The phrase 'Like an oncoming freight train' did not do Sass justice.
In the distance the two could hear the sound of pounding boots as someone came barreling through stairwells and corridors to practically burst into the room. Sass was standing there in a green jogging suit. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail and she looked a little disheveled, like she was lounging about and didn't care about her appearance. She frantically looked around the room until she saw the two on the couch.
Jack raised a hand and waved, "Oh hi!" He pointed at Grease, "She was just telling me about the history of your world." He turned back to her while stretching his arms over his head, causing his skimpy wife beater to ride up and show off more of his abs, "I think you were just about to explain something called... sexual harassment?"
Grease got a deer in the headlights look and looked back and forth between Sass and Jack, "Uh... No. Well... Heh. You see... uh..." She swallowed nervously as Sass came stalking over. Grease was about to make up sort sort of excuse, but her mind was derailed by Jack and his antics.
Sass did not appear to be immune to Jack as she stumbled over her words, "Uhhh... Nice, uh... outfit." Sass seemed to be working hard to keep herself from blurting out what was on her mind.
Grease had no such inhibition, "Actually, I have been meaning to ask you about your clothes. Where did you get the... *ahem* outfit?"
Jack jumped up to show off in front of them, "Oh? You like it?" He held his arms out and spun around, causing the already skimpy silk shorts' hemline to lift up, "I went to a second hand store and asked the saleswoman, 'I am apparently supposed to wear a shirt at all times, but I have these wings. Do you have anything you would recommend?'" Jack shrugged, "So she had me try on a bunch of outfits. I mean, a LOT of outfits. It took like, an hour of trying on outfits." He frowned, "Apparently I kept putting them on wrong."
He brightened up, "But she was kind enough to come into the changing booth and help me out until we finally found this!" He turned around to show his back to them, while trying to look over his shoulders at his behind, "The problem was I can't see my back side easily." He looked up at them, "I didn't know how your shorts hang off you was so important on this world."
The two just stared at Jack in stunned silence. Grease mumbled, "Makes me wish I was working retail again," Sass smacked Grease in the back of the head so fast you might miss it.
Jack blinked in surprise, but Sass just pointed at the back of Grease's head, "Bug." Grease rubbed the back of her head and glared up at Sass. Sass glared back at her, "You had a bug on the back of your head."
Grease grumbled something under her breath. Jack snapped his fingers, "Oh! That reminds me! It looks like your arm is doing better! How does it feel?"
Sass held up her arm for inspection, "You helped a lot. Only needed a day in the regen ward to get back to fighting trim."
Grease snorted, "You needed another day, and you know it." She turned to Jack, "She's always worried about our medical expenses."
Jack quirked an eyebrow, "Oh? You need your arm healed more?"
Sass was about to speak when Grease cut her off, "Oh she's going to tell you she's fine when she's not." In a flash of light, Grease was standing next to Jack with her arm around his shoulders, "She's aching all over. You can tell by how she walks. She needs more than a flash heal."
Grease pulled Jack in closer and squeezed his shoulders, "Say! You know, what she could REALLY use is a full body massage." Grease rolled her eyes and held out her other hand dramatically, "But going to the regeneration ward ALONE is SO expensive!" She held the back of her hand against her forehead and turned away with a comically exaggerated expression of anguish, "Do you have any idea how much it costs to hire someone who can do a massage AND heal? There's just no money in the budget for it!" She hung her head in mock sorrow, "It is such a tragedy that Sass must suffer so much for the good of team. She is far too much of a martyr, in my opinion."
Sass's eyes grew wider and wider the longer Grease talked. However, before she could interject, Jack spoke up in a bubbly and enthusiastic manner, "Oh I Can Do That!" He smiled at Sass, "This is a much better idea than eating a cat!" He frowned, "Someone explained what a feline was and I got to see a picture. How could anyone eat such a cute little creature?" He shook his head, "I am trying very hard to live by your society's rules but frankly, that seems gross."
Sass stood there, her jaw moving but no words coming out. Grease jumped in, "Oh, that's just a mistranslation. We were confused by that when you left. That was a turn of phrase. Nobody eats cats."
Jack let out a sigh of relief, "Oh good! My stomach was all in knots coming here. I had no idea how I was going to bring it up."
Sass rubbed her forehead, "I'm getting a headache."
Jack looked concerned, "Oh. Well then. We should get right on that." He thought for a bit, "I need some place where you can lie down with your head over the edge so you can breathe."
Grease snapped her fingers, "How about her bedroom?" She gave Jack's shoulder another quick squeeze while pointing at Sass, "I bet her bed would be perfect to lie down for this."
Sass' eyes bugged out of her head, "No. No WAY!" She started to glare at Grease, "Look you-"
Jack stepped away from Grease to walk up to Sass, "Oh no no no no NO." He reached up to boop her on the end of her nose, "I know your type. Insisting you are fine when you aren't. You are going to go march straight to your bedroom and strip down so I can give you a proper back rub while healing you up so you are in proper fighting trim." He nodded once while looking very serious, "And then I'll have repaid you and this whole story will wrap up with a happy ending."
Grease blatantly tilted her head to the side to stare at Jack's ass while muttering, "I know I could certainly use a full body rub with a happy ending." She bit her lower lip as she let out a long, regretful sigh.
Jack turned around, forcing Grease to use super speed and put on her best innocent expression while pretending she wasn't just checking out his behind. Jack smiled at her, "Okay!"
Grease looked around confused, "Okay what?"
Jack rolled a hand in the air towards her, "A full back rub with a happy ending." He then pointed at Sass, "I'll give you one right after Sass here."
Sass looked like she was about to leap across the room and strangle Grease. Grease on the other hand realized she might have gone too far and stepped back, while holding up both hands flat in a warding gesture, "Whoa whoa WHOA!" She started to laugh nervously. "Ah, no. No. I am perfectly fine no-"
Jack shook his head, "Please, I insist! In fact..." He turned to Sass, who instantly hid her scowl from him, "I read about the Rascals on the internet. You guys have really worked hard for many years. I think all of you deserve a full body rub that ends happily." Behind his back, Grease folded her hands together and started mouthing the word 'Sorry'. When he turned back to Grease, she put on a smile while it was Sass' turn to to put on a scary face and glare.
"I'll be happy to do it with the whole team!" That remark nearly caused Sass to spit out her own skull, "But Sass first. And we might need to do it over several days." He held up his hands and flexed his fingers, "My hands might get sore so I might need to rest between team members."
Grease abruptly burst out laughing and staggered back over to the couch to collapse on it. Jack just stared at her, "Uhh..." Internally, he was having a bit of a problem keeping a straight face himself. He knew he was laying it on thick, but on the other hand, this was fun as hell. He put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from laughing and hide his smirk. Finally getting himself back under control, he leaned in close to Sass and muttered, "Is she okay?"
Sass facepalmed so hard it echoed. She rubbed her face and looked out through her fingers at Jack, "Uh... Look. I need to explain something to you-"
Jack grabbed her hand, "Well, you can explain in your bedroom."
Trying hard to keep it together enough to speak, Grease pointed at the door Sass used to enter the room and managed to mutter something along the lines of, 'That way', before completely losing her shit and pounding the couch repeatedly with her fist at hyper-speed causing a rather odd WumpWumpWumpWumpWumpWump sound to fill the room.
Sass kept shaking her head as Jack pulled her along, "Angel, Wait. Look. Hold On!"
Jack shook his head, "Nope nope nope! I insist and I promise I will do everything in my power to get you feeling the best you have EVER felt!"
And as Jack and Sass left the room, the camera in the corner briefly whirred as someone switched from camera to camera, following them all the way to Sass's bedroom.
The phrase 'Like an oncoming freight train' did not do Sass justice.
In the distance the two could hear the sound of pounding boots as someone came barreling through stairwells and corridors to practically burst into the room. Sass was standing there in a green jogging suit. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail and she looked a little disheveled, like she was lounging about and didn't care about her appearance. She frantically looked around the room until she saw the two on the couch.
Jack raised a hand and waved, "Oh hi!" He pointed at Grease, "She was just telling me about the history of your world." He turned back to her while stretching his arms over his head, causing his skimpy wife beater to ride up and show off more of his abs, "I think you were just about to explain something called... sexual harassment?"
Grease got a deer in the headlights look and looked back and forth between Sass and Jack, "Uh... No. Well... Heh. You see... uh..." She swallowed nervously as Sass came stalking over. Grease was about to make up sort sort of excuse, but her mind was derailed by Jack and his antics.
Sass did not appear to be immune to Jack as she stumbled over her words, "Uhhh... Nice, uh... outfit." Sass seemed to be working hard to keep herself from blurting out what was on her mind.
Grease had no such inhibition, "Actually, I have been meaning to ask you about your clothes. Where did you get the... *ahem* outfit?"
Jack jumped up to show off in front of them, "Oh? You like it?" He held his arms out and spun around, causing the already skimpy silk shorts' hemline to lift up, "I went to a second hand store and asked the saleswoman, 'I am apparently supposed to wear a shirt at all times, but I have these wings. Do you have anything you would recommend?'" Jack shrugged, "So she had me try on a bunch of outfits. I mean, a LOT of outfits. It took like, an hour of trying on outfits." He frowned, "Apparently I kept putting them on wrong."
He brightened up, "But she was kind enough to come into the changing booth and help me out until we finally found this!" He turned around to show his back to them, while trying to look over his shoulders at his behind, "The problem was I can't see my back side easily." He looked up at them, "I didn't know how your shorts hang off you was so important on this world."
The two just stared at Jack in stunned silence. Grease mumbled, "Makes me wish I was working retail again," Sass smacked Grease in the back of the head so fast you might miss it.
Jack blinked in surprise, but Sass just pointed at the back of Grease's head, "Bug." Grease rubbed the back of her head and glared up at Sass. Sass glared back at her, "You had a bug on the back of your head."
Grease grumbled something under her breath. Jack snapped his fingers, "Oh! That reminds me! It looks like your arm is doing better! How does it feel?"
Sass held up her arm for inspection, "You helped a lot. Only needed a day in the regen ward to get back to fighting trim."
Grease snorted, "You needed another day, and you know it." She turned to Jack, "She's always worried about our medical expenses."
Jack quirked an eyebrow, "Oh? You need your arm healed more?"
Sass was about to speak when Grease cut her off, "Oh she's going to tell you she's fine when she's not." In a flash of light, Grease was standing next to Jack with her arm around his shoulders, "She's aching all over. You can tell by how she walks. She needs more than a flash heal."
Grease pulled Jack in closer and squeezed his shoulders, "Say! You know, what she could REALLY use is a full body massage." Grease rolled her eyes and held out her other hand dramatically, "But going to the regeneration ward ALONE is SO expensive!" She held the back of her hand against her forehead and turned away with a comically exaggerated expression of anguish, "Do you have any idea how much it costs to hire someone who can do a massage AND heal? There's just no money in the budget for it!" She hung her head in mock sorrow, "It is such a tragedy that Sass must suffer so much for the good of team. She is far too much of a martyr, in my opinion."
Sass's eyes grew wider and wider the longer Grease talked. However, before she could interject, Jack spoke up in a bubbly and enthusiastic manner, "Oh I Can Do That!" He smiled at Sass, "This is a much better idea than eating a cat!" He frowned, "Someone explained what a feline was and I got to see a picture. How could anyone eat such a cute little creature?" He shook his head, "I am trying very hard to live by your society's rules but frankly, that seems gross."
Sass stood there, her jaw moving but no words coming out. Grease jumped in, "Oh, that's just a mistranslation. We were confused by that when you left. That was a turn of phrase. Nobody eats cats."
Jack let out a sigh of relief, "Oh good! My stomach was all in knots coming here. I had no idea how I was going to bring it up."
Sass rubbed her forehead, "I'm getting a headache."
Jack looked concerned, "Oh. Well then. We should get right on that." He thought for a bit, "I need some place where you can lie down with your head over the edge so you can breathe."
Grease snapped her fingers, "How about her bedroom?" She gave Jack's shoulder another quick squeeze while pointing at Sass, "I bet her bed would be perfect to lie down for this."
Sass' eyes bugged out of her head, "No. No WAY!" She started to glare at Grease, "Look you-"
Jack stepped away from Grease to walk up to Sass, "Oh no no no no NO." He reached up to boop her on the end of her nose, "I know your type. Insisting you are fine when you aren't. You are going to go march straight to your bedroom and strip down so I can give you a proper back rub while healing you up so you are in proper fighting trim." He nodded once while looking very serious, "And then I'll have repaid you and this whole story will wrap up with a happy ending."
Grease blatantly tilted her head to the side to stare at Jack's ass while muttering, "I know I could certainly use a full body rub with a happy ending." She bit her lower lip as she let out a long, regretful sigh.
Jack turned around, forcing Grease to use super speed and put on her best innocent expression while pretending she wasn't just checking out his behind. Jack smiled at her, "Okay!"
Grease looked around confused, "Okay what?"
Jack rolled a hand in the air towards her, "A full back rub with a happy ending." He then pointed at Sass, "I'll give you one right after Sass here."
Sass looked like she was about to leap across the room and strangle Grease. Grease on the other hand realized she might have gone too far and stepped back, while holding up both hands flat in a warding gesture, "Whoa whoa WHOA!" She started to laugh nervously. "Ah, no. No. I am perfectly fine no-"
Jack shook his head, "Please, I insist! In fact..." He turned to Sass, who instantly hid her scowl from him, "I read about the Rascals on the internet. You guys have really worked hard for many years. I think all of you deserve a full body rub that ends happily." Behind his back, Grease folded her hands together and started mouthing the word 'Sorry'. When he turned back to Grease, she put on a smile while it was Sass' turn to to put on a scary face and glare.
"I'll be happy to do it with the whole team!" That remark nearly caused Sass to spit out her own skull, "But Sass first. And we might need to do it over several days." He held up his hands and flexed his fingers, "My hands might get sore so I might need to rest between team members."
Grease abruptly burst out laughing and staggered back over to the couch to collapse on it. Jack just stared at her, "Uhh..." Internally, he was having a bit of a problem keeping a straight face himself. He knew he was laying it on thick, but on the other hand, this was fun as hell. He put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from laughing and hide his smirk. Finally getting himself back under control, he leaned in close to Sass and muttered, "Is she okay?"
Sass facepalmed so hard it echoed. She rubbed her face and looked out through her fingers at Jack, "Uh... Look. I need to explain something to you-"
Jack grabbed her hand, "Well, you can explain in your bedroom."
Trying hard to keep it together enough to speak, Grease pointed at the door Sass used to enter the room and managed to mutter something along the lines of, 'That way', before completely losing her shit and pounding the couch repeatedly with her fist at hyper-speed causing a rather odd WumpWumpWumpWumpWumpWump sound to fill the room.
Sass kept shaking her head as Jack pulled her along, "Angel, Wait. Look. Hold On!"
Jack shook his head, "Nope nope nope! I insist and I promise I will do everything in my power to get you feeling the best you have EVER felt!"
And as Jack and Sass left the room, the camera in the corner briefly whirred as someone switched from camera to camera, following them all the way to Sass's bedroom.
