Mila
“Of course there is something wrong with you.” From her tone, Mila could tell Nana Xara was smiling. “You’re human, or at least you still see yourself as one. The death of one person you’re close to will hurt a lot more than thousands of strangers. And that’s just how humans are.
“The people killed in the first and second challenges during the tutorial were mostly innocents, especially those killed during the first round of the first challenge, so you felt something. Those you killed during the third challenge didn’t exist, so you didn’t care. And, finally, those you killed before the tutorial were mostly people you studied for weeks and sometimes even slept with, so of course you felt closer to them than the inhuman beastman you targeted here.”
“You’re not a monster, Mila. Well, technically you are in English, but most languages in the universe split those concepts a bit more.” Nana Xara paused for a second. “My main point is your psychology isn’t all that different compared to most soldiers after a few years of war, at least those with good training.”
“There are some concerning things you need to watch out for, such as being desensitized to the deaths and suffering of people your morals tell you you should care about, but your current attitude of looking at the whole and trying to make things better overall is quite healthy.”
“You’re stressed about Aalam, so you aren’t having as much fun as you normally would, but for that you probably just need time.
“The main thing you should worry about is that you haven’t slept in weeks. Letting your individual minds rest for 7 hours each day in rotation doesn’t count. Even with the Multi-Mind skill, you need to sleep at least one night every 7 days or so.”
Mila thought about it for a second, thinking back to some conversations she’d had with Aalam on the topic back before the integration. Aalam wasn’t like her. Despite her training and life experiences, her psychology was mostly normal. There was nothing intrinsic about her which made it difficult to function in normal society. Despite her job before the integration, she wasn’t even a psychopath, her ability to easily lie a result of years of training rather than a lack of caring about other people.
Aalam was different. He was born autistic and, as a result, was overly rational by default. According to him, he viewed a million as a statistic just like everyone else, but the difference was he valued statistics more. For him, for example, it was easy to ignore one homeless person on a street, but it was nearly impossible to ignore the statistics about homeless people in the United States.
When the pandemics started, Earth benefited from that attitude of his. He’d dropped the valuable contracts he’d been working on, angering quite a few powerful individuals, and focused his energy on stopping the plagues, becoming incredibly energized by the thought of helping millions or possibly billions of people.
Aalam would view what she’d just done from a macro lens, and he would approve. Sure, the rebel leader had killed quite a few people while he’d been under her power, and, sure, if she’d focused on it, she could have stopped quite a few crimes during those two weeks. But the end result was what mattered and she’d gotten rid of pretty much all the scum in an entire area, the number of future crimes she stopped far, far higher than the number she could have through more traditionally heroic actions.
Yes, she wasn’t a good person, but she didn’t quite meet the criteria for a villain either.
“Thanks, Nana Xara. Please tell me if I ever seem to stop caring.”
She worked to stabilize everyone in the former prison, the loss of one good F rank worth quite a bit on the macro scale, then she went and hid in an abandoned house, allowing herself to fall asleep.
The next day she could feel the difference, finding herself able to think much clearer, and, after going to work on healing the former prisoners again, she summoned Roland to see her.
“It should take me about 4 days to heal everyone here.” Mila didn’t look up when she felt Roland enter, but she did smile, and her tone was less serious. “Before I leave, could you get me the scouting reports for the area. It doesn’t sound like there are any other invasion forces nearby, which makes sense given the undead, but I should probably be a bit more aware of the power distribution in the nearby regions even if I’m going to leave.”
Roland left for a few minutes and then came back with a map of the continent, which he laid out on a table next to the smaller table where she was healing a patient. “We’re in the Voranin Region here,” he said pointing at a section of forest on the map when he could see she was looking. Then he pointed at a dot on the map to the northeast. “Eshna is here, in the Folanin Region.”
He then pointed to a mountain range to the east of both regions. “The Eastern Mountains block normal passage to the east. Cultivators can cross, but the scouts report the monsters there are stronger than in the forest and the mana density is lower, making resource regeneration slower.”
“The mana is flowing more strongly into the beasts, lowering the amount in the atmosphere,” Mila explained, briefly looking back to her patient. “From what I read in my tutorial it is a natural effect, converting the mana into a form monster cores are able to convert into primal energy. It’s nowhere near as efficient as killing things, but it allows monsters to passively level up.”
In reality, she’d learned that from Nana Xara about a week into arriving on Hira, but she wasn’t going to tell Roland about Nana Xara’s existence as there were only detriments to doing so.
“Oh.” Roland paused to think for several seconds, but then he continued.
“Well, it is unlikely many cultivators would go through the mountains. Almost no one is as stealthy as you are and it would be incredibly unsafe.” Roland then pointed to the area north of the Folanin Region on the map. “To the north of the region where our Territory is located is unclaimed lands. The Empire’s population was only so big and no one ever claimed the lands to the north. There is known to be the start of the Goran River, which flows from the Eastern Mountains all the way to the sea in the west, but not much else.”
He then pointed to the west of the Folanin region. “The Ashen Mistress erupted about forty years ago and the wind was blowing west, so it sprayed ash all over this area, causing it to be pretty much uninhabited as well.” The dormant volcano known as the Ashen Mistress was to the middle of the Folanin region, about 20 kilometers to the west of Eshna. “The parts of the Folanin region to the west of the mountain were resettled during the last ten years with several villages, but no one bothered with this unnamed area as the Coran Trees, whose fruit produce a nice spice, don’t grow there.”
He then pointed to the south of the Voranin region, where they currently were. “The Tilanin Region here is about as populated as the Voranin region, but all the beastmen from there moved up here during the first month after the tutorial. It’s currently governed by several neutral powers and we’re thinking of sending diplomatic envoys to these cities.” He pointed out three cities in the region on the map and then an extension of the Eastern Mountain range to the south of the region. “To its south is more of the Eastern Mountain range.”
Then he pointed to the west of the Voranin region. “Finally, the Korithanin Region.” He pointed to a river which flowed out of the Eastern Mountain range, through the Korithanin Region and then further down south before turning east after the Eastern Mountain range stopped. “It contains the start of the Royal River, which flows all the way to Raphaiya, the Empire’s capital, far to the east. As a result, it is the entry way to the area we control, but sadly it is currently ruled by one of the Five Generals.”
He pointed at a mark in the northwest of the continent. “This is where you want to go. I’ll get a copy of the map made and get it to you in the next couple days.”
“Alright.” Mila briefly looked over the map. “I’ll assassinate that general for you on the way. You can make your plans assuming he’ll be killed in five days.”
“Thanks.” Roland breathed out a sigh of relief, quite obviously having wanted to ask her to kill the general but uncomfortable asking for another favor. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
“Likely hunting by yourself in the Eastern Mountains,” Mila spoke jovially as she returned her eyes to her patient, “training to get revenge for the deaths of your party.”
There was a shift in Roland’s aura, the previously happy emotions changed to more stern thoughts, and Mila looked up at him. “Roland, focus on expanding your Territory if you want to help me. You don’t bring nothing to this partnership. At the same time, though, don’t stop focusing on becoming stronger. Your Law Egg has advanced to middle grade, but that makes you talented only by Hira’s standards. Keep training like your life depends on it, because it does.”
Roland looked at her for several seconds, saw what she was doing even while they talked, and then nodded. She could feel through his aura as his resolved firmed up again.
Then he left and she continued to practice with her life element Laws.
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Mila
“Of course there is something wrong with you.” From her tone, Mila could tell Nana Xara was smiling. “You’re human, or at least you still see yourself as one. The death of one person you’re close to will hurt a lot more than thousands of strangers. And that’s just how humans are.
“The people killed in the first and second challenges during the tutorial were mostly innocents, especially those killed during the first round of the first challenge, so you felt something. Those you killed during the third challenge didn’t exist, so you didn’t care. And, finally, those you killed before the tutorial were mostly people you studied for weeks and sometimes even slept with, so of course you felt closer to them than the inhuman beastman you targeted here.”
“You’re not a monster, Mila. Well, technically you are in English, but most languages in the universe split those concepts a bit more.” Nana Xara paused for a second. “My main point is your psychology isn’t all that different compared to most soldiers after a few years of war, at least those with good training.”
“There are some concerning things you need to watch out for, such as being desensitized to the deaths and suffering of people your morals tell you you should care about, but your current attitude of looking at the whole and trying to make things better overall is quite healthy.”
“You’re stressed about Aalam, so you aren’t having as much fun as you normally would, but for that you probably just need time.
“The main thing you should worry about is that you haven’t slept in weeks. Letting your individual minds rest for 7 hours each day in rotation doesn’t count. Even with the Multi-Mind skill, you need to sleep at least one night every 7 days or so.”
Mila thought about it for a second, thinking back to some conversations she’d had with Aalam on the topic back before the integration. Aalam wasn’t like her. Despite her training and life experiences, her psychology was mostly normal. There was nothing intrinsic about her which made it difficult to function in normal society. Despite her job before the integration, she wasn’t even a psychopath, her ability to easily lie a result of years of training rather than a lack of caring about other people.
Aalam was different. He was born autistic and, as a result, was overly rational by default. According to him, he viewed a million as a statistic just like everyone else, but the difference was he valued statistics more. For him, for example, it was easy to ignore one homeless person on a street, but it was nearly impossible to ignore the statistics about homeless people in the United States.
When the pandemics started, Earth benefited from that attitude of his. He’d dropped the valuable contracts he’d been working on, angering quite a few powerful individuals, and focused his energy on stopping the plagues, becoming incredibly energized by the thought of helping millions or possibly billions of people.
Aalam would view what she’d just done from a macro lens, and he would approve. Sure, the rebel leader had killed quite a few people while he’d been under her power, and, sure, if she’d focused on it, she could have stopped quite a few crimes during those two weeks. But the end result was what mattered and she’d gotten rid of pretty much all the scum in an entire area, the number of future crimes she stopped far, far higher than the number she could have through more traditionally heroic actions.
Yes, she wasn’t a good person, but she didn’t quite meet the criteria for a villain either.
“Thanks, Nana Xara. Please tell me if I ever seem to stop caring.”
She worked to stabilize everyone in the former prison, the loss of one good F rank worth quite a bit on the macro scale, then she went and hid in an abandoned house, allowing herself to fall asleep.
The next day she could feel the difference, finding herself able to think much clearer, and, after going to work on healing the former prisoners again, she summoned Roland to see her.
“It should take me about 4 days to heal everyone here.” Mila didn’t look up when she felt Roland enter, but she did smile, and her tone was less serious. “Before I leave, could you get me the scouting reports for the area. It doesn’t sound like there are any other invasion forces nearby, which makes sense given the undead, but I should probably be a bit more aware of the power distribution in the nearby regions even if I’m going to leave.”
Roland left for a few minutes and then came back with a map of the continent, which he laid out on a table next to the smaller table where she was healing a patient. “We’re in the Voranin Region here,” he said pointing at a section of forest on the map when he could see she was looking. Then he pointed at a dot on the map to the northeast. “Eshna is here, in the Folanin Region.”
He then pointed to a mountain range to the east of both regions. “The Eastern Mountains block normal passage to the east. Cultivators can cross, but the scouts report the monsters there are stronger than in the forest and the mana density is lower, making resource regeneration slower.”
“The mana is flowing more strongly into the beasts, lowering the amount in the atmosphere,” Mila explained, briefly looking back to her patient. “From what I read in my tutorial it is a natural effect, converting the mana into a form monster cores are able to convert into primal energy. It’s nowhere near as efficient as killing things, but it allows monsters to passively level up.”
In reality, she’d learned that from Nana Xara about a week into arriving on Hira, but she wasn’t going to tell Roland about Nana Xara’s existence as there were only detriments to doing so.
“Oh.” Roland paused to think for several seconds, but then he continued.
“Well, it is unlikely many cultivators would go through the mountains. Almost no one is as stealthy as you are and it would be incredibly unsafe.” Roland then pointed to the area north of the Folanin Region on the map. “To the north of the region where our Territory is located is unclaimed lands. The Empire’s population was only so big and no one ever claimed the lands to the north. There is known to be the start of the Goran River, which flows from the Eastern Mountains all the way to the sea in the west, but not much else.”
He then pointed to the west of the Folanin region. “The Ashen Mistress erupted about forty years ago and the wind was blowing west, so it sprayed ash all over this area, causing it to be pretty much uninhabited as well.” The dormant volcano known as the Ashen Mistress was to the middle of the Folanin region, about 20 kilometers to the west of Eshna. “The parts of the Folanin region to the west of the mountain were resettled during the last ten years with several villages, but no one bothered with this unnamed area as the Coran Trees, whose fruit produce a nice spice, don’t grow there.”
He then pointed to the south of the Voranin region, where they currently were. “The Tilanin Region here is about as populated as the Voranin region, but all the beastmen from there moved up here during the first month after the tutorial. It’s currently governed by several neutral powers and we’re thinking of sending diplomatic envoys to these cities.” He pointed out three cities in the region on the map and then an extension of the Eastern Mountain range to the south of the region. “To its south is more of the Eastern Mountain range.”
Then he pointed to the west of the Voranin region. “Finally, the Korithanin Region.” He pointed to a river which flowed out of the Eastern Mountain range, through the Korithanin Region and then further down south before turning east after the Eastern Mountain range stopped. “It contains the start of the Royal River, which flows all the way to Raphaiya, the Empire’s capital, far to the east. As a result, it is the entry way to the area we control, but sadly it is currently ruled by one of the Five Generals.”
He pointed at a mark in the northwest of the continent. “This is where you want to go. I’ll get a copy of the map made and get it to you in the next couple days.”
“Alright.” Mila briefly looked over the map. “I’ll assassinate that general for you on the way. You can make your plans assuming he’ll be killed in five days.”
“Thanks.” Roland breathed out a sigh of relief, quite obviously having wanted to ask her to kill the general but uncomfortable asking for another favor. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
“Likely hunting by yourself in the Eastern Mountains,” Mila spoke jovially as she returned her eyes to her patient, “training to get revenge for the deaths of your party.”
There was a shift in Roland’s aura, the previously happy emotions changed to more stern thoughts, and Mila looked up at him. “Roland, focus on expanding your Territory if you want to help me. You don’t bring nothing to this partnership. At the same time, though, don’t stop focusing on becoming stronger. Your Law Egg has advanced to middle grade, but that makes you talented only by Hira’s standards. Keep training like your life depends on it, because it does.”
Roland looked at her for several seconds, saw what she was doing even while they talked, and then nodded. She could feel through his aura as his resolved firmed up again.
Then he left and she continued to practice with her life element Laws.
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