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The Calamitous Bob - Chapter 43

Published at 16th of January 2023 06:26:41 AM


Chapter 43: Spring

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Viv blew on her cup of hot klod and took a bite of roll. Solfis was quiet for now, and Marruk was yet to emerge from her lair. Only Arthur bounced excitedly from foot to foot, crimson eyes aimed north towards the town center.

“What’s with you?” she asked.

There was a yelp, a bang, and a pallid Kark woman politely opened the door, hair messy and eyes bloodshot to hell. Viv thought that she looked like a med student after a three-days bender.

“You got a few days of break stored up. Would you like to use them now? I think we’re safe.”

Marruk blinked. Her face scrunched in concentration as tired synapses half-assedly pushed electrons around. Eventually, the incredibly complex proposal was successfully deciphered.

“Sleep more?”

“Yes, go rest you big lug. I’ll be fine.”

“Sleep.”

The woman about-faced with the precision of an officer at parade and promptly left. The door closed. A body impacted a hard mattress. Viv heard soft snores.

“I think she was tired.”

//A good ruler keeps her servants healthy.

//A good balance must be struck between contribution to the empire and attention to the self.

//Or so it was written.

“I think I’ll just nap for a while.”

Someone knocked lightly on the door.

“Or not.”

Viv checked through the window to see a peasant boy in simple clothes. He held an envelope in his grubby hands.

“Yes?” she demanded, opening the door.

The boy jumped back and held the envelope before him like a talisman.

“It’s just.. I’m just… Beg your pardon… I’m, huh…”

“You have a message for me?”

“Yes.”

“From whom?”

“Lady Varska. Shetoldmetogetiittoyouinpersonposthaste.”

“You did. Well done.”

Viv still used her perception to observe the package because she was careful, not paranoid. She had real enemies, big difference.

[envelope]

Thanks.

Viv grabbed two iron talents and tipped the boy, who looked on with wonder in his grimy face.

“Thanks a bunch, your ladyship.”

“That is fine. Off you go now, shoo shoo.”

Feeling positively princessly, Viv went back in and opened the missive, sipping her cup in her comfortable robe while Arthur added her warmth to her lap.

“I am one world domination plan short of the Bond villain. Look at that. Hmm.”

Arthur peered curiously at the words. Viv could swear that her beautiful red eyes followed the symbols, trying to discern the meaning in the words. Maybe the dragonling had started to understand human writing? Viv had started reading slowly as a way to stimulate the adorable little terror, but… Oh well.

“And what does Varska say?” Viv wondered aloud, “Let’s read.

‘Dear Lady Bob.

It would be my pleasure if you could be so inclined as to join me for the Spring Celebration preparations. As your friend and mentor, I wish to guide you through the step of this ancient and respected tradition, and I—”

At this stage the forcibly elegant calligraphy of Varska degenerated into a smudged mess.

“Ah screw all this. Please come, I am growing mad over here. I am sorry for everything. I will explain the spring festival though. I will understand if you do not come, but please come.

-Varska’

Viv placed the expensive paper on the table.

“It appears that we are being summoned. What do you think, Solfis?”

//Although this will slow down your training, I approve.

//It is important for sovereigns to appear at public functions.

//Mage Varska will also explain the proper protocol to you.

//Additionally, I estimate that she will be 97% useless in the next three days from a training perspective.

//Spending time together is a smart use of your resources.

“Alright… then I’m going. Are you coming too?”

“Squee.”

Viv cleaned herself and dressed in a comfortable outfit. She had no doubt that Varska would find a myriad of things to say if she even attempted to pick up proper attire without knowing about the tradition. Might as well go in something that she could easily change out of, and allow the little fusspot to play dress up.

Viv walked out, taking care to leave a message to Marruk, the pay for the past weeks, and locking behind her properly. Her bodyguard was insistent that Viv did not step out of the path in the small garden, and Viv thought she was worried about something. An intrusion, perhaps? In any case, better be careful.

The streets of Kazar were filled with smiling groups of men and women preparing for the celebration, which Viv realized was going to start that very night.

“Farren did tell me. It must have passed my mind, what with the flesh eating cannibalistic monster.”

Many of the villagers greeted her politely, and she nodded so many times she thought her head might detach. People were cooking, cleaning, attaching little pennants and bouquets of wildflowers to doorways and sills. Little girls attached flowers to their hair while boys were heading to a field outside where competitions were already going at it. It was as if the monster attack had never occured. It came to show the resilience of the people of Nyil, Viv thought. Come hell or high water, they would still live and endure, because the monster attacks would never stop. They might as well enjoy it while they could.

Only when Viv reached the plazza did the atmosphere change a bit. There were more guards than usual and people avoided the place, and still they were smiling and talking about, from what Viv could hear, girls.

“I’m going to ask Litara to dance with me.”

“Good luck to you, friend. As for me, the old woman and I have planned to spend the night with another couple.”

Scandalous.

Viv finally arrived in front of the tower with absolutely no one stopping her. The damage to the pavement was only partially repaired, but it had been done overnight which made Kazaran civil engineers on par with modern earth ones, probably. The massive hole in the tower’s wall was completely closed by slightly darker bricks though. Viv knocked on the door.

And waited.

“Think she forgot that no one was here to open the door?” Viv asked.

“Squeeeee…”

But no, the door rotated inward to reveal a very flustered mage.

“Sorry, I stood up too fast and spilled jam on my shirt. Come in, come in.”

Viv was very much amused. Arthur jumped off her arms (the creature was getting heavier by the day) and scurried off the stairs with her tail high, off to sniff the greenhouse plants. For some reason, the riot of colors was a great source of entertainment.

Viv followed Varska up the stairs. The door to her housekeeper’s quarters was locked and sealed with the symbol of Neriad.

“The inquisitors found the ritual site in a cave in the forest yesterday. Most of the stuff here was mundane, except for a few dark texts and preserved meat that they purified on the spot. I’ll have everything cleared and burnt after the celebration,” Varska explained.

“Did they give you much pain?”

“Everyone was cold. Colder than usual, in any case. We are all feeling stupid that she lived under our nose for so long.”

“Shared bad moments have a tendency to do that. Don’t worry, in a few weeks, this will be replaced by another crisis and people will remember you for your contribution. We are the only two locals involved in killing the acolyte, anyway.”

Varska did not reply. She did tilt her head in consideration.

In reality, Viv knew that people would blame her for a long time simply because it was expedient to do so. Admitting that they were all powerless in keeping those hidden predators from their midst was an unpleasant prospect. Better to find a scapegoat than admit that the housekeeper had been a local, and they had seen nothing. Such was the nature of mankind, and one of the reasons why her dad was so jaded. He had shared this wisdom with her. She would not share it with Varska at a time when the mage’s sanctum had been defiled. The timing was off, and the crafty politician probably already knew it anyway.

“Enough of this topic, if you would. There will be a banquet tonight, and we are naturally invited to attend as the two local casters. We just have to show up and look official. I assume that you do not have a dress for the occasion?”

“I have plenty of dresses. At least three.”

“This one should be green to honor Sardanal, the God of Growth and Prosperity. And thieves.”

“No green dress for me.”

“Fortunately I anticipated this, and had one of my old dresses adjusted to… better fit your form.”

Varska’s eyes went to Viv’s chest. The outlander arched her back to make it a bit perkier.

Varska blushed.

“Ahem. In any case, please follow me.”

They went to Varska’s quarters, which Viv had never visited without some snogging taking place. Especially over there, by the couch. The bedroom was cut in two halves by a series of vertical panels that split the bed and wardrobe from the reading and makeup space. They sat in front of a tiny mirror, then the mage picked up a pot from the vanity table which contained a transparent liquid with a light shimmer.

“Cream for your skin. I, ah, noticed that the air in the mountain could be dry. Hale is fine, but you cannot have ruddy skin! You are not a peasant!”

Viv stopped, her face very close to Varska’s.

When she had been deployed in Afghanistan, her platoon had worked with an armored detachment to secure a city district. Tank crews were a weird bunch. On one hand, they displayed the most insane courage she had ever seen, as if anti-tank weapons did not exist. On the other hand they were massive weebs. One of the crews had taught her the term ‘tsundere’, someone with a polarized hot and cold temperament to their loved one, whom they saw as needing help.

So, Varska was a textbook tsundere.

Viv was going to have some fun with it. Her irritating little morsel had dared break her heart. She would have her vengeance.

“Would you mind applying it? I’m not sure how much I should use.”

It was an exercise in self-control not to smirk triumphantly as Varska turned a delicate shade of tulip and applied the cream, lips flushed, modest chest thrumming with impassioned breaths.

‘I’m going to make you stew in your own desire,’ Viv thought unkindly.

Varska fled a little later to fetch the dress. When she returned, Viv started to strip sensually in front of her until she was chased behind the partition by a few outraged shrieks.

“Have some decency!” her victim bellowed.

Viv made sure to hang her clothes over the panel so Varska could see them, then sat down on the mage’s bed and bounced a few times. Comfy.

“Hmmm.”

“S-stop doing that! Get dressed!”

Viv obeyed and Varska changed as well. They both wore assorted green dresses with a small cleavage opening under a mandarin collar and long, airy sleeves. The fabric was snug and thick around the shoulders and waist before flowing into a skirt. It had an Asian feel that Viv found exotic, and it was also warm enough to ward off the slight chill that the Kazaran weather could have at night.

After that, they did each other's hair. Varska’s touch was fast and professional, as if she had done this before. When Viv’s turn came to do the same, she slowed down and smiled.

Varska squirmed on her chair.

Oh, yes, Viv had done that before. Letting Viv massage her scalp and comb her hair? The poor mage was a young fool, betraying her inexperience when it came to matters of seduction. For someone who had spent so much time learning manipulation, she was woefully unprepared in the romance department. Perhaps Helock, her city of origin, took a dim view to it?

In any case, Varska was done for.

Viv took it slow and roguish, sneaking a caress here, a deep scalp massage there. Varska smelled of flowers, as usual. Viv had a good view of the poor mage rubbing her legs together when she could no longer resist. Viv most thoroughly combed, then braided the hair in a half-wild, half-traditional asymmetrical composition that her host considered with widened eyes.

“How very unique!”

“I know many such foreign techniques…”

“Enough! I—I told you that… Enough of this, we should, err, go to the banquet now!”

“So soon?”

“It’s already early afternoon. We can most definitely go now. And should. I’m hungry.”

And thirsty, Viv judged. She still accompanied the mage down and they left, following the main road to the edge of the forest, then to the same open ground where they had celebrated the arrival of the convoy. Arthur flew after them, but prefered to stick to the rooftops.

There, the same white tents and pavilions had been erected to welcome the revelers. Large platters of hearty food were spread on the long tables with breads and rolls garnished with nuts and fruits. Thin slices of cheese and cured meat provided fillings with egg-based sauces and small cakes overflowing from baskets. There were older villagers sitting around drinking a local watered beer while, in the distance, young men and women competed on the grass in games of strength and skill. The ambiance was already festive and the pair was led to the dais by an excited young guard. They plopped down at their assigned seats, on the edge, and looked on as young couples danced in circles. The music was provided by a few players using flutes and drums. Viv had to admit that they were pretty amazing.

The music reached them, an enticing gigue that made Viv smile. She realized that her companion did not share her enthusiasm and realized that a few of the older folks were casting hostile glances at them. Or more specifically, at Varska.

“Hey,” she said.

“What?”

“Didn’t you say you were hungry? Here, have some meat,”

Viv placed food on Varska’s platter. Most of the stuff was cold with roasts and cakes coming later, but it was still pretty good. Viv sneakily served a sweet fruit wine to her prey in tiny goblets that she often refilled.

“How about telling me about your trip?” Varska asked, eager for a distraction.

Viv started her grand tale. Varska gasped in shock at Koro’s directness, laughed at Arthur’s attempt to eat a creature fifty times her weight and wondered at the tribe’s welcome of one who spoke the ancient tongue. Viv mentioned the obelisks, the enchantments on them, and how she thought they were perhaps suboptimal.

Varska then went on a lecture on basic mana shaping and that yes, the working was inefficient, but it was also extremely resilient which was the main concern here. She went on to explain different configurations including some that could be used to power up Solfis with ambient mana, but would take a lot of time and effort to set up. Time and effort that Solfis had so far preferred to spend on her.

All the while, Viv nodded and made sure the fetching maiden had enough liquid fire to whet her whistle. A non sequitur led to Varska explaining that the spring was celebrated in one form or another across the entire continent to mark the beginning of the year, and the return of warm days. Helock was closer to the sea and Varska spoke of fantastic views from the tower tops. It made her a bit melancholic.

During that time, dignitaries came and went including Farren and Tom Manitaradin the banker. They were warm and welcoming, and they all congratulated the pair on killing the acolyte with minimum loss of life. Marruk came to skulk around the bun piles. As the sun was setting, Varska leaned and rested her pretty head on Viv’s shoulder. The curly strands fell on Viv’s dress and the smell of flowers tickled her nose.

Varska suddenly moved back and glared with slightly unfocused eyes.

“You… you are tricking me. Using alcohol!”

“And how, pray tell, am I tricking you?” answered Viv who had also grown tipsy.

“You are trying to, err, seduce me! I already told you it’s not good for you!”

“Is it working?”

Some measure of anguish filled the beautiful woman’s brown eyes. She looked young and lost without the mantle of authority she always wore in public.

“Damn you. Yes. You have no right, I’ve told you that I needed to keep you away.”

“Or people will assume that we’re together and I will be branded as a pariah as well?”

“Yesh.”

“Well, look around, that ship has sailed.”

Varska blinked and stared at the guards studiously avoiding her gaze, the closest villagers, now more numerous, suddenly very focused on their plate, and Farren two seats aside who coughed discreetly into his sleeve.

Viv leaned and whispered in the mage’s ear, eliciting the tiniest moan.

“You wanted to protect me and I find this very commendable, that whole sacrifice thing. But you forgot something very important.”

“What?” the other breathed.

“I decide if I value my social standing or us more. Not you. Me. I make that decision for myself. And I happen to fancy you quite a lot, and if anyone has complaints, I shall stand in trousers before Neriad’s temple so that they may line up and collectively kiss my ass. Now, little mage, do you want to feel alive with me?”

Varska turned and her eyes were a bit liquid. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally managing to gasp out words.

“Not the tower. I hate it there.”

“My place then, come.”

Viv dragged the mage through a knowing crowd and through deserted streets at a trot, only stopping once or twice for a deep kiss. They closed the distance to Viv’s door at a sprint.

Far behind, a mercenary watched the door close from a distance. He licked his lips in consideration, then froze when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

The man turned around. The last thing he saw was a massive fist before a titanic right hook sent him flying into a garbage pile.

Marruk massaged her knuckles, picked up her bun and munched it thoughtfully.

“Good eye,” she said.

“Squee.”

“Let’s find some more food.”

“Squee!”

Viv and Varska made love. Passionately at first, then with more patience and time spent exploring each other. Viv guided her partner with affection on the path to bliss. They teased and kissed and licked and caressed late into the night, far from the hum of the crowd but close enough for flutes and drums to provide an amusing background. They fell asleep in each other’s arms at dawn, happy and sated.

Golden light woke Viv up. The noon sun had warmed her bedroom to comfortable levels, and she could hear through the closed shutter the tweets of birds.

Varska lay asleep by her side. Her face was peaceful in a way that Viv had never seen before. Without the haughty mask of a court mage, she had an innocent look that radiated serenity. Even the brand on her cheek seemed less pronounced. It was more a scar and less a status of shame.

Varska had lifted up the heavy blanket to cover her nudity before she had fallen asleep. She had shifted during her slumber and now, only the modest intent remained. A dark nipple peeked from above embroidered cotton and the vale of her breasts could be seen, as well as the elegant curve of her back. Viv drank in the sight and passed a delicate finger along the smooth pale skin. It elicited a tiny moan.

Varska frowned and blinked herself awake.

Viv smiled.

“Oh,” the captured mage said.

“Oh!” she repeated. Viv waited, no longer masking her smugness. She almost expected complaints, or some affronted comment about how the canny, roguish witch had stolen her virtue. Instead, Varska searched the room with disbelief, finally returning her attention to Viv.

“Well, this is not how I expected my year to start.”

“Hmm hmm? Not too disappointed, I hope?”

Viv stretched in bed, sneakily letting the covers shift. Viv was comfortable with her body. She knew that she had won the genetic lottery. She had also worked hard at improving what nature had bestowed. She knew that it would make things interesting. And it did. Varska blushed and averted her eyes.

“S—stop that!”

“Why?”

Varska’s answer was covered by the abominable growl of a starving beast, a warcry as primitive as it was intimidating. It came from the mage’s stomach.

“No one to cook for you, uh?” Viv asked smugly.

“Quiet! I simply have not found the time to find a new housekeeper.”

“Don’t worry honey, you can eat my food and even wear my clothes.”

“I will certainly not wear those barbaric garments.”

“You could take ten minutes to dress up in your elaborate robe… or we could go out and eat now.”

“...”

“Rolls, nuts, fruits, meat jerky.”

“You have won. Do not be so insufferable about it.”

Viv lent her one of her super comfy inside dresses and underwear. They walked out of the bedroom into a council.

Both women froze. Marruk sat at the table with a grumpy face and pockets under her eyes. Irao was there as well, studiously using a nasty-looking dagger to carve a piece of wood. Solfis’ yellow orbs glinted from a corner.

“Squee.”

Arthur waddled to Viv and jumped on her with a flap of her wings.

“Hellooooo and a good morning to you too, sweety!”

“Squee!”

“Sorry, greetings, oh mighty beast of Kazar.”

“Squee.”

“Who… What are you all doing here?” Varska demanded, mortified.

“We live here,” Marruk grumbles. Irao nods wisely.

“Are you… a Hadal strain?”

Iroa nodded again, then refocused his attention on the sculpture.

“Errr. By Neriad’s buttocks, how thick are the walls here?”

“Not enough!” Marruk bellowed in an expression of pure frustration, “this is my half week off. You two go back to your tower. I need to sleep! SLEEP!”

The Kark stood up, bottomed up her cup of klod and returned to her room in sulky silence.

“It does not matter that the walls are thin because I can hear through walls anyway, so that’s fine,” Iroa helpfully added. He then also left.

“Very tactful, you lot,” Viv reproached with a glare.

“Apparently the only person with a hint of politeness here is the golem,” Varska spat as she approached the table. Platters of cold rolls and what look like leftovers raided from the spring party covered its surface. There was a steaming pot of klod and Varska picked up two cups to fill them. Someone had fried eggs recently. They were still warm.

//I turned off my hearing abilities to afford you some privacy.

“Very kind of you, Solfis,” Viv said.

//Besides, I can monitor your physical condition through your aura.

“... Excuse me?”

//Orgasm causes a strong reaction, akin to a trauma.

//I had to calibrate to understand the difference.

//Every time you mastur—

“Yayayaya I don’t want to know, I don’t want to knoooooow.”

“We are going back to the tower,” Vraska declared firmly. She grabbed a few pieces of stuffed bread and walked imperiously back to the bedroom.

Viv took the time to feed and care for Arthur, and the three left soon after. The streets of the city were mostly empty, and the few people out had the constipated air of those in the throes of a massive hangover. There were even a couple disheveled folks doing the walk of shame without much care, which led Viv to believe that the Enorian conservatism had not pervaded Kazar despite the city being nominally part of the kingdom. They arrived in the tower and Arthur once more climbed to the greenhouse. Varska drew a bath, then swatted Viv with a towel when she tried to join her. They eventually reconvened in the eating room, with Arthur pleased to have two people pet her scales.

“It appears that you have outplayed me. Well done,” the mage finally admitted. “I was under the impression that you were… inexperienced in the ways of the court.”

“First, you assumed wrong, and second, seduction transcends cultural barriers, at least to an extent. I was raised to be savvy. I just… the transfer here, it did something to me. I feel more raw. It’s more difficult to control or hide my emotions or to put on a mask.”

“The soul wound?”

“Yeah. Probably. Sometimes, I wonder if people in my world get those as well but never find out.”

Viv’s mood turned sour. Sometimes, life had a way of grinding people until they broke. She had noticed that long before joining the army and learning about PTSD.

Varska patted her hand.

“There, have some tea.”

“Thanks. I’ll ask Gogen about a replacement housekeeper. She’s some sort of professional cleaner or something. She might know someone.”

“Thank you. Now, finish your tea and join me downstairs. There is something I would like to show you.”

Varska left first. Viv finished her cup and found the mage’s dress and knickers properly folded by the door to her room. Viv smiled and knocked.




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