Chapter 19
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“Anastasia, you’re going to leave me. Are you going to shake me up without even trying to live? What if I go crazy because I can’t accept your death? Are you thinking of making my father’s concerns a reality?”
Adele’s words were not wrong at all.
The Duke forced Adele to live with the feelings he had for a reason, and Adele accepted them.
But I…
“I don’t want to force you to hate it.”
“You have to force yourself.”
“You can feel the emotions, too. I don’t think all the feelings you’ve shown me are false.”
“You’ve been deceived.”
I didn’t want to show my hurt appearance, but I didn’t want to build up my pride for him.
I managed to lift my head, which had been bent down before I knew it. I could see Adele’s expressionless face from a cloudy view.
Suddenly, I thought that this might be the real image of Adele.
But for a moment, Adele’s eyes wavered for a very short time.
I took courage for the last time. I caught him one more time.
“Really? Wasn’t I even a little special to you? Didn’t you feel anything when you complimented me for being pretty? When we walked while you’re holding my hand? And when you said goodbye? Was it a lie that you said you were happy on the first day you went out with me? “
Soon, he replied with a dull tone.
“Yes, they’re all lies. Anastasia, you’re no different from anyone else. That’s why I cared and cared about you more because you’re the person my father values. I know that my father would trust me if I look good to you. Wouldn’t you feel safer if you made at least one close friend? You looked just right. And even if you knew my secret, there was a good chance that you wouldn’t reveal it. You opened your heart too easily.”
Earlier, he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to accept my death, but now he’s saying I’m not special at all.
Somehow Adele’s words seemed to be directed not only at me but also at himself.
But no matter how contradictory it was, it was as certain that he was pushing me away now.
Yeah, he probably knew it.
He knew that I had a crush on him.
“Anastasia, I’m sorry to take advantage of your kindness.”
The words “take advantage” came out from Adele’s mouth.
“If all I’ve ever seen was acting, how can I believe that your apology is sincere?”
“….that’s right.”
Adele didn’t deny it.
I thought during the brief silence. This wall between us, no, I didn’t know when it would be gone. It probably already has blocked us firmly like this.
I mean, maybe this was the first and last chance I was given.
The only moment when I can deliver my heart and the only moment where Adele can answer honestly.
Next time we meet, Adele will treat me as sweet and kind as he used to.
Adele is stubborn once he makes up his mind, so he won’t show this feeling again.
Ah, I see.
I had no choice but to talk now.
“I like you.”
It’s strange. For some reason, I still don’t resent him at all.
I don’t think I can hate him sincerely from now on. I just felt like that.
The words flowed out of my mouth more calmly than expected. It contains neither anger nor entreaty nor lamentation. It was an ordinary statement as if asking about the weather tomorrow.
My gaze fell to my feet. I didn’t even dare to look at Adele because I was afraid that the courage I had drawn would disappear. I kept whispering just looking at the floor.
“I can’t even live long, but I wanted you to see me as someone special even though I was just waiting for the day I’ll die. It wouldn’t have been like love. I just liked waiting for you. I liked smiling face to face with you, and I enjoyed just walking side by side with you. It was fun to see you reading a book, and I was happy to see your embarrassed face when I did something wrong. When I fall asleep, you cover me with your coat, and you even listen to me no matter how useless the things I talk about are, I like it all so much…”
I don’t know how much trouble it is for him, but I’m excited and looking forward to it alone.
“Thank you. Even if they were all lies as you said, my feelings were real.”
I rubbed my eyes and looked at Adele.
“I can only get to you this far, but I hope it’s not someone else. You know, I can’t force you to do it. I don’t want to be one of the people who give you a hard time. I wanted to be close to you, I didn’t just like you to receive your favor. So…”
Adele’s face was distorted. I tried to speak as well as I could.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best friend you wanted me to be. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Well then, goodbye. “
I passed Adele and left the mansion. Then I got on the carriage straight away. Only then did the tears that I had barely endured burst out.
If only the given time had been a little longer, I wouldn’t have given up like this.
This is the last time, it’s the end, no, it may have been just a part of the process.
In the empty hallway where Anastasia left, Adele Magnus slowly turned his head.
He knew Anastasia overheard his conversation with his father.
He deliberately provoked his father, hoping to make him panic more so she can hear more.
Friedrich Magnus was an overly brilliant man. Even if the other person was his son, he did not lose his coolness.
In the past, as soon as he recognized that Adele had a problem, he isolated him from the outside and forced him to learn good faith, ethics, and moral concepts that people are supposed to naturally pick up.
He did not ask for Adele’s understanding. He didn’t even intend to persuade him. He just ordered him.
“If you want to go outside, consider my words the law. Otherwise, I’ll even risk killing you right now. “
Friedrich warned his young son like that.
After years of hard work, Adele became a man of normal sensibility to anyone.
No one doubted his empathy.
Adele never made a mistake. It was until a month ago.
Originally, he kept his good image in front of everyone.
It was the same with Anastasia Sinclair. Just a month ago, she wasn’t special to him.
But now, she was the center of his mind and all of his thoughts.
So he gave her a chance to escape. Despite being hurt for enduring the disgusting feeling of his intestines turning upside down.
“I like you.”
Has he ever received such an innocent confession?
No matter how much Adele drew a line and hit the wall, countless people liked him.
Because he was the son of the Duke, he had a lot of wealth, was smart, was friendly, and did not discriminate between identities, and so on. There were many reasons.
However, she was the only one who openly said she enjoyed being with him.
There was a moment when ignorant people secretly avoided Adele.
He instinctively avoided being alone with others, as if he had felt he could kill them himself at any time. He felt uncomfortable and burdened.
Adele did not want to stay in a closed space alone with anyone else as possible.
However, when he was with Anastasia, he was rather resentful of her who enjoyed going out.
Anastasia laughed very well. She often grumbled at trivial things, pretended to be angry, and then move on quickly and burst into laughter. She was a person who did not cry even while discussing her own death.
“Thank you. Even if they were all lies as you said, my feelings were real.”
He thought that she would blame him.
He was taught that those who were betrayed will feel angry or desperate. But she apologized instead. She said she was sorry.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best friend you wanted me to be. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Well then, goodbye.”
It was farewell. Anastasia said she did not want a pretense attitude. She said she couldn’t do that to him.
How cruel this is. She wouldn’t even know that she had driven him to a dead end.
Now he had no choice but to choose.
To stay away from Anastasia at his father’s command?
Or show Anastasia what she really wants?
When judged rationally, the rational choice was, of course, to obey his father.
It will be the safest choice and nothing will change. He will be able to live as Adele Magnus, who’s loved by everyone.
Instead, he’ll never run into Anastasia again. It was an obvious result that she would avoid him in the future.
The second choice was truly reckless. Anastasia doesn’t even fully know him yet.
If she found out his true nature and gets terrified, his life will be over if she made rumors to people that the perfect Lord Adele Magnus might turn into a murderer. He would never be able to go back to his old life again.
‘Should I fool her? More thorough and subtle, like I’m really in love?’
He was confident. He could play as a man that’s truly in love that Anastasia wouldn’t even notice.
(t/n: that’s probably what he did to Olga in the real story… that’s just… sad )
If he persuaded her with a more gentle, kind, sad, and restless appearance than now, Anastasia will also believe it.
It would be possible to stay by her side without giving her fear if he overlaid her pretense that way.
Adele suddenly laughed.
He realized. He wished to be by her side to the point where he wanted to continue such a miserable skit.
He had never wanted anything so badly. However, he also knew what kind of consequences this growing emotion would bring.
Eventually, he would definitely try to save Anastasia, which will inevitably be accompanied by murder.
On the surface, he tried to give Anastasia hope, but Adele also thought that ordinary treatments would not be able to save her.
Even Duke Magnus, whose wealth reaches the end of the continent, has not found a clue on how to cure the disease.
Her illness could not be cured in the usual way. All left was to use another life as an offering.
Perhaps he has already made a choice. He would carry it out without any remorse if she had permitted him.
“Adele, you’ve got to be a little bit of a bad guy sometimes.”
‘Yes, Anastasia.’
‘You’re such a lovely person. I hope you are the one who can handle me.’
Me reading the first part of this chapter:
Me after reading Adele’s POV:
Holy cow, idk man. idk… I’m speechless sksks. Adele’s POV surprised me. I screeched so loud lols. I REALLY THOUGHT HE’S GONNA LET HER GO JUST LIKE THAT AHHHHH.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
“Anastasia, you’re going to leave me. Are you going to shake me up without even trying to live? What if I go crazy because I can’t accept your death? Are you thinking of making my father’s concerns a reality?”
Adele’s words were not wrong at all.
The Duke forced Adele to live with the feelings he had for a reason, and Adele accepted them.
But I…
“I don’t want to force you to hate it.”
“You have to force yourself.”
“You can feel the emotions, too. I don’t think all the feelings you’ve shown me are false.”
“You’ve been deceived.”
I didn’t want to show my hurt appearance, but I didn’t want to build up my pride for him.
I managed to lift my head, which had been bent down before I knew it. I could see Adele’s expressionless face from a cloudy view.
Suddenly, I thought that this might be the real image of Adele.
But for a moment, Adele’s eyes wavered for a very short time.
I took courage for the last time. I caught him one more time.
“Really? Wasn’t I even a little special to you? Didn’t you feel anything when you complimented me for being pretty? When we walked while you’re holding my hand? And when you said goodbye? Was it a lie that you said you were happy on the first day you went out with me? “
Soon, he replied with a dull tone.
“Yes, they’re all lies. Anastasia, you’re no different from anyone else. That’s why I cared and cared about you more because you’re the person my father values. I know that my father would trust me if I look good to you. Wouldn’t you feel safer if you made at least one close friend? You looked just right. And even if you knew my secret, there was a good chance that you wouldn’t reveal it. You opened your heart too easily.”
Earlier, he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to accept my death, but now he’s saying I’m not special at all.
Somehow Adele’s words seemed to be directed not only at me but also at himself.
But no matter how contradictory it was, it was as certain that he was pushing me away now.
Yeah, he probably knew it.
He knew that I had a crush on him.
“Anastasia, I’m sorry to take advantage of your kindness.”
The words “take advantage” came out from Adele’s mouth.
“If all I’ve ever seen was acting, how can I believe that your apology is sincere?”
“….that’s right.”
Adele didn’t deny it.
I thought during the brief silence. This wall between us, no, I didn’t know when it would be gone. It probably already has blocked us firmly like this.
I mean, maybe this was the first and last chance I was given.
The only moment when I can deliver my heart and the only moment where Adele can answer honestly.
Next time we meet, Adele will treat me as sweet and kind as he used to.
Adele is stubborn once he makes up his mind, so he won’t show this feeling again.
Ah, I see.
I had no choice but to talk now.
“I like you.”
It’s strange. For some reason, I still don’t resent him at all.
I don’t think I can hate him sincerely from now on. I just felt like that.
The words flowed out of my mouth more calmly than expected. It contains neither anger nor entreaty nor lamentation. It was an ordinary statement as if asking about the weather tomorrow.
My gaze fell to my feet. I didn’t even dare to look at Adele because I was afraid that the courage I had drawn would disappear. I kept whispering just looking at the floor.
“I can’t even live long, but I wanted you to see me as someone special even though I was just waiting for the day I’ll die. It wouldn’t have been like love. I just liked waiting for you. I liked smiling face to face with you, and I enjoyed just walking side by side with you. It was fun to see you reading a book, and I was happy to see your embarrassed face when I did something wrong. When I fall asleep, you cover me with your coat, and you even listen to me no matter how useless the things I talk about are, I like it all so much…”
I don’t know how much trouble it is for him, but I’m excited and looking forward to it alone.
“Thank you. Even if they were all lies as you said, my feelings were real.”
I rubbed my eyes and looked at Adele.
“I can only get to you this far, but I hope it’s not someone else. You know, I can’t force you to do it. I don’t want to be one of the people who give you a hard time. I wanted to be close to you, I didn’t just like you to receive your favor. So…”
Adele’s face was distorted. I tried to speak as well as I could.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best friend you wanted me to be. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Well then, goodbye. “
I passed Adele and left the mansion. Then I got on the carriage straight away. Only then did the tears that I had barely endured burst out.
If only the given time had been a little longer, I wouldn’t have given up like this.
This is the last time, it’s the end, no, it may have been just a part of the process.
In the empty hallway where Anastasia left, Adele Magnus slowly turned his head.
He knew Anastasia overheard his conversation with his father.
He deliberately provoked his father, hoping to make him panic more so she can hear more.
Friedrich Magnus was an overly brilliant man. Even if the other person was his son, he did not lose his coolness.
In the past, as soon as he recognized that Adele had a problem, he isolated him from the outside and forced him to learn good faith, ethics, and moral concepts that people are supposed to naturally pick up.
He did not ask for Adele’s understanding. He didn’t even intend to persuade him. He just ordered him.
“If you want to go outside, consider my words the law. Otherwise, I’ll even risk killing you right now. “
Friedrich warned his young son like that.
After years of hard work, Adele became a man of normal sensibility to anyone.
No one doubted his empathy.
Adele never made a mistake. It was until a month ago.
Originally, he kept his good image in front of everyone.
It was the same with Anastasia Sinclair. Just a month ago, she wasn’t special to him.
But now, she was the center of his mind and all of his thoughts.
So he gave her a chance to escape. Despite being hurt for enduring the disgusting feeling of his intestines turning upside down.
“I like you.”
Has he ever received such an innocent confession?
No matter how much Adele drew a line and hit the wall, countless people liked him.
Because he was the son of the Duke, he had a lot of wealth, was smart, was friendly, and did not discriminate between identities, and so on. There were many reasons.
However, she was the only one who openly said she enjoyed being with him.
There was a moment when ignorant people secretly avoided Adele.
He instinctively avoided being alone with others, as if he had felt he could kill them himself at any time. He felt uncomfortable and burdened.
Adele did not want to stay in a closed space alone with anyone else as possible.
However, when he was with Anastasia, he was rather resentful of her who enjoyed going out.
Anastasia laughed very well. She often grumbled at trivial things, pretended to be angry, and then move on quickly and burst into laughter. She was a person who did not cry even while discussing her own death.
“Thank you. Even if they were all lies as you said, my feelings were real.”
He thought that she would blame him.
He was taught that those who were betrayed will feel angry or desperate. But she apologized instead. She said she was sorry.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best friend you wanted me to be. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Well then, goodbye.”
It was farewell. Anastasia said she did not want a pretense attitude. She said she couldn’t do that to him.
How cruel this is. She wouldn’t even know that she had driven him to a dead end.
Now he had no choice but to choose.
To stay away from Anastasia at his father’s command?
Or show Anastasia what she really wants?
When judged rationally, the rational choice was, of course, to obey his father.
It will be the safest choice and nothing will change. He will be able to live as Adele Magnus, who’s loved by everyone.
Instead, he’ll never run into Anastasia again. It was an obvious result that she would avoid him in the future.
The second choice was truly reckless. Anastasia doesn’t even fully know him yet.
If she found out his true nature and gets terrified, his life will be over if she made rumors to people that the perfect Lord Adele Magnus might turn into a murderer. He would never be able to go back to his old life again.
‘Should I fool her? More thorough and subtle, like I’m really in love?’
He was confident. He could play as a man that’s truly in love that Anastasia wouldn’t even notice.
(t/n: that’s probably what he did to Olga in the real story… that’s just… sad )
If he persuaded her with a more gentle, kind, sad, and restless appearance than now, Anastasia will also believe it.
It would be possible to stay by her side without giving her fear if he overlaid her pretense that way.
Adele suddenly laughed.
He realized. He wished to be by her side to the point where he wanted to continue such a miserable skit.
He had never wanted anything so badly. However, he also knew what kind of consequences this growing emotion would bring.
Eventually, he would definitely try to save Anastasia, which will inevitably be accompanied by murder.
On the surface, he tried to give Anastasia hope, but Adele also thought that ordinary treatments would not be able to save her.
Even Duke Magnus, whose wealth reaches the end of the continent, has not found a clue on how to cure the disease.
Her illness could not be cured in the usual way. All left was to use another life as an offering.
Perhaps he has already made a choice. He would carry it out without any remorse if she had permitted him.
“Adele, you’ve got to be a little bit of a bad guy sometimes.”
‘Yes, Anastasia.’
‘You’re such a lovely person. I hope you are the one who can handle me.’
Me reading the first part of this chapter:
Me after reading Adele’s POV:
Holy cow, idk man. idk… I’m speechless sksks. Adele’s POV surprised me. I screeched so loud lols. I REALLY THOUGHT HE’S GONNA LET HER GO JUST LIKE THAT AHHHHH.
Anastasia, you're going to leave me. Are you going to shake me up without even trying to live? What if I go crazy because I can't accept your death? Are you thinking of making my father's concerns a reality?Adele's words were not wrong at all.The Duke forced Adele to live with the feelings he had for a reason, and Adele accepted them.But II don't want to force you to hate it.You have to force yourself.You can feel the emotions, too. I don't think all the feelings you've shown me are false.You've been deceived.I didn't want to show my hurt appearance, but I didn't want to build up my pride for him.I managed to lift my head, which had been bent down before I knew it. I could see Adele's expressionless face from a cloudy view.Suddenly, I thought that this might be the real image of Adele.But for a moment, Adele's eyes wavered for a very short time.I took courage for the last time. I caught him one more time.Really? Wasn't I even a little special to you? Didn't you feel anything when you complimented me for being pretty? When we walked while you're holding my hand? And when you said goodbye? Was it a lie that you said you were happy on the first day you went out with me? Soon, he replied with a dull tone.Yes, they're all lies. Anastasia, you're no different from anyone else. That's why I cared and cared about you more because you're the person my father values. I know that my father would trust me if I look good to you. Wouldn't you feel safer if you made at least one close friend? You looked just right. And even if you knew my secret, there was a good chance that you wouldn't reveal it. You opened your heart too easily.Earlier, he was worried that he wouldn't be able to accept my death, but now he's saying I'm not special at all.Somehow Adele's words seemed to be directed not only at me but also at himself.But no matter how contradictory it was, it was as certain that he was pushing me away now.Yeah, he probably knew it.He knew that I had a crush on him.Anastasia, I'm sorry to take advantage of your kindness.The words take advantage came out from Adele's mouth.If all I've ever seen was acting, how can I believe that your apology is sincere?.that's right.Adele didn't deny it.I thought during the brief silence. This wall between us, no, I didn't know when it would be gone. It probably already has blocked us firmly like this.I mean, maybe this was the first and last chance I was given.The only moment when I can deliver my heart and the only moment where Adele can answer honestly.Next time we meet, Adele will treat me as sweet and kind as he used to.Adele is stubborn once he makes up his mind, so he won't show this feeling again.Ah, I see.I had no choice but to talk now.I like you.It's strange. For some reason, I still don't resent him at all.I don't think I can hate him sincerely from now on. I just felt like that.The words flowed out of my mouth more calmly than expected. It contains neither anger nor entreaty nor lamentation. It was an ordinary statement as if asking about the weather tomorrow.My gaze fell to my feet. I didn't even dare to look at Adele because I was afraid that the courage I had drawn would disappear. I kept whispering just looking at the floor.I can't even live long, but I wanted you to see me as someone special even though I was just waiting for the day I'll die. It wouldn't have been like love. I just liked waiting for you. I liked smiling face to face with you, and I enjoyed just walking side by side with you. It was fun to see you reading a book, and I was happy to see your embarrassed face when I did something wrong. When I fall asleep, you cover me with your coat, and you even listen to me no matter how useless the things I talk about are, I like it all so muchI don't know how much trouble it is for him, but I'm excited and looking forward to it alone.Thank you. Even if they were all lies as you said, my feelings were real.I rubbed my eyes and looked at Adele.I can only get to you this far, but I hope it's not someone else. You know, I can't force you to do it. I don't want to be one of the people who give you a hard time. I wanted to be close to you, I didn't just like you to receive your favor. SoAdele's face was distorted. I tried to speak as well as I could.I'm sorry I couldn't be the best friend you wanted me to be. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Well then, goodbye. I passed Adele and left the mansion. Then I got on the carriage straight away. Only then did the tears that I had barely endured burst out.If only the given time had been a little longer, I wouldn't have given up like this.This is the last time, it's the end, no, it may have been just a part of the process.In the empty hallway where Anastasia left, Adele Magnus slowly turned his head.He knew Anastasia overheard his conversation with his father.He deliberately provoked his father, hoping to make him panic more so she can hear more.Friedrich Magnus was an overly brilliant man. Even if the other person was his son, he did not lose his coolness.In the past, as soon as he recognized that Adele had a problem, he isolated him from the outside and forced him to learn good faith, ethics, and moral concepts that people are supposed to naturally pick up.He did not ask for Adele's understanding. He didn't even intend to persuade him. He just ordered him.If you want to go outside, consider my words the law. Otherwise, I'll even risk killing you right now. Friedrich warned his young son like that.After years of hard work, Adele became a man of normal sensibility to anyone.No one doubted his empathy.Adele never made a mistake. It was until a month ago.Originally, he kept his good image in front of everyone.It was the same with Anastasia Sinclair. Just a month ago, she wasn't special to him.But now, she was the center of his mind and all of his thoughts.So he gave her a chance to escape. Despite being hurt for enduring the disgusting feeling of his intestines turning upside down.I like you.Has he ever received such an innocent confession?No matter how much Adele drew a line and hit the wall, countless people liked him.Because he was the son of the Duke, he had a lot of wealth, was smart, was friendly, and did not discriminate between identities, and so on. There were many reasons.However, she was the only one who openly said she enjoyed being with him.There was a moment when ignorant people secretly avoided Adele.He instinctively avoided being alone with others, as if he had felt he could kill them himself at any time. He felt uncomfortable and burdened.Adele did not want to stay in a closed space alone with anyone else as possible.However, when he was with Anastasia, he was rather resentful of her who enjoyed going out.Anastasia laughed very well. She often grumbled at trivial things, pretended to be angry, and then move on quickly and burst into laughter. She was a person who did not cry even while discussing her own death.Thank you. Even if they were all lies as you said, my feelings were real.He thought that she would blame him.He was taught that those who were betrayed will feel angry or desperate. But she apologized instead. She said she was sorry.I'm sorry I couldn't be the best friend you wanted me to be. Thank you so much for hanging out with me. Well then, goodbye.It was farewell. Anastasia said she did not want a pretense attitude. She said she couldn't do that to him.How cruel this is. She wouldn't even know that she had driven him to a dead end.Now he had no choice but to choose.To stay away from Anastasia at his father's command?Or show Anastasia what she really wants?When judged rationally, the rational choice was, of course, to obey his father.It will be the safest choice and nothing will change. He will be able to live as Adele Magnus, who's loved by everyone.Instead, he'll never run into Anastasia again. It was an obvious result that she would avoid him in the future.The second choice was truly reckless. Anastasia doesn't even fully know him yet.If she found out his true nature and gets terrified, his life will be over if she made rumors to people that the perfect Lord Adele Magnus might turn into a murderer. He would never be able to go back to his old life again.Should I fool her? More thorough and subtle, like I'm really in love?'He was confident. He could play as a man that's truly in love that Anastasia wouldn't even notice.t/n: that's probably what he did to Olga in the real story that's just sadIf he persuaded her with a more gentle, kind, sad, and restless appearance than now, Anastasia will also believe it.It would be possible to stay by her side without giving her fear if he overlaid her pretense that way.Adele suddenly laughed.He realized. He wished to be by her side to the point where he wanted to continue such a miserable skit.He had never wanted anything so badly. However, he also knew what kind of consequences this growing emotion would bring.Eventually, he would definitely try to save Anastasia, which will inevitably be accompanied by murder.On the surface, he tried to give Anastasia hope, but Adele also thought that ordinary treatments would not be able to save her.Even Duke Magnus, whose wealth reaches the end of the continent, has not found a clue on how to cure the disease.Her illness could not be cured in the usual way. All left was to use another life as an offering.Perhaps he has already made a choice. He would carry it out without any remorse if she had permitted him.Adele, you've got to be a little bit of a bad guy sometimes.Yes, Anastasia.'You're such a lovely person. I hope you are the one who can handle me.'Me reading the first part of this chapter:Me after reading Adele's POV:Holy cow, idk man. idk I'm speechless sksks. Adele's POV surprised me. I screeched so loud lols. I REALLY THOUGHT HE'S GONNA LET HER GO JUST LIKE THAT AHHHHH.
