!"
I broke free of her grasp, and as she reached out an arm towards me...
Before I could stop myself, I found myself reflexively swinging my left arm at her, the dagger firmly gripped in my hand.
No, wait...stop...
...
...
The arc of my swing was going to take her arm off...no...it was too late for me to pull back or stop short...!
I was snapped out of my bloodthirsty stupor, but....no, it's going to be too late!
Right as the tip of the blade reached her forearm...a flash of red swung across my wrist in front of me, cutting off my left hand.
What the...a red sword?
"Okay, you need to get a grip!" Key yelled at me, her hands shaking as my blood dripped off of her blade.
There was...orange fur on her forearms and legs.
"H-hey, it's okay...it's no b-big deal," Persia forced herself to say, her expression pale as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out in pain.
There was a deep gash along the length of her forearm, blood dripping down onto the ground. I felt my breathing growing uneven as I stared at her wound...that I had inflicted.
"N-no, I...I-I didn't mean to...I'm...I'm sorry-!" I took a step back as I began hyperventilating, my conflicting thoughts and emotions tearing me apart from the inside.
Wh-what...what am I doing? I-I don't belong here...so what the hell...
"Damn it, we don't have any healing Spell Scrolls! I'll have to make do with this for now...," Muttered Key, taking out a roll of bandages.
"Kuro, calm down! Here...reattach your right arm and left hand...you're losing too much blood," Urged Persia weakly, as Key bandaged her arm.
Even now...even with me like this...even with an injury that was clearly putting her in a lot of pain, an injury that I had caused...she was still concerned about me? I didn't...I didn't deserve her concern, not in the slightest...not this version of me, anyway.
...in that case, there was no other option...
"...knock me out, Key. And tie me up, just to be safe. There's metal wire in my pouch, use it."
"It's okay, Kuro-," Began Persia, standing up as Key finished wrapping her wound.
"No...it's not. You're incredible, you know that? I honestly find it baffling that someone like you cares for me this much...I don't deserve- or at least, the current version of me doesn't deserve that. Especially after hurting you...please, don't let me cause any more trouble. I'm currently just a spectre of the person you know, and a very volatile and unstable one at that...it's too dangerous to let me run wild."
I was currently snapped out of that overwhelmingly violent and bloodthirsty state of mind, but it was clear that even a slight push could trigger it again.
"..."
"Are you sure about this?" Inquired Key, walking over to me.
"Yeah...I'm sure. Heh, there's no denying it...I'm an absolute psycho right now...there's just no telling when my murderous and maniacal urges will resurface again...if I'm being honest, I can already feel them bubbling up, and I won't be able to contain them for much longer."
Yeah...I could feel the desire to cause harm uncontrollably rising again, as I began itching to kill...
"...please, hurry."
"Okay then...," She replied, walking behind me and aiming the base of her sword's handle at the back of my neck.
"Thanks..."
...
...
...
...I was back in the lab...
...
...my body...well, it's just a mutated, dying hunk of flesh now...
...
...seriously, how am I even still alive...
...
...come on, can't I at least take one of them down with me before I die...
...
...oh, wait...
...
...it looks like I'll die soon...
...
...what was left of my dull hearing and blurry vision was fading fast...
...
...if only I could kill all of these bastards before I kick the bucket...
...
...wow, they're not even torturing me anymore...
...
...
...
...everything around me is just light...
...oh...I see...
...I'm dead...
...
...damn it, those fucking bastards...
...in the end I couldn't hurt so much as a hair on even one of their heads before I died...
...
...damn it, I feel so enraged...
...
...wait...why was I angry again...
...
...I could feel the volatile emotions inside me fading away rapidly...
...
...huh...I guess it doesn't really matter...
...
...maybe...
...what I went through wasn't all that bad...
...
...yeah, I don't need revenge...
...
...no, wait...what am I thinking, I can't just ignore all this overwhelming hatred!...
...
...
...wait...what hatred am I talking about?...
...
...hm, where am I...
...
...
...oh, that's right...I reincarnated in another world...
...
...today's my first day at the Adventurer Academy...
...
...the Brawl of Glory starts tomorrow...
...
...Goldway...
...
...Zombies...
...
...
...
I opened my eyes with a gasp, sweat pouring down all over my body as I caught my breath.
...where am I?
I slowly looked around...it was nighttime. I was in my room. And...I wasn't alone.
Persia was sitting at the foot of my bed, having dozed off in a seated position.
And sitting by the window, Key, Azyl and Rai were all asleep too, leaning against each other, with Rai in the middle.
What was-?
...
...oh, no...
I let out a sharp exhale as the events of the last eight hours replayed in my head...oh, no...what the hell did I do...
I got out of bed shakily, my body feeling cold and sweaty as my breath grew ragged. I felt sick. Please, tell me that at least some of it was a dream...
I felt my chest tighten as I saw Persia's bandaged right arm. I...I did that to her. She looked so worn out...
I lay her down on the bed and slowly pulled the covers over her, as Pero rubbed herself on my feet and meowed at me.
I sat down on the floor and began processing the last few hours...
My memories of the past five years...they were so clear and vivid right now, I could remember everything like they had just happened yesterday.
Wait a second, what the hell was that, right at the end...what the hell happened right as I died in my old world?
I felt it clearly...my immense, blinding hatred and overwhelming murderous and vengeful urges...they had faded rapidly as I died.
Wait, that's right...what was it that not-God said to me again...
"Hm...I had hoped you would not notice that. It is simple, what you went through before your life ended, the trauma it caused had...skewed your sanity, to put it lightly. I readjusted your sanity back to a relatively normal state of mind, along with a few other...necessary adjustments."
Now I get it...at the time, I had chosen to ignore what he said, but...it all makes sense now.
That was the reason why, after reincarnating, I had hardly changed at all from who I was before my torture began, besides my increased tolerance for pain.
Fixing my 'skewed' sanity, as he called it, wasn't enough to restore me as a stable human...so long as all that hatred, vengeance and animosity was inside me, it wouldn't have been too long before I'd have lost my mind all over again.
But that was undone now, at least to an extent...right now, I still felt relatively sane and stable, but...the memories of my three years of torture were now a lot, lot clearer in my head than they were before this Rewind spell was cast on me.
If I had to guess, I'm probably going to become a bit more violent and sadistic now...I no longer felt disinterested towards the idea of inflicting pain. I don't think I'll change too much beyond that though. At least...I hope I won't.
not-God's draining of my violent emotions hadn't been undone, the vast majority of my hatred and vengeful emotions were definitely gone for good...but thanks to the last few hours, a fraction of those emotions had re-manifested and imprinted on my psyche, as I relived my tortured past.
It shouldn't be enough to change me in any significant way, but...after what I'd done to Persia, I couldn't trust mysel-.
"Mm...Kuro?" She yawned from behind, sitting up and reaching her right hand up to rub her eyes, before slightly wincing as she lifted her arm.
I felt wracked with guilt as I watched her...that was my fault.
"Persia...I- I, um...," I began, unable to bring myself to say anything to her...I felt like...I didn't deserve to talk to her.
"Hey, are you feeling okay? You look pale, Kuro," She came over, sitting next to me as she stretched sleepily.
"...I...I hurt you...," I muttered shakily, unable to look her in the eye out of guilt.
"Hey, it was just an accident...and you already apologized, remember?"
"That wasn't...that wasn't me...I didn't even know a version of me like that existed...I'm so sorry...because of me, you got hurt-!"
She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder.
"You just contradicted yourself...why should you apologize if that wasn't you? And if it was you, that makes the first apology valid-."
"Y-yeah, but...just because I apologized doesn't mean you have to forgive me so easi-!"
"Yeah, well...I chose to do so anyway, that was my choice, and I'm sticking by that decision...and besides, there was nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault. Remember, you even asked me to restrain you, but I was the one who refused. Also, don't worry about this...I already used a healing Spell Scroll to heal the wound, it's just a bit sore, that's all...I forgot to take the bandages off before I dozed off, that's all...see?" She replied, taking off the bandages and showing me her arm.
I inhaled sharply as my heart tightened...
"I-I'm...I-," I stuttered as I looked at her arm.
She looked confused, before taking a look at her arm.
I had...scarred her...
"Oh, guess it's because it took a while before I got back and used a scroll to heal it. Hey, don't look so horrified...you've seen my body, I really don't mind having one more little scar."
Why was she being so...?
"...come on, you could at least yell at me or something...I don't get it, I gave you so much trouble today, and that's putting it lightly, but you're not in the least bit mad or-."
"No, I'm not mad...and yeah, you did make it a pretty tiring day and caused a few problems, particularly when you blasted through the roof of the training hall in the Academy...but don't worry, rest assured that I plan to get you to make up for all that sooner or later, so try not to sulk too much, 'kay?" She smiled at me reassuringly as she held my hand comfortingly.
Seriously...what had I done to deserve to have such an amazing person in my life?
"I-I'm not sulking. Alright, in that case...don't go easy on me when you get me to make up for it...because I have a lot to make up for. And...I promise, I'll never, ever hurt you again-!"
"I know...you've never hurt me intentionally, and I know you never will. And, hey...today had plenty of good points too...for one thing, you looked so cute younger!"
"...yeah, you were pretty relentless with messing up my hair, weren't you?" I replied, a small smile appearing on my face as the doom and gloom slowly began leaving my body...
"Oh, shush...you definitely seemed to enjoy it, you know," She shot back with a teasing wink.
"You have no idea how glad I am that you're a part of my life, you mean so much to me...I love you, Persia..."
"I love you too, Kuro," She replied softly, leaning up to kiss me...
That's when I heard something stir slightly...
"Hold on," I said as I pulled back, before turning my attention towards the window-side and adding with a exasperated sigh, "Hey, I know you guys are awake...you can stop pretending to be asleep now."
After a brief moment, they sheepishly opened their eyes and stood up.
"W-well, you guys were talking kinda loud and that woke me up...but it seemed too rude to interrupt the moment though," Grinned Rai, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.
"Yeah...what he said," Added Azyl, letting out a yawn.
"That was quite awkward," Sighed Key in agreement.
"Wh-wha...y-you guys should have said something if you were awake!" Stuttered Persia, as her face turned red.
"Yeah...just what do you think would have happened if I didn't notice that you guys were awake?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"U-uh...duly noted, dude..."
...
...
A little while later, after we all chatted for a bit, I stood up with a sense of purpose.
Now, then...I have some business to take care of...
"Be right back...gotta do something real quick."
"Where are you going?" Asked Persia curiously.
"Huh, isn't it obvious?" I replied, as I opened the door and stepped out, "Imma gonna go torture and then kill that damned little loli bitch."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Kuro, NO-!"
_____________________________________________
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
"...it's been forty-three days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...it's been forty-three days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...it's been forty-three da-." "Kuro...Kuro, snap out of it!" I opened my eyes, startled out of my trance...oh, that's right...I was...I was..."Wha...what the hell...," I whispered shakily, my body trembling and breaking out into a cold sweat.It was so fresh in my mind...that sickening sterile smell, the feel of scalpels and a variety of other operating tools cutting into me and moving around my insides, the various serums injected into me...what the hell...I know that was just my memories updating, all of this had already happened... But in my head right now, it was my present not my past...so as I opened my eyes, seeing Persia's face in front of me instead cold-eyed old men in lab coats...I felt like I had just escaped hell. "Hey, tell me...how did I die?""Oh, no...I'm so sorry, I should have warned you in advance for the final six hours...it completely slipped my mind-!" She cried, her face wracked with guilt. "...no, it's fine, there's nothing I'm blaming you for...do I...do I really have to go through all that for three whole years?" She didn't say anything for a while, before silently nodding and began explaining what the me of this world had told her about how my life would end.... ... "...heh, I'm starting to see why the me in this world can bear pain so well...Jesus Christ, three whole years of that...? Does the me in this world actually have his sanity intact? I think I might already be losing my grip on mine...and it's only been a little over seven weeks...I can't even imagine what kind of state of mind I'll be in after three years of this."The other three had woken up, and were staring at me with concern. "Um...is there anything you want to do, to help take your mind off of it? A distraction might be good for you right now."Something I wanna do, huh? The only thoughts in my head were flashes of torture, the number of days it had been going on, and the types of experimentations that I had gone through...by keeping track of those, I was able to retain my ability to still have at least somewhat rational thoughts...but it wasn't very stable. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to get rid of these thoughts and memories..."...knock me out. I don't want to stay awake anymore, all I can think about and see is...pain. Knock me out at least until these two hours are up...maybe the me a year from now will be more mentally resilient," I requested, as my shoulders slumped. "Um...I don't think-.""Look, if you don't want to, that's fine...I'm perfectly capable of knocking myself out- H-hey!" I began, before exclaiming as Persia hugged me tightly. What was she...?.........I felt a bit calmer. "If it's really that unbearable, then okay...I'll do it, if that's what you want," She said softly, stroking my cheek gently. No one has ever been this nice to me...it was strange, but I didn't dislike it in the slightest. "...I do. I-I do feel a bit better now...but it's so vivid in my mind, all of it...I just want to get it out of my head, I don't want to think about it anymore, it feels like it's breaking me apart," I replied quietly. After a brief silence, she reluctantly nodded, before delivering a swift chop to the back of my neck, as my vision and consciousness slowly faded... ... ... ...I was back in the lab... ... ... ...oh, I see...my memories must be updating again... ...it's been sixty-three days...today I got dissected once, electrocuted four times, and had five injections... ... ... ...it's been a hundred and fifty days...today I got dissected thrice, electrocuted two times, and had three injections... ... ...they're still going at it... ......it's been three hundred and five days...today I didn't get dissected, I got electrocuted four times, and had one injections...what's left of my body is starting to get deformed and mutated thanks to the serums they were injecting... ... ...aren't they bored of doing this yet... ... ...I want to kill them so bad... ... ...in the most painful ways possible... ... ...hey, you know what...it doesn't really hurt anymore... ... ...it barely even stings... ...I wish... ... ...I wish I could kill them... ... ...it's been four hundred and eight days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted five times, and had seven injections...I no longer have arms, and what remains of my body is a mutated mess.........I want to kill them.........I woke up with a terrified gasp, my heart pounding like a drum, as sweat poured down my face. Oh...that's right.I looked down at my body...no deformities...I still have my arms...I still have my vision and hearing intact...a blinding rage was flowing through me...I wanted to kill the men who had been torturing me...but they're not in this world...where do I direct all this hatred? I wanted to kill so badly right now..."Oh, you're awake," Someone snapped me out of my rapidly darkening thoughts, as I turned to see who it was. "Oh...Key. What...time is it?" I asked, rubbing my head. It felt strange...to be able to move and talk...is this a dream, or was the torture a dream...it was starting to get harder and harder to tell which one was reality..."It's been about forty-five minutes since you last grew...you have three hours and a bit left before you'll be back to normal," She answered, before adding, "Are you alright? You look drained.""Y-yeah, I'm fine. Where's, um...," I began to ask. "Persia went to buy some food, she should be back any minute now. As for the other two...uh, well...they woke up again, smoked more weed, and then went straight back to sleep," She explained, nodding at the two passed out figures on the bed."...hey, tell me something. What am I like in this world? I mean...do I seem sane? Right now, all I can think of is getting revenge in the most brutal and violent way imaginable...but the ones I want to get revenge on don't even exist in this world...I find it hard to believe that I was able to move on from all this...sheer hatred and am perfectly normal and sane."Yeah...especially since I apparently had more than a year left of this torture... "Let's see...you're strong and skilled, and you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders, as in you're good at adapting and being proactive or efficient. You do seem to kinda like killing, but you always look to kill in a single strike, even with monsters, I've never seen you deliberately inflict pain before killing. You can be a bit annoying and cocky at times, but you never seemed to have any sanity issues, at least as far as I could tell," She replied, after thinking it over for a bit. That sounded...just like how I was before I was captured as a lab rat...so, when I died, I had seriously just reverted back to the way I had been before the torture? That can't be right...The door then swung open and Persia walked in, carrying a brown paper bag. She looked surprised to see me awake, before quickly hurrying over to me. "Hey...are you feeling okay?" She asked in a gentle tone, sitting next to me and holding my hand. "I...want to kill something. Humans, or I guess monsters will do too, it doesn't matter...I need to get all this out of my system...I feel like I'll lose my mind if I don't kill something," I replied shakily, struggling to contain my murderous impulses. I was beginning to feel restless, as rage and violent urges began welling up inside me every time I remembered my torture. I wonder if I had just freaked her ou-. "Okay...let's go to the Goblin cave area, they're weak enough that it shouldn't be a problem even without your Lightning Magic. But first, why don't you have something to eat? I bought some strawberry jam-filled buns," Suggested Persia, opening the paper bag and taking out a bun from it. Despite my obvious bloodthirstiness, she didn't so much as bat an eye..."No...I'm not particularly hungry, I don't want to eat anything, I just want to k- mfph...!" I began, interrupted as she broke off a piece of the bun and put it in my mouth. . . . It tasted...so good. I felt a wave of emotions wash over me as I chewed on it......what is this...why am I so...?Oh, that's right...I hadn't eaten any real food over the last four hundred and eight days of my current memories...my body was being kept alive using IVs and liquid nutrients...I can't remember the last time I actually tasted something... Before I could stop myself, I grabbed the bun from her and ravenously chomped into it, devouring it in seconds. I grabbed another one from the paper bag, biting into it hungrily...tears were pouring down my face as I savored the taste, the sweetness that was almost overwhelming my taste buds, but I couldn't stop..Before I knew it, I had finished the entire bag. I hadn't even been that hungry, but...but I just couldn't get enough of the sensation of taste... "Don't want to eat anything, huh?" Smiled Persia, stroking my head. "...sorry, I ate all of it." "It's okay, I'm glad you enjoyed them...oh, you've got some jam on your face...," She pointed out on the corner of my mouth, before quickly leaning in and licking it off before I could wipe it. "C-cut it out...," I mumbled, my face turning red. She's not afraid of me at all... "So...do you still want me to take you to the Goblin area? If you're feeling better, we can do something els-." "No, let's go...I do feel better, but...I can't shake these feelings. Revenge may not be possible, but I still feel like I need to take all this out on...something."After a brief silence, she spoke up. "Okay, then...let's go. You wanna come too, Key?" "Oh, uh...sure, I don't mind," She responded a bit awkwardly, having been quiet the whole time I'd been ravenously stuffing my face. Rai and Azyl was too deep asleep to be woken up, so we left them behind. First, we stopped by the inn I stay at, as well as Persia's place, in order to get a couple of cards that we need to present in order to be allowed to leave the country gates. After that, we made our way to the gates, exited, and walked for a bit...until we reached a rocky clearing with a large cave entrance near it. I had about twenty minutes left before my next 'update', and then just two more hours before I'm back to normal. Whatever 'normal' might be... A couple of short, green humanoid monsters peeked out before running back into the caves. "Those are Goblins? They sure do seem afraid," I remarked, as I drew out the short-sword and dagger, heading into the cave. They looked just like the Goblins in animes and fantasy shows, this might be fun. I could feel my bloodlust growing rapidly, in a more feral and violent manner than I'd ever felt before... "Apparently, you've killed them so many times that these days, they run away the moment they see you, at least the ones in this particular area," Explained Key, as we walked into the cave. Oh? That was pretty cool. We hadn't gone more than a few steps inside when I heard a slight rustling to my left, quickly turning my attention towards it. At first glance it looked like a shadow, but upon closer inspection...I noticed that it was a small crevice. I walked over to it, to find a Goblin huddled in it, growling and cowering as it saw me approaching. "Kuro? What is it?" Called out Persia. "Found one."Its hands trembled as it gripped a rusty knife and sprang at me, driving the blade towards me. I stepped aside, evading the wild thrust. Heh, stupid monster...do you really think you can hurt me...? I'll show you... As a wave of sadistic bloodlust uncontrollably washed over me, I drove my dagger into its shoulder from behind as it fell on its front, before violently twisting the blade, the monster letting out a shriek of pain. Hm, there was no blood, that's a bit off-putting...but oh, well...I can still work with this... I then pulled back the dagger and stabbed its other shoulder, followed by its knees, rapidly twisting the blade 180 degrees each time... A wide smile began to spread out across my face as the monster continued to howl in pain. Aw, is that all you can take? Come on...I'm just getting started here! It suddenly turned to dust as I began to plunge my dagger back down again, my blade hitting rock as it vanished. "What the...?"Oh, wait...I think Persia mentioned that monsters don't die, they simply respawn. I turned to look at the other two... Key looked a bit shaken, and averted her gaze as I looked at her. Oh, I see...I must have freaked them out..."Shall we keep going?" A warm, comforting hand placed itself on my shoulder. I looked up at her in surprise, as she smiled at me and pulled me back on my feet. "Hm? What's wrong?" She asked, ruffling my hair. She seemed so...unfazed. And it didn't seem like she was acting. I don't understand her at all... "...it's nothing. Let's go," I mumbled in reply, my violent urges calming down a bit. As we headed further in, I could clearly see that my display earlier had rattled Key...but Persia seemed fine. I watched her closely...but she didn't seem to be faking it, she was genuinely unaffected by how brutal I'd been. It was strange and hard to comprehend...because even I was surprised by how much I'd enjoyed myself just now. It was the first time that my primary goal had been inflicting pain over actually killing my target. I then spotted some movement ahead of us and shot forward towards it eagerly, as my bloodlust took over again. Four Goblins... They began to turn and run as they spotted me approaching, I quickly flung needles soaked in a fluid from a bottle labeled 'Confusion' I'd found in one of my, or this world's version of me's, pouches. They all fell over as the needles pierced them, flailing wildly and desperately. Their movements looked very strange and unnatural. Oh, I get it... "Oh, 'Confusion', as in it messes up the transmissions through your nervous system...heh," I smiled widely in anticipation as I slowly poked my sword into one of their eyes, "Ouch, that looks painful..."It howled in pain, its limbs desperately flailing to get up...Over the next five minutes, I proceeded to slice, stab and cut them over and over, making sure not to hit anything vital so that they'd stay alive... At one point I thought I heard the sound of maniacal chuckling...until I realized that I was the one chuckling, as I put the monsters in front of me through hell and then some. Eventually, I ran out of things to do to them and stood up with a bored sigh, charging up a bolt of lightning in my hand to finish them off. I shot it at their mutilated, barely-alive bodies, incinerating them in an instant. Heh...magic is pretty awesome. Oh, if only I had these powers to use against my torturers, I could-! I tensed up as someone placed their hand on my shoulder, nearly slashing at them out of instinct, just barely restraining myself. "Are you okay, Kuro? Wanna keep going, or shall we take a break?" Asked Persia, as my bloodlust eased up again. Key was keeping her distance, I could sense her unease towards me. Her reaction was perfectly warranted in this situation, though. "Hey...""Yeah, what is it?""Why are you so unfazed by me? I mean, just look at her, she's totally freaked out and keeping her distance...heck, even I'm a bit disturbed by how fucking sadistic and psychotic I'm being right now! So, then...why are you so-?" She cut me off with a gentle hug, stroking the back of my head. "Take it easy...no matter what you do, you aren't going to scare me, you know. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now, or comprehend the horrors of your most recent memories. So, if taking all of that out on some Goblins makes you feel better and helps you forget at least a little...I'm certainly not going to judge you on how you go about doing that," She whispered in a slow, reassuring tone... She's so......so......so amazing. I see...she must be a big reason why the me of this world seems to be so...mentally stable. "...how long do I have left before I grow again?""Um...let's see," Replied Persia, pulling out a small mechanical clock, "Oh, just a few minutes...shouldn't be too lo-." "Before that happens, you have to restrain me or something! I can't even imagine how much more deranged and maniacal I'll be after another whole year of this," I urged her, before adding, "I...I-I don't want to end up hurting you...""I'll take my chances, and trust that you won't do a thing to hurt me. Sorry, but I'm not going to tie you up or anything like that," She immediately refused. I could tell from the look in her eye that she wasn't going to back down. In that case... "Alright, fine...let's go back, and then you knock me out again until I'm back to normal. Please..."She looked reluctant, but after a little more pushing, I managed to convince her to do so...I was genuinely afraid of what the me a year from now might do to her. It was strange...I had barely even known her for eight hours, but I felt...attached to her. She hesitantly agreed to knock me out as soon as we were out of the cave, since it was too risky to do so while we were still inside, in case we were attacked by Goblins. As we hurried our way to the exit, Key walked next to me... "Um...I apologize if I offended or upset you. I-," She began awkwardly. "No...it was a pretty normal reaction, can't really blame you for it. If anything, Persia is the weird one for being so unaffected.""H-hey, I'm not weird, take that back!" She pouted, before giggling and ruffling my hair for the millionth time today. As we neared the entrance of the cave, two men walked in. "Hm, kids? You lot must be Student Adventu-." ...... ... ...oh, it's happening again......the final memory and body update before I'm back to normal...... ... ...it's been five hundred and fifty days...today I got dissected twice, electrocuted two times, and had three injections...... ...hahaha......hm, I wonder what they'll do today...... ...oh, I know...I'll try guessing what they plan on putting me through today!... ... ...oh, so close...I almost guessed right, I was off by one dissection...... ...what I wouldn't give to just have a few minutes to torture these bastards back... .........it's been six hundred and ninety days...today I got dissected once, electrocuted twice, and had two injections...my legs are now completely gone too.........aw, how cute...you call this pain?... ... ...it doesn't even tickle anymore... ...another day goes by... ......wow, it seriously doesn't hurt at all anymore... ......can this even be called a human body anymore, haha... ... ...hahaha............is that really the extent of the pain you can inflict... ......come on, you can do better than that... ... ...aw, I wish I could mutilate and kill you...all of you... ... ...hey, here's an idea...why don't you guys try this out on yourselves, just to see what it's like...it doesn't hurt at all, trust me!...hahaha.........oh, wait...I see... ... ...they can't understand what I'm saying...my vocal chords are totally fucked!... ... ...well, isn't that just fucking priceless!?... ......haha......hahahaha.............it's been seven hundred and eighty days...today I got dissected once, I didn't get electrocuted, no injections...it looks like they're starting to lose interest in me, that probably means I'm going to die soon. I'm barely alive at this point anyway...... ... "...is dressed all in black...must be the brat everyone's talking about, you know...the one who apparently returned from the dead. Heh, sure doesn't look like much, does he?" ...looks like the update is complete..."Um, excuse us...we were just leaving," I heard Persia say, in a slightly uneasy tone. I slowly opened my eyes. Oh, that's right...I'm in another world, these memories aren't my present... "Don't think you can tell us what to do...you're a mere Student Adventurer, don't get on your high horse just because you were a part of some grand Quest! As for you, boy...got nothing to say for yourself? Heh, how about a real Adventurer teach you a lesson? You should learn to know your place, it's a basic facet of life! What's wrong, are you afraid-?" One of them walked over to me and reached his arm towards me...I felt the hostility inside me rapidly spiking... "Don't touch me."Condescending adults...I couldn't ask for more perfect playthings... "...hm?" He blinked with a blank expression, before it twisted with horror and pain, "M-my hand! Y-you cut off my hand, you little shit!" I got chills as my mouth twisted into a wide, unhinged smile as I swung the blood off my dagger, blood pouring out of his stump like a waterfall...Oh, yes...this is what I want right now! "'The one who returned from the dead', huh? Is that what people are calling me here? Hehe...hehehe...you know what, that's pretty fucking cool!" I exclaimed, as deranged laughter uncontrollably escaped my lips. This is so exciting... "H-how...how dare you!" Cried the other man, charging at me with an axe.He swung it down at my right shoulder, while I stayed still. I smiled at him coldly as he chopped off my right arm, he stepped back fearfully as I let out an amused laugh, blood spilling out of my shoulder stump. "Wha- what the h-hell are you?" Yes, that's it...that terrified expression...I was the one causing it! How fucking awesome was that!? "Who, me? No one, really...just the last face that you're going to see before you die...but first, here's a taste of hell," I plunged the dagger into his knee, before slowly twisting it like a wind-up toy, "You know how the more you twirl your fork, the more spaghetti you get on it? I wonder what'll happen if I keep twisting and rotating this blade over and over, just like tha-!" I was interrupted as someone grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, the blade squelching out of his blended kneecap. "Get out of here!" Persia yelled at the two men, before turning to me, "Calm down, Kuro...I can't let you get on the bad side of the Guild and Academy, you can't kill them-!" As the two men desperately scrambled away in terror, I instinctively moved... "Let go of me!" I broke free of her grasp, and as she reached out an arm towards me...Before I could stop myself, I found myself reflexively swinging my left arm at her, the dagger firmly gripped in my hand. No, wait...stop.........The arc of my swing was going to take her arm off...no...it was too late for me to pull back or stop short...!I was snapped out of my bloodthirsty stupor, but....no, it's going to be too late!Right as the tip of the blade reached her forearm...a flash of red swung across my wrist in front of me, cutting off my left hand. What the...a red sword? "Okay, you need to get a grip!" Key yelled at me, her hands shaking as my blood dripped off of her blade. There was...orange fur on her forearms and legs. "H-hey, it's okay...it's no b-big deal," Persia forced herself to say, her expression pale as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out in pain. There was a deep gash along the length of her forearm, blood dripping down onto the ground. I felt my breathing growing uneven as I stared at her wound...that I had inflicted. "N-no, I...I-I didn't mean to...I'm...I'm sorry-!" I took a step back as I began hyperventilating, my conflicting thoughts and emotions tearing me apart from the inside. Wh-what...what am I doing? I-I don't belong here...so what the hell..."Damn it, we don't have any healing Spell Scrolls! I'll have to make do with this for now...," Muttered Key, taking out a roll of bandages. "Kuro, calm down! Here...reattach your right arm and left hand...you're losing too much blood," Urged Persia weakly, as Key bandaged her arm. Even now...even with me like this...even with an injury that was clearly putting her in a lot of pain, an injury that I had caused...she was still concerned about me? I didn't...I didn't deserve her concern, not in the slightest...not this version of me, anyway. ...in that case, there was no other option..."...knock me out, Key. And tie me up, just to be safe. There's metal wire in my pouch, use it.""It's okay, Kuro-," Began Persia, standing up as Key finished wrapping her wound. "No...it's not. You're incredible, you know that? I honestly find it baffling that someone like you cares for me this much...I don't deserve- or at least, the current version of me doesn't deserve that. Especially after hurting you...please, don't let me cause any more trouble. I'm currently just a spectre of the person you know, and a very volatile and unstable one at that...it's too dangerous to let me run wild."I was currently snapped out of that overwhelmingly violent and bloodthirsty state of mind, but it was clear that even a slight push could trigger it again. "..." "Are you sure about this?" Inquired Key, walking over to me. "Yeah...I'm sure. Heh, there's no denying it...I'm an absolute psycho right now...there's just no telling when my murderous and maniacal urges will resurface again...if I'm being honest, I can already feel them bubbling up, and I won't be able to contain them for much longer."Yeah...I could feel the desire to cause harm uncontrollably rising again, as I began itching to kill... "...please, hurry.""Okay then...," She replied, walking behind me and aiming the base of her sword's handle at the back of my neck. "Thanks..."............I was back in the lab.........my body...well, it's just a mutated, dying hunk of flesh now... ... ...seriously, how am I even still alive... ... ...come on, can't I at least take one of them down with me before I die... ... ...oh, wait... ... ...it looks like I'll die soon... ... ...what was left of my dull hearing and blurry vision was fading fast... ... ...if only I could kill all of these bastards before I kick the bucket... ... ...wow, they're not even torturing me anymore... ... .........everything around me is just light... ...oh...I see... ...I'm dead... ......damn it, those fucking bastards... ...in the end I couldn't hurt so much as a hair on even one of their heads before I died... ... ...damn it, I feel so enraged... ... ...wait...why was I angry again... ... ...I could feel the volatile emotions inside me fading away rapidly... ... ...huh...I guess it doesn't really matter... ......maybe... ...what I went through wasn't all that bad... ... ...yeah, I don't need revenge.........no, wait...what am I thinking, I can't just ignore all this overwhelming hatred!... ... ... ...wait...what hatred am I talking about?... ......hm, where am I... .........oh, that's right...I reincarnated in another world... ......today's my first day at the Adventurer Academy... ... ...the Brawl of Glory starts tomorrow...... ...Goldway.........Zombies... ... ......I opened my eyes with a gasp, sweat pouring down all over my body as I caught my breath. ...where am I? I slowly looked around...it was nighttime. I was in my room. And...I wasn't alone. Persia was sitting at the foot of my bed, having dozed off in a seated position. And sitting by the window, Key, Azyl and Rai were all asleep too, leaning against each other, with Rai in the middle. What was-? ... ...oh, no... I let out a sharp exhale as the events of the last eight hours replayed in my head...oh, no...what the hell did I do...I got out of bed shakily, my body feeling cold and sweaty as my breath grew ragged. I felt sick. Please, tell me that at least some of it was a dream... I felt my chest tighten as I saw Persia's bandaged right arm. I...I did that to her. She looked so worn out... I lay her down on the bed and slowly pulled the covers over her, as Pero rubbed herself on my feet and meowed at me. I sat down on the floor and began processing the last few hours... My memories of the past five years...they were so clear and vivid right now, I could remember everything like they had just happened yesterday. Wait a second, what the hell was that, right at the end...what the hell happened right as I died in my old world? I felt it clearly...my immense, blinding hatred and overwhelming murderous and vengeful urges...they had faded rapidly as I died. Wait, that's right...what was it that not-God said to me again... "Hm...I had hoped you would not notice that. It is simple, what you went through before your life ended, the trauma it caused had...skewed your sanity, to put it lightly. I readjusted your sanity back to a relatively normal state of mind, along with a few other...necessary adjustments."Now I get it...at the time, I had chosen to ignore what he said, but...it all makes sense now. That was the reason why, after reincarnating, I had hardly changed at all from who I was before my torture began, besides my increased tolerance for pain. Fixing my 'skewed' sanity, as he called it, wasn't enough to restore me as a stable human...so long as all that hatred, vengeance and animosity was inside me, it wouldn't have been too long before I'd have lost my mind all over again. But that was undone now, at least to an extent...right now, I still felt relatively sane and stable, but...the memories of my three years of torture were now a lot, lot clearer in my head than they were before this Rewind spell was cast on me. If I had to guess, I'm probably going to become a bit more violent and sadistic now...I no longer felt disinterested towards the idea of inflicting pain. I don't think I'll change too much beyond that though. At least...I hope I won't. not-God's draining of my violent emotions hadn't been undone, the vast majority of my hatred and vengeful emotions were definitely gone for good...but thanks to the last few hours, a fraction of those emotions had re-manifested and imprinted on my psyche, as I relived my tortured past. It shouldn't be enough to change me in any significant way, but...after what I'd done to Persia, I couldn't trust mysel-. "Mm...Kuro?" She yawned from behind, sitting up and reaching her right hand up to rub her eyes, before slightly wincing as she lifted her arm. I felt wracked with guilt as I watched her...that was my fault. "Persia...I- I, um...," I began, unable to bring myself to say anything to her...I felt like...I didn't deserve to talk to her."Hey, are you feeling okay? You look pale, Kuro," She came over, sitting next to me as she stretched sleepily. "...I...I hurt you...," I muttered shakily, unable to look her in the eye out of guilt. "Hey, it was just an accident...and you already apologized, remember?" "That wasn't...that wasn't me...I didn't even know a version of me like that existed...I'm so sorry...because of me, you got hurt-!" She wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. "You just contradicted yourself...why should you apologize if that wasn't you? And if it was you, that makes the first apology valid-." "Y-yeah, but...just because I apologized doesn't mean you have to forgive me so easi-!" "Yeah, well...I chose to do so anyway, that was my choice, and I'm sticking by that decision...and besides, there was nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault. Remember, you even asked me to restrain you, but I was the one who refused. Also, don't worry about this...I already used a healing Spell Scroll to heal the wound, it's just a bit sore, that's all...I forgot to take the bandages off before I dozed off, that's all...see?" She replied, taking off the bandages and showing me her arm. I inhaled sharply as my heart tightened... "I-I'm...I-," I stuttered as I looked at her arm. She looked confused, before taking a look at her arm. I had...scarred her... "Oh, guess it's because it took a while before I got back and used a scroll to heal it. Hey, don't look so horrified...you've seen my body, I really don't mind having one more little scar." Why was she being so...?"...come on, you could at least yell at me or something...I don't get it, I gave you so much trouble today, and that's putting it lightly, but you're not in the least bit mad or-.""No, I'm not mad...and yeah, you did make it a pretty tiring day and caused a few problems, particularly when you blasted through the roof of the training hall in the Academy...but don't worry, rest assured that I plan to get you to make up for all that sooner or later, so try not to sulk too much, 'kay?" She smiled at me reassuringly as she held my hand comfortingly. Seriously...what had I done to deserve to have such an amazing person in my life? "I-I'm not sulking. Alright, in that case...don't go easy on me when you get me to make up for it...because I have a lot to make up for. And...I promise, I'll never, ever hurt you again-!" "I know...you've never hurt me intentionally, and I know you never will. And, hey...today had plenty of good points too...for one thing, you looked so cute younger!" "...yeah, you were pretty relentless with messing up my hair, weren't you?" I replied, a small smile appearing on my face as the doom and gloom slowly began leaving my body... "Oh, shush...you definitely seemed to enjoy it, you know," She shot back with a teasing wink. "You have no idea how glad I am that you're a part of my life, you mean so much to me...I love you, Persia...""I love you too, Kuro," She replied softly, leaning up to kiss me... That's when I heard something stir slightly... "Hold on," I said as I pulled back, before turning my attention towards the window-side and adding with a exasperated sigh, "Hey, I know you guys are awake...you can stop pretending to be asleep now."After a brief moment, they sheepishly opened their eyes and stood up. "W-well, you guys were talking kinda loud and that woke me up...but it seemed too rude to interrupt the moment though," Grinned Rai, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah...what he said," Added Azyl, letting out a yawn. "That was quite awkward," Sighed Key in agreement. "Wh-wha...y-you guys should have said something if you were awake!" Stuttered Persia, as her face turned red. "Yeah...just what do you think would have happened if I didn't notice that you guys were awake?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow. "U-uh...duly noted, dude..."... ... A little while later, after we all chatted for a bit, I stood up with a sense of purpose. Now, then...I have some business to take care of..."Be right back...gotta do something real quick.""Where are you going?" Asked Persia curiously. "Huh, isn't it obvious?" I replied, as I opened the door and stepped out, "Imma gonna go torture and then kill that damned little loli bitch.""..." "..." "..." "Kuro, NO-!" _____________________________________________Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
