Chapter 282: Reach For Me
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ELRETH
They were both exhausted. Neither of them had slept enough for days. It was no wonder that when they fell into the furs, just to rest comfortably, they both fell asleep.
But when Elreth blinked awake hours later it took a moment to find her bearings, to figure out what was real, and what was a dream.
And what was a living nightmare.
She was laying on her side, Aaryn next to her, facing her. When she shifted to find a more comfortable spot on the pillow, he stirred and reached for her, his hand sliding over her waist to her back and pulling her closer. But even though he shifted his head on the pillow, his eyes never opened. A minute later he was still breathing evenly, his eyes shadowed in purple smudges that made Elreth want to bite something.
She watched him sleep for a while, his white-blond lashes closed.. They looked golden in this light.
He had one hand under his pillow, his bicep curled up in the way that, even rested, made it look huge. Elreth's stomach trilled and she almost growled at herself. It was hardly the time.
But looking at him…
The furs had fallen to his waist, leaving his broad chest and rippled abdomen bare. And her favorite part—his shoulder—was craned forward so he could hold her.
Even in his sleep he reached for her, she realized. The love that welled in her chest brought tears to her eyes.
Now that she knew what was real, what wasn't, she was angry at Delarys. She knew she'd need to be careful to keep a leash on that around Aaryn. But if she could have, she would have shifted and run into the wood to find the wolf and take out her throat.
How dares she?
How fucking dare she break her son this way?
Elreth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't focus on that. She had to focus on Aaryn and, when time allowed, the people.
Assuming Hholdyn hadn't been brought in yet, she was supposed to be meeting with the Women's Council just then, to discuss the logistics of Aaryn's role and how they would explain the balance of power—something that they really should have done before the Smoke and Flames, but there just hadn't been time.
She prayed that Eadhye and Rhodha had told the others so that those in the council would have heard why she wasn't there. The last thing Aaryn needed was a group of indignant females banging on the door of the cave.
Truly, it was the last thing she needed to.
Looking at the grief on Aaryn's face, the way he'd howled… suddenly all the other stresses and problems had fallen away. She'd stared at her mate and seen nothing but a raw and broken heart.
She was needed, and she wanted to be there.
And she needed him, too.
Watching all of that play out had reminded her how blessed she had been by the Creator when it came to her own family. Even with Gar and his insistence on pushing everyone else away. The truth was, she knew she could rely on her brother in a pinch. And her parents anytime.
She just prayed Aaryn would let them be there for him, now, too. She worried he would fight with the feelings of disloyalty to his mother.
She sighed and accidentally fluttered the hair that had drifted across his forehead and onto his cheek. But still he didn't wake.
She didn't want him to wake. She knew from the days when they'd lost Mam'Amora and Papa Brant that those first moments of waking after a loss were the worst moments of the day—when for a second, there was no pain. And then your body reminded you and it hit all over again.
She wished there was a way to bring Aaryn out of sleep without putting him through that. Give him a breather from all the pain he was going to face in the next few months…
He shifted his head and murmured something she didn't catch, but he pulled her closer again, making it suddenly very clear to her that his body was alert.
Very alert.
Very firmly alert.
Elreth bit her lip to stop herself giggling. The male body was a strange thing.
Aymora had always made jokes about cocks having a mind of their own, and that part of growing up as a female was learning to discern which head a male was thinking with in any given situation.
"Never trust a cockbrain, El," she'd said when Elreth was twelve or thirteen. She'd blushed beet red. But Mam'Amora didn't stop there. "When the time comes you'll see," she had said with a wink that made her wrinkles bunch. "Just remember, as much as it can lead him into things you'd rather he let alone, it also lets you lead him, too. When you learn how to use it, it's as reliable as a bridle on a horse."
Behryn had been there that night, talking quietly with her father. From across the room he'd grunted his disapproval of the metaphor—but Aymora just chuckled and patted Elreth's thigh. "Just remember: Never use it against him, and never use it too soon, because you'll only hurt yourself. His cock is not his heart, and never mistake the two. But once you've caught his heart… it will be the handle by which you can open the door so he sees his love for you. Use your power wisely."
"That's enough, Aymora," her father had growled and the conversation had shifted then.
But Elreth had seen the knowing, grinning look that Aymora and her mother had shared.
Elreth, embarrassed and aware of a subtext to this conversation she didn't understand, had never really taken it too seriously. It had been hard sometimes with Mam'Amora to tell when she was serious and when she was making fun. She had delivered both insightful wisdom, and cutting humiliation, with an equally sharp tongue. It was one of the things Elreth had so enjoyed about her. No one held onto arrogance in her presence long.
Including Elreth.
But now… now with what she was learning about her mate, and the way that their bodies responded to their feelings for each other… now she wondered if perhaps this was a moment to use Aaryn's… er… passions to let him have a few minutes rest before he had to face the newly painful world?
When he sighed and rubbed his face on the pillow, she decided maybe it was. He would wake soon, and she'd see that heavy curtain come down on his eyes. But maybe she could delay it by a few minutes more?
Feeling suddenly nervous, but also a little excited, Elreth arched her hips closer so her thigh brushed his arousal.
Aaryn's eyes moved under his lids and his breathing went quiet.
Then she put her palm flat to his stomach, just below his navel, and started to slide down at the same moment she shifted her head closer to his so they were breathing each other's breath.
"Aaryn?" she whispered.
He'd gone very still—the tense, poised kind of still that he had when he was hunting. But he still hadn't opened his eyes.
"Mmm?" he murmured.
"I love you," she whispered, and when he opened his mouth to reply, she took it with hers, letting her lips just barely brush his, still soft and dry with sleep.
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ELRETH
They were both exhausted. Neither of them had slept enough for days. It was no wonder that when they fell into the furs, just to rest comfortably, they both fell asleep.
But when Elreth blinked awake hours later it took a moment to find her bearings, to figure out what was real, and what was a dream.
And what was a living nightmare.
She was laying on her side, Aaryn next to her, facing her. When she shifted to find a more comfortable spot on the pillow, he stirred and reached for her, his hand sliding over her waist to her back and pulling her closer. But even though he shifted his head on the pillow, his eyes never opened. A minute later he was still breathing evenly, his eyes shadowed in purple smudges that made Elreth want to bite something.
She watched him sleep for a while, his white-blond lashes closed.. They looked golden in this light.
He had one hand under his pillow, his bicep curled up in the way that, even rested, made it look huge. Elreth's stomach trilled and she almost growled at herself. It was hardly the time.
But looking at him…
The furs had fallen to his waist, leaving his broad chest and rippled abdomen bare. And her favorite part—his shoulder—was craned forward so he could hold her.
Even in his sleep he reached for her, she realized. The love that welled in her chest brought tears to her eyes.
Now that she knew what was real, what wasn't, she was angry at Delarys. She knew she'd need to be careful to keep a leash on that around Aaryn. But if she could have, she would have shifted and run into the wood to find the wolf and take out her throat.
How dares she?
How fucking dare she break her son this way?
Elreth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't focus on that. She had to focus on Aaryn and, when time allowed, the people.
Assuming Hholdyn hadn't been brought in yet, she was supposed to be meeting with the Women's Council just then, to discuss the logistics of Aaryn's role and how they would explain the balance of power—something that they really should have done before the Smoke and Flames, but there just hadn't been time.
She prayed that Eadhye and Rhodha had told the others so that those in the council would have heard why she wasn't there. The last thing Aaryn needed was a group of indignant females banging on the door of the cave.
Truly, it was the last thing she needed to.
Looking at the grief on Aaryn's face, the way he'd howled… suddenly all the other stresses and problems had fallen away. She'd stared at her mate and seen nothing but a raw and broken heart.
She was needed, and she wanted to be there.
And she needed him, too.
Watching all of that play out had reminded her how blessed she had been by the Creator when it came to her own family. Even with Gar and his insistence on pushing everyone else away. The truth was, she knew she could rely on her brother in a pinch. And her parents anytime.
She just prayed Aaryn would let them be there for him, now, too. She worried he would fight with the feelings of disloyalty to his mother.
She sighed and accidentally fluttered the hair that had drifted across his forehead and onto his cheek. But still he didn't wake.
She didn't want him to wake. She knew from the days when they'd lost Mam'Amora and Papa Brant that those first moments of waking after a loss were the worst moments of the day—when for a second, there was no pain. And then your body reminded you and it hit all over again.
She wished there was a way to bring Aaryn out of sleep without putting him through that. Give him a breather from all the pain he was going to face in the next few months…
He shifted his head and murmured something she didn't catch, but he pulled her closer again, making it suddenly very clear to her that his body was alert.
Very alert.
Very firmly alert.
Elreth bit her lip to stop herself giggling. The male body was a strange thing.
Aymora had always made jokes about cocks having a mind of their own, and that part of growing up as a female was learning to discern which head a male was thinking with in any given situation.
"Never trust a cockbrain, El," she'd said when Elreth was twelve or thirteen. She'd blushed beet red. But Mam'Amora didn't stop there. "When the time comes you'll see," she had said with a wink that made her wrinkles bunch. "Just remember, as much as it can lead him into things you'd rather he let alone, it also lets you lead him, too. When you learn how to use it, it's as reliable as a bridle on a horse."
Behryn had been there that night, talking quietly with her father. From across the room he'd grunted his disapproval of the metaphor—but Aymora just chuckled and patted Elreth's thigh. "Just remember: Never use it against him, and never use it too soon, because you'll only hurt yourself. His cock is not his heart, and never mistake the two. But once you've caught his heart… it will be the handle by which you can open the door so he sees his love for you. Use your power wisely."
"That's enough, Aymora," her father had growled and the conversation had shifted then.
But Elreth had seen the knowing, grinning look that Aymora and her mother had shared.
Elreth, embarrassed and aware of a subtext to this conversation she didn't understand, had never really taken it too seriously. It had been hard sometimes with Mam'Amora to tell when she was serious and when she was making fun. She had delivered both insightful wisdom, and cutting humiliation, with an equally sharp tongue. It was one of the things Elreth had so enjoyed about her. No one held onto arrogance in her presence long.
Including Elreth.
But now… now with what she was learning about her mate, and the way that their bodies responded to their feelings for each other… now she wondered if perhaps this was a moment to use Aaryn's… er… passions to let him have a few minutes rest before he had to face the newly painful world?
When he sighed and rubbed his face on the pillow, she decided maybe it was. He would wake soon, and she'd see that heavy curtain come down on his eyes. But maybe she could delay it by a few minutes more?
Feeling suddenly nervous, but also a little excited, Elreth arched her hips closer so her thigh brushed his arousal.
Aaryn's eyes moved under his lids and his breathing went quiet.
Then she put her palm flat to his stomach, just below his navel, and started to slide down at the same moment she shifted her head closer to his so they were breathing each other's breath.
"Aaryn?" she whispered.
He'd gone very still—the tense, poised kind of still that he had when he was hunting. But he still hadn't opened his eyes.
"Mmm?" he murmured.
"I love you," she whispered, and when he opened his mouth to reply, she took it with hers, letting her lips just barely brush his, still soft and dry with sleep.
ELRETHThey were both exhausted. Neither of them had slept enough for days. It was no wonder that when they fell into the furs, just to rest comfortably, they both fell asleep.But when Elreth blinked awake hours later it took a moment to find her bearings, to figure out what was real, and what was a dream.And what was a living nightmare.She was laying on her side, Aaryn next to her, facing her. When she shifted to find a more comfortable spot on the pillow, he stirred and reached for her, his hand sliding over her waist to her back and pulling her closer. But even though he shifted his head on the pillow, his eyes never opened. A minute later he was still breathing evenly, his eyes shadowed in purple smudges that made Elreth want to bite something.She watched him sleep for a while, his white-blond lashes closed.. They looked golden in this light.He had one hand under his pillow, his bicep curled up in the way that, even rested, made it look huge. Elreth's stomach trilled and she almost growled at herself. It was hardly the time.But looking at himThe furs had fallen to his waist, leaving his broad chest and rippled abdomen bare. And her favorite parthis shoulderwas craned forward so he could hold her.Even in his sleep he reached for her, she realized. The love that welled in her chest brought tears to her eyes.Now that she knew what was real, what wasn't, she was angry at Delarys. She knew she'd need to be careful to keep a leash on that around Aaryn. But if she could have, she would have shifted and run into the wood to find the wolf and take out her throat.How dares she?How fucking dare she break her son this way?Elreth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't focus on that. She had to focus on Aaryn and, when time allowed, the people.Assuming Hholdyn hadn't been brought in yet, she was supposed to be meeting with the Women's Council just then, to discuss the logistics of Aaryn's role and how they would explain the balance of powersomething that they really should have done before the Smoke and Flames, but there just hadn't been time.She prayed that Eadhye and Rhodha had told the others so that those in the council would have heard why she wasn't there. The last thing Aaryn needed was a group of indignant females banging on the door of the cave.Truly, it was the last thing she needed to.Looking at the grief on Aaryn's face, the way he'd howled suddenly all the other stresses and problems had fallen away. She'd stared at her mate and seen nothing but a raw and broken heart.She was needed, and she wanted to be there.And she needed him, too.Watching all of that play out had reminded her how blessed she had been by the Creator when it came to her own family. Even with Gar and his insistence on pushing everyone else away. The truth was, she knew she could rely on her brother in a pinch. And her parents anytime.She just prayed Aaryn would let them be there for him, now, too. She worried he would fight with the feelings of disloyalty to his mother.She sighed and accidentally fluttered the hair that had drifted across his forehead and onto his cheek. But still he didn't wake.She didn't want him to wake. She knew from the days when they'd lost Mam'Amora and Papa Brant that those first moments of waking after a loss were the worst moments of the daywhen for a second, there was no pain. And then your body reminded you and it hit all over again.She wished there was a way to bring Aaryn out of sleep without putting him through that. Give him a breather from all the pain he was going to face in the next few monthsHe shifted his head and murmured something she didn't catch, but he pulled her closer again, making it suddenly very clear to her that his body was alert.Very alert.Very firmly alert.Elreth bit her lip to stop herself giggling. The male body was a strange thing.Aymora had always made jokes about cocks having a mind of their own, and that part of growing up as a female was learning to discern which head a male was thinking with in any given situation."Never trust a cockbrain, El," she'd said when Elreth was twelve or thirteen. She'd blushed beet red. But Mam'Amora didn't stop there. "When the time comes you'll see," she had said with a wink that made her wrinkles bunch. "Just remember, as much as it can lead him into things you'd rather he let alone, it also lets you lead him, too. When you learn how to use it, it's as reliable as a bridle on a horse."Behryn had been there that night, talking quietly with her father. From across the room he'd grunted his disapproval of the metaphorbut Aymora just chuckled and patted Elreth's thigh. "Just remember: Never use it against him, and never use it too soon, because you'll only hurt yourself. His cock is not his heart, and never mistake the two. But once you've caught his heart it will be the handle by which you can open the door so he sees his love for you. Use your power wisely.""That's enough, Aymora," her father had growled and the conversation had shifted then.But Elreth had seen the knowing, grinning look that Aymora and her mother had shared.Elreth, embarrassed and aware of a subtext to this conversation she didn't understand, had never really taken it too seriously. It had been hard sometimes with Mam'Amora to tell when she was serious and when she was making fun. She had delivered both insightful wisdom, and cutting humiliation, with an equally sharp tongue. It was one of the things Elreth had so enjoyed about her. No one held onto arrogance in her presence long.Including Elreth.But now now with what she was learning about her mate, and the way that their bodies responded to their feelings for each other now she wondered if perhaps this was a moment to use Aaryn's er passions to let him have a few minutes rest before he had to face the newly painful world?When he sighed and rubbed his face on the pillow, she decided maybe it was. He would wake soon, and she'd see that heavy curtain come down on his eyes. But maybe she could delay it by a few minutes more?Feeling suddenly nervous, but also a little excited, Elreth arched her hips closer so her thigh brushed his arousal.Aaryn's eyes moved under his lids and his breathing went quiet.Then she put her palm flat to his stomach, just below his navel, and started to slide down at the same moment she shifted her head closer to his so they were breathing each other's breath."Aaryn?" she whispered.He'd gone very stillthe tense, poised kind of still that he had when he was hunting. But he still hadn't opened his eyes."Mmm?" he murmured."I love you," she whispered, and when he opened his mouth to reply, she took it with hers, letting her lips just barely brush his, still soft and dry with sleep.
