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Published at 18th of October 2022 06:02:35 PM


Chapter 11

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The model A beauty of the hook-and-snare department

[Let me tell you a joke, Ren Qinming is a good person]

[Thank you King of Hell, I’m clear headed now, prayer hands.jpg x3]

[That is to say, your dad is still your dad and Ren Qinming hasn’t changed, it’s just that we are different from teacher Ruan, cupping my fist.jpg]

[At best, we’re just wife fans, but he belongs to a wife-con, doge]

[No one has any problems with me calling him a double standard King of Hell right (……]

[Ren Qinming? A sticky sweet pea? It doesn’t exist. Just that whoever successfully chases teacher Ruan becomes sweet, I’m just a lemon.jpg]

On the other side, Ruan Song was on the balcony of the log cabin’s living room to take a call.

Although the show was still being filmed, it wasn’t possible not to have any privacy at all within the 19 days of broadcasting the show, to the point where they wouldn’t even be able to pick up private phone calls.

This time, the person who called Ruan Song’s phone was an unknown phone number from City A.

It was normal to receive calls from strange numbers in this industry.

From movie makers, directors, television and movie companies alike, to fellow screenwriters, there are always all kinds of strange people emerging from every corner.

It could also be an old friend from 10,000 years ago, calling to borrow money.

So when Ruan Song picked up the phone, he used the other’s voice, yet completely couldn’t figure out who the other was.

The other unexpectedly also very strangely chose not to introduce himself, and as soon as the call connected, said: “You can tell me any requests that you have.”

Ruan Song felt it was completely inexplicable: “What do you mean ‘any requirements’?”

“Regarding your……” The man paused, and his low voice could be heard, “You don’t know who I am?”

“???”

Ruan Song frowned on the spot, ‘who are you’1: “Why should I know who you are?”

The person on the other side of the phone sank into silence, as if he completely didn’t consider that Ruan Song wouldn’t recognize him: “……We met not too long ago.”

Ruan Song felt his blood pressure rise.

Just as he wondered where this person came from, he felt a strange sense of deja-vu and a certain candidate passed through his mind.

Through the superior radio equipment in the living room, the viewers in the broadcast room could hear Ruan Song angrily laughing with a ‘ha’ from outside on the balcony.

“After messing around for a while, turns out it’s still you. Didi you’re really unwilling to give up. Does your family have an ore mine? Such a big project doesn’t have anything else requiring your attention? All day long you’re fighting to death with me.”

The bullet screen who had been ‘eavesdropping’ up to here immediately exploded, and comments flew by quickly.

[Wow, what exactly is teacher Ruan doing, feels like he’s really amazing]

[Is the other party begging him?]

[When will the program team announce their careers, wow, anxious]

[Before, everyone who participated in this show were all celebrities. It’s the first time an amateur that can’t be found on Baidu or Baiku2 appeared]

[What kind of big project is he talking about, he can’t be an overbearing president or something right, xs3]

[The person my ge likes must be remarkable!]

[The other party fighting him to the death must mean that teacher Ruan’s position in the project definitely can’t be replaced! Extraordinary core competitiveness!]

[How daring, with this kind of character, his professional capability is definitely not lacking (?]

When Ruan Song casually ordered a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans from XBao4, he would never have dreamed that it would have been interpreted to this degree of an artistic concept.

Even more unimaginable was the fact that he met a person as socially inept5 as this.

“This is the first project that I’m personally handling. I hope it can be done beautifully, so I insist on using your design as the starting point for the story. We are willing to make concessions on how much remuneration you want and the right to the signature on the project.”

Gu Yuzhou praised himself for speaking words that were quite sincere and moving in both emotion and reason.

But in exchange he only received Ruan Song’s increasingly speechless sneer: “Didi, why don’t you tell me your background, exactly how old are you this year, 25? 23? Even if you don’t understand the rules, have you not gone on Weibo and seen the hot search?”

Everyone at that age either strove towards money, or towards happiness. Who cares about ‘insisting’, or ‘hope’.

Before, Ruan Song was willing to bend and submit because he lacked money.

Now he didn’t lack money after participating on a variety show and his wild energy immediately returned. His temper was firmer than anyone else.

He originally believed that as long as the show broadcast, this person would see him and immediately calm down.

After all, being ‘Ren Qinming’s partner’ was equivalent to planting a money tree in your backyard, and even just by moving one’s toes, one should know that he didn’t lack this bit of money.

Finally, the person on the other side was very much at a loss: “I really haven’t gone on, what’s wrong with the hot search on Weibo?”

Ruan Song was completely unwilling to continue speaking with him, and only felt he was still speaking with a simple filmmaker: “I don’t understand how much money your family has for this project to send out someone with connections like you to discuss matters. But in short, don’t find me, I’m now unhappy, and I’m not happy with any conditions.”

[Good guy, “I’m not happy with any conditions”, which proletariat out there is crying out of jealousy, wuwuwu]

[Teacher Ruan scolds people just like he’s scolding his grandson, he’s too A6]

[I’ve completely climbed the wall, I have goosebumps all over my body hearing teacher Ruan call someone ‘didi’, and my knees directly fell to the ground to kneel]

[Also I unexpectedly ship it again! In comparison, teacher Ruan spoils my ge too much 15551]

Ren Qinming had returned after washing off the foundation in the neighboring filming site, and had just happened to see Ruan Song hang up the phone on the balcony.

He meticulously hid his curiosity as much as possible: “Who called?”

Ruan Song, who had no idea that the soundproofing here was extremely poor, understatedly tossed out two words: “Scam call.”

Once again, the bullet screen began to “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”.

[How can someone seem innately wild like this!!!]

[Ah……I love arrogant brothers, arrogant brothers are first under heaven]

[Teacher Ruan, is fully deserving of being the model A beauty of the hook-and-snare department, applause.jpg x3]

[I’m begging you, please directly debut wuwuwu]

On the other hand, Qin Sijia and Zheng Qing’s photo shoot went without a hitch.

By the time the three pairs completed their makeup photos and the filming crew left in turn, the director called everyone to the living room, pulled out an envelope, and placed it on the coffee table.

The bullet screen who was familiar with the events in the show had already announced what was inside the envelope.

[Guess how much living expenses the director group plans to give the six guests in this season]

[The first season was 2000, the second, third, fourth was 1800, the fifth was 1500. Feels like this season only has 1200 left, doge]

[If it’s 1200, if you average it over 19 days then it’s 63 per day, and if you average it again over 6 people, then every person can only eat 10 yuan, facepalm.jpg]

[Then this thoroughly means that they can’t be lazy and order out. They have to cook each meal themselves, bared teeth.jpg]

Regarding their living expenses, the worst outcome in the guests’ heart was also 1200.

Living halfway up a mountain and being cut off from the rest of the world, even if they wanted to order takeout, it was estimated that no business would be willing to come.

As a result, the director group opened the envelope, and pulled a red sheet of grandpa Mao7 out of the envelope one by one.

The bullet screen stared blankly, and the guests also stared blankly.

The director group was very satisfied with everyone’s reaction, and announced: “The living expenses for the sixth season of our ‘19 Days of Cohabitation’ is a large sum of 500 yuan! Hope everyone enjoys your holiday!”

[?????]

[500 yuan for 6 people?? The program team finally went crazy]

[Hahahahaha fuck, 19 days with 500 yuan, that means 6 people can only spend 26 yuan? Even if they bought their own ingredients and cooked themselves it’s not enough]

[‘Large sum’]

[Don’t tell me in the next season, they won’t give living expenses at all, doge]

Jiang Qiqi was the honorable daughter of her family, and she has never experienced this kind of battle. She was the first to stare widely at the director: “Are you going to make us go up the mountain to dig for tree roots to survive? 500 yuan will be gone after you order a few dishes!”

[Laughing, Qiqi is shocked.jpg]

[Although 500 yuan is not as bad as just being able to cover a few dishes, but it really isn’t enough to buy ingredients for six people, doge]

The director group also didn’t directly answer the question, and only said 500 yuan was enough to survive.

They even said there was no need to go out to buy ingredients as the guests in previous seasons have done. Later, a buyer would count the items and ingredients they needed.

All transactions are also conducted at market prices.

Then the next morning, the buyer would send all the items written on the list to the bottom of the mountain, and they would have to send someone down to pick it up.

When they went to pick it up, they even had to discuss what they wanted to buy the day after that.

Because in the following 19 days, the buyer will not go up the mountain again, and the only time to get in touch with them is when they exchange items in the morning.

“Then do we also only know the prices of the ingredients at that time?” Liang Yi brought up the most important problem at present.

If they only knew the price when they exchanged items, then it would be tantamount to getting taken advantage of, and would be adding insult to injury to their meager fund of 500.

Fortunately, the director group pulled out a QR code that was half-covered in a mosaic: “You can ask for the price online. After you discuss who is responsible for asking for the price, just add this person on WeChat while avoiding the cameras.”

After explaining the basic rules, the director group quickly left.

Ever since she was young, Jiang Qiqi had always only had to reach her hand out for clothes, and open her mouth to eat. When had she ever suffered this kind of grievance? She had already leaned against Liang Yi’s back long ago, looking wilted as she mumbled: “I can live alone with this 500 yuan……”

Liang Yi smiled as he pushed his elegant glasses up the bridge of his nose, seemingly good tempered, then rubbed her head, then proactively took the lead in organizing a discussion: “Then let’s roughly divide up the work?”

Qin Sijia’s was the most extroverted, and immediately cried out in reply: “Anyway I wake up every morning to exercise, so I’ll be responsible to go down the mountain to exchange the goods with the buyer!”

Zheng Qing: “You probably can’t carry it all by yourself, I’ll go with you. Then I can also be responsible for cleaning.”

Liang Yi’s logic was quite organized: “The program team already divided up the rooms for us. The six of us can be responsible for cleaning the shared areas, and we can clean once every seven days. Qiqi can be responsible for asking the price and contacting the buyer, and I can be responsible for collecting and washing the dishes. But now the most important question is whether anyone amongst us can cook?”

Those in the bullet screen applauded one after another, finally someone asked about the crux of the matter.

Since before they had always been wanting to know who amongst this group of people can cook!

[I bet 8 cents that no one can, doge]

[Zheng Qing also can’t? He looks like he’d be a househusband]

[Zheng Qing isn’t a househusband, he’s just a homebody. Before on Weibo he also said he and Qin Sijia are fast food lovers]

[Maybe teacher Ruan can. Under this kind of situation, the program team usually would gather at least one person who can enter the kitchen, it’s impossible that all six of them can’t]

It was evident that a few of the guests also thought this way, and began to look amongst each other.

Jiang Qiqi leaned against Liang Yi’s back and was the first to confess: “I really can’t, not even a little bit. The most I can do is make some small pastries.”

Then it was Liang Yi: “I can only cook clear noodle soups.”

Then it was Qin Sijia and Zheng Qing who sat to his left, and had been shaking their heads: “The kitchen in our house has stayed clean to this day.”

According to the sequence of the seating arrangement, the next person to speak should be Ren Qinming.

But for unknown reasons, everyone’s line of sight seemed to tacitly skip over Ren Qinming, and directly focused on Ruan Song’s body.

Ever since the director group divided the money, his sense of existence as a viewer nearly dropped to zero.

He had just been nicely watching the excitement, but was suddenly stared at by so many pairs of eyes at the same time, and Ruan Song outrageously leaned against the back of the sofa: “Why are you all looking at me? Do I look like someone who can cook?”

Stop joking around, even in the rental apartment he had to freeload off of Cheng Yan to eat.

Jiang Qiqi immediately began to vent her anger, as the last glimmer of hope was dashed and she leaned into Liang Yi’s arms: “After messing around for half a day, no one out of the six of us can cook!”

Liang Yi also would never have thought that there would be a day where he was to support others with his own cooking: “We can’t eat my clear noodle soup for every meal, right?”

Qin Sijia and Zheng Qing could only laugh while crying: “According to reason, the program team should have done their research beforehand, there has to be at least one.”

[They only have 500 for their living expenses, are they forcing everyone to enter the kitchen to practice this skill? hhh]

[Maybe having no one who can cook was done on purpose, to fully achieve the effect of a variety show, doge]

[Liang Yi said he can cook noodles but Jiang Qiqi’s face already turned green, seems the noodles he cooks don’t taste good at all, ahahaha]

[Seeing everyone tacitly skipping over Ren Qinming when they were discussing the problem of who can cook just before, really laughed to death]

[The most important point is that just looking at Ren Qinming, you know he can’t]

[Nowadays, only a few amongst amateurs know how. Celebrities are so busy every day, there’s even less chance for them to have time to spend learning to cook]

[Then as it turns out, the sixth season was originally supposed to be a survival program in the wilderness]

Several guests in the log cabin already looked wilted, and each one began to shake their heads while sighing, as if their legendary reputation would be reduced to the fact that they starved to death in this cabin halfway up a mountain.

Only Ruan Song leaned firmly against the sofa, without any frustration of not knowing how to cook showing on his face. He then one handedly shoved the shoulder of a certain someone who similarly remained silent.

But this time, Ren Qinming rarely seemed unlike himself, and unexpectedly had no reaction towards Ruan Song. His head remained in place, while his jaw line remained perfectly straight.

Ruan Song directly shoved him a second time: “Don’t pretend to be dead, say something.”

The five people in the living room turned to look over one by one.

Ren Qinming insisted on staying deaf-mute.

Ruan Song simply didn’t care for his tricks: “Are you just about done? There are only six people in total, you’re still pretending?”

What is Ren Qinming pretending about?

Everyone grew completely at a loss.

At a height of 187cm, the film emperor who had always remained emotionless pursed his lips, and his face had already expressed a sense of unwillingness.

“Why are you so stubborn.”

Ruan Song directly made a big move. As if he were sorting out a brat, he unrestrainedly pinched Ren Qinming’s god-given handsome face.

The bullet screen immediately filled with “fuck”, and they were all saying that pinching that face was no different than pinching a thousand pounds of gold. Where was it a face, it was all just gold pebbles!

[It’s estimated that in the entire world, only teacher Ruan is willing to pinch, and is able to pinch, just a lemon.jpg]

But actually, Ruan Song completely didn’t think too much, and it was just a habitual action.

Before in high school, Ren Qinming developed late, and in the first year of high school, he was still a bit chubby, was soft and squishy, and when he followed behind Ruan Song, he looked like he was very nice to pinch.

As long as he didn’t listen, then Ruan Song would pinch him.

Then after pinching and pinching him, that bit of meat was pinched into disappearing. Ren Qinming’s height had also broke past 185cm in the second year of high school, and he unknowingly reached the height that required Ruan Song to lift his head.

But Ruan Song still pinched him, if he didn’t pinch then he wasn’t worthy of respect.

When the other dozed off in class he would pinch, if the other didn’t do problems honestly then he’d pinch, if the other repeatedly made the same mistake on a test and lost points then he would also pinch.

Ren Qinming had long developed a conditioned reflex with Ruan Song’s training.

So even if he was in a room full of people, in addition to the thousands of eyes watching him in the live broadcast, he couldn’t help but feel wronged.

And once again let everyone witness the face changing moment of the ‘harsh, King of Hell’.

Ren Qinming furrowed his brows and cried with his little puppy eyes, and as his face was still squeezed between Ruan Song’s fingers, he hoarsely said: “I just don’t want to cook for other people to eat.”

Everyone else: “?”

The bullet screen exploded once again.

[What the, Ren Qinming knows how to cook???]

Then a familiar ID popped up with a feeling of deja-vu.

[Song ge’s skin is white, is handsome, and his personality is beautiful: Not only can he cook, but can you guess who washed Ruan Song’s undershirts and underwear before when they lived in the dorms in high school, eating melons.jpg]

[?????]

1. who are you was written directly in English in the raws

2. Baidu/Baike are search engines like google/bing

3. xs = 笑死 = lol/lmao (lit. laughing to death)

4. originally written as ‘some Bao’ but I chose XBao to indicate an unknown character, but I’m p sure it’s based off Taobao, an e-commerce site.

5. The raws say 愣头青, lit. blank headed youth, which is meant to describe someone who doesn’t think in any situation, and doesn’t consider the nature of the situation when doing things

6. to be very ‘A’ refers to someone who is very fierce/manly/handsome (all of these at the same time)

7. Grandpa Mao as in Chairman Mao, Mao Zedong. His face is on every type of bill in China, and the red color = a 100 yuan bill.




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