Sienna felt empty about the fact that an imperial woman can only have power as either a mother of an imperial heir, or as a beloved woman of a powerful man. That grieved her heart deeply.
But Sienna still couldn’t just feel pity towards Bluebell. She was also angry at Bluebell for making such foolish choices.
Why her choices had to be so horrible, why she couldn’t think of a better way out after exploring more options. Sienna was not happy with Bluebell at all. But this feeling was also the same for her past self.
While her feelings toward Arya were of the same color, such as disgust, resentment, hatred, and vengeance, her feelings toward Bluebell were more complex and could not be easily defined. It was because a sense of camaraderie was present in the corner of her heart.
All this understanding and misunderstanding gave her a sense of frustration, as if it had put a heavy stone on her chest, while sympathizing with why Bluebell had chosen to kill herself.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, it was something we’d find out anyway…”
Sienna looked out the window. She tried not to look out the window on purpose, but she couldn’t help herself. Though much reduced, black smoke still rose from afar like a pillar. The spirit of death seemed to linger throughout the city.
“When will it be over?”
“It’ll be over soon. They say we have to do this as soon as possible so that the country can stabilize.”
Replied Hain, who noticed what Sienna was saying.
Every day in the plaza, the Panacio family and the Ferrer family were beheaded.
“The day after tomorrow, Empress… No, I heard Arya Panacio’s execution is the last.”
“Arya Panacio….”
It was awkward to call her name this way. She had no reason to call Arya’s last name because Arya had always been part of the imperial family as far as Sienna has known her.
However, she was not particularly suited to the last name “Panacio”. Perhaps no last name would fit her. She was kind of a person who was odd to have any kind of belonging to anywhere.
Hain studied Sienna’s expressions. Working for a long time under Sienna, Hain found that her master had an unsolved feeling for Arya. It was more difficult not to know the relationship between the two, as they ran madly into each other in events like the deaths of the orphanage children when she strangled Arya.
“Why don’t you go out to the square then if you want to? May I ask His Majesty?”
Sienna shook her head.
It was true that she wanted to see the fall of Arya. But she didn’t want to watch Arya’s death directly.
Even if she didn’t see it, Arya had no more path toward recovery. It was the end.
*
It’s been a long time. It’s been a while since Arya came back to the Imperial Palace.
As soon as she entered her room, she went to her seat in the guest room and sat down. Although there were no maids who could listen to her commands as usual, sitting in her seat felt like she had returned to her ordinary life.
Arya was immediately deposed from the post of Dowager Empress and was investigated in an underground prison as a criminal. However, as soon as the investigation began, Count Panacio was held responsible for all the misdeeds she had committed, so she was not tortured.
“It was worth seeing.”
She murmured as she stretched her legs out and put them on the table.
Arya wanted to be at the pinnacle of power. She wanted to stand in a position where she didn’t have to bow to anyone. But her long-cherished dream was shattered.
At first, she couldn’t accept it at all, so she cursed, screamed and raged. Her rage was so terrible that for three days they seemed to let her do whatever she did.
The emperor’s men surveyed the people around her first instead. The sound of their torment and suffering came vividly over the bars. They seemed to have thought that she would repent of her wrongdoing if those involved suffered, but she did not.
What Arya struggled with was not because their suffering scared her, but the fact that she had to be confined in a narrow, messy place with her freedom suppressed. It didn’t matter if others’ flesh was torn and smelled of burning.
When the night came, the screaming that bothered her eardrums stopped. The private room was cramped. Sometimes she could only hear those trapped next to her crying, but it was usually quiet. Arya was finally left alone.
The prison was damp, and rats roamed underfoot. Bugs were nestled on the wall. The fishy smell and the chilly air from the humidity reminded her of her childhood.
Until her father noticed her, she lived in this kind of environment. In a filthy and cold place, she managed to scrap food, begging to the servants.
Sometimes on days when she couldn’t find food for several days, she couldn’t overcome her hunger and dug up insects or grass roots. On such days, she was more exhausted than on days when she couldn’t eat, because she would usually end up with a stomach ache and suffer.
Arya bumped her head against the wall. Memories that she never wanted to recall were about to come back. It was harder and more terrible than when she was raped by her disgusting brother.
That didn’t mean she forgave Depine. She only used him because she needed him for the time being.
But everything became useless. As six-year-old little Arya did, she couldn’t have anything and became lethargic. Many people seemed to step on her as before. She was less than an ant.
“I didn’t know anything! It’s all done by that b*tch alone!”
It was none other than Depine’s voice that brought her mind back. He pleaded his innocence in a bewildered voice. Just like when he raped Arya, he was still a pathetic man.
It wasn’t until she saw him that Arya came to her senses. In front of her eyes, she saw an opponent she could step on. She wasn’t at the bottom.
“My dear brother, what are you talking about? You said we should raise the status of the demoted Panacio family by succeeding in the rebellion. You even sent me military funds to buy soldiers.”
“What the hell are you talking about?! I asked you to bribe the nobles to bring me back up to the capital, when did I tell you to revolt!?”
He foamed and shouted. Arya smiled at it. She wanted this feeling. The feeling of stepping on someone’s head and reigning.
“It’s over, so I’ll tell you my whole truth. Chancellor.”
Arya threw them a bargaining chip. The terms were no big deal. All she wanted was a night’s stay at the Imperial Palace before being taken to the death row, and a pair of clothes and ornaments for herself when he was led to the death row.
Carl’s right-hand man, Pavenik, nodded his head with a curious look. However, he said he would allow only one hour, not one day, because she had to be under his management.
Not a bad deal for Arya. Watching Depine wriggling like a bug, she could feel a sense of relative superiority, and in addition, she could get what she wanted.
That’s how Arya could come back to the empress’ palace. On the day of her execution.
She closed her eyes. She wanted to have a glass of wine with a bathtub full of spices, but that level of luxury was not allowed.
“I’ll have to hurry. What should I wear to go out?”
Arya decorated herself with the most colorful clothes and expensive ornaments. Watching herself being dragged to the death row, she could not stand the onlookers feeling superior to her. She wanted to make sure that although she died today, the crowd would never feel superior to her.
She carefully groomed herself and left the imperial palace. A big man waiting at the door frowned. It was a man named Rufus Kissinger. She was somehow pleased that Carl had sent his closest aide.
“Are you going in like that?”
Arya nodded slowly.
“Of course. These have been negotiated with the Chancellor.”
It wasn’t a “permission” but a “negotiation.” Arya emphasized that point. That she never bowed her head to some baron.
“I know that. But there are many people in the plaza. The citizens who covet those necklaces and bracelets will snatch at those items.”
“Hmm… I’ll take care of it.”
It was something Arya had never thought of. It was because she never imagined that citizens would touch her. She frowned and followed Kissinger.
“What a fine day to die.”
Arya looked out the window and said. They were now riding in a carriage to the square. The knights, sitting on both sides of her, were expressionless.
Arya didn’t look unusual. She was dressed in a fancy dress as usual and dressed up in expensive jewelry.
In addition, knowing that she was going to die a terrible death on the stake today, she gave no indication of any agitation.
The knights that would lead her to the square today were inwardly relieved.
Those who are about to die show instinctive fear regardless of their status. The fear was not just tears and screams. They usually only have survival instincts left in their head, so they would be cursing, beating, spitting, and somehow struggling to escape.
The two knights who dragged Depine Panacio to the stake yesterday had their clothes torn and their faces marked with nail marks. Knights Amon and Michonne looked at them pitifully, while making fun of them.
It was the least favorite thing among all the responsibilities of the knights to lead criminals to the death penalty. It was especially tiring to lead those who lived looking down on others’ heads all their lives, who were high-ranking aristocrats, to the death row. That’s why no one volunteered for this job.
In the end, each time they drew lots to delegate this task. The two knights were selected unluckily to take the Empress, or the traitor Arya Panacio, to the stake.
They reflected and repented about yesterday when they teased the knights who led Depine Panacio to the death row. At that time, all they needed was to avoid the task. It never occurred to them that their turn would come back.
When the stick he had pulled was longer than the others, Amon thought he would not have a safe day today. He dragged Arya into the carriage with his grumpy friend.
But Empress Arya, who they thought would scream and try to rip their hair, remained calm.
Sienna felt empty about the fact that an imperial woman can only have power as either a mother of an imperial heir, or as a beloved woman of a powerful man. That grieved her heart deeply.
But Sienna still couldn’t just feel pity towards Bluebell. She was also angry at Bluebell for making such foolish choices.
Why her choices had to be so horrible, why she couldn’t think of a better way out after exploring more options. Sienna was not happy with Bluebell at all. But this feeling was also the same for her past self.
While her feelings toward Arya were of the same color, such as disgust, resentment, hatred, and vengeance, her feelings toward Bluebell were more complex and could not be easily defined. It was because a sense of camaraderie was present in the corner of her heart.
All this understanding and misunderstanding gave her a sense of frustration, as if it had put a heavy stone on her chest, while sympathizing with why Bluebell had chosen to kill herself.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, it was something we’d find out anyway…”
Sienna looked out the window. She tried not to look out the window on purpose, but she couldn’t help herself. Though much reduced, black smoke still rose from afar like a pillar. The spirit of death seemed to linger throughout the city.
“When will it be over?”
“It’ll be over soon. They say we have to do this as soon as possible so that the country can stabilize.”
Replied Hain, who noticed what Sienna was saying.
Every day in the plaza, the Panacio family and the Ferrer family were beheaded.
“The day after tomorrow, Empress… No, I heard Arya Panacio’s execution is the last.”
“Arya Panacio….”
It was awkward to call her name this way. She had no reason to call Arya’s last name because Arya had always been part of the imperial family as far as Sienna has known her.
However, she was not particularly suited to the last name “Panacio”. Perhaps no last name would fit her. She was kind of a person who was odd to have any kind of belonging to anywhere.
Hain studied Sienna’s expressions. Working for a long time under Sienna, Hain found that her master had an unsolved feeling for Arya. It was more difficult not to know the relationship between the two, as they ran madly into each other in events like the deaths of the orphanage children when she strangled Arya.
“Why don’t you go out to the square then if you want to? May I ask His Majesty?”
Sienna shook her head.
It was true that she wanted to see the fall of Arya. But she didn’t want to watch Arya’s death directly.
Even if she didn’t see it, Arya had no more path toward recovery. It was the end.
*
It’s been a long time. It’s been a while since Arya came back to the Imperial Palace.
As soon as she entered her room, she went to her seat in the guest room and sat down. Although there were no maids who could listen to her commands as usual, sitting in her seat felt like she had returned to her ordinary life.
Arya was immediately deposed from the post of Dowager Empress and was investigated in an underground prison as a criminal. However, as soon as the investigation began, Count Panacio was held responsible for all the misdeeds she had committed, so she was not tortured.
“It was worth seeing.”
She murmured as she stretched her legs out and put them on the table.
Arya wanted to be at the pinnacle of power. She wanted to stand in a position where she didn’t have to bow to anyone. But her long-cherished dream was shattered.
At first, she couldn’t accept it at all, so she cursed, screamed and raged. Her rage was so terrible that for three days they seemed to let her do whatever she did.
The emperor’s men surveyed the people around her first instead. The sound of their torment and suffering came vividly over the bars. They seemed to have thought that she would repent of her wrongdoing if those involved suffered, but she did not.
What Arya struggled with was not because their suffering scared her, but the fact that she had to be confined in a narrow, messy place with her freedom suppressed. It didn’t matter if others’ flesh was torn and smelled of burning.
When the night came, the screaming that bothered her eardrums stopped. The private room was cramped. Sometimes she could only hear those trapped next to her crying, but it was usually quiet. Arya was finally left alone.
The prison was damp, and rats roamed underfoot. Bugs were nestled on the wall. The fishy smell and the chilly air from the humidity reminded her of her childhood.
Until her father noticed her, she lived in this kind of environment. In a filthy and cold place, she managed to scrap food, begging to the servants.
Sometimes on days when she couldn’t find food for several days, she couldn’t overcome her hunger and dug up insects or grass roots. On such days, she was more exhausted than on days when she couldn’t eat, because she would usually end up with a stomach ache and suffer.
Arya bumped her head against the wall. Memories that she never wanted to recall were about to come back. It was harder and more terrible than when she was raped by her disgusting brother.
That didn’t mean she forgave Depine. She only used him because she needed him for the time being.
But everything became useless. As six-year-old little Arya did, she couldn’t have anything and became lethargic. Many people seemed to step on her as before. She was less than an ant.
“I didn’t know anything! It’s all done by that b*tch alone!”
It was none other than Depine’s voice that brought her mind back. He pleaded his innocence in a bewildered voice. Just like when he raped Arya, he was still a pathetic man.
It wasn’t until she saw him that Arya came to her senses. In front of her eyes, she saw an opponent she could step on. She wasn’t at the bottom.
“My dear brother, what are you talking about? You said we should raise the status of the demoted Panacio family by succeeding in the rebellion. You even sent me military funds to buy soldiers.”
“What the hell are you talking about?! I asked you to bribe the nobles to bring me back up to the capital, when did I tell you to revolt!?”
He foamed and shouted. Arya smiled at it. She wanted this feeling. The feeling of stepping on someone’s head and reigning.
“It’s over, so I’ll tell you my whole truth. Chancellor.”
Arya threw them a bargaining chip. The terms were no big deal. All she wanted was a night’s stay at the Imperial Palace before being taken to the death row, and a pair of clothes and ornaments for herself when he was led to the death row.
Carl’s right-hand man, Pavenik, nodded his head with a curious look. However, he said he would allow only one hour, not one day, because she had to be under his management.
Not a bad deal for Arya. Watching Depine wriggling like a bug, she could feel a sense of relative superiority, and in addition, she could get what she wanted.
That’s how Arya could come back to the empress’ palace. On the day of her execution.
She closed her eyes. She wanted to have a glass of wine with a bathtub full of spices, but that level of luxury was not allowed.
“I’ll have to hurry. What should I wear to go out?”
Arya decorated herself with the most colorful clothes and expensive ornaments. Watching herself being dragged to the death row, she could not stand the onlookers feeling superior to her. She wanted to make sure that although she died today, the crowd would never feel superior to her.
She carefully groomed herself and left the imperial palace. A big man waiting at the door frowned. It was a man named Rufus Kissinger. She was somehow pleased that Carl had sent his closest aide.
“Are you going in like that?”
Arya nodded slowly.
“Of course. These have been negotiated with the Chancellor.”
It wasn’t a “permission” but a “negotiation.” Arya emphasized that point. That she never bowed her head to some baron.
“I know that. But there are many people in the plaza. The citizens who covet those necklaces and bracelets will snatch at those items.”
“Hmm… I’ll take care of it.”
It was something Arya had never thought of. It was because she never imagined that citizens would touch her. She frowned and followed Kissinger.
“What a fine day to die.”
Arya looked out the window and said. They were now riding in a carriage to the square. The knights, sitting on both sides of her, were expressionless.
Arya didn’t look unusual. She was dressed in a fancy dress as usual and dressed up in expensive jewelry.
In addition, knowing that she was going to die a terrible death on the stake today, she gave no indication of any agitation.
The knights that would lead her to the square today were inwardly relieved.
Those who are about to die show instinctive fear regardless of their status. The fear was not just tears and screams. They usually only have survival instincts left in their head, so they would be cursing, beating, spitting, and somehow struggling to escape.
The two knights who dragged Depine Panacio to the stake yesterday had their clothes torn and their faces marked with nail marks. Knights Amon and Michonne looked at them pitifully, while making fun of them.
It was the least favorite thing among all the responsibilities of the knights to lead criminals to the death penalty. It was especially tiring to lead those who lived looking down on others’ heads all their lives, who were high-ranking aristocrats, to the death row. That’s why no one volunteered for this job.
In the end, each time they drew lots to delegate this task. The two knights were selected unluckily to take the Empress, or the traitor Arya Panacio, to the stake.
They reflected and repented about yesterday when they teased the knights who led Depine Panacio to the death row. At that time, all they needed was to avoid the task. It never occurred to them that their turn would come back.
When the stick he had pulled was longer than the others, Amon thought he would not have a safe day today. He dragged Arya into the carriage with his grumpy friend.
But Empress Arya, who they thought would scream and try to rip their hair, remained calm.
