69.
Unwanted tears poured out endlessly. Nothing ever went her way. Self-loathing seeped into every corner of her heart. As Ercella caught Vicente sighing, her heart sank. Are you crying again, what if he asks that? I should…stop crying. She quickly wiped away her tears.
‘Why can’t I stop?’
However, the clear tears kept falling down her cheeks, unable to stop. It was frustrating to cry in front of Vicente, but she just couldn’t stop crying.
Ercella was feeling so silly and mortified, that she wanted to run away to a place with no one else. At this moment, she felt really foolish and resented everything. She hated everything. She didn’t know exactly what she hated, but she felt revolted by everything.
When she looked at Vicente through her swollen eyes, he sighed again. Ercella’s heart stung at the successive sighs of resignation. She had a faint inkling of what he was thinking. He must find me pathetic. I’m sure he thinks it’s appalling to cry all the time because I can’t control my emotions.
I look stupid in my own eyes, so how else would I look in Vicente’s eyes? Feeling agonized, Ercella gently lowered her eyelids. She didn’t want to face Vicente. No, she couldn’t. At that moment she heard Vicente’s voice.
“I think of this often.”
Lingering heat permeated her eyes.
“You sure cry a lot.”
Ercella raised her head. Vicente was reaching out and wiping off her tears. Still expressionless, he said, “Don’t cry. Crying doesn’t solve anything.”
The cold voice pierced her heart.
“…I know,” Ercella replied weakly. Do you think someone cries because they want to? She opened her eyes wide. However, tears kept pouring out, as if mocking her that it was a useless gimmick.
Vicente spoke as if he had resigned to her tears that leaked even after wiping again and again, “Do you have a handkerchief?”
“…I don’t.”
Vicente’s brows slightly drew together. “I’ll bring your attendant, so please wait here for a moment.”
“I’m…fine.”
“You may be fine, Mother, but Father might kill me.”
At Vicente’s serious words, she raised her eyes to look at him. He pursed his lips while glancing at her stinging eyes. She had not looked in the mirror, but she assumed that it was too dark for her eyes to look evidently red. If she didn’t wipe away the tears, they would leave marks on her face.
What if my eyes become swollen? Ercella admitted she couldn’t be stubborn anymore.
“Then…please do so.”
“Please rest for a while.”
After that, Vicente entered the hall.
* * *
“Why do you look at me like that, my Lady?”
Adora looked at the man in front of her. She resented Countess Zardea more than ever at that moment. What were the odds of suddenly meeting the man she was supposed to marry?
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s a bit embarrassing, I know. I feel the same, so just relax.”
He had a good face and was a man of few words. Kayron Dartner, was it? He was said to be a decent man. Nothing too good or bad. After all, it was her mother who carefully chose him.
Nevertheless, Adora did not like him. It wasn’t that the man was lacking. Everything seemed wrong just because she did not wish to get married.
“We’re both adults so at the earliest, we might get married next year.”
“I see.”
“Are you worried?”
Facing Kayron Dartner’s concern, Adora recognized that her expression was too stiff. Obviously, that was too impolite. Adora tried to smile and nodded softly, “A little.”
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t neglect my Lady, even after I become a count.”
“I’ll cherish you. Oh, I heard you’re studying theology. How amazing! There aren’t many people who study Ludelsian theology in Grania.”
Do you not like it because it’s considered a useless subject to study in this country?
As Adora hesitated to speak, Kayron Dartner waved his hand and laughed, “Don’t worry. I’ll let it go, so you’re free to study whatever you want, my Lady. As your future husband, I have no intention of restraining you.”
“…Thank you,” Adora said but thought about why she should be grateful for it. Thoughts soon spiraled in her head. What is the extent of ‘negligence’ to this man? What does he mean by cherish? Until when? How much can he let go? No, is he even qualified to look after me in the first place? What if his mindset changes? What will happen to me then?
It was a mystery to her since she didn’t know the man.
“I heard that you became Duchess Bernhardt’s lady-in-waiting. Isn’t it hard?”
“No, she isn’t difficult to approach.”
“There’s also a young man in that family.”
“If you’re talking about Young Duke Bernhardt…” Adora thought of Vicente. Her first impression of him wasn’t much different from what she had imagined. He was a blunt, businesslike boy who was authoritative and tolerant enough for his position.
“…I don’t know, since we never come across each other in the mansion,” Adora replied. How would they even come across? They lived in a completely different world. The noble boy was essentially a different person from her, who had to always humble herself before him. Had she not been the Duchess’s lady-in-waiting, Adora wouldn’t have even seen his face.
“Oh, I heard—”
Suddenly, there was a commotion in the hall. Kayron, who stopped talking, turned to look towards the epicenter of the noise. Adora’s eyes also turned in that direction. At the same time, she heard people whispering.
“What’s going on?”
“Did you hear? Young Duke Bernhardt refused to dance with the Lady.”
“What? Weren’t they getting engaged?”
“He’s never learned to dance, but how come…”
“Goodness, does it make sense that a fifteen-year-old, from the honorable House Bernhardt at that, doesn’t know how to dance? What was the Duchess thinking, bringing such a son here?”
“I guess you don’t know. The Duchess neglects her son.”
“Huh! Even so!”
Adora was agape while looking at the commotion. That the boy, who had never made a single mistake in etiquette, did not learn to dance, was completely absurd. But even if he did know how to dance, it was still a problem. He knew yet he did not show courtesy to the Lady. It was a greater insolence.
“What a pity.”
“What do you mean?”
Kayron Dartner clicked his tongue, “It’s not uncommon for mothers to be cold to their children, but it’s unpleasant to hear that the Duchess was also one of them. Rumor has it that she even used violence.”
“It’s just a rumor.”
When Adora immediately refuted, the man slyly continued his cynical remark, “Anyway, a born child is innocent.”
“…”
“I wonder if it’s hard for a person who was so loved to give love.”
Adora did not answer.
Sensing the sharp silence, Kayron Dartner looked troubled. “I misspoke to the Duchess’s lady-in-waiting. Please don’t mind my words.”
Adora pressed her lips together. As a member of a noble family, he did not cross the line. Yet, he threw out enough words to bury her in blame before he stopped talking.
In hindsight, he didn’t even say anything wrong. The Duchess being indifferent to her son, the rumors that she would hit him, that a born child was innocent, and what was so difficult for a loved person to give love— there was nothing wrong in it. Therefore, if Adora, her lady-in-waiting, spoke up for her, it would only sound like lame excuses. Adora thought unconsciously.
She believed that whatever the Duchess said, it would be nothing but an excuse.
As the momentary heat died down, the ballroom returned to its original atmosphere. Adora also resumed talking to Kayron Dartner, but couldn’t help feeling bored.
Rather, she was concerned about what the Duchess was doing. At this point, she wanted to cut the conversation in a timely manner, but Kayron had no such intention. He even seemed quite amused by the conversation with Adora.
That was unfortunate for Adora. She couldn’t turn her back to a man from a great family. Otherwise, obviously the arrows would fly to her mother. She lamented her plight inwardly.
“…My Lord?”
Vicente walked up to them.
“Lady Zardea, I need you for a second.”
He wasn’t even looking at Kayron Dartner.
“Is there a problem?”
“There is,” with a short reply, Vicente reached out to Adora. For him to do something unusual, it seemed very urgent. She put her hand in his without hesitation.
“I greet the esteemed son of Bernhardt,” said Kayron Dartner. “I’m Dartner’s—”
“Nice to meet you, Lord Kayron Dartner. I’d like to greet you formally, but the situation isn’t favorable right now.” Vicente cut off Kayron’s words and nodded in annoyance. Startled by his rudeness, Adora involuntarily looked at Kayron. Kayron’s smile had disappeared.
“The person my Lord is holding is my betrothed. I’m afraid your fiancée would be upset to find this out. And you’ve already done that.”
“You’re yet to marry Lady Zardea, and I’m not engaged to Lady Garten, either. So I believe there should be no issues.”
Adora stood awkwardly between the two.
“And the Lady is my mother’s lady-in-waiting.”
“That’s…”
“Mother is looking for you.”
Kayron Dartner’s mouth shut quietly. What could he say when the person she was serving was asking for her?
“Then, excuse us.” With that insincere greeting, Vicente left with Adora. As they moved away from Kayron Dartner, Adora asked, “What happened to the Duchess?”
“Do you have a handkerchief?”
Noticing the nuance, Adora was startled, “Yes, I do… Did the Duchess cry?”
“…She needs someone who can put powder on her face.”
That meant she had cried. But there was one other problem. If her face was covered with tears, she would have to redo all her makeup…
“I don’t know how to apply makeup.”
She didn’t know how to put on makeup. Naturally. She was also a noblewoman. However, Vicente squinted his eyes as if it wasn’t natural. Although he didn’t say it out loud, Adora felt that it was unfair, especially since Vicente was looking at her as if asking her what she could do then.
* * *
“…Don’t ever…”
Juan looked coldly at Kyle, who was consumed with vengeance. He took a short breath and completed the sentence.
“Call me to such a place, Brother.”
He aimlessly walked away from Kyle. No one cared about the second son of the family who had gone down the path to ruin.
However, there was nowhere for him to go, so his feet stopped in place. Juan let out a deep sigh, feeling helpless that he could not completely escape from his family even at this moment. He stood there for a long time.
A raven-haired boy passed by him. Juan’s gaze blankly followed the boy’s back. A boy that resembled Duke Bernhardt. The offspring of Visaride and Bernhardt. The source of Robert’s downfall was right there. He suddenly doubted himself. Do you really hate them? Do you resent them? Juan wiped his face at these horrifying doubts.
‘I need to cool off my head.’
He didn’t want to do anything stupid while being possessed by malice. He opened the terrace door, thinking it would be all right to get some cold air.
“…”
And then they met.
“Sir Juan?”
A woman was crying as she had done back then.
* * *
I forgot lol
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69.
Unwanted tears poured out endlessly. Nothing ever went her way. Self-loathing seeped into every corner of her heart. As Ercella caught Vicente sighing, her heart sank. Are you crying again, what if he asks that? I should…stop crying. She quickly wiped away her tears.
‘Why can’t I stop?’
However, the clear tears kept falling down her cheeks, unable to stop. It was frustrating to cry in front of Vicente, but she just couldn’t stop crying.
Ercella was feeling so silly and mortified, that she wanted to run away to a place with no one else. At this moment, she felt really foolish and resented everything. She hated everything. She didn’t know exactly what she hated, but she felt revolted by everything.
When she looked at Vicente through her swollen eyes, he sighed again. Ercella’s heart stung at the successive sighs of resignation. She had a faint inkling of what he was thinking. He must find me pathetic. I’m sure he thinks it’s appalling to cry all the time because I can’t control my emotions.
I look stupid in my own eyes, so how else would I look in Vicente’s eyes? Feeling agonized, Ercella gently lowered her eyelids. She didn’t want to face Vicente. No, she couldn’t. At that moment she heard Vicente’s voice.
“I think of this often.”
Lingering heat permeated her eyes.
“You sure cry a lot.”
Ercella raised her head. Vicente was reaching out and wiping off her tears. Still expressionless, he said, “Don’t cry. Crying doesn’t solve anything.”
The cold voice pierced her heart.
“…I know,” Ercella replied weakly. Do you think someone cries because they want to? She opened her eyes wide. However, tears kept pouring out, as if mocking her that it was a useless gimmick.
Vicente spoke as if he had resigned to her tears that leaked even after wiping again and again, “Do you have a handkerchief?”
“…I don’t.”
Vicente’s brows slightly drew together. “I’ll bring your attendant, so please wait here for a moment.”
“I’m…fine.”
“You may be fine, Mother, but Father might kill me.”
At Vicente’s serious words, she raised her eyes to look at him. He pursed his lips while glancing at her stinging eyes. She had not looked in the mirror, but she assumed that it was too dark for her eyes to look evidently red. If she didn’t wipe away the tears, they would leave marks on her face.
What if my eyes become swollen? Ercella admitted she couldn’t be stubborn anymore.
“Then…please do so.”
“Please rest for a while.”
After that, Vicente entered the hall.
* * *
“Why do you look at me like that, my Lady?”
Adora looked at the man in front of her. She resented Countess Zardea more than ever at that moment. What were the odds of suddenly meeting the man she was supposed to marry?
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s a bit embarrassing, I know. I feel the same, so just relax.”
He had a good face and was a man of few words. Kayron Dartner, was it? He was said to be a decent man. Nothing too good or bad. After all, it was her mother who carefully chose him.
Nevertheless, Adora did not like him. It wasn’t that the man was lacking. Everything seemed wrong just because she did not wish to get married.
“We’re both adults so at the earliest, we might get married next year.”
“I see.”
“Are you worried?”
Facing Kayron Dartner’s concern, Adora recognized that her expression was too stiff. Obviously, that was too impolite. Adora tried to smile and nodded softly, “A little.”
“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t neglect my Lady, even after I become a count.”
“I’ll cherish you. Oh, I heard you’re studying theology. How amazing! There aren’t many people who study Ludelsian theology in Grania.”
Do you not like it because it’s considered a useless subject to study in this country?
As Adora hesitated to speak, Kayron Dartner waved his hand and laughed, “Don’t worry. I’ll let it go, so you’re free to study whatever you want, my Lady. As your future husband, I have no intention of restraining you.”
“…Thank you,” Adora said but thought about why she should be grateful for it. Thoughts soon spiraled in her head. What is the extent of ‘negligence’ to this man? What does he mean by cherish? Until when? How much can he let go? No, is he even qualified to look after me in the first place? What if his mindset changes? What will happen to me then?
It was a mystery to her since she didn’t know the man.
“I heard that you became Duchess Bernhardt’s lady-in-waiting. Isn’t it hard?”
“No, she isn’t difficult to approach.”
“There’s also a young man in that family.”
“If you’re talking about Young Duke Bernhardt…” Adora thought of Vicente. Her first impression of him wasn’t much different from what she had imagined. He was a blunt, businesslike boy who was authoritative and tolerant enough for his position.
“…I don’t know, since we never come across each other in the mansion,” Adora replied. How would they even come across? They lived in a completely different world. The noble boy was essentially a different person from her, who had to always humble herself before him. Had she not been the Duchess’s lady-in-waiting, Adora wouldn’t have even seen his face.
“Oh, I heard—”
Suddenly, there was a commotion in the hall. Kayron, who stopped talking, turned to look towards the epicenter of the noise. Adora’s eyes also turned in that direction. At the same time, she heard people whispering.
“What’s going on?”
“Did you hear? Young Duke Bernhardt refused to dance with the Lady.”
“What? Weren’t they getting engaged?”
“He’s never learned to dance, but how come…”
“Goodness, does it make sense that a fifteen-year-old, from the honorable House Bernhardt at that, doesn’t know how to dance? What was the Duchess thinking, bringing such a son here?”
“I guess you don’t know. The Duchess neglects her son.”
“Huh! Even so!”
Adora was agape while looking at the commotion. That the boy, who had never made a single mistake in etiquette, did not learn to dance, was completely absurd. But even if he did know how to dance, it was still a problem. He knew yet he did not show courtesy to the Lady. It was a greater insolence.
“What a pity.”
“What do you mean?”
Kayron Dartner clicked his tongue, “It’s not uncommon for mothers to be cold to their children, but it’s unpleasant to hear that the Duchess was also one of them. Rumor has it that she even used violence.”
“It’s just a rumor.”
When Adora immediately refuted, the man slyly continued his cynical remark, “Anyway, a born child is innocent.”
“…”
“I wonder if it’s hard for a person who was so loved to give love.”
Adora did not answer.
Sensing the sharp silence, Kayron Dartner looked troubled. “I misspoke to the Duchess’s lady-in-waiting. Please don’t mind my words.”
Adora pressed her lips together. As a member of a noble family, he did not cross the line. Yet, he threw out enough words to bury her in blame before he stopped talking.
In hindsight, he didn’t even say anything wrong. The Duchess being indifferent to her son, the rumors that she would hit him, that a born child was innocent, and what was so difficult for a loved person to give love— there was nothing wrong in it. Therefore, if Adora, her lady-in-waiting, spoke up for her, it would only sound like lame excuses. Adora thought unconsciously.
She believed that whatever the Duchess said, it would be nothing but an excuse.
As the momentary heat died down, the ballroom returned to its original atmosphere. Adora also resumed talking to Kayron Dartner, but couldn’t help feeling bored.
Rather, she was concerned about what the Duchess was doing. At this point, she wanted to cut the conversation in a timely manner, but Kayron had no such intention. He even seemed quite amused by the conversation with Adora.
That was unfortunate for Adora. She couldn’t turn her back to a man from a great family. Otherwise, obviously the arrows would fly to her mother. She lamented her plight inwardly.
“…My Lord?”
Vicente walked up to them.
“Lady Zardea, I need you for a second.”
He wasn’t even looking at Kayron Dartner.
“Is there a problem?”
“There is,” with a short reply, Vicente reached out to Adora. For him to do something unusual, it seemed very urgent. She put her hand in his without hesitation.
“I greet the esteemed son of Bernhardt,” said Kayron Dartner. “I’m Dartner’s—”
“Nice to meet you, Lord Kayron Dartner. I’d like to greet you formally, but the situation isn’t favorable right now.” Vicente cut off Kayron’s words and nodded in annoyance. Startled by his rudeness, Adora involuntarily looked at Kayron. Kayron’s smile had disappeared.
“The person my Lord is holding is my betrothed. I’m afraid your fiancée would be upset to find this out. And you’ve already done that.”
“You’re yet to marry Lady Zardea, and I’m not engaged to Lady Garten, either. So I believe there should be no issues.”
Adora stood awkwardly between the two.
“And the Lady is my mother’s lady-in-waiting.”
“That’s…”
“Mother is looking for you.”
Kayron Dartner’s mouth shut quietly. What could he say when the person she was serving was asking for her?
“Then, excuse us.” With that insincere greeting, Vicente left with Adora. As they moved away from Kayron Dartner, Adora asked, “What happened to the Duchess?”
“Do you have a handkerchief?”
Noticing the nuance, Adora was startled, “Yes, I do… Did the Duchess cry?”
“…She needs someone who can put powder on her face.”
That meant she had cried. But there was one other problem. If her face was covered with tears, she would have to redo all her makeup…
“I don’t know how to apply makeup.”
She didn’t know how to put on makeup. Naturally. She was also a noblewoman. However, Vicente squinted his eyes as if it wasn’t natural. Although he didn’t say it out loud, Adora felt that it was unfair, especially since Vicente was looking at her as if asking her what she could do then.
* * *
“…Don’t ever…”
Juan looked coldly at Kyle, who was consumed with vengeance. He took a short breath and completed the sentence.
“Call me to such a place, Brother.”
He aimlessly walked away from Kyle. No one cared about the second son of the family who had gone down the path to ruin.
However, there was nowhere for him to go, so his feet stopped in place. Juan let out a deep sigh, feeling helpless that he could not completely escape from his family even at this moment. He stood there for a long time.
A raven-haired boy passed by him. Juan’s gaze blankly followed the boy’s back. A boy that resembled Duke Bernhardt. The offspring of Visaride and Bernhardt. The source of Robert’s downfall was right there. He suddenly doubted himself. Do you really hate them? Do you resent them? Juan wiped his face at these horrifying doubts.
‘I need to cool off my head.’
He didn’t want to do anything stupid while being possessed by malice. He opened the terrace door, thinking it would be all right to get some cold air.
“…”
And then they met.
“Sir Juan?”
A woman was crying as she had done back then.
* * *
I forgot lol
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