Chapter 418: Another Kind Of Male
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RIKA
Every time Rika thought she heard something wonderful, something that gave her hope, all her fears came rushing back.
She was in a strange world, with a strange man who was far too invested. She couldn't trust it. She wouldn't! She shook her head.
"Gar can't have feelings like you're describing when we've only known each other a few weeks—not if he's sane."
Elia tipped her head again, and an edge entered her gaze. "Don't you have feelings for him?"
"Well, yes," Rika spluttered, unable to believe she was having this conversation with her boyfriend's mother. Gar was her boyfriend… wasn't he? Rika pushed the thought away. "But I'm a woman. He's a guy. A big, strong guy. You just said he doesn't recognize his own feelings—in my experience, most guys like him… they can admit they're mad, and that's about it."
Elia nodded. "Like I said, you'd be mostly right if we were in our world, though I know some good, strong men exist. But here… Rika, you're forgetting the matebond. It connects you with your mate to your soul. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before. Gar's already feeling that. He knows. And because he cares for you, he'll wait. You don't have to rush yourself. But… just don't hold yourself back. Finding that freedom with a man… it's wonderful." Her eyes went almost misty then and a small smile bloomed on her beautiful face.
Rika yearned to feel that kind of certainty about a man. But the very idea made her nervous. What if he wasn't as amazing as she thought? Her father was very charming, and most people outside their family thought he was wonderful.
What if these men were different when the doors were closed and something pissed them off?
But that look… she'd never seen that look on her mother's face.
Rika clenched her hands in her lap and forced herself to ask. "What's it like? That bond?"
Elia sighed happily. "It's like a compass inside you that always points to him. It's like he can make your bones vibrate in the most delicious way. It's like… your entire bloodstream lights up when he walks in a room—he makes you feel alive." Then Elia raised her eyes to meet Rika's and she smiled. "Don't get me wrong, he can absolutely drive you up the wall faster than any other person on earth—or any earth. But he's worth it."
For a moment, Rika let herself see that smile on her own face. Imagined being in the arms of Gar when he wasn't angry—that the tightness in her gut was desire, not fear. For a moment she could see herself, entwined with him. Safe and warm, laughing—and more.
But then she blinked. She remembered the hairpin turns her father's mood could take, and the shock of adrenalin when you realized you'd said or done the wrong thing. The way a pit in her stomach opened when she heard his cold tone.
Sucking in a breath, Rika shifted in her seat. She'd sworn she'd never put herself in a man's hands the way her mother had done. That she'd never risk being controlled that way again.
But Elia went very still. "You fear being close to a man?" she asked quietly.
Rika, eyes wide, turned to gape at her. "How did you—" she snapped her mouth shut over the unintended admission.
"I can smell it."
"SMELL IT?" Rika exclaimed. "I thought you were human."
"I am… or I was. Trust me, Rika. This place, this family… it will change you. But only for the better."
*****
GAR
Gar set his teeth. He was angered by the idea of his mate putting herself in danger, his mate thinking she was so unimportant that her death didn't matter. And his father sat there on the other end of the couch, staring at him like he was dense.
"My work with the disformed is not the same!" Gar growled.
His father huffed. "It's exactly the same thing. You told me and your mother that if you died it wasn't important."
"I meant it wasn't as important as others!"
"I suspect your mate would say the same thing."
Gar shook his head. "No, Dad, you don't understand. I don't think I have no value. I just thought… I mean, I didn't have a mate. No offspring. I was young. It was better for me to be in danger than others that were going to be so crucial for the war!"
"And yet, here we are… and you're playing a major role, and now you have a mate. How do you think she'll feel the day she accepts the bond and learns that you spent the last three years walking into the worst kind of danger because you weren't important enough to be protected?"
"That isn't the same. I had a job to do. She's been… defeated by her own father!"
"Well, as you know, we fathers don't always get it right."
"No, Dad, listen. I was angry at you. I was hurt. But I was always strong because you taught me how to be. She's been… she's so strong in her heart and mind, but it's as if a switch flips within her sometimes and she's taken somewhere else. Or ceases to care. I don't know how to explain it, but I can see it when it happens. And it's all because of how she fears him. Literally is terrified of him."
His father sucked in a breath. "There is no more painful wound than one inflicted by the very person who should protect you," he murmured. "Step slowly with her, Gar—but only to give her comfort. Not to retreat. She cannot learn what true love looks like unless you show her. Offer love without demand. Offer love gently—and give her space if she becomes fearful. That is loving in itself. Let her define the boundaries. But don't act as if you do not love. Don't pretend you are untouched. She's your mate. Give her everything you have to give." His father huffed a short laugh. "I would gamble my home that she will come to you with time—and freely. That your love will be all the sweeter for waiting for her."
"And if it's not? If she doesn't ever turn to me?" Gar asked, surprised by how he recoiled from the question, the fear that rose in his throat at the thought.
"Then we will be here for you," his father said, squeezing his hand. "You will always have love from us."
Gar sucked in a breath against the sudden pinch in his throat.
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RIKA
Every time Rika thought she heard something wonderful, something that gave her hope, all her fears came rushing back.
She was in a strange world, with a strange man who was far too invested. She couldn't trust it. She wouldn't! She shook her head.
"Gar can't have feelings like you're describing when we've only known each other a few weeks—not if he's sane."
Elia tipped her head again, and an edge entered her gaze. "Don't you have feelings for him?"
"Well, yes," Rika spluttered, unable to believe she was having this conversation with her boyfriend's mother. Gar was her boyfriend… wasn't he? Rika pushed the thought away. "But I'm a woman. He's a guy. A big, strong guy. You just said he doesn't recognize his own feelings—in my experience, most guys like him… they can admit they're mad, and that's about it."
Elia nodded. "Like I said, you'd be mostly right if we were in our world, though I know some good, strong men exist. But here… Rika, you're forgetting the matebond. It connects you with your mate to your soul. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before. Gar's already feeling that. He knows. And because he cares for you, he'll wait. You don't have to rush yourself. But… just don't hold yourself back. Finding that freedom with a man… it's wonderful." Her eyes went almost misty then and a small smile bloomed on her beautiful face.
Rika yearned to feel that kind of certainty about a man. But the very idea made her nervous. What if he wasn't as amazing as she thought? Her father was very charming, and most people outside their family thought he was wonderful.
What if these men were different when the doors were closed and something pissed them off?
But that look… she'd never seen that look on her mother's face.
Rika clenched her hands in her lap and forced herself to ask. "What's it like? That bond?"
Elia sighed happily. "It's like a compass inside you that always points to him. It's like he can make your bones vibrate in the most delicious way. It's like… your entire bloodstream lights up when he walks in a room—he makes you feel alive." Then Elia raised her eyes to meet Rika's and she smiled. "Don't get me wrong, he can absolutely drive you up the wall faster than any other person on earth—or any earth. But he's worth it."
For a moment, Rika let herself see that smile on her own face. Imagined being in the arms of Gar when he wasn't angry—that the tightness in her gut was desire, not fear. For a moment she could see herself, entwined with him. Safe and warm, laughing—and more.
But then she blinked. She remembered the hairpin turns her father's mood could take, and the shock of adrenalin when you realized you'd said or done the wrong thing. The way a pit in her stomach opened when she heard his cold tone.
Sucking in a breath, Rika shifted in her seat. She'd sworn she'd never put herself in a man's hands the way her mother had done. That she'd never risk being controlled that way again.
But Elia went very still. "You fear being close to a man?" she asked quietly.
Rika, eyes wide, turned to gape at her. "How did you—" she snapped her mouth shut over the unintended admission.
"I can smell it."
"SMELL IT?" Rika exclaimed. "I thought you were human."
"I am… or I was. Trust me, Rika. This place, this family… it will change you. But only for the better."
*****
GAR
Gar set his teeth. He was angered by the idea of his mate putting herself in danger, his mate thinking she was so unimportant that her death didn't matter. And his father sat there on the other end of the couch, staring at him like he was dense.
"My work with the disformed is not the same!" Gar growled.
His father huffed. "It's exactly the same thing. You told me and your mother that if you died it wasn't important."
"I meant it wasn't as important as others!"
"I suspect your mate would say the same thing."
Gar shook his head. "No, Dad, you don't understand. I don't think I have no value. I just thought… I mean, I didn't have a mate. No offspring. I was young. It was better for me to be in danger than others that were going to be so crucial for the war!"
"And yet, here we are… and you're playing a major role, and now you have a mate. How do you think she'll feel the day she accepts the bond and learns that you spent the last three years walking into the worst kind of danger because you weren't important enough to be protected?"
"That isn't the same. I had a job to do. She's been… defeated by her own father!"
"Well, as you know, we fathers don't always get it right."
"No, Dad, listen. I was angry at you. I was hurt. But I was always strong because you taught me how to be. She's been… she's so strong in her heart and mind, but it's as if a switch flips within her sometimes and she's taken somewhere else. Or ceases to care. I don't know how to explain it, but I can see it when it happens. And it's all because of how she fears him. Literally is terrified of him."
His father sucked in a breath. "There is no more painful wound than one inflicted by the very person who should protect you," he murmured. "Step slowly with her, Gar—but only to give her comfort. Not to retreat. She cannot learn what true love looks like unless you show her. Offer love without demand. Offer love gently—and give her space if she becomes fearful. That is loving in itself. Let her define the boundaries. But don't act as if you do not love. Don't pretend you are untouched. She's your mate. Give her everything you have to give." His father huffed a short laugh. "I would gamble my home that she will come to you with time—and freely. That your love will be all the sweeter for waiting for her."
"And if it's not? If she doesn't ever turn to me?" Gar asked, surprised by how he recoiled from the question, the fear that rose in his throat at the thought.
"Then we will be here for you," his father said, squeezing his hand. "You will always have love from us."
Gar sucked in a breath against the sudden pinch in his throat.
RIKAEvery time Rika thought she heard something wonderful, something that gave her hope, all her fears came rushing back.She was in a strange world, with a strange man who was far too invested. She couldn't trust it. She wouldn't! She shook her head."Gar can't have feelings like you're describing when we've only known each other a few weeksnot if he's sane."Elia tipped her head again, and an edge entered her gaze. "Don't you have feelings for him?""Well, yes," Rika spluttered, unable to believe she was having this conversation with her boyfriend's mother. Gar was her boyfriend wasn't he? Rika pushed the thought away. "But I'm a woman. He's a guy. A big, strong guy. You just said he doesn't recognize his own feelingsin my experience, most guys like him they can admit they're mad, and that's about it."Elia nodded. "Like I said, you'd be mostly right if we were in our world, though I know some good, strong men exist. But here Rika, you're forgetting the matebond. It connects you with your mate to your soul. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before. Gar's already feeling that. He knows. And because he cares for you, he'll wait. You don't have to rush yourself. But just don't hold yourself back. Finding that freedom with a man it's wonderful." Her eyes went almost misty then and a small smile bloomed on her beautiful face.Rika yearned to feel that kind of certainty about a man. But the very idea made her nervous. What if he wasn't as amazing as she thought? Her father was very charming, and most people outside their family thought he was wonderful.What if these men were different when the doors were closed and something pissed them off?But that look she'd never seen that look on her mother's face.Rika clenched her hands in her lap and forced herself to ask. "What's it like? That bond?"Elia sighed happily. "It's like a compass inside you that always points to him. It's like he can make your bones vibrate in the most delicious way. It's like your entire bloodstream lights up when he walks in a roomhe makes you feel alive." Then Elia raised her eyes to meet Rika's and she smiled. "Don't get me wrong, he can absolutely drive you up the wall faster than any other person on earthor any earth. But he's worth it."For a moment, Rika let herself see that smile on her own face. Imagined being in the arms of Gar when he wasn't angrythat the tightness in her gut was desire, not fear. For a moment she could see herself, entwined with him. Safe and warm, laughingand more.But then she blinked. She remembered the hairpin turns her father's mood could take, and the shock of adrenalin when you realized you'd said or done the wrong thing. The way a pit in her stomach opened when she heard his cold tone.Sucking in a breath, Rika shifted in her seat. She'd sworn she'd never put herself in a man's hands the way her mother had done. That she'd never risk being controlled that way again.But Elia went very still. "You fear being close to a man?" she asked quietly.Rika, eyes wide, turned to gape at her. "How did you" she snapped her mouth shut over the unintended admission."I can smell it.""SMELL IT?" Rika exclaimed. "I thought you were human.""I am or I was. Trust me, Rika. This place, this family it will change you. But only for the better."*****GARGar set his teeth. He was angered by the idea of his mate putting herself in danger, his mate thinking she was so unimportant that her death didn't matter. And his father sat there on the other end of the couch, staring at him like he was dense."My work with the disformed is not the same!" Gar growled.His father huffed. "It's exactly the same thing. You told me and your mother that if you died it wasn't important.""I meant it wasn't as important as others!""I suspect your mate would say the same thing."Gar shook his head. "No, Dad, you don't understand. I don't think I have no value. I just thought I mean, I didn't have a mate. No offspring. I was young. It was better for me to be in danger than others that were going to be so crucial for the war!""And yet, here we are and you're playing a major role, and now you have a mate. How do you think she'll feel the day she accepts the bond and learns that you spent the last three years walking into the worst kind of danger because you weren't important enough to be protected?""That isn't the same. I had a job to do. She's been defeated by her own father!""Well, as you know, we fathers don't always get it right.""No, Dad, listen. I was angry at you. I was hurt. But I was always strong because you taught me how to be. She's been she's so strong in her heart and mind, but it's as if a switch flips within her sometimes and she's taken somewhere else. Or ceases to care. I don't know how to explain it, but I can see it when it happens. And it's all because of how she fears him. Literally is terrified of him."His father sucked in a breath. "There is no more painful wound than one inflicted by the very person who should protect you," he murmured. "Step slowly with her, Garbut only to give her comfort. Not to retreat. She cannot learn what true love looks like unless you show her. Offer love without demand. Offer love gentlyand give her space if she becomes fearful. That is loving in itself. Let her define the boundaries. But don't act as if you do not love. Don't pretend you are untouched. She's your mate. Give her everything you have to give." His father huffed a short laugh. "I would gamble my home that she will come to you with timeand freely. That your love will be all the sweeter for waiting for her.""And if it's not? If she doesn't ever turn to me?" Gar asked, surprised by how he recoiled from the question, the fear that rose in his throat at the thought."Then we will be here for you," his father said, squeezing his hand. "You will always have love from us."Gar sucked in a breath against the sudden pinch in his throat.
