Chapter 144
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144
Lin Anlan and Cheng Yu came to see him the next day.
Seeing Cheng Yu, Jiang Xu opened his head and said coldly, "get out."
Cheng Yu doesn't want to see him either. Wen Sheng says to Lin Anlan, "I'll wait for you outside."
"Well."
Cheng Yu left, leaving only Jiang Xu and Lin Anlan in the ward.
Jiang Xu sat on the bed and looked at him for a long time before he said, "I thought I would never see you again."
Lin Anlan chuckled, "I think too much. When did you want to see me? Most of the time, as long as you want to see it, you will see it, won't you? "
"If so, have we only met three or five times in half a year?"
"How many times would you like to see her? Thirty or fifty? It's not necessary. "
He looked at Jiang Xu, eyes calm, "are you intentional? You want to die on purpose? "
"No?" Jiang Xu turned his head and looked out of the window. "I'm like this now. What's the point of living?"
"What are you like now?" Lin Anlan asked him, "there are agents, assistants and fans. If you get hurt, other people around you can't worry. Your agents dare not let your fans know, for fear that they can't bear it. Don't you care?"
"And you? Are you worried? " Jiang Xu turned his head back.
"If I don't worry, why am I standing here today? Do I have too much time to go anywhere? " Lin Anlan said frankly.
Jiang Xu Leng for a moment, incredible, "you worry about me?"
"I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about your life. Today, if you are not lying here, but my fans, as long as I come, he can be OK, I am willing to go, because I fear life, and I cherish life. "
"But you don't cherish it. You have great capital, but you still want to die. Do you think you are too happy?"
"I'm happy?" Jiang Xu seems to have heard a joke, "what can I be happy about? My parents don't want me. My friends abandon me. Where is my happiness? If I'm really happy, will I feel that I don't have to live? "
"I've never been happy, so I'm tired of the world."
"Then go to hell." Lin Anlan said calmly, "if you really feel that you are so unhappy, there is no meaning in living, then you go to die."
Jiang Xu couldn't believe it. He tried hard to see the look on Lin Anlan's face, but he only saw the calm on his face.
"After you die, I'll help you with your funeral. You choose your own cemetery in advance, and I'll help you put the ashes in. You'd better write a will for your property. Otherwise, according to the law, it is estimated that it will be left to your father and your mother. Cheng Feng probably won't want your inheritance, but your mother should be willing to. If you don't want to give it to her, write a will in advance. "
Jiang Xu
Lin Anlan thought about it and said, "don't worry, I will go to your tomb every Qingming Festival. Do you have any other explanations? I try to do it. After all, death is the greatest
Jiang Xu
Jiang Xu looked at him for a long time, then said with a bitter smile, "Xiaolan, you are more heartless than I thought."
"Don't you want to die? I'll do what you want, I'll help you with your affairs, I'll help you with your inheritance, and I'll help you with your grave sweeping. Am I heartless? Is there anyone else who will do this for you besides me? Oh, your assistants and agents may be, but you don't care. You don't have them in your eyes. It's just you. It's just you
"You're trapped in your own self pity, and you can't get out, and you don't want to get out. I try my best to pull you out, but after so many years, I try my best, but I can't pull you out. So I gave up. I don't want to pull you any more. If you want to be trapped there all your life, what's the use of outsiders' efforts? You might as well save your strength. "
"You know that if you want to, if you want to now, I can come out." Jiang Xudao.
"But I don't want to." Lin Anlan calmly said, "I'm not a saint. I have seven emotions and six desires. I don't want to give myself up to others. I just want to have a good life of my own."
"It doesn't matter if I die, does it?"
"Not really." Lin Anlan looked at his fragile expression, and his tone was always calm, "these are two different things, which should not be discussed together. I didn't want you to die, and you don't need to die. Your death and my love are independent of each other. It's just that you want to tie them together and kidnap my feelings. From this point of view, I am the victim. So why don't you ask yourself, even if you turn me into a victim, you don't care? "
"You always said before that you knew you were wrong, you will never say again that you like me, I am your good friend, but now you put me on the grill again. I said, you don't care about me, you don't believe it, you say you care, but the result? Once I don't like what you want, you'll be unhappy. You'll try to make me unhappy. You want me to compromise and do what you want me to do. Do you think it's credible that you know you're wrong and you care about me? I don't believe it. "
"I care about you. If I don't care about you, how can I do that?" Jiang Xu cried anxiously.
"You're not." Lin Anlan shook his head, "you just care about yourself, so when you need me, I should be by your side, this is not about me, because from the beginning to the end, you have not considered my mood."
Lin Anlan sighed and approached him, "we've only been apart for a long time. I'm not completely missing you. You're going to kidnap my feelings like this. If you follow your logic, Cheng Yu has probably committed suicide 16 times, and I have to bear the guilt that I didn't kill Biren, but Biren died because of me, and then I will regret his memory all my life. "
"You always love to compare with Cheng Yu. I never put you with him before, because I don't want you to compare with him. I think it's bad for you. I'm afraid you care too much about him and envy him. But I don't put you together, but you secretly compare yourself with him. Do you see the difference between you and him? "
"Cheng Yu has liked me for so long, but I haven't seen him. He's frustrated and miserable, but he didn't think about suicide, which makes me feel guilty. Why? Because life is very important, because he can see other people who care about him besides me, and because he doesn't want me, because he feels bad. He is not much happier than you, but he lives soberly. He treats himself and his life well
"You ask me why I can forgive him but not you, because he cares about me. He says that he likes me, that is, he really likes me. For me, he can endure even you. He can be scared by himself, but he also let me contact you. If it were you, would you? Of course you won't. when I don't have amnesia, you don't want me to associate with him, let alone amnesia? "
"Just like now, he doesn't want to see you very much, but he will still come to see you. Because he cares about me, he respects my decision, my mood. However, you don't care, so you can choose to commit suicide, and even hope I feel guilty after you die. "
"But why should I feel guilty? As a friend, I didn't feel guilty for you when I was alive. After you died, I helped you to take care of your affairs. What can I feel guilty about, just because I didn't give up my love for you? Loveliness itself is a matter for two people. As the third person, what qualifications do you have for me to give up? "
"So even if you die, I won't feel guilty. Maybe someone will kidnap me morally, but you don't care about other people's moral kidnapping, so I don't need to feel guilty for your leaving. "
Jiang Xu looked at him with a fragile look and could not speak.
He always knew that Lin Anlan was rational, but he didn't expect that he would be so rational.
What else can he say? Even if he died, Lin Anlan would not care about him any more.
"The Cheng family won't allow you to be with Cheng Yu." He said.
"It's not something you should care about."
"Of course I care, because Cheng Yu's grandfather called me and said that he wanted me to recognize my ancestors. Xiao Lan, do you think I should promise him?" Jiang Xu said on purpose.
"It's your business. It's none of my business."
"How can it be irrelevant? At this time, he asked me to go back to my ancestors, for what? Don't you know? "
"So?" Lin Anlan asked him.
"I can not go back, you break up, I don't ask us to go back to the past, but I can't see you really with Cheng Yu!"
Lin Anlan laughed, he said, "then you go back."
"Don't you worry that I will go back and affect the happiness of his family?"
"I don't worry, I believe he can solve it."
"How does he solve it?" Jiang Xu stares at him, "as long as you two are together, you will have no children, but I will have children. Who do you think the Cheng family will choose?"
Lin Anlan looked at him as if he saw his mother for a moment.
He felt the fate of the reincarnation in a moment, and felt sad and ridiculous.
"That's what your mother thought at the time." He said, "she thinks that when she has a child, Cheng summit gives her a place, which will let her into the Cheng family. At worst, she will also give her money. Now, you also think of children. You two are really mother and son."
Jiang Xu was stunned for a moment, and retorted excitedly, "no, we are different. I recognize my ancestors first, and then I have children. I am different from her!"
"The same." Lin Anlan whispered, "it's all the same."
"Cheng Yu's grandfather is willing to let you go back because Cheng Yu won't have his own children, but you can have them. They all depend on their children. After your child is born, even if Cheng Yu won't have his own child, he will have adopted son. You will compare your child with his. You will hope your child is better than his. If he doesn't have Cheng Yu's child, you will be disappointed, unwilling and complain to him. "
"Then, he will grow up like you and become another you now."
"No!" "I won't let him do this, I won't," cried Jiang Xu
"You will, you can't control it. Once you go into Cheng's house, your heart of contrast will only be stronger. What you don't get, you will want your children to get it."
Lin Anlan looked sadly at the person in front of her, "you hate your mother, but you and she are really like each other. When she was young, she dreamed of marrying the Cheng family and becoming the wife of the Cheng family, so she secretly conceived you and longed to enter the Cheng family with you. Now, you also want to enter the Cheng family and become the young master of the Cheng family, so you want to recognize your ancestors and become his son by your willingness to leave blood for the Cheng family and Cheng Feng. You two are just going to the same destination
Jiang Xu was stunned and didn't speak any more.
He couldn't believe that he had become the mother he used to hate.
"But you are luckier than her. The Cheng family may not allow you to fall in love freely and let you like the people you really like, but they will always arrange a good marriage for you. At that time, I hope you can love each other more and your children more. Don't let your children grow up like you, You're trapped in resentment against others that you can't get. "
Jiang Xu looked at him and murmured in a low voice, "No
Lin Anlan didn't say anything. He just felt that he was full of a sense of powerlessness towards fate. After a round trip, Jiang Xu became another Jiang Liying, the mother he once loved and hated most.
This dramatic overlapping of fate left him with only sorrow and pity.
"I wish you happiness." He said, "I wish your children happiness, too."
Jiang Xu's eyes are confused, painful, at a loss, and unwilling to believe.
Lin Anlan turns around and goes out. When he opens the door, he hears Jiang Xu calling after him, "Xiao Lan."
He looked back at his best friend, who had grown up, who was pale on the bed.
He seemed to see them playing together, learning together, standing on the peak of the mountain, walking through the darkness in the moonlight.
During the two most painful stages of his life, when his adoptive mother and father left one after another, only Jiang Xu, a good friend from childhood to adulthood, was with him.
If life can go forward, without stopping, every stop, their important people do not get off, are accompanied by their own towards the end of life, then how good.
But life is destined to be a stop and go train. When the train stops and arrives at the station, someone gets off and someone gets on.
He smiles at Jiang Xu, gentle and tolerant. He says, "thank you for being with me from childhood. You're very good. I'm very happy growing up with you. So live well. You can have a lot of happiness. Don't put your eyes on me. I've met new people to accompany me, You will also meet people who are more suitable for you to accompany you. "
"A friend is like this. He will accompany you through most of the long time in your life, but he will also meet his lover, form a new family with him, and have his own new happiness."
"It's not a relationship that can't coexist. If I meet you in the future, I will still say hello to you and talk to you well. I don't blame you. Jiang Xu, really, I forgive you. I don't blame you."
Jiang Xu's tears blurred his eyes. He looked at the people who were not far away from him and had a warm smile. They had known each other since childhood. They had gone through spring, summer, autumn and winter together. They had gone through their childhood and more than ten years.
They have seen each other's most tender appearance, and they have also seen each other's most sad appearance. They hold hands and then wave goodbye to each other when they come to the stop of the youth.
But he doesn't want to wave, he wants to stay with him, he wants to stay with him forever, but he doesn't need it anymore.
His tears continued to flow down, he lowered his head, holding his knees.
Lin Anlan turns around and can't bear to see him like this.
He heard Jiang Xu's voice coming from behind him, stuffy, depressed, with less obvious cry, hoarse said, "I won't go back, I promised you, I won't see him again, I won't go back."
"I lied to you. I just lied to you on purpose."
Lin Anlan looked back at him, only to see his dark hair and slightly trembling shoulders.
The late spring sun fell on him and put him in the light. After all, he was lucky that he did not repeat his mother's mistakes.
Lin Anlan replied with a smile, "that's good."
He turned and walked out of the door, taking a last look at his former good friend.
The light slowly extended behind him, as if he had finally grown his own wings.
Lin Anlan said softly, "goodbye."
He closed the door and went to his lover.
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144
Lin Anlan and Cheng Yu came to see him the next day.
Seeing Cheng Yu, Jiang Xu opened his head and said coldly, "get out."
Cheng Yu doesn't want to see him either. Wen Sheng says to Lin Anlan, "I'll wait for you outside."
"Well."
Cheng Yu left, leaving only Jiang Xu and Lin Anlan in the ward.
Jiang Xu sat on the bed and looked at him for a long time before he said, "I thought I would never see you again."
Lin Anlan chuckled, "I think too much. When did you want to see me? Most of the time, as long as you want to see it, you will see it, won't you? "
"If so, have we only met three or five times in half a year?"
"How many times would you like to see her? Thirty or fifty? It's not necessary. "
He looked at Jiang Xu, eyes calm, "are you intentional? You want to die on purpose? "
"No?" Jiang Xu turned his head and looked out of the window. "I'm like this now. What's the point of living?"
"What are you like now?" Lin Anlan asked him, "there are agents, assistants and fans. If you get hurt, other people around you can't worry. Your agents dare not let your fans know, for fear that they can't bear it. Don't you care?"
"And you? Are you worried? " Jiang Xu turned his head back.
"If I don't worry, why am I standing here today? Do I have too much time to go anywhere? " Lin Anlan said frankly.
Jiang Xu Leng for a moment, incredible, "you worry about me?"
"I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about your life. Today, if you are not lying here, but my fans, as long as I come, he can be OK, I am willing to go, because I fear life, and I cherish life. "
"But you don't cherish it. You have great capital, but you still want to die. Do you think you are too happy?"
"I'm happy?" Jiang Xu seems to have heard a joke, "what can I be happy about? My parents don't want me. My friends abandon me. Where is my happiness? If I'm really happy, will I feel that I don't have to live? "
"I've never been happy, so I'm tired of the world."
"Then go to hell." Lin Anlan said calmly, "if you really feel that you are so unhappy, there is no meaning in living, then you go to die."
Jiang Xu couldn't believe it. He tried hard to see the look on Lin Anlan's face, but he only saw the calm on his face.
"After you die, I'll help you with your funeral. You choose your own cemetery in advance, and I'll help you put the ashes in. You'd better write a will for your property. Otherwise, according to the law, it is estimated that it will be left to your father and your mother. Cheng Feng probably won't want your inheritance, but your mother should be willing to. If you don't want to give it to her, write a will in advance. "
Jiang Xu
Lin Anlan thought about it and said, "don't worry, I will go to your tomb every Qingming Festival. Do you have any other explanations? I try to do it. After all, death is the greatest
Jiang Xu
Jiang Xu looked at him for a long time, then said with a bitter smile, "Xiaolan, you are more heartless than I thought."
"Don't you want to die? I'll do what you want, I'll help you with your affairs, I'll help you with your inheritance, and I'll help you with your grave sweeping. Am I heartless? Is there anyone else who will do this for you besides me? Oh, your assistants and agents may be, but you don't care. You don't have them in your eyes. It's just you. It's just you
"You're trapped in your own self pity, and you can't get out, and you don't want to get out. I try my best to pull you out, but after so many years, I try my best, but I can't pull you out. So I gave up. I don't want to pull you any more. If you want to be trapped there all your life, what's the use of outsiders' efforts? You might as well save your strength. "
"You know that if you want to, if you want to now, I can come out." Jiang Xudao.
"But I don't want to." Lin Anlan calmly said, "I'm not a saint. I have seven emotions and six desires. I don't want to give myself up to others. I just want to have a good life of my own."
"It doesn't matter if I die, does it?"
"Not really." Lin Anlan looked at his fragile expression, and his tone was always calm, "these are two different things, which should not be discussed together. I didn't want you to die, and you don't need to die. Your death and my love are independent of each other. It's just that you want to tie them together and kidnap my feelings. From this point of view, I am the victim. So why don't you ask yourself, even if you turn me into a victim, you don't care? "
"You always said before that you knew you were wrong, you will never say again that you like me, I am your good friend, but now you put me on the grill again. I said, you don't care about me, you don't believe it, you say you care, but the result? Once I don't like what you want, you'll be unhappy. You'll try to make me unhappy. You want me to compromise and do what you want me to do. Do you think it's credible that you know you're wrong and you care about me? I don't believe it. "
"I care about you. If I don't care about you, how can I do that?" Jiang Xu cried anxiously.
"You're not." Lin Anlan shook his head, "you just care about yourself, so when you need me, I should be by your side, this is not about me, because from the beginning to the end, you have not considered my mood."
Lin Anlan sighed and approached him, "we've only been apart for a long time. I'm not completely missing you. You're going to kidnap my feelings like this. If you follow your logic, Cheng Yu has probably committed suicide 16 times, and I have to bear the guilt that I didn't kill Biren, but Biren died because of me, and then I will regret his memory all my life. "
"You always love to compare with Cheng Yu. I never put you with him before, because I don't want you to compare with him. I think it's bad for you. I'm afraid you care too much about him and envy him. But I don't put you together, but you secretly compare yourself with him. Do you see the difference between you and him? "
"Cheng Yu has liked me for so long, but I haven't seen him. He's frustrated and miserable, but he didn't think about suicide, which makes me feel guilty. Why? Because life is very important, because he can see other people who care about him besides me, and because he doesn't want me, because he feels bad. He is not much happier than you, but he lives soberly. He treats himself and his life well
"You ask me why I can forgive him but not you, because he cares about me. He says that he likes me, that is, he really likes me. For me, he can endure even you. He can be scared by himself, but he also let me contact you. If it were you, would you? Of course you won't. when I don't have amnesia, you don't want me to associate with him, let alone amnesia? "
"Just like now, he doesn't want to see you very much, but he will still come to see you. Because he cares about me, he respects my decision, my mood. However, you don't care, so you can choose to commit suicide, and even hope I feel guilty after you die. "
"But why should I feel guilty? As a friend, I didn't feel guilty for you when I was alive. After you died, I helped you to take care of your affairs. What can I feel guilty about, just because I didn't give up my love for you? Loveliness itself is a matter for two people. As the third person, what qualifications do you have for me to give up? "
"So even if you die, I won't feel guilty. Maybe someone will kidnap me morally, but you don't care about other people's moral kidnapping, so I don't need to feel guilty for your leaving. "
Jiang Xu looked at him with a fragile look and could not speak.
He always knew that Lin Anlan was rational, but he didn't expect that he would be so rational.
What else can he say? Even if he died, Lin Anlan would not care about him any more.
"The Cheng family won't allow you to be with Cheng Yu." He said.
"It's not something you should care about."
"Of course I care, because Cheng Yu's grandfather called me and said that he wanted me to recognize my ancestors. Xiao Lan, do you think I should promise him?" Jiang Xu said on purpose.
"It's your business. It's none of my business."
"How can it be irrelevant? At this time, he asked me to go back to my ancestors, for what? Don't you know? "
"So?" Lin Anlan asked him.
"I can not go back, you break up, I don't ask us to go back to the past, but I can't see you really with Cheng Yu!"
Lin Anlan laughed, he said, "then you go back."
"Don't you worry that I will go back and affect the happiness of his family?"
"I don't worry, I believe he can solve it."
"How does he solve it?" Jiang Xu stares at him, "as long as you two are together, you will have no children, but I will have children. Who do you think the Cheng family will choose?"
Lin Anlan looked at him as if he saw his mother for a moment.
He felt the fate of the reincarnation in a moment, and felt sad and ridiculous.
"That's what your mother thought at the time." He said, "she thinks that when she has a child, Cheng summit gives her a place, which will let her into the Cheng family. At worst, she will also give her money. Now, you also think of children. You two are really mother and son."
Jiang Xu was stunned for a moment, and retorted excitedly, "no, we are different. I recognize my ancestors first, and then I have children. I am different from her!"
"The same." Lin Anlan whispered, "it's all the same."
"Cheng Yu's grandfather is willing to let you go back because Cheng Yu won't have his own children, but you can have them. They all depend on their children. After your child is born, even if Cheng Yu won't have his own child, he will have adopted son. You will compare your child with his. You will hope your child is better than his. If he doesn't have Cheng Yu's child, you will be disappointed, unwilling and complain to him. "
"Then, he will grow up like you and become another you now."
"No!" "I won't let him do this, I won't," cried Jiang Xu
"You will, you can't control it. Once you go into Cheng's house, your heart of contrast will only be stronger. What you don't get, you will want your children to get it."
Lin Anlan looked sadly at the person in front of her, "you hate your mother, but you and she are really like each other. When she was young, she dreamed of marrying the Cheng family and becoming the wife of the Cheng family, so she secretly conceived you and longed to enter the Cheng family with you. Now, you also want to enter the Cheng family and become the young master of the Cheng family, so you want to recognize your ancestors and become his son by your willingness to leave blood for the Cheng family and Cheng Feng. You two are just going to the same destination
Jiang Xu was stunned and didn't speak any more.
He couldn't believe that he had become the mother he used to hate.
"But you are luckier than her. The Cheng family may not allow you to fall in love freely and let you like the people you really like, but they will always arrange a good marriage for you. At that time, I hope you can love each other more and your children more. Don't let your children grow up like you, You're trapped in resentment against others that you can't get. "
Jiang Xu looked at him and murmured in a low voice, "No
Lin Anlan didn't say anything. He just felt that he was full of a sense of powerlessness towards fate. After a round trip, Jiang Xu became another Jiang Liying, the mother he once loved and hated most.
This dramatic overlapping of fate left him with only sorrow and pity.
"I wish you happiness." He said, "I wish your children happiness, too."
Jiang Xu's eyes are confused, painful, at a loss, and unwilling to believe.
Lin Anlan turns around and goes out. When he opens the door, he hears Jiang Xu calling after him, "Xiao Lan."
He looked back at his best friend, who had grown up, who was pale on the bed.
He seemed to see them playing together, learning together, standing on the peak of the mountain, walking through the darkness in the moonlight.
During the two most painful stages of his life, when his adoptive mother and father left one after another, only Jiang Xu, a good friend from childhood to adulthood, was with him.
If life can go forward, without stopping, every stop, their important people do not get off, are accompanied by their own towards the end of life, then how good.
But life is destined to be a stop and go train. When the train stops and arrives at the station, someone gets off and someone gets on.
He smiles at Jiang Xu, gentle and tolerant. He says, "thank you for being with me from childhood. You're very good. I'm very happy growing up with you. So live well. You can have a lot of happiness. Don't put your eyes on me. I've met new people to accompany me, You will also meet people who are more suitable for you to accompany you. "
"A friend is like this. He will accompany you through most of the long time in your life, but he will also meet his lover, form a new family with him, and have his own new happiness."
"It's not a relationship that can't coexist. If I meet you in the future, I will still say hello to you and talk to you well. I don't blame you. Jiang Xu, really, I forgive you. I don't blame you."
Jiang Xu's tears blurred his eyes. He looked at the people who were not far away from him and had a warm smile. They had known each other since childhood. They had gone through spring, summer, autumn and winter together. They had gone through their childhood and more than ten years.
They have seen each other's most tender appearance, and they have also seen each other's most sad appearance. They hold hands and then wave goodbye to each other when they come to the stop of the youth.
But he doesn't want to wave, he wants to stay with him, he wants to stay with him forever, but he doesn't need it anymore.
His tears continued to flow down, he lowered his head, holding his knees.
Lin Anlan turns around and can't bear to see him like this.
He heard Jiang Xu's voice coming from behind him, stuffy, depressed, with less obvious cry, hoarse said, "I won't go back, I promised you, I won't see him again, I won't go back."
"I lied to you. I just lied to you on purpose."
Lin Anlan looked back at him, only to see his dark hair and slightly trembling shoulders.
The late spring sun fell on him and put him in the light. After all, he was lucky that he did not repeat his mother's mistakes.
Lin Anlan replied with a smile, "that's good."
He turned and walked out of the door, taking a last look at his former good friend.
The light slowly extended behind him, as if he had finally grown his own wings.
Lin Anlan said softly, "goodbye."
He closed the door and went to his lover.
144Lin Anlan and Cheng Yu came to see him the next day.Seeing Cheng Yu, Jiang Xu opened his head and said coldly, "get out."Cheng Yu doesn't want to see him either. Wen Sheng says to Lin Anlan, "I'll wait for you outside.""Well."Cheng Yu left, leaving only Jiang Xu and Lin Anlan in the ward.Jiang Xu sat on the bed and looked at him for a long time before he said, "I thought I would never see you again."Lin Anlan chuckled, "I think too much. When did you want to see me? Most of the time, as long as you want to see it, you will see it, won't you? ""If so, have we only met three or five times in half a year?""How many times would you like to see her? Thirty or fifty? It's not necessary. "He looked at Jiang Xu, eyes calm, "are you intentional? You want to die on purpose? ""No?" Jiang Xu turned his head and looked out of the window. "I'm like this now. What's the point of living?""What are you like now?" Lin Anlan asked him, "there are agents, assistants and fans. If you get hurt, other people around you can't worry. Your agents dare not let your fans know, for fear that they can't bear it. Don't you care?""And you? Are you worried? " Jiang Xu turned his head back."If I don't worry, why am I standing here today? Do I have too much time to go anywhere? " Lin Anlan said frankly.Jiang Xu Leng for a moment, incredible, "you worry about me?""I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about your life. Today, if you are not lying here, but my fans, as long as I come, he can be OK, I am willing to go, because I fear life, and I cherish life. ""But you don't cherish it. You have great capital, but you still want to die. Do you think you are too happy?""I'm happy?" Jiang Xu seems to have heard a joke, "what can I be happy about? My parents don't want me. My friends abandon me. Where is my happiness? If I'm really happy, will I feel that I don't have to live? ""I've never been happy, so I'm tired of the world.""Then go to hell." Lin Anlan said calmly, "if you really feel that you are so unhappy, there is no meaning in living, then you go to die."Jiang Xu couldn't believe it. He tried hard to see the look on Lin Anlan's face, but he only saw the calm on his face."After you die, I'll help you with your funeral. You choose your own cemetery in advance, and I'll help you put the ashes in. You'd better write a will for your property. Otherwise, according to the law, it is estimated that it will be left to your father and your mother. Cheng Feng probably won't want your inheritance, but your mother should be willing to. If you don't want to give it to her, write a will in advance. "Jiang XuLin Anlan thought about it and said, "don't worry, I will go to your tomb every Qingming Festival. Do you have any other explanations? I try to do it. After all, death is the greatestJiang XuJiang Xu looked at him for a long time, then said with a bitter smile, "Xiaolan, you are more heartless than I thought.""Don't you want to die? I'll do what you want, I'll help you with your affairs, I'll help you with your inheritance, and I'll help you with your grave sweeping. Am I heartless? Is there anyone else who will do this for you besides me? Oh, your assistants and agents may be, but you don't care. You don't have them in your eyes. It's just you. It's just you"You're trapped in your own self pity, and you can't get out, and you don't want to get out. I try my best to pull you out, but after so many years, I try my best, but I can't pull you out. So I gave up. I don't want to pull you any more. If you want to be trapped there all your life, what's the use of outsiders' efforts? You might as well save your strength. ""You know that if you want to, if you want to now, I can come out." Jiang Xudao."But I don't want to." Lin Anlan calmly said, "I'm not a saint. I have seven emotions and six desires. I don't want to give myself up to others. I just want to have a good life of my own.""It doesn't matter if I die, does it?""Not really." Lin Anlan looked at his fragile expression, and his tone was always calm, "these are two different things, which should not be discussed together. I didn't want you to die, and you don't need to die. Your death and my love are independent of each other. It's just that you want to tie them together and kidnap my feelings. From this point of view, I am the victim. So why don't you ask yourself, even if you turn me into a victim, you don't care? ""You always said before that you knew you were wrong, you will never say again that you like me, I am your good friend, but now you put me on the grill again. I said, you don't care about me, you don't believe it, you say you care, but the result? Once I don't like what you want, you'll be unhappy. You'll try to make me unhappy. You want me to compromise and do what you want me to do. Do you think it's credible that you know you're wrong and you care about me? I don't believe it. ""I care about you. If I don't care about you, how can I do that?" Jiang Xu cried anxiously."You're not." Lin Anlan shook his head, "you just care about yourself, so when you need me, I should be by your side, this is not about me, because from the beginning to the end, you have not considered my mood."Lin Anlan sighed and approached him, "we've only been apart for a long time. I'm not completely missing you. You're going to kidnap my feelings like this. If you follow your logic, Cheng Yu has probably committed suicide 16 times, and I have to bear the guilt that I didn't kill Biren, but Biren died because of me, and then I will regret his memory all my life. ""You always love to compare with Cheng Yu. I never put you with him before, because I don't want you to compare with him. I think it's bad for you. I'm afraid you care too much about him and envy him. But I don't put you together, but you secretly compare yourself with him. Do you see the difference between you and him? ""Cheng Yu has liked me for so long, but I haven't seen him. He's frustrated and miserable, but he didn't think about suicide, which makes me feel guilty. Why? Because life is very important, because he can see other people who care about him besides me, and because he doesn't want me, because he feels bad. He is not much happier than you, but he lives soberly. He treats himself and his life well"You ask me why I can forgive him but not you, because he cares about me. He says that he likes me, that is, he really likes me. For me, he can endure even you. He can be scared by himself, but he also let me contact you. If it were you, would you? Of course you won't. when I don't have amnesia, you don't want me to associate with him, let alone amnesia? ""Just like now, he doesn't want to see you very much, but he will still come to see you. Because he cares about me, he respects my decision, my mood. However, you don't care, so you can choose to commit suicide, and even hope I feel guilty after you die. ""But why should I feel guilty? As a friend, I didn't feel guilty for you when I was alive. After you died, I helped you to take care of your affairs. What can I feel guilty about, just because I didn't give up my love for you? Loveliness itself is a matter for two people. As the third person, what qualifications do you have for me to give up? ""So even if you die, I won't feel guilty. Maybe someone will kidnap me morally, but you don't care about other people's moral kidnapping, so I don't need to feel guilty for your leaving. "Jiang Xu looked at him with a fragile look and could not speak.He always knew that Lin Anlan was rational, but he didn't expect that he would be so rational.What else can he say? Even if he died, Lin Anlan would not care about him any more."The Cheng family won't allow you to be with Cheng Yu." He said."It's not something you should care about.""Of course I care, because Cheng Yu's grandfather called me and said that he wanted me to recognize my ancestors. Xiao Lan, do you think I should promise him?" Jiang Xu said on purpose."It's your business. It's none of my business.""How can it be irrelevant? At this time, he asked me to go back to my ancestors, for what? Don't you know? ""So?" Lin Anlan asked him."I can not go back, you break up, I don't ask us to go back to the past, but I can't see you really with Cheng Yu!"Lin Anlan laughed, he said, "then you go back.""Don't you worry that I will go back and affect the happiness of his family?""I don't worry, I believe he can solve it.""How does he solve it?" Jiang Xu stares at him, "as long as you two are together, you will have no children, but I will have children. Who do you think the Cheng family will choose?"Lin Anlan looked at him as if he saw his mother for a moment.He felt the fate of the reincarnation in a moment, and felt sad and ridiculous."That's what your mother thought at the time." He said, "she thinks that when she has a child, Cheng summit gives her a place, which will let her into the Cheng family. At worst, she will also give her money. Now, you also think of children. You two are really mother and son."Jiang Xu was stunned for a moment, and retorted excitedly, "no, we are different. I recognize my ancestors first, and then I have children. I am different from her!""The same." Lin Anlan whispered, "it's all the same.""Cheng Yu's grandfather is willing to let you go back because Cheng Yu won't have his own children, but you can have them. They all depend on their children. After your child is born, even if Cheng Yu won't have his own child, he will have adopted son. You will compare your child with his. You will hope your child is better than his. If he doesn't have Cheng Yu's child, you will be disappointed, unwilling and complain to him. ""Then, he will grow up like you and become another you now.""No!" "I won't let him do this, I won't," cried Jiang Xu"You will, you can't control it. Once you go into Cheng's house, your heart of contrast will only be stronger. What you don't get, you will want your children to get it."Lin Anlan looked sadly at the person in front of her, "you hate your mother, but you and she are really like each other. When she was young, she dreamed of marrying the Cheng family and becoming the wife of the Cheng family, so she secretly conceived you and longed to enter the Cheng family with you. Now, you also want to enter the Cheng family and become the young master of the Cheng family, so you want to recognize your ancestors and become his son by your willingness to leave blood for the Cheng family and Cheng Feng. You two are just going to the same destinationJiang Xu was stunned and didn't speak any more.He couldn't believe that he had become the mother he used to hate."But you are luckier than her. The Cheng family may not allow you to fall in love freely and let you like the people you really like, but they will always arrange a good marriage for you. At that time, I hope you can love each other more and your children more. Don't let your children grow up like you, You're trapped in resentment against others that you can't get. "Jiang Xu looked at him and murmured in a low voice, "NoLin Anlan didn't say anything. He just felt that he was full of a sense of powerlessness towards fate. After a round trip, Jiang Xu became another Jiang Liying, the mother he once loved and hated most.This dramatic overlapping of fate left him with only sorrow and pity."I wish you happiness." He said, "I wish your children happiness, too."Jiang Xu's eyes are confused, painful, at a loss, and unwilling to believe.Lin Anlan turns around and goes out. When he opens the door, he hears Jiang Xu calling after him, "Xiao Lan."He looked back at his best friend, who had grown up, who was pale on the bed.He seemed to see them playing together, learning together, standing on the peak of the mountain, walking through the darkness in the moonlight.During the two most painful stages of his life, when his adoptive mother and father left one after another, only Jiang Xu, a good friend from childhood to adulthood, was with him.If life can go forward, without stopping, every stop, their important people do not get off, are accompanied by their own towards the end of life, then how good.But life is destined to be a stop and go train. When the train stops and arrives at the station, someone gets off and someone gets on.He smiles at Jiang Xu, gentle and tolerant. He says, "thank you for being with me from childhood. You're very good. I'm very happy growing up with you. So live well. You can have a lot of happiness. Don't put your eyes on me. I've met new people to accompany me, You will also meet people who are more suitable for you to accompany you. ""A friend is like this. He will accompany you through most of the long time in your life, but he will also meet his lover, form a new family with him, and have his own new happiness.""It's not a relationship that can't coexist. If I meet you in the future, I will still say hello to you and talk to you well. I don't blame you. Jiang Xu, really, I forgive you. I don't blame you."Jiang Xu's tears blurred his eyes. He looked at the people who were not far away from him and had a warm smile. They had known each other since childhood. They had gone through spring, summer, autumn and winter together. They had gone through their childhood and more than ten years.They have seen each other's most tender appearance, and they have also seen each other's most sad appearance. They hold hands and then wave goodbye to each other when they come to the stop of the youth.But he doesn't want to wave, he wants to stay with him, he wants to stay with him forever, but he doesn't need it anymore.His tears continued to flow down, he lowered his head, holding his knees.Lin Anlan turns around and can't bear to see him like this.He heard Jiang Xu's voice coming from behind him, stuffy, depressed, with less obvious cry, hoarse said, "I won't go back, I promised you, I won't see him again, I won't go back.""I lied to you. I just lied to you on purpose."Lin Anlan looked back at him, only to see his dark hair and slightly trembling shoulders.The late spring sun fell on him and put him in the light. After all, he was lucky that he did not repeat his mother's mistakes.Lin Anlan replied with a smile, "that's good."He turned and walked out of the door, taking a last look at his former good friend.The light slowly extended behind him, as if he had finally grown his own wings.Lin Anlan said softly, "goodbye."He closed the door and went to his lover.
