Chapter 179: 179 Tentative Empathy
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179 Tentative Empathy
~ SASHA ~
Sasha chewed her lip as she swayed to keep Zan quiet for a few more minutes. He was beginning to stir and would want feeding again soon. He wasn’t settling as well on the milk from the mountain goats that Jayah had recommended. Sasha prayed it was enough.
But in that moment, she had a decision to make. She’d been putting it off all afternoon.
There was a male in front of her that all her instincts, all her judgments measured as honest. A male of integrity. The kind of male she’d want on her side in any conflict. A male of the same uprightness as her mate, and Lhars, and Skhal…
They should have been friends. She could see it, if she allowed herself: See Tarkyn right in the middle of this circle that she trusted so much—and that Zev did too.
But suddenly, the vision blurred. The moment she thought of her mate, it seemed impossible to put Tarkyn among them.
Even the thought felt like a betrayal of Zev who was storming around the camp like a cat whose tail had been stood on.
He wouldn’t appreciate the metaphor.
So, what to do when her judgment conflicted with her mate’s?
.....
It was Skhal who seemed to sense her thoughts. While the others waited, watching her, he leaned into her ear.
“What would you do if you weren’t sharing the leadership? What if this was happening in the human world?” he murmured.
“I’d let him be here with his mate. I’d bring him to council and see if we could all find a way through it together.”
“Then that has to be your answer,” Skhal said quietly. And even as it was a balm, Sasha’s mind also filled with the arguments she knew Zev would give: Skhal was also motivated to see peace, to believe for it, even if it wasn’t possible. Skhal also had a mate and a loyalty that was… nudged toward this.
“I agree,” Kyelle offered quietly, looking at each of them in turn.
Lhars blew out a breath and raked his hand through his hair, glancing warily at his mate. “I don’t know about freedom to move around… but I do think there’s value in talking. Letting him approach the councils.”
“We freed everyone else,” Kyelle reminded him.
Sasha frowned. “What do you mean? Who else?”
Kyelle explained then—they’d been keeping the Chimera closed within boundaries, just like they used to at the village for the sake of the humans. But after the freedom everyone had hoped for it had been… a bad idea. Created tension and fear.
When Harth disappeared, they’d realized that if they kept doing this, they were forcing people to flee. “So we let them all go. We warned as many as we could when the Anima appeared. But some had already left before that. That’s why our numbers…” she glanced at Tarkyn and swallowed. “That’s why we have less than left Thana. Some were really suffering about being restrained. They’ve scattered. We know many are still nearby. We’re praying they’ll come back into the tents.”
“What about the creatures?” Sasha asked quickly.
“We’ve found trails and scat, but the creatures have been avoiding us even more than they did in Thana.”
Sasha wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad news. The creatures hadn’t congregated with the rest of the Chimera even in Thana. That they might spread out further in this new land wasn’t surprising.
Then she caught Tarkyn watching her and realized he didn’t look as if he was confused by this line of questioning.
“You know about the creatures?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “A little. Harth explained how they were created, and what the differences are. Also about the potential for offspring between us,” he said carefully. He looked uneasy. Sasha almost asked, but supposed that if she’d been told that their children might be strange, human-animal mixes, she’d probably feel uneasy too.
And then it struck her… She knew how Tarkyn felt. Walking into this strange people and being uncertain, but wanting to be at peace with them.
In that, at least, they shared an experience. Zev would hate her for seeing it that way, but it was only true.
She sighed and they all looked at her.
“Tarkyn… if I allow you to return to Harth, will you agree to guards? Watchers? If I allow you freedom of movement with her… within certain boundaries?”
“I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” Tarkyn said, ducking his head for a moment, though he didn’t lower his eyes. “As long as I can have privacy with my mate—no other males hands on her, or eyes on her that she doesn’t choose—I’ll only reach out among the people as you say is allowed. I’m not here to spread dissension, Sasha-don. Or false trust. I want to see all of us succeed and be able to rest.”
Sasha ached for that to be true—and for Zev to be able to believe it. “Kyelle, have any of the caves been left empty by those who left?”
“A couple of the more distant ones. One is being used for storage, but we’ve kept the other quiet—”
“Give that cave to Tarkyn and Harth. Post guards at the mouth of it. They can join the fires for meals. And if me, Skhal, or one of you is nearby, Tarkyn is free to move around the encampment. But only when an Alpha is nearby.”
Tarkyn’s brows rose in surprise, but he ducked his head again—this time dropping his eyes too. “Thank you,” he murmured.
Sasha sighed again. “I want this to be real, Tarkyn. I want you to be telling me the truth.”
“I am,” he said, emphatic.
She nodded once. “I guess we’ll find out.” Before he could answer, she went on. “I know how it feels to be landed among this people because you found your mate. I know how confusing it can be, and I know that you’re probably going to handle it a lot better than I did. But I’m also going to warn you—you are not one of us. Not yet. No matter how your heart might want to see Chimera and Anima together… you aren’t trusted yet. I’m begging you: Don’t give my mate any reason to fear you.”
Tarkyn nodded, unsmiling. “I won’t.”
Sasha wasn’t nearly as confident as he seemed to be. “When we get some guards, go find your mate. You’ll be given furs and food and time. Beyond that, pray. Because it sounds like we have two days to make this happen. And I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like enough time to me.”
Tarkyn blessed her, the relief in his voice apparent now that she’d said he could go back to Harth.
Sasha found herself both warmed by his obvious devotion to Harth, and nervous.
She knew how far a male would go in defense of his own mate when the bond was real. She just prayed that Tarkyn would give Zev no reason to mistrust him further, and that Zev would give Tarkyn no reason to fight.
Because Sasha knew first hand what happened to a male who saw the female he loved at risk.
After all, that was what had gotten them to this pickle in the first place.
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179 Tentative Empathy
~ SASHA ~
Sasha chewed her lip as she swayed to keep Zan quiet for a few more minutes. He was beginning to stir and would want feeding again soon. He wasn’t settling as well on the milk from the mountain goats that Jayah had recommended. Sasha prayed it was enough.
But in that moment, she had a decision to make. She’d been putting it off all afternoon.
There was a male in front of her that all her instincts, all her judgments measured as honest. A male of integrity. The kind of male she’d want on her side in any conflict. A male of the same uprightness as her mate, and Lhars, and Skhal…
They should have been friends. She could see it, if she allowed herself: See Tarkyn right in the middle of this circle that she trusted so much—and that Zev did too.
But suddenly, the vision blurred. The moment she thought of her mate, it seemed impossible to put Tarkyn among them.
Even the thought felt like a betrayal of Zev who was storming around the camp like a cat whose tail had been stood on.
He wouldn’t appreciate the metaphor.
So, what to do when her judgment conflicted with her mate’s?
.....
It was Skhal who seemed to sense her thoughts. While the others waited, watching her, he leaned into her ear.
“What would you do if you weren’t sharing the leadership? What if this was happening in the human world?” he murmured.
“I’d let him be here with his mate. I’d bring him to council and see if we could all find a way through it together.”
“Then that has to be your answer,” Skhal said quietly. And even as it was a balm, Sasha’s mind also filled with the arguments she knew Zev would give: Skhal was also motivated to see peace, to believe for it, even if it wasn’t possible. Skhal also had a mate and a loyalty that was… nudged toward this.
“I agree,” Kyelle offered quietly, looking at each of them in turn.
Lhars blew out a breath and raked his hand through his hair, glancing warily at his mate. “I don’t know about freedom to move around… but I do think there’s value in talking. Letting him approach the councils.”
“We freed everyone else,” Kyelle reminded him.
Sasha frowned. “What do you mean? Who else?”
Kyelle explained then—they’d been keeping the Chimera closed within boundaries, just like they used to at the village for the sake of the humans. But after the freedom everyone had hoped for it had been… a bad idea. Created tension and fear.
When Harth disappeared, they’d realized that if they kept doing this, they were forcing people to flee. “So we let them all go. We warned as many as we could when the Anima appeared. But some had already left before that. That’s why our numbers…” she glanced at Tarkyn and swallowed. “That’s why we have less than left Thana. Some were really suffering about being restrained. They’ve scattered. We know many are still nearby. We’re praying they’ll come back into the tents.”
“What about the creatures?” Sasha asked quickly.
“We’ve found trails and scat, but the creatures have been avoiding us even more than they did in Thana.”
Sasha wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad news. The creatures hadn’t congregated with the rest of the Chimera even in Thana. That they might spread out further in this new land wasn’t surprising.
Then she caught Tarkyn watching her and realized he didn’t look as if he was confused by this line of questioning.
“You know about the creatures?” she asked him.
He shrugged. “A little. Harth explained how they were created, and what the differences are. Also about the potential for offspring between us,” he said carefully. He looked uneasy. Sasha almost asked, but supposed that if she’d been told that their children might be strange, human-animal mixes, she’d probably feel uneasy too.
And then it struck her… She knew how Tarkyn felt. Walking into this strange people and being uncertain, but wanting to be at peace with them.
In that, at least, they shared an experience. Zev would hate her for seeing it that way, but it was only true.
She sighed and they all looked at her.
“Tarkyn… if I allow you to return to Harth, will you agree to guards? Watchers? If I allow you freedom of movement with her… within certain boundaries?”
“I wouldn’t have expected anything else,” Tarkyn said, ducking his head for a moment, though he didn’t lower his eyes. “As long as I can have privacy with my mate—no other males hands on her, or eyes on her that she doesn’t choose—I’ll only reach out among the people as you say is allowed. I’m not here to spread dissension, Sasha-don. Or false trust. I want to see all of us succeed and be able to rest.”
Sasha ached for that to be true—and for Zev to be able to believe it. “Kyelle, have any of the caves been left empty by those who left?”
“A couple of the more distant ones. One is being used for storage, but we’ve kept the other quiet—”
“Give that cave to Tarkyn and Harth. Post guards at the mouth of it. They can join the fires for meals. And if me, Skhal, or one of you is nearby, Tarkyn is free to move around the encampment. But only when an Alpha is nearby.”
Tarkyn’s brows rose in surprise, but he ducked his head again—this time dropping his eyes too. “Thank you,” he murmured.
Sasha sighed again. “I want this to be real, Tarkyn. I want you to be telling me the truth.”
“I am,” he said, emphatic.
She nodded once. “I guess we’ll find out.” Before he could answer, she went on. “I know how it feels to be landed among this people because you found your mate. I know how confusing it can be, and I know that you’re probably going to handle it a lot better than I did. But I’m also going to warn you—you are not one of us. Not yet. No matter how your heart might want to see Chimera and Anima together… you aren’t trusted yet. I’m begging you: Don’t give my mate any reason to fear you.”
Tarkyn nodded, unsmiling. “I won’t.”
Sasha wasn’t nearly as confident as he seemed to be. “When we get some guards, go find your mate. You’ll be given furs and food and time. Beyond that, pray. Because it sounds like we have two days to make this happen. And I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like enough time to me.”
Tarkyn blessed her, the relief in his voice apparent now that she’d said he could go back to Harth.
Sasha found herself both warmed by his obvious devotion to Harth, and nervous.
She knew how far a male would go in defense of his own mate when the bond was real. She just prayed that Tarkyn would give Zev no reason to mistrust him further, and that Zev would give Tarkyn no reason to fight.
Because Sasha knew first hand what happened to a male who saw the female he loved at risk.
After all, that was what had gotten them to this pickle in the first place.
179 Tentative Empathy~ SASHA ~Sasha chewed her lip as she swayed to keep Zan quiet for a few more minutes. He was beginning to stir and would want feeding again soon. He wasn't settling as well on the milk from the mountain goats that Jayah had recommended. Sasha prayed it was enough.But in that moment, she had a decision to make. She'd been putting it off all afternoon.There was a male in front of her that all her instincts, all her judgments measured as honest. A male of integrity. The kind of male she'd want on her side in any conflict. A male of the same uprightness as her mate, and Lhars, and SkhalThey should have been friends. She could see it, if she allowed herself: See Tarkyn right in the middle of this circle that she trusted so muchand that Zev did too.But suddenly, the vision blurred. The moment she thought of her mate, it seemed impossible to put Tarkyn among them.Even the thought felt like a betrayal of Zev who was storming around the camp like a cat whose tail had been stood on.He wouldn't appreciate the metaphor.So, what to do when her judgment conflicted with her mate's?.....It was Skhal who seemed to sense her thoughts. While the others waited, watching her, he leaned into her ear.What would you do if you weren't sharing the leadership? What if this was happening in the human world? he murmured.I'd let him be here with his mate. I'd bring him to council and see if we could all find a way through it together.Then that has to be your answer, Skhal said quietly. And even as it was a balm, Sasha's mind also filled with the arguments she knew Zev would give: Skhal was also motivated to see peace, to believe for it, even if it wasn't possible. Skhal also had a mate and a loyalty that was nudged toward this.I agree, Kyelle offered quietly, looking at each of them in turn.Lhars blew out a breath and raked his hand through his hair, glancing warily at his mate. I don't know about freedom to move around but I do think there's value in talking. Letting him approach the councils.We freed everyone else, Kyelle reminded him.Sasha frowned. What do you mean? Who else?Kyelle explained thenthey'd been keeping the Chimera closed within boundaries, just like they used to at the village for the sake of the humans. But after the freedom everyone had hoped for it had been a bad idea. Created tension and fear.When Harth disappeared, they'd realized that if they kept doing this, they were forcing people to flee. So we let them all go. We warned as many as we could when the Anima appeared. But some had already left before that. That's why our numbers she glanced at Tarkyn and swallowed. That's why we have less than left Thana. Some were really suffering about being restrained. They've scattered. We know many are still nearby. We're praying they'll come back into the tents.What about the creatures? Sasha asked quickly.We've found trails and scat, but the creatures have been avoiding us even more than they did in Thana.Sasha wasn't sure if that was a good thing or bad news. The creatures hadn't congregated with the rest of the Chimera even in Thana. That they might spread out further in this new land wasn't surprising.Then she caught Tarkyn watching her and realized he didn't look as if he was confused by this line of questioning.You know about the creatures? she asked him. He shrugged. A little. Harth explained how they were created, and what the differences are. Also about the potential for offspring between us, he said carefully. He looked uneasy. Sasha almost asked, but supposed that if she'd been told that their children might be strange, human-animal mixes, she'd probably feel uneasy too.And then it struck her She knew how Tarkyn felt. Walking into this strange people and being uncertain, but wanting to be at peace with them.In that, at least, they shared an experience. Zev would hate her for seeing it that way, but it was only true.She sighed and they all looked at her.Tarkyn if I allow you to return to Harth, will you agree to guards? Watchers? If I allow you freedom of movement with her within certain boundaries?I wouldn't have expected anything else, Tarkyn said, ducking his head for a moment, though he didn't lower his eyes. As long as I can have privacy with my mateno other males hands on her, or eyes on her that she doesn't chooseI'll only reach out among the people as you say is allowed. I'm not here to spread dissension, Sasha-don. Or false trust. I want to see all of us succeed and be able to rest.Sasha ached for that to be trueand for Zev to be able to believe it. Kyelle, have any of the caves been left empty by those who left?A couple of the more distant ones. One is being used for storage, but we've kept the other quietGive that cave to Tarkyn and Harth. Post guards at the mouth of it. They can join the fires for meals. And if me, Skhal, or one of you is nearby, Tarkyn is free to move around the encampment. But only when an Alpha is nearby.Tarkyn's brows rose in surprise, but he ducked his head againthis time dropping his eyes too. Thank you, he murmured.Sasha sighed again. I want this to be real, Tarkyn. I want you to be telling me the truth.I am, he said, emphatic.She nodded once. I guess we'll find out. Before he could answer, she went on. I know how it feels to be landed among this people because you found your mate. I know how confusing it can be, and I know that you're probably going to handle it a lot better than I did. But I'm also going to warn youyou are not one of us. Not yet. No matter how your heart might want to see Chimera and Anima together you aren't trusted yet. I'm begging you: Don't give my mate any reason to fear you.Tarkyn nodded, unsmiling. I won't.Sasha wasn't nearly as confident as he seemed to be. When we get some guards, go find your mate. You'll be given furs and food and time. Beyond that, pray. Because it sounds like we have two days to make this happen. And I don't know about you, but that doesn't seem like enough time to me.Tarkyn blessed her, the relief in his voice apparent now that she'd said he could go back to Harth.Sasha found herself both warmed by his obvious devotion to Harth, and nervous.She knew how far a male would go in defense of his own mate when the bond was real. She just prayed that Tarkyn would give Zev no reason to mistrust him further, and that Zev would give Tarkyn no reason to fight.Because Sasha knew first hand what happened to a male who saw the female he loved at risk.After all, that was what had gotten them to this pickle in the first place.
