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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 37

Published at 18th of July 2022 06:34:14 AM


Chapter 37

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“What is it?!” Kawaki was sitting in a restaurant, stuffing food into his mouth as he shouted, “What the hell is that?!”

The matter started this morning. Originally, Kawaki was happy to get up this morning and play with his newly bought game. However, when he got up, he found that there was a lace panty placed in front of his bed. Kawaki picked it up curiously, but this scene was seen by Tsukuyo and Seita who pushed the door open and entered…

Thinking of the looks of Tsukuyo and Seita as if they were looking at a scum, and no matter how Kawaki explains. They both still had that kind of look. Even when walking on Yoshiwara street, Kawaki felt that passers-by were looking at him with the same gaze…

“How could I be that kind of person!” Kawaki stood up and shouted. Everyone in the restaurant was shocked. Then Kawaki continued to sit down and vent his anger on the hill-like food in front of him. Kawaki did not notice the Yorozuya group on the table next to him…

“What, what’s going on?” Shinpachi looked at Kawaki who was sitting at the table and asked Gintoki with a black face.

“Who knows?” Gintoki continued to eat his parfait.

“So much food. I now understand why Gin-san said that Kawaki-san’s stomach is a different dimension…” Shinpachi lamented, but then he came back to his senses, “Ah! It doesn’t seem like this is what we came out with today. Right! It’s about the underwear thief!”

However, Otae pressed Shinpachi’s head onto the table. “You’re in the way! I wonder if Kawaki-san likes fried eggs…”

“It’s probably not about whether he likes it or not…” Shinpachi complained in a low voice, “If it’s your fried egg, he can’t swallow it no matter what, right?”

“Shin-chan, what did you say?” Otae looked at Shinpachi with a smile.

“Nothing, nothing,” Shinpachi hurriedly replied, “Speaking of which, Kawaki-san seems to like Chinese food and doesn’t like fishy food. Hey! We seem to be here to discuss the underwear thief!”

“Don’t look down on fried eggs! Isn’t fried eggs Chinese food?! Even Chinese people eat fried eggs!” Otae gave Shinpachi another smack on the head.

“Well, if there is nothing else, we will leave first…” Gintoki raised his hand and said. At this time, the food in front of Gintoki and Kagura had been finished.

“Wait, wipe your mouth before you leave. What is the difference between you and those men who don’t recognize people after putting on their pants?” Otae said with a smile, but it made Gintoki shudder.

“Haha, what are you talking about? Then, what exactly is it?” Gintoki said with a laugh.

“In fact, it is an underwear thief. During the time I lived in Yorozuya, my sister’s underwear was stolen twice. Do you have any good countermeasures?” Shinpachi said helplessly.

“Mmmm, underwear thief,” Gintoki said with his chin propped up, “I heard that people in the past never wore panties under kimonos, whether it was a little girl, a girl, or a little princess. ”

“What’s the difference between what you said?” Shinpachi once again said helplessly, “Even if you list it, say something like [Grandma], [Auntie], [Girl].”

“Idiot! Only girls are allowed to talk about topics like [Panty] [No Panty]. ” Gintoki said righteously.

“Well, the only one who can talk about [Panty] is uncle-aru.” Kagura added.

“Are you kidding me?! ” Shinpachi was a little surprised.

“I can’t talk about the panty either,” Gintoki added.

“How can anyone talk about this nowadays?” Shinpachi complained.

“The worst one is that [T-BACK]. That thing took away a girl’s shyness and also took away a boy’s pleasure.” Gintoki crossed his arms and said.

“I have Aru.” Kagura interrupted.

Hearing this, Gintoki and Shinpachi were in disbelief.

“What nonsense are you talking about? Are you lying?” Gintoki said to Kagura.

“I’m not lying. I have a pair of panties that have been worn for too many years. It has been worn so long that only the straps are left.” Kagura replied seriously.

“What kind of underwear is that?” The corners of Shinpachi’s eyes twitched.

“In a sense, it is also a vintage(antique) panties-aru,” Kagura replied.

“It’s a worthless antique. Quickly throw it away.” Gintoki waved his hand and said, “In the end, the ancient people don’t need it. No one wears it. I really envy the ancient people.” As he spoke, Gintoki revealed a look of yearning, “Like a Princess, you are not elegant at all under your clothes. This contrast is actually good. You have a virtuous face, but you are bold and unrestrained like fire, full of passion…”

However, Otae did not give Gintoki a chance to finish sighing. A fist smashed into Gintoki’s face, “I am not interested in listening to your little panty theory! My favorite lucky panty was stolen. My soul is dull!” After saying that, Otae glanced at Kawaki who was wolfing down the food on the table next to them again. She found that their appearance was not seen just now. She could not help but heave a sigh of relief and sit down again.

“The favorite lucky panty… Then who are you going to fight with it, big sister?” Gintoki said as he covered his nose with a napkin.

“Boy, listen carefully. At certain times and occasions, you can rely on one book to win! Don’t underestimate it.” Otae snorted and replied.

“Then what do you want me to do? To take back the winning magic treasure? Can you vent your anger after taking it back?” Gintoki asked carefully.

“Take back my panty and slaughter that thief to use his blood as a sacrifice,” Otae said with a smile.

“Hey, don’t say such ruthless words with such a refreshing expression! Sister!” Shinpachi reminded.

“The underwear thief is the public enemy of women-aru! Big Sister, let me give you a hand!” Kagura interrupted.

“Kagura-chan…” Otae stood up and said, “Well said. Come with me and let us sisters work together to kill him!” After that, Otae and Kagura walked out.

Otae also greeted Kawaki who was at the table next to them. However, Kawaki did not pay attention to it at all. He just felt that someone seemed to have greeted him. He did not raise his head and just said yes. While Kagura took a pile of food from Kawaki’s table.

“Wait a minute, you’re going to cause death!” Shinpachi shouted to stop him, but it was too late. The two had already walked out of the store, “This is bad. The most brutal combination is formed. What should we do now? Gin-san.”

“It doesn’t matter, isn’t the prisoners here?” Gintoki said as he pointed to the bottom of the table.

Shinpachi looked over and saw Kondo curled up under the table.

“It can’t be?!” Just as Shinpachi was about to speak, he was interrupted by Kondo.

“Bastard! Are you suspecting me” Kondo shouted, “I am Samurai! How could I do such a despicable thing like stealing underwear!”

“Who in the world is Samurai as a stalker?” Gintoki said as he walked to Kawaki’s table and sat down.

“Even if I am a stalker, I will never steal underwear!” Kondo climbed out of the table and retorted, “Be careful, I will sue you!”

“Now we are going to sue you, you bastard,” Shinpachi said.

“This time, Shinsengumi is going to be disbanded. Ah, it’s a really happy thing.” Gintoki said as he picked up the sweet food on Kawaki’s table and began to eat.

“Wait, look at this first.” Kondo hurriedly took out a newspaper and handed it to Shinpachi.

“Ah, what is this?” Shinpachi opened the newspaper, “Masked Loincloth Bandit Strikes Again.”

“Recently, the bastard thief who caused a ruckus in the street was dressed up as strange as his name. He covered his face with a bright red loincloth and runs through the darkness in his briefs. He stole the panties of beautiful girls everywhere and then distributed them to the men who no one loved… He was a very strange guy…” Just as Kondo finished speaking, Kawaki could no longer sit still.

“Hey, is what you gorilla just said true?” Kawaki tugged at Kondo’s collar with a scary smile on his face.

“… Sigh, could it be that Kawaki-san also…” Before Shinpachi could finish, he was frightened by Kawaki’s eyes.

“That guy, I will definitely kill him!” Kawaki said with a gloomy smile on his face, “Not only did he ruin my innocence, but he also insulted me! I will definitely kill him! Even if Edo is razed to the ground, I will still kill him, hahaha.”

“Hey, Gin-san, it seems that things are getting less and less urgent. Hurry up and say a few words.” Shinpachi was just about to turn around when he saw Gintoki take out a panty from his pocket.

“I see. This panty actually has this layer of meaning.” Gintoki said to himself, “I thought it was a gift from Santa.”

“So you also received it!” Shinpachi was speechless, “Besides, how can there be Santa Claus at this time?”

“You two, have you both received it? Hahaha, that’s a medal to prove that no one loves you!” Kondo laughed after saying that, but he was scared to stop for a moment by Kawaki, who was bursting with a special aura.

“What did you say? You gorilla? Do you want to go to hell so much? Do you want to reincarnate so much? Huh?” Kawaki’s eyes emitted a fierce light, just like a wild beast.

“Nothing. Actually, I also received it.” As Kondo spoke, he took out a panty from his chest and knelt down while looking at Kawaki. “Please don’t eat me! The gorilla’s meat is not delicious!”

“Hey, you two, since everyone has the same encounter, then… why don’t we kill him together!” Kawaki helped Kondo up and said, but his face was still filled with a sinister smile.

“Kill… kill some…” Before Kondo could finish, he was once again frightened by Kawaki’s gaze.

“What about you? Gintoki?”

“Hmph, it’s just a pervert, pretending to be a righteous thief,” Gintoki said while tearing up the panties in his hand, “Why do you think this uncle is unloved, that bastard!”

“Then, let’s kill him together,” Kawaki said as he dragged Kondo and Gintoki to the door. When they reached the counter, Kawaki did not forget to pay the bill.

“Wait, actually, I have a plan to say…” Gintoki said…




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