Chapter 193: 193
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(You can skip this chapter if you're not interested in Terra's World Building)
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(Heroine of Demons POV)
There is a lot to talk about and too little time to give so many explanations and introductions.
No matter how long you live, you always feel like you are running out of time…
Time, time, time…
The Demon Race is a long-lived one, and those that are of high Mana Core Rank can live for thousands of years.
We see the world change through our eyes.
Civilizations rise and fall.
The world changes, the entire forest grows back, and others disappear…
The winter comes thousands of times, yet it never stops being cold.
And the summer comes a thousand times, and it never stops being hot.
Such is life, a constant motion of repetitiveness but also change, not a single winter is the same as the other, and not a single summer is the same as the previous one.
Perhaps those who live less would say that living longer is a blessing, but I have discovered that it might as well be a curse.
However, this does not mean that I want to die, but it does gests boring, oh, so boring.
And yet, I always feel like I am running out of time like there is so much left for me to do, so many regrets left behind.
There are certain things that you can only do in a certain amount of time, living longer will not help you resolve this.
Living one thousand years also means that you have over one thousand regrets.
And if you are such a foolish woman such as me… You befriend those that bring brightness to your life, even if they are from races that live not as much.
You see them grow, mature, and become wise, only for them to die as time continues going on through an eternal flow.
So many friends that I have seen pass away, it is painful, so very painful…
At some point in my life, I had decided to seclude myself from the world, to live alone, as I did not want to suffer anymore.
I did not want to come to the lives of people for them to only see me never age, while they age and fade away by the winds of time…
Oh…
And it is even more painful when those you love go away…
I was such a stupid woman.
So many times I tried to feel the same as before, to find another person to dedicate my heart to.
But it is useless, I cannot keep with them… I cannot keep with this sorrow this pain I feel when I see their faces growing slowly old…
When you live so much, your perception of time warps…
Time feels as if it runs faster, perhaps a day for a human might be very long, but for me, it feels like a minute.
Day after day, I see them fade away.
All my friends.
All my lovers…
All my children…
My grandchildren…
All of them are gone…
Because they were not able to inherit my long lifespan, I outlived my children and my grandchildren.
So much pain…
Which mother would ever want to see their own children grow older while you stay young?
As they all die… turn into ashes, and go back to the soil of this world…
Those that your very womb gave birth to, dying before your eyes of old age.
Oh…
So painful.
So very painful…
I was so foolish.
So very foolish.
I decided to never love any other person ever again.
I decided to never have more descendants.
I decided to simply… exist and research.
Delving into the depths and secrets of magic and alchemy.
However, even then, I could not keep up.
At some point, I lost interest, everything seemed to become pointless.
I lost purpose and became an empty shell of my former self.
Devoid of emotions, of life, of anything.
I was existing, breathing, sleeping, and eating.
Was there any purpose to my existence?
When I was young, I always imagined a world where I could do many good things for others, where I worked hard to help others.
I suppose that being with my kin might help, but even them are strange, much like me, we Demons lost our purpose at some point.
It is hard to have children between demons, the birthrate is very low.
I was only able to bear hybrid children, my precious little dears.
I remember all of them, and I miss them so much…
Perhaps this sorrow… keeps me moving.
To simply live on sorrow, to simply keep existing, so they can live within my memories.
So they cannot be forgotten by everyone.
As long as I exist, they will never be forgotten, and they always live in my memories and heart.
This is why, to not build up more sorrow, I decided to live secluded from everything…
Perhaps I could be more optimistic.
Maybe I could find a male demon and mate with him until I could have a child.
But what is the point of that without love?
I cannot fall in love anymore, my heart does not respond to anyone.
I simply cannot experience these things anymore.
Maybe I could use my strength to save people?
Only to end up making more bonds unwillingly and unknowingly?
To end up getting attached to these people?
So they can die in front of me… only for me to… feel more sorrowful…
No…
I do not want this anymore…
Leave me alone…
I want to be alone…
Just… with my memories…
And my sorrows…
…
However, even for someone as ancient as me, sometimes, life gives a big twist.
When I was born there was no ritual for citizenship registration like now.
So I never got myself an actual crest for the progenitor gods of my race.
One day, my lair was found out by a demon priest, who called me for a prophecy, some kind of divine message that she got from our gods.
She said that "The Eternal Witch" was the chosen one…
Who is she talking about?
And then, I realized that I was named the Eternal Witch by the folks that made a town around my lair.
It seems that due to my Rank 6 Mana Core, monsters never roam around where I live.
So people slowly built towns and even a small city around where I secluded myself for years…
I guess going out and seeing the sun from to time is not so bad…
I decided to follow this girl, as this mission seemed important to her and the nation.
I could have simply rejected her and use my magic to seclude myself elsewhere.
But I decided to follow her, because every so often when things regard Gods, they might be important.
Important for the world, I mean, not for me, I do not care about Gods.
So I followed this little girl, an innocent flower, a young priest of the church named Ninilia.
She reminded me of my daughter…
But suppressed those emotions and accompanied her to the church, it took a few days to get into the large city.
Hm, things have changed slightly since the last time I was here, but it overall had the same feeling.
And then, the church, the ritual happened, and I was given a crest, a tattoo.
But not before I was sent inside the Divine Realm of the Gods of my nation, the progenitors of my race, Aher, the God of Darkness and the Night, and Qevphine, the Goddess of the Stars, and the Moon.
Although I have never seen them in person, I have seen their statues, although seeing them now gave me a new experience that I never thought I would undergo through my long life.
I suppose sometimes you live long enough to even met Gods…
Aher was a skeleton, with black hones and two blue flames shining inside of his skull, however, he was not an Undead, his skeleton was in fact shadows compacted as a form, such an intricate life form, seeing Gods in person had awakened within me the desire to study their physiology.
And Qevphine was a beautiful pale white woman, wearing a dress made of stars and having a large moon-like halo atop her head, her entire physiology seemed less complex, but it was still very intricate.
I do wonder how Gods exist, what are they, and how they reproduce…
But there was no time for me to inspect them, both hurriedly gave me the task to become the Heroine of the Nation.
A tedious task, and not one you would give to such an old lady like me…
However, I did not reject it, simply because it was a big responsibility, and who else than someone like me would be able to accomplish it?
The fate of the world was in within my hands, and four other Heroes.
The Gods seemed happy that I accepted their task very fast, so I utilized this opportunity to ask them to let me inspect their bodies in detail as a reward.
And they let me.
Gods' bodies are very interesting, it is as if they had none, their entire bodies were mere physical projections of their advanced Divine Souls, it was good research.
I have heard that those that reach Rank 7 can become Demigods, would I one day have such power?
However, there was no time for such things, I decided to become the Heroine and represent the Nation.
And here I was, inside a facility made by those named the Ancient Order.
Thanks to them, I met the Heroes, a Human boy, an elven princess, and a dwarven blacksmith.
All of them had different and rich life experiences, despite being very young.
I will make sure to teach them well, and do whatever I can to save this world… where my beloved ones once lived…
It is the least I could do.
However, I cannot stop wondering… Where could the Beast-kin Hero be?
-----
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(You can skip this chapter if you're not interested in Terra's World Building)
-----
(Heroine of Demons POV)
There is a lot to talk about and too little time to give so many explanations and introductions.
No matter how long you live, you always feel like you are running out of time…
Time, time, time…
The Demon Race is a long-lived one, and those that are of high Mana Core Rank can live for thousands of years.
We see the world change through our eyes.
Civilizations rise and fall.
The world changes, the entire forest grows back, and others disappear…
The winter comes thousands of times, yet it never stops being cold.
And the summer comes a thousand times, and it never stops being hot.
Such is life, a constant motion of repetitiveness but also change, not a single winter is the same as the other, and not a single summer is the same as the previous one.
Perhaps those who live less would say that living longer is a blessing, but I have discovered that it might as well be a curse.
However, this does not mean that I want to die, but it does gests boring, oh, so boring.
And yet, I always feel like I am running out of time like there is so much left for me to do, so many regrets left behind.
There are certain things that you can only do in a certain amount of time, living longer will not help you resolve this.
Living one thousand years also means that you have over one thousand regrets.
And if you are such a foolish woman such as me… You befriend those that bring brightness to your life, even if they are from races that live not as much.
You see them grow, mature, and become wise, only for them to die as time continues going on through an eternal flow.
So many friends that I have seen pass away, it is painful, so very painful…
At some point in my life, I had decided to seclude myself from the world, to live alone, as I did not want to suffer anymore.
I did not want to come to the lives of people for them to only see me never age, while they age and fade away by the winds of time…
Oh…
And it is even more painful when those you love go away…
I was such a stupid woman.
So many times I tried to feel the same as before, to find another person to dedicate my heart to.
But it is useless, I cannot keep with them… I cannot keep with this sorrow this pain I feel when I see their faces growing slowly old…
When you live so much, your perception of time warps…
Time feels as if it runs faster, perhaps a day for a human might be very long, but for me, it feels like a minute.
Day after day, I see them fade away.
All my friends.
All my lovers…
All my children…
My grandchildren…
All of them are gone…
Because they were not able to inherit my long lifespan, I outlived my children and my grandchildren.
So much pain…
Which mother would ever want to see their own children grow older while you stay young?
As they all die… turn into ashes, and go back to the soil of this world…
Those that your very womb gave birth to, dying before your eyes of old age.
Oh…
So painful.
So very painful…
I was so foolish.
So very foolish.
I decided to never love any other person ever again.
I decided to never have more descendants.
I decided to simply… exist and research.
Delving into the depths and secrets of magic and alchemy.
However, even then, I could not keep up.
At some point, I lost interest, everything seemed to become pointless.
I lost purpose and became an empty shell of my former self.
Devoid of emotions, of life, of anything.
I was existing, breathing, sleeping, and eating.
Was there any purpose to my existence?
When I was young, I always imagined a world where I could do many good things for others, where I worked hard to help others.
I suppose that being with my kin might help, but even them are strange, much like me, we Demons lost our purpose at some point.
It is hard to have children between demons, the birthrate is very low.
I was only able to bear hybrid children, my precious little dears.
I remember all of them, and I miss them so much…
Perhaps this sorrow… keeps me moving.
To simply live on sorrow, to simply keep existing, so they can live within my memories.
So they cannot be forgotten by everyone.
As long as I exist, they will never be forgotten, and they always live in my memories and heart.
This is why, to not build up more sorrow, I decided to live secluded from everything…
Perhaps I could be more optimistic.
Maybe I could find a male demon and mate with him until I could have a child.
But what is the point of that without love?
I cannot fall in love anymore, my heart does not respond to anyone.
I simply cannot experience these things anymore.
Maybe I could use my strength to save people?
Only to end up making more bonds unwillingly and unknowingly?
To end up getting attached to these people?
So they can die in front of me… only for me to… feel more sorrowful…
No…
I do not want this anymore…
Leave me alone…
I want to be alone…
Just… with my memories…
And my sorrows…
…
However, even for someone as ancient as me, sometimes, life gives a big twist.
When I was born there was no ritual for citizenship registration like now.
So I never got myself an actual crest for the progenitor gods of my race.
One day, my lair was found out by a demon priest, who called me for a prophecy, some kind of divine message that she got from our gods.
She said that "The Eternal Witch" was the chosen one…
Who is she talking about?
And then, I realized that I was named the Eternal Witch by the folks that made a town around my lair.
It seems that due to my Rank 6 Mana Core, monsters never roam around where I live.
So people slowly built towns and even a small city around where I secluded myself for years…
I guess going out and seeing the sun from to time is not so bad…
I decided to follow this girl, as this mission seemed important to her and the nation.
I could have simply rejected her and use my magic to seclude myself elsewhere.
But I decided to follow her, because every so often when things regard Gods, they might be important.
Important for the world, I mean, not for me, I do not care about Gods.
So I followed this little girl, an innocent flower, a young priest of the church named Ninilia.
She reminded me of my daughter…
But suppressed those emotions and accompanied her to the church, it took a few days to get into the large city.
Hm, things have changed slightly since the last time I was here, but it overall had the same feeling.
And then, the church, the ritual happened, and I was given a crest, a tattoo.
But not before I was sent inside the Divine Realm of the Gods of my nation, the progenitors of my race, Aher, the God of Darkness and the Night, and Qevphine, the Goddess of the Stars, and the Moon.
Although I have never seen them in person, I have seen their statues, although seeing them now gave me a new experience that I never thought I would undergo through my long life.
I suppose sometimes you live long enough to even met Gods…
Aher was a skeleton, with black hones and two blue flames shining inside of his skull, however, he was not an Undead, his skeleton was in fact shadows compacted as a form, such an intricate life form, seeing Gods in person had awakened within me the desire to study their physiology.
And Qevphine was a beautiful pale white woman, wearing a dress made of stars and having a large moon-like halo atop her head, her entire physiology seemed less complex, but it was still very intricate.
I do wonder how Gods exist, what are they, and how they reproduce…
But there was no time for me to inspect them, both hurriedly gave me the task to become the Heroine of the Nation.
A tedious task, and not one you would give to such an old lady like me…
However, I did not reject it, simply because it was a big responsibility, and who else than someone like me would be able to accomplish it?
The fate of the world was in within my hands, and four other Heroes.
The Gods seemed happy that I accepted their task very fast, so I utilized this opportunity to ask them to let me inspect their bodies in detail as a reward.
And they let me.
Gods' bodies are very interesting, it is as if they had none, their entire bodies were mere physical projections of their advanced Divine Souls, it was good research.
I have heard that those that reach Rank 7 can become Demigods, would I one day have such power?
However, there was no time for such things, I decided to become the Heroine and represent the Nation.
And here I was, inside a facility made by those named the Ancient Order.
Thanks to them, I met the Heroes, a Human boy, an elven princess, and a dwarven blacksmith.
All of them had different and rich life experiences, despite being very young.
I will make sure to teach them well, and do whatever I can to save this world… where my beloved ones once lived…
It is the least I could do.
However, I cannot stop wondering… Where could the Beast-kin Hero be?
-----
You can skip this chapter if you're not interested in Terra's World Building-----Heroine of Demons POVThere is a lot to talk about and too little time to give so many explanations and introductions.No matter how long you live, you always feel like you are running out of timeTime, time, timeThe Demon Race is a long-lived one, and those that are of high Mana Core Rank can live for thousands of years.We see the world change through our eyes.Civilizations rise and fall.The world changes, the entire forest grows back, and others disappearThe winter comes thousands of times, yet it never stops being cold.And the summer comes a thousand times, and it never stops being hot.Such is life, a constant motion of repetitiveness but also change, not a single winter is the same as the other, and not a single summer is the same as the previous one.Perhaps those who live less would say that living longer is a blessing, but I have discovered that it might as well be a curse.However, this does not mean that I want to die, but it does gests boring, oh, so boring.And yet, I always feel like I am running out of time like there is so much left for me to do, so many regrets left behind.There are certain things that you can only do in a certain amount of time, living longer will not help you resolve this.Living one thousand years also means that you have over one thousand regrets.And if you are such a foolish woman such as me You befriend those that bring brightness to your life, even if they are from races that live not as much.You see them grow, mature, and become wise, only for them to die as time continues going on through an eternal flow.So many friends that I have seen pass away, it is painful, so very painfulAt some point in my life, I had decided to seclude myself from the world, to live alone, as I did not want to suffer anymore.I did not want to come to the lives of people for them to only see me never age, while they age and fade away by the winds of timeOhAnd it is even more painful when those you love go awayI was such a stupid woman.So many times I tried to feel the same as before, to find another person to dedicate my heart to.But it is useless, I cannot keep with them I cannot keep with this sorrow this pain I feel when I see their faces growing slowly oldWhen you live so much, your perception of time warpsTime feels as if it runs faster, perhaps a day for a human might be very long, but for me, it feels like a minute.Day after day, I see them fade away.All my friends.All my loversAll my childrenMy grandchildrenAll of them are goneBecause they were not able to inherit my long lifespan, I outlived my children and my grandchildren.So much painWhich mother would ever want to see their own children grow older while you stay young?As they all die turn into ashes, and go back to the soil of this worldThose that your very womb gave birth to, dying before your eyes of old age.OhSo painful.So very painfulI was so foolish.So very foolish.I decided to never love any other person ever again.I decided to never have more descendants.I decided to simply exist and research.Delving into the depths and secrets of magic and alchemy.However, even then, I could not keep up.At some point, I lost interest, everything seemed to become pointless.I lost purpose and became an empty shell of my former self.Devoid of emotions, of life, of anything.I was existing, breathing, sleeping, and eating.Was there any purpose to my existence?When I was young, I always imagined a world where I could do many good things for others, where I worked hard to help others.I suppose that being with my kin might help, but even them are strange, much like me, we Demons lost our purpose at some point.It is hard to have children between demons, the birthrate is very low.I was only able to bear hybrid children, my precious little dears.I remember all of them, and I miss them so muchPerhaps this sorrow keeps me moving.To simply live on sorrow, to simply keep existing, so they can live within my memories.So they cannot be forgotten by everyone.As long as I exist, they will never be forgotten, and they always live in my memories and heart.This is why, to not build up more sorrow, I decided to live secluded from everythingPerhaps I could be more optimistic.Maybe I could find a male demon and mate with him until I could have a child.But what is the point of that without love?I cannot fall in love anymore, my heart does not respond to anyone.I simply cannot experience these things anymore.Maybe I could use my strength to save people?Only to end up making more bonds unwillingly and unknowingly?To end up getting attached to these people?So they can die in front of me only for me to feel more sorrowfulNoI do not want this anymoreLeave me aloneI want to be aloneJust with my memoriesAnd my sorrowsHowever, even for someone as ancient as me, sometimes, life gives a big twist.When I was born there was no ritual for citizenship registration like now.So I never got myself an actual crest for the progenitor gods of my race.One day, my lair was found out by a demon priest, who called me for a prophecy, some kind of divine message that she got from our gods.She said that "The Eternal Witch" was the chosen oneWho is she talking about?And then, I realized that I was named the Eternal Witch by the folks that made a town around my lair.It seems that due to my Rank 6 Mana Core, monsters never roam around where I live.So people slowly built towns and even a small city around where I secluded myself for yearsI guess going out and seeing the sun from to time is not so badI decided to follow this girl, as this mission seemed important to her and the nation.I could have simply rejected her and use my magic to seclude myself elsewhere.But I decided to follow her, because every so often when things regard Gods, they might be important.Important for the world, I mean, not for me, I do not care about Gods.So I followed this little girl, an innocent flower, a young priest of the church named Ninilia.She reminded me of my daughterBut suppressed those emotions and accompanied her to the church, it took a few days to get into the large city.Hm, things have changed slightly since the last time I was here, but it overall had the same feeling.And then, the church, the ritual happened, and I was given a crest, a tattoo.But not before I was sent inside the Divine Realm of the Gods of my nation, the progenitors of my race, Aher, the God of Darkness and the Night, and Qevphine, the Goddess of the Stars, and the Moon.Although I have never seen them in person, I have seen their statues, although seeing them now gave me a new experience that I never thought I would undergo through my long life.I suppose sometimes you live long enough to even met GodsAher was a skeleton, with black hones and two blue flames shining inside of his skull, however, he was not an Undead, his skeleton was in fact shadows compacted as a form, such an intricate life form, seeing Gods in person had awakened within me the desire to study their physiology.And Qevphine was a beautiful pale white woman, wearing a dress made of stars and having a large moon-like halo atop her head, her entire physiology seemed less complex, but it was still very intricate.I do wonder how Gods exist, what are they, and how they reproduceBut there was no time for me to inspect them, both hurriedly gave me the task to become the Heroine of the Nation.A tedious task, and not one you would give to such an old lady like meHowever, I did not reject it, simply because it was a big responsibility, and who else than someone like me would be able to accomplish it?The fate of the world was in within my hands, and four other Heroes.The Gods seemed happy that I accepted their task very fast, so I utilized this opportunity to ask them to let me inspect their bodies in detail as a reward.And they let me.Gods' bodies are very interesting, it is as if they had none, their entire bodies were mere physical projections of their advanced Divine Souls, it was good research.I have heard that those that reach Rank 7 can become Demigods, would I one day have such power?However, there was no time for such things, I decided to become the Heroine and represent the Nation.And here I was, inside a facility made by those named the Ancient Order.Thanks to them, I met the Heroes, a Human boy, an elven princess, and a dwarven blacksmith.All of them had different and rich life experiences, despite being very young.I will make sure to teach them well, and do whatever I can to save this world where my beloved ones once livedIt is the least I could do.However, I cannot stop wondering Where could the Beast-kin Hero be?-----
