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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 31

Published at 18th of July 2022 06:34:23 AM


Chapter 31

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Another half an hour later…

“I feel that my thoughts are drifting further and further away. My body is also light. Can I take the third step now?” Hasegawa asked.

“It’s not enough! Stand on one leg and continue!”

“Yes!” Hasegawa said as he lift one of his legs and continued to stand.

However, at this time, the Yorozuya people met with the [Hyakka] that Tsukuyo brought along in the park…

The two groups of people were speechless as they looked at Kawaki who was constantly reprimanding Hasegawa.

“What are you doing! Bastard!” Tsukuyo was the first to throw out several Kunai.

“Ah, isn’t this Tsukuyo? Why is she here?” Kawaki got up and said as he pulled out the Kunai stuck in his forehead.

“Why are you asking? You must be an idiot! You must be an absolute idiot! Why don’t you go back to Yoshiwara and do such a boring thing here?!” Gintoki kicked Kawaki over and said while stepping on him, “It was just a play, but you actually take it to this extent! You must be an idiot! An absolute idiot! Can you hurry back and don’t cause trouble for others!”

“What is a boring thing! Helping someone who has lost everything but only has the freedom to find the true meaning of life is a boring thing?!” Kawaki said and was ready to start a long speech, but Tsukuyo did not give him the chance. She directly ordered the security guards to drag the bruised Kawaki away.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Kawaki quickly shouted, but he could not break free from the security uncle. In the end, Kawaki could only shout at Hasegawa, “The last step, throw away your sunglasses, and you can feel true freedom! Come on! Even my freedom is handed over to you! Madao!”

Then there was no more. Kawaki was dragged to the ground by the security guard followed by Yoshiwara’s group further and further, leaving only a long trail of blood on the ground…

“That, speaking of which. The person who lost his freedom is teaching the person who has freedom what freedom is. Is this really okay?!” Shinpachi was speechless.

“Um… can I take the third step now? I feel that my consciousness is free, as if I saw a river, that…” Hasegawa couldn’t help but say at this time.

“No, you will really be free next. Maybe you can choose the next life freely.” Shinpachi didn’t know what to say as he looked at Hasegawa, who was still standing there like a golden chicken.

At night, Hasegawa was discovered by a kind-hearted passerby and sent to the hospital…

Back to Yoshiwara, Kawaki also caught a cold from the rain for half a day…

Three days later…

“Ah? Training for Sadaharu? Why?” Kawaki looked at Gintoki and Shinpachi in front of him and asked.

“That… Actually, I saw a pets competition. So I wanted to… But Sadaharu didn’t listen to us at all. Even if Kagura-chan was in command, both of us were still injured…” Shinpachi said awkwardly.

However, just as he finished speaking, Kawaki had already sent the two of them out of the door and closed it, “I’m sorry. I just got better from the cold. I don’t want to participate in any outdoor activities for the time being.”

“Wait! The prizes for participating in the competition can be divided into half! Perhaps I can give you the latest FPS game!” Gintoki shouted as he knocked on the door.

Just as he finished shouting, Kawaki had already opened the door and stood in front of the two of them, “Then hurry up and move!” As he spoke, he pulled the two of them out.

“Alright, it should be the latest limited edition Half-Life commemorative edition,” Kawaki said as he walked.

“That? Isn’t that something you can’t buy even if you have money?!” Just as Shinpachi finished speaking, Gintoki covered his mouth.

“No problem! Absolutely no problem at all!” Gintoki said.

“We agreed!”



In the park, Gintoki and Shinpachi were speechless as they looked at Sadaharu, who was trained to the point where his every move was extremely standard.

Meanwhile, Kagura was clapping happily from the side, constantly encouraging Sadaharu.

“Sure enough, Sadaharu behaved so obediently when faced with Kawaki-san,” Shinpachi said helplessly.

“If that’s the case, we definitely won’t fail this competition! The championship will definitely be ours! The luxurious prize will be ours!” Gintoki snickered.

“No, what about the FPS game that you promised to Kawaki-san? You definitely won’t be able to get it, right? You definitely won’t be able to get it, right? How are you going to explain it afterward?”

However, Gintoki had an indifferent expression on his face, “Don’t worry. When the time comes, we can use Contra or something to fool him. At worst, we can buy a little overlord learning machine in the second-hand market.”

“Those are definitely two kinds of things! Absolutely not!”

“Ah? What’s wrong? Isn’t an FPS game just a game with guns? There is no difference at all.”

“Hey! Apologize to all FPS game players! Apologize to all the FPS game players in the world! No, not an apology. Cut your stomach! You bastard!” Shinpachi couldn’t help but complain.

However, just as he finished speaking, Katsura and Elizabeth appeared behind Shinpachi and Gintoki.

“Hey, what are you guys doing?” Katsura looked at Kawaki, who was training Sadaharu not far away and asked Gintoki and Shinpachi in confusion.

“What? So it’s Zura.” Gintoki turned around and said.

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura.” Katsura continued, “I said, I’m asking you what exactly are you doing?”

“Don’t you understand after seeing it?” Kagura said as she walked toward Katsura, “We are teaching Sadaharu skills.”

“Oh, I see.” Katsura nodded and said.

At this time, Kawaki also walked over and said to Sadaharu who had been scolded by him for a long time, “Now, go play with your silver-haired naturally wavy hair owner.”

After saying that, Sadaharu instantly rushed to Gintoki and put Gintoki’s head in his mouth.

“What a good relationship. It seems that Sadaharu really likes you, Gintoki.” Kawaki sighed with emotion. But the next moment, he saw Katsura beside him, “So it’s Zura. What are you doing here?”

“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” Katsura said, “Just like you guys, I brought a pet to the park for a walk.”

It was only then that Kawaki noticed the sleeping creature beside Katsura, “What is this”

“It’s not this, it’s Elizabeth!” Katsura corrected him seriously.

“It feels so disgusted,” Kawaki complained.

“It was that idiot Sakamoto who forced it on me a few days ago. He most likely picked it up from another planet. He seems to still be obsessed with his universe navigation as always…” Katsura explained.

“Sakamoto? Ah, that Loud Fellow? It’s been a long time since we last met, and he’s still alive. It’s really incredible.” Kawaki sighed, “But, don’t you hate living things outside of Earth?”

“How can I hate things that can’t even think?” Katsura retorted, “And… don’t you think it’s cute?”

After saying that, Kawaki was instantly petrified. After a while, he came to Elizabeth’s side and looked left and right.

“I don’t see anything cute, but why does Elizabeth have the stench of a middle-aged uncle?” Kawaki looked at Katsura and asked.

At the same time, Kagura also came over. After smelling it, she also looked at Katsura, “It really is-aru! There really is the stench of a middle-aged man! It is exactly the same as the stench of the bald daddy!”

“What nonsense are you talking about! This is Elizabeth’s stench! It is exactly the same as a dog’s stench!” Katsura retorted again, “Although it smells like an uncle, this is Elizabeth’s stench!”

At this time, Gintoki finally broke free from Sadaharu’s mouth, but his face was already covered in blood.

“It’s impossible for Gintoki to train this dog by himself. As expected, did he ask you for help?” Katsura looked at Sadaharu and Kawaki again and said.

“I don’t know. It’s just that Gintoki said he wanted to participate in some pet competition. If he gets first place, he will give me the latest FPS game. It’s just a simple deal.” Kawaki replied.

“Moreover, Sadaharu will be on TV this time~” Kagura touched Sadaharu beside her and said at the same time.

“He is undergoing special training for this!” Gintoki said, “Of course, it has nothing to do with a wanted prisoner like you.”

“Hey, you didn’t tell me about the TV show!” Kawaki looked at Gintoki with disdain and said.

“What does it matter? As long as I get first place, I can give you any game! I swear!” Gintoki raised his hand and said.

“Really?” Kawaki still couldn’t believe it.

“Really!” Gintoki covered Shinpachi’s mouth and said at the same time.

“If you dare to go back on your word…” Kawaki revealed a fierce expression as he spoke, and even Sadaharu who was at the side was shocked.

“How is this possible? I definitely won’t go back on my word!” Gintoki guaranteed once more.

“Then, let’s train again! Sadaharu, practice jumping into the air and spin 720 degrees to the ground. One less degree won’t do!” Kawaki said as he dragged the shivering Sadaharu away…

“What the hell is spinning 720 degrees in the air?! Is there such training?! What exactly is the purpose of this training?! Are you going to dive!!”Shinpachi complained.

On the other hand, Katsura, who had been ignored stood on the spot deep in thought…

Finally, the day of the competition arrived.

Kawaki, Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi brought Sadaharu to the competition site of the 1st Annual Weird Cosmic Pet Grand Prix!

“This is a cosmic creature from Kabukicho, Sadaharu-kun and its owner, the Sakata family!” With the introduction of the host, Kawaki, the four people, and Sadaharu officially stepped onto the stage.

“The last winning team will get the right to challenge the champion of the previous year the Mask de Meow family and their pet, MISS GARTER BELT!”

Just as the host finished speaking, a sea lion humanoid creature with a glass of red wine appeared on the big screen in front of Kawaki and the others.

It must be the champion that the host mentioned.

“Bring it on!” The sea lion humanoid creature shouted, and at the same time, his pet also howled. What made Kawaki speechless was that his pet was also a sea lion…




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