Self-awareness and priority
****
The scratching of the cloth, the nervous breathing, the nib of the pen scratching the paper. They should all be small sounds, but they have been pounding in her ears for some time now, perhaps because her nerves are so sharpened by the current situation.
It’s hard for anyone to know how fast their heart is beating, but it’s pounding so loudly that she thinks everyone around her can hear it. Of course, that’s not possible.
“Vio-chan, your hands stopped moving, do you have something you don’t understand?”
“What? Oh, …… I’m fine. No problem.”
There are no problems. In fact, she feels that everything is going in the right direction. She’s sure she’ll get a better score than last time.
As usual, he nodded with a smile and said, “I see.” Basically, Yulan tends to believe everything that Violette says.
However, at the moment, she feels very uncomfortable as usual.
She’s not all right, and there’s a lot of problems. She wonders if Yulan was so dull that he doesn’t notice it. But it does make sense, because Violette doesn’t doubt Yulan, either.
But still, she wonders about this place, this group.
“Violette, there is probably a change in the text there. I believe the teacher in charge is ……”
His golden hair hangs down in front of her, following gravity. His fingertips point to the printout that Violette is working on.
It’s actually a past test question that Violette borrowed.
She knows exactly what she’s doing, and she understands it very well.
She wonders how it came to this.
****
It all started when Yulan came to invite Violette to study for a test.
At that time, she had no questions; in fact, it was only natural since she owed herself a test of the past.
However, she didn’t need to study anymore because she already had studied it before, so she wanted to refuse Yulan but Violette is thinking hard and worrying.
It was almost a refusal, but it was still sitting in Violette’s hands. It’s okay because she only leaves a few prints at the school, but she’s worried that it will be inconvenient to review them at home.
In fact, it didn’t matter because Yulan wouldn’t study on his own unless he was with Violette.
It’s been a few days since she went to the library with him.
Violette was planning to go to a less crowded place, as usual, when Yulan came to her with a suggestion.
“There’s someone who has last year’s second grade test questions that I could borrow them, so let’s study there today.”
“Okay….”
Last year she was a second year student, now she’s a third year student.
It took her a long time to swallow the obvious. Violette is confused, and Yulan just smiles at her, not rushing her, but not explaining anything in particular.
He just waits patiently, like a loyal dog, for Violette to speak.
In the silence of the room, Violette realized that Yulan had done all she wanted to say, and let out a sigh that was a mixture of dismay and resignation.
“….Yulan, you know someone in third year?”
No, Violette knew that he knew someone, but she couldn’t imagine Yulan coming into contact with the person she imagined. Violette has a gentle demeanour about her, but she is not so naive as to think that she knows everything about Yulan just from his appearance.
Violette knows very well that Yulan is not very good with Claudia. The whole school is aware of the complexity of their relationship.
As an extension of this, Yulan doesn’t interact much with Claudia’s peers, namely the current third-year students,……at least that’s what Violette thought until today. It seems that she was wrong. If she thinks about it, it’s no wonder that the good-natured Yulan’s social circle spans across the grades.
“Well, hey….”
“…..?”
“Let’s go, then. They’re probably already there.”
“Well, ……, I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.”
Her expression fades for a moment, but quickly regains its serenity. It’s the kind of change that some people would dismiss as a mistake. But they’re not the kind of people to miss it.
And Violette knows very well that if she were to pursue the matter, she would never get an answer.
She’s not bothered, thinking she would find out when she gets there anyway.
She starts to imagine the room at the end of the path, which turns into conviction, and she looks up at Yulan again and again in disbelief, but there’s no reply.
Even though he’s walking diagonally behind her, it’s impossible for Yulan not to be aware of Violette’s feelings…… In other words, he knows and he’s not going to explain.
She arrived at the student council room.
And now, in a council room, Violette is being watched by Claudia, who should have been the first to be eliminated from the list.
She really doesn’t know how it came to this.
Self-awareness and priority
****
The scratching of the cloth, the nervous breathing, the nib of the pen scratching the paper. They should all be small sounds, but they have been pounding in her ears for some time now, perhaps because her nerves are so sharpened by the current situation.
It’s hard for anyone to know how fast their heart is beating, but it’s pounding so loudly that she thinks everyone around her can hear it. Of course, that’s not possible.
“Vio-chan, your hands stopped moving, do you have something you don’t understand?”
“What? Oh, …… I’m fine. No problem.”
There are no problems. In fact, she feels that everything is going in the right direction. She’s sure she’ll get a better score than last time.
As usual, he nodded with a smile and said, “I see.” Basically, Yulan tends to believe everything that Violette says.
However, at the moment, she feels very uncomfortable as usual.
She’s not all right, and there’s a lot of problems. She wonders if Yulan was so dull that he doesn’t notice it. But it does make sense, because Violette doesn’t doubt Yulan, either.
But still, she wonders about this place, this group.
“Violette, there is probably a change in the text there. I believe the teacher in charge is ……”
His golden hair hangs down in front of her, following gravity. His fingertips point to the printout that Violette is working on.
It’s actually a past test question that Violette borrowed.
She knows exactly what she’s doing, and she understands it very well.
She wonders how it came to this.
****
It all started when Yulan came to invite Violette to study for a test.
At that time, she had no questions; in fact, it was only natural since she owed herself a test of the past.
However, she didn’t need to study anymore because she already had studied it before, so she wanted to refuse Yulan but Violette is thinking hard and worrying.
It was almost a refusal, but it was still sitting in Violette’s hands. It’s okay because she only leaves a few prints at the school, but she’s worried that it will be inconvenient to review them at home.
In fact, it didn’t matter because Yulan wouldn’t study on his own unless he was with Violette.
It’s been a few days since she went to the library with him.
Violette was planning to go to a less crowded place, as usual, when Yulan came to her with a suggestion.
“There’s someone who has last year’s second grade test questions that I could borrow them, so let’s study there today.”
“Okay….”
Last year she was a second year student, now she’s a third year student.
It took her a long time to swallow the obvious. Violette is confused, and Yulan just smiles at her, not rushing her, but not explaining anything in particular.
He just waits patiently, like a loyal dog, for Violette to speak.
In the silence of the room, Violette realized that Yulan had done all she wanted to say, and let out a sigh that was a mixture of dismay and resignation.
“….Yulan, you know someone in third year?”
No, Violette knew that he knew someone, but she couldn’t imagine Yulan coming into contact with the person she imagined. Violette has a gentle demeanour about her, but she is not so naive as to think that she knows everything about Yulan just from his appearance.
Violette knows very well that Yulan is not very good with Claudia. The whole school is aware of the complexity of their relationship.
As an extension of this, Yulan doesn’t interact much with Claudia’s peers, namely the current third-year students,……at least that’s what Violette thought until today. It seems that she was wrong. If she thinks about it, it’s no wonder that the good-natured Yulan’s social circle spans across the grades.
“Well, hey….”
“…..?”
“Let’s go, then. They’re probably already there.”
“Well, ……, I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.”
Her expression fades for a moment, but quickly regains its serenity. It’s the kind of change that some people would dismiss as a mistake. But they’re not the kind of people to miss it.
And Violette knows very well that if she were to pursue the matter, she would never get an answer.
She’s not bothered, thinking she would find out when she gets there anyway.
She starts to imagine the room at the end of the path, which turns into conviction, and she looks up at Yulan again and again in disbelief, but there’s no reply.
Even though he’s walking diagonally behind her, it’s impossible for Yulan not to be aware of Violette’s feelings…… In other words, he knows and he’s not going to explain.
She arrived at the student council room.
And now, in a council room, Violette is being watched by Claudia, who should have been the first to be eliminated from the list.
She really doesn’t know how it came to this.
