Chapter 97
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trigger warning: non-consensual acts/sexual assault
—
The necklace had twelve rubies and dozens of diamonds on it. The twelve rubies themselves were surrounded by tiny diamonds in a flower-like design that was harmoniously beautiful.
The grade of the rubies was also simply the best. It was certainly a topnotch item that couldn’t be measured by mere price alone. Isella, even if she was Verdic’s daughter, wouldn’t have been able to get her hands on this.
It was something that only royalty could bestow. And at the same time, it’s not the kind of gift that would be given based on mere memory or sentiment—it’s something that would normally be given to one’s consort or mistress.
Carynne clutched her temples. When exactly did Crown Prince Gueuze start paying attention to her?
“How very obvious.”
She sighed and set the necklace down again. He was showing his greed in such a hurry. Wasn’t he acting like a thief who was trying to steal while the owner’s not around? He’s being too hasty. Too blatant.
“Whoa…”
In the middle of covering the necklace with cloth, Donna touched it with her fingertips, gawking at it. Then, she slowly stepped back. She seemed afraid to even just touch for no reason.
“You’ll be alright, Milady.”
“……”
Carynne chewed on her lower lip. She’s so incredibly tired that it’s killing her. Carynne couldn’t afford to even think about Crown Prince Gueuze right now. There’s so many other things plaguing her mind already. All she wished for was to spend this year going on a peaceful murdering spree, and yet that wish was like a distant dream now.
“Maybe it’s just because His Highness thinks of Milady as his own daughter, or maybe he’s thrilled just being able to recall Madam Catherine, or… something…”
Donna tried to look at things optimistically, however she shut herself up the moment she saw Carynne’s hardened expression. Donna wouldn’t have been able to say such a flowery thing if she had seen Crown Prince Gueuze. And that look in his eyes.
“He wants me to wear this and go to the palace tomorrow. I guess we’ll find out once I’m there.”
He’s not even giving her any time to think.
Crown Prince Gueuze was not an important character to Carynne. He wasn’t the one Catherine chose. Regardless of how much power he had or what he looked like, he held absolutely no value to Carynne. He wasn’t the answer—he’s just a side character.
“There’s too many characters.”
“Pardon?”
“Leave the stage.”
“Huh?”
Carynne waved towards Donna, who was just perplexed.
“Kidding. Anyway, it’s too complicated to get involved with a big shot. Besides…”
“Y-Yes?”
“Did you receive any telegrams from Sir Raymond?”
“It has only been one day that he… Um, no, there are none.”
Donna replied, going along with Carynne as she read the room.
But Raymond was originally meant to send a telegram today. That was one of the things about him that never changed, and yet she hadn’t heard from him. And tomorrow would be the third day, which was the day of his return. At the same time, it was the day that Crown Prince Gueuze wanted to see Carynne.
Tomorrow. Conflicted, Carynne glanced down at the invitation. However, what difference would her worries make in this situation?
“Right, there should be nothing to worry about. I was given a dress and a necklace right on time for the visit, too.”
“Yes, Milady.”
Carynne rubbed her forehead with one hand as she looked down at the dress and the necklace that the crown prince had sent. It was difficult to press down and hide the constant discomfort she was feeling. Carynne grew more anxious as she couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause of her unease.
Why did she feel so much dread just by the thought of facing Crown Prince Gueuze? It was something she had never experienced before, but it brought her so much trepidation.
* * *
When they soon met, Crown Prince Gueuze looked very pleased to see Carynne wearing the clothes he had given her. Through his lips, a satisfied croon slipped through.
“I knew it. It does suit you.”
“I express my gratitude for the gifts you’ve bestowed me, Your Highness.”
Why didn’t he just send her the necklace? Why bother with a dress like this? Carynne tried not to scoff. The dress he gave her was ancient not only in its design but even with its terrible function. It was the kind of dress that would have been in vogue two decades ago—flattened not only the waist but also the chest—and so Carynne was very sure that her face was as white as a sheet right now. Oh, but the man in front of her wouldn’t care about such a trifle.
“Catherine looked good in a dress like that, too. The dress she wore during her debutante was similar to that… All the women who debuted on the same year got not one single speck of attention because of Catherine. Everyone had eyes only for her.”
“……”
“Her waist was the thinnest as well. And her skin was the most radiant. Every move and every gesture she made was breathtaking.”
During that time, the beauty standard for women was to have a stick-thin figure, which included binding one’s chest. Make-up back then was paler as well because they applied products that contained mercury, which was now banned. For a moment, Carynne sent her sympathies to her mother, since her mother must have had a harder time than herself in that regard.
“That’s why I gifted her a lot of clothes… And they all looked good on her. Though she returned them all once she got married. She could have just taken them with her because they were gifts. I didn’t think that she’d go that far. I was really hurt.”
“…I shall receive these with gratitude.”
“Yes, and I’ll send you a few more.”
Carynne felt her eyelashes trembling. In an act to establish himself as a powerful man, Crown Prince Gueuze seemed to like controlling her. She had an inkling about this when he forced her to eat that time, but being certain about it now brought her no comfort. Carynne did not like how she was being controlled.
“It’s a shame that women don’t wear this kind of design these days. Everyone’s just trying to show their chests in such shallow ways. Once I ascend to the throne later, I’ll ban it.”
“I see.”
“Yes. And what’s your opinion about it?”
“I am still young, so I don’t know much about fashion.”
He didn’t even know how restrictive it was to have one’s chest bound like this as he was not subjected to it. And he didn’t need to know. What weight would her opinion hold here? She couldn’t even tell him frankly how weird this outfit looked. In a situation like this, the answer, ‘I don’t know,’ was the best.
“That answer is a good one.”
“……”
“…And a careful one.”
Carynne was sitting opposite him on a chair. She was hoping that he wouldn’t order her to raise her head. It’s annoying.
“Why do you think I called you?”
“……”
Aren’t you just obviously trying to drag me to bed as Catherine’s replacement?
But Carynne pressed down on the urge to spit this out. She’s not crazy enough just yet to say such a thing.
“You’re trembling.”
“……”
She couldn’t stop herself from shaking. Carynne tried to stop her eyes from doing so at least, but it was difficult. It was out of her control.
‘Why am I trembling?’
Carynne wondered to herself.
Why am I shaking? Because I’m afraid of dying? Or is it because I’m scared to betray Raymond by sleeping with Crown Prince Gueuze? A betrayal of love? But why do I feel so repulsed?
Why do I loathe this man.
Is it because I love Raymond?
“…Shh.”
Crown Prince Gueuze swept Carynne’s hair aside. Carynne wondered, really. What was this subtle unease—what was this disgust that she was feeling. Even when she had once been drugged and had been caressed and enjoyed and devoured by many amidst all chaos, or even when she had been forced into doing it with filthy men in the back alley, she had never felt a repulsive sensation as strong as this.
‘Why do I feel so dirty?’
Because Crown Prince Gueuze was old? However, when it came to encounters with nobility, it was more common than not to be entangled with older men rather than young men. And when dealing with the royal family, age did not matter any longer. Carynne also got involved with older men before. But it didn’t feel as nauseating as it did now.
Was it because she was being forced into it? But even back then when she had been physically beaten as she was being forced, she didn’t feel the same repugnance. She could even say that she could take everything in stride, no matter what kind of man it was.
“Mmph.”
Carynne did not know the reason, until Crown Prince Gueuze invaded her lips with his tongue.
“Y-Your Highness.”
It wasn’t because of fear. It wasn’t because of his age. And neither was it because of her love for Raymond.
“P-Please don’t do this.”
Because of that person.
The only one other than herself who she considered human. Not ink, not from this novel world, not comprised of words that meant nothing. The only real person who had lived a repetitive life just like herself.
Lady Catherine, her mother.
“If you honor my mother’s memory, please don’t do this.”
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trigger warning: non-consensual acts/sexual assault
—
The necklace had twelve rubies and dozens of diamonds on it. The twelve rubies themselves were surrounded by tiny diamonds in a flower-like design that was harmoniously beautiful.
The grade of the rubies was also simply the best. It was certainly a topnotch item that couldn’t be measured by mere price alone. Isella, even if she was Verdic’s daughter, wouldn’t have been able to get her hands on this.
It was something that only royalty could bestow. And at the same time, it’s not the kind of gift that would be given based on mere memory or sentiment—it’s something that would normally be given to one’s consort or mistress.
Carynne clutched her temples. When exactly did Crown Prince Gueuze start paying attention to her?
“How very obvious.”
She sighed and set the necklace down again. He was showing his greed in such a hurry. Wasn’t he acting like a thief who was trying to steal while the owner’s not around? He’s being too hasty. Too blatant.
“Whoa…”
In the middle of covering the necklace with cloth, Donna touched it with her fingertips, gawking at it. Then, she slowly stepped back. She seemed afraid to even just touch for no reason.
“You’ll be alright, Milady.”
“……”
Carynne chewed on her lower lip. She’s so incredibly tired that it’s killing her. Carynne couldn’t afford to even think about Crown Prince Gueuze right now. There’s so many other things plaguing her mind already. All she wished for was to spend this year going on a peaceful murdering spree, and yet that wish was like a distant dream now.
“Maybe it’s just because His Highness thinks of Milady as his own daughter, or maybe he’s thrilled just being able to recall Madam Catherine, or… something…”
Donna tried to look at things optimistically, however she shut herself up the moment she saw Carynne’s hardened expression. Donna wouldn’t have been able to say such a flowery thing if she had seen Crown Prince Gueuze. And that look in his eyes.
“He wants me to wear this and go to the palace tomorrow. I guess we’ll find out once I’m there.”
He’s not even giving her any time to think.
Crown Prince Gueuze was not an important character to Carynne. He wasn’t the one Catherine chose. Regardless of how much power he had or what he looked like, he held absolutely no value to Carynne. He wasn’t the answer—he’s just a side character.
“There’s too many characters.”
“Pardon?”
“Leave the stage.”
“Huh?”
Carynne waved towards Donna, who was just perplexed.
“Kidding. Anyway, it’s too complicated to get involved with a big shot. Besides…”
“Y-Yes?”
“Did you receive any telegrams from Sir Raymond?”
“It has only been one day that he… Um, no, there are none.”
Donna replied, going along with Carynne as she read the room.
But Raymond was originally meant to send a telegram today. That was one of the things about him that never changed, and yet she hadn’t heard from him. And tomorrow would be the third day, which was the day of his return. At the same time, it was the day that Crown Prince Gueuze wanted to see Carynne.
Tomorrow. Conflicted, Carynne glanced down at the invitation. However, what difference would her worries make in this situation?
“Right, there should be nothing to worry about. I was given a dress and a necklace right on time for the visit, too.”
“Yes, Milady.”
Carynne rubbed her forehead with one hand as she looked down at the dress and the necklace that the crown prince had sent. It was difficult to press down and hide the constant discomfort she was feeling. Carynne grew more anxious as she couldn’t pinpoint the exact cause of her unease.
Why did she feel so much dread just by the thought of facing Crown Prince Gueuze? It was something she had never experienced before, but it brought her so much trepidation.
* * *
When they soon met, Crown Prince Gueuze looked very pleased to see Carynne wearing the clothes he had given her. Through his lips, a satisfied croon slipped through.
“I knew it. It does suit you.”
“I express my gratitude for the gifts you’ve bestowed me, Your Highness.”
Why didn’t he just send her the necklace? Why bother with a dress like this? Carynne tried not to scoff. The dress he gave her was ancient not only in its design but even with its terrible function. It was the kind of dress that would have been in vogue two decades ago—flattened not only the waist but also the chest—and so Carynne was very sure that her face was as white as a sheet right now. Oh, but the man in front of her wouldn’t care about such a trifle.
“Catherine looked good in a dress like that, too. The dress she wore during her debutante was similar to that… All the women who debuted on the same year got not one single speck of attention because of Catherine. Everyone had eyes only for her.”
“……”
“Her waist was the thinnest as well. And her skin was the most radiant. Every move and every gesture she made was breathtaking.”
During that time, the beauty standard for women was to have a stick-thin figure, which included binding one’s chest. Make-up back then was paler as well because they applied products that contained mercury, which was now banned. For a moment, Carynne sent her sympathies to her mother, since her mother must have had a harder time than herself in that regard.
“That’s why I gifted her a lot of clothes… And they all looked good on her. Though she returned them all once she got married. She could have just taken them with her because they were gifts. I didn’t think that she’d go that far. I was really hurt.”
“…I shall receive these with gratitude.”
“Yes, and I’ll send you a few more.”
Carynne felt her eyelashes trembling. In an act to establish himself as a powerful man, Crown Prince Gueuze seemed to like controlling her. She had an inkling about this when he forced her to eat that time, but being certain about it now brought her no comfort. Carynne did not like how she was being controlled.
“It’s a shame that women don’t wear this kind of design these days. Everyone’s just trying to show their chests in such shallow ways. Once I ascend to the throne later, I’ll ban it.”
“I see.”
“Yes. And what’s your opinion about it?”
“I am still young, so I don’t know much about fashion.”
He didn’t even know how restrictive it was to have one’s chest bound like this as he was not subjected to it. And he didn’t need to know. What weight would her opinion hold here? She couldn’t even tell him frankly how weird this outfit looked. In a situation like this, the answer, ‘I don’t know,’ was the best.
“That answer is a good one.”
“……”
“…And a careful one.”
Carynne was sitting opposite him on a chair. She was hoping that he wouldn’t order her to raise her head. It’s annoying.
“Why do you think I called you?”
“……”
Aren’t you just obviously trying to drag me to bed as Catherine’s replacement?
But Carynne pressed down on the urge to spit this out. She’s not crazy enough just yet to say such a thing.
“You’re trembling.”
“……”
She couldn’t stop herself from shaking. Carynne tried to stop her eyes from doing so at least, but it was difficult. It was out of her control.
‘Why am I trembling?’
Carynne wondered to herself.
Why am I shaking? Because I’m afraid of dying? Or is it because I’m scared to betray Raymond by sleeping with Crown Prince Gueuze? A betrayal of love? But why do I feel so repulsed?
Why do I loathe this man.
Is it because I love Raymond?
“…Shh.”
Crown Prince Gueuze swept Carynne’s hair aside. Carynne wondered, really. What was this subtle unease—what was this disgust that she was feeling. Even when she had once been drugged and had been caressed and enjoyed and devoured by many amidst all chaos, or even when she had been forced into doing it with filthy men in the back alley, she had never felt a repulsive sensation as strong as this.
‘Why do I feel so dirty?’
Because Crown Prince Gueuze was old? However, when it came to encounters with nobility, it was more common than not to be entangled with older men rather than young men. And when dealing with the royal family, age did not matter any longer. Carynne also got involved with older men before. But it didn’t feel as nauseating as it did now.
Was it because she was being forced into it? But even back then when she had been physically beaten as she was being forced, she didn’t feel the same repugnance. She could even say that she could take everything in stride, no matter what kind of man it was.
“Mmph.”
Carynne did not know the reason, until Crown Prince Gueuze invaded her lips with his tongue.
“Y-Your Highness.”
It wasn’t because of fear. It wasn’t because of his age. And neither was it because of her love for Raymond.
“P-Please don’t do this.”
Because of that person.
The only one other than herself who she considered human. Not ink, not from this novel world, not comprised of words that meant nothing. The only real person who had lived a repetitive life just like herself.
Lady Catherine, her mother.
“If you honor my mother’s memory, please don’t do this.”
trigger warning: non-consensual acts/sexual assaultThe necklace had twelve rubies and dozens of diamonds on it. The twelve rubies themselves were surrounded by tiny diamonds in a flower-like design that was harmoniously beautiful.The grade of the rubies was also simply the best. It was certainly a topnotch item that couldn't be measured by mere price alone. Isella, even if she was Verdic's daughter, wouldn't have been able to get her hands on this.It was something that only royalty could bestow. And at the same time, it's not the kind of gift that would be given based on mere memory or sentimentit's something that would normally be given to one's consort or mistress.Carynne clutched her temples. When exactly did Crown Prince Gueuze start paying attention to her?How very obvious.She sighed and set the necklace down again. He was showing his greed in such a hurry. Wasn't he acting like a thief who was trying to steal while the owner's not around? He's being too hasty. Too blatant.WhoaIn the middle of covering the necklace with cloth, Donna touched it with her fingertips, gawking at it. Then, she slowly stepped back. She seemed afraid to even just touch for no reason.You'll be alright, Milady.Carynne chewed on her lower lip. She's so incredibly tired that it's killing her. Carynne couldn't afford to even think about Crown Prince Gueuze right now. There's so many other things plaguing her mind already. All she wished for was to spend this year going on a peaceful murdering spree, and yet that wish was like a distant dream now.Maybe it's just because His Highness thinks of Milady as his own daughter, or maybe he's thrilled just being able to recall Madam Catherine, or somethingDonna tried to look at things optimistically, however she shut herself up the moment she saw Carynne's hardened expression. Donna wouldn't have been able to say such a flowery thing if she had seen Crown Prince Gueuze. And that look in his eyes.He wants me to wear this and go to the palace tomorrow. I guess we'll find out once I'm there.He's not even giving her any time to think.Crown Prince Gueuze was not an important character to Carynne. He wasn't the one Catherine chose. Regardless of how much power he had or what he looked like, he held absolutely no value to Carynne. He wasn't the answerhe's just a side character.There's too many characters.Pardon?Leave the stage.Huh?Carynne waved towards Donna, who was just perplexed.Kidding. Anyway, it's too complicated to get involved with a big shot. BesidesY-Yes?Did you receive any telegrams from Sir Raymond?It has only been one day that he Um, no, there are none.Donna replied, going along with Carynne as she read the room.But Raymond was originally meant to send a telegram today. That was one of the things about him that never changed, and yet she hadn't heard from him. And tomorrow would be the third day, which was the day of his return. At the same time, it was the day that Crown Prince Gueuze wanted to see Carynne.Tomorrow. Conflicted, Carynne glanced down at the invitation. However, what difference would her worries make in this situation?Right, there should be nothing to worry about. I was given a dress and a necklace right on time for the visit, too.Yes, Milady.Carynne rubbed her forehead with one hand as she looked down at the dress and the necklace that the crown prince had sent. It was difficult to press down and hide the constant discomfort she was feeling. Carynne grew more anxious as she couldn't pinpoint the exact cause of her unease.Why did she feel so much dread just by the thought of facing Crown Prince Gueuze? It was something she had never experienced before, but it brought her so much trepidation.* * *When they soon met, Crown Prince Gueuze looked very pleased to see Carynne wearing the clothes he had given her. Through his lips, a satisfied croon slipped through.I knew it. It does suit you.I express my gratitude for the gifts you've bestowed me, Your Highness.Why didn't he just send her the necklace? Why bother with a dress like this? Carynne tried not to scoff. The dress he gave her was ancient not only in its design but even with its terrible function. It was the kind of dress that would have been in vogue two decades agoflattened not only the waist but also the chestand so Carynne was very sure that her face was as white as a sheet right now. Oh, but the man in front of her wouldn't care about such a trifle.Catherine looked good in a dress like that, too. The dress she wore during her debutante was similar to that All the women who debuted on the same year got not one single speck of attention because of Catherine. Everyone had eyes only for her.Her waist was the thinnest as well. And her skin was the most radiant. Every move and every gesture she made was breathtaking.During that time, the beauty standard for women was to have a stick-thin figure, which included binding one's chest. Make-up back then was paler as well because they applied products that contained mercury, which was now banned. For a moment, Carynne sent her sympathies to her mother, since her mother must have had a harder time than herself in that regard.That's why I gifted her a lot of clothes And they all looked good on her. Though she returned them all once she got married. She could have just taken them with her because they were gifts. I didn't think that she'd go that far. I was really hurt.I shall receive these with gratitude.Yes, and I'll send you a few more.Carynne felt her eyelashes trembling. In an act to establish himself as a powerful man, Crown Prince Gueuze seemed to like controlling her. She had an inkling about this when he forced her to eat that time, but being certain about it now brought her no comfort. Carynne did not like how she was being controlled.It's a shame that women don't wear this kind of design these days. Everyone's just trying to show their chests in such shallow ways. Once I ascend to the throne later, I'll ban it.I see.Yes. And what's your opinion about it?I am still young, so I don't know much about fashion.He didn't even know how restrictive it was to have one's chest bound like this as he was not subjected to it. And he didn't need to know. What weight would her opinion hold here? She couldn't even tell him frankly how weird this outfit looked. In a situation like this, the answer, I don't know,' was the best.That answer is a good one.And a careful one.Carynne was sitting opposite him on a chair. She was hoping that he wouldn't order her to raise her head. It's annoying.Why do you think I called you?Aren't you just obviously trying to drag me to bed as Catherine's replacement?But Carynne pressed down on the urge to spit this out. She's not crazy enough just yet to say such a thing.You're trembling.She couldn't stop herself from shaking. Carynne tried to stop her eyes from doing so at least, but it was difficult. It was out of her control.Why am I trembling?'Carynne wondered to herself.WhyamI shaking? Because I'm afraid of dying? Or is it because I'm scared to betray Raymond by sleeping with Crown Prince Gueuze? A betrayal of love? But why do I feel so repulsed?Why do I loathe this man.Is it because I love Raymond?Shh.Crown Prince Gueuze swept Carynne's hair aside. Carynne wondered, really. What was this subtle uneasewhat was thisdisgustthat she was feeling. Even when she had once been drugged and had been caressed and enjoyed and devoured by many amidst all chaos, or even when she had been forced into doing it with filthy men in the back alley, she had never felt a repulsive sensation as strong as this.Why do I feel so dirty?'Because Crown Prince Gueuze was old? However, when it came to encounters with nobility, it was more common than not to be entangled with older men rather than young men. And when dealing with the royal family, age did not matter any longer. Carynne also got involved with older men before. But it didn't feel as nauseating as it did now.Was it because she was being forced into it? But even back then when she had been physically beaten as she was being forced, she didn't feel the same repugnance. She could even say that she could take everything in stride, no matter what kind of man it was.Mmph.Carynne did not know the reason, until Crown Prince Gueuze invaded her lips with his tongue.Y-Your Highness.It wasn't because of fear. It wasn't because of his age. And neither was it because of her love for Raymond.P-Please don't do this.Because of that person.The only one other than herself who she considered human. Not ink, not from this novel world, not comprised of words that meant nothing. The only real person who had lived a repetitive life just like herself.Lady Catherine, her mother.If you honor my mother's memory, please don't do this.
