Chapter 1362: Similarity
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"Hey, Ruki. If I change and stop acting behind the mask of my smile in front of everyone, will you continue staying by my side?"
A long time ago, Hana asked me that question. I never answered that. Because for the Ruki of that past, it didn't matter whether the girl enacted a change in her character. I was a simple-minded guy who only wanted one thing from her. The fulfillment of my desire.
After three years, I remembered that question after watching the girl look so lost on what to do.
For sure, that's a temporary state. Like Chii said, she's an obstinate girl who would hold onto her belief until the end. Or until she deemed it impossible.
I mean, she gave up convincing me to keep her by my side back then. Although that could be attributed to my firm decision to cut them off, Hana never showed up in front of me to try and change it. That meant she accepted the reality that she would just fail.
I am curious to know if she's still waiting for my answer to that question. Maybe she has also forgotten about it. Who knows?
One thing though.
I found the urge to step up and guide her to an answer.
However, if I acted on that urge, it would basically undermine Chii's decision.
Is it complicated? Not really. Because there's a clear line that I've drawn between the two girls.
With that, I dropped the notion of guiding Hana and simply turned my attention to the girl in my arms.
Hana's house was farther than mine anyway. She had plenty of time to decide. Since we were going to meet with Hifumi at the station next to the one closest to our house, she could wait until we arrived there.
A while later, when the train reached its first stop from where we rode, we finally got empty seats.
I moved quickly and secured the seats closest to us and pulled Chii to my side.
As for Hana, the girl was still wandering in her thoughts, so she remained in that corner.
If someone bothered her, I could reach her easily so I wasn't that worried.
Noticing the gloominess accumulating above the fake gyaru's head, I reached in and poked her soft cheek, gaining her attention.
"Hmm? Why are you wearing the same face as her? Do you regret saying that?"
"Kii… A little."
A little, huh? That's not how it looks to me. But whatever, it's my job to cheer her up.
"I know you're not asking for my opinion but hear me out. You did great, Chii. There's nothing wrong with what you did."
"Great? I gave up on convincing her, how is that great?"
As expected, that's what she's concerned about… She might've put on a gyaru mask and acted like one but deep inside, she's still the same Chii. The clumsy girl who's too kind for her own good.
I stopped poking her cheek and pulled her head to lean on my shoulder. My hand then gently caressed her hair, brushing it with my fingers. Little by little, her worry-filled expression relaxed.
"Chii, I'm referring to knowing the limits of pushing your idea to someone. That part is what's great. You successfully realized that by continuing to string her along with you, she's just going to continue being adamant about her decision. Now, you've given her the ability to make her own choice while also putting yourself out there for her."
"... That sounds like what you did with us. Giving us choices and acting on what we choose."
She's not wrong on that. That's how I mostly operated. But there were times when I would pretty much be as forceful as I could get, treading the boundary of what I deemed acceptable and not.
"Yeah. It is pretty similar. That's why I see it as a great thing. Hana will come around. We'll just have to wait."
That's kind of an optimistic view but that's better than being negative about it. Besides, if Hana didn't have any inclination to meet them, she wouldn't let herself be dragged by the girl.
She's not someone weak to pressure, after all. Even when I was trying to steal her back then, she never lost composure. In fact, she probably just went along with me and I was blinded enough by my interpretation of my desire to see it.
Spending the next few minutes conversing silently with Chii around that topic, the girl eventually calmed down and switched to an affectionate mood where she simply enjoyed snuggling with me.
And true to what I told Chii, the obstinate girl at the corner soon moved from her position. She took the seat next to me when it opened up after we arrived at the next station.
Nonetheless, there was no indication that she already made her decision. She refused to glance at Chii but not at me.
Linking her arms with mine, she then stealthily searched for my hand and held it beneath the cover of her bag. And in a very subdued voice as if she was afraid for Chii to hear it, she whispered, "Help me understand, Ruki. When I said I never treated them as friends. I mean it. Why do Chizuru and you think otherwise? In my life, you're the only person I consider to have reached that level of importance."
This girl… How should I interpret this? Rather than arriving at an answer on what she wanted to do, she fell back on the reason why Chii and Hifumi were fixated on her.
From the tone of her voice that's devoid of any falseness, she's more or less being truthful with this. If that's the case then… Chii and I were the ones who assumed that she just couldn't be honest.
Nonetheless, there's a nagging feeling inside of me that somehow pointed to my similarity to Hana.
And that was…
"Remember how I was in the past? This clueless idiot was unaware of my feelings for every girl that I got involved with, including Chii, Hifumi, and you. I convinced myself that it was all for my desire. However, look at me, I have proven myself wrong…" I put on a defeated smile which Hana fully captured in her eyes. She focused on me, perhaps trying to understand what I was saying.
While she's busy on that, I continued, "I'm not you so I can't really dictate what you should feel about them. But Hana, just this one time, looks at this from a different perspective. Why did you let yourself be dragged around by Chii? If it's, I doubt you'll let anyone aside from me string you along."
Because I didn't lower the volume of my voice the same as she did, Chii also heard it. She raised her head to look at me for a moment before turning to Hana, her expression longing for the girl's answer.
For the second time during this trip, Hana was stumped for an answer. Her mouth closed and opened a few times but no words came out of it. And in the end, she lowered her head, resulting in her only visible eye also being covered by her hair.
Whether that's a silent confirmation or not, I couldn't be sure.
Unluckily, someone else showed up from the neighboring car train who instantly recognized me and Chii, interrupting the heavy mood created around us.
"Ah! Ruki-senpai, Chii-chan-senpai and… huh? What kind of situation did I run into?"
Yep, it's none other than the hyper-energetic number one Asahi fan. Her forehead creased upon noticing the other girl at my side. Obviously, she focused more on how close the girl was and why Chii and I were looking at Hana.
Our joined hands were still hidden beneath Hana's bag.
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"Hey, Ruki. If I change and stop acting behind the mask of my smile in front of everyone, will you continue staying by my side?"
A long time ago, Hana asked me that question. I never answered that. Because for the Ruki of that past, it didn't matter whether the girl enacted a change in her character. I was a simple-minded guy who only wanted one thing from her. The fulfillment of my desire.
After three years, I remembered that question after watching the girl look so lost on what to do.
For sure, that's a temporary state. Like Chii said, she's an obstinate girl who would hold onto her belief until the end. Or until she deemed it impossible.
I mean, she gave up convincing me to keep her by my side back then. Although that could be attributed to my firm decision to cut them off, Hana never showed up in front of me to try and change it. That meant she accepted the reality that she would just fail.
I am curious to know if she's still waiting for my answer to that question. Maybe she has also forgotten about it. Who knows?
One thing though.
I found the urge to step up and guide her to an answer.
However, if I acted on that urge, it would basically undermine Chii's decision.
Is it complicated? Not really. Because there's a clear line that I've drawn between the two girls.
With that, I dropped the notion of guiding Hana and simply turned my attention to the girl in my arms.
Hana's house was farther than mine anyway. She had plenty of time to decide. Since we were going to meet with Hifumi at the station next to the one closest to our house, she could wait until we arrived there.
A while later, when the train reached its first stop from where we rode, we finally got empty seats.
I moved quickly and secured the seats closest to us and pulled Chii to my side.
As for Hana, the girl was still wandering in her thoughts, so she remained in that corner.
If someone bothered her, I could reach her easily so I wasn't that worried.
Noticing the gloominess accumulating above the fake gyaru's head, I reached in and poked her soft cheek, gaining her attention.
"Hmm? Why are you wearing the same face as her? Do you regret saying that?"
"Kii… A little."
A little, huh? That's not how it looks to me. But whatever, it's my job to cheer her up.
"I know you're not asking for my opinion but hear me out. You did great, Chii. There's nothing wrong with what you did."
"Great? I gave up on convincing her, how is that great?"
As expected, that's what she's concerned about… She might've put on a gyaru mask and acted like one but deep inside, she's still the same Chii. The clumsy girl who's too kind for her own good.
I stopped poking her cheek and pulled her head to lean on my shoulder. My hand then gently caressed her hair, brushing it with my fingers. Little by little, her worry-filled expression relaxed.
"Chii, I'm referring to knowing the limits of pushing your idea to someone. That part is what's great. You successfully realized that by continuing to string her along with you, she's just going to continue being adamant about her decision. Now, you've given her the ability to make her own choice while also putting yourself out there for her."
"... That sounds like what you did with us. Giving us choices and acting on what we choose."
She's not wrong on that. That's how I mostly operated. But there were times when I would pretty much be as forceful as I could get, treading the boundary of what I deemed acceptable and not.
"Yeah. It is pretty similar. That's why I see it as a great thing. Hana will come around. We'll just have to wait."
That's kind of an optimistic view but that's better than being negative about it. Besides, if Hana didn't have any inclination to meet them, she wouldn't let herself be dragged by the girl.
She's not someone weak to pressure, after all. Even when I was trying to steal her back then, she never lost composure. In fact, she probably just went along with me and I was blinded enough by my interpretation of my desire to see it.
Spending the next few minutes conversing silently with Chii around that topic, the girl eventually calmed down and switched to an affectionate mood where she simply enjoyed snuggling with me.
And true to what I told Chii, the obstinate girl at the corner soon moved from her position. She took the seat next to me when it opened up after we arrived at the next station.
Nonetheless, there was no indication that she already made her decision. She refused to glance at Chii but not at me.
Linking her arms with mine, she then stealthily searched for my hand and held it beneath the cover of her bag. And in a very subdued voice as if she was afraid for Chii to hear it, she whispered, "Help me understand, Ruki. When I said I never treated them as friends. I mean it. Why do Chizuru and you think otherwise? In my life, you're the only person I consider to have reached that level of importance."
This girl… How should I interpret this? Rather than arriving at an answer on what she wanted to do, she fell back on the reason why Chii and Hifumi were fixated on her.
From the tone of her voice that's devoid of any falseness, she's more or less being truthful with this. If that's the case then… Chii and I were the ones who assumed that she just couldn't be honest.
Nonetheless, there's a nagging feeling inside of me that somehow pointed to my similarity to Hana.
And that was…
"Remember how I was in the past? This clueless idiot was unaware of my feelings for every girl that I got involved with, including Chii, Hifumi, and you. I convinced myself that it was all for my desire. However, look at me, I have proven myself wrong…" I put on a defeated smile which Hana fully captured in her eyes. She focused on me, perhaps trying to understand what I was saying.
While she's busy on that, I continued, "I'm not you so I can't really dictate what you should feel about them. But Hana, just this one time, looks at this from a different perspective. Why did you let yourself be dragged around by Chii? If it's, I doubt you'll let anyone aside from me string you along."
Because I didn't lower the volume of my voice the same as she did, Chii also heard it. She raised her head to look at me for a moment before turning to Hana, her expression longing for the girl's answer.
For the second time during this trip, Hana was stumped for an answer. Her mouth closed and opened a few times but no words came out of it. And in the end, she lowered her head, resulting in her only visible eye also being covered by her hair.
Whether that's a silent confirmation or not, I couldn't be sure.
Unluckily, someone else showed up from the neighboring car train who instantly recognized me and Chii, interrupting the heavy mood created around us.
"Ah! Ruki-senpai, Chii-chan-senpai and… huh? What kind of situation did I run into?"
Yep, it's none other than the hyper-energetic number one Asahi fan. Her forehead creased upon noticing the other girl at my side. Obviously, she focused more on how close the girl was and why Chii and I were looking at Hana.
Our joined hands were still hidden beneath Hana's bag.
"Hey, Ruki. If I change and stop acting behind the mask of my smile in front of everyone, will you continue staying by my side?"A long time ago, Hana asked me that question. I never answered that. Because for the Ruki of that past, it didn't matter whether the girl enacted a change in her character. I was a simple-minded guy who only wanted one thing from her. The fulfillment of my desire.After three years, I remembered that question after watching the girl look so lost on what to do.For sure, that's a temporary state. Like Chii said, she's an obstinate girl who would hold onto her belief until the end. Or until she deemed it impossible.I mean, she gave up convincing me to keep her by my side back then. Although that could be attributed to my firm decision to cut them off, Hana never showed up in front of me to try and change it. That meant she accepted the reality that she would just fail.I am curious to know if she's still waiting for my answer to that question. Maybe she has also forgotten about it. Who knows? One thing though.I found the urge to step up and guide her to an answer.However, if I acted on that urge, it would basically undermine Chii's decision.Is it complicated? Not really. Because there's a clear line that I've drawn between the two girls.With that, I dropped the notion of guiding Hana and simply turned my attention to the girl in my arms.Hana's house was farther than mine anyway. She had plenty of time to decide. Since we were going to meet with Hifumi at the station next to the one closest to our house, she could wait until we arrived there.A while later, when the train reached its first stop from where we rode, we finally got empty seats.I moved quickly and secured the seats closest to us and pulled Chii to my side.As for Hana, the girl was still wandering in her thoughts, so she remained in that corner.If someone bothered her, I could reach her easily so I wasn't that worried.Noticing the gloominess accumulating above the fake gyaru's head, I reached in and poked her soft cheek, gaining her attention."Hmm? Why are you wearing the same face as her? Do you regret saying that?""Kii A little."A little, huh? That's not how it looks to me. But whatever, it's my job to cheer her up."I know you're not asking for my opinion but hear me out. You did great, Chii. There's nothing wrong with what you did.""Great? I gave up on convincing her, how is that great?"As expected, that's what she's concerned about She might've put on a gyaru mask and acted like one but deep inside, she's still the same Chii. The clumsy girl who's too kind for her own good.I stopped poking her cheek and pulled her head to lean on my shoulder. My hand then gently caressed her hair, brushing it with my fingers. Little by little, her worry-filled expression relaxed."Chii, I'm referring to knowing the limits of pushing your idea to someone. That part is what's great. You successfully realized that by continuing to string her along with you, she's just going to continue being adamant about her decision. Now, you've given her the ability to make her own choice while also putting yourself out there for her.""... That sounds like what you did with us. Giving us choices and acting on what we choose."She's not wrong on that. That's how I mostly operated. But there were times when I would pretty much be as forceful as I could get, treading the boundary of what I deemed acceptable and not."Yeah. It is pretty similar. That's why I see it as a great thing. Hana will come around. We'll just have to wait."That's kind of an optimistic view but that's better than being negative about it. Besides, if Hana didn't have any inclination to meet them, she wouldn't let herself be dragged by the girl.She's not someone weak to pressure, after all. Even when I was trying to steal her back then, she never lost composure. In fact, she probably just went along with me and I was blinded enough by my interpretation of my desire to see it.Spending the next few minutes conversing silently with Chii around that topic, the girl eventually calmed down and switched to an affectionate mood where she simply enjoyed snuggling with me.And true to what I told Chii, the obstinate girl at the corner soon moved from her position. She took the seat next to me when it opened up after we arrived at the next station.Nonetheless, there was no indication that she already made her decision. She refused to glance at Chii but not at me.Linking her arms with mine, she then stealthily searched for my hand and held it beneath the cover of her bag. And in a very subdued voice as if she was afraid for Chii to hear it, she whispered, "Help me understand, Ruki. When I said I never treated them as friends. I mean it. Why do Chizuru and you think otherwise? In my life, you're the only person I consider to have reached that level of importance."This girl How should I interpret this? Rather than arriving at an answer on what she wanted to do, she fell back on the reason why Chii and Hifumi were fixated on her.From the tone of her voice that's devoid of any falseness, she's more or less being truthful with this. If that's the case then Chii and I were the ones who assumed that she just couldn't be honest.Nonetheless, there's a nagging feeling inside of me that somehow pointed to my similarity to Hana.And that was"Remember how I was in the past? This clueless idiot was unaware of my feelings for every girl that I got involved with, including Chii, Hifumi, and you. I convinced myself that it was all for my desire. However, look at me, I have proven myself wrong" I put on a defeated smile which Hana fully captured in her eyes. She focused on me, perhaps trying to understand what I was saying.While she's busy on that, I continued, "I'm not you so I can't really dictate what you should feel about them. But Hana, just this one time, looks at this from a different perspective. Why did you let yourself be dragged around by Chii? If it's, I doubt you'll let anyone aside from me string you along."Because I didn't lower the volume of my voice the same as she did, Chii also heard it. She raised her head to look at me for a moment before turning to Hana, her expression longing for the girl's answer.For the second time during this trip, Hana was stumped for an answer. Her mouth closed and opened a few times but no words came out of it. And in the end, she lowered her head, resulting in her only visible eye also being covered by her hair.Whether that's a silent confirmation or not, I couldn't be sure.Unluckily, someone else showed up from the neighboring car train who instantly recognized me and Chii, interrupting the heavy mood created around us."Ah! Ruki-senpai, Chii-chan-senpai and huh? What kind of situation did I run into?"Yep, it's none other than the hyper-energetic number one Asahi fan. Her forehead creased upon noticing the other girl at my side. Obviously, she focused more on how close the girl was and why Chii and I were looking at Hana.Our joined hands were still hidden beneath Hana's bag.
