Chapter 156: 156 Dread
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156 Dread
~ JAYAH ~
As evening fell, Jayah was already back at the cave where she’d met Skhal before. They’d arranged through the mindlink to meet there that night—though Skhal hadn’t known how long it would take him to have the freedom to leave again.
‘Don’t let any of them see you. I don’t know what Zev’s going to do. I’m hoping that being back with the people will help him relax and I can bring you back with me,’ he’d told her when he’d held her, so tightly, before they’d said goodbye.
Jayah had been through war. She’d been through crisis. She’d lived through countless deaths and births and all the ups and downs of life.
She knew that sometimes life was hard, and there was just no way to avoid that. She’d been willing to wait until she was trusted to meet Skhal’s people. When they were still together and Zev had made it clear that she wasn’t to come to the encampment with them, she’d even understood, though her heart had ached at the idea of leaving her mate.
But it wasn’t until they’d actually had to say goodbye… she nearly panicked. She would have thought with the bond completed and their mindlink so strong, it would be easier to be physically distant. But the opposite was true.
Walking away from Skhal in that moment had felt like scalping herself. And she’d felt him fighting it too—his body resisting to the point of pain.
Now she paced the small, damp cave where they’d first met, and had been reunited before, her hands shaking and body tense.
It had been much easier to get here this time. She’d approached from the Chimeran side, and it was clear her information from Elreth was true—the Anima really had drawn back to the WildWood side of the ravine. They weren’t trying to manage the movement of the Chimera in their own territory.
.....
There were patrols a mile back, she knew. But none here, so she hadn’t even had to be more than cautious, looking for any rebels or outliers who’d come closer than they were supposed to. But that also meant she had nothing to distract her from the ache she felt for her mate.
An ache that was somehow increasing as she felt him drawing nearer.
When they reached a certain distance apart he just became a presence in her chest—she could point in the direction she’d follow to find him, but she had no way to measure how far away he was. But as he drew closer, suddenly, she could feel him.
Relief fought with panic to run to him and find him. But she’d told him she would stay here until he got here, praying that she could return with him. And if not… if not they would be together before she went back to her people.
When the cave entrance—already dark because it was obscured by ferns and the shadows of trees—grew even darker because his bulk blocked what little light did filter through, Jayah hurried towards him. Skhal stopped just inside the cave entrance, his eyes bright and fierce, fixed on her as she ran to him, throwing herself into his chest and swallowing tears when he did nothing but bury his nose in her shoulder and hold her, so tightly.
They stood there together for a long time, neither of them willing to let go. Neither of them speaking. Their hearts slowly soothing as they were finally together.
Jayah found she could finally breathe. She would have been happy to stand there with him for hours, holding to his strength and warmth forever, and to hell with this conflict, these people around them.
Which was the thought that told her she had to discipline herself. She’d only found her mate because of her willingness to sacrifice to bring these people together, she reminded herself. To lose sight of that goal now would be beyond selfish.
With a heavy, reluctant sigh, she pulled her head back far enough to look at Skhal, who straightened and stared at her, drinking her in as if she were water.
One of his large hands trailed down her hair, over and over again as they stared at each other, and Jayah’s face dropped.
If he’d had good news he would have shared it already, she was sure.
So she braced for the blow and made herself ask. “How bad is it?”
“Worse than I thought,” he growled without hesitation. “Zev is… shut down. Self-protective. Untrusting. I thought getting him out from behind the bars would help him see more clearly. But he’s not focused on finding peace. He’s out for revenge.”
Jayah sucked in a breath, praying that she hadn’t been a vehicle for the demise of her own Queen.
“Skhal—”
“I’m not going to let him hurt you—or your people, Jayah. I just… I really thought when he got clear and got back to his clan he’d see it for himself. He’d relax and let himself smile again. But he’s not. He’s cold and distant and stressed and…”
“Maybe he needs sleep? You’d be surprised how many of our emotional and mental tensions can be eased with good rest.”
Skhal nodded thoughtfully and rolled his jaw. “Perhaps. I’ll definitely do what I can to make sure he gets rest. I’ll drug him if I have to.”
Jayah gave a little huff of laughter. Males and their overstatements—
“Don’t laugh. I’ve done it before,” he said gruffly, but his eyes were twinkling. Was he serious?
Jayah tilted her head, then put her hands on his shoulders—so broad and strong, and yet they sagged this evening. “Speaking of rest. Zev isn’t the only one who needs it. How much time do you have?”
His face tightened. “Hours at best. He’s… he’s calling the people to war, Jayah. I have to be there to make sure he doesn’t overstep before we can reel him back in. But I couldn’t leave you here—I had to find some of the hunters anyway. But I can’t stay. Not all night.”
Jayah nodded, her stomach sinking. “I can wait until tomorrow, just in case. But if you don’t return in the morning, I’ll go back—”
Skhal gave a little growl and she put a hand to his jaw that was suddenly even tighter.
“Jayah,” he said reluctantly, “This is the first time I’m not certain you’ll be safe.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of myself this long—”
“No, Jayah, hear me… My leader. My Alphas… Two days ago I would have sworn your safety as my mate among them. Would have walked you across a battlefield unshielded. But Zev is… imbalanced right now. And the others are listening—even though they’re nervous, they haven’t met the Anima face to face. I thought if you were there and Tarkyn, they’d see. We could raise hope and with that, peace. But Zev won’t allow you in while you remain loyal to your Queen, and you said Tarkyn wouldn’t—”
“I’m certain of it,” Jayah said unhappily. “He will not abandon her even if he disagrees with her. He will try to… smooth a path.”
Skhal nodded and stroked her hair again. “It’s wisdom, and what I will do too,” he said flatly.
Jayah stared at him, concerned by the heaviness in his voice and posture. “Skhal, you can’t carry all of us. At some point—”
“He’s my brother. You’re my mate. I can’t live in a world where my family and my heart are at war. We’ll find a way, Jayah. But it won’t happen today. And I can’t stay with you. So, that means… that means you need to go to where you are safe.
Jayah’s chest pinched, but she nodded. “It’s probably for the best. I can be of more help on that side, trying to bring peace through the Anima,” she said doubtfully.
“It’s not the Anima I worry about,” he murmured, pulling her back into his chest. “I need you, Jayah. I can’t… I can’t see my way through this yet. That terrifies me. I can’t lose you already.”
“You won’t,” she murmured, pulling him down into a soft kiss. “You won’t.”
But his grip was tight and desperate as he walked her deeper into the cave, and his calls to her when he entered her were tormented pleas that shook Jayah to her bones.
And when they began to move together, he held her so closely that she struggled to know where his body ended, and hers began.
He was a part of her, and she of him.
They couldn’t let others tear them apart.
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156 Dread
~ JAYAH ~
As evening fell, Jayah was already back at the cave where she’d met Skhal before. They’d arranged through the mindlink to meet there that night—though Skhal hadn’t known how long it would take him to have the freedom to leave again.
‘Don’t let any of them see you. I don’t know what Zev’s going to do. I’m hoping that being back with the people will help him relax and I can bring you back with me,’ he’d told her when he’d held her, so tightly, before they’d said goodbye.
Jayah had been through war. She’d been through crisis. She’d lived through countless deaths and births and all the ups and downs of life.
She knew that sometimes life was hard, and there was just no way to avoid that. She’d been willing to wait until she was trusted to meet Skhal’s people. When they were still together and Zev had made it clear that she wasn’t to come to the encampment with them, she’d even understood, though her heart had ached at the idea of leaving her mate.
But it wasn’t until they’d actually had to say goodbye… she nearly panicked. She would have thought with the bond completed and their mindlink so strong, it would be easier to be physically distant. But the opposite was true.
Walking away from Skhal in that moment had felt like scalping herself. And she’d felt him fighting it too—his body resisting to the point of pain.
Now she paced the small, damp cave where they’d first met, and had been reunited before, her hands shaking and body tense.
It had been much easier to get here this time. She’d approached from the Chimeran side, and it was clear her information from Elreth was true—the Anima really had drawn back to the WildWood side of the ravine. They weren’t trying to manage the movement of the Chimera in their own territory.
.....
There were patrols a mile back, she knew. But none here, so she hadn’t even had to be more than cautious, looking for any rebels or outliers who’d come closer than they were supposed to. But that also meant she had nothing to distract her from the ache she felt for her mate.
An ache that was somehow increasing as she felt him drawing nearer.
When they reached a certain distance apart he just became a presence in her chest—she could point in the direction she’d follow to find him, but she had no way to measure how far away he was. But as he drew closer, suddenly, she could feel him.
Relief fought with panic to run to him and find him. But she’d told him she would stay here until he got here, praying that she could return with him. And if not… if not they would be together before she went back to her people.
When the cave entrance—already dark because it was obscured by ferns and the shadows of trees—grew even darker because his bulk blocked what little light did filter through, Jayah hurried towards him. Skhal stopped just inside the cave entrance, his eyes bright and fierce, fixed on her as she ran to him, throwing herself into his chest and swallowing tears when he did nothing but bury his nose in her shoulder and hold her, so tightly.
They stood there together for a long time, neither of them willing to let go. Neither of them speaking. Their hearts slowly soothing as they were finally together.
Jayah found she could finally breathe. She would have been happy to stand there with him for hours, holding to his strength and warmth forever, and to hell with this conflict, these people around them.
Which was the thought that told her she had to discipline herself. She’d only found her mate because of her willingness to sacrifice to bring these people together, she reminded herself. To lose sight of that goal now would be beyond selfish.
With a heavy, reluctant sigh, she pulled her head back far enough to look at Skhal, who straightened and stared at her, drinking her in as if she were water.
One of his large hands trailed down her hair, over and over again as they stared at each other, and Jayah’s face dropped.
If he’d had good news he would have shared it already, she was sure.
So she braced for the blow and made herself ask. “How bad is it?”
“Worse than I thought,” he growled without hesitation. “Zev is… shut down. Self-protective. Untrusting. I thought getting him out from behind the bars would help him see more clearly. But he’s not focused on finding peace. He’s out for revenge.”
Jayah sucked in a breath, praying that she hadn’t been a vehicle for the demise of her own Queen.
“Skhal—”
“I’m not going to let him hurt you—or your people, Jayah. I just… I really thought when he got clear and got back to his clan he’d see it for himself. He’d relax and let himself smile again. But he’s not. He’s cold and distant and stressed and…”
“Maybe he needs sleep? You’d be surprised how many of our emotional and mental tensions can be eased with good rest.”
Skhal nodded thoughtfully and rolled his jaw. “Perhaps. I’ll definitely do what I can to make sure he gets rest. I’ll drug him if I have to.”
Jayah gave a little huff of laughter. Males and their overstatements—
“Don’t laugh. I’ve done it before,” he said gruffly, but his eyes were twinkling. Was he serious?
Jayah tilted her head, then put her hands on his shoulders—so broad and strong, and yet they sagged this evening. “Speaking of rest. Zev isn’t the only one who needs it. How much time do you have?”
His face tightened. “Hours at best. He’s… he’s calling the people to war, Jayah. I have to be there to make sure he doesn’t overstep before we can reel him back in. But I couldn’t leave you here—I had to find some of the hunters anyway. But I can’t stay. Not all night.”
Jayah nodded, her stomach sinking. “I can wait until tomorrow, just in case. But if you don’t return in the morning, I’ll go back—”
Skhal gave a little growl and she put a hand to his jaw that was suddenly even tighter.
“Jayah,” he said reluctantly, “This is the first time I’m not certain you’ll be safe.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of myself this long—”
“No, Jayah, hear me… My leader. My Alphas… Two days ago I would have sworn your safety as my mate among them. Would have walked you across a battlefield unshielded. But Zev is… imbalanced right now. And the others are listening—even though they’re nervous, they haven’t met the Anima face to face. I thought if you were there and Tarkyn, they’d see. We could raise hope and with that, peace. But Zev won’t allow you in while you remain loyal to your Queen, and you said Tarkyn wouldn’t—”
“I’m certain of it,” Jayah said unhappily. “He will not abandon her even if he disagrees with her. He will try to… smooth a path.”
Skhal nodded and stroked her hair again. “It’s wisdom, and what I will do too,” he said flatly.
Jayah stared at him, concerned by the heaviness in his voice and posture. “Skhal, you can’t carry all of us. At some point—”
“He’s my brother. You’re my mate. I can’t live in a world where my family and my heart are at war. We’ll find a way, Jayah. But it won’t happen today. And I can’t stay with you. So, that means… that means you need to go to where you are safe.
Jayah’s chest pinched, but she nodded. “It’s probably for the best. I can be of more help on that side, trying to bring peace through the Anima,” she said doubtfully.
“It’s not the Anima I worry about,” he murmured, pulling her back into his chest. “I need you, Jayah. I can’t… I can’t see my way through this yet. That terrifies me. I can’t lose you already.”
“You won’t,” she murmured, pulling him down into a soft kiss. “You won’t.”
But his grip was tight and desperate as he walked her deeper into the cave, and his calls to her when he entered her were tormented pleas that shook Jayah to her bones.
And when they began to move together, he held her so closely that she struggled to know where his body ended, and hers began.
He was a part of her, and she of him.
They couldn’t let others tear them apart.
156 Dread~ JAYAH ~As evening fell, Jayah was already back at the cave where she'd met Skhal before. They'd arranged through the mindlink to meet there that nightthough Skhal hadn't known how long it would take him to have the freedom to leave again.Don't let any of them see you. I don't know what Zev's going to do. I'm hoping that being back with the people will help him relax and I can bring you back with me,' he'd told her when he'd held her, so tightly, before they'd said goodbye.Jayah had been through war. She'd been through crisis. She'd lived through countless deaths and births and all the ups and downs of life.She knew that sometimes life was hard, and there was just no way to avoid that. She'd been willing to wait until she was trusted to meet Skhal's people. When they were still together and Zev had made it clear that she wasn't to come to the encampment with them, she'd even understood, though her heart had ached at the idea of leaving her mate.But it wasn't until they'd actually had to say goodbye she nearly panicked. She would have thought with the bond completed and their mindlink so strong, it would be easier to be physically distant. But the opposite was true.Walking away from Skhal in that moment had felt like scalping herself. And she'd felt him fighting it toohis body resisting to the point of pain.Now she paced the small, damp cave where they'd first met, and had been reunited before, her hands shaking and body tense.It had been much easier to get here this time. She'd approached from the Chimeran side, and it was clear her information from Elreth was truethe Anima really had drawn back to the WildWood side of the ravine. They weren't trying to manage the movement of the Chimera in their own territory......There were patrols a mile back, she knew. But none here, so she hadn't even had to be more than cautious, looking for any rebels or outliers who'd come closer than they were supposed to. But that also meant she had nothing to distract her from the ache she felt for her mate.An ache that was somehow increasing as she felt him drawing nearer.When they reached a certain distance apart he just became a presence in her chestshe could point in the direction she'd follow to find him, but she had no way to measure how far away he was. But as he drew closer, suddenly, she could feel him.Relief fought with panic to run to him and find him. But she'd told him she would stay here until he got here, praying that she could return with him. And if not if not they would be together before she went back to her people.When the cave entrancealready dark because it was obscured by ferns and the shadows of treesgrew even darker because his bulk blocked what little light did filter through, Jayah hurried towards him. Skhal stopped just inside the cave entrance, his eyes bright and fierce, fixed on her as she ran to him, throwing herself into his chest and swallowing tears when he did nothing but bury his nose in her shoulder and hold her, so tightly.They stood there together for a long time, neither of them willing to let go. Neither of them speaking. Their hearts slowly soothing as they were finally together.Jayah found she could finally breathe. She would have been happy to stand there with him for hours, holding to his strength and warmth forever, and to hell with this conflict, these people around them.Which was the thought that told her she had to discipline herself. She'd only found her mate because of her willingness to sacrifice to bring these people together, she reminded herself. To lose sight of that goal now would be beyond selfish.With a heavy, reluctant sigh, she pulled her head back far enough to look at Skhal, who straightened and stared at her, drinking her in as if she were water.One of his large hands trailed down her hair, over and over again as they stared at each other, and Jayah's face dropped.If he'd had good news he would have shared it already, she was sure.So she braced for the blow and made herself ask. How bad is it?Worse than I thought, he growled without hesitation. Zev is shut down. Self-protective. Untrusting. I thought getting him out from behind the bars would help him see more clearly. But he's not focused on finding peace. He's out for revenge.Jayah sucked in a breath, praying that she hadn't been a vehicle for the demise of her own Queen.SkhalI'm not going to let him hurt youor your people, Jayah. I just I really thought when he got clear and got back to his clan he'd see it for himself. He'd relax and let himself smile again. But he's not. He's cold and distant and stressed andMaybe he needs sleep? You'd be surprised how many of our emotional and mental tensions can be eased with good rest.Skhal nodded thoughtfully and rolled his jaw. Perhaps. I'll definitely do what I can to make sure he gets rest. I'll drug him if I have to.Jayah gave a little huff of laughter. Males and their overstatementsDon't laugh. I've done it before, he said gruffly, but his eyes were twinkling. Was he serious?Jayah tilted her head, then put her hands on his shouldersso broad and strong, and yet they sagged this evening. Speaking of rest. Zev isn't the only one who needs it. How much time do you have?His face tightened. Hours at best. He's he's calling the people to war, Jayah. I have to be there to make sure he doesn't overstep before we can reel him back in. But I couldn't leave you hereI had to find some of the hunters anyway. But I can't stay. Not all night.Jayah nodded, her stomach sinking. I can wait until tomorrow, just in case. But if you don't return in the morning, I'll go backSkhal gave a little growl and she put a hand to his jaw that was suddenly even tighter.Jayah, he said reluctantly, This is the first time I'm not certain you'll be safe.Don't worry. I've taken care of myself this longNo, Jayah, hear me My leader. My Alphas Two days ago I would have sworn your safety as my mate among them. Would have walked you across a battlefield unshielded. But Zev is imbalanced right now. And the others are listeningeven though they're nervous, they haven't met the Anima face to face. I thought if you were there and Tarkyn, they'd see. We could raise hope and with that, peace. But Zev won't allow you in while you remain loyal to your Queen, and you said Tarkyn wouldn'tI'm certain of it, Jayah said unhappily. He will not abandon her even if he disagrees with her. He will try to smooth a path.Skhal nodded and stroked her hair again. It's wisdom, and what I will do too, he said flatly.Jayah stared at him, concerned by the heaviness in his voice and posture. Skhal, you can't carry all of us. At some pointHe's my brother. You're my mate. I can't live in a world where my family and my heart are at war. We'll find a way, Jayah. But it won't happen today. And I can't stay with you. So, that means that means you need to go to where you are safe.Jayah's chest pinched, but she nodded. It's probably for the best. I can be of more help on that side, trying to bring peace through the Anima, she said doubtfully.It's not the Anima I worry about, he murmured, pulling her back into his chest. I need you, Jayah. I can't I can't see my way through this yet. That terrifies me. I can't lose you already.You won't, she murmured, pulling him down into a soft kiss. You won't.But his grip was tight and desperate as he walked her deeper into the cave, and his calls to her when he entered her were tormented pleas that shook Jayah to her bones.And when they began to move together, he held her so closely that she struggled to know where his body ended, and hers began. He was a part of her, and she of him.They couldn't let others tear them apart.
