GamingWolf
Hello! Just a quick announcement! !his story is now also available as an Audiobook by Tome Raider (Though it will be behind for a while). Have fun playing more Cyberpunk! Probably.
Finding the place she had called home during her time as a slave had been surprisingly easy. The ruins of the Empire's capital were still standing, though mostly abandoned. A few of the more intact houses at the edge of the city housed people — researchers of some kind, if Aperio had to guess.
The All-Mother did not care for them, however. She was looking for one of the few places in the city that did not fill her with disgust or dread. A place Moria and she had often used to hide from the horrors of the world.
It had only ever given them a short reprieve; neither of them wanting to stay there for more than a handful of minutes in fear of being spotted. Perhaps they always knew, Aperio mused to herself as she weaved her mana through the fabric of reality. Give us some hope so they can make us suffer more.
Suddenly, the memory no longer mattered. She had located their old hideout, and within sat Moria, who had made no attempt to hide and was instead sitting cross-legged on a cloth blanket. Her eyes were closed, and as Aperio took a moment to observe, there was barely any difference between the Moria she remembered and the one she now saw. A few more grey hairs, perhaps, or a negligible change in height, but overall she was exactly as her memories had pictured her.
She looked at peace. That was the only way Aperio could describe her. As if her life's work was now complete and she was just waiting for Aperio to come and collect.
The space behind the All-Mother unfurled itself as she took extra care to not break anything. She was excited for the meeting, while also dreading it, and her mind was already busying itself with many potential outcomes of their impending conversation. Being able to think about as many things as she could, as fast as she could, was not always a blessing.
Caethya gently brushed her hand over Aperio's arm, her magic dancing across the All-Mother's skin in its wake. "Did you find her?"
"Yes," Aperio replied, the portal behind her coalescing into a steady pool of silver and blue. She looked at Caethya for a long moment before the book in her hand vanished into her Void, freeing her arms to pick her disciple up. Wings followed arms to wrap Caethya in a hug, one that was returned by all four of the Demigoddess' limbs.
The All-Mother simply held her for a while, ignoring the looks of the other people in the room. "As much as I want to bring you with me," she said, her voice muffled by Caethya's hair as most of her face was buried in it, "I have to do this alone."
"I know," her disciple replied, rubbing Aperio's back. They held the embrace for a moment longer before Caethya spoke again. "I think it would be best if you brought Meherisha and me to the House of Healing.”
"Okay," Aperio mumbled in reply, giving the Elf one more gentle squeeze before letting her down. Once Caethya was standing on her own two feet again, the All-Mother brushed a few errant strands of hair out of her face and then shifted her gaze to the cat-eared Beastkin. "Do you wish to accompany Caethya to Ebenlowe? Given the current situation…"
She didn't need to finish the sentence for Meherisha to nod fervently and quickly seek refuge between the All-Mother and Caethya. For someone that knew Aperio was supposed to herald the end of the world she knew, the Beastkin did not seem to mind being near her at all.
Meherisha stiffened as Aperio shifted her wings slightly, moving to stand behind Caethya a little more with her ears pressed against her head. She mumbled something about them being real as she eyed the All-Mother up and down. Aperio tilted her head slightly at the action but did nothing else — she knew she did not look like any Elf the Beastkin had seen before.
"Ready?" she asked, a small smile spreading across her lips as she looked at her disciple again.
"I am," Caethya replied. "I don't know about our new friend here."
"I'm ready," Meherisha replied with only a slight shake to her voice.
The All-Mother nodded and with a slightly more force, unravelled reality to bring both of them to the House of Healing. Caethya's prayer, letting her know not to hesitate to fetch her Disciple if anything was needed, came at the same time she informed Laelia of what had happened and where she was planning on going next. Simultaneously, she extended an offer to return Mayeia to Roots and her temple if she wished to do so.
Her Scion gave her a stoic nod that would have looked weird to everyone who did not know she had just spoken to her Goddess, while Mayeia simply appeared outside of Aperio's temple, waiting to be let in.
The All-Mother obliged, sending Caethya a brief message letting her know she had been heard before turning her attention to the remaining mortals in the room. They shrunk slightly under her gaze and aura as she drew more heavily on her well. "Depending on what I learn, I might be back to punish those responsible for the corruption of the [Ancestral Guard]. Trying to hide will only make the punishment worse."
She did not wait for a reply, taking a step backwards that covered more distance than it shouldand vanishing into the portal she had created.
Moria opened her eyes at Aperio's arrival, taking a good, long look before speaking. "You look different," she said, shuffling to the side on the blanket so the All-Mother could sit. "Strong. Imposing, even. But… I guess that was to be expected."
"…Was it?" Aperio asked as she carefully sat herself down across from the one she used to call mother, spreading her wings slightly to accommodate the motion. The dread she had felt at meeting Moria had mostly disappeared. All she wanted to do at the moment was hold her surrogate mother, but she restrained herself. She did not know what Moria thought of her; how she viewed the time they had spent as slaves.
"Yes," Moria replied with a nod. "I did the same in my following lives, after all." She paused, giving Aperio a bittersweet smile as the winged Goddess grimaced at the mention of multiple lives. "You said that there was a chance you would not remember much of your life before; that you would not stop the others from interfering. I know you now blame yourself for what happened. Don't."
Moria took a breath before continuing. "I chose to go with you; chose to keep the title you have given me. I know you didn't plan for it to go as it did, even if you do not believe it yourself now."
"Chose to keep the title?" Aperio asked, not quite understanding what Moria meant. She also ignored her remarks on whether or not she had actually planned to end up as a slave. Knowing what she did, Aperio found it unlikely — but not impossible — for her old self to consider a life as a slave as atonement for her actions. "Can you simply remove it?"
Moria hesitated for a moment before she nodded. "Yes. When I die, the System gives me the choice to leave the title behind and let my soul be washed clean."
"But you don't."
"No, I do not."
Aperio hesitated for a moment and drew her wings closer to herself. Moria could, of course, be keeping the title from life to life only because being able to draw on countless lives was useful, but the All-Mother wanted to believe that Moria did it because she wanted to remember the ones she loved.
"You are still as easy to read as when you were a mortal." Moria smiled. "Yes, a large part of why I keep it is the friendship I had with you. Though… I would be lying if I said I did not consider forgetting over my last few lives."
"But why? I was a monster." Am a monster…
For all the good she was capable of doing, Aperio found it hard not to think of the times she grew angry or excited. It was so terrifyingly easy to slip up, and to hold back a little less... and thereby kill most mortals around her. She wasn't even a corporeal being to begin with, and was squeezing her normally formless self into a shell made from more mana than any God could ever hope to wield, all the while making it ever stronger so that none could force their will on her.
But the part that firmly planted her in the realm of monsters in her mind was the fact that she enjoyed it. She liked growing stronger by the second, looking like she did. Even intimidating the mortals with her mere presence brought her certain amounts of joy, despite the fact that it made living among them much harder than it needed to be. She didn't want to be scary, didn't consider herself as such either, but some primal part of every mortal was in tune with the part of herself that disagreed with that notion.
"You are intimidating, and sometimes downright frightening," Moria replied, placing her hand on Aperio's knee. "But you are not a monster."
"I condemned an entire planet to eternal punishment because their God upset me," Aperio mumbled, her eyes cast down.
Moria gave a snort in reply. "You punished a God who subsumed the souls of his followers and turned them into mindless drones that only served his will. He was a monster; you are not.
"But, I am sure I am not the first person who told you that," she continued after a moment. Moria shuffled herself slightly closer before she continued, brushing Aperio's hair out of her face with the same gesture that was ingrained in both their memories. Normally, this would follow into Moria's hands separating Aperio's hair, braiding it to keep it out of the way, but a small gesture of the All-Mother's hand stayed the Beastkin's. Despite having hair that was longer than it had been in any memory that had not been forcefully reclaimed, Aperio wanted to keep wearing it loose.
As Moria seemed unsure about how to proceed, the All-Mother gave in to the urge she had been fighting since the moment she had arrived in their secret spot. She wrapped her Beastkin friend in a hug comprised of arms and wings, and held her tightly as she dared.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, her voice carrying more power than usual, riding the surge of her emotions as she failed to restrain herself properly. She let go as soon as she noticed a slight tap against her arm and let a bit of her mana flow through Moria to find what had gone wrong. Luckily, her surrogate mother seemed to have stopped her before she went too far as Aperio could not find anything amiss.
"You still lack restraint, I see," Moria mused with a small smile on her face. The expression only lasted for a moment, however, as she flicked Aperio's forehead. "And I told you I chose this. Stop being sorry for everything. It's not your fault, and it doesn't suit you."
"I know you said you chose to come with me, but that does not change how it makes me feel," Aperio sighed. But everyone tells me to apologize less… Well, Caethya also does, but that's two for two.
Still, it remained just as she had said. It did not change the fact that she felt responsible. She was still the same person, even if she seemingly had different values now than before. But then, the crystals seem to only give me one side of my memories.
"Some of your old confidence would not go amiss, then," Moria said. "Or at least the full story and not just the half truths you seem to remember."
"I only remember what I do because I retrieved some memories by destroying dungeon cores."
Her surrogate mother sighed at the words. "I figured," she said. "Some of them have taken to forming avatars that look a lot like you. Some tweaks here and there, but it's clear where they got the idea from."
"I know," Aperio said, her aura briefly flaring in anger as she recalled her encounter in the Ebenlowe dungeon. "One of them talked to me, said I have no right to my own memories."
"I see," Moria said before falling quiet.
Silence reigned as Aperio did her best to calm herself and tried to think of something she could talk about. Moria had never been one to talk much, but she seemed more reserved around her now than she used to be. Was she only so open because I was a mortal at the time?
The gleam of a silver and blue armlet caught Aperio's eyes, taking her from her thoughts. Moria had pulled the piece of jewellery from the same black rift that seemed popular with higher levelled mortals.
What really caught the All-Mother’s attention was not its feather-like design, but the fact that it was made from the same material as the armour that usually covered her dress, and the fact that she knew this armlet was hers. It looked a little too small for her now, but Aperio felt with certainty that that would not be an issue.
"You said I should give you this when I met you again," Moria said, her voice barely a whisper. "But… I couldn't. The collar prevented me from taking out any of my soul-bound items and, even if I somehow could have, they would have just taken it away."
She ran her thumb over the metal surface, the blue becoming more pronounced as her mana reacted with the armlet. "I did not want to risk losing it — you never took it off before, after all. I don't know what it meant to you, but I think it's time you got it back. Perhaps it can help you remember."
Aperio carefully took the arm ring from Moria's hand, tilting her head at the familiarity of the item. Merely looking at it filled her with a fondness that was only ruined by an ever-present feeling of loss and regret. Why a piece of — arguably extraordinary — metal caused her to feel this, Aperio did not know.
"Thank you," she mumbled, her eyes still fixed on the armlet as she moved it between her hands for a moment longer, watching as it sparkled and glowed in the dim light. Then she slipped it over her right bicep.
Her assumption had been correct. As soon as she tried to put it on, the ring shifted slightly, just enough to fit her current form. Nothing changed after it was done, no influx of emotion or memory; just the slightly tainted feeling of fondness.
The All-Mother shifted her gaze towards Moria, her surrogate mother giving her a sad smile as she slowly turned a ring on her left index finger. It made sense that her surrogate mother was married, but going by her expression and absent-minded toying with the ring, her other half was no longer there.
Aperio wanted to wrap her surrogate mother in another hug, but hesitated. She wasn't sure if it was appropriate, or even wanted. Her rather forceful brand of physical affection was likely not enjoyed by many.
"It's okay," Moria said, embracing her de-facto daughter in a hug. "It's not the first time, and it won't be the last. Outliving the ones I love was something you made me very aware of before giving me the title.
"We have much to discuss," she continued, pulling back slightly and taking a breath. "I have found more than a few concerning things."
GamingWolf
If you like the story, do leave a rating. If you really like it, please write a review!
Want to chat? Join the Discord. Want to read ahead? Check out the Patreon.
GamingWolf
Hello! Just a quick announcement! !his story is now also available as an Audiobook by Tome Raider (Though it will be behind for a while). Have fun playing more Cyberpunk! Probably.
Finding the place she had called home during her time as a slave had been surprisingly easy. The ruins of the Empire's capital were still standing, though mostly abandoned. A few of the more intact houses at the edge of the city housed people — researchers of some kind, if Aperio had to guess.
The All-Mother did not care for them, however. She was looking for one of the few places in the city that did not fill her with disgust or dread. A place Moria and she had often used to hide from the horrors of the world.
It had only ever given them a short reprieve; neither of them wanting to stay there for more than a handful of minutes in fear of being spotted. Perhaps they always knew, Aperio mused to herself as she weaved her mana through the fabric of reality. Give us some hope so they can make us suffer more.
Suddenly, the memory no longer mattered. She had located their old hideout, and within sat Moria, who had made no attempt to hide and was instead sitting cross-legged on a cloth blanket. Her eyes were closed, and as Aperio took a moment to observe, there was barely any difference between the Moria she remembered and the one she now saw. A few more grey hairs, perhaps, or a negligible change in height, but overall she was exactly as her memories had pictured her.
She looked at peace. That was the only way Aperio could describe her. As if her life's work was now complete and she was just waiting for Aperio to come and collect.
The space behind the All-Mother unfurled itself as she took extra care to not break anything. She was excited for the meeting, while also dreading it, and her mind was already busying itself with many potential outcomes of their impending conversation. Being able to think about as many things as she could, as fast as she could, was not always a blessing.
Caethya gently brushed her hand over Aperio's arm, her magic dancing across the All-Mother's skin in its wake. "Did you find her?"
"Yes," Aperio replied, the portal behind her coalescing into a steady pool of silver and blue. She looked at Caethya for a long moment before the book in her hand vanished into her Void, freeing her arms to pick her disciple up. Wings followed arms to wrap Caethya in a hug, one that was returned by all four of the Demigoddess' limbs.
The All-Mother simply held her for a while, ignoring the looks of the other people in the room. "As much as I want to bring you with me," she said, her voice muffled by Caethya's hair as most of her face was buried in it, "I have to do this alone."
"I know," her disciple replied, rubbing Aperio's back. They held the embrace for a moment longer before Caethya spoke again. "I think it would be best if you brought Meherisha and me to the House of Healing.”
"Okay," Aperio mumbled in reply, giving the Elf one more gentle squeeze before letting her down. Once Caethya was standing on her own two feet again, the All-Mother brushed a few errant strands of hair out of her face and then shifted her gaze to the cat-eared Beastkin. "Do you wish to accompany Caethya to Ebenlowe? Given the current situation…"
She didn't need to finish the sentence for Meherisha to nod fervently and quickly seek refuge between the All-Mother and Caethya. For someone that knew Aperio was supposed to herald the end of the world she knew, the Beastkin did not seem to mind being near her at all.
Meherisha stiffened as Aperio shifted her wings slightly, moving to stand behind Caethya a little more with her ears pressed against her head. She mumbled something about them being real as she eyed the All-Mother up and down. Aperio tilted her head slightly at the action but did nothing else — she knew she did not look like any Elf the Beastkin had seen before.
"Ready?" she asked, a small smile spreading across her lips as she looked at her disciple again.
"I am," Caethya replied. "I don't know about our new friend here."
"I'm ready," Meherisha replied with only a slight shake to her voice.
The All-Mother nodded and with a slightly more force, unravelled reality to bring both of them to the House of Healing. Caethya's prayer, letting her know not to hesitate to fetch her Disciple if anything was needed, came at the same time she informed Laelia of what had happened and where she was planning on going next. Simultaneously, she extended an offer to return Mayeia to Roots and her temple if she wished to do so.
Her Scion gave her a stoic nod that would have looked weird to everyone who did not know she had just spoken to her Goddess, while Mayeia simply appeared outside of Aperio's temple, waiting to be let in.
The All-Mother obliged, sending Caethya a brief message letting her know she had been heard before turning her attention to the remaining mortals in the room. They shrunk slightly under her gaze and aura as she drew more heavily on her well. "Depending on what I learn, I might be back to punish those responsible for the corruption of the [Ancestral Guard]. Trying to hide will only make the punishment worse."
She did not wait for a reply, taking a step backwards that covered more distance than it shouldand vanishing into the portal she had created.
Moria opened her eyes at Aperio's arrival, taking a good, long look before speaking. "You look different," she said, shuffling to the side on the blanket so the All-Mother could sit. "Strong. Imposing, even. But… I guess that was to be expected."
"…Was it?" Aperio asked as she carefully sat herself down across from the one she used to call mother, spreading her wings slightly to accommodate the motion. The dread she had felt at meeting Moria had mostly disappeared. All she wanted to do at the moment was hold her surrogate mother, but she restrained herself. She did not know what Moria thought of her; how she viewed the time they had spent as slaves.
"Yes," Moria replied with a nod. "I did the same in my following lives, after all." She paused, giving Aperio a bittersweet smile as the winged Goddess grimaced at the mention of multiple lives. "You said that there was a chance you would not remember much of your life before; that you would not stop the others from interfering. I know you now blame yourself for what happened. Don't."
Moria took a breath before continuing. "I chose to go with you; chose to keep the title you have given me. I know you didn't plan for it to go as it did, even if you do not believe it yourself now."
"Chose to keep the title?" Aperio asked, not quite understanding what Moria meant. She also ignored her remarks on whether or not she had actually planned to end up as a slave. Knowing what she did, Aperio found it unlikely — but not impossible — for her old self to consider a life as a slave as atonement for her actions. "Can you simply remove it?"
Moria hesitated for a moment before she nodded. "Yes. When I die, the System gives me the choice to leave the title behind and let my soul be washed clean."
"But you don't."
"No, I do not."
Aperio hesitated for a moment and drew her wings closer to herself. Moria could, of course, be keeping the title from life to life only because being able to draw on countless lives was useful, but the All-Mother wanted to believe that Moria did it because she wanted to remember the ones she loved.
"You are still as easy to read as when you were a mortal." Moria smiled. "Yes, a large part of why I keep it is the friendship I had with you. Though… I would be lying if I said I did not consider forgetting over my last few lives."
"But why? I was a monster." Am a monster…
For all the good she was capable of doing, Aperio found it hard not to think of the times she grew angry or excited. It was so terrifyingly easy to slip up, and to hold back a little less... and thereby kill most mortals around her. She wasn't even a corporeal being to begin with, and was squeezing her normally formless self into a shell made from more mana than any God could ever hope to wield, all the while making it ever stronger so that none could force their will on her.
But the part that firmly planted her in the realm of monsters in her mind was the fact that she enjoyed it. She liked growing stronger by the second, looking like she did. Even intimidating the mortals with her mere presence brought her certain amounts of joy, despite the fact that it made living among them much harder than it needed to be. She didn't want to be scary, didn't consider herself as such either, but some primal part of every mortal was in tune with the part of herself that disagreed with that notion.
"You are intimidating, and sometimes downright frightening," Moria replied, placing her hand on Aperio's knee. "But you are not a monster."
"I condemned an entire planet to eternal punishment because their God upset me," Aperio mumbled, her eyes cast down.
Moria gave a snort in reply. "You punished a God who subsumed the souls of his followers and turned them into mindless drones that only served his will. He was a monster; you are not.
"But, I am sure I am not the first person who told you that," she continued after a moment. Moria shuffled herself slightly closer before she continued, brushing Aperio's hair out of her face with the same gesture that was ingrained in both their memories. Normally, this would follow into Moria's hands separating Aperio's hair, braiding it to keep it out of the way, but a small gesture of the All-Mother's hand stayed the Beastkin's. Despite having hair that was longer than it had been in any memory that had not been forcefully reclaimed, Aperio wanted to keep wearing it loose.
As Moria seemed unsure about how to proceed, the All-Mother gave in to the urge she had been fighting since the moment she had arrived in their secret spot. She wrapped her Beastkin friend in a hug comprised of arms and wings, and held her tightly as she dared.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, her voice carrying more power than usual, riding the surge of her emotions as she failed to restrain herself properly. She let go as soon as she noticed a slight tap against her arm and let a bit of her mana flow through Moria to find what had gone wrong. Luckily, her surrogate mother seemed to have stopped her before she went too far as Aperio could not find anything amiss.
"You still lack restraint, I see," Moria mused with a small smile on her face. The expression only lasted for a moment, however, as she flicked Aperio's forehead. "And I told you I chose this. Stop being sorry for everything. It's not your fault, and it doesn't suit you."
"I know you said you chose to come with me, but that does not change how it makes me feel," Aperio sighed. But everyone tells me to apologize less… Well, Caethya also does, but that's two for two.
Still, it remained just as she had said. It did not change the fact that she felt responsible. She was still the same person, even if she seemingly had different values now than before. But then, the crystals seem to only give me one side of my memories.
"Some of your old confidence would not go amiss, then," Moria said. "Or at least the full story and not just the half truths you seem to remember."
"I only remember what I do because I retrieved some memories by destroying dungeon cores."
Her surrogate mother sighed at the words. "I figured," she said. "Some of them have taken to forming avatars that look a lot like you. Some tweaks here and there, but it's clear where they got the idea from."
"I know," Aperio said, her aura briefly flaring in anger as she recalled her encounter in the Ebenlowe dungeon. "One of them talked to me, said I have no right to my own memories."
"I see," Moria said before falling quiet.
Silence reigned as Aperio did her best to calm herself and tried to think of something she could talk about. Moria had never been one to talk much, but she seemed more reserved around her now than she used to be. Was she only so open because I was a mortal at the time?
The gleam of a silver and blue armlet caught Aperio's eyes, taking her from her thoughts. Moria had pulled the piece of jewellery from the same black rift that seemed popular with higher levelled mortals.
What really caught the All-Mother’s attention was not its feather-like design, but the fact that it was made from the same material as the armour that usually covered her dress, and the fact that she knew this armlet was hers. It looked a little too small for her now, but Aperio felt with certainty that that would not be an issue.
"You said I should give you this when I met you again," Moria said, her voice barely a whisper. "But… I couldn't. The collar prevented me from taking out any of my soul-bound items and, even if I somehow could have, they would have just taken it away."
She ran her thumb over the metal surface, the blue becoming more pronounced as her mana reacted with the armlet. "I did not want to risk losing it — you never took it off before, after all. I don't know what it meant to you, but I think it's time you got it back. Perhaps it can help you remember."
Aperio carefully took the arm ring from Moria's hand, tilting her head at the familiarity of the item. Merely looking at it filled her with a fondness that was only ruined by an ever-present feeling of loss and regret. Why a piece of — arguably extraordinary — metal caused her to feel this, Aperio did not know.
"Thank you," she mumbled, her eyes still fixed on the armlet as she moved it between her hands for a moment longer, watching as it sparkled and glowed in the dim light. Then she slipped it over her right bicep.
Her assumption had been correct. As soon as she tried to put it on, the ring shifted slightly, just enough to fit her current form. Nothing changed after it was done, no influx of emotion or memory; just the slightly tainted feeling of fondness.
The All-Mother shifted her gaze towards Moria, her surrogate mother giving her a sad smile as she slowly turned a ring on her left index finger. It made sense that her surrogate mother was married, but going by her expression and absent-minded toying with the ring, her other half was no longer there.
Aperio wanted to wrap her surrogate mother in another hug, but hesitated. She wasn't sure if it was appropriate, or even wanted. Her rather forceful brand of physical affection was likely not enjoyed by many.
"It's okay," Moria said, embracing her de-facto daughter in a hug. "It's not the first time, and it won't be the last. Outliving the ones I love was something you made me very aware of before giving me the title.
"We have much to discuss," she continued, pulling back slightly and taking a breath. "I have found more than a few concerning things."
GamingWolf
If you like the story, do leave a rating. If you really like it, please write a review!
Want to chat? Join the Discord. Want to read ahead? Check out the Patreon.
