Chapter 148 - The Thunder God’s Temple III
“I ain’t telling.”
The scyph grunted the rejection with a racially uncharacteristic certainty as he struggled to break free of his bindings. It was already his seventh refusal. Each had come with a deep laceration to the bell, but violence had done little to encourage a change in attitude. He stayed tight-lipped, no matter how many times he was struck by his tormentor’s blade.
Still, the catgirl repeated her pattern of attack. She slashed at him again with her rapier’s edge, goring him and spilling a thick, slimy liquid. Though transparent, the blood was so viscous that it clumped before hitting the ground. “Stop being stubborn. Vik Sinnue is dead. You gain nothing from guarding his treasure.”
“You may be right.” The scyph laughed like a pirate as he brought his tentacles to the rope holding his bell in place, but his limbs were swatted away before he could yank the knots out of shape.
“Natalya.” Claire pushed the incompetent interrogator out of the way with a pointed branch as she stepped forward to take her place. “Let me.”
“Please call me Lia.”
“No.”
“Why not? I’m asking nicely.” The catgirl twisted her lips into a frown as she crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.
“Because I said so.”
“Could you please at least give me a reason?”
“No.”
“See! I told you she was stubborn!” Sylvia giggled as she looked between the lyrkress and her latest victim. “You know, she’s actually gotten a lot better now. She was super prickly when we met. Now, she at least kinda listens. Sometimes.”
“I’m not stubborn.” Claire jabbed a finger into the side of the fox’s cheek and slowly pushed her off her head. “I’m very reasonable.”
“Then call me something else, please.”
“Why?”
“Well… You see…” Natalya pursed her lips as she put her hands behind her back and looked away. She took a deep breath, then another, and another before finally turning back towards the inquisitor and opening her mouth. “The thing is… I’m trying to lie low.”
“Then pick a better alias,” said Claire. She was almost tempted to bring a hand to her face and sigh. “Idiot.”
“It’s different enough,” said Natalya.
“No. It isn’t.” The lyrkress prodded the cat in the face with her stick. “It sounds like a nickname. They’ll have no trouble finding you. You’ll be executed in a heartbeat.”
“E-executed?” The warrior took half a step back, nearly tripping over her own feet in the process. “Why would I be executed!?”
“That’s what armies do to deserters. Desertion is treason.”
“Where the heck did you get that idea!? Deserters never get executed unless they start working for the enemy! Not even Cadrians are that barbaric!” she shouted. “And how did you know I was a deserter!?”
“Why else would a soldier want to lie low?” Again, the cat was abused by the stick. “And Cadrians aren’t barbaric.”
Natalya scratched the back of her head. “I admit that the first part seems pretty reasonable, but Cadrians are definitely barbaric.”
“Oh wait, Claire! I think I figured it out” chirped Sylvia. “She’s not a deserter! She’s a spy on a secret mission!”
“Impossible.” It took only a fraction of a second for the fox’s theory to be rejected.
“A-are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“W-what makes you say that?” asked Natalya. “For all you know, I could be Paunse’s best secret agent.”
“Secret agents aren’t stupid.”
“Hah! Looks like I ain’t the only one that was thinking you was maybe a dumbass.” The tree-bound bandit wheezed as the brunette’s jaw dropped like a rock. “Maybe fix yourself before asking me for shit.”
“Shut up,” said Claire, as she broke her stick on his dome.
“Yes, ma’am.”
After glaring at the scyph, and sending a chill down his nonexistent spine, the lyrkress turned to the furball on her shoulder and gave her chin a scratch. “Why do you even know what spies are? Wasn’t Darkwood Hollow the only place you ever lived?”
“Because I’m super smart, duh!” The fox stood up on her hind legs, put her front paws on her hips, and puffed out her chest.
“I know. Now tell me the real reason.”
“Why does it feel kinda like you’re making fun of me even though you’re agreeing?”
“No reason.”
“Uh huh…” Sylvia narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but continued along nonetheless. “Well uhmm… anyway, I read about it in one of Al’s books. There was this one about this super cool guy with all these secret gadgets and stuff.”
“I thought his books would all be like Shblbbhsh and Clkclkc.”
“Oh uhmmm… they kinda are. There were a few weird parts here and there, but it wasn’t that bad!”
“I don’t know why I assumed otherwise.” Rolling her eyes, the half-snake picked another stick off the ground with her tail and tested its flexibility before passing it to her hands and pointing it at the catgirl.
“I’m calling you by your name. It’s common enough. And it won’t get you killed.”
“Please don’t!” shouted the catgirl. “They might not kill me, but they’ll fine me for everything I’m worth and then some!”
“I don’t care.”
“Well you should! I won’t be able to pay for your lodgings if I’m up to my neck in debt!” The catgirl paused for a moment to breathe; screaming at the top of her lungs had left her completely out of breath. “J-just… think about it this way. We’ll have to sleep in the same room if our party’s finances collapse.”
The rogue pulled her hood over her eyes and allowed a small frown to surface. No answer was given until she turned away. “...Fine.”
Natalya—Lia—breathed a small sigh of relief, but she wasn’t the first to react. Sylvia began shouting before she could offer her thanks. “Woah… you actually managed to get her to give up again!?” cried the fox. “What the heck, Claire! You never listen to me! How come you’re listening to her!? This better not be because Al’s starting to get to you!”
“He isn’t,” said the lyrkress. “I’m being rational. I don’t want any perverts near me while I sleep.”
“Oh… good point. I guess it would be kinda unsafe, huh?” said the fox.
“Why do the two of you keep insisting that I’m a pervert?” asked Lia. Her words were as devoid of energy as her slumped shoulders.
The sad, tired question was followed by a moment of silence. “Because you are.” Having exchanged a quick glance, the two halfbreeds spoke in perfect unison.
“I am not!”
“You wanted me to eat you,” said Claire.
“N-no I didn’t.” Lia’s cheeks flushed a deep shade of red as she brought her hands together and twiddled her thumbs. “Well… maybe I did. Just a little. I mean, it doesn’t really seem like all that bad of an idea… wait! What are you making me say!?”
“See? Pervert.” She pulled her ears into her hood, covered her chest with her arms, and turned away.
“It’s okay Lia!” Sylvia hopped over to the catgirl’s shoulder and patted her on the back. “It’s not your fault.”
“I’m not a pervert. It was just one time. This is all a misunderstanding…” She continued shooting glances in Claire’s direction as she spoke. Her blush deepened each time she did, and she started to fidget, rubbing her knees together and moving her shoulders almost uncontrollably.
Log Entry 5402
Charm Catgirl has reached level 14.
“Stop looking at me.” Claire prodded the catgirl with her second stick and forced her to face another direction. Only after she was sure she was safe did she return her gaze to the scyph. The bandit was silent. He had been trying to make himself scarce ever since she first snapped at him, in hopes that he would be forgotten, but to no avail.
Inspecting him more carefully, she found that he was still perfectly healthy. Half the cuts that marred his bell were already healed, and those that remained were closing themselves up at a visible rate. His vitality was abnormally high. Damaging him was unlikely to elicit a response, unless said damage was psychological, permanent, or both.
“Nata—” Cutting herself short, she glanced over her shoulder and called for the offender in question. “Pervert.”
“I’m not a pervert.”
“Then don’t answer to it next time,” said the lyrkress. “What do scyphs hate?”
“What do they hate?” Natalya blinked. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“What do I need to do? To make him feel like he’s been dishonoured?”
“Oh… sorry, but I’m not really sure.” She scratched her head with one hand and pushed herself to her feet with the other. “It’s not something I’ve ever looked into, and to be honest I’m not sure I would tell you, even if I had.”
“And why not?” Claire narrowed her eyes.
“Because it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.”
“You were torturing him a moment ago.”
The catgirl met her gaze. “That was standard procedure. I was getting information out of him, not threatening his dignity.” Her cheeks reddened as she maintained eye contact, but she didn’t look away.
“Don’t say it.” Claire wrinkled up her nose and scowled. “I’m going to stab you.”
Log Entry 5403
Charm Catgirl has reached level 15.
The threat only changed the catgirl’s behaviour for the worse. Her blush grew deeper, and she even started to fidget.
“I hate you.” The lyrkress pulled her hood further over her eyes, grit her teeth, and slowly took a breath. She managed to do away with Alfred’s thoughts before they crowded out her own, but while her sanity survived the encounter, the stick in her hands was not as lucky. Its handle was crushed to bits, and the rest of it hardly fared any better. A crack ran all the way up its length as it fell in front of her and rolled towards the captive jellyfish.
Her eyes traced its path and eventually settled on the invertebrate, who was trembling for reasons completely unlike the ones that had the catgirl in a fluster.
“H-hey, I’m innocent, don’t take it out on me.” The shiver that ran through his spineless body was followed by a slow shake of the bell. He surely would have slowly backed away, had he not been tied to a tree.
“Shut up.”
She jabbed a finger into the side of his head and ground its tip through the thin, slippery layer of skin that protected his innards. The wound itself was negligible, hardly deep enough to mar his flesh, but the bee venom applied to her nails had him howling in agony.
“Arrgghhh! What the hell!” he shouted. “Am I burning!? What’s happening!?”
“Shut up.”
Again, he was jabbed, and again, he reacted with a violent start. His bell writhed to and fro as he desperately tried to get away from her, but alas, he was forced to suffer a third sting.
“At least make a demand, damn it!”
“You already know what we want.”
Without waiting for him to answer, she slammed the bottom of her fist into the top of his head. The blow was powerful enough to deform his cranium and leave a dent even in his elastic flesh. He didn’t have a brain to rattle, but his consciousness was taken regardless.
Claire poked him an extra two or three times to confirm that he was really out cold before turning back towards the others. “Sylvia.”
“Mhm?”
“Work your magic.”
“You want me to give him nightmares?” blinked the fox. “Well uhmmmm… okay, I guess.” She stood up on her hind legs, placed a hand against her chest, and got ready to sing.
“Not that.” A pinch to the cheek stopped the fox in her tracks. “Your other magic.”
“Huh?”
“Check his memories.”
“Oh! That’s what you meant!” Giggling, she leapt to the ground and plodded over the victim-to-be. “I forgot you knew I could do that.”
“I’m aware.” Claire pinched the critter’s cheeks and gave her nose a poke.
“Oh uhm… there’s actually a bit of a problem. I can look through his head and see what he saw and stuff, but I can’t actually read minds so I won’t know where anything is. I could probably figure it out if I knew this place as well as I know the hollow, but we’ve barely been here a week.”
“Just try.”
“Okay!” She leaned forward as she spoke and placed both paws on the jellyfish’s oversized head. “Uhmmm…. Yeah, I dunno. I can see some places and stuff, but I don’t recognize any of them.”
“Useless fox,” mumbled the lyrkress.
“What the heck! It’s not even my fault!” shouted Sylvia.
“Did you just say that you could see memories?” asked Lia, after she got back on her feet.
“Yup!” chimed the fox. “It’s a little hard to control so I can’t always see exactly what I want, but it mostly works.”
“Can you show them to other people?”
“Uhmmm… I think so, but you’ll have to sit through some night terrors and stuff.”
“N-night terrors?” The cat gulped. “Aren’t those the things that make people scream at night?”
“Yup!”
“How well do you know the area?” asked Claire.
“Well enough to get around,” said the cat.
Her face turned pale as she responded, right as a small smile appeared on the lyrkress’ lips. “Sylvia.”
“On it!” The vixen took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “Good night, Lia! And umm… I know you’re not gonna have any, but sweet dreams!”
“Wait! I haven’t agreed ye—”
The catgirl waved her arms in panic and spoke at an almost unintelligible speed, but it was too late. Her legs crumpled, and her mind was whisked away to dreamland’s worst neighbourhood. It took no more than two seconds for her to start snoring, her light brown tail swishing left and right each time she drew breath.
“Uhm… oops.” The fox blinked. Thrice.
“Too late now.” Claire smiled before turning back to the unconscious jellyfish. “While you’re at it. Can you give him some night terrors too?”
“Uhmm… sure, I guess. But why?”
“I feel like listening to you sing. It’ll help with this stupid curse.”
“Okay.” Sylvia smiled, softly, as she allowed the lyrkress to scoop her up in her arms. “One fresh batch of night terrors, coming right up!”
___
“No! Not the oven!”
Lia shrieked incomprehensibly as she violently uncurled and leapt to her feet. Her brow was dripping with sweat, her eyes were bloodshot, and her mind was still paralyzed with fear. It took the poor cat a desperate gasp and a half to realise that she had finally escaped the fabricated nightmare. Slowly, she brought a shivering hand to her chest and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank the gods... It’s finally over…”
Rubbing her eyes, she focused her vision on the oddly blue world around her. Her heart was still pounding and she was still short of breath, but she was at least calm enough to conclude that she was inside a large bubble. Claire and Sylvia were situated just outside of it, working away at a basket full of bread. She had no idea where they had acquired the food or its vessel, but neither looked to be enjoying the meal. The chimera was chewing at it with her eyes empty, and the fox was burying a half-eaten piece next to a nearby tree.
“Oh, hey Lia! You’re up!” The watery veil around her vanished as Sylvia looked up from her pit and waved. So adorable was the gesture that the catgirl almost forgot that the fox was the source of her suffering. Almost.
“Please don’t ever do that to me again!” She brought an unsteady hand to her damaged spectacles and adjusted them as she made the demand. The tentacle-faced horror unleashed upon her in her sleep was still fresh in her mind. She could still see its awful, sanity-sapping smirk, burned straight into the back of her brain.
“I’m sorry…” The fox slumped her shoulders and drooped her tail, with the latter falling all the way to the ground. “I thought you were only asking because you wanted me to show you. I didn’t mean to uhm… totally ruin your entire morning for no reason.”
“W-well, it’s not like there’s no reason,” backpedalled the cat. “The bald guy with wings and an octopus for a face was terrifying, but it told me quite a bit.”
“Do you know where the treasure is?” asked Claire.
The catgirl paused for a moment to bring a hand to her chin. “I think I know where two of them are, but I have no idea about the other five.”
“Well that’s better than me!” said Sylvia. “I don’t know where any of them are.”
“That’s okay. You did your part.” The chimera lifted the fox away from her burrow, set her down in her lap, and stroked her fuzzy coat. “You were very useful. For once.”
“Hey! That last part was totally unnecessary!”
“I know.”
“Wait a second.” Lia tilted her head as she swept her eyes over the other humanoid’s frame. Claire immediately covered her body with her hands, but the thin limbs did nothing to stop the cat from achieving her goals. “Weren’t you supposed to have a tail? Or maybe more legs?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lia frowned. “Well, I won’t pry if it’s personal, but can you at least explain what lyrkresses are?”
“No.” Claire crossed her arms. “Because I don’t know.”
“Was that supposed to be a joke?” The Paunsean cocked a brow as she took a piece of bread from the basket. Putting it to her mouth, she found herself not entirely unsatisfied. It was a little dry and stale, but better than the rations she was accustomed to.
“That’s not it. She’s only been one for like three wee—”
The fox’s mouth was pinched shut as the strange chimera breathed a tired sigh. “Don’t tell people things for no reason.”
“But it isn’t even all that important!” cried the canine.
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t private.”
“Oh… Well, congratulations on your second ascension.”
“Not second,” said Claire, after an awkward pause. “First.”
“Wait, first? But…”
“First,” repeated the lyrkress.
“Then what level are you?” Lia scrunched up her brow. “I’m just over 300, but some of my classes are a little higher.”
In any other context, it would have been a rude question to ask, but the swordswoman had posed it because she knew that their levels could not have been withheld. Going through the party-making process would allow them to see an extremely abbreviated version of each others’ status.
“Almost 250.”
The catgirl looked up from her bread and slowly swallowed the dried piece stuck in her throat. “Doesn’t that mean you’ve been gaining over fifty levels a week?”
“Maybe.”
“Wow, that’s quick. Were you blessed by Vella? Or maybe Archimess?”
The war goddess’ blessing was known to make newer fighters grow rapidly, so that they could join their predecessors on the battlefield and unpredictably turn the tides with feats of heroism beyond reason. In a similar vein, the god of mathematics and scholarly pursuits would often boost those that showed promise, so that they could further develop their fields of expertise.
“None of your business.”
With a dismissive glare, Claire stood up from her seat, turned back into a lyrkress, and walked towards the edge of the camp, where the captive scyph was starting to stir. He was moving around and groaning, but her fist slammed into his face before he could wake and sent him right back into a deep, deep slumber.
“Do we still need him, Pervert?” she asked.
Natalya tried to ignore the blatant call for her attention, but even with her eyes averted, she could feel the lyrkress’ gaze boring into the side of her skull. Eventually, the catgirl gulped, gave in, and turned back towards the fierce but empty glare. “I’m not a pervert.” Claire’s eyes were cold, but she stayed firm. “And please call me Lia.”
“Just answer the question.”
“Oh… right.” The brunette closed her eyes and pulled up the recent, traumatic memory. “I don’t think so. Let’s take him back to tow—”
She was cut off by a loud, violent squish. Like an axe, the half-moose’s leg cleaved through the side of the scyph’s head and split his body in two.
“Claire! What the heck! You got his blood all over me!” shouted Sylvia, who was still in the other girl’s arms.
“I can wash it off.” The horse extended a finger and fired a stream of water, but the fox shook her head.
“It’s okay, I’ll just clean myself with a bubble.”
“Wait, wait! Why did you just do that!?” shouted Lia.
“Because giving the experience to an executioner would be a waste.” The lyrkress sat back down without so much as cleaning off the limb and continued munching away at her meal.
“I doubt he was worth much. He was half your level at most,” she complained, “we could have traded him in and made ourselves a few extra copper pieces.”
“Slavery is outlawed in Vel’khan,” said Claire.
“The city would have taken him off our hands” explained the catgirl. “The Vel’khanese love their public executions, and even small towns can make a pretty penny off a one-criminal-show.” She acted out the motion of an overhead swing, raising both arms and bringing them down on the empty space in front of her.
“And you said Cadrians were barbaric.”
“Cadrians are barbaric,” mumbled the cat, “but enough about that. Let’s hash out a plan.”
“A plan? What for?” asked Sylvia.
“We have a lot of things to do. We have to head to one of the towns in order to register our party, shop for supplies, find the rest of their loot, figure out if we need any more party members, and a whole slew of other things.”
“Why would we need to shop for supplies?” blinked the fox.
“Well… I think I might’ve accidentally destroyed most of your equipment. I couldn’t find anything when I was looking through the fort’s ruins, so I thought to make it up to you.”
“Oh… that’s really nice of you!” said Sylvia. “But I don’t think we had anything that mattered.”
“We did,” said Claire. “Your clothes.”
“W-wait a second!” The vixen spun around and rummaged through her tail, only to turn pale soon after. “Oh crap…” She still had the dress that Claire had torn the previous evening, but none of her other elf-sized clothes were anywhere to be found.
“See?”
“I think I might not be following right…” Lia’s tail twitched as she looked between the pair. “Are you saying that Sylvia’s clothes are the only things you two had?”
“Yup!” chirped the half-elf.
“Since when do foxes wear clothes?” asked the catgirl.
“Since always,” said the furball.
“That’s not what you said last time.” Claire picked up her hat and pulled its cheeks. “Didn’t you say that wearing clothes would make you a pervert?”
“Huh?“
“Right after I blew up Borrok Peak.”
“I was talking about stockings back then, not clothes! That doesn’t count! Stockings are basically just lingerie!”
W-what about the rest of your supplies? Like your equipment, your camping gear, and your food?”
Claire blinked. “Why would we have any of that?” The question was spoken in the same perfectly flat tone as usual, but the accompanying confusion was made clear with a cock of the head.
“W-what do you mean, why!? How were the two of you adventuring without any supplies?”
Claire’s neck moved a whole two and a half degrees. “Normally.”
“Normal adventurers have supplies. How were you getting your food and water?”
“We made it with magic, duh!” said Sylvia.
“Now you’re just pulling my tail. Magic can’t just make food out of nothing.”
“Oh, come on Lia, don’t be so silly! Magic makes stuff out of mana,” said the fox, with a giggle.
“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of any schools of magic like that, but fine. What about camping gear? Don’t you need a tent, at least? Or maybe something to help start a fire?”
Again, the question was met with a head tilt. “Why would we need a tent?” asked Claire.
Lia brought a hand to her temples and gave them a slow, tired rub. “I’m starting to think that this whole party thing might not be all that great an idea after all.”
“Don’t worry! Claire might be kinda derpy, but she’s a good person, deep down!”
“I am not derpy,” said the half-moose, with a tug of the cheek. “I’m fiercely intelligent.”
“You keep saying that, but that doesn’t mean it’s true!”
Claire pouted and gave her fuzzy friend another, slightly more aggressive cheek tug. Lia raised a brow at how far the fox’s cheeks were stretched, but both the altercation’s participants broke into a giggling fit before she could voice her concerns, with the larger halfbreed pulling the smaller one into a tight embrace.
“Uhm… So about the plan…”
She was half expecting to be ignored, but Claire answered her immediately. “Let’s head back to town first. So we can get all of the shopping and administrative work done. It’ll take a lot of time. And we won’t have to camp out.”
“But what about the rest of the loot? Someone else might get to it first, if we aren’t quick about it.” Lia walked around the camp and started picking up her things.
“No one else knows where it is,” said the mage. “We can retrieve it tomorrow.”
“Right.”
Lia had wanted to start by cleaning out the bandits’ camps, but the lyrkress’ idea was more efficient. Both hideouts were to the east, with the further one located just outside Farenlight’s Den. The ancient dungeon wasn’t exactly anything novel, but it was challenging enough for access to be restricted. The perfect place to put their new party to the test.
Chapter 148 - The Thunder God’s Temple III
“I ain’t telling.”
The scyph grunted the rejection with a racially uncharacteristic certainty as he struggled to break free of his bindings. It was already his seventh refusal. Each had come with a deep laceration to the bell, but violence had done little to encourage a change in attitude. He stayed tight-lipped, no matter how many times he was struck by his tormentor’s blade.
Still, the catgirl repeated her pattern of attack. She slashed at him again with her rapier’s edge, goring him and spilling a thick, slimy liquid. Though transparent, the blood was so viscous that it clumped before hitting the ground. “Stop being stubborn. Vik Sinnue is dead. You gain nothing from guarding his treasure.”
“You may be right.” The scyph laughed like a pirate as he brought his tentacles to the rope holding his bell in place, but his limbs were swatted away before he could yank the knots out of shape.
“Natalya.” Claire pushed the incompetent interrogator out of the way with a pointed branch as she stepped forward to take her place. “Let me.”
“Please call me Lia.”
“No.”
“Why not? I’m asking nicely.” The catgirl twisted her lips into a frown as she crossed her arms and furrowed her brow.
“Because I said so.”
“Could you please at least give me a reason?”
“No.”
“See! I told you she was stubborn!” Sylvia giggled as she looked between the lyrkress and her latest victim. “You know, she’s actually gotten a lot better now. She was super prickly when we met. Now, she at least kinda listens. Sometimes.”
“I’m not stubborn.” Claire jabbed a finger into the side of the fox’s cheek and slowly pushed her off her head. “I’m very reasonable.”
“Then call me something else, please.”
“Why?”
“Well… You see…” Natalya pursed her lips as she put her hands behind her back and looked away. She took a deep breath, then another, and another before finally turning back towards the inquisitor and opening her mouth. “The thing is… I’m trying to lie low.”
“Then pick a better alias,” said Claire. She was almost tempted to bring a hand to her face and sigh. “Idiot.”
“It’s different enough,” said Natalya.
“No. It isn’t.” The lyrkress prodded the cat in the face with her stick. “It sounds like a nickname. They’ll have no trouble finding you. You’ll be executed in a heartbeat.”
“E-executed?” The warrior took half a step back, nearly tripping over her own feet in the process. “Why would I be executed!?”
“That’s what armies do to deserters. Desertion is treason.”
“Where the heck did you get that idea!? Deserters never get executed unless they start working for the enemy! Not even Cadrians are that barbaric!” she shouted. “And how did you know I was a deserter!?”
“Why else would a soldier want to lie low?” Again, the cat was abused by the stick. “And Cadrians aren’t barbaric.”
Natalya scratched the back of her head. “I admit that the first part seems pretty reasonable, but Cadrians are definitely barbaric.”
“Oh wait, Claire! I think I figured it out” chirped Sylvia. “She’s not a deserter! She’s a spy on a secret mission!”
“Impossible.” It took only a fraction of a second for the fox’s theory to be rejected.
“A-are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“W-what makes you say that?” asked Natalya. “For all you know, I could be Paunse’s best secret agent.”
“Secret agents aren’t stupid.”
“Hah! Looks like I ain’t the only one that was thinking you was maybe a dumbass.” The tree-bound bandit wheezed as the brunette’s jaw dropped like a rock. “Maybe fix yourself before asking me for shit.”
“Shut up,” said Claire, as she broke her stick on his dome.
“Yes, ma’am.”
After glaring at the scyph, and sending a chill down his nonexistent spine, the lyrkress turned to the furball on her shoulder and gave her chin a scratch. “Why do you even know what spies are? Wasn’t Darkwood Hollow the only place you ever lived?”
“Because I’m super smart, duh!” The fox stood up on her hind legs, put her front paws on her hips, and puffed out her chest.
“I know. Now tell me the real reason.”
“Why does it feel kinda like you’re making fun of me even though you’re agreeing?”
“No reason.”
“Uh huh…” Sylvia narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but continued along nonetheless. “Well uhmm… anyway, I read about it in one of Al’s books. There was this one about this super cool guy with all these secret gadgets and stuff.”
“I thought his books would all be like Shblbbhsh and Clkclkc.”
“Oh uhmmm… they kinda are. There were a few weird parts here and there, but it wasn’t that bad!”
“I don’t know why I assumed otherwise.” Rolling her eyes, the half-snake picked another stick off the ground with her tail and tested its flexibility before passing it to her hands and pointing it at the catgirl.
“I’m calling you by your name. It’s common enough. And it won’t get you killed.”
“Please don’t!” shouted the catgirl. “They might not kill me, but they’ll fine me for everything I’m worth and then some!”
“I don’t care.”
“Well you should! I won’t be able to pay for your lodgings if I’m up to my neck in debt!” The catgirl paused for a moment to breathe; screaming at the top of her lungs had left her completely out of breath. “J-just… think about it this way. We’ll have to sleep in the same room if our party’s finances collapse.”
The rogue pulled her hood over her eyes and allowed a small frown to surface. No answer was given until she turned away. “...Fine.”
Natalya—Lia—breathed a small sigh of relief, but she wasn’t the first to react. Sylvia began shouting before she could offer her thanks. “Woah… you actually managed to get her to give up again!?” cried the fox. “What the heck, Claire! You never listen to me! How come you’re listening to her!? This better not be because Al’s starting to get to you!”
“He isn’t,” said the lyrkress. “I’m being rational. I don’t want any perverts near me while I sleep.”
“Oh… good point. I guess it would be kinda unsafe, huh?” said the fox.
“Why do the two of you keep insisting that I’m a pervert?” asked Lia. Her words were as devoid of energy as her slumped shoulders.
The sad, tired question was followed by a moment of silence. “Because you are.” Having exchanged a quick glance, the two halfbreeds spoke in perfect unison.
“I am not!”
“You wanted me to eat you,” said Claire.
“N-no I didn’t.” Lia’s cheeks flushed a deep shade of red as she brought her hands together and twiddled her thumbs. “Well… maybe I did. Just a little. I mean, it doesn’t really seem like all that bad of an idea… wait! What are you making me say!?”
“See? Pervert.” She pulled her ears into her hood, covered her chest with her arms, and turned away.
“It’s okay Lia!” Sylvia hopped over to the catgirl’s shoulder and patted her on the back. “It’s not your fault.”
“I’m not a pervert. It was just one time. This is all a misunderstanding…” She continued shooting glances in Claire’s direction as she spoke. Her blush deepened each time she did, and she started to fidget, rubbing her knees together and moving her shoulders almost uncontrollably.
Log Entry 5402
Charm Catgirl has reached level 14.
“Stop looking at me.” Claire prodded the catgirl with her second stick and forced her to face another direction. Only after she was sure she was safe did she return her gaze to the scyph. The bandit was silent. He had been trying to make himself scarce ever since she first snapped at him, in hopes that he would be forgotten, but to no avail.
Inspecting him more carefully, she found that he was still perfectly healthy. Half the cuts that marred his bell were already healed, and those that remained were closing themselves up at a visible rate. His vitality was abnormally high. Damaging him was unlikely to elicit a response, unless said damage was psychological, permanent, or both.
“Nata—” Cutting herself short, she glanced over her shoulder and called for the offender in question. “Pervert.”
“I’m not a pervert.”
“Then don’t answer to it next time,” said the lyrkress. “What do scyphs hate?”
“What do they hate?” Natalya blinked. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“What do I need to do? To make him feel like he’s been dishonoured?”
“Oh… sorry, but I’m not really sure.” She scratched her head with one hand and pushed herself to her feet with the other. “It’s not something I’ve ever looked into, and to be honest I’m not sure I would tell you, even if I had.”
“And why not?” Claire narrowed her eyes.
“Because it wouldn’t be the right thing to do.”
“You were torturing him a moment ago.”
The catgirl met her gaze. “That was standard procedure. I was getting information out of him, not threatening his dignity.” Her cheeks reddened as she maintained eye contact, but she didn’t look away.
“Don’t say it.” Claire wrinkled up her nose and scowled. “I’m going to stab you.”
Log Entry 5403
Charm Catgirl has reached level 15.
The threat only changed the catgirl’s behaviour for the worse. Her blush grew deeper, and she even started to fidget.
“I hate you.” The lyrkress pulled her hood further over her eyes, grit her teeth, and slowly took a breath. She managed to do away with Alfred’s thoughts before they crowded out her own, but while her sanity survived the encounter, the stick in her hands was not as lucky. Its handle was crushed to bits, and the rest of it hardly fared any better. A crack ran all the way up its length as it fell in front of her and rolled towards the captive jellyfish.
Her eyes traced its path and eventually settled on the invertebrate, who was trembling for reasons completely unlike the ones that had the catgirl in a fluster.
“H-hey, I’m innocent, don’t take it out on me.” The shiver that ran through his spineless body was followed by a slow shake of the bell. He surely would have slowly backed away, had he not been tied to a tree.
“Shut up.”
She jabbed a finger into the side of his head and ground its tip through the thin, slippery layer of skin that protected his innards. The wound itself was negligible, hardly deep enough to mar his flesh, but the bee venom applied to her nails had him howling in agony.
“Arrgghhh! What the hell!” he shouted. “Am I burning!? What’s happening!?”
“Shut up.”
Again, he was jabbed, and again, he reacted with a violent start. His bell writhed to and fro as he desperately tried to get away from her, but alas, he was forced to suffer a third sting.
“At least make a demand, damn it!”
“You already know what we want.”
Without waiting for him to answer, she slammed the bottom of her fist into the top of his head. The blow was powerful enough to deform his cranium and leave a dent even in his elastic flesh. He didn’t have a brain to rattle, but his consciousness was taken regardless.
Claire poked him an extra two or three times to confirm that he was really out cold before turning back towards the others. “Sylvia.”
“Mhm?”
“Work your magic.”
“You want me to give him nightmares?” blinked the fox. “Well uhmmmm… okay, I guess.” She stood up on her hind legs, placed a hand against her chest, and got ready to sing.
“Not that.” A pinch to the cheek stopped the fox in her tracks. “Your other magic.”
“Huh?”
“Check his memories.”
“Oh! That’s what you meant!” Giggling, she leapt to the ground and plodded over the victim-to-be. “I forgot you knew I could do that.”
“I’m aware.” Claire pinched the critter’s cheeks and gave her nose a poke.
“Oh uhm… there’s actually a bit of a problem. I can look through his head and see what he saw and stuff, but I can’t actually read minds so I won’t know where anything is. I could probably figure it out if I knew this place as well as I know the hollow, but we’ve barely been here a week.”
“Just try.”
“Okay!” She leaned forward as she spoke and placed both paws on the jellyfish’s oversized head. “Uhmmm…. Yeah, I dunno. I can see some places and stuff, but I don’t recognize any of them.”
“Useless fox,” mumbled the lyrkress.
“What the heck! It’s not even my fault!” shouted Sylvia.
“Did you just say that you could see memories?” asked Lia, after she got back on her feet.
“Yup!” chimed the fox. “It’s a little hard to control so I can’t always see exactly what I want, but it mostly works.”
“Can you show them to other people?”
“Uhmmm… I think so, but you’ll have to sit through some night terrors and stuff.”
“N-night terrors?” The cat gulped. “Aren’t those the things that make people scream at night?”
“Yup!”
“How well do you know the area?” asked Claire.
“Well enough to get around,” said the cat.
Her face turned pale as she responded, right as a small smile appeared on the lyrkress’ lips. “Sylvia.”
“On it!” The vixen took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “Good night, Lia! And umm… I know you’re not gonna have any, but sweet dreams!”
“Wait! I haven’t agreed ye—”
The catgirl waved her arms in panic and spoke at an almost unintelligible speed, but it was too late. Her legs crumpled, and her mind was whisked away to dreamland’s worst neighbourhood. It took no more than two seconds for her to start snoring, her light brown tail swishing left and right each time she drew breath.
“Uhm… oops.” The fox blinked. Thrice.
“Too late now.” Claire smiled before turning back to the unconscious jellyfish. “While you’re at it. Can you give him some night terrors too?”
“Uhmm… sure, I guess. But why?”
“I feel like listening to you sing. It’ll help with this stupid curse.”
“Okay.” Sylvia smiled, softly, as she allowed the lyrkress to scoop her up in her arms. “One fresh batch of night terrors, coming right up!”
___
“No! Not the oven!”
Lia shrieked incomprehensibly as she violently uncurled and leapt to her feet. Her brow was dripping with sweat, her eyes were bloodshot, and her mind was still paralyzed with fear. It took the poor cat a desperate gasp and a half to realise that she had finally escaped the fabricated nightmare. Slowly, she brought a shivering hand to her chest and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank the gods... It’s finally over…”
Rubbing her eyes, she focused her vision on the oddly blue world around her. Her heart was still pounding and she was still short of breath, but she was at least calm enough to conclude that she was inside a large bubble. Claire and Sylvia were situated just outside of it, working away at a basket full of bread. She had no idea where they had acquired the food or its vessel, but neither looked to be enjoying the meal. The chimera was chewing at it with her eyes empty, and the fox was burying a half-eaten piece next to a nearby tree.
“Oh, hey Lia! You’re up!” The watery veil around her vanished as Sylvia looked up from her pit and waved. So adorable was the gesture that the catgirl almost forgot that the fox was the source of her suffering. Almost.
“Please don’t ever do that to me again!” She brought an unsteady hand to her damaged spectacles and adjusted them as she made the demand. The tentacle-faced horror unleashed upon her in her sleep was still fresh in her mind. She could still see its awful, sanity-sapping smirk, burned straight into the back of her brain.
“I’m sorry…” The fox slumped her shoulders and drooped her tail, with the latter falling all the way to the ground. “I thought you were only asking because you wanted me to show you. I didn’t mean to uhm… totally ruin your entire morning for no reason.”
“W-well, it’s not like there’s no reason,” backpedalled the cat. “The bald guy with wings and an octopus for a face was terrifying, but it told me quite a bit.”
“Do you know where the treasure is?” asked Claire.
The catgirl paused for a moment to bring a hand to her chin. “I think I know where two of them are, but I have no idea about the other five.”
“Well that’s better than me!” said Sylvia. “I don’t know where any of them are.”
“That’s okay. You did your part.” The chimera lifted the fox away from her burrow, set her down in her lap, and stroked her fuzzy coat. “You were very useful. For once.”
“Hey! That last part was totally unnecessary!”
“I know.”
“Wait a second.” Lia tilted her head as she swept her eyes over the other humanoid’s frame. Claire immediately covered her body with her hands, but the thin limbs did nothing to stop the cat from achieving her goals. “Weren’t you supposed to have a tail? Or maybe more legs?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lia frowned. “Well, I won’t pry if it’s personal, but can you at least explain what lyrkresses are?”
“No.” Claire crossed her arms. “Because I don’t know.”
“Was that supposed to be a joke?” The Paunsean cocked a brow as she took a piece of bread from the basket. Putting it to her mouth, she found herself not entirely unsatisfied. It was a little dry and stale, but better than the rations she was accustomed to.
“That’s not it. She’s only been one for like three wee—”
The fox’s mouth was pinched shut as the strange chimera breathed a tired sigh. “Don’t tell people things for no reason.”
“But it isn’t even all that important!” cried the canine.
“That doesn’t mean it isn’t private.”
“Oh… Well, congratulations on your second ascension.”
“Not second,” said Claire, after an awkward pause. “First.”
“Wait, first? But…”
“First,” repeated the lyrkress.
“Then what level are you?” Lia scrunched up her brow. “I’m just over 300, but some of my classes are a little higher.”
In any other context, it would have been a rude question to ask, but the swordswoman had posed it because she knew that their levels could not have been withheld. Going through the party-making process would allow them to see an extremely abbreviated version of each others’ status.
“Almost 250.”
The catgirl looked up from her bread and slowly swallowed the dried piece stuck in her throat. “Doesn’t that mean you’ve been gaining over fifty levels a week?”
“Maybe.”
“Wow, that’s quick. Were you blessed by Vella? Or maybe Archimess?”
The war goddess’ blessing was known to make newer fighters grow rapidly, so that they could join their predecessors on the battlefield and unpredictably turn the tides with feats of heroism beyond reason. In a similar vein, the god of mathematics and scholarly pursuits would often boost those that showed promise, so that they could further develop their fields of expertise.
“None of your business.”
With a dismissive glare, Claire stood up from her seat, turned back into a lyrkress, and walked towards the edge of the camp, where the captive scyph was starting to stir. He was moving around and groaning, but her fist slammed into his face before he could wake and sent him right back into a deep, deep slumber.
“Do we still need him, Pervert?” she asked.
Natalya tried to ignore the blatant call for her attention, but even with her eyes averted, she could feel the lyrkress’ gaze boring into the side of her skull. Eventually, the catgirl gulped, gave in, and turned back towards the fierce but empty glare. “I’m not a pervert.” Claire’s eyes were cold, but she stayed firm. “And please call me Lia.”
“Just answer the question.”
“Oh… right.” The brunette closed her eyes and pulled up the recent, traumatic memory. “I don’t think so. Let’s take him back to tow—”
She was cut off by a loud, violent squish. Like an axe, the half-moose’s leg cleaved through the side of the scyph’s head and split his body in two.
“Claire! What the heck! You got his blood all over me!” shouted Sylvia, who was still in the other girl’s arms.
“I can wash it off.” The horse extended a finger and fired a stream of water, but the fox shook her head.
“It’s okay, I’ll just clean myself with a bubble.”
“Wait, wait! Why did you just do that!?” shouted Lia.
“Because giving the experience to an executioner would be a waste.” The lyrkress sat back down without so much as cleaning off the limb and continued munching away at her meal.
“I doubt he was worth much. He was half your level at most,” she complained, “we could have traded him in and made ourselves a few extra copper pieces.”
“Slavery is outlawed in Vel’khan,” said Claire.
“The city would have taken him off our hands” explained the catgirl. “The Vel’khanese love their public executions, and even small towns can make a pretty penny off a one-criminal-show.” She acted out the motion of an overhead swing, raising both arms and bringing them down on the empty space in front of her.
“And you said Cadrians were barbaric.”
“Cadrians are barbaric,” mumbled the cat, “but enough about that. Let’s hash out a plan.”
“A plan? What for?” asked Sylvia.
“We have a lot of things to do. We have to head to one of the towns in order to register our party, shop for supplies, find the rest of their loot, figure out if we need any more party members, and a whole slew of other things.”
“Why would we need to shop for supplies?” blinked the fox.
“Well… I think I might’ve accidentally destroyed most of your equipment. I couldn’t find anything when I was looking through the fort’s ruins, so I thought to make it up to you.”
“Oh… that’s really nice of you!” said Sylvia. “But I don’t think we had anything that mattered.”
“We did,” said Claire. “Your clothes.”
“W-wait a second!” The vixen spun around and rummaged through her tail, only to turn pale soon after. “Oh crap…” She still had the dress that Claire had torn the previous evening, but none of her other elf-sized clothes were anywhere to be found.
“See?”
“I think I might not be following right…” Lia’s tail twitched as she looked between the pair. “Are you saying that Sylvia’s clothes are the only things you two had?”
“Yup!” chirped the half-elf.
“Since when do foxes wear clothes?” asked the catgirl.
“Since always,” said the furball.
“That’s not what you said last time.” Claire picked up her hat and pulled its cheeks. “Didn’t you say that wearing clothes would make you a pervert?”
“Huh?“
“Right after I blew up Borrok Peak.”
“I was talking about stockings back then, not clothes! That doesn’t count! Stockings are basically just lingerie!”
W-what about the rest of your supplies? Like your equipment, your camping gear, and your food?”
Claire blinked. “Why would we have any of that?” The question was spoken in the same perfectly flat tone as usual, but the accompanying confusion was made clear with a cock of the head.
“W-what do you mean, why!? How were the two of you adventuring without any supplies?”
Claire’s neck moved a whole two and a half degrees. “Normally.”
“Normal adventurers have supplies. How were you getting your food and water?”
“We made it with magic, duh!” said Sylvia.
“Now you’re just pulling my tail. Magic can’t just make food out of nothing.”
“Oh, come on Lia, don’t be so silly! Magic makes stuff out of mana,” said the fox, with a giggle.
“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of any schools of magic like that, but fine. What about camping gear? Don’t you need a tent, at least? Or maybe something to help start a fire?”
Again, the question was met with a head tilt. “Why would we need a tent?” asked Claire.
Lia brought a hand to her temples and gave them a slow, tired rub. “I’m starting to think that this whole party thing might not be all that great an idea after all.”
“Don’t worry! Claire might be kinda derpy, but she’s a good person, deep down!”
“I am not derpy,” said the half-moose, with a tug of the cheek. “I’m fiercely intelligent.”
“You keep saying that, but that doesn’t mean it’s true!”
Claire pouted and gave her fuzzy friend another, slightly more aggressive cheek tug. Lia raised a brow at how far the fox’s cheeks were stretched, but both the altercation’s participants broke into a giggling fit before she could voice her concerns, with the larger halfbreed pulling the smaller one into a tight embrace.
“Uhm… So about the plan…”
She was half expecting to be ignored, but Claire answered her immediately. “Let’s head back to town first. So we can get all of the shopping and administrative work done. It’ll take a lot of time. And we won’t have to camp out.”
“But what about the rest of the loot? Someone else might get to it first, if we aren’t quick about it.” Lia walked around the camp and started picking up her things.
“No one else knows where it is,” said the mage. “We can retrieve it tomorrow.”
“Right.”
Lia had wanted to start by cleaning out the bandits’ camps, but the lyrkress’ idea was more efficient. Both hideouts were to the east, with the further one located just outside Farenlight’s Den. The ancient dungeon wasn’t exactly anything novel, but it was challenging enough for access to be restricted. The perfect place to put their new party to the test.
