"I'm sorry. Run that by me again?"
Jack was in Dr. Brown's office. He had made excuses to the team that he wanted some time to mull things over. He needed a few days to finish setting things up at the collection agency as a money laundering front and didn't want to rush into joining the team before he finished streamlining Jack's life. Besides, It would only take three days to get the core four employees up to speed. Not that only four people worked there. At least, on paper, that is.
The collection agency had about another two dozen employees, but since it was a commission only job, most of those employees were hired goons for 'the family'. They didn't need to even show up, unless they needed an alibi for something. Normally they just got a 'bonus check' whenever Jack's boss wanted someone to get money through legit channels.
Actually collecting any of the debt was just icing on the cake, which was harder to collect then one might think. They were buying millions of dollars of debt that was all over seven years old. True, it only cost them a half penny on the dollar, but there was the small matter you couldn't collect on debt older than seven years due to its age. Most of it was slated to be written off for tax purposes, so frankly, nobody cared. How odd that an unusual number of debtors decided to pay their debt for no reason and anonymously as well. Funny that.
Dirty money go in, taxable income come out.
If the cops got too close, it didn't matter. The company was slated to be closed and file chapter eleven eighty nine days after the place opened up. Everyone then got one day off, as the 'collection agency' sold all its debt to another company set up across the hall with almost the exact same name, except it had a hyphen or something. Then the new collection agency hired the same four people who just lost their jobs.
Well, and Jack, of course. For his trouble he got a salary and had to periodically spend about two days a month making sure all the paperwork got handled properly. The funny thing was, technically, everything was completely legal, as long as Jack maintained his willful ignorance of certain facts. That was half the reason he needed to stay away from the job. In a world with people who can compel you to confess the truth, it was best to keep knowledge of such an operation compartmentalized so plausible deniability could be maintained.
And So The Circle Of Crooked Capitalism Continued
During that time, he called Dr. Brown to set up another appointment which he wanted to get out of the way before he joined the Rascals formerly. Well, before Adam joined formally, that is. Thus Jack and Adam explained the situation and wanted to know if there were going to be any legal problems. They did this by taking a full length mirror from Brown's bathroom, bringing it into her office, and angling it next to the couch Jack was sitting on.
Jack tilted his head to the side, "Is there a problem?" His reflection tilted its head the other way and quirked an eyebrow.
"Is there a problem???" Dr. Brown pointed at Jack, then at Jack's reflection. It was eerie as hell that they were moving independently of each other, "You trying to tell me that you actually have two different distinct personalities?"
Jack sat up a bit straighter and looked puzzled, "Yes. We've been over this." He pointed at the mirror.
The mirror nodded and a thought bubble appeared. o O (Yeah. Janus Syndrome. Remember?)
Dr. Brown looked like she was about to lose her mind, "But That's NOT how Janus Syndrome WORKS!!!" She rubbed her temples, "Janus syndrome is a psychological hang-up that only affects your POWERS. You don't get multiple personalities!" She closed her eyes, lifted her glasses, and rubbed her eyelids slowly as if she had eyestrain, "I mean, there have been reports of Janus Syndrome with schizophrenia, but that's rare." She opened her eyes and put her glasses back in place, "The only known case of Janus syndrome with multiple personalities was Senator Betty Banner back when she first turned into The Bulk, and THAT was more of a borderline personality with retrograde amnesia than true multiple personality disorder." She trailed off as she got lost in thought.
Jack looked at his reflection. His reflection looked back. Both looked confused. They both independently turned to look at their psychologist. Jack clicked his tongue, "So this doesn't happen very often?"
The reflection added. o O (You didn't explain Janus Syndrome very well.)
"This doesn't happen, PERIOD" She started tapping on her computer to check the GooHoo search engine. As she typed she muttered to herself, "This is going to complicate things."
Another thought bubble appeared. o O (Complicate what?)
Dr. Brown looked up and saw the bubble, "What? Oh. Uh... your... treatment?" She nodded a bit, "Yeah. Your treatment." She turned back to her monitor, "This is going to be-"
Jack held up his hands in a T-sign, "WHOA. Treatment?" He pointed at his reflection, "You aren't thinking of getting rid of him, are you?"
Jack's reflection frowned and crossed its arms. o O (Now Hold On One Cotton Picking Minute!)
Dr. Brown looked from one to the other, "Wait. You... are... comfortable like this?"
Jack suddenly turned into Angel form and looked quite indignant, "Darn Tootin'!"
The angelic form's reflection started moving out of sync as a new thought bubble appeared. o O (Hey. We've got an arrangement! I like this guy. He's useful and I don't see any reason to rock the boat.)
Dr. Brown just blinked furiously as she tried to shift her paradigm without a clutch. You could almost hear the grinding noises as she tried to ram her brain into gear, "Wait. This CANNOT be stable! You two will undoubtedly come into conflict and-"
She froze as her mind finally caught up to what she was seeing, "Hold it."
She pointed at Adam, "Your clothes changed."
Adam was now sitting there in his new Superhero outfit. He had a light, translucent, golden-coppery halo that seemed to barely flicker in existence over his head, even when he was at rest. His hair was a 'mess', but in a playful way. He had gone out and bought that breast plate that he saw earlier, except this one was a half plate that only covered his chest so he could still show off his abs. It was highly polished, with a copper finish, and a large gold heart in the center where the typical superhero symbol would go. Otherwise he had white, apple bottom shorts, white knee high socks with a golden wing design on either side, and white boots. All the same shade of white as his wings.
Adam showed off his socks, "You like the design? Jack suggested it."
His reflection added. o O (I noticed there isn't much on the market as far as socks are concerned. Should be easy to merchandise.)
Brown furrowed her eyebrows, "How???"
The reflection tilted its head. o O (Apparently they got websites for it. Takes about ten minutes and a credit card.)
"NO!" Brown closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I mean how do you change your clothes like that?"
Adam smiled cheerfully, "Oh! As soon as we came to an agreement and stopped fighting one another, our powers got stronger, like you said."
Jack reappeared, "Apparently my control over objects grants us the ability to have each form keep its own set of clothing and equipment. I guess we just sort of... absorb it?" He gave the mirror a sideways glance, "Not that Adam here wears much in the way of clothing, mind you."
His reflection stuck out its tongue. o O (If you got it, FLAUNT it!)
Jack turned back to the doctor, "Turns out he's a bit of a... free spirit, shall we say? And it also turns out..." He shrugged then smiled in a sheepish fashion, "I might like watching."
All color had drained from the doctor's face, "You... like to watch... what?"
Jack almost answered, but suddenly turned to look at the mirror instead, "Speaking of, I got a date with Myrtle this afternoon. I got no problem with you tagging along, but this is MY girlfriend. Don't get any ideas."
Jack shifted into Adam, "Uhhh... you know I slept with her already, right?"
He slammed back into Jack form, "uh, NO. We were still the same person back then, so you did NOT sleep with her." He stabbed a finger at the mirror, "And we are not going to TELL her, okay? I got a good feeling about her. I want to try and work this out."
His reflection gave him a flat look that screamed, 'Seriously?' as it made another thought bubble. o O (You just like the fact her boobs get bigger the more water she absorbs.)
Jack closed his eyes, straightened up, and lifted his nose at the mirror, "I will have you know I am a man of culture." He cracked open one eye to peer at his reflection, "Who also happens to love giant squishy boobs."
His reflection pouted. o O (Flat is justice!)
Dr. Brown's jaw hung open as she watched the strangest conversation in her life.
She abruptly shook her head, held out her hands and waved them rapidly to regain control of the conversation, "HOLD IT! I... am confused. You aren't here to fix this, but to... what? Exactly?"
He switched back to Adam, "Oh. I am planning on joining their team, and since you set up my ID as Jack's alternate Ego, We were wondering what sort of paperwork we need to fill out."
The reflection added. o O (Especially since we don't want to tell them about me. We've agreed to try and keep our lives as separate as possible.)
Dr. Brown smacked her forehead and slowly dragged her hand down her face as she leaned back in her office chair. She stared through her fingers for a bit before dropping her hand into her lap, "So the... two? of you? Hells Bells, I don't even know-" She clapped her hands together, took a deep breath, straightened up, then stared at Adam.
"Let me tackle the easy part first. Why the Rascals?" Dr. Brown gestured over her shoulder as a group photo of her and The Caretakers, "The Caretakers is a much better team with a much bigger budget. You could-"
Adam suddenly crossed his arms and pouted, "NO!"
His reflection rolled its eyes. o O (Don't bother. The Rascals aren't paying as much as we could make elsewhere, but Adam here is hell bent on sticking with them.)
Adam nodded and spoke cheerfully, "They're all good people when you get to know them, and I feel that they are all kinda damaged in one way or another." He smiled brightly, "I know If I just try hard enough, I can FIX THEM!"
His reflection did nothing but facepalm and slowly shake its head in a disappointed fashion.
Adam glanced at his reflection, "People can change."
The reflection returned an expressionless glare. o O (Nobody ever changes.)
Adam grinned, "We changed!"
The reflection rolled its eyes. o O (You are childhood trauma made manifest and the very definition of being unable to move past one's problems.)
Adam pouted at the mirror, "You're just being an old fuddy-duddy." Adam perked up, "You should try being more Upbeat!"
. o O (NO.)
Adam pointed at the mirror, "No is just an abbreviation for Next Opportunity!"
His reflection did nothing but give Adam an emotionless stare.
Dr. Brown held up her hands again, "Hold it. This... this is difficult to follow."
Jack reappeared, "Look. I've already been over this. Adam likes them. He wants to be with them and to be both emotional and medical support. He doesn't care about the money, he just wants to do good. You aren't gonna get through to him, and frankly, I don't care. If he wants to spend his time with that team, fine by me."
Dr. Brown blinked as she wondered about the hidden implication of Jack's words, "Wait... Time?"
Jack nodded, "Yeah. I can sleep while Adam is doing his thing, and he can sleep while I'm doing my thing. Well, it seems we can only sleep eight hours like normal, but still. I mean, when you think about it, I wasn't using my body eight hours a day anyways, so if we split it, that's twelve hours a day for him, and twelve for me. I lose out on four hours, but so does he, so it sounds fair."
Dr. Brown looked vaguely unhappy about this as she tried to follow his math in her head, "You don't say?"
Jack nodded, "Yeah. And we time bank it as well. Like how people will go in on owning a cabin near a ski slope for two weeks out of the year and sometimes they agree to switch dates?"
"You are... time sharing... your own body." The tone of her voice had reached the point where nothing seemed to phase her anymore.
Both Jack and his reflection nodded.
Dr. Brown pinched the bridge of her nose tightly and let out a long sigh before saying, "Fine. Legally, since you are not a danger to yourself or others, I can't do anything about..." She gestured in Jack's general direction, "This." She blinked a few times before continuing, "That said, as your psychologist, I have to state I recommend against your choice to refuse treatment."
Jack nodded, "I understand. I'll let you know if we run into any problems."
The reflection added a bubble. o O (If we do, we can go into couples therapy!)
Jack closed his eyes and slowly shook his head from side to side to indicate his opinion on the likelihood that such a outcome might occur.
Dr. Brown stood up, opened the door next to her desk, and walked into the storage closet attached to her office. She spoke loudly from the other room, "No matter what is going to happen, we will need to confirm that you actually are experiencing Janus Syndrome with multiple personalities." She came back with a black bag that she dropped on her desk, "We're going to need to get blood samples from both of you for testing."
Jack blinked, "Huh? Our blood will be different?"
She shook her head, "Monad testing. We need a blood sample for a deep monad scan. One sample from both of you. This should confirm you have Janus syndrome. I just want to dot my I's and cross my T's on this one."
Jack nodded and offered an arm. After Dr. Brown got a blood sample, Jack switched to Adam and offered up an arm as well. As she finished labeling the vials and packing them away, she looked up at Adam, "Let's hope there aren't any surprises."
The reflection frowned.
Jack sighed, "Oh Great."
The reflection smacked its forehead. o O (Way to jinx it, Doc!)
"I'm sorry. Run that by me again?"
Jack was in Dr. Brown's office. He had made excuses to the team that he wanted some time to mull things over. He needed a few days to finish setting things up at the collection agency as a money laundering front and didn't want to rush into joining the team before he finished streamlining Jack's life. Besides, It would only take three days to get the core four employees up to speed. Not that only four people worked there. At least, on paper, that is.
The collection agency had about another two dozen employees, but since it was a commission only job, most of those employees were hired goons for 'the family'. They didn't need to even show up, unless they needed an alibi for something. Normally they just got a 'bonus check' whenever Jack's boss wanted someone to get money through legit channels.
Actually collecting any of the debt was just icing on the cake, which was harder to collect then one might think. They were buying millions of dollars of debt that was all over seven years old. True, it only cost them a half penny on the dollar, but there was the small matter you couldn't collect on debt older than seven years due to its age. Most of it was slated to be written off for tax purposes, so frankly, nobody cared. How odd that an unusual number of debtors decided to pay their debt for no reason and anonymously as well. Funny that.
Dirty money go in, taxable income come out.
If the cops got too close, it didn't matter. The company was slated to be closed and file chapter eleven eighty nine days after the place opened up. Everyone then got one day off, as the 'collection agency' sold all its debt to another company set up across the hall with almost the exact same name, except it had a hyphen or something. Then the new collection agency hired the same four people who just lost their jobs.
Well, and Jack, of course. For his trouble he got a salary and had to periodically spend about two days a month making sure all the paperwork got handled properly. The funny thing was, technically, everything was completely legal, as long as Jack maintained his willful ignorance of certain facts. That was half the reason he needed to stay away from the job. In a world with people who can compel you to confess the truth, it was best to keep knowledge of such an operation compartmentalized so plausible deniability could be maintained.
And So The Circle Of Crooked Capitalism Continued
During that time, he called Dr. Brown to set up another appointment which he wanted to get out of the way before he joined the Rascals formerly. Well, before Adam joined formally, that is. Thus Jack and Adam explained the situation and wanted to know if there were going to be any legal problems. They did this by taking a full length mirror from Brown's bathroom, bringing it into her office, and angling it next to the couch Jack was sitting on.
Jack tilted his head to the side, "Is there a problem?" His reflection tilted its head the other way and quirked an eyebrow.
"Is there a problem???" Dr. Brown pointed at Jack, then at Jack's reflection. It was eerie as hell that they were moving independently of each other, "You trying to tell me that you actually have two different distinct personalities?"
Jack sat up a bit straighter and looked puzzled, "Yes. We've been over this." He pointed at the mirror.
The mirror nodded and a thought bubble appeared. o O (Yeah. Janus Syndrome. Remember?)
Dr. Brown looked like she was about to lose her mind, "But That's NOT how Janus Syndrome WORKS!!!" She rubbed her temples, "Janus syndrome is a psychological hang-up that only affects your POWERS. You don't get multiple personalities!" She closed her eyes, lifted her glasses, and rubbed her eyelids slowly as if she had eyestrain, "I mean, there have been reports of Janus Syndrome with schizophrenia, but that's rare." She opened her eyes and put her glasses back in place, "The only known case of Janus syndrome with multiple personalities was Senator Betty Banner back when she first turned into The Bulk, and THAT was more of a borderline personality with retrograde amnesia than true multiple personality disorder." She trailed off as she got lost in thought.
Jack looked at his reflection. His reflection looked back. Both looked confused. They both independently turned to look at their psychologist. Jack clicked his tongue, "So this doesn't happen very often?"
The reflection added. o O (You didn't explain Janus Syndrome very well.)
"This doesn't happen, PERIOD" She started tapping on her computer to check the GooHoo search engine. As she typed she muttered to herself, "This is going to complicate things."
Another thought bubble appeared. o O (Complicate what?)
Dr. Brown looked up and saw the bubble, "What? Oh. Uh... your... treatment?" She nodded a bit, "Yeah. Your treatment." She turned back to her monitor, "This is going to be-"
Jack held up his hands in a T-sign, "WHOA. Treatment?" He pointed at his reflection, "You aren't thinking of getting rid of him, are you?"
Jack's reflection frowned and crossed its arms. o O (Now Hold On One Cotton Picking Minute!)
Dr. Brown looked from one to the other, "Wait. You... are... comfortable like this?"
Jack suddenly turned into Angel form and looked quite indignant, "Darn Tootin'!"
The angelic form's reflection started moving out of sync as a new thought bubble appeared. o O (Hey. We've got an arrangement! I like this guy. He's useful and I don't see any reason to rock the boat.)
Dr. Brown just blinked furiously as she tried to shift her paradigm without a clutch. You could almost hear the grinding noises as she tried to ram her brain into gear, "Wait. This CANNOT be stable! You two will undoubtedly come into conflict and-"
She froze as her mind finally caught up to what she was seeing, "Hold it."
She pointed at Adam, "Your clothes changed."
Adam was now sitting there in his new Superhero outfit. He had a light, translucent, golden-coppery halo that seemed to barely flicker in existence over his head, even when he was at rest. His hair was a 'mess', but in a playful way. He had gone out and bought that breast plate that he saw earlier, except this one was a half plate that only covered his chest so he could still show off his abs. It was highly polished, with a copper finish, and a large gold heart in the center where the typical superhero symbol would go. Otherwise he had white, apple bottom shorts, white knee high socks with a golden wing design on either side, and white boots. All the same shade of white as his wings.
Adam showed off his socks, "You like the design? Jack suggested it."
His reflection added. o O (I noticed there isn't much on the market as far as socks are concerned. Should be easy to merchandise.)
Brown furrowed her eyebrows, "How???"
The reflection tilted its head. o O (Apparently they got websites for it. Takes about ten minutes and a credit card.)
"NO!" Brown closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I mean how do you change your clothes like that?"
Adam smiled cheerfully, "Oh! As soon as we came to an agreement and stopped fighting one another, our powers got stronger, like you said."
Jack reappeared, "Apparently my control over objects grants us the ability to have each form keep its own set of clothing and equipment. I guess we just sort of... absorb it?" He gave the mirror a sideways glance, "Not that Adam here wears much in the way of clothing, mind you."
His reflection stuck out its tongue. o O (If you got it, FLAUNT it!)
Jack turned back to the doctor, "Turns out he's a bit of a... free spirit, shall we say? And it also turns out..." He shrugged then smiled in a sheepish fashion, "I might like watching."
All color had drained from the doctor's face, "You... like to watch... what?"
Jack almost answered, but suddenly turned to look at the mirror instead, "Speaking of, I got a date with Myrtle this afternoon. I got no problem with you tagging along, but this is MY girlfriend. Don't get any ideas."
Jack shifted into Adam, "Uhhh... you know I slept with her already, right?"
He slammed back into Jack form, "uh, NO. We were still the same person back then, so you did NOT sleep with her." He stabbed a finger at the mirror, "And we are not going to TELL her, okay? I got a good feeling about her. I want to try and work this out."
His reflection gave him a flat look that screamed, 'Seriously?' as it made another thought bubble. o O (You just like the fact her boobs get bigger the more water she absorbs.)
Jack closed his eyes, straightened up, and lifted his nose at the mirror, "I will have you know I am a man of culture." He cracked open one eye to peer at his reflection, "Who also happens to love giant squishy boobs."
His reflection pouted. o O (Flat is justice!)
Dr. Brown's jaw hung open as she watched the strangest conversation in her life.
She abruptly shook her head, held out her hands and waved them rapidly to regain control of the conversation, "HOLD IT! I... am confused. You aren't here to fix this, but to... what? Exactly?"
He switched back to Adam, "Oh. I am planning on joining their team, and since you set up my ID as Jack's alternate Ego, We were wondering what sort of paperwork we need to fill out."
The reflection added. o O (Especially since we don't want to tell them about me. We've agreed to try and keep our lives as separate as possible.)
Dr. Brown smacked her forehead and slowly dragged her hand down her face as she leaned back in her office chair. She stared through her fingers for a bit before dropping her hand into her lap, "So the... two? of you? Hells Bells, I don't even know-" She clapped her hands together, took a deep breath, straightened up, then stared at Adam.
"Let me tackle the easy part first. Why the Rascals?" Dr. Brown gestured over her shoulder as a group photo of her and The Caretakers, "The Caretakers is a much better team with a much bigger budget. You could-"
Adam suddenly crossed his arms and pouted, "NO!"
His reflection rolled its eyes. o O (Don't bother. The Rascals aren't paying as much as we could make elsewhere, but Adam here is hell bent on sticking with them.)
Adam nodded and spoke cheerfully, "They're all good people when you get to know them, and I feel that they are all kinda damaged in one way or another." He smiled brightly, "I know If I just try hard enough, I can FIX THEM!"
His reflection did nothing but facepalm and slowly shake its head in a disappointed fashion.
Adam glanced at his reflection, "People can change."
The reflection returned an expressionless glare. o O (Nobody ever changes.)
Adam grinned, "We changed!"
The reflection rolled its eyes. o O (You are childhood trauma made manifest and the very definition of being unable to move past one's problems.)
Adam pouted at the mirror, "You're just being an old fuddy-duddy." Adam perked up, "You should try being more Upbeat!"
. o O (NO.)
Adam pointed at the mirror, "No is just an abbreviation for Next Opportunity!"
His reflection did nothing but give Adam an emotionless stare.
Dr. Brown held up her hands again, "Hold it. This... this is difficult to follow."
Jack reappeared, "Look. I've already been over this. Adam likes them. He wants to be with them and to be both emotional and medical support. He doesn't care about the money, he just wants to do good. You aren't gonna get through to him, and frankly, I don't care. If he wants to spend his time with that team, fine by me."
Dr. Brown blinked as she wondered about the hidden implication of Jack's words, "Wait... Time?"
Jack nodded, "Yeah. I can sleep while Adam is doing his thing, and he can sleep while I'm doing my thing. Well, it seems we can only sleep eight hours like normal, but still. I mean, when you think about it, I wasn't using my body eight hours a day anyways, so if we split it, that's twelve hours a day for him, and twelve for me. I lose out on four hours, but so does he, so it sounds fair."
Dr. Brown looked vaguely unhappy about this as she tried to follow his math in her head, "You don't say?"
Jack nodded, "Yeah. And we time bank it as well. Like how people will go in on owning a cabin near a ski slope for two weeks out of the year and sometimes they agree to switch dates?"
"You are... time sharing... your own body." The tone of her voice had reached the point where nothing seemed to phase her anymore.
Both Jack and his reflection nodded.
Dr. Brown pinched the bridge of her nose tightly and let out a long sigh before saying, "Fine. Legally, since you are not a danger to yourself or others, I can't do anything about..." She gestured in Jack's general direction, "This." She blinked a few times before continuing, "That said, as your psychologist, I have to state I recommend against your choice to refuse treatment."
Jack nodded, "I understand. I'll let you know if we run into any problems."
The reflection added a bubble. o O (If we do, we can go into couples therapy!)
Jack closed his eyes and slowly shook his head from side to side to indicate his opinion on the likelihood that such a outcome might occur.
Dr. Brown stood up, opened the door next to her desk, and walked into the storage closet attached to her office. She spoke loudly from the other room, "No matter what is going to happen, we will need to confirm that you actually are experiencing Janus Syndrome with multiple personalities." She came back with a black bag that she dropped on her desk, "We're going to need to get blood samples from both of you for testing."
Jack blinked, "Huh? Our blood will be different?"
She shook her head, "Monad testing. We need a blood sample for a deep monad scan. One sample from both of you. This should confirm you have Janus syndrome. I just want to dot my I's and cross my T's on this one."
Jack nodded and offered an arm. After Dr. Brown got a blood sample, Jack switched to Adam and offered up an arm as well. As she finished labeling the vials and packing them away, she looked up at Adam, "Let's hope there aren't any surprises."
The reflection frowned.
Jack sighed, "Oh Great."
The reflection smacked its forehead. o O (Way to jinx it, Doc!)
