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Published at 1st of July 2022 05:49:18 AM


Chapter 28

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Iveca never had to think for long when it came to the question of why she liked Anriq. The answer was too easy. Because he was the only man who talked to her and spent true, meaningful time with her when she needed it most; as a lonely, ostracized girl in the Esselburn estate. Without him, her life would have been much more difficult. Therefore, it was only natural that she gave her heart to him freely.

For the same reason, although much further forward in time, she opened her heart to Daniel too easily. Daniel was warm to her, held her hand, told her that he was her family, and came to meet her when he seemingly had no reason to do so other than spend time with her. He was the one who didn’t make her feel alone. He had presented her a job which she could do well, and cheered and supported her whenever she did that job as well as he knew she could do it.

One didn’t have to be a king, didn’t have to be so handsome, didn’t have to be good in bed. She would have given her heart to anyone if they didn’t leave her unattended. If they wrapped her in their arms and made her feel like they wouldn’t let go, Iveca would have given herself to them completely, whoever they were.

She knew this. But as she pondered the idea of what made her so easy to win over, Iveca realized she had already fallen for it with Daniel, and that pretending not to know whatever she discovered about him had become a painful habit.

If it wasn’t for her quick-witted eyes and her vigilance, she could have been just happy with Daniel’s kindness. If it wasn’t because of her personality, quietly keeping doubts in her heart, she would have grabbed Daniel right away and asked about it. The question that had no easy answer, the one that had been keeping her up at night long beyond any lovemaking session. But Iveca was fiercely all of those things, so she just had to stumble over her words and try not to give anything away.

“Aren’t you sleeping?”

A friendly voice echoed in her ears. Iveca looked up to see Daniel’s face close to hers. She touched his eyebrows, brushed his straight nose, and tucked her fingers slightly into his pretty lips. His eyes smiled as if they were surprised. His tongue licked her finger gently.

Who’s Eve Jean?

She quickly kissed him on his chest to hide the sad question that filled every corner of her body, but not before the others came flooding in like a dam had broken inside her.

She was not having children now anyway, so why did he hold her? Why did he lay her down every night and enter her so passionately, so insistently?

The questions she could not answer were piled up one after another.

Did they want to make it easy for me to give my heart away? Did they all know I would give it up like that?

She did not like subtle and complicated things. Hidden things. She hated not being able to ask openly.

Mother, was I the stable keeper’s daughter?

Questions that she could not ask for the rest of her life poured out of control and stuck in her mind. She kept her face down because she did not want to be caught crying. She kissed his belly, kissed his waist, and kissed him between his legs. Anything to make the questions stop for just a little while.

There was bitterness at the end of the lovemaking this time. The body temperature transmitted behind her back collapsed. Because she wanted more of it. Unanswered questions encroach themselves into depression. She had lived like that for eighteen years, and it was all she had known for that time.

It was all because she put him in her heart too much, too easily. Daniel treated her with the same attitude from the beginning and even let her spend time with Anriq, but she was greedy enough to be depressed all day, over the smallest trace of the woman left behind in Daniel’s life. He gave her affections, and she just needed to do her ‘work’ to him. Surely that was all he needed her for.

The thought alone kept Iveca up all night. When she thought of him, she could swallow her laughter and cried as much as she could, until the dark night passed.

And it suddenly occurred to her that it was love. This was love, whether she liked it or not. A heart that had no choice but to hold on despite knowing that it would hurt.

The difference between vaguely guessing that someone was in her partner’s mind and actually knowing the woman’s identity was too big of a blow. It was too much to not know, and far too much to live with hidden in her heart every single day.

Even her name is Eve. It was the same nickname given to her by Anriq, but everything was completely different from her. There was too much gap between the confident ace recognized by the Bureau of Investigation, and herself who was kicked out with her memories erased due to maladjustment. Her frustration, more than her jealousy, darkened her.

For a moment, she thought she was broken.

Anriq was leaving the palace early in the morning on his day off. Every ten days he had one, though it always felt longer than the last time between them. These days, he had a hard time looking at his master, Daniel. He always thought that he couldn’t figure him out, but it never had been as difficult as it was now. And it was hard to bear that the vague object making him struggle to focus and think was Iveca.

‘I like you, Anriq.’

Since he and Iveca were both at the same age and their birthdays were similar, he reached his coming-of-age day almost at the same time as her. As Iveca was about to graduate from her college, the night before he decided to enter the royal palace as an escort soldier, she murmured and made her thunderous confession to him.

‘You too… You like me too, no?”

Her words will never be denied. Anriq always felt sympathetic to Iveca, who existed like an object in the Count estate. It was a sense of alienation that was different from the sense of alienation that he had as a stranger with ‘Renka’ as a last name.

Her Countess morbidly hated her encounters with Iveca, and her sisters treated her like no other while studying together. She was given the same educational opportunities, excellent meals, and spacious room as her sisters, but that was it.

Iveca sat in the furthest most corner of the dining room, to ensure people were unaware of her presence and finished her meal halfway through everyone else finishing theirs. When the guests seemed to be coming, she quietly whispered to her maid that she was ill, and then she threw herself into the library. Anriq became Iveca’s only friend but could not be her family. Because he was going to leave one day. Of course, he was thinking of leaving the Count Estate once he came of age.

‘You are the noble daughter of Count Esselburn, and you must marry according to your family’s arrangement.’

The reason he rejected her was because he still wanted her to keep her ‘Esselburn’ name. As the bodyguard who was like a weapon of the royal family, they could not get married or create a family until they retired. He could not accept a relationship that he could not do anything but meet once every 10 days. It just wasn’t fair on anyone involved.

If he said he was going to quit being an escort, he had a difficult road ahead. He might be able to get into some upper escort squad, but if he did, he would become one of the many fallen nobles who had given up authority for a living.

In addition, if Iveca, the daughter of the great nobles, chose him, it would cause great damage to Count Esselburn. Count Esselburn had no sons, so he needed a solid foundation to support his young, adopted children until they grew up and took over the family. So, of course, the five sisters had to marry according to Ewil’s will. It was also the reason why he treated Iveca as a shameful member of his family, seemingly like an equal lady of the countess.

‘Please do not make me into an ungrateful person.’

It would be a great disgrace to Esselburn if the rumor spread that Iveca had been in contact with an orphan young man. He wasn’t that ungrateful, and he didn’t think Ivecca would be happy to come to him with all he had. At least, the person who Count Esselburn would introduce to her would be in a better situation than himself.

Still, it was hard to look into the eyes of Iveca, who was clearly hurt. He knew that she longed for his outstretched hand, but he turned a blind eye and hoped that later she would understand his intentions.

But he did not expect her to graduate college and join the Bureau of Investigation at once. And he did not expect her to disappear without contacting anyone for four years. Four years later, she was delivered to the Count estate by an investigation officer, unconscious, and suddenly a Queen with the same expression as when she was only eighteen.

And the King was driving into it. With a wistful face, he quashed criticism of Iveca at every meeting. Was it because he was considerate to Iveca or was it because he was scared and wanted to avoid any situation that could make her quit?

“Anriq?”

As he was walking through the palace in thought, a familiar voice called him. It was Count Ewil Esselburn, who was always silent in the conference hall with a hard face.

“Good evening.”

“I guess it’s your holiday because you don’t stand by His Majesty’s side today.”

“Yes, I am about to leave. But at such an early hour, how did you come to the Palace…”

Ewil stared at him, as he usually did, and sighed.

“If you are not in a hurry, why don’t you go somewhere with me?”

“Yes?”

“I’m on my way to the Queen.”

Anriq held his breath for a moment. Daniel used to strangely block the view whenever Iveca and Anriq had a chance to face each other. Was this his chance to see her unburdened?

When Iveca first entered the palace, he was never allowed to enter, and any movement of hers within the palace seemed to use a secret passage. Whenever Daniel went to pick her up, he wrapped her shoulder and never let her look at Anriq. The day Iveca was attacked, he left her palace so quickly because he did not want her and Anriq sharing the same space.

Ever since he discovered the two of them alone, Anriq thought that he would never be able to face her directly again.

“Even If you don’t listen to me, you can listen to your own thoughts.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You are always in that conference room, too. During the battle for the throne, daughters of all kinds of noble families were enchanted by his sculptural faces and kindness… I did not expect Iveca to fall for it, truthfully speaking.  As long as the Queen has the name of Esselburn, I must stop her. If you’ve considered Iveca a friend at all, you should stop her too, because you saw the atmosphere of the conference hall.”

Anriq lowered his eyes. Daniel would have no justification to blame him if he went with Ewil, not on his own. He was on vacation, and of course his destination was his freedom to choose.

“Okay, let’s go together.”




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