Chapter 1176: 1176
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"Levine?"
Jane’s question was not answered. Instead, Levien fell into his own thoughts. The room fell into silence for a while, which made Jane even more angry. Even during the conversation, Levi Eun would be distracted, as always as a bastard, Jane yelled again anxiously.
Levine returned to his senses, the blankness in his eyes still did not dissipate, Jane spread out his hands with an incredible face, and then asked with his eyes.
Only then did Levine reacted, and suddenly realized that he gently retracted his jaw, but then his brain came back to his senses, and then he realized that the words they were talking just now, the words that rushed to their mouths became "No," It's okay".
Subconsciously raised his hand and waved, but then a deep tiredness hit his heart, and he shook his head helplessly, even the power of the words almost disappeared, leaving only a light sigh on his mouth. The drooping eyes covered the flash of bitterness, and then he returned to calm again, with only deep exhaustion.
Jane stared at Levine quietly, the languid weight and laziness reflected in the depths of her pupils. She was slightly confused and worried, but after all she concealed it all, not surprised again, she was not curious, Without exploring, he changed the subject abruptly, "Papi is willing to let you perform on stage tomorrow and earn a few dollars."
The plain words did not fluctuate, like a pool of stagnant water, but the eyes that fell on Levine again inadvertently revealed the true emotions in her heart, even she herself did not notice it, so gently, so gently search The look between the eyebrows fluctuated. Fortunately, Levine lowered his eyes and did not notice her gaze.
Levine shook his head slightly, and then shrugged slightly, but the movement was too slight, almost invisible, but still unable to control the faint pain and fatigue that came from his head, he raised his right hand , I pressed my temples with my fingertips, trying to relieve some of the pain, but my eyebrows frowned slightly and my headache was splitting.
"No, he won't." He heard Jane's words, and Levine exhaled gently, retorting with a trace of weary and repulsion, and then the words stopped suddenly, as if his brain was stuck. , Put his right hand down, made a spread gesture, placed it in mid-air, and was stunned for a moment before he found his own voice, "I only performed there less than a month ago."
The brain's rotation is too slow, like a rusty gear.
"He will." Jane raised her voice and said loudly, "I asked him."
"Wow." Levine raised his eyes and met Jane's gaze. The gaze filled with repulsion and disgust seemed to gradually calm down, but it was calm and could not find a trace of emotions and fluctuations. The frustrated alienation and indifference slightly touched Levine's mind, and he was a little embarrassed.
"Thanks...thank you. You are really kind of doing this." Levine retracted his gaze, avoided Jane's eyes again, and then closed his eyes heavily.
All the fantasies, all the details, all the side details, all cut off, he is tired, tired of everything, tired of thinking, tired of guessing, tired of pretending, tired of persistence, tired of temptation , Even tired of cynicism, he just wanted...want to rest well.
His talents and dreams, his music and persistence are worthless in people's eyes, just the disease-free groan/groan of a down-and-out bastard, groaning and groaning in the bar, there is no value or meaning, even entertainment There is no effect either. His art and creation will always stay quietly in a corner in the gloom of Greenwich Village.
Even his father, who once loved music, seems to have given up--
When he went to the nursing home to visit his father and played his father’s favorite ballad before, his father was completely unaware and unable to comprehend. Then, he sat on the rocking chair peacefully, even the most basic human beings. All of the shame has completely disappeared.
In the face of survival, those melody and lyrics no longer have meaning, let alone the hidden life experience behind them.
So, does persistence still make sense?
He thought of Mickey.
What's more ridiculous is that he can't even leave and give up now.
He tried to become a crew member and return to the normal life track, just like countless ordinary people in society, looking for a simple job, living in peace and order, and taking away those unrealistic ideas. Put them all together, at least bid farewell to the life of lodging and wandering around in Greenwich Village.
But the crew card has been discarded by her sister. He had to go back to the union building to make up all the materials.
He dragged his luggage, went to Chicago, returned to Greenwich Village, went to the crew center, went to the nursing home, and returned to his sister's house... Along the way, he couldn't hold on anymore. He needed to put the luggage down, so Before heading to the Union Building, he came to Jim and Jane’s apartment.
After a round of thoughts, the deep feeling of powerlessness hit his mind again, lost and bitter, he still closed his eyes and let out a sigh, the pain in his mind seemed to be becoming more and more obvious. "but……"
The turning words whirled on the tip of his tongue, then opened his eyes, and looked over calmly. The deep fatigue was dragging in the depths of the eyes little by little, as if pulling his eyebrows slowly down. Finally, he calmly said, "I'm not doing it." After speaking calmly, there was no relief, no hardships and pains, just... calm.
"I'm over." Levine said. Looking at Jane flatly, there is no extra emotion in his eyes, "I plan to go back to the merchant ship."
"What? That's it?" There was no gap, Jane seemed to be shocked by accident, and the words of conditioned reflex came out directly, but after thinking about it, she suspected that Levine was just talking, just like a little The child has a temper, "Tomorrow's performance may be good for you."
Levine was still in mood swings, but his eyebrows were raised slightly invisibly, which made Jane a little angry. He couldn't help but look at the sky, but he remained unmoved. "The four hundredth time in the gaslight bar? Just for that little tip. ?" The previous 399 times were unsuccessful. Why was the 400th time different?
The mocking tone made Jane laugh dumbly, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards, "In fact, that little tip needs to be shared with others."
Levine laughed directly, "Hey." It was so ridiculous and helpless, he lowered his head, paused, then shook his head slightly, and laughed silently.
This is his situation. His dreams and art are only worth a tip basket, and the tip basket shared with other performers is equally divided among everyone. Think about your own situation, think about Mickey's situation, and think about your persistence. Everything becomes absurd and ridiculous. The more you think about it, the more incredible it becomes.
"There are other performers there." Jane added that she could capture Levine's exhaustion and helplessness, and the thick ridicule surged up. She seemed to finally realize that today's Levine is still different after all. This made Jane's tone softer, "But, the people from Time Magazine will show up."
"Oh!'Times Weekly'!" The prolonged ending was filled with deep sarcasm and ridicule, burst out sharp and fruity, and ridiculed a handful of it. The cynical bitterness once again showed its sharp edge, in the bones. Pride and loftyness are fully displayed at this moment.
This is the familiar Levine.
Jane pursed the corner of her mouth and looked at Levine with a smile, her transparent eyes gleaming with playful light, and her shallow smile was like spring water flowing into a lake, mixed with the brightness and gentleness of moonlight.
Under the gaze of these eyes, Levine was a little embarrassed, and a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, "I'm sorry." But the smile quickly disappeared from the corner of his mouth like smoke. After a moment of stunned, he Putting a serious posture, unconsciously retracted his jaw, looked at Jane intently, and said sincerely, "Sorry, thank you for your kindness."
Then Jane saw deep burnout in those eyes, not despair, but discouragement.
Despair is the tragedy after hope is shattered; but despair is that hope has never existed. The discouraged calm and numbness, so sharp, and so violent, the indifferent and calm, silent roar, but let the soul can clearly feel the surging of emotions.
For the first time, Jane realized that Levine, who was once arrogant, arrogant, and arrogant, was disappearing little by little, bruised, bloody, and full of vicissitudes of life. Not a joke.
Levine's voice was softer than ever before, and the faint hoarseness was like the waves of wheat passing by the breeze. It was not the joy of a harvest, but the desolation and loneliness, "but there will be no result." He said.
Levine quietly looked at Jane ~www.novelhall.com~ and twitched the corners of his mouth, but after all he could not put a smile on his face, just squeezed meaninglessly, "I'm tired."
That simple sentence is as heavy as it is, and it weighs heavily on Jane's heart. The Levienne-Davis whom she once fell in love with, was crazy about, and dreamed of, finally couldn't hold on anymore and became an ordinary mortal; after all the talents were dissipated, he was no longer handsome anymore. Handsome, looks like an ordinary sailor, passing by, turning around and forgetting.
That once bright and moving soul is now devastated.
Only then did Jane really realize that she had loved him.
Slightly opened his mouth, and the words stuck in his throat like this. Compared to sadness, it was more absurd and unwilling. How could he give up? How can he surrender? How can he compromise?
Shouldn't he continue to persevere, and then laugh at every materialist around him unscrupulously and arrogantly, and continue to advance recklessly and blatantly, and continue to be a person who is unlovable and contemptuous. People can't hate bastards.
How can he give up! This bastard!
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"Levine?"
Jane’s question was not answered. Instead, Levien fell into his own thoughts. The room fell into silence for a while, which made Jane even more angry. Even during the conversation, Levi Eun would be distracted, as always as a bastard, Jane yelled again anxiously.
Levine returned to his senses, the blankness in his eyes still did not dissipate, Jane spread out his hands with an incredible face, and then asked with his eyes.
Only then did Levine reacted, and suddenly realized that he gently retracted his jaw, but then his brain came back to his senses, and then he realized that the words they were talking just now, the words that rushed to their mouths became "No," It's okay".
Subconsciously raised his hand and waved, but then a deep tiredness hit his heart, and he shook his head helplessly, even the power of the words almost disappeared, leaving only a light sigh on his mouth. The drooping eyes covered the flash of bitterness, and then he returned to calm again, with only deep exhaustion.
Jane stared at Levine quietly, the languid weight and laziness reflected in the depths of her pupils. She was slightly confused and worried, but after all she concealed it all, not surprised again, she was not curious, Without exploring, he changed the subject abruptly, "Papi is willing to let you perform on stage tomorrow and earn a few dollars."
The plain words did not fluctuate, like a pool of stagnant water, but the eyes that fell on Levine again inadvertently revealed the true emotions in her heart, even she herself did not notice it, so gently, so gently search The look between the eyebrows fluctuated. Fortunately, Levine lowered his eyes and did not notice her gaze.
Levine shook his head slightly, and then shrugged slightly, but the movement was too slight, almost invisible, but still unable to control the faint pain and fatigue that came from his head, he raised his right hand , I pressed my temples with my fingertips, trying to relieve some of the pain, but my eyebrows frowned slightly and my headache was splitting.
"No, he won't." He heard Jane's words, and Levine exhaled gently, retorting with a trace of weary and repulsion, and then the words stopped suddenly, as if his brain was stuck. , Put his right hand down, made a spread gesture, placed it in mid-air, and was stunned for a moment before he found his own voice, "I only performed there less than a month ago."
The brain's rotation is too slow, like a rusty gear.
"He will." Jane raised her voice and said loudly, "I asked him."
"Wow." Levine raised his eyes and met Jane's gaze. The gaze filled with repulsion and disgust seemed to gradually calm down, but it was calm and could not find a trace of emotions and fluctuations. The frustrated alienation and indifference slightly touched Levine's mind, and he was a little embarrassed.
"Thanks...thank you. You are really kind of doing this." Levine retracted his gaze, avoided Jane's eyes again, and then closed his eyes heavily.
All the fantasies, all the details, all the side details, all cut off, he is tired, tired of everything, tired of thinking, tired of guessing, tired of pretending, tired of persistence, tired of temptation , Even tired of cynicism, he just wanted...want to rest well.
His talents and dreams, his music and persistence are worthless in people's eyes, just the disease-free groan/groan of a down-and-out bastard, groaning and groaning in the bar, there is no value or meaning, even entertainment There is no effect either. His art and creation will always stay quietly in a corner in the gloom of Greenwich Village.
Even his father, who once loved music, seems to have given up--
When he went to the nursing home to visit his father and played his father’s favorite ballad before, his father was completely unaware and unable to comprehend. Then, he sat on the rocking chair peacefully, even the most basic human beings. All of the shame has completely disappeared.
In the face of survival, those melody and lyrics no longer have meaning, let alone the hidden life experience behind them.
So, does persistence still make sense?
He thought of Mickey.
What's more ridiculous is that he can't even leave and give up now.
He tried to become a crew member and return to the normal life track, just like countless ordinary people in society, looking for a simple job, living in peace and order, and taking away those unrealistic ideas. Put them all together, at least bid farewell to the life of lodging and wandering around in Greenwich Village.
But the crew card has been discarded by her sister. He had to go back to the union building to make up all the materials.
He dragged his luggage, went to Chicago, returned to Greenwich Village, went to the crew center, went to the nursing home, and returned to his sister's house... Along the way, he couldn't hold on anymore. He needed to put the luggage down, so Before heading to the Union Building, he came to Jim and Jane’s apartment.
After a round of thoughts, the deep feeling of powerlessness hit his mind again, lost and bitter, he still closed his eyes and let out a sigh, the pain in his mind seemed to be becoming more and more obvious. "but……"
The turning words whirled on the tip of his tongue, then opened his eyes, and looked over calmly. The deep fatigue was dragging in the depths of the eyes little by little, as if pulling his eyebrows slowly down. Finally, he calmly said, "I'm not doing it." After speaking calmly, there was no relief, no hardships and pains, just... calm.
"I'm over." Levine said. Looking at Jane flatly, there is no extra emotion in his eyes, "I plan to go back to the merchant ship."
"What? That's it?" There was no gap, Jane seemed to be shocked by accident, and the words of conditioned reflex came out directly, but after thinking about it, she suspected that Levine was just talking, just like a little The child has a temper, "Tomorrow's performance may be good for you."
Levine was still in mood swings, but his eyebrows were raised slightly invisibly, which made Jane a little angry. He couldn't help but look at the sky, but he remained unmoved. "The four hundredth time in the gaslight bar? Just for that little tip. ?" The previous 399 times were unsuccessful. Why was the 400th time different?
The mocking tone made Jane laugh dumbly, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards, "In fact, that little tip needs to be shared with others."
Levine laughed directly, "Hey." It was so ridiculous and helpless, he lowered his head, paused, then shook his head slightly, and laughed silently.
This is his situation. His dreams and art are only worth a tip basket, and the tip basket shared with other performers is equally divided among everyone. Think about your own situation, think about Mickey's situation, and think about your persistence. Everything becomes absurd and ridiculous. The more you think about it, the more incredible it becomes.
"There are other performers there." Jane added that she could capture Levine's exhaustion and helplessness, and the thick ridicule surged up. She seemed to finally realize that today's Levine is still different after all. This made Jane's tone softer, "But, the people from Time Magazine will show up."
"Oh!'Times Weekly'!" The prolonged ending was filled with deep sarcasm and ridicule, burst out sharp and fruity, and ridiculed a handful of it. The cynical bitterness once again showed its sharp edge, in the bones. Pride and loftyness are fully displayed at this moment.
This is the familiar Levine.
Jane pursed the corner of her mouth and looked at Levine with a smile, her transparent eyes gleaming with playful light, and her shallow smile was like spring water flowing into a lake, mixed with the brightness and gentleness of moonlight.
Under the gaze of these eyes, Levine was a little embarrassed, and a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, "I'm sorry." But the smile quickly disappeared from the corner of his mouth like smoke. After a moment of stunned, he Putting a serious posture, unconsciously retracted his jaw, looked at Jane intently, and said sincerely, "Sorry, thank you for your kindness."
Then Jane saw deep burnout in those eyes, not despair, but discouragement.
Despair is the tragedy after hope is shattered; but despair is that hope has never existed. The discouraged calm and numbness, so sharp, and so violent, the indifferent and calm, silent roar, but let the soul can clearly feel the surging of emotions.
For the first time, Jane realized that Levine, who was once arrogant, arrogant, and arrogant, was disappearing little by little, bruised, bloody, and full of vicissitudes of life. Not a joke.
Levine's voice was softer than ever before, and the faint hoarseness was like the waves of wheat passing by the breeze. It was not the joy of a harvest, but the desolation and loneliness, "but there will be no result." He said.
Levine quietly looked at Jane ~www.novelhall.com~ and twitched the corners of his mouth, but after all he could not put a smile on his face, just squeezed meaninglessly, "I'm tired."
That simple sentence is as heavy as it is, and it weighs heavily on Jane's heart. The Levienne-Davis whom she once fell in love with, was crazy about, and dreamed of, finally couldn't hold on anymore and became an ordinary mortal; after all the talents were dissipated, he was no longer handsome anymore. Handsome, looks like an ordinary sailor, passing by, turning around and forgetting.
That once bright and moving soul is now devastated.
Only then did Jane really realize that she had loved him.
Slightly opened his mouth, and the words stuck in his throat like this. Compared to sadness, it was more absurd and unwilling. How could he give up? How can he surrender? How can he compromise?
Shouldn't he continue to persevere, and then laugh at every materialist around him unscrupulously and arrogantly, and continue to advance recklessly and blatantly, and continue to be a person who is unlovable and contemptuous. People can't hate bastards.
How can he give up! This bastard!
"Levine?"Jane's question was not answered. Instead, Levien fell into his own thoughts. The room fell into silence for a while, which made Jane even more angry. Even during the conversation, Levi Eun would be distracted, as always as a bastard, Jane yelled again anxiously.Levine returned to his senses, the blankness in his eyes still did not dissipate, Jane spread out his hands with an incredible face, and then asked with his eyes.Only then did Levine reacted, and suddenly realized that he gently retracted his jaw, but then his brain came back to his senses, and then he realized that the words they were talking just now, the words that rushed to their mouths became "No," It's okay".Subconsciously raised his hand and waved, but then a deep tiredness hit his heart, and he shook his head helplessly, even the power of the words almost disappeared, leaving only a light sigh on his mouth. The drooping eyes covered the flash of bitterness, and then he returned to calm again, with only deep exhaustion.Jane stared at Levine quietly, the languid weight and laziness reflected in the depths of her pupils. She was slightly confused and worried, but after all she concealed it all, not surprised again, she was not curious, Without exploring, he changed the subject abruptly, "Papi is willing to let you perform on stage tomorrow and earn a few dollars."The plain words did not fluctuate, like a pool of stagnant water, but the eyes that fell on Levine again inadvertently revealed the true emotions in her heart, even she herself did not notice it, so gently, so gently search The look between the eyebrows fluctuated. Fortunately, Levine lowered his eyes and did not notice her gaze.Levine shook his head slightly, and then shrugged slightly, but the movement was too slight, almost invisible, but still unable to control the faint pain and fatigue that came from his head, he raised his right hand , I pressed my temples with my fingertips, trying to relieve some of the pain, but my eyebrows frowned slightly and my headache was splitting."No, he won't." He heard Jane's words, and Levine exhaled gently, retorting with a trace of weary and repulsion, and then the words stopped suddenly, as if his brain was stuck. , Put his right hand down, made a spread gesture, placed it in mid-air, and was stunned for a moment before he found his own voice, "I only performed there less than a month ago."The brain's rotation is too slow, like a rusty gear."He will." Jane raised her voice and said loudly, "I asked him.""Wow." Levine raised his eyes and met Jane's gaze. The gaze filled with repulsion and disgust seemed to gradually calm down, but it was calm and could not find a trace of emotions and fluctuations. The frustrated alienation and indifference slightly touched Levine's mind, and he was a little embarrassed."Thanks...thank you. You are really kind of doing this." Levine retracted his gaze, avoided Jane's eyes again, and then closed his eyes heavily.All the fantasies, all the details, all the side details, all cut off, he is tired, tired of everything, tired of thinking, tired of guessing, tired of pretending, tired of persistence, tired of temptation , Even tired of cynicism, he just wanted...want to rest well.His talents and dreams, his music and persistence are worthless in people's eyes, just the disease-free groan/groan of a down-and-out bastard, groaning and groaning in the bar, there is no value or meaning, even entertainment There is no effect either. His art and creation will always stay quietly in a corner in the gloom of Greenwich Village.Even his father, who once loved music, seems to have given up--When he went to the nursing home to visit his father and played his father's favorite ballad before, his father was completely unaware and unable to comprehend. Then, he sat on the rocking chair peacefully, even the most basic human beings. All of the shame has completely disappeared.In the face of survival, those melody and lyrics no longer have meaning, let alone the hidden life experience behind them.So, does persistence still make sense?He thought of Mickey.What's more ridiculous is that he can't even leave and give up now.He tried to become a crew member and return to the normal life track, just like countless ordinary people in society, looking for a simple job, living in peace and order, and taking away those unrealistic ideas. Put them all together, at least bid farewell to the life of lodging and wandering around in Greenwich Village.But the crew card has been discarded by her sister. He had to go back to the union building to make up all the materials.He dragged his luggage, went to Chicago, returned to Greenwich Village, went to the crew center, went to the nursing home, and returned to his sister's house... Along the way, he couldn't hold on anymore. He needed to put the luggage down, so Before heading to the Union Building, he came to Jim and Jane's apartment.After a round of thoughts, the deep feeling of powerlessness hit his mind again, lost and bitter, he still closed his eyes and let out a sigh, the pain in his mind seemed to be becoming more and more obvious. "but"The turning words whirled on the tip of his tongue, then opened his eyes, and looked over calmly. The deep fatigue was dragging in the depths of the eyes little by little, as if pulling his eyebrows slowly down. Finally, he calmly said, "I'm not doing it." After speaking calmly, there was no relief, no hardships and pains, just... calm."I'm over." Levine said. Looking at Jane flatly, there is no extra emotion in his eyes, "I plan to go back to the merchant ship.""What? That's it?" There was no gap, Jane seemed to be shocked by accident, and the words of conditioned reflex came out directly, but after thinking about it, she suspected that Levine was just talking, just like a little The child has a temper, "Tomorrow's performance may be good for you."Levine was still in mood swings, but his eyebrows were raised slightly invisibly, which made Jane a little angry. He couldn't help but look at the sky, but he remained unmoved. "The four hundredth time in the gaslight bar? Just for that little tip. ?" The previous 399 times were unsuccessful. Why was the 400th time different?The mocking tone made Jane laugh dumbly, and the corners of her mouth twitched upwards, "In fact, that little tip needs to be shared with others."Levine laughed directly, "Hey." It was so ridiculous and helpless, he lowered his head, paused, then shook his head slightly, and laughed silently.This is his situation. His dreams and art are only worth a tip basket, and the tip basket shared with other performers is equally divided among everyone. Think about your own situation, think about Mickey's situation, and think about your persistence. Everything becomes absurd and ridiculous. The more you think about it, the more incredible it becomes."There are other performers there." Jane added that she could capture Levine's exhaustion and helplessness, and the thick ridicule surged up. She seemed to finally realize that today's Levine is still different after all. This made Jane's tone softer, "But, the people from Time Magazine will show up.""Oh!'Times Weekly'!" The prolonged ending was filled with deep sarcasm and ridicule, burst out sharp and fruity, and ridiculed a handful of it. The cynical bitterness once again showed its sharp edge, in the bones. Pride and loftyness are fully displayed at this moment.This is the familiar Levine.Jane pursed the corner of her mouth and looked at Levine with a smile, her transparent eyes gleaming with playful light, and her shallow smile was like spring water flowing into a lake, mixed with the brightness and gentleness of moonlight.Under the gaze of these eyes, Levine was a little embarrassed, and a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, "I'm sorry." But the smile quickly disappeared from the corner of his mouth like smoke. After a moment of stunned, he Putting a serious posture, unconsciously retracted his jaw, looked at Jane intently, and said sincerely, "Sorry, thank you for your kindness."Then Jane saw deep burnout in those eyes, not despair, but discouragement.Despair is the tragedy after hope is shattered; but despair is that hope has never existed. The discouraged calm and numbness, so sharp, and so violent, the indifferent and calm, silent roar, but let the soul can clearly feel the surging of emotions.For the first time, Jane realized that Levine, who was once arrogant, arrogant, and arrogant, was disappearing little by little, bruised, bloody, and full of vicissitudes of life. Not a joke.Levine's voice was softer than ever before, and the faint hoarseness was like the waves of wheat passing by the breeze. It was not the joy of a harvest, but the desolation and loneliness, "but there will be no result." He said.Levine quietly looked at Jane ~www.novelhall.com~ and twitched the corners of his mouth, but after all he could not put a smile on his face, just squeezed meaninglessly, "I'm tired."That simple sentence is as heavy as it is, and it weighs heavily on Jane's heart. The Levienne-Davis whom she once fell in love with, was crazy about, and dreamed of, finally couldn't hold on anymore and became an ordinary mortal; after all the talents were dissipated, he was no longer handsome anymore. Handsome, looks like an ordinary sailor, passing by, turning around and forgetting.That once bright and moving soul is now devastated.Only then did Jane really realize that she had loved him.Slightly opened his mouth, and the words stuck in his throat like this. Compared to sadness, it was more absurd and unwilling. How could he give up? How can he surrender? How can he compromise?Shouldn't he continue to persevere, and then laugh at every materialist around him unscrupulously and arrogantly, and continue to advance recklessly and blatantly, and continue to be a person who is unlovable and contemptuous. People can't hate bastards.How can he give up! This bastard!
