“Do your thoughts run rampant like this every night before you go to bed?”
“Uh huh.”
“What do you think about?”
The boy closed his eyes. When Alice asked, he answered, without reservation.
“I think about Gong Fan and our future.”
Yun Shishi sat down beside him and listened quietly to the exchange of questions and answers. It was in such a relaxed state that the boy was unguarded. He could be honest about everything he was thinking.
“Do you like Gong Fan?”
“Average.”
“Do you hate him?”
“No I don’t hate him.”
“Then what exactly are your feelings for him?”
The boy was silent for a moment, then finally let out a long sigh. “I owe him. Guilt.”
“Why?”
“Because… I forcefully created him. It’s just that, before, I’d been trying to drive him out of me.” The boy’s eyelashes suddenly fluttered violently. On the screen, the monitoring frequency increased.
“He suffered pain he shouldn’t have, and I was cowardly enough to avoid it. He endured so much pain on my behalf, but I saw him as evil. Actually, he didn’t have a bad nature. It was just that he was always receiving negative repressed emotions, so he developed a dark personality. But instead of being understanding, I…”
Yun Shishi’s heart ached at that. She clamped her hand tightly over her mouth, overwhelmed by a sense of guilt. She did not want the boy to hear her choking. Her heartache. Her powerlessness. Her uneasiness.
She knew what kind of childhood the boy had had. She had kept him with her out of selfishness, but she had not given him a peaceful childhood.
She should have understood. She simply wasn’t capable of giving him a good childhood. And out of sheer selfishness, she’d kept him by her side. It was all her fault. She felt forlorn.
Alice continued to ask, “Did you create him?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because…” The boy’s relaxed brow furrowed slightly, and a streak of tears ran down his face.
“I felt lonely.”
“…”
Yun Shishi’s eyes widened in dismay.
“Lonely. Why do you feel lonely?”
“When I was young, everyone else had a daddy and a mommy, and brothers, and sisters. And so many friends, but I felt that I couldn’t get along with those children.”
“Why? Why couldn’t you get along?”
“Because it always felt like their world was different from mine. They’d have their mommies and daddies to take them to school. After school, someone would pick them up and take them home. When they got home, they’d have a warm dinner, but I didn’t. I wanted a daddy too, and a brother. I fantasized about having a family like that, but I knew Mommy was lonely too. I shouldn’t have expected so much.”
“That’s why…”
“So, I fantasized about having a brother until one day, I sensed, he appeared.”
‘Do you remember which day it was?’
“That day… that bad woman named Yun Na hit me. She kicked me to the ground and kicked me hard. At that moment, I suddenly lost consciousness. When I woke up and saw Mommy sitting beside me, I realized that it had been two days. Mommy saw the bruises on my body and asked me what had happened, but I really didn’t know anything. All I knew was that Yunna had hit me, but I didn’t know what had happened after that.
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“Do your thoughts run rampant like this every night before you go to bed?”
“Uh huh.”
“What do you think about?”
The boy closed his eyes. When Alice asked, he answered, without reservation.
“I think about Gong Fan and our future.”
Yun Shishi sat down beside him and listened quietly to the exchange of questions and answers. It was in such a relaxed state that the boy was unguarded. He could be honest about everything he was thinking.
“Do you like Gong Fan?”
“Average.”
“Do you hate him?”
“No I don’t hate him.”
“Then what exactly are your feelings for him?”
The boy was silent for a moment, then finally let out a long sigh. “I owe him. Guilt.”
“Why?”
“Because… I forcefully created him. It’s just that, before, I’d been trying to drive him out of me.” The boy’s eyelashes suddenly fluttered violently. On the screen, the monitoring frequency increased.
“He suffered pain he shouldn’t have, and I was cowardly enough to avoid it. He endured so much pain on my behalf, but I saw him as evil. Actually, he didn’t have a bad nature. It was just that he was always receiving negative repressed emotions, so he developed a dark personality. But instead of being understanding, I…”
Yun Shishi’s heart ached at that. She clamped her hand tightly over her mouth, overwhelmed by a sense of guilt. She did not want the boy to hear her choking. Her heartache. Her powerlessness. Her uneasiness.
She knew what kind of childhood the boy had had. She had kept him with her out of selfishness, but she had not given him a peaceful childhood.
She should have understood. She simply wasn’t capable of giving him a good childhood. And out of sheer selfishness, she’d kept him by her side. It was all her fault. She felt forlorn.
Alice continued to ask, “Did you create him?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because…” The boy’s relaxed brow furrowed slightly, and a streak of tears ran down his face.
“I felt lonely.”
“…”
Yun Shishi’s eyes widened in dismay.
“Lonely. Why do you feel lonely?”
“When I was young, everyone else had a daddy and a mommy, and brothers, and sisters. And so many friends, but I felt that I couldn’t get along with those children.”
“Why? Why couldn’t you get along?”
“Because it always felt like their world was different from mine. They’d have their mommies and daddies to take them to school. After school, someone would pick them up and take them home. When they got home, they’d have a warm dinner, but I didn’t. I wanted a daddy too, and a brother. I fantasized about having a family like that, but I knew Mommy was lonely too. I shouldn’t have expected so much.”
“That’s why…”
“So, I fantasized about having a brother until one day, I sensed, he appeared.”
‘Do you remember which day it was?’
“That day… that bad woman named Yun Na hit me. She kicked me to the ground and kicked me hard. At that moment, I suddenly lost consciousness. When I woke up and saw Mommy sitting beside me, I realized that it had been two days. Mommy saw the bruises on my body and asked me what had happened, but I really didn’t know anything. All I knew was that Yunna had hit me, but I didn’t know what had happened after that.
Thank you for reading on myboxnovel.com
