Chapter 39: Explanations
20th of December 1994, Hogwarts
Hogwarts looks at me a bit in fear and a bit in gratefulness. Then she shakes her head and frowns, “How are you still alive, and how come you didn’t contact me before? You knew I was alive, even back then you treated me like a person, so why did you never come to see me?”
I gulp, this was gonna take a while and I hope she accepts my explanation.
“For you to understand, who I am, you must keep an open mind about who I am?” I start.
“I don’t understand? You’re my mother, Helga Hufflepuff. You founded Hogwarts, you created me, gave me life and purpose.” She said, confused.
“I am Helga Hufflepuff but I am also so much more. I’m far older than I look, dear. Even when I created you, I was older than most civilizations on the planet.”
“But how have you lived so long? The average magical human lives for at most two centuries.”
“There are many ways to increase your lifespan, but I didn’t die because I was part of a time paradox. I didn’t die because I couldn’t die.”
“I don’t understand. Who are you, really?”
“I was born Jasmine Potter in 1980. About a decade later, I was accidentally sent back in time. Thousands of years into the past. It was then that Jasmine Potter died and the Morrigan of Atlantis was born.”
I neglected to say to her that I was the one that sent my younger self to the past. She’s already having issues with time travel; I couldn’t let her handle time continuity by herself. I guess no one researched time magic when they were in Hogwarts. Chronomancy is a lost art. Though the department of mysteries is still researching time sand which is used when creating time turners. It was just some stone that was near a temporal anomaly for a few thousand years. Some of the energy from the anomaly left an imprint on the stone, which is later ground up into time sand. It was relatively harmless to be honest, if you ignore the pressure on the mind and magic of the user, there is no chance of a paradox existing because time sand is not enough to override fate. The universe is powerful enough to manipulate the probabilities to avoid that.
“But why didn’t you die in the past, mother?”
“I didn’t die for the simple reason that I couldn’t die. I was stuck in a loop, and I had to take the long way to come back to this time. The loop must be closed, if it wasn’t then the universe itself would unravel, killing ever living being inside. To prevent this from happening, the universe prevented me from dying and restricted some of my actions.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“Alright, let’s look at this this way. In 1980, you existed, Helga Hufflepuff existed. Now imagine if I didn’t travel back in time, or that I traveled back and died after a normal human life. Then Helga Hufflepuff never would have existed and you wouldn’t have existed. But before I traveled back in time, I knew that you and Helga existed and that’s what we call a paradox, and the universe doesn’t like those. I couldn’t die because I am unknowingly part of events. The world changes with every action we take. If I were to disappear, the world would be different than if I stayed here. So, I had to keep living until the loop is closed.”
“But doesn’t that mean that you’re going to die now?”
I chuckle and wandlessly conjure a knife in my hand and made a cut across my palm exposing the silver blood under my skin.
“After living for so long, I’m not technically human anymore. I may not be fully immortal anymore, but I will never grow old and die of old age. Someone would have to kill me for me to die and trust me, there is very little chance of that happening; I am extremely resilient. But don’t worry, even if I lost my immortality, I couldn’t be happier. I am not constrained by the events of the past anymore. The chains of fate have no hold on me. Never underestimate how precious free will is.”
“So, tell me about yourself. Do I know you from any history books?” my daughter asked eagerly.
I laugh at her childishness, I guess castles take some time to mature. “Of course, dear. Well, like I told you I the Morrigan of Atlantis. That is my true name everything else is just personas. My most known persona I ever took wasn’t actually Helga Hufflepuff, it was Morgan Le Fey.”
“THE Morgan Le Fey. Merlin’s enemy? The evil witch that destroyed Camelot?”
“Ha, not really. For some reason the history books confuse me and Morgause. Myrddin was actually my former apprentice. And while I hated Myrddin for what he’s done and what he became, I didn’t intervene before he attacked me first and tried to kill your sister and even then, I just fought Myrddin no one else.”
“Wait a minute, I have a sister?”
“Yeah, she inside the caste now. She’s a ghost called Mordred.”
“Really, that’s fascinating. I’ll have to get to know her better. So, who else did you live as?”
“Well, there was Helga Hufflepuff, as you know. I was called Medusa back in ancient Greece, Wadjet when I lived in Egypt a little before coming to Greece. Oh yeah, Isolt Sayre back in the 1600s when I founded Ilvemorny.”
She looked at me speechless. I think I might have broken her or something. Suddenly, she changed the topic. Undoubtedly, she needed time to process what I had just shared with her.
“You lived for so long, met so many people. Why did you leave me? Was I not good enough?”
Her voice was small and I felt horrible that I made her feel this way. I needed to rectify this.
“No, honey. It’s just that I rarely develop relationships as meaningful as the ones I had with the other founders. And by rare, I mean once every half a millennium rare. What people don’t understand about living so long is the fact that other people don’t live as long. They wither and they die and they leave. And it hurts so much. With everything going to shit as quickly as it did. I had to get away to deal with the grief. Still, even if I hadn’t left, I would have later when fate gives me another role in history.
But I didn’t do it just for me but also for you. You needed to learn, to observe, to live. I might have lit the spark but it was the students that gave you life. You needed to grow up and you couldn’t do it with your mother always nearby. You needed to make mistakes and learn from them, that’s what you do when you’re alive. I did always check up on you when I heard news about Hogwarts. Every battle, every takeover, betrayal, I made sure you were well. I wasn’t strong enough then to talk to you, I hadn’t delt with my grief yet. I hadn’t truly accepted who I am, what I am. And for that I am very very sorry.”
With a wave of my hand, the glowing runes that represented Dumbledore’s hold on the castle wards slowly changed.
“As an apology, I gave you back complete control over the usurper’s wards. I pretty much switched places. He can only control them if you let them. You can even activate some of the old wards if you change the amount of magic absorbed by Dumbledore’s wards. And don’t worry about the old man, I have plans for him. Once he’s gone, we’ll remove the ward stones and restore the original wards.”
She smiled at me and we spent the entire night together, reminiscing and making up for lost time. It was one of the best nights I had for a long time.
15th of January 1995, Hogwarts
Today was the end of the winter holidays and the students came back to the castle. Naturally, I chose that day to return to the castle as well. Rose was coming back and I missed mt baby sister. I greet her as I see her in the great hall and, as I expect it, I find myself called to the headmaster’s office a few minutes later. Of course, I didn’t go there before I finished my lunch; no need to expose myself to bullshit on an empty stomach.
Around an hour after my convocation, I walk up to the headmaster’s office, the gargoyle moves out of the way without me even speaking to it and I knock on the door. Of course, the three people I want to talk to the least are there. James and Lily Potter are standing up while Albus Dumbledore is sitting at his desk.
“You summoned me?” I asked monotony.
“Ah yes, my girl, you had disappeared from the castle. We were worried.”
I stay silent and say nothing. It’s a common interrogation tactic. By staying silent, I control the conversation. He should try to get me to talk.
After a minute of silence, he gave up on me answering him and said, “I was asked to inform you about the scores you got in the first task. You have received in total 45 points, with each judge giving you a perfect mark apart from Headmaster Karkaroff that gave you five points out of ten.”
Again, I say nothing. It’s not like I care about points for some stupid tournament. James and Lily still haven’t said a word. Still in Dumbledore’s pocket, I see.
He continues, “I have to say, Ms. Potter, that your performance during the first task was very impressive but I’m afraid I have never seen such magic before. Now, I consider myself quite knowledgeable in magic and it’s quite rare for me to be this stumped when I don’t understand something. Where did you learn such magic?”
“My name is Evanshade and I didn’t,” I answer him.
“I don’t quite get that. How could you not have learnt it?”
“I didn’t learn it, I created it.”
Every adult in the room was rendered speechless at my statement. They could not believe that a fourteen year old girl could invent something like that. They’re right, of course, but they don’t need to know that. From what I could glean from Dumbledore’s mind, he wants to recruit me to work as his apprentice / underling before the tournament is over.
James and Lily are just proud of me. I really feel bad for them but they would always consider themselves my parents and I just don’t need parents anymore and even then, they’re very bad ones. They projected their grief onto Nathan and Rose, something that caused the children a lot of issues as they grew up. James and Lily Potter didn’t truly survive Voldemort’s attack. I remember them from before the attack and they are now a shell of their previous selves.
“If you are indeed the creator of such a wonderful technique, can you explain to us the principals involved.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” James interrupted for the first time.
“As the creator of this type of magic, I have added to the grimoire as branch of the Sayre family magic. I’m afraid that asking me about it is quite the taboo in society. So, it is quite understandable that I choose not to share it with you.” I answer.
I can fell Dumbledore gritting his teeth in anger, but he suddenly changed his expression back into the jovial old man. “Now, Ms. Potter, we need to speak about your absence during the Yule ball.”
I stay silent once more. I can feel he’s getting frustrated, now. This is fun.
“Care to explain yourself?”
“My name is Evanshade, I just chose not to come.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Evanshade, Champions are required to attend the Yule ball.”
“No, they’re not. When the goblet was first used, the tournament didn’t have a Yule ball and since you have admitted that the goblet contract hasn’t changed ever since the first tournament, it was not required for me to attend. The contract is magically enforced and I can assure you, my magic is fine.”
Of course, we both know that I wasn’t really part of the tournament since I wasn’t magically bound to compete. Dumbledore used the summoning function of the Goblet not the contract binding one. He had to agree with me or he knew I would figure out I wasn’t magically bound to stay in Hogwarts.
“Alright, I guess you caught me. It’s just a custom in the tournament and I have always valued traditions. Now, onto the most pressing matter. How were you able to enter and leave the castle without me noticing? The wards are still powered, I checked. There was no breach. This is a security concern. If you could enter the castle, then other people could infiltrate and attack my students.”
Yeah, like the death eater you hired as a professor, I thought sarcastically. I inwardly smile at the answer I just thought of.
“I asked the Nargles.”
Dumbledore looks dumbstruck at my answer. He definitely didn’t expect that. He seemed to understand what the Nargles are. Who would have thought? Dumbledore is a Quibbler fan.
“If that’s our conversation done, professor, I would like to take my leave.” The man didn’t even answer me and I got up and left the office. Lily looked like she wanted to say something but refrained from doing so. I guess they planned to talk to me about something. It was fun keeping someone who’s used to be in control like Dumbledore on his toes. I guess this round goes to me.
I spent the next month spending as much time as possible with Nathan and Rose. Well, mostly Rose because of her lessons and I like her more. She has a lot less negativity. Before I noticed it was time for the second task. I just hope that they won’t needlessly endanger the hostages. Damn, time flies when you’re as old as me.
Chapter 39: Explanations
20th of December 1994, Hogwarts
Hogwarts looks at me a bit in fear and a bit in gratefulness. Then she shakes her head and frowns, “How are you still alive, and how come you didn’t contact me before? You knew I was alive, even back then you treated me like a person, so why did you never come to see me?”
I gulp, this was gonna take a while and I hope she accepts my explanation.
“For you to understand, who I am, you must keep an open mind about who I am?” I start.
“I don’t understand? You’re my mother, Helga Hufflepuff. You founded Hogwarts, you created me, gave me life and purpose.” She said, confused.
“I am Helga Hufflepuff but I am also so much more. I’m far older than I look, dear. Even when I created you, I was older than most civilizations on the planet.”
“But how have you lived so long? The average magical human lives for at most two centuries.”
“There are many ways to increase your lifespan, but I didn’t die because I was part of a time paradox. I didn’t die because I couldn’t die.”
“I don’t understand. Who are you, really?”
“I was born Jasmine Potter in 1980. About a decade later, I was accidentally sent back in time. Thousands of years into the past. It was then that Jasmine Potter died and the Morrigan of Atlantis was born.”
I neglected to say to her that I was the one that sent my younger self to the past. She’s already having issues with time travel; I couldn’t let her handle time continuity by herself. I guess no one researched time magic when they were in Hogwarts. Chronomancy is a lost art. Though the department of mysteries is still researching time sand which is used when creating time turners. It was just some stone that was near a temporal anomaly for a few thousand years. Some of the energy from the anomaly left an imprint on the stone, which is later ground up into time sand. It was relatively harmless to be honest, if you ignore the pressure on the mind and magic of the user, there is no chance of a paradox existing because time sand is not enough to override fate. The universe is powerful enough to manipulate the probabilities to avoid that.
“But why didn’t you die in the past, mother?”
“I didn’t die for the simple reason that I couldn’t die. I was stuck in a loop, and I had to take the long way to come back to this time. The loop must be closed, if it wasn’t then the universe itself would unravel, killing ever living being inside. To prevent this from happening, the universe prevented me from dying and restricted some of my actions.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“Alright, let’s look at this this way. In 1980, you existed, Helga Hufflepuff existed. Now imagine if I didn’t travel back in time, or that I traveled back and died after a normal human life. Then Helga Hufflepuff never would have existed and you wouldn’t have existed. But before I traveled back in time, I knew that you and Helga existed and that’s what we call a paradox, and the universe doesn’t like those. I couldn’t die because I am unknowingly part of events. The world changes with every action we take. If I were to disappear, the world would be different than if I stayed here. So, I had to keep living until the loop is closed.”
“But doesn’t that mean that you’re going to die now?”
I chuckle and wandlessly conjure a knife in my hand and made a cut across my palm exposing the silver blood under my skin.
“After living for so long, I’m not technically human anymore. I may not be fully immortal anymore, but I will never grow old and die of old age. Someone would have to kill me for me to die and trust me, there is very little chance of that happening; I am extremely resilient. But don’t worry, even if I lost my immortality, I couldn’t be happier. I am not constrained by the events of the past anymore. The chains of fate have no hold on me. Never underestimate how precious free will is.”
“So, tell me about yourself. Do I know you from any history books?” my daughter asked eagerly.
I laugh at her childishness, I guess castles take some time to mature. “Of course, dear. Well, like I told you I the Morrigan of Atlantis. That is my true name everything else is just personas. My most known persona I ever took wasn’t actually Helga Hufflepuff, it was Morgan Le Fey.”
“THE Morgan Le Fey. Merlin’s enemy? The evil witch that destroyed Camelot?”
“Ha, not really. For some reason the history books confuse me and Morgause. Myrddin was actually my former apprentice. And while I hated Myrddin for what he’s done and what he became, I didn’t intervene before he attacked me first and tried to kill your sister and even then, I just fought Myrddin no one else.”
“Wait a minute, I have a sister?”
“Yeah, she inside the caste now. She’s a ghost called Mordred.”
“Really, that’s fascinating. I’ll have to get to know her better. So, who else did you live as?”
“Well, there was Helga Hufflepuff, as you know. I was called Medusa back in ancient Greece, Wadjet when I lived in Egypt a little before coming to Greece. Oh yeah, Isolt Sayre back in the 1600s when I founded Ilvemorny.”
She looked at me speechless. I think I might have broken her or something. Suddenly, she changed the topic. Undoubtedly, she needed time to process what I had just shared with her.
“You lived for so long, met so many people. Why did you leave me? Was I not good enough?”
Her voice was small and I felt horrible that I made her feel this way. I needed to rectify this.
“No, honey. It’s just that I rarely develop relationships as meaningful as the ones I had with the other founders. And by rare, I mean once every half a millennium rare. What people don’t understand about living so long is the fact that other people don’t live as long. They wither and they die and they leave. And it hurts so much. With everything going to shit as quickly as it did. I had to get away to deal with the grief. Still, even if I hadn’t left, I would have later when fate gives me another role in history.
But I didn’t do it just for me but also for you. You needed to learn, to observe, to live. I might have lit the spark but it was the students that gave you life. You needed to grow up and you couldn’t do it with your mother always nearby. You needed to make mistakes and learn from them, that’s what you do when you’re alive. I did always check up on you when I heard news about Hogwarts. Every battle, every takeover, betrayal, I made sure you were well. I wasn’t strong enough then to talk to you, I hadn’t delt with my grief yet. I hadn’t truly accepted who I am, what I am. And for that I am very very sorry.”
With a wave of my hand, the glowing runes that represented Dumbledore’s hold on the castle wards slowly changed.
“As an apology, I gave you back complete control over the usurper’s wards. I pretty much switched places. He can only control them if you let them. You can even activate some of the old wards if you change the amount of magic absorbed by Dumbledore’s wards. And don’t worry about the old man, I have plans for him. Once he’s gone, we’ll remove the ward stones and restore the original wards.”
She smiled at me and we spent the entire night together, reminiscing and making up for lost time. It was one of the best nights I had for a long time.
15th of January 1995, Hogwarts
Today was the end of the winter holidays and the students came back to the castle. Naturally, I chose that day to return to the castle as well. Rose was coming back and I missed mt baby sister. I greet her as I see her in the great hall and, as I expect it, I find myself called to the headmaster’s office a few minutes later. Of course, I didn’t go there before I finished my lunch; no need to expose myself to bullshit on an empty stomach.
Around an hour after my convocation, I walk up to the headmaster’s office, the gargoyle moves out of the way without me even speaking to it and I knock on the door. Of course, the three people I want to talk to the least are there. James and Lily Potter are standing up while Albus Dumbledore is sitting at his desk.
“You summoned me?” I asked monotony.
“Ah yes, my girl, you had disappeared from the castle. We were worried.”
I stay silent and say nothing. It’s a common interrogation tactic. By staying silent, I control the conversation. He should try to get me to talk.
After a minute of silence, he gave up on me answering him and said, “I was asked to inform you about the scores you got in the first task. You have received in total 45 points, with each judge giving you a perfect mark apart from Headmaster Karkaroff that gave you five points out of ten.”
Again, I say nothing. It’s not like I care about points for some stupid tournament. James and Lily still haven’t said a word. Still in Dumbledore’s pocket, I see.
He continues, “I have to say, Ms. Potter, that your performance during the first task was very impressive but I’m afraid I have never seen such magic before. Now, I consider myself quite knowledgeable in magic and it’s quite rare for me to be this stumped when I don’t understand something. Where did you learn such magic?”
“My name is Evanshade and I didn’t,” I answer him.
“I don’t quite get that. How could you not have learnt it?”
“I didn’t learn it, I created it.”
Every adult in the room was rendered speechless at my statement. They could not believe that a fourteen year old girl could invent something like that. They’re right, of course, but they don’t need to know that. From what I could glean from Dumbledore’s mind, he wants to recruit me to work as his apprentice / underling before the tournament is over.
James and Lily are just proud of me. I really feel bad for them but they would always consider themselves my parents and I just don’t need parents anymore and even then, they’re very bad ones. They projected their grief onto Nathan and Rose, something that caused the children a lot of issues as they grew up. James and Lily Potter didn’t truly survive Voldemort’s attack. I remember them from before the attack and they are now a shell of their previous selves.
“If you are indeed the creator of such a wonderful technique, can you explain to us the principals involved.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” James interrupted for the first time.
“As the creator of this type of magic, I have added to the grimoire as branch of the Sayre family magic. I’m afraid that asking me about it is quite the taboo in society. So, it is quite understandable that I choose not to share it with you.” I answer.
I can fell Dumbledore gritting his teeth in anger, but he suddenly changed his expression back into the jovial old man. “Now, Ms. Potter, we need to speak about your absence during the Yule ball.”
I stay silent once more. I can feel he’s getting frustrated, now. This is fun.
“Care to explain yourself?”
“My name is Evanshade, I just chose not to come.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Evanshade, Champions are required to attend the Yule ball.”
“No, they’re not. When the goblet was first used, the tournament didn’t have a Yule ball and since you have admitted that the goblet contract hasn’t changed ever since the first tournament, it was not required for me to attend. The contract is magically enforced and I can assure you, my magic is fine.”
Of course, we both know that I wasn’t really part of the tournament since I wasn’t magically bound to compete. Dumbledore used the summoning function of the Goblet not the contract binding one. He had to agree with me or he knew I would figure out I wasn’t magically bound to stay in Hogwarts.
“Alright, I guess you caught me. It’s just a custom in the tournament and I have always valued traditions. Now, onto the most pressing matter. How were you able to enter and leave the castle without me noticing? The wards are still powered, I checked. There was no breach. This is a security concern. If you could enter the castle, then other people could infiltrate and attack my students.”
Yeah, like the death eater you hired as a professor, I thought sarcastically. I inwardly smile at the answer I just thought of.
“I asked the Nargles.”
Dumbledore looks dumbstruck at my answer. He definitely didn’t expect that. He seemed to understand what the Nargles are. Who would have thought? Dumbledore is a Quibbler fan.
“If that’s our conversation done, professor, I would like to take my leave.” The man didn’t even answer me and I got up and left the office. Lily looked like she wanted to say something but refrained from doing so. I guess they planned to talk to me about something. It was fun keeping someone who’s used to be in control like Dumbledore on his toes. I guess this round goes to me.
I spent the next month spending as much time as possible with Nathan and Rose. Well, mostly Rose because of her lessons and I like her more. She has a lot less negativity. Before I noticed it was time for the second task. I just hope that they won’t needlessly endanger the hostages. Damn, time flies when you’re as old as me.
