The thoughts about learning baking were pushed back as she had her finals to write. That was the worst exam ever for my lady because it was nothing more than route memorization, and she sucked at it. So, the next day at the Academy had been disheartening to her, and we were sharing the shades of my usual tree in their afternoon break. Faces strapped with misery and sighs, devoid of cheers at having submitted the commendation letter.
“How hard can it be?” I repeated Letitia’s words with a smile. “It’s just rote memorization, isn’t it? Geography, politics, gen on spells, history, military tactics; if your memory can’t retain this bit of information, how will you lead the kingdom should you succeed in overthrowing the kingdom?”
“You forgot the exclusive subject on the royal family, Ruddy,” Casey added with a sigh.
“Those bastards! Why the hell should we care about who is the granddad of the ruler’s cousin?!” Beth gritted her teeth. “I hardly remember the name of the ruler, let alone names and years of the rulers before him. And their concubines. And their history. I wish I could just sit in the royal tomb to write the exam.”
My lady leaned against my arm, which was draped with a thick cloak. “I need to get a passing grade too. But all I have done is sleep throughout my years in the Academy. Why should we remember the history of the kingdom that is about to become history itself? They’ll revoke our license if we fail the damned exam.”
“What’s all this traitorous talk about overthrowing the kingdom?” Beth raised her brows. “I’m curious. Maybe I could give a hand.”
“That is for the future, lady Beth,” I said with a grin. “For now, all three of you should focus on clearing the exam. Even if you overthrow the kingdom, you cannot overthrow the prestige of the Academy.”
Wasteful it was, but no one wanted to debate with me on differing ideologies.
“Damn it!” Beth wrapped her arms around Casey and rested her head in the nook of her neck. “I just want to sleep with my Casey.”
Casey turned rosy, and my lady giggled.
“Leti isn’t embarrassed anymore,” Beth grinned and shot her a suspicious glance. “Which means you have become a woman.”
“We did sleep together,” my lady said without faltering, but her ears had turned red. “But Rudolf didn’t even touch me.”
Casey pulled my lady’s cheeks. She minded less and less about her friend’s touches these days, and she blamed the fact on me. Not that I understood why.
“Why are you getting derailed? Shouldn’t exams be your prime concern?” I asked, and three sighs followed.
“They are holding them for the first time, mongrel,” my lady said, squinting her eyes. “Our seniors never got tested for their knowledge, and even brutes like us cleared the exams with ease. Are they trying to fail us deliberately? The new Academ is the bastard responsible for our horrendous plight.”
“And who is to be blamed for the sudden change of Academ?” I shook my head and sighs followed again.
“Never expected our ploys to strike us back,” Casey said, fiddling with Beth’s fingers. “But Yura has suffered enough. They dismissed her, but she is still a part of the congregation.”
“And you should hope she will remain in the Congregation until it gets dissolves,” I said, and my lady nodded. “They are not as noble as you think they are. They killed my lady’s mother’s mentor.”
“Wait, wait,” Beth raised her arm and processed the words. “Lady Chantelle’s mentor, you mean?”
“Joane,” my lady said with fondness that I didn’t appreciate. But, well, she was still a mortal. “They killed her.”
“Isn’t Yura in danger?” Beth was alarmed, and her grip on Casey’s arm tightened. That was a waist a few moments ago, but they were shifting their postures too fast for this undead to document. I leaned against the tree, disinterested in the conversation that followed.
Mortals weren’t my problems, and if Yura died, I would gladly celebrate her death by eating bread. Crying over the obvious death of mortals was a stupid thing to do, and grieving for them was more redundant. Why not repent when they were alive if it pains the mortals so much? Laughing at funerals was a natural occurrence if the undead attended it. And my casual gesture had been enough for my lady to raise her guards against me. For close to ten years.
Next time you see a person laughing at a funeral, try to feed them bread. You might have an army of undead at your command. Given that you have an infinite supply of bread. Otherwise, your funeral will be filled with laughter.
“What do you say, Ruddy?” Casey asked, and I opened my eyes.
“I’m not interested in saving anyone,” I shrugged, which earned me three confused glances.
“What saving, Rudolf?” my lady raised her brows. “We were talking about late-night study sessions here. Yura is among the strongest mages in the kingdom. Kill her? I doubt even a Cognescente mage will escape unscathed against her.”
“Ah,” I rubbed my head and earned a smack from my lady.
“You should always listen to my conversation, even if you don’t want to listen to other girls,” her smugness was unconcealed, and she curved her lips.
“Look at this brat,” Beth rolled her eyes. “Stop flaunting your butler, Leti. I have a year over you, so I remember much more stuff than you. If you don’t curb that conceitedness, we won’t help you.”
My lady glared at them and turned to me.
“I don’t have a clue about the granddads of some moths, my lady. Can you distinguish one fly from the other?”
Letitia sighed and turned to the two girls. “Then I will order you to help me.”
“Request, Leti,” Casey smiled.
“Help me,” my lady mumbled, grumbled, and cursed them multiple times.
Beth and Casey just laughed and didn’t take any offense. They knew how much my lady hated asking for favors. That was probably the reason why all the mages had rejected her request. Ordering them to write her a commendation letter was hardly a befitting quality of a student of the Academy.
“Then, we’ll stay overnight at your mansion again,” Beth said, her smile too bright as she gazed at Casey. “Hesroeder mansion doesn’t let us sleep in the same room, so your abode will be our escapade. Also, I am glad that the bitch died a terrible death.”
“So I am,” my lady smiled. “Never expected a political move to benefit me greatly. The heir is not getting married anytime soon, so no horny bastard will get into the manor. If any men eye for our mansion, we’ll clip their manhood and feed their carcass to Yule.” She glanced at me. “Not you, Rudolf. You are not a man. You are mine.”
I was not a mortal, but why did I feel insulted?
Casey giggled. “Why do you hate men so much, Letitia? Did your first love sow the seed of poison?”
Casey earned a glare, and she dropped the question without prodding. Readhead had become a taboo topic in my lady’s mind and made her extremely uncomfortable. Well, she was under the bindings of the rules imposed by the world, so her antics weren’t her fault.
I ruffled her hair, sensing her downcast mood. This earned me a loaf of bread later that evening. I decided to elevate her spirit every time she was down and happily nibbled on the bread as we sauntered back through the familiar streets.
Letitia stopped by a couple of stores to check on the fish and then walked toward the abandoned locality past the mercenary guild. The same one where the summoning ritual had taken place. The locality hadn’t changed much and adorned the same uncharacteristic gloom and a few sprawled drunkards. There were no signs of blood anywhere and no cloaked figures roaming in the locality. Karleburo was dead, and so was her cult in the capital. In the end, I had earned a demon dog, while everyone else had just suffered losses.
“This won’t do, my lady,” I said, and she nodded.
“Re-establishing this locality will take a lot of money, Rudolf,” she pointed at the decrepit building that was supposed to belong to her mother. “This was Nerken Dukedome once,” she glanced at the collapsed buildings fondly. “I don’t have many memories of my grandparents, but I have heard they were great people. From common folks, because our history books have wiped out their existence.”
“They were, my lady,” I said, thinking back to my first meeting with the Duke. “He butchered traitors of his house in the main hall, right before everyone to set an example. He even bought ample loaves for the mansion, and I often stole them from the kitchen. The Duke caught me once, sent me off with two loaves, and told me that he admired my courage to steal under his nose. When he went off to the north, to his execution ground, I saw him at the gates, high and majesty, proud to have tried to overthrow the King, yet humble enough to accept that he had failed. Lady Chantelle was locked in your manor, so she didn’t have a chance to see his valor and detested her house until her last breath. She was a blind mortal who strived for uprightness, fell for scum, and died a hopeless death…”
“It’s all right, mongrel,” my lady said, clutching her hands to her fists. “I was young, and all I remember is my mother’s love and not what kind of person she was in the eyes of outsiders.”
“But,” I rubbed her hair, “if she had been clever, astute, and shrewd, I would have never met my villainess.”
“Are you trying to earn a few extra loaves?” my lady released her fist as her lips curled up.
“Am I that easy to read?” I shrugged and earned a smack.
We tramped through the broken roads, away from the abandoned inn that was the entrance to the secret chamber underneath. It had been chained and locked, despite the crumbling door, and a seal of Escavs, a hawk silhouette, lingered on over the large lock. Maybe they had found the source of conflict regardless of their crappy investigation skills.
The Duke manor was larger than the Marquis's mansion but jam-packed with vines that climbed to the shut windows on the turrets on either side. The arched entryway was broken in the middle, and spiked rusted gates made it hard to get a clear view of the overgrown lawn within. The signs of forced entry were still visible on the broken compound walls, and I remembered my days as a child in the mansion.
The manor was always bustling with activity and filled with the laughter of brawny men of the army. All I heard now was the sound of wind blowing past the overgrown lawn, the frail stalks rubbing against each other. I remembered lady Chantelle’s vain attempts to meet Brackett and Duke’s admonishment we got. Not fond memories, but amusing ones, much better than those from my world. No curses, no burning at stake, no hatred. Just the unwarranted kindness of an innocent lady who was too pure for this dirty world.
My lady retained the features of lady Chantelle, albeit the differences in their countenance were too stark for comparison. And I didn’t quite like the kind mortal lady Chantelle was, but I couldn’t say the same for my lady.
“Your mother,” I turned to Letitia, “was a wasteful mortal, my lady.”
My lady smiled at that. “That means she was too good to be true, right?”
I smiled and didn’t answer. Of course, my lady took it as a yes, and hugged my waist.
“I wish I were older than you in this world,” she said, staring up from my bosom. Her chin hurt my chest, and I decided not to point it out. “For many reasons. Too many to count and point out.”
Semi-Analogue
And that was the 100th Chapter!
Thanks for sticking around, undead readers.
Best,
Semi
The thoughts about learning baking were pushed back as she had her finals to write. That was the worst exam ever for my lady because it was nothing more than route memorization, and she sucked at it. So, the next day at the Academy had been disheartening to her, and we were sharing the shades of my usual tree in their afternoon break. Faces strapped with misery and sighs, devoid of cheers at having submitted the commendation letter.
“How hard can it be?” I repeated Letitia’s words with a smile. “It’s just rote memorization, isn’t it? Geography, politics, gen on spells, history, military tactics; if your memory can’t retain this bit of information, how will you lead the kingdom should you succeed in overthrowing the kingdom?”
“You forgot the exclusive subject on the royal family, Ruddy,” Casey added with a sigh.
“Those bastards! Why the hell should we care about who is the granddad of the ruler’s cousin?!” Beth gritted her teeth. “I hardly remember the name of the ruler, let alone names and years of the rulers before him. And their concubines. And their history. I wish I could just sit in the royal tomb to write the exam.”
My lady leaned against my arm, which was draped with a thick cloak. “I need to get a passing grade too. But all I have done is sleep throughout my years in the Academy. Why should we remember the history of the kingdom that is about to become history itself? They’ll revoke our license if we fail the damned exam.”
“What’s all this traitorous talk about overthrowing the kingdom?” Beth raised her brows. “I’m curious. Maybe I could give a hand.”
“That is for the future, lady Beth,” I said with a grin. “For now, all three of you should focus on clearing the exam. Even if you overthrow the kingdom, you cannot overthrow the prestige of the Academy.”
Wasteful it was, but no one wanted to debate with me on differing ideologies.
“Damn it!” Beth wrapped her arms around Casey and rested her head in the nook of her neck. “I just want to sleep with my Casey.”
Casey turned rosy, and my lady giggled.
“Leti isn’t embarrassed anymore,” Beth grinned and shot her a suspicious glance. “Which means you have become a woman.”
“We did sleep together,” my lady said without faltering, but her ears had turned red. “But Rudolf didn’t even touch me.”
Casey pulled my lady’s cheeks. She minded less and less about her friend’s touches these days, and she blamed the fact on me. Not that I understood why.
“Why are you getting derailed? Shouldn’t exams be your prime concern?” I asked, and three sighs followed.
“They are holding them for the first time, mongrel,” my lady said, squinting her eyes. “Our seniors never got tested for their knowledge, and even brutes like us cleared the exams with ease. Are they trying to fail us deliberately? The new Academ is the bastard responsible for our horrendous plight.”
“And who is to be blamed for the sudden change of Academ?” I shook my head and sighs followed again.
“Never expected our ploys to strike us back,” Casey said, fiddling with Beth’s fingers. “But Yura has suffered enough. They dismissed her, but she is still a part of the congregation.”
“And you should hope she will remain in the Congregation until it gets dissolves,” I said, and my lady nodded. “They are not as noble as you think they are. They killed my lady’s mother’s mentor.”
“Wait, wait,” Beth raised her arm and processed the words. “Lady Chantelle’s mentor, you mean?”
“Joane,” my lady said with fondness that I didn’t appreciate. But, well, she was still a mortal. “They killed her.”
“Isn’t Yura in danger?” Beth was alarmed, and her grip on Casey’s arm tightened. That was a waist a few moments ago, but they were shifting their postures too fast for this undead to document. I leaned against the tree, disinterested in the conversation that followed.
Mortals weren’t my problems, and if Yura died, I would gladly celebrate her death by eating bread. Crying over the obvious death of mortals was a stupid thing to do, and grieving for them was more redundant. Why not repent when they were alive if it pains the mortals so much? Laughing at funerals was a natural occurrence if the undead attended it. And my casual gesture had been enough for my lady to raise her guards against me. For close to ten years.
Next time you see a person laughing at a funeral, try to feed them bread. You might have an army of undead at your command. Given that you have an infinite supply of bread. Otherwise, your funeral will be filled with laughter.
“What do you say, Ruddy?” Casey asked, and I opened my eyes.
“I’m not interested in saving anyone,” I shrugged, which earned me three confused glances.
“What saving, Rudolf?” my lady raised her brows. “We were talking about late-night study sessions here. Yura is among the strongest mages in the kingdom. Kill her? I doubt even a Cognescente mage will escape unscathed against her.”
“Ah,” I rubbed my head and earned a smack from my lady.
“You should always listen to my conversation, even if you don’t want to listen to other girls,” her smugness was unconcealed, and she curved her lips.
“Look at this brat,” Beth rolled her eyes. “Stop flaunting your butler, Leti. I have a year over you, so I remember much more stuff than you. If you don’t curb that conceitedness, we won’t help you.”
My lady glared at them and turned to me.
“I don’t have a clue about the granddads of some moths, my lady. Can you distinguish one fly from the other?”
Letitia sighed and turned to the two girls. “Then I will order you to help me.”
“Request, Leti,” Casey smiled.
“Help me,” my lady mumbled, grumbled, and cursed them multiple times.
Beth and Casey just laughed and didn’t take any offense. They knew how much my lady hated asking for favors. That was probably the reason why all the mages had rejected her request. Ordering them to write her a commendation letter was hardly a befitting quality of a student of the Academy.
“Then, we’ll stay overnight at your mansion again,” Beth said, her smile too bright as she gazed at Casey. “Hesroeder mansion doesn’t let us sleep in the same room, so your abode will be our escapade. Also, I am glad that the bitch died a terrible death.”
“So I am,” my lady smiled. “Never expected a political move to benefit me greatly. The heir is not getting married anytime soon, so no horny bastard will get into the manor. If any men eye for our mansion, we’ll clip their manhood and feed their carcass to Yule.” She glanced at me. “Not you, Rudolf. You are not a man. You are mine.”
I was not a mortal, but why did I feel insulted?
Casey giggled. “Why do you hate men so much, Letitia? Did your first love sow the seed of poison?”
Casey earned a glare, and she dropped the question without prodding. Readhead had become a taboo topic in my lady’s mind and made her extremely uncomfortable. Well, she was under the bindings of the rules imposed by the world, so her antics weren’t her fault.
I ruffled her hair, sensing her downcast mood. This earned me a loaf of bread later that evening. I decided to elevate her spirit every time she was down and happily nibbled on the bread as we sauntered back through the familiar streets.
Letitia stopped by a couple of stores to check on the fish and then walked toward the abandoned locality past the mercenary guild. The same one where the summoning ritual had taken place. The locality hadn’t changed much and adorned the same uncharacteristic gloom and a few sprawled drunkards. There were no signs of blood anywhere and no cloaked figures roaming in the locality. Karleburo was dead, and so was her cult in the capital. In the end, I had earned a demon dog, while everyone else had just suffered losses.
“This won’t do, my lady,” I said, and she nodded.
“Re-establishing this locality will take a lot of money, Rudolf,” she pointed at the decrepit building that was supposed to belong to her mother. “This was Nerken Dukedome once,” she glanced at the collapsed buildings fondly. “I don’t have many memories of my grandparents, but I have heard they were great people. From common folks, because our history books have wiped out their existence.”
“They were, my lady,” I said, thinking back to my first meeting with the Duke. “He butchered traitors of his house in the main hall, right before everyone to set an example. He even bought ample loaves for the mansion, and I often stole them from the kitchen. The Duke caught me once, sent me off with two loaves, and told me that he admired my courage to steal under his nose. When he went off to the north, to his execution ground, I saw him at the gates, high and majesty, proud to have tried to overthrow the King, yet humble enough to accept that he had failed. Lady Chantelle was locked in your manor, so she didn’t have a chance to see his valor and detested her house until her last breath. She was a blind mortal who strived for uprightness, fell for scum, and died a hopeless death…”
“It’s all right, mongrel,” my lady said, clutching her hands to her fists. “I was young, and all I remember is my mother’s love and not what kind of person she was in the eyes of outsiders.”
“But,” I rubbed her hair, “if she had been clever, astute, and shrewd, I would have never met my villainess.”
“Are you trying to earn a few extra loaves?” my lady released her fist as her lips curled up.
“Am I that easy to read?” I shrugged and earned a smack.
We tramped through the broken roads, away from the abandoned inn that was the entrance to the secret chamber underneath. It had been chained and locked, despite the crumbling door, and a seal of Escavs, a hawk silhouette, lingered on over the large lock. Maybe they had found the source of conflict regardless of their crappy investigation skills.
The Duke manor was larger than the Marquis's mansion but jam-packed with vines that climbed to the shut windows on the turrets on either side. The arched entryway was broken in the middle, and spiked rusted gates made it hard to get a clear view of the overgrown lawn within. The signs of forced entry were still visible on the broken compound walls, and I remembered my days as a child in the mansion.
The manor was always bustling with activity and filled with the laughter of brawny men of the army. All I heard now was the sound of wind blowing past the overgrown lawn, the frail stalks rubbing against each other. I remembered lady Chantelle’s vain attempts to meet Brackett and Duke’s admonishment we got. Not fond memories, but amusing ones, much better than those from my world. No curses, no burning at stake, no hatred. Just the unwarranted kindness of an innocent lady who was too pure for this dirty world.
My lady retained the features of lady Chantelle, albeit the differences in their countenance were too stark for comparison. And I didn’t quite like the kind mortal lady Chantelle was, but I couldn’t say the same for my lady.
“Your mother,” I turned to Letitia, “was a wasteful mortal, my lady.”
My lady smiled at that. “That means she was too good to be true, right?”
I smiled and didn’t answer. Of course, my lady took it as a yes, and hugged my waist.
“I wish I were older than you in this world,” she said, staring up from my bosom. Her chin hurt my chest, and I decided not to point it out. “For many reasons. Too many to count and point out.”
Semi-Analogue
And that was the 100th Chapter!
Thanks for sticking around, undead readers.
Best,
Semi
