[Bucky Barnes – The Winter Soldier (Reformed) POV]
Bucky was a mess and he knew it.
The whole HYDRA thing was a deal breaker that only served to drag him deeper into this quagmire of self-hatred.
The few days he spent with that quack of a doc was something he was really thankful for, and also something he didn’t know he needed until now.
At least that was one person who didn’t judge. The doc was… an enigma if were to say his honest impression. Never had eyes of judgment, never did his emotions fluctuate unsteadily, even when he vented out his frustrations he did so in an orderly manner… an efficient manner. It made him hard to read but also made him easier to talk to.
The doc was also weird. Some times he would be happy and vibrant and the next second he would seem like an old man with a forlorn expression he had. Even his speech pattern was prone to change.. It took him two days to come to the conclusion that… the doc was bipolar. His mood swings were erratic but somehow orderly.
The doc, or rather Draul as he called himself, was one to wear his heart on a sleeve even though Bucky knew how far that was from the truth.
He would admit that he was getting comfortable in the company of Draul, so he didn’t quite know how to react when he was told of the news of Steve’s awakening.
He was happy, ecstatic even, but he didn’t know how to express those. It wasn’t like the old days where they would laugh their recent fuck ups over a drink and forget about it.
According to how Draul put it, ‘this is the 21st century, shit wasn’t how they used to be.’
He had done things that couldn’t be forgiven, he knew that. He had killed; from the corrupt to the innocent, he had murdered entire innocent families just because he was ordered to. Brainwashed or not, those were his crimes and they couldn’t be forgotten and pardoned over a simple ‘it was not your fault.’
He shook off those depressing thoughts as he was directed to meet Steve. He could feel the wariness of the Agent Hill who was acting as his guide. Her hands were by her side in a normal fashion but he could see how her hands twitched every time he turned his head or made to say something.
The act was unnecessary since if he wanted to, he could make sure she was immobilized before she even reached for her gun. He wanted to tell her that but figured there was no need to call her out on her precaution.
“He’s inside.” She told him as they came to the front of what looked like a hospital door.
He stood in front of what could be called the biggest door of his life. Steve was in there, not looking a day older than the day he went under according to what Draul said. He was meeting the same Steve who they went on the same mission before that train wreck.
The Steve who was still unknown to all the disgusting things he did… Well not anymore.
“Excuse me, is there a problem?” He turned to see Agent Hill still at his side looking at him in increased wariness and confusion.
“Yeah.. Uh.. No. Uhm, any advice on what to expect?” He asked the agent who looked increasingly confused at that.
It took her a moment to compose herself before she answered him. “You’re the only person he knows, so that alone is a plus. If you want advice then just tell him what you can since he’ll find out sooner or later, that’s a step as good as any.”
He took in a deep breath and pushed the door open.
The room was remodeled in an old fashion setting, looking nothing like the hospital rooms of nowadays. In it was a small table with a flower vase on top of it and by its side was a bed.
He looked around the room for the figure he could still remember, although vividly, and his breath caught in his throat as he saw the man standing in front of the window. The image seemed to overlap with that of a scrawny looking youth who looked extremely malnourished… and then he turned.
In the youth’s place was a man he remembered all to well. The eyes were the same and so was the smile.
“Hey Bucky.” He didn’t know what happened but all he knew was that the next second they were trapped in a hug.
A brother he thought forgotten.
A comrade he thought dead.
A leader he thought buried in an unmarked tundra of the arctic.
“I thought I lost you.” His voice was cracked but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered in this moment except his memories and his brother.
They stayed like that for a while before Steve said. “It’s pretty crazy isn’t it? Last thing I remember was fighting Schmidt and HYDRA and then crashing somewhere in the Pacific, now I wake up and they tell me it’s been 50 years. I half expected you to be all grown up and grey.”
“Me too, but I guess time did pull a number on us both.” He said.
“I thought I lost you Bucky.”
Bucky chuckled at that and looked at Steve with a serious expression on his face. “There’s something I have to tell you Steve.” He couldn’t wait, he couldn’t just keep quiet not when the amount of guilt he felt increased as he saw how Steve still treated him like before.
So he told him.
Everything about what he remembered.
How Zola found him and brainwashed him for HYDRA, how the new leaders of HYDRA used him like a hunt dog as he slaughtered his former countrymen. How he killed his friends and innocents.
He told it all.
He didn’t know what to expect. He expected many things to happen but he didn’t know which was more plausible in this kind of situation, but what he did know was that he didn’t expect the expression of intense fury on Steve’s face.
If it was directed at them then that would have been in line of what he expected but the rage present of Steve’s face was directed at something else.
“HYDRA!” Was all Steve said through his gritted teeth and was all Bucky need to know at least he had someone who still wanted to stand by him.
“What of S.H.I.E.L.D? If HYDRA infested them like you said, do you still think they can be trusted?” Steve asked after calming down.
“To an extent, yes. We definitely can’t trust the council but there are a few people who we can work with.” Bucky was an assassin and also a prominent fighter, so was Steve. Trust was something they both knew only they could give.
For an organization like S.H.I.E.L.D, even if it had been de-HYDRA-ted, was not something they could trust at the drop of a hat, Bucky knew.
“There are still HYDRA bases scattered across the world right? I’ll help you destroy them all!” Steve looked at Bucky with conviction.
“You just woke up after sleeping for 50 years-” Bucky started but Steve cut in.
“That is more than enough time to rest.”
“Look Steve, the war already ended –”
“To me it was just yesterday.”
Bucky sighed at that. “You are going to make it harder than it already is aren’t you? This is not your fight Steve. It’s my atonement.”
But Steve was not fazed, “Then I’ll help you atone.”
Bucky looked at him for a moment before he gave a low laugh. “Then I’d better help you get rid of those sleepy muscles. Who knows what that long nap did to it.”
They talked for a while before the left the ward as they needed to see someone.
The one-eyed director.
“Good to see you are already acclimating to the environment Captain.” Fury said as they walked into his office and gestured for them to take a seat.
“I thank you for the hospitality Director.” Steve replied as he and Bucky both sat on the presented seats.
“Is there something I can help you with Captain?” Fury asked the de-capcicled captain.
“I want in.” Was all Steve said while Fury had a confused look on his face.
“I’m sorry but you’ll gonna have to spec-”
“The hunt for HYDRA, Director. I want in.” Steve said with a tone that said he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Right. I guess you’ve heard all about it then. Just for clearance, the council have no information on where the bases are and also no vital information about HYDRA and what they planned to do.”
Not just Steve but even Bucky frowned at that.
“Why?” Bucky asked.
“So they don’t pull one over my eye. It’s a precaution to dig out any other HYDRA spy and also put the council in their place and stop them from interfering too much with our work.” Fury explained. His entire tone was serious from which could be inferred that he and the council were presently not in good terms. “We are spread too thin for my liking and the only person I can trust that’s not within the walls of S.H.I.E.L.D is too happy with his hard earned sabbatical… Hold the fuck up.” Fury’s face contorted into a disturbing grin as he fished out a burner phone and rang someone.
“What’s up Nick?” Came a voice which Bucky immediately recognized as the quack’s.
“Say, what exactly are doing now?” Fury asked.
The voice went silent for a while before he answered. “… I found an HYDRA trail and I don’t like where it’s headed one bit.”
Instead of being worried about the HYDRA trail, Fury’s smile became wider as he said in a sing-song tone, “How about I help you out a bit and you help me with a little pickle I’ve got on my hands.”
“I don’t see any problem with that. Sure why not?”
“Good! They’ll drop by your house in the evening.”
“Sure no prob- What do you mean ‘they'? Who’s they?”
“Talk to you later.” Fury cut the call with a satisfied expression on his face despite the protest of the recipient.
“The quack’s not gonna be happy, you know that right?” Bucky said, but even he couldn’t prevent the small crack as his lips tugged upwards.
“And what is he gonna do about it? Bite me?” Fury retorted.
“So what now? I don’t know about you guys but I definitely wouldn’t trust a quack doctor, much less seek his cooperation in any way.” Steve said leaving the two men in the room stunned.
“I can now see why Draul wanted to wake you up as soon as possible.” Fury said to Steve making the elder man confused.
“That aside, you still aren’t in the clear Captain and I believe that Draul would help in painting a good picture of your capabilities not that I’m doubting it but the world has become a lot stranger ever since you disappeared and your new chaperone would be the best person to catch you up to speed.” Fury said without even giving the man room to protest. He wanted to fight so they had bring him to his top shape.
“When do we leave?” Said an all to eager Steve.
“Relax Captain Rogers. This isn’t wartime, it’s time for retribution. And the best way to deliver it is slowly so your enemies can feel it clearly.” Fury said as he stared at the man. He could understand as looking from Steve’s perspective, he was in the fight of his life just hours ago and now it looks like while he was busy sleeping, the enemies he gave his life to fight had encroached the country he fought for.
Steve didn’t look pacified but he relented since he knew he was being too hasty.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.” Fury said as he dismissed them.
“What do we do now?” Steve asked Bucky.
“Relax Steve, how about I just show you around.”
Steve nodded and Bucky took him out to the city he only saw from his window. It was a lot different form the New York city he knew. From the car to the houses to the people and even the clothes they wore, everything was different to the point that he felt… off.
“It different from what I remembered.” Steve suddenly said as they walked through the city. “Everything is.”
“Guess that what happens when you disappear for 50 years. The world keep spinning on.” Bucky said.
“How about a drink?” Bucky said as he led his to a bar named ‘Charlie’s bar’.
“What do you want?” The barman asked them as they sat in front of the counter.
“How about a ‘welcome home’ drink for him and I’ll take what you can throw an old face.” Bucky said.
“A tequila sunrise for the young man and an apple scotch you.” The barman said with a smile as he started mixing the drink.
[Bucky Barnes – The Winter Soldier (Reformed) POV]
Bucky was a mess and he knew it.
The whole HYDRA thing was a deal breaker that only served to drag him deeper into this quagmire of self-hatred.
The few days he spent with that quack of a doc was something he was really thankful for, and also something he didn’t know he needed until now.
At least that was one person who didn’t judge. The doc was… an enigma if were to say his honest impression. Never had eyes of judgment, never did his emotions fluctuate unsteadily, even when he vented out his frustrations he did so in an orderly manner… an efficient manner. It made him hard to read but also made him easier to talk to.
The doc was also weird. Some times he would be happy and vibrant and the next second he would seem like an old man with a forlorn expression he had. Even his speech pattern was prone to change.. It took him two days to come to the conclusion that… the doc was bipolar. His mood swings were erratic but somehow orderly.
The doc, or rather Draul as he called himself, was one to wear his heart on a sleeve even though Bucky knew how far that was from the truth.
He would admit that he was getting comfortable in the company of Draul, so he didn’t quite know how to react when he was told of the news of Steve’s awakening.
He was happy, ecstatic even, but he didn’t know how to express those. It wasn’t like the old days where they would laugh their recent fuck ups over a drink and forget about it.
According to how Draul put it, ‘this is the 21st century, shit wasn’t how they used to be.’
He had done things that couldn’t be forgiven, he knew that. He had killed; from the corrupt to the innocent, he had murdered entire innocent families just because he was ordered to. Brainwashed or not, those were his crimes and they couldn’t be forgotten and pardoned over a simple ‘it was not your fault.’
He shook off those depressing thoughts as he was directed to meet Steve. He could feel the wariness of the Agent Hill who was acting as his guide. Her hands were by her side in a normal fashion but he could see how her hands twitched every time he turned his head or made to say something.
The act was unnecessary since if he wanted to, he could make sure she was immobilized before she even reached for her gun. He wanted to tell her that but figured there was no need to call her out on her precaution.
“He’s inside.” She told him as they came to the front of what looked like a hospital door.
He stood in front of what could be called the biggest door of his life. Steve was in there, not looking a day older than the day he went under according to what Draul said. He was meeting the same Steve who they went on the same mission before that train wreck.
The Steve who was still unknown to all the disgusting things he did… Well not anymore.
“Excuse me, is there a problem?” He turned to see Agent Hill still at his side looking at him in increased wariness and confusion.
“Yeah.. Uh.. No. Uhm, any advice on what to expect?” He asked the agent who looked increasingly confused at that.
It took her a moment to compose herself before she answered him. “You’re the only person he knows, so that alone is a plus. If you want advice then just tell him what you can since he’ll find out sooner or later, that’s a step as good as any.”
He took in a deep breath and pushed the door open.
The room was remodeled in an old fashion setting, looking nothing like the hospital rooms of nowadays. In it was a small table with a flower vase on top of it and by its side was a bed.
He looked around the room for the figure he could still remember, although vividly, and his breath caught in his throat as he saw the man standing in front of the window. The image seemed to overlap with that of a scrawny looking youth who looked extremely malnourished… and then he turned.
In the youth’s place was a man he remembered all to well. The eyes were the same and so was the smile.
“Hey Bucky.” He didn’t know what happened but all he knew was that the next second they were trapped in a hug.
A brother he thought forgotten.
A comrade he thought dead.
A leader he thought buried in an unmarked tundra of the arctic.
“I thought I lost you.” His voice was cracked but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered in this moment except his memories and his brother.
They stayed like that for a while before Steve said. “It’s pretty crazy isn’t it? Last thing I remember was fighting Schmidt and HYDRA and then crashing somewhere in the Pacific, now I wake up and they tell me it’s been 50 years. I half expected you to be all grown up and grey.”
“Me too, but I guess time did pull a number on us both.” He said.
“I thought I lost you Bucky.”
Bucky chuckled at that and looked at Steve with a serious expression on his face. “There’s something I have to tell you Steve.” He couldn’t wait, he couldn’t just keep quiet not when the amount of guilt he felt increased as he saw how Steve still treated him like before.
So he told him.
Everything about what he remembered.
How Zola found him and brainwashed him for HYDRA, how the new leaders of HYDRA used him like a hunt dog as he slaughtered his former countrymen. How he killed his friends and innocents.
He told it all.
He didn’t know what to expect. He expected many things to happen but he didn’t know which was more plausible in this kind of situation, but what he did know was that he didn’t expect the expression of intense fury on Steve’s face.
If it was directed at them then that would have been in line of what he expected but the rage present of Steve’s face was directed at something else.
“HYDRA!” Was all Steve said through his gritted teeth and was all Bucky need to know at least he had someone who still wanted to stand by him.
“What of S.H.I.E.L.D? If HYDRA infested them like you said, do you still think they can be trusted?” Steve asked after calming down.
“To an extent, yes. We definitely can’t trust the council but there are a few people who we can work with.” Bucky was an assassin and also a prominent fighter, so was Steve. Trust was something they both knew only they could give.
For an organization like S.H.I.E.L.D, even if it had been de-HYDRA-ted, was not something they could trust at the drop of a hat, Bucky knew.
“There are still HYDRA bases scattered across the world right? I’ll help you destroy them all!” Steve looked at Bucky with conviction.
“You just woke up after sleeping for 50 years-” Bucky started but Steve cut in.
“That is more than enough time to rest.”
“Look Steve, the war already ended –”
“To me it was just yesterday.”
Bucky sighed at that. “You are going to make it harder than it already is aren’t you? This is not your fight Steve. It’s my atonement.”
But Steve was not fazed, “Then I’ll help you atone.”
Bucky looked at him for a moment before he gave a low laugh. “Then I’d better help you get rid of those sleepy muscles. Who knows what that long nap did to it.”
They talked for a while before the left the ward as they needed to see someone.
The one-eyed director.
“Good to see you are already acclimating to the environment Captain.” Fury said as they walked into his office and gestured for them to take a seat.
“I thank you for the hospitality Director.” Steve replied as he and Bucky both sat on the presented seats.
“Is there something I can help you with Captain?” Fury asked the de-capcicled captain.
“I want in.” Was all Steve said while Fury had a confused look on his face.
“I’m sorry but you’ll gonna have to spec-”
“The hunt for HYDRA, Director. I want in.” Steve said with a tone that said he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“Right. I guess you’ve heard all about it then. Just for clearance, the council have no information on where the bases are and also no vital information about HYDRA and what they planned to do.”
Not just Steve but even Bucky frowned at that.
“Why?” Bucky asked.
“So they don’t pull one over my eye. It’s a precaution to dig out any other HYDRA spy and also put the council in their place and stop them from interfering too much with our work.” Fury explained. His entire tone was serious from which could be inferred that he and the council were presently not in good terms. “We are spread too thin for my liking and the only person I can trust that’s not within the walls of S.H.I.E.L.D is too happy with his hard earned sabbatical… Hold the fuck up.” Fury’s face contorted into a disturbing grin as he fished out a burner phone and rang someone.
“What’s up Nick?” Came a voice which Bucky immediately recognized as the quack’s.
“Say, what exactly are doing now?” Fury asked.
The voice went silent for a while before he answered. “… I found an HYDRA trail and I don’t like where it’s headed one bit.”
Instead of being worried about the HYDRA trail, Fury’s smile became wider as he said in a sing-song tone, “How about I help you out a bit and you help me with a little pickle I’ve got on my hands.”
“I don’t see any problem with that. Sure why not?”
“Good! They’ll drop by your house in the evening.”
“Sure no prob- What do you mean ‘they'? Who’s they?”
“Talk to you later.” Fury cut the call with a satisfied expression on his face despite the protest of the recipient.
“The quack’s not gonna be happy, you know that right?” Bucky said, but even he couldn’t prevent the small crack as his lips tugged upwards.
“And what is he gonna do about it? Bite me?” Fury retorted.
“So what now? I don’t know about you guys but I definitely wouldn’t trust a quack doctor, much less seek his cooperation in any way.” Steve said leaving the two men in the room stunned.
“I can now see why Draul wanted to wake you up as soon as possible.” Fury said to Steve making the elder man confused.
“That aside, you still aren’t in the clear Captain and I believe that Draul would help in painting a good picture of your capabilities not that I’m doubting it but the world has become a lot stranger ever since you disappeared and your new chaperone would be the best person to catch you up to speed.” Fury said without even giving the man room to protest. He wanted to fight so they had bring him to his top shape.
“When do we leave?” Said an all to eager Steve.
“Relax Captain Rogers. This isn’t wartime, it’s time for retribution. And the best way to deliver it is slowly so your enemies can feel it clearly.” Fury said as he stared at the man. He could understand as looking from Steve’s perspective, he was in the fight of his life just hours ago and now it looks like while he was busy sleeping, the enemies he gave his life to fight had encroached the country he fought for.
Steve didn’t look pacified but he relented since he knew he was being too hasty.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.” Fury said as he dismissed them.
“What do we do now?” Steve asked Bucky.
“Relax Steve, how about I just show you around.”
Steve nodded and Bucky took him out to the city he only saw from his window. It was a lot different form the New York city he knew. From the car to the houses to the people and even the clothes they wore, everything was different to the point that he felt… off.
“It different from what I remembered.” Steve suddenly said as they walked through the city. “Everything is.”
“Guess that what happens when you disappear for 50 years. The world keep spinning on.” Bucky said.
“How about a drink?” Bucky said as he led his to a bar named ‘Charlie’s bar’.
“What do you want?” The barman asked them as they sat in front of the counter.
“How about a ‘welcome home’ drink for him and I’ll take what you can throw an old face.” Bucky said.
“A tequila sunrise for the young man and an apple scotch you.” The barman said with a smile as he started mixing the drink.
