[21st Round] Is This for Real?
Due to the intervention of my cowardly wife, the androids’ design was slightly changed.
An inexpensive gem was inserted into their cores as a reward for the heroes who defeated them. Since their production cost had increased, instead of 100, only 20 units would be produced per day.
That wasn’t all.
“Let’s add a scenario according to which the forces of evil seized one of the android-producing factories and added hunting heroes into the androids’ program.”
“Not bad.”
“The androids are yet to be named, though. Any ideas, hubby?”
“Bianca.”
That was Teacher Morals’ name.
“I’m surprised you still haven’t forgotten her name.”
“Naturally!”
That was the end of our affairs on the Western Continent.
Before leaving, I gave Shakespeare an assignment.
“If the Hero comes to visit you, do not drive them away. Rather, give them a warm welcome and lend them a good weapon.
“Ahh! Do you mean we should rent them out?”
“… Oh. Uh, yes.”
“Understood. I’ll prepare a weapon so incredible they won’t be able to pay for its fees in their entire life if it’s destroyed.”
“Good. That makes me feel at ease.”
In my 1st round, no kingdom supported me, so I had a rather difficult time. I couldn’t even afford a good weapon since I spent my money on our daily travel expenses.
My juniors, however, would receive my full support, ensuring they would progress quickly.
“Are you coming, handsome husband?”
“Se-e-e-ex!”
My cowardly wife, standing on her stingray, rushed me.
She could teleport anywhere within Fantasy, but my conceited wife loved using this ride.
“Let’s go. Green Cake, follow me.”
“Yes, father.”
Our next destination was the Southern Continent, which giants ruled.
***
Large-scale construction was underway on the Southern Continent.
The palace, which Captain Fantasy’s butt had flattened, was rebuilt almost immediately after my departure that time.
Then what are they building here?
Judging by the scale and amount of building materials, what they had in mind was much more than just a palace.
I decided to ask Girl A passing by…
“Handsome husband! Wait!”
“What?”
“You were going to grab her by the throat and blame everything on the fact that your hand just slipped, weren’t you?”
“…”
This time I was going to grab her not by her neck but by her lower back.
“In any case, don’t do anything stupid! From here on out, if it’s not for something important, you should only touch me. If you touch other women, I will tell your mother everything.”
“That interferes with our common cause!”
“Hmmm~ Swear as much as you want~”
“Se-e-e-ex…”
My vile wife got off her stingray and, pretending to be a good samaritan, approached Girl A, “Excuse me, can I ask you something?”
“Ah? Oh! You’re so beautiful. Yes! Ask away.”
“What are they constructing there?”
“A bronze statue in honor of the greatest child, the teacher of His Majesty. I’m not sure about the details myself, but my mother says that it’ll serve as a symbol of ‘eternal humility.'”
That was… pretty shocking.
They built a structure so high that it could flatten even a giant in the event of a fall.
What was up with this waste of public funds?
“Did you hear what she said, handsome husband? They want to build a statue dedicated to Captain Fantasy. What are you even planning to do here?”
“I need to show the heroes who are too keen on anime how important the difference in weight categories is.”
“I don’t understand you…”
“Think of it this way. Can you, without using the system, get rid of Captain Fantasy if he pinches you?”
“No.”
“I want to convey this idea to my juniors. No matter how powerful they are, they’ll simply die if they get sat on by Captain Fantasy.”
“I see!”
We headed towards the royal palace, which didn’t seem so glorious anymore due to the construction site unfolding nearby.
Nothing stood in our way.
They were confident that no one would dare enter it with evil intentions, even if they didn’t leave guards at the entrance.
Just considering the military power of the Giant Empire alone would derail anyone from even thinking of committing a crime here.
They were not as strong as dragons, but one giant was comparable to 100 humans with the same skills as the giant.
However, that was all in the past.
In the 5th curriculum, the giants were no longer stupid savages.
They had become intelligent, even to the point of using flush toilets. Hence, their skills had grown far more.
▷ Race: Combat Giant
▷ Level: 791
▷ Job: Soldier (Crowd → Fighting Spirit ↑)
▷ Skills: Fighting Spirit S, Faith S, Fishing A, Hunting B, Endurance B…
▷ Status: Good
That was Soldier D’s stats, an ordinary giant patrolling the royal palace.
Skills varied from giant to giant, but on average, they were comparable to those of a knight captain in the human kingdom.
That was despite the fact that this was an ordinary soldier.
Such growth was possible due to the use of their large size when hunting huge monsters.
“The difference is too great.”
The Giant Empire continued to develop throughout the past 2,000 years.
When humans first learned to cross the river, giants were already crossing the seas.
That gap had only increased over time.
Naturally, the Western Continent wasn’t part of that gap.
Shakespeare could single-handedly annihilate the entire Southern Continent.
“That’s because of you, hubby.”
“There’s nothing to worry about. The Giant Empire isn’t the only civilization occupying the Southern Continent.”
There was also the Elf Empire that the wretched Elf King ruled.
“I hope you keep your promise and send me into his arms, Sir Hero.”
Did her sensors perk up?
Shadow A had been silent for a long time, but she was now suddenly making demands.
Of course, I hadn’t forgotten about it.
Shadow A wasn’t particularly useful, but I was able to take advantage of her position as an honorary teacher.
And I was used to keeping my promises.
However, if I acted recklessly, chaos would ensue.
After all, the Elf King played too important a role.
Here and now…
“Greatest King of the Giants, thanks to your grace, our two races have been able to coexist in harmony for 2,000 years. A race as weak and unsuitable for giants as ours continues to exist only thanks to you. As the representative of the elves, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“Hahaha! I’ve always liked the way you put things into words, Elfheim! You just can’t seem to go wrong!”
“I hope for your support this year as well.”
“Hahaha! Do not worry! I am the greatest Giant King. I will fulfill the request of my fragile son. Elves will continue to be able to live under my protection.”
“… Thank you.”
The two elves were talking while sitting at a huge table.
Giant King Phoenix.
Elf King Elfheim.
Lovely maids were serving them.
“… Ssosiel.”
“Hmm?”
“I thought there were two souls in Giant King Phoenix. It seems one of them disappeared completely.”
“They still coexist.”
“In what way?”
I could only see First Elf King Phoenix’s identity.
“The Elf King was indeed able to push back the Giant King due to his life experience and aggression, but his mindset has changed a lot. If only Phoenix existed in that body, then the Giant Empire would have come to an end long ago.”
“Ah… That’s right.”
“Do not worry.”
“Huh?”
“We are one. Neither of us will disappear or be swallowed by the other.”
“… Why did you suddenly say that?”
I didn’t even care. I asked only because her situation was similar.
“Seriously, why?”
“…”
“Hehehe! I apologize for making fun of you, handsome hubby. You can whip me in the ass for my cocky behavior… Huh?! No! Forget what I just said!”
We walked slowly towards the Giant King and Elf King.
Elven knights and soldiers who didn’t know me drew their swords and raised their shields, silently warning us not to come close.
The giants reacted differently.
Kneeling, they bowed their heads in respect.
“Who… Ah!”
The Giant King didn’t notice my presence since he focused on listening to Elfheim’s speeches. Hence, when he finally did, he jumped off his chair in fear.
Looking around, he exhaled with relief.
“Hey. How many days have we not seen each other?” I said, waving my hand.
“The greatest prophet who spread flush toilets and Mollan’s Teachings! The powerful Demon Lord that even legends cannot defeat! The Giant Empire and I feel sincerely honored to be in your presence!”
Although no one forced or even told him to do so, Phoenix fell to his knees and planted his forehead on the cold floor.
It wasn’t in vain that Captain Fantasy taught him a lesson with his ass, after all.
“Haha! Thank you for your hospitality.”
My soul felt satisfied, witnessing the ruler of one of the most powerful nations in Fantasy bowing to me.
“The child…”
“Should I call him?”
“N-don’t! He’s probably asleep… There’s no need to wake him up! We even decided to erect a monument in his honor to celebrate his achievements!
“I need to ask you something.”
“Please speak your mind! I’ll willingly answer all of your questions and do your bidding for as long as it isn’t to be his seat cushion…”
“It’s nothing special.”
Thanks to Captain Fantasy’s efforts, I could easily conduct business on the Southern Continent.
Giant King Phoenix promised not to crush the heroes like insects when they arrive, but instead, to warmly welcome them.
“Would it be possible to ask for more details…”
“Do not ignore them just because they are pitiful humans. Give them a warm welcome and show them how the giants live instead. Let the heroes and their companions learn a thing or two from your kind.”
“Ah! Understood. You want us to show the heroes how our race lives to make them realize how insignificant and little they are, just like how the great child once enlightened me.”
“Sort of,” I answered evasively, showing my Righteous Hero’s smile.
Things wouldn’t go exactly as the Giant King Phoenix imagined.
My juniors would definitely find a way to overcome the difference in weight classes!
… I didn’t know how they would do it myself, though.
“Hey, hubby? Don’t you think too highly of heroes? You used to look down on them because they were social outcasts.”
“They’ll overcome everything they find difficult with the pitiful power of friendship.”
“Ah!”
“I would like them to cope on their own, like me, but that’s too much to ask for from losers like them.”
“Is that your low expectations?”
“Why? Do you need me to lower them further?”
“It seems to me that you should. Heroes need to be handled with care, like newborns. If you treat them like you treat me, they’ll break swiftly.”
That was an accurate comparison. I didn’t expect to hear it from my cowardly wife.
Newborn children.
I agreed with her.
“You’re right, Ssosiel. We must have faith in human possibilities…”
“Those possibilities are only accessible to you! Don’t be stubborn and listen to me!”
“…”
Ssosiel had made a few corrections to my message to Giant King Phoenix.
For example, she told him to let the heroes experience the life of giants for themselves but not force them to use flush toilets the size of a pond.
… Wasn’t she underestimating my juniors too much?
Would there ever be a hero that drowned in a toilet?
“Are you done, Ssosiel?”
“Yeah.”
“Then…”
After finishing my business with the Giant King, I turned to the pathetic Elf King.
He seemed like he wanted to tell me something.
“Would you mind if I intervene in your interesting conversation?”
“Of course not.”
“Save… Kh?!”
Grabbing the Elf King’s cervical vertebrae with my right hand, I said, “Hey, bug, what happened to the real Elf King?”
“What are you talking about…”
“Then die.”
“…”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I broke his neck.
Jumping out of my shadow, Shadow A fell to her knees in front of him, horror enveloping her face.
Crying, she shouted, “What was that for?!”
“I said it was a bug. Take a look yourself.”
The Elven King, with a broken neck, jumped to his feet again like a tumbler.
His face remained the same, but his expression had become distorted. That change alone made him look like a completely different person.
“How did you know I’m not real? I thought I copied him perfectly, considering I’ve never been caught before.”
“It’s simple.”
“Simple?”
I nonchalantly replied, “The Elfheim I know will never take his eyes off a woman’s breasts.”
“… What?”
“A woman’s breasts. Never heard of them?”
“What the hell?! Are you serious?!”
“Unfortunately, I am.”
There was nothing I could do about it. The elf he copied behaved exactly that way.
[21st Round] Is This for Real?
Due to the intervention of my cowardly wife, the androids’ design was slightly changed.
An inexpensive gem was inserted into their cores as a reward for the heroes who defeated them. Since their production cost had increased, instead of 100, only 20 units would be produced per day.
That wasn’t all.
“Let’s add a scenario according to which the forces of evil seized one of the android-producing factories and added hunting heroes into the androids’ program.”
“Not bad.”
“The androids are yet to be named, though. Any ideas, hubby?”
“Bianca.”
That was Teacher Morals’ name.
“I’m surprised you still haven’t forgotten her name.”
“Naturally!”
That was the end of our affairs on the Western Continent.
Before leaving, I gave Shakespeare an assignment.
“If the Hero comes to visit you, do not drive them away. Rather, give them a warm welcome and lend them a good weapon.
“Ahh! Do you mean we should rent them out?”
“… Oh. Uh, yes.”
“Understood. I’ll prepare a weapon so incredible they won’t be able to pay for its fees in their entire life if it’s destroyed.”
“Good. That makes me feel at ease.”
In my 1st round, no kingdom supported me, so I had a rather difficult time. I couldn’t even afford a good weapon since I spent my money on our daily travel expenses.
My juniors, however, would receive my full support, ensuring they would progress quickly.
“Are you coming, handsome husband?”
“Se-e-e-ex!”
My cowardly wife, standing on her stingray, rushed me.
She could teleport anywhere within Fantasy, but my conceited wife loved using this ride.
“Let’s go. Green Cake, follow me.”
“Yes, father.”
Our next destination was the Southern Continent, which giants ruled.
***
Large-scale construction was underway on the Southern Continent.
The palace, which Captain Fantasy’s butt had flattened, was rebuilt almost immediately after my departure that time.
Then what are they building here?
Judging by the scale and amount of building materials, what they had in mind was much more than just a palace.
I decided to ask Girl A passing by…
“Handsome husband! Wait!”
“What?”
“You were going to grab her by the throat and blame everything on the fact that your hand just slipped, weren’t you?”
“…”
This time I was going to grab her not by her neck but by her lower back.
“In any case, don’t do anything stupid! From here on out, if it’s not for something important, you should only touch me. If you touch other women, I will tell your mother everything.”
“That interferes with our common cause!”
“Hmmm~ Swear as much as you want~”
“Se-e-e-ex…”
My vile wife got off her stingray and, pretending to be a good samaritan, approached Girl A, “Excuse me, can I ask you something?”
“Ah? Oh! You’re so beautiful. Yes! Ask away.”
“What are they constructing there?”
“A bronze statue in honor of the greatest child, the teacher of His Majesty. I’m not sure about the details myself, but my mother says that it’ll serve as a symbol of ‘eternal humility.'”
That was… pretty shocking.
They built a structure so high that it could flatten even a giant in the event of a fall.
What was up with this waste of public funds?
“Did you hear what she said, handsome husband? They want to build a statue dedicated to Captain Fantasy. What are you even planning to do here?”
“I need to show the heroes who are too keen on anime how important the difference in weight categories is.”
“I don’t understand you…”
“Think of it this way. Can you, without using the system, get rid of Captain Fantasy if he pinches you?”
“No.”
“I want to convey this idea to my juniors. No matter how powerful they are, they’ll simply die if they get sat on by Captain Fantasy.”
“I see!”
We headed towards the royal palace, which didn’t seem so glorious anymore due to the construction site unfolding nearby.
Nothing stood in our way.
They were confident that no one would dare enter it with evil intentions, even if they didn’t leave guards at the entrance.
Just considering the military power of the Giant Empire alone would derail anyone from even thinking of committing a crime here.
They were not as strong as dragons, but one giant was comparable to 100 humans with the same skills as the giant.
However, that was all in the past.
In the 5th curriculum, the giants were no longer stupid savages.
They had become intelligent, even to the point of using flush toilets. Hence, their skills had grown far more.
▷ Race: Combat Giant
▷ Level: 791
▷ Job: Soldier (Crowd → Fighting Spirit ↑)
▷ Skills: Fighting Spirit S, Faith S, Fishing A, Hunting B, Endurance B…
▷ Status: Good
That was Soldier D’s stats, an ordinary giant patrolling the royal palace.
Skills varied from giant to giant, but on average, they were comparable to those of a knight captain in the human kingdom.
That was despite the fact that this was an ordinary soldier.
Such growth was possible due to the use of their large size when hunting huge monsters.
“The difference is too great.”
The Giant Empire continued to develop throughout the past 2,000 years.
When humans first learned to cross the river, giants were already crossing the seas.
That gap had only increased over time.
Naturally, the Western Continent wasn’t part of that gap.
Shakespeare could single-handedly annihilate the entire Southern Continent.
“That’s because of you, hubby.”
“There’s nothing to worry about. The Giant Empire isn’t the only civilization occupying the Southern Continent.”
There was also the Elf Empire that the wretched Elf King ruled.
“I hope you keep your promise and send me into his arms, Sir Hero.”
Did her sensors perk up?
Shadow A had been silent for a long time, but she was now suddenly making demands.
Of course, I hadn’t forgotten about it.
Shadow A wasn’t particularly useful, but I was able to take advantage of her position as an honorary teacher.
And I was used to keeping my promises.
However, if I acted recklessly, chaos would ensue.
After all, the Elf King played too important a role.
Here and now…
“Greatest King of the Giants, thanks to your grace, our two races have been able to coexist in harmony for 2,000 years. A race as weak and unsuitable for giants as ours continues to exist only thanks to you. As the representative of the elves, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
“Hahaha! I’ve always liked the way you put things into words, Elfheim! You just can’t seem to go wrong!”
“I hope for your support this year as well.”
“Hahaha! Do not worry! I am the greatest Giant King. I will fulfill the request of my fragile son. Elves will continue to be able to live under my protection.”
“… Thank you.”
The two elves were talking while sitting at a huge table.
Giant King Phoenix.
Elf King Elfheim.
Lovely maids were serving them.
“… Ssosiel.”
“Hmm?”
“I thought there were two souls in Giant King Phoenix. It seems one of them disappeared completely.”
“They still coexist.”
“In what way?”
I could only see First Elf King Phoenix’s identity.
“The Elf King was indeed able to push back the Giant King due to his life experience and aggression, but his mindset has changed a lot. If only Phoenix existed in that body, then the Giant Empire would have come to an end long ago.”
“Ah… That’s right.”
“Do not worry.”
“Huh?”
“We are one. Neither of us will disappear or be swallowed by the other.”
“… Why did you suddenly say that?”
I didn’t even care. I asked only because her situation was similar.
“Seriously, why?”
“…”
“Hehehe! I apologize for making fun of you, handsome hubby. You can whip me in the ass for my cocky behavior… Huh?! No! Forget what I just said!”
We walked slowly towards the Giant King and Elf King.
Elven knights and soldiers who didn’t know me drew their swords and raised their shields, silently warning us not to come close.
The giants reacted differently.
Kneeling, they bowed their heads in respect.
“Who… Ah!”
The Giant King didn’t notice my presence since he focused on listening to Elfheim’s speeches. Hence, when he finally did, he jumped off his chair in fear.
Looking around, he exhaled with relief.
“Hey. How many days have we not seen each other?” I said, waving my hand.
“The greatest prophet who spread flush toilets and Mollan’s Teachings! The powerful Demon Lord that even legends cannot defeat! The Giant Empire and I feel sincerely honored to be in your presence!”
Although no one forced or even told him to do so, Phoenix fell to his knees and planted his forehead on the cold floor.
It wasn’t in vain that Captain Fantasy taught him a lesson with his ass, after all.
“Haha! Thank you for your hospitality.”
My soul felt satisfied, witnessing the ruler of one of the most powerful nations in Fantasy bowing to me.
“The child…”
“Should I call him?”
“N-don’t! He’s probably asleep… There’s no need to wake him up! We even decided to erect a monument in his honor to celebrate his achievements!
“I need to ask you something.”
“Please speak your mind! I’ll willingly answer all of your questions and do your bidding for as long as it isn’t to be his seat cushion…”
“It’s nothing special.”
Thanks to Captain Fantasy’s efforts, I could easily conduct business on the Southern Continent.
Giant King Phoenix promised not to crush the heroes like insects when they arrive, but instead, to warmly welcome them.
“Would it be possible to ask for more details…”
“Do not ignore them just because they are pitiful humans. Give them a warm welcome and show them how the giants live instead. Let the heroes and their companions learn a thing or two from your kind.”
“Ah! Understood. You want us to show the heroes how our race lives to make them realize how insignificant and little they are, just like how the great child once enlightened me.”
“Sort of,” I answered evasively, showing my Righteous Hero’s smile.
Things wouldn’t go exactly as the Giant King Phoenix imagined.
My juniors would definitely find a way to overcome the difference in weight classes!
… I didn’t know how they would do it myself, though.
“Hey, hubby? Don’t you think too highly of heroes? You used to look down on them because they were social outcasts.”
“They’ll overcome everything they find difficult with the pitiful power of friendship.”
“Ah!”
“I would like them to cope on their own, like me, but that’s too much to ask for from losers like them.”
“Is that your low expectations?”
“Why? Do you need me to lower them further?”
“It seems to me that you should. Heroes need to be handled with care, like newborns. If you treat them like you treat me, they’ll break swiftly.”
That was an accurate comparison. I didn’t expect to hear it from my cowardly wife.
Newborn children.
I agreed with her.
“You’re right, Ssosiel. We must have faith in human possibilities…”
“Those possibilities are only accessible to you! Don’t be stubborn and listen to me!”
“…”
Ssosiel had made a few corrections to my message to Giant King Phoenix.
For example, she told him to let the heroes experience the life of giants for themselves but not force them to use flush toilets the size of a pond.
… Wasn’t she underestimating my juniors too much?
Would there ever be a hero that drowned in a toilet?
“Are you done, Ssosiel?”
“Yeah.”
“Then…”
After finishing my business with the Giant King, I turned to the pathetic Elf King.
He seemed like he wanted to tell me something.
“Would you mind if I intervene in your interesting conversation?”
“Of course not.”
“Save… Kh?!”
Grabbing the Elf King’s cervical vertebrae with my right hand, I said, “Hey, bug, what happened to the real Elf King?”
“What are you talking about…”
“Then die.”
“…”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I broke his neck.
Jumping out of my shadow, Shadow A fell to her knees in front of him, horror enveloping her face.
Crying, she shouted, “What was that for?!”
“I said it was a bug. Take a look yourself.”
The Elven King, with a broken neck, jumped to his feet again like a tumbler.
His face remained the same, but his expression had become distorted. That change alone made him look like a completely different person.
“How did you know I’m not real? I thought I copied him perfectly, considering I’ve never been caught before.”
“It’s simple.”
“Simple?”
I nonchalantly replied, “The Elfheim I know will never take his eyes off a woman’s breasts.”
“… What?”
“A woman’s breasts. Never heard of them?”
“What the hell?! Are you serious?!”
“Unfortunately, I am.”
There was nothing I could do about it. The elf he copied behaved exactly that way.
