Chapter 15
TL/Editor: Nox/Diya
“Cough.“
For the first time, on the face of the always-composed Empress, there was a look of awkwardness.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“How’d you find out?”
“How could I not notice when it was so obvious?”
“But, I tried my best to hide as much as I could…”
Deep wrinkles formed on the Empress’ forehead.
A moment later, the Empress asked in a cautious tone.
“…did Charlize find out as well?”
“She’s a quick-witted child, so it’s a possibility.”
“Oh no, what have I done…”
The Empress’ shoulders hung with gloom at the head maid’s firm answer.
The head maid sighed.
“You’ll become a hindrance to the maids if you keep hiding like that…”
“I know, I know…it’s very unbefitting for an empress to act like that, but…” the Empress bit her lips in aggravation.
With her head down, the Empress murmured in a small voice.
“…Lize must be mad at me.”
‘Charlize was definitely mad at me. She wouldn’t even look me in the eyes…’
Her chest felt stuffy, as if it was filled with rocks and lead.
“I want to ask her for her forgiveness, but I don’t know how to apologize or where I should begin…”
“…is Charlize that precious to you?”
“Yes, of course,” the answer came out in a clear and honest tone.
The Empress raised her head and looked straight at the maid. Her dark green eyes were full of stubbornness.
“You know… Charlize, she’s…one of the few people who genuinely cares about me.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. Although she didn’t know that I was the Empress, she’d treat me sincerely.”
From the Empress’ point of view, it was as if Charlize was woven out of pure silver thread and lilac.
When she saw her broad smile, she felt as if her troubles had been washed away and were never there to begin with.
The Empress smiled at the memory.
“You already know, don’t you? The reason people follow me is because I’m the Empress of this empire,” the Empress said, a hint of ridicule heard in her voice.
The Empress, Mother of the empire, the First Lady of Winsor.
She had never wanted any of those brilliant names. Before she had become the Empress, she was a girl named, ‘Eloise’, who didn’t mean anything.
But Charlize regarded her as Sister Rose.
“If Charlize is so upset, why don’t you have a heart-to-heart talk with her?”
“A heart-to-heart talk?”
“Yes, she’s an intelligent child. I’m sure she’ll understand the Empress.”
The Empress went silent when she heard the advice. After a long moment of silence, she spoke in a heavy tone, “What if Charlize refuses me? What if she has no intention of forgiving me?”
The Empress looked up at the head maid, looking for an answer.
“But it’d be much better than never talking,” the head maid said, smiling placidly.
“You said Charlize was precious to you, didn’t you?”
“If this goes on, the Empress will lose Charlize forever.”
The empress nodded in realization.
Yes, it was better than losing Charlize forever.
* * *
The next morning…
After a light shower and a change of clothes, I went out the door to start my day.
I opened the door without thinking, and I screamed loudly.
“Ahhh!”
Because the Empress was squatting right in front of my door!
Who in the world wouldn’t be surprised in this situation?
‘Uhh, since when have you been there?’
After overcoming my surprise, I slowly approached the Empress.
“Greetings to Her Majesty.”
The Empress raised her head and looked at me.
My mouth was agape, but no sound could be heard as I contemplated what to do next.
“The floor is cold. It won’t be good for your health if you sit like this!”
Instead of answering, her eyes came in contact with mine.
‘Did I do something wrong? What is it? Can’t she just tell me? My heart is pounding so much!’
“Lize.”
“Y-yes!”
“We need to talk.”
‘If you wanted to talk to me, wouldn’t it have been better if you called me from your office?’
I suppressed my desire to ask the question.
Not only that, I was anxious at the words ‘we need to talk’!
* * *
The Empress silently walked in front of me.
As we walked along, the familiar scenery caught my eyes.
‘What are we doing here?’
My eyes widened.
We were at a separate palace where no one was around. …it was the secret meeting place Sister Rose and I would meet at. The blooming roses casted a red shadow over the beautiful view.
I had so many wonderful memories in this garden.
My heart was pounding from the unfamiliar silence.
The Empress finally spoke, “Lize.”
My body unconsciously flinched.
I snuck a glance at the Empress.
She brushed a speck of invisible dust off her shoulders and her eyes came in contact with mine.
“You know, this is an annex of the Empress’ Palace.”
“Pardon?”
I nervously swallowed upon hearing the new piece of information.
My first encounter with Sister Rose happened because I snuck into this same garden.
…so didn’t that mean I was the one who first approached the Empress?
“Come here and sit down.”
The Empress, who had laid a handkerchief on the floor, beckoned me to come closer.
My eyes trembled.
The pleasant memories I had spent with Sister Rose poured out as if a storm had been unleashed.
We would sit side-by-side under the shade of the roses and chatter to my heart’s content, while Rose would quietly listen.
‘…no, she’s the Empress.’
I approached her slowly and sat down on the handkerchief.
The Empress inched closer to me.
The heat that came from the Empress’ body came to my shoulders and warmed my whole body.
“At first, you just stood out to me,” the Empress spoke calmly as she glanced gently at me. Warmth and gentleness could be seen in her dark green eyes.
“There are so many people in the palace, but there are only a few children.”
I softly nodded.
It was very rare to see a child working in the Imperial Palace.
To be exact, there were no other children besides me.
The maids would usually leave once they were wedded.
It was quite common for them to re-enter the palace once they’ve raised their children, but…
According to the novel, the Empress never had a child.
“I was surprised when I saw a child who was wearing a maid uniform. Not only that, but she was hiding in the corner of my palace while crying…”
The Empress’ eyes dimmed when she recalled those days.
A moment later, she revealed a happy smile. “…so I spoke to you on an impulse. Do you remember?”
“Oh…”
“ ‘By any chance, are you visiting the Imperial Palace?’ ” the Empress said in nostalgia, repeating the same words Charlize had first said to her.
Yeah, I was naive back then. That’s why I’ve been reflecting on myself.
‘But isn’t this misleading? Out of all people, I just had to meet the Empress at the corner of the palace where she just happened to pass by. This novel is so bizarre!’
“When people find out that I’m the Empress, they all stay away from me. As much as they respect me, they fear me just the same.”
“But you’re the Empress…isn’t it natural for everyone to respect and fear you?”
“But that reverence is given to the First Lady of Winsor, not ‘Eloise’.”
I went silent.
The Empress smiled even more, but no happiness could be seen. Instead, it was filled with ire and fatigue.
“I only want to be ‘Eloise’, not the Empress. Even if it’s only to one person.”
“Your Majesty…”
“It sounds like an excuse, but that’s the reason why I lied to you about me being the Empress.”
If I were to be honest, her story baffled me. I was at a loss at what to do and didn’t know how to answer her confession.
Up until now, I was torn between “Sister Rose” and the “Empress”.
‘Was I just confused?’
…no, I wasn’t. I felt betrayed.
The fact that Sister Rose had deceived me was painful.
But because of my affection for “Sister Rose”…
As sincere as she was, the memories we’d made so far…
It all felt like a big lie.
“So I thought that it’d be easy for me to talk to you, and that it wouldn’t be so strange to regularly see you in the Imperial Palace.”
But when I heard the truth from the Empress herself, I asked myself a question.
If I knew the Empress’ identity from the beginning, would I still have treated her sincerely?
No, I wouldn’t have.
The only reason why I tried to avoid the Empress was because she killed the “original Charlize”, but I wasn’t the original Charlize.
The Empress could be the same.
It was as if I was someone who was wrapped up in their prejudice and couldn’t see the truth.
‘…maybe it was my fault.’
I bit my lips in shame.
“And as I spent time with you…I discovered something.”
“What?”
“Your eyes, they were too mature for your age.”
She paused. Eventually, the Empress, who seemed to be having a hard time choosing her words, gave out a long and deep sigh.
“It was the look of someone who seemed to have given up on everything. It was similar to myself, so that’s why you intrigued me even more.”
The look of someone losing hope.
I knew what the Empress meant.
I struggled to not get onto the path the original novel had set up for me.
I endured the bullying from the maids-in-training, thinking that it was alright as long as I survived.
But inside of me, the Empress saw herself.
Chapter 15
TL/Editor: Nox/Diya
“Cough.“
For the first time, on the face of the always-composed Empress, there was a look of awkwardness.
Her eyes widened in surprise.
“How’d you find out?”
“How could I not notice when it was so obvious?”
“But, I tried my best to hide as much as I could…”
Deep wrinkles formed on the Empress’ forehead.
A moment later, the Empress asked in a cautious tone.
“…did Charlize find out as well?”
“She’s a quick-witted child, so it’s a possibility.”
“Oh no, what have I done…”
The Empress’ shoulders hung with gloom at the head maid’s firm answer.
The head maid sighed.
“You’ll become a hindrance to the maids if you keep hiding like that…”
“I know, I know…it’s very unbefitting for an empress to act like that, but…” the Empress bit her lips in aggravation.
With her head down, the Empress murmured in a small voice.
“…Lize must be mad at me.”
‘Charlize was definitely mad at me. She wouldn’t even look me in the eyes…’
Her chest felt stuffy, as if it was filled with rocks and lead.
“I want to ask her for her forgiveness, but I don’t know how to apologize or where I should begin…”
“…is Charlize that precious to you?”
“Yes, of course,” the answer came out in a clear and honest tone.
The Empress raised her head and looked straight at the maid. Her dark green eyes were full of stubbornness.
“You know… Charlize, she’s…one of the few people who genuinely cares about me.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. Although she didn’t know that I was the Empress, she’d treat me sincerely.”
From the Empress’ point of view, it was as if Charlize was woven out of pure silver thread and lilac.
When she saw her broad smile, she felt as if her troubles had been washed away and were never there to begin with.
The Empress smiled at the memory.
“You already know, don’t you? The reason people follow me is because I’m the Empress of this empire,” the Empress said, a hint of ridicule heard in her voice.
The Empress, Mother of the empire, the First Lady of Winsor.
She had never wanted any of those brilliant names. Before she had become the Empress, she was a girl named, ‘Eloise’, who didn’t mean anything.
But Charlize regarded her as Sister Rose.
“If Charlize is so upset, why don’t you have a heart-to-heart talk with her?”
“A heart-to-heart talk?”
“Yes, she’s an intelligent child. I’m sure she’ll understand the Empress.”
The Empress went silent when she heard the advice. After a long moment of silence, she spoke in a heavy tone, “What if Charlize refuses me? What if she has no intention of forgiving me?”
The Empress looked up at the head maid, looking for an answer.
“But it’d be much better than never talking,” the head maid said, smiling placidly.
“You said Charlize was precious to you, didn’t you?”
“If this goes on, the Empress will lose Charlize forever.”
The empress nodded in realization.
Yes, it was better than losing Charlize forever.
* * *
The next morning…
After a light shower and a change of clothes, I went out the door to start my day.
I opened the door without thinking, and I screamed loudly.
“Ahhh!”
Because the Empress was squatting right in front of my door!
Who in the world wouldn’t be surprised in this situation?
‘Uhh, since when have you been there?’
After overcoming my surprise, I slowly approached the Empress.
“Greetings to Her Majesty.”
The Empress raised her head and looked at me.
My mouth was agape, but no sound could be heard as I contemplated what to do next.
“The floor is cold. It won’t be good for your health if you sit like this!”
Instead of answering, her eyes came in contact with mine.
‘Did I do something wrong? What is it? Can’t she just tell me? My heart is pounding so much!’
“Lize.”
“Y-yes!”
“We need to talk.”
‘If you wanted to talk to me, wouldn’t it have been better if you called me from your office?’
I suppressed my desire to ask the question.
Not only that, I was anxious at the words ‘we need to talk’!
* * *
The Empress silently walked in front of me.
As we walked along, the familiar scenery caught my eyes.
‘What are we doing here?’
My eyes widened.
We were at a separate palace where no one was around. …it was the secret meeting place Sister Rose and I would meet at. The blooming roses casted a red shadow over the beautiful view.
I had so many wonderful memories in this garden.
My heart was pounding from the unfamiliar silence.
The Empress finally spoke, “Lize.”
My body unconsciously flinched.
I snuck a glance at the Empress.
She brushed a speck of invisible dust off her shoulders and her eyes came in contact with mine.
“You know, this is an annex of the Empress’ Palace.”
“Pardon?”
I nervously swallowed upon hearing the new piece of information.
My first encounter with Sister Rose happened because I snuck into this same garden.
…so didn’t that mean I was the one who first approached the Empress?
“Come here and sit down.”
The Empress, who had laid a handkerchief on the floor, beckoned me to come closer.
My eyes trembled.
The pleasant memories I had spent with Sister Rose poured out as if a storm had been unleashed.
We would sit side-by-side under the shade of the roses and chatter to my heart’s content, while Rose would quietly listen.
‘…no, she’s the Empress.’
I approached her slowly and sat down on the handkerchief.
The Empress inched closer to me.
The heat that came from the Empress’ body came to my shoulders and warmed my whole body.
“At first, you just stood out to me,” the Empress spoke calmly as she glanced gently at me. Warmth and gentleness could be seen in her dark green eyes.
“There are so many people in the palace, but there are only a few children.”
I softly nodded.
It was very rare to see a child working in the Imperial Palace.
To be exact, there were no other children besides me.
The maids would usually leave once they were wedded.
It was quite common for them to re-enter the palace once they’ve raised their children, but…
According to the novel, the Empress never had a child.
“I was surprised when I saw a child who was wearing a maid uniform. Not only that, but she was hiding in the corner of my palace while crying…”
The Empress’ eyes dimmed when she recalled those days.
A moment later, she revealed a happy smile. “…so I spoke to you on an impulse. Do you remember?”
“Oh…”
“ ‘By any chance, are you visiting the Imperial Palace?’ ” the Empress said in nostalgia, repeating the same words Charlize had first said to her.
Yeah, I was naive back then. That’s why I’ve been reflecting on myself.
‘But isn’t this misleading? Out of all people, I just had to meet the Empress at the corner of the palace where she just happened to pass by. This novel is so bizarre!’
“When people find out that I’m the Empress, they all stay away from me. As much as they respect me, they fear me just the same.”
“But you’re the Empress…isn’t it natural for everyone to respect and fear you?”
“But that reverence is given to the First Lady of Winsor, not ‘Eloise’.”
I went silent.
The Empress smiled even more, but no happiness could be seen. Instead, it was filled with ire and fatigue.
“I only want to be ‘Eloise’, not the Empress. Even if it’s only to one person.”
“Your Majesty…”
“It sounds like an excuse, but that’s the reason why I lied to you about me being the Empress.”
If I were to be honest, her story baffled me. I was at a loss at what to do and didn’t know how to answer her confession.
Up until now, I was torn between “Sister Rose” and the “Empress”.
‘Was I just confused?’
…no, I wasn’t. I felt betrayed.
The fact that Sister Rose had deceived me was painful.
But because of my affection for “Sister Rose”…
As sincere as she was, the memories we’d made so far…
It all felt like a big lie.
“So I thought that it’d be easy for me to talk to you, and that it wouldn’t be so strange to regularly see you in the Imperial Palace.”
But when I heard the truth from the Empress herself, I asked myself a question.
If I knew the Empress’ identity from the beginning, would I still have treated her sincerely?
No, I wouldn’t have.
The only reason why I tried to avoid the Empress was because she killed the “original Charlize”, but I wasn’t the original Charlize.
The Empress could be the same.
It was as if I was someone who was wrapped up in their prejudice and couldn’t see the truth.
‘…maybe it was my fault.’
I bit my lips in shame.
“And as I spent time with you…I discovered something.”
“What?”
“Your eyes, they were too mature for your age.”
She paused. Eventually, the Empress, who seemed to be having a hard time choosing her words, gave out a long and deep sigh.
“It was the look of someone who seemed to have given up on everything. It was similar to myself, so that’s why you intrigued me even more.”
The look of someone losing hope.
I knew what the Empress meant.
I struggled to not get onto the path the original novel had set up for me.
I endured the bullying from the maids-in-training, thinking that it was alright as long as I survived.
But inside of me, the Empress saw herself.
