Sure enough, from the next day I was excluded from Misaki’s group.
I had been that afraid of being alone, but I thought it actually wasn’t so bothersome.
Rather, I felt relieved it wasn’t necessary to keep relationships for appearances sake… I wouldn’t go that far, but I felt it’s become less troublesome.
Be that as it may, I’m sure it will be hard during the various planned school events or to pair during PE classes.
In PE classes, I mostly joined up with Shiiko-san.
Although I was cut off from my circle of friends, I started hanging out with her.
As I had been a member of the go-home club, I joined manga research club, and came to talk with other members about manga.
The relationship with SakiSaki Duo became delicate.
Although I was blatantly avoided by Misaki, because I was in the library committee with Kosaki we barely maintained our connection.
Nonetheless, Kosaki worried about Misaki so she didn’t talk to me openly much, it was only in the library committee that I could interact with her.
Despite my time with the person I love being limited, I was more honest with my feelings than before and enjoyed these trysts (one-sided) few times a month.
One more thing has changed.
Perhaps it was Shiiko-san’s influence, but I wanted to create something, so I began writing secondary novels.
It’s different for everyone, but I found it very difficult to draw, so I didn’t imitate Shiiko-san.
Mysteriously, I had no resistance against writing, even though I was poor at it I found it enjoyable, so I settled on novels.
Because everybody in the manga club was an otaku, I became aware of high quality manga, games, and anime.
While reading, playing, and watching them, I made secondary works with my favorite characters.
“Yup, I think it’s interesting. Its roughness stands out, but I can feel the passion”
“That’s right. It has freshness not found among us otaku”
“But, you should study writing guidelines a bit more”
“I see”
Today as well I had my work read in the manga club room.
It’s fun writing, but.
It sure is difficult.
This environment was a blessing.
The people of the manga club looked over my shoddy works and gave me sincere opinions.
Those days, there was no Cool Japan slogan yet, so understanding of otaku hobbies was still shallow.
Therefore, majority of the society shared Misaki’s opinion and most otaku felt ashamed of it.
At such a time I wasn’t inconvenienced, I really can say I was blessed to have people who shared my interests.
“Come to think of it, Rei-san. Have you read the latest issue of PrayFeel?”
PrayFeel is the nickname of “Between Prayer and Feelings”.
It’s called so among the fans.
“Not yet. I was thinking of buying it on the way back and reading it”
“I see. You better prepare yourself. It has an amazing development”
“What’s that. Wow, I’m curious!”
I was looking forward to enjoying it, but Shiiko-san’s looked unwell.
“Eh, was there some bad development?”
“My rule is to not spoil things. Anyway, give it a read”
◆◇◆◇◆
“Woah…”
I’m crushed.
I’m extremely crushed.
As I’d declared, I bought PrayFeel on the way back then read it immediately after coming home, and I understood why Shiiko-san had had a gloomy face.
“Sachiko-sama, died…”
Sachiko-sama was a senior who the heroine fell in love with.
She was a genuine lady from an old family dating back to the Muromachi period.
Despite being unyielding and uncooperative, she had a personality you couldn’t hate, she was one of the most popular characters in the novel.
Finally at the end of the previous volume the heroine decided to tell her feelings to Sachiko-sama, everyone was curious about the new volume.
“No, this development sure has an impact, but…”
Sachiko-sama was called to a park in the evening, and on the way got into a traffic accident and passed away.
The volume ended with the grief-stricken heroine being embraced by the understanding Sei-senpai.
“Is this supposed to be Sei-senpai route…”
The scene of the heroine breaking down crying when she was faced with Sachiko-sama’s remains was certainly dramatic.
To be honest, I cried.
I thought it was a power of the pen of a top professional who writes for living.
But, honestly, I don’t like this development much.
“Ugh…”
What can I do about this gloominess.
If it was the me before, I would have been anguished without a way to relieve my frustration, but fortunately now I have the most suitable hobby for it.
“Let’s write Sachiko-sama’s survival route”
Yes, it’s a secondary work.
The nice thing about secondary works is that you can incorporate your preferences and desires freely.
Of course, understanding and love for the original work are essential.
Writing an “if” scenario where a serious incident unfolds differently is something often done in secondary creations.
I immersed myself in writing about a development where Sachiko-sama survived.
“As for me, I’ll write like this”
On this day I sat in front of the computer till late at night.
◆◇◆◇◆
“So that’s how it came to”
“I think Rei-san’s development is more acceptable”
“I’m in the original work camp. One way or another I was moved”
The next day, I asked everybody to read my PrayFeel secondary work and give their opinions on it.
It seems the development in the last volume was a great shock to everyone, so the commentary on my work also became passionate.
“How was it, Shiiko-san?”
I was grateful for everyone’s impressions, but I wanted to hear Shiiko-san’s impression more than anyone’s.
“I… like both, but if I had to pick one it would be the original work”
“I see”
“Sorry. It’s not that I dislike Rei-san’s”
“Yup, I understand. Thank you for reading”
She read it and gave her impression, I was grateful for that alone.
“Shiiko-san is in Sei-senpai faction, isn’t she”
“Yup. That’s why I could accept the development in the latest volume. Rei-san is a genuine Sachiko-sama fundamentalist”
“Yes… That’s why it was too shocking…”
“I’m sorry to hear that”
Shiiko-san familiarly patted the crestfallen me on my shoulder.
“I don’t agree with the development in the latest volume, but I came to realize one thing”
“Is it what came to you when writing the secondary creation?”
“Yup”
“I see. Then, what was it?”
“Yup. I think I’ll confess to Kosaki”
In the secondary work of PrayFeel I wrote, the heroine confessed to Sachiko-sama earlier than in the original work.
As a result, Sachiko-sama didn’t get in the traffic accident.
It was a change without any twists, I still wasn’t skilled enough to write them.
Instead, I put all of my feelings into it.
The feeling I put into it was “Before I regret not confessing”.
The person you love won’t always stay on your side – PrayFeel’s latest volume taught me that.
I don’t really think Kosaki will die soon, but even if she doesn’t die, there’s a possibility we’ll be separated by changing schools or graduation, or that somebody will go out with Kosaki.
To not become like PrayFeel’s protagonist, I decided to confess to Kosaki.
“Oh, at last”
“Finally”
“Good luck”
The manga club members cheered me on.
I had spoken frankly about my sexual orientation to everyone.
It being accepted was another reason why I considered my circumstances lucky.
“When will you do it?”
“Tomorrow, I guess. We’ll be working after school as library committee members”
“I see. Go for it, Rei-san”
“Yup”
Shiiko-san encouraged me with these words.
But, had I looked closely at her expression at that time, I would have realized she was in no way pleased by my decision.
It would be a bit later when I understood that.
Sure enough, from the next day I was excluded from Misaki’s group.
I had been that afraid of being alone, but I thought it actually wasn’t so bothersome.
Rather, I felt relieved it wasn’t necessary to keep relationships for appearances sake… I wouldn’t go that far, but I felt it’s become less troublesome.
Be that as it may, I’m sure it will be hard during the various planned school events or to pair during PE classes.
In PE classes, I mostly joined up with Shiiko-san.
Although I was cut off from my circle of friends, I started hanging out with her.
As I had been a member of the go-home club, I joined manga research club, and came to talk with other members about manga.
The relationship with SakiSaki Duo became delicate.
Although I was blatantly avoided by Misaki, because I was in the library committee with Kosaki we barely maintained our connection.
Nonetheless, Kosaki worried about Misaki so she didn’t talk to me openly much, it was only in the library committee that I could interact with her.
Despite my time with the person I love being limited, I was more honest with my feelings than before and enjoyed these trysts (one-sided) few times a month.
One more thing has changed.
Perhaps it was Shiiko-san’s influence, but I wanted to create something, so I began writing secondary novels.
It’s different for everyone, but I found it very difficult to draw, so I didn’t imitate Shiiko-san.
Mysteriously, I had no resistance against writing, even though I was poor at it I found it enjoyable, so I settled on novels.
Because everybody in the manga club was an otaku, I became aware of high quality manga, games, and anime.
While reading, playing, and watching them, I made secondary works with my favorite characters.
“Yup, I think it’s interesting. Its roughness stands out, but I can feel the passion”
“That’s right. It has freshness not found among us otaku”
“But, you should study writing guidelines a bit more”
“I see”
Today as well I had my work read in the manga club room.
It’s fun writing, but.
It sure is difficult.
This environment was a blessing.
The people of the manga club looked over my shoddy works and gave me sincere opinions.
Those days, there was no Cool Japan slogan yet, so understanding of otaku hobbies was still shallow.
Therefore, majority of the society shared Misaki’s opinion and most otaku felt ashamed of it.
At such a time I wasn’t inconvenienced, I really can say I was blessed to have people who shared my interests.
“Come to think of it, Rei-san. Have you read the latest issue of PrayFeel?”
PrayFeel is the nickname of “Between Prayer and Feelings”.
It’s called so among the fans.
“Not yet. I was thinking of buying it on the way back and reading it”
“I see. You better prepare yourself. It has an amazing development”
“What’s that. Wow, I’m curious!”
I was looking forward to enjoying it, but Shiiko-san’s looked unwell.
“Eh, was there some bad development?”
“My rule is to not spoil things. Anyway, give it a read”
◆◇◆◇◆
“Woah…”
I’m crushed.
I’m extremely crushed.
As I’d declared, I bought PrayFeel on the way back then read it immediately after coming home, and I understood why Shiiko-san had had a gloomy face.
“Sachiko-sama, died…”
Sachiko-sama was a senior who the heroine fell in love with.
She was a genuine lady from an old family dating back to the Muromachi period.
Despite being unyielding and uncooperative, she had a personality you couldn’t hate, she was one of the most popular characters in the novel.
Finally at the end of the previous volume the heroine decided to tell her feelings to Sachiko-sama, everyone was curious about the new volume.
“No, this development sure has an impact, but…”
Sachiko-sama was called to a park in the evening, and on the way got into a traffic accident and passed away.
The volume ended with the grief-stricken heroine being embraced by the understanding Sei-senpai.
“Is this supposed to be Sei-senpai route…”
The scene of the heroine breaking down crying when she was faced with Sachiko-sama’s remains was certainly dramatic.
To be honest, I cried.
I thought it was a power of the pen of a top professional who writes for living.
But, honestly, I don’t like this development much.
“Ugh…”
What can I do about this gloominess.
If it was the me before, I would have been anguished without a way to relieve my frustration, but fortunately now I have the most suitable hobby for it.
“Let’s write Sachiko-sama’s survival route”
Yes, it’s a secondary work.
The nice thing about secondary works is that you can incorporate your preferences and desires freely.
Of course, understanding and love for the original work are essential.
Writing an “if” scenario where a serious incident unfolds differently is something often done in secondary creations.
I immersed myself in writing about a development where Sachiko-sama survived.
“As for me, I’ll write like this”
On this day I sat in front of the computer till late at night.
◆◇◆◇◆
“So that’s how it came to”
“I think Rei-san’s development is more acceptable”
“I’m in the original work camp. One way or another I was moved”
The next day, I asked everybody to read my PrayFeel secondary work and give their opinions on it.
It seems the development in the last volume was a great shock to everyone, so the commentary on my work also became passionate.
“How was it, Shiiko-san?”
I was grateful for everyone’s impressions, but I wanted to hear Shiiko-san’s impression more than anyone’s.
“I… like both, but if I had to pick one it would be the original work”
“I see”
“Sorry. It’s not that I dislike Rei-san’s”
“Yup, I understand. Thank you for reading”
She read it and gave her impression, I was grateful for that alone.
“Shiiko-san is in Sei-senpai faction, isn’t she”
“Yup. That’s why I could accept the development in the latest volume. Rei-san is a genuine Sachiko-sama fundamentalist”
“Yes… That’s why it was too shocking…”
“I’m sorry to hear that”
Shiiko-san familiarly patted the crestfallen me on my shoulder.
“I don’t agree with the development in the latest volume, but I came to realize one thing”
“Is it what came to you when writing the secondary creation?”
“Yup”
“I see. Then, what was it?”
“Yup. I think I’ll confess to Kosaki”
In the secondary work of PrayFeel I wrote, the heroine confessed to Sachiko-sama earlier than in the original work.
As a result, Sachiko-sama didn’t get in the traffic accident.
It was a change without any twists, I still wasn’t skilled enough to write them.
Instead, I put all of my feelings into it.
The feeling I put into it was “Before I regret not confessing”.
The person you love won’t always stay on your side – PrayFeel’s latest volume taught me that.
I don’t really think Kosaki will die soon, but even if she doesn’t die, there’s a possibility we’ll be separated by changing schools or graduation, or that somebody will go out with Kosaki.
To not become like PrayFeel’s protagonist, I decided to confess to Kosaki.
“Oh, at last”
“Finally”
“Good luck”
The manga club members cheered me on.
I had spoken frankly about my sexual orientation to everyone.
It being accepted was another reason why I considered my circumstances lucky.
“When will you do it?”
“Tomorrow, I guess. We’ll be working after school as library committee members”
“I see. Go for it, Rei-san”
“Yup”
Shiiko-san encouraged me with these words.
But, had I looked closely at her expression at that time, I would have realized she was in no way pleased by my decision.
It would be a bit later when I understood that.
