Chapter 62
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62 A Certain Kind of Female
~ TARKYN ~
It occurred to Tarkyn that there was a reflection of Elreth in his mate-a strange similarity between them. And it was that odd combination of strength and innocence that El had always embodied, even when she was a child.
But even though he was amused for a moment by the parallels between them, he was equally uneasy.
Females that were too alike would either become sisters, or enemies.
He prayed the Creator would guard them against the latter.
“El,” he said, “thank you for giving this all your thoughts. Thank you for trying to understand. I know it’s hard. You won’t lose me in this. My heart hasn’t changed. It’s only expanding to make room for my mate. But it’s also showing me a great deal.
“In the past I’ve been guilty of... too narrow a view of the issues that threaten our people.” He shared a glance with Gar then, both of them remembering the ways they’d conflicted when the war with the humans was beginning, as they argued each for their different styles of leadership in training the people for combat.
Elreth raised a brow. “So you’re saying that your sudden advocacy for peace with these intruders isn’t just because of your mate?” she asked pointedly.
Tarkyn shook his head. “I’m saying I’m learning-and so are you.”
.....
But Elreth shoved the air from her nose. “Tarkyn, I just watched you be carried in here out of your mind. You attacked your own soldiers! I want you in this-I need you in this! But how can any of us trust when that’s possible? What is going to happen if we’re at Council and someone knocks into her by accident?”
Tarkyn’s heart throbbed painfully and his entire body tensed at the mental image, but he gritted his teeth. “I’m fighting that... instinct, El. I was taken by surprise. I didn’t understand the depth, the acute awareness... it’s going to take some time to adjust. But just as I don’t fly to aggression every time a soldier stumbles into me, I’m sure the day will come that I can feel her and not fly to attack.”
“Your confidence is reassuring,” El said dryly. “But all evidence right now points to a Captain who is at best fighting battles on two fronts, and at worst is torn between two loyalties.”
Best
“You know,” Tarkyn shot back, “it would help if my mate didn’t feel at every moment like she was under threat herself! If she could relax and speak her mind, move about, without being treated like an enemy!”
“You want me to treat her like an ally when she has done nothing to prove that she won’t undermine us!”
“No, Elreth, I want you to trust me and my judgment to weigh the risk. I don’t expect you to know or understand her like I do-but I do expect you to understand that a mate has unique insight. I know you’ve lived that-remember again what it was like when you and Gar both found your mates! You said it yourself, there was great resistance!”
“Of course, but we had to walk through those things-”
“Your mate wasn’t being physically harmed! He wasn’t being imprisoned-”
Gar coughed and Tarkyn snapped his mouth shut, but he glared at his friend. “Even Rika was given into your care,” he said tightly.
Gar nodded, and Rika put a hand to his back, her eyes serious. But when the Queen’s brother spoke, it was with the gravity that his father used too and for a moment the similarities between Gar and the former King stole Tarkyn’s breath.
“I understand your battle better than any other, I think, brother. All I can say is, keep walking the faithful path. My sister doesn’t lack wisdom.” Then he ruined the somber tone by grinning. “Not often, anyway.”
Aaryn coughed behind his hand as Elreth arched a brow. “Well, thank you so much, Gar,” she drawled.
The moment of levity was a balm to Tarkyn-a return to their normal, even if only for a moment. But Gar’s grin faded quickly and Elreth turned back to Tarkyn, serious again.
“Your point is taken,” she said quietly. “But just as we had to in the past, you’re going to have... walk through this Tark. I don’t like it. I don’t like it for you, and I don’t like it for us. But I can’t deny the truth of what you’ve said. It’s happened for a reason, and her appearance at this time is no accident. So... I will give you the honesty you’re giving me: I want your advice. I want your power. I want your insight. But I will measure everything you say. I will test it. And if you want to keep peace between us, if both of you want to gain real freedom for Harth, you will need to be patient with me in that.”
Harth stiffened, but Tarkyn squeezed her side. This was a concession from Elreth who always leaned into control and aggression when she was afraid. If she was willing to give any amount of freedom, it would help them.
“We will,” he said with a glance at Harth whose expression was concerned. “Thank you.”
Then Elreth looked at Harth and Tarkyn held his breath.
Harth blinked a couple of times, then jutted out her chin. “I can understand being... wary of me,” she admitted finally. “But imprisoning? Tormenting my Alpha? If Tarkyn’s talk of all of you-of your good and loyal hearts-is true. I find it hard to believe that you would sit idly by and watch that happen without wanting to stop it. Or soothe it.”
Elreth rolled her jaw. “I have freed your Alpha from his bonds and provided him with as much space as the state of their family will allow. Overnight we’ve kept guards out of the tree and given healers. Today or tomorrow we’ll attempt talks again. But I would turn your very logic back on you, Harth-consider if I had shown up in your land, almost killed your King and his guards... consider what might have happened, and how I might have been regarded in the wake of that.”
There was an uncomfortable back and forth, but Tarkyn sent to Harth over and over again that this was good, that the Queen was softening, that this was their first step towards peace, and that he would continue to nudge her and the others toward that, until Harth took a breath and relaxed into his side.
Then finally, they all took a breath and discussion turned to filling Tarkyn in on the state of the Anima and his soldiers. And a part of him released, breathing more easily as they finally entered territory in which he knew he could prove that he was still the male they’d all known.
And hopefully, prove to his mate, also, that he would not let her, or her people down.
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62 A Certain Kind of Female
~ TARKYN ~
It occurred to Tarkyn that there was a reflection of Elreth in his mate-a strange similarity between them. And it was that odd combination of strength and innocence that El had always embodied, even when she was a child.
But even though he was amused for a moment by the parallels between them, he was equally uneasy.
Females that were too alike would either become sisters, or enemies.
He prayed the Creator would guard them against the latter.
“El,” he said, “thank you for giving this all your thoughts. Thank you for trying to understand. I know it’s hard. You won’t lose me in this. My heart hasn’t changed. It’s only expanding to make room for my mate. But it’s also showing me a great deal.
“In the past I’ve been guilty of... too narrow a view of the issues that threaten our people.” He shared a glance with Gar then, both of them remembering the ways they’d conflicted when the war with the humans was beginning, as they argued each for their different styles of leadership in training the people for combat.
Elreth raised a brow. “So you’re saying that your sudden advocacy for peace with these intruders isn’t just because of your mate?” she asked pointedly.
Tarkyn shook his head. “I’m saying I’m learning-and so are you.”
.....
But Elreth shoved the air from her nose. “Tarkyn, I just watched you be carried in here out of your mind. You attacked your own soldiers! I want you in this-I need you in this! But how can any of us trust when that’s possible? What is going to happen if we’re at Council and someone knocks into her by accident?”
Tarkyn’s heart throbbed painfully and his entire body tensed at the mental image, but he gritted his teeth. “I’m fighting that... instinct, El. I was taken by surprise. I didn’t understand the depth, the acute awareness... it’s going to take some time to adjust. But just as I don’t fly to aggression every time a soldier stumbles into me, I’m sure the day will come that I can feel her and not fly to attack.”
“Your confidence is reassuring,” El said dryly. “But all evidence right now points to a Captain who is at best fighting battles on two fronts, and at worst is torn between two loyalties.”
Best
“You know,” Tarkyn shot back, “it would help if my mate didn’t feel at every moment like she was under threat herself! If she could relax and speak her mind, move about, without being treated like an enemy!”
“You want me to treat her like an ally when she has done nothing to prove that she won’t undermine us!”
“No, Elreth, I want you to trust me and my judgment to weigh the risk. I don’t expect you to know or understand her like I do-but I do expect you to understand that a mate has unique insight. I know you’ve lived that-remember again what it was like when you and Gar both found your mates! You said it yourself, there was great resistance!”
“Of course, but we had to walk through those things-”
“Your mate wasn’t being physically harmed! He wasn’t being imprisoned-”
Gar coughed and Tarkyn snapped his mouth shut, but he glared at his friend. “Even Rika was given into your care,” he said tightly.
Gar nodded, and Rika put a hand to his back, her eyes serious. But when the Queen’s brother spoke, it was with the gravity that his father used too and for a moment the similarities between Gar and the former King stole Tarkyn’s breath.
“I understand your battle better than any other, I think, brother. All I can say is, keep walking the faithful path. My sister doesn’t lack wisdom.” Then he ruined the somber tone by grinning. “Not often, anyway.”
Aaryn coughed behind his hand as Elreth arched a brow. “Well, thank you so much, Gar,” she drawled.
The moment of levity was a balm to Tarkyn-a return to their normal, even if only for a moment. But Gar’s grin faded quickly and Elreth turned back to Tarkyn, serious again.
“Your point is taken,” she said quietly. “But just as we had to in the past, you’re going to have... walk through this Tark. I don’t like it. I don’t like it for you, and I don’t like it for us. But I can’t deny the truth of what you’ve said. It’s happened for a reason, and her appearance at this time is no accident. So... I will give you the honesty you’re giving me: I want your advice. I want your power. I want your insight. But I will measure everything you say. I will test it. And if you want to keep peace between us, if both of you want to gain real freedom for Harth, you will need to be patient with me in that.”
Harth stiffened, but Tarkyn squeezed her side. This was a concession from Elreth who always leaned into control and aggression when she was afraid. If she was willing to give any amount of freedom, it would help them.
“We will,” he said with a glance at Harth whose expression was concerned. “Thank you.”
Then Elreth looked at Harth and Tarkyn held his breath.
Harth blinked a couple of times, then jutted out her chin. “I can understand being... wary of me,” she admitted finally. “But imprisoning? Tormenting my Alpha? If Tarkyn’s talk of all of you-of your good and loyal hearts-is true. I find it hard to believe that you would sit idly by and watch that happen without wanting to stop it. Or soothe it.”
Elreth rolled her jaw. “I have freed your Alpha from his bonds and provided him with as much space as the state of their family will allow. Overnight we’ve kept guards out of the tree and given healers. Today or tomorrow we’ll attempt talks again. But I would turn your very logic back on you, Harth-consider if I had shown up in your land, almost killed your King and his guards... consider what might have happened, and how I might have been regarded in the wake of that.”
There was an uncomfortable back and forth, but Tarkyn sent to Harth over and over again that this was good, that the Queen was softening, that this was their first step towards peace, and that he would continue to nudge her and the others toward that, until Harth took a breath and relaxed into his side.
Then finally, they all took a breath and discussion turned to filling Tarkyn in on the state of the Anima and his soldiers. And a part of him released, breathing more easily as they finally entered territory in which he knew he could prove that he was still the male they’d all known.
And hopefully, prove to his mate, also, that he would not let her, or her people down.
62 A Certain Kind of Female~ TARKYN ~It occurred to Tarkyn that there was a reflection of Elreth in his mate-a strange similarity between them. And it was that odd combination of strength and innocence that El had always embodied, even when she was a child.But even though he was amused for a moment by the parallels between them, he was equally uneasy.Females that were too alike would either become sisters, or enemies.He prayed the Creator would guard them against the latter.El, he said, thank you for giving this all your thoughts. Thank you for trying to understand. I know it's hard. You won't lose me in this. My heart hasn't changed. It's only expanding to make room for my mate. But it's also showing me a great deal.In the past I've been guilty of... too narrow a view of the issues that threaten our people. He shared a glance with Gar then, both of them remembering the ways they'd conflicted when the war with the humans was beginning, as they argued each for their different styles of leadership in training the people for combat.Elreth raised a brow. So you're saying that your sudden advocacy for peace with these intruders isn't just because of your mate? she asked pointedly.Tarkyn shook his head. I'm saying I'm learning-and so are you......But Elreth shoved the air from her nose. Tarkyn, I just watched you be carried in here out of your mind. You attacked your own soldiers! I want you in this-I need you in this! But how can any of us trust when that's possible? What is going to happen if we're at Council and someone knocks into her by accident?Tarkyn's heart throbbed painfully and his entire body tensed at the mental image, but he gritted his teeth. I'm fighting that... instinct, El. I was taken by surprise. I didn't understand the depth, the acute awareness... it's going to take some time to adjust. But just as I don't fly to aggression every time a soldier stumbles into me, I'm sure the day will come that I can feel her and not fly to attack.Your confidence is reassuring, El said dryly. But all evidence right now points to a Captain who is at best fighting battles on two fronts, and at worst is torn between two loyalties. Best You know, Tarkyn shot back, it would help if my mate didn't feel at every moment like she was under threat herself! If she could relax and speak her mind, move about, without being treated like an enemy!You want me to treat her like an ally when she has done nothing to prove that she won't undermine us!No, Elreth, I want you to trust me and my judgment to weigh the risk. I don't expect you to know or understand her like I do-but I do expect you to understand that a mate has unique insight. I know you've lived that-remember again what it was like when you and Gar both found your mates! You said it yourself, there was great resistance!Of course, but we had to walk through those things-Your mate wasn't being physically harmed! He wasn't being imprisoned-Gar coughed and Tarkyn snapped his mouth shut, but he glared at his friend. Even Rika was given into your care, he said tightly.Gar nodded, and Rika put a hand to his back, her eyes serious. But when the Queen's brother spoke, it was with the gravity that his father used too and for a moment the similarities between Gar and the former King stole Tarkyn's breath.I understand your battle better than any other, I think, brother. All I can say is, keep walking the faithful path. My sister doesn't lack wisdom. Then he ruined the somber tone by grinning. Not often, anyway.Aaryn coughed behind his hand as Elreth arched a brow. Well, thank you so much, Gar, she drawled.The moment of levity was a balm to Tarkyn-a return to their normal, even if only for a moment. But Gar's grin faded quickly and Elreth turned back to Tarkyn, serious again.Your point is taken, she said quietly. But just as we had to in the past, you're going to have... walk through this Tark. I don't like it. I don't like it for you, and I don't like it for us. But I can't deny the truth of what you've said. It's happened for a reason, and her appearance at this time is no accident. So... I will give you the honesty you're giving me: I want your advice. I want your power. I want your insight. But I will measure everything you say. I will test it. And if you want to keep peace between us, if both of you want to gain real freedom for Harth, you will need to be patient with me in that.Harth stiffened, but Tarkyn squeezed her side. This was a concession from Elreth who always leaned into control and aggression when she was afraid. If she was willing to give any amount of freedom, it would help them.We will, he said with a glance at Harth whose expression was concerned. Thank you.Then Elreth looked at Harth and Tarkyn held his breath.Harth blinked a couple of times, then jutted out her chin. I can understand being... wary of me, she admitted finally. But imprisoning? Tormenting my Alpha? If Tarkyn's talk of all of you-of your good and loyal hearts-is true. I find it hard to believe that you would sit idly by and watch that happen without wanting to stop it. Or soothe it.Elreth rolled her jaw. I have freed your Alpha from his bonds and provided him with as much space as the state of their family will allow. Overnight we've kept guards out of the tree and given healers. Today or tomorrow we'll attempt talks again. But I would turn your very logic back on you, Harth-consider if I had shown up in your land, almost killed your King and his guards... consider what might have happened, and how I might have been regarded in the wake of that.There was an uncomfortable back and forth, but Tarkyn sent to Harth over and over again that this was good, that the Queen was softening, that this was their first step towards peace, and that he would continue to nudge her and the others toward that, until Harth took a breath and relaxed into his side.Then finally, they all took a breath and discussion turned to filling Tarkyn in on the state of the Anima and his soldiers. And a part of him released, breathing more easily as they finally entered territory in which he knew he could prove that he was still the male they'd all known.And hopefully, prove to his mate, also, that he would not let her, or her people down.
