We run into two people I know on the return trip to the hanger, and several more I don’t. Everyone’s prepping to shut down the ship. Which doesn’t mean they don’t have time to stop dead in the middle of the hallway, stare as I walk past, and generally make me feel like crawling out of my skin and finding a hole in the ground to bury myself in.
None of them speak to me. I can’t decide if they’re frightened of me, wary of Lee’s response, or simply none of them are as hostile as Kel. Either way, I’m relieved. I don’t want to deal with that crap. And better yet, Zane looks like he’s going to murder each and every person who makes eye-contact with me for more than a few seconds.
What’s gotten in to him?
There’s a physical relief to seeing my ship again, safe and sound in the hangar. Lee leaves us at the door and starts yelling at one of his gawking crew members in a language I’ve never picked up. Another urge to snicker at the whole situation chokes up my throat. I need to get a grip.
Without saying anything, all the humans head for my ship. Guess we’re crowding in. I set Bat in his pack on the edge of the airlock, check the empty hangar for anyone listening, and elbow Zane lightly in the arm.
“Hey, mechanic, help me with something real quick.”
Zane’s expression clears a bit, and I close the airlock so the others won’t listen in, wandering around under the wing of the ship where no one watching from the door of the hangar can see us.
Zane looks up at the underside of the wing, trying to find whatever issue I’m talking about. And people call me dense. “What’s the problem?”
“Nothing’s wrong with the ship, I’m just trying to figure out why the most obnoxiously happy-go-lucky person I know suddenly looks like he wants to go on a rampage.”
His mouth pulls back down, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye while he pokes at a rusted section of the ship’s paneling. “I thought you don’t like talking about stuff like this.”
Got me there. “Hate it. But I’m genuinely a little alarmed.”
Silence stretches.
“Are you really not gonna tell me? After all the heart-to-hearts I didn’t agree to?”
He snorts. “It’s nothing really. I’d just like to get out of here.”
I fold my arms. He stares at me. I stare back. Which doesn’t work very well on him, but it’s worth a shot. If I don’t blink long enough, maybe he’ll eventually get uncomfortable…
“You’re not going to like it,” he says finally.
“I don’t like most of the things that have happened this month. Surprise me.”
He folds his arms as well. Looks at the ship. Looks around the hangar. Glares at me a little.
“Why didn’t you come home after you left Amerov?”
Huh? That sentence feels like a lot to unpack.
“You know why. I don’t remember anything and there was no ‘home’ to go back to, just an orphanage.”
“But you weren’t even curious about that?”
“Not particularly.”
He looks at me as if I’ve grown another limb. Unease creeps into my chest. He’s been tagging along with me for weeks and suddenly is annoyed I never returned to Hytha? Surely he’s considered this before. Something else is definitely up.
Repressing a sigh, I say, “Zane, I’m bad at this, so can you possibly just blatantly tell me what’s going on?”
He glares at me strongly enough I think about taking a step back. Then he rubs his face, and I’m certain there’s pain in his expression.
“If you had come back to snoop around Hytha, you probably would’ve figured out that orphanage wasn’t where you grew up, then you might’ve figured out a way to make your way back to us. Instead, you ended up here.”
That’s even more to unpack. I feel like rubbing my temples too. “I had no reason to doubt the orphanage story, and didn’t particularly want to go digging up memories that are maybe better I forget. Are you seriously pissed that because when I was a child I didn’t want it rubbed in my face that no one wanted me?”
The sentence chokes a bit coming out, but it isn’t anything I haven’t said this past month, either to Lalia or to Zane. He knows it. And I’m trying to figure out what the entire problem is. Honesty is bound to help.
Zane looks away. “No. I’m not pissed at that.”
“Okay then?”
“Right after you ran away from Amerov you didn’t end up back with us, you ended up with all these people who treat you like crap, and you’re apparently fine with it.”
Oh. How am I supposed to respond to that?
“I’m not fine with it. I want to leave more than you do, I can guarantee.”
He grimaces but doesn’t answer. I add, “And Lee was always pretty good to me, he deserves basic decency from me. The others, I could care less. Don’t mistake my being polite to Lee for not wanting to get the hell out of here.”
“Did everyone treat you like this when you were here?”
Complicated question. “Not…really. For the most part, they just ignored me. There was…a job that went south. I sorta ended up being the one they blamed. Which I suppose I can’t blame them for, actually, it was my screw up.”
But that’s when I got out of here. I could tell the passive annoyance they all had toward me was turning into downright hostility. I never even talked to Lee about it. I just left.
“Weren’t you like fifteen?”
“Something like that.”
“And they’re all older than you, and decided to blame their operation failure on a kid?”
I shrug, twitchy. “To be fair, it was pretty much my fault.”
Zane grumbles something unintelligible.
“What?”
“It was your fault, or you’ve just decided it was because that’s easier than arguing with all the humans.”
I just stare at him. Unbelievable. Strange, strange humans. “I know you’ll take my side in anything just about now, but just because you believe I’m your brother doesn’t mean I can never screw something up. You don’t even know what happened.”
“Then tell me.”
“What?”
“Tell me what happened.”
“I’d really rather not.”
“Why?”
Because I like you having a high opinion of me. Crap. What is wrong with me?
“Some things are just better left where they belong.”
“Because you don’t trust me.”
Well, that feels like an unfair accusation. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t unearthed this conversation. “I trust you more than other humans.”
Rolling his eyes, he starts to walk past me. “Gee, thanks.”
I don’t like this at all. “I’m trusting you less when you’re acting this weird.”
He stops. Sighs. Kicks offhandedly at my ship’s landing gear. “I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed at everything else.”
Makes more sense than I’d like to admit. How many times have I thought something similar? Angry at the entire galaxy and the random events that screwed me over.
“Well, I’m trying to look on the bright side. In a few hours, we’ll be out of here, and hopefully none of us ever have to think about this again.”
“Wow, you looking at the bright side?” he says blandly.
“Apparently, we’ve switched places for the day.”
He cracks a smile, but it holds none of his usual genuine cheer. I guess I can’t fault him for the attitude—not with what a joy I’ve been the last few weeks. But it’s strange seeing him so angry, particularly at something I feel no rage toward. This is the way it is. This is how people treat me. And in this case, it was at least partially earned. Lee has been nicer than I expected, and Zane still looks like he want to fight every passing human.
Zane isn’t stating at me, just the ground, but I’m starting get twitchier anyway. I’m not good with having these conversations, and a few weeks ago I would’ve downright ignored his crappy attitude. These humans are definitely having an effect on me. Not sure if it’s good or bad.
The door across the hangar cracks open, and I wish I’d taken the awkward silence to head back to the ship. Zane’s eyes narrow and Kel spots us under the wing of the ship and strides purposely forward with a gait a little more overly-confident than I remember her being.
This is going to be a hell of an interaction, I can already tell.
“Scheming in here?” she asks.
I stare at her, seriously considering the possibility I may have to restrain Zane from punching her straight in the face. And whether or not I want to restrain him. I’d like to believe he’s not stupid enough to compromise the delicate situation we’re in, but I don’t even think Yvonne looked this murderous when I refused to help her get Anya out of Amerov.
The best course of action would be to not engage. Just walk back into my ship, close the airlock, and wait the rest of this out. Which I’m rather proud of myself for considering seriously.
Apparently, Yvonne has no such ideas. Because there’s the hiss of my ship’s airlock, the click of feet hitting the hangar floor, and she appears around the corner of the ship with an expression that doesn’t bode well.
We run into two people I know on the return trip to the hanger, and several more I don’t. Everyone’s prepping to shut down the ship. Which doesn’t mean they don’t have time to stop dead in the middle of the hallway, stare as I walk past, and generally make me feel like crawling out of my skin and finding a hole in the ground to bury myself in.
None of them speak to me. I can’t decide if they’re frightened of me, wary of Lee’s response, or simply none of them are as hostile as Kel. Either way, I’m relieved. I don’t want to deal with that crap. And better yet, Zane looks like he’s going to murder each and every person who makes eye-contact with me for more than a few seconds.
What’s gotten in to him?
There’s a physical relief to seeing my ship again, safe and sound in the hangar. Lee leaves us at the door and starts yelling at one of his gawking crew members in a language I’ve never picked up. Another urge to snicker at the whole situation chokes up my throat. I need to get a grip.
Without saying anything, all the humans head for my ship. Guess we’re crowding in. I set Bat in his pack on the edge of the airlock, check the empty hangar for anyone listening, and elbow Zane lightly in the arm.
“Hey, mechanic, help me with something real quick.”
Zane’s expression clears a bit, and I close the airlock so the others won’t listen in, wandering around under the wing of the ship where no one watching from the door of the hangar can see us.
Zane looks up at the underside of the wing, trying to find whatever issue I’m talking about. And people call me dense. “What’s the problem?”
“Nothing’s wrong with the ship, I’m just trying to figure out why the most obnoxiously happy-go-lucky person I know suddenly looks like he wants to go on a rampage.”
His mouth pulls back down, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye while he pokes at a rusted section of the ship’s paneling. “I thought you don’t like talking about stuff like this.”
Got me there. “Hate it. But I’m genuinely a little alarmed.”
Silence stretches.
“Are you really not gonna tell me? After all the heart-to-hearts I didn’t agree to?”
He snorts. “It’s nothing really. I’d just like to get out of here.”
I fold my arms. He stares at me. I stare back. Which doesn’t work very well on him, but it’s worth a shot. If I don’t blink long enough, maybe he’ll eventually get uncomfortable…
“You’re not going to like it,” he says finally.
“I don’t like most of the things that have happened this month. Surprise me.”
He folds his arms as well. Looks at the ship. Looks around the hangar. Glares at me a little.
“Why didn’t you come home after you left Amerov?”
Huh? That sentence feels like a lot to unpack.
“You know why. I don’t remember anything and there was no ‘home’ to go back to, just an orphanage.”
“But you weren’t even curious about that?”
“Not particularly.”
He looks at me as if I’ve grown another limb. Unease creeps into my chest. He’s been tagging along with me for weeks and suddenly is annoyed I never returned to Hytha? Surely he’s considered this before. Something else is definitely up.
Repressing a sigh, I say, “Zane, I’m bad at this, so can you possibly just blatantly tell me what’s going on?”
He glares at me strongly enough I think about taking a step back. Then he rubs his face, and I’m certain there’s pain in his expression.
“If you had come back to snoop around Hytha, you probably would’ve figured out that orphanage wasn’t where you grew up, then you might’ve figured out a way to make your way back to us. Instead, you ended up here.”
That’s even more to unpack. I feel like rubbing my temples too. “I had no reason to doubt the orphanage story, and didn’t particularly want to go digging up memories that are maybe better I forget. Are you seriously pissed that because when I was a child I didn’t want it rubbed in my face that no one wanted me?”
The sentence chokes a bit coming out, but it isn’t anything I haven’t said this past month, either to Lalia or to Zane. He knows it. And I’m trying to figure out what the entire problem is. Honesty is bound to help.
Zane looks away. “No. I’m not pissed at that.”
“Okay then?”
“Right after you ran away from Amerov you didn’t end up back with us, you ended up with all these people who treat you like crap, and you’re apparently fine with it.”
Oh. How am I supposed to respond to that?
“I’m not fine with it. I want to leave more than you do, I can guarantee.”
He grimaces but doesn’t answer. I add, “And Lee was always pretty good to me, he deserves basic decency from me. The others, I could care less. Don’t mistake my being polite to Lee for not wanting to get the hell out of here.”
“Did everyone treat you like this when you were here?”
Complicated question. “Not…really. For the most part, they just ignored me. There was…a job that went south. I sorta ended up being the one they blamed. Which I suppose I can’t blame them for, actually, it was my screw up.”
But that’s when I got out of here. I could tell the passive annoyance they all had toward me was turning into downright hostility. I never even talked to Lee about it. I just left.
“Weren’t you like fifteen?”
“Something like that.”
“And they’re all older than you, and decided to blame their operation failure on a kid?”
I shrug, twitchy. “To be fair, it was pretty much my fault.”
Zane grumbles something unintelligible.
“What?”
“It was your fault, or you’ve just decided it was because that’s easier than arguing with all the humans.”
I just stare at him. Unbelievable. Strange, strange humans. “I know you’ll take my side in anything just about now, but just because you believe I’m your brother doesn’t mean I can never screw something up. You don’t even know what happened.”
“Then tell me.”
“What?”
“Tell me what happened.”
“I’d really rather not.”
“Why?”
Because I like you having a high opinion of me. Crap. What is wrong with me?
“Some things are just better left where they belong.”
“Because you don’t trust me.”
Well, that feels like an unfair accusation. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t unearthed this conversation. “I trust you more than other humans.”
Rolling his eyes, he starts to walk past me. “Gee, thanks.”
I don’t like this at all. “I’m trusting you less when you’re acting this weird.”
He stops. Sighs. Kicks offhandedly at my ship’s landing gear. “I’m not pissed at you. I’m pissed at everything else.”
Makes more sense than I’d like to admit. How many times have I thought something similar? Angry at the entire galaxy and the random events that screwed me over.
“Well, I’m trying to look on the bright side. In a few hours, we’ll be out of here, and hopefully none of us ever have to think about this again.”
“Wow, you looking at the bright side?” he says blandly.
“Apparently, we’ve switched places for the day.”
He cracks a smile, but it holds none of his usual genuine cheer. I guess I can’t fault him for the attitude—not with what a joy I’ve been the last few weeks. But it’s strange seeing him so angry, particularly at something I feel no rage toward. This is the way it is. This is how people treat me. And in this case, it was at least partially earned. Lee has been nicer than I expected, and Zane still looks like he want to fight every passing human.
Zane isn’t stating at me, just the ground, but I’m starting get twitchier anyway. I’m not good with having these conversations, and a few weeks ago I would’ve downright ignored his crappy attitude. These humans are definitely having an effect on me. Not sure if it’s good or bad.
The door across the hangar cracks open, and I wish I’d taken the awkward silence to head back to the ship. Zane’s eyes narrow and Kel spots us under the wing of the ship and strides purposely forward with a gait a little more overly-confident than I remember her being.
This is going to be a hell of an interaction, I can already tell.
“Scheming in here?” she asks.
I stare at her, seriously considering the possibility I may have to restrain Zane from punching her straight in the face. And whether or not I want to restrain him. I’d like to believe he’s not stupid enough to compromise the delicate situation we’re in, but I don’t even think Yvonne looked this murderous when I refused to help her get Anya out of Amerov.
The best course of action would be to not engage. Just walk back into my ship, close the airlock, and wait the rest of this out. Which I’m rather proud of myself for considering seriously.
Apparently, Yvonne has no such ideas. Because there’s the hiss of my ship’s airlock, the click of feet hitting the hangar floor, and she appears around the corner of the ship with an expression that doesn’t bode well.
