“…Is that so.”
There was a voice in the dark. Even if she tried to get used to this sensation, she never could. The disintegration of awareness, the muddling sensation of confusion. No matter who it was, they would feel how this tiredness slowly inched closer to the feeling of death itself.
In a space where even one’s awareness had collapsed, where everything was blurred, the first thing that came to her mind was just how tired she was.
Ah, I’m so tired.
If only I can stay like this, if only I don’t open my eyes again. But again, light would come, and I would open my eyes. I can’t breathe. Who is it this time.
Please, just leave me alone.
That inscrutable voice. Who’s strangling me? I’m confused. The smell of medicine, the smell of gunpowder, and the smell of perfume. It hurts. My head is spinning. I’m lying down and my eyes are closed, but I’m so dizzy. In this cold, dark space, the first to disintegrate was one’s mind.
“As expected… to be the case.”
A cold hand touched my forehead. A chill was left upon my brow. It must be a human being’s hand, but it was so cold. Father’s hands were warm. But they must be cold now. Him, my father, a man who became a corpse—in search of love, he left. Really, Mother, you’re so enviable. After all that, Mother found love, and perhaps Mother’s mother…
“As for tonight’s appointment, it’s better to go alone, so…”
Rest, he said? In the meantime, Carynne felt her consciousness clearing up at the mention of a broken appointment. Was she allowed to continue sleeping?
“Her fever has gone down.”
She heard a familiar voice right above her head. The owner of that voice had been avoiding her for a while now, but here you are, finally dragged out. You’re a fief lord now, but you’re still a doctor. That’s why you’re a lost cause.
“…Thank you for your hard work.”
Then, the sound of a door closing.
Ah.
So that’s what it was.
She ended up collapsing. She was working in Isella’s room, then the last thing she could remember was the floor getting closer and closer. And, the reason as to why that happened was clear to her as well.
“I-If you’ve come to your senses… then just g-get up already.”
“……”
Carynne stared at Isella, who was on the bed next to hers. Carynne’s room wasn’t equipped with the proper medical resources for her treatment, so now she was lying next to Isella.
She caught sight of her own arm, where a needle that was the same as Isella’s was embedded. However, the IV fluid was different. See, Carynne was awake, and Isella was still asleep.
Carynne raised her arm and waved it at Dullan.
“We both know why I fainted.”
“……”
As soon as she jabbed that needle into her arm, she immediately felt her vision start spinning. She had used the last of her remaining strength to soften her fall.
Now she was certain. Dullan was the one who brought Isella out of that burning mansion, but he was also the one who was keeping her unconscious.
“What’ll you do if Mister Verdic finds out?”
With a forced smile on her lips, Carynne looked up at Dullan. Just hearing that she had spent his money on gambling like that was enough reason for Verdic to whip and tear her skin to shreds.
What would Verdic do the moment he’d find out that Dullan, who he had been relying on until now, was the one who put his daughter in that state to begin with?
Carynne had no doubt that he’d pick up that axe again.
“……”
Dullan kept his mouth shut as he glanced down at Carynne. Then, he answered.
“W-W-We’ll see each other again next year, o-of course.”
The answer wasn’t what she thought she’d hear. Carynne had been clutching the blanket on top of her until then, but it soon slipped out of her loosened grasp. That answer was something she never would have expected.
All too naturally, he answered in a way that acknowledged her repeated returns. His words did not hold his sense of responsibility as a priest and as a doctor. Even Carynne’s father had shown his doubts until the bitter end.
As though he had not a single shred of doubt about this, the apparent certainty seen on Dullan’s countenance made Carynne speechless. How could he believe it so entirely? What should she do now?
She was taken aback by the answer that was much too calm. However, her anger flared quietly within. Putting her all into smiling at the man, she opened her lips.
“…Oh my. Now that’s astonishing.”
Should she go ahead and strangle Dullan? Contemplating, Carynne eyed Dullan’s long, slender neck. When their eyes met, Dullan tucked his neck as he cowered.
Carynne pointed at Isella and asked.
“Why are you keeping Miss Isella unconscious?”
“…You, you tried to ki…kill her.”
“Yeah.”
“T-This woman did n-nothing wrong. She, doesn’t deserve to d-die.”
Carynne’s eyes went wide. His answer was strange.
“Do you love Miss Isella…? Mmh, no, that doesn’t sound right. Fine. Miss Isella is innocent. But she has to die. Mm… First, she believes that I committed murder… And her shoulder, I pricked it. Once she wakes up, she’s going to kill me. That’s why I wanted to kill her.”
Hearing Carynne’s response, Dullan stammered back a reply.
“I-I know. That’s why… I kept her unconscious. L-Leave her alone. Right now, this woman h-has left the st…stage.”
As Dullan glanced coldly down at Isella, it was difficult to assume that it was the gaze of either a saint or a man in love. Nevertheless, Dullan made it sound like he had been keeping Isella asleep just to protect her from Carynne. Even if he’d be in danger of getting killed by Verdic. The dubious good deed disgusted Carynne.
Noticing the look in Carynne’s eyes, Dullan spoke.
“Y-You don’t need to know the story.”
“……”
“Y-You’re going to start over anyway. I-I’m just… watching b-behind the scenes like this.”
Dullan replied to Carynne like so. His words were contradictory. His deed right now was both good and evil at the same time. Supposedly for the sake of protecting Isella from Carynne, he made the girl comatose.
However, he had no doubts about his actions. He just had this vague attitude of— If you want me to, I’ll do it. Or, I’ll sort it out, but I won’t be proactive about it.
Like someone who wasn’t on the stage, just someone in the audience. You can’t do this and that, but that’s not allowed either, and that, too, can’t be done. Oh, no, that’s too far. He had that kind of meddling attitude.
Did he feel that this was an obligation of his as a priest? But if he truly, utterly believed it, maybe he wouldn’t have gone only this far.
Carynne looked at Isella. She took out the pair of scissors hidden beneath a pillow, and while staring at Dullan, she pointed the scissors right at Isella’s pale neck.
“Then don’t stop me from killing Miss Isella either. If you believe—if you truly believe that I’ve been repeating the same life, then my sins will mean nothing in the end. You cannot stop me.”
For those who have stolen, offer lamb.
For those who have committed adultery, offer three young cattle.
For those who have assaulted another, offer a young mare.
For those who have murdered, offer your own life to atone for your sins.
The sole price a murderer can offer is his own death.
But what if the act of murder meant nothing? Carynne wondered about that. She was incapable of sinning. All of this was pure entertainment. That’s why she did all of that and felt no remorse at all. She had no regrets.
So, Carynne asked Dullan.
“Have I sinned?”
Dullan shook his head.
“Then don’t stop me.”
Yet still, Dullan grabbed Carynne’s arm. He still stopped her. Dullan looked perplexed. However, the grip of his hand was strong.
“If you believe, you have no reason to stop me.”
“B-But you don’t have a reason to kill e-either.”
“The reason is simple. I’m bored. Alright, you die then.”
“…H-How?”
He answered unhesitatingly.
And because of this, Carynne was sure now.
Got you.
Dullan really believes.
“I-In what way, do you want to d-do it?”
It seemed as though Dullan still hadn’t realized what subtext his words carried.
Let alone harbor love for her, Dullan considered Isella to be insignificant, and yet he was not afraid to die in place of her. Even if Carynne didn’t feel like killing someone here, this much was certain. Dullan believes. Very much so.
It wasn’t because Dullan was a saint, and neither was it due to love. It’s just that he was a man full of conviction.
“You. What do you know?”
Carynne clutched Dullan’s arm. He tried to shake off her grip, but she held him firmly. You think you can get away?
“What do you know?”
“…Is that so.”
There was a voice in the dark. Even if she tried to get used to this sensation, she never could. The disintegration of awareness, the muddling sensation of confusion. No matter who it was, they would feel how this tiredness slowly inched closer to the feeling of death itself.
In a space where even one’s awareness had collapsed, where everything was blurred, the first thing that came to her mind was just how tired she was.
Ah, I’m so tired.
If only I can stay like this, if only I don’t open my eyes again. But again, light would come, and I would open my eyes. I can’t breathe. Who is it this time.
Please, just leave me alone.
That inscrutable voice. Who’s strangling me? I’m confused. The smell of medicine, the smell of gunpowder, and the smell of perfume. It hurts. My head is spinning. I’m lying down and my eyes are closed, but I’m so dizzy. In this cold, dark space, the first to disintegrate was one’s mind.
“As expected… to be the case.”
A cold hand touched my forehead. A chill was left upon my brow. It must be a human being’s hand, but it was so cold. Father’s hands were warm. But they must be cold now. Him, my father, a man who became a corpse—in search of love, he left. Really, Mother, you’re so enviable. After all that, Mother found love, and perhaps Mother’s mother…
“As for tonight’s appointment, it’s better to go alone, so…”
Rest, he said? In the meantime, Carynne felt her consciousness clearing up at the mention of a broken appointment. Was she allowed to continue sleeping?
“Her fever has gone down.”
She heard a familiar voice right above her head. The owner of that voice had been avoiding her for a while now, but here you are, finally dragged out. You’re a fief lord now, but you’re still a doctor. That’s why you’re a lost cause.
“…Thank you for your hard work.”
Then, the sound of a door closing.
Ah.
So that’s what it was.
She ended up collapsing. She was working in Isella’s room, then the last thing she could remember was the floor getting closer and closer. And, the reason as to why that happened was clear to her as well.
“I-If you’ve come to your senses… then just g-get up already.”
“……”
Carynne stared at Isella, who was on the bed next to hers. Carynne’s room wasn’t equipped with the proper medical resources for her treatment, so now she was lying next to Isella.
She caught sight of her own arm, where a needle that was the same as Isella’s was embedded. However, the IV fluid was different. See, Carynne was awake, and Isella was still asleep.
Carynne raised her arm and waved it at Dullan.
“We both know why I fainted.”
“……”
As soon as she jabbed that needle into her arm, she immediately felt her vision start spinning. She had used the last of her remaining strength to soften her fall.
Now she was certain. Dullan was the one who brought Isella out of that burning mansion, but he was also the one who was keeping her unconscious.
“What’ll you do if Mister Verdic finds out?”
With a forced smile on her lips, Carynne looked up at Dullan. Just hearing that she had spent his money on gambling like that was enough reason for Verdic to whip and tear her skin to shreds.
What would Verdic do the moment he’d find out that Dullan, who he had been relying on until now, was the one who put his daughter in that state to begin with?
Carynne had no doubt that he’d pick up that axe again.
“……”
Dullan kept his mouth shut as he glanced down at Carynne. Then, he answered.
“W-W-We’ll see each other again next year, o-of course.”
The answer wasn’t what she thought she’d hear. Carynne had been clutching the blanket on top of her until then, but it soon slipped out of her loosened grasp. That answer was something she never would have expected.
All too naturally, he answered in a way that acknowledged her repeated returns. His words did not hold his sense of responsibility as a priest and as a doctor. Even Carynne’s father had shown his doubts until the bitter end.
As though he had not a single shred of doubt about this, the apparent certainty seen on Dullan’s countenance made Carynne speechless. How could he believe it so entirely? What should she do now?
She was taken aback by the answer that was much too calm. However, her anger flared quietly within. Putting her all into smiling at the man, she opened her lips.
“…Oh my. Now that’s astonishing.”
Should she go ahead and strangle Dullan? Contemplating, Carynne eyed Dullan’s long, slender neck. When their eyes met, Dullan tucked his neck as he cowered.
Carynne pointed at Isella and asked.
“Why are you keeping Miss Isella unconscious?”
“…You, you tried to ki…kill her.”
“Yeah.”
“T-This woman did n-nothing wrong. She, doesn’t deserve to d-die.”
Carynne’s eyes went wide. His answer was strange.
“Do you love Miss Isella…? Mmh, no, that doesn’t sound right. Fine. Miss Isella is innocent. But she has to die. Mm… First, she believes that I committed murder… And her shoulder, I pricked it. Once she wakes up, she’s going to kill me. That’s why I wanted to kill her.”
Hearing Carynne’s response, Dullan stammered back a reply.
“I-I know. That’s why… I kept her unconscious. L-Leave her alone. Right now, this woman h-has left the st…stage.”
As Dullan glanced coldly down at Isella, it was difficult to assume that it was the gaze of either a saint or a man in love. Nevertheless, Dullan made it sound like he had been keeping Isella asleep just to protect her from Carynne. Even if he’d be in danger of getting killed by Verdic. The dubious good deed disgusted Carynne.
Noticing the look in Carynne’s eyes, Dullan spoke.
“Y-You don’t need to know the story.”
“……”
“Y-You’re going to start over anyway. I-I’m just… watching b-behind the scenes like this.”
Dullan replied to Carynne like so. His words were contradictory. His deed right now was both good and evil at the same time. Supposedly for the sake of protecting Isella from Carynne, he made the girl comatose.
However, he had no doubts about his actions. He just had this vague attitude of— If you want me to, I’ll do it. Or, I’ll sort it out, but I won’t be proactive about it.
Like someone who wasn’t on the stage, just someone in the audience. You can’t do this and that, but that’s not allowed either, and that, too, can’t be done. Oh, no, that’s too far. He had that kind of meddling attitude.
Did he feel that this was an obligation of his as a priest? But if he truly, utterly believed it, maybe he wouldn’t have gone only this far.
Carynne looked at Isella. She took out the pair of scissors hidden beneath a pillow, and while staring at Dullan, she pointed the scissors right at Isella’s pale neck.
“Then don’t stop me from killing Miss Isella either. If you believe—if you truly believe that I’ve been repeating the same life, then my sins will mean nothing in the end. You cannot stop me.”
For those who have stolen, offer lamb.
For those who have committed adultery, offer three young cattle.
For those who have assaulted another, offer a young mare.
For those who have murdered, offer your own life to atone for your sins.
The sole price a murderer can offer is his own death.
But what if the act of murder meant nothing? Carynne wondered about that. She was incapable of sinning. All of this was pure entertainment. That’s why she did all of that and felt no remorse at all. She had no regrets.
So, Carynne asked Dullan.
“Have I sinned?”
Dullan shook his head.
“Then don’t stop me.”
Yet still, Dullan grabbed Carynne’s arm. He still stopped her. Dullan looked perplexed. However, the grip of his hand was strong.
“If you believe, you have no reason to stop me.”
“B-But you don’t have a reason to kill e-either.”
“The reason is simple. I’m bored. Alright, you die then.”
“…H-How?”
He answered unhesitatingly.
And because of this, Carynne was sure now.
Got you.
Dullan really believes.
“I-In what way, do you want to d-do it?”
It seemed as though Dullan still hadn’t realized what subtext his words carried.
Let alone harbor love for her, Dullan considered Isella to be insignificant, and yet he was not afraid to die in place of her. Even if Carynne didn’t feel like killing someone here, this much was certain. Dullan believes. Very much so.
It wasn’t because Dullan was a saint, and neither was it due to love. It’s just that he was a man full of conviction.
“You. What do you know?”
Carynne clutched Dullan’s arm. He tried to shake off her grip, but she held him firmly. You think you can get away?
“What do you know?”
