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Published at 30th of June 2022 08:32:54 AM


Chapter 187

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We decide, rather sagely, that bringing a murderer back to our home so that we can free her from her shackles would be a fairly terrible idea. Yet, free her we still do, just in a room of the ruins well above the cavern we call home and astray from our particular corner of the ruins.

Nel has sent Red and a team of warriors our way alongside an unmodified support device, to replace the one that we’re breaking, and one of the explosive collars that we hid away in some storage cellar when we thought it would be worthless. It won’t appear within a person’s mana sight until it’s activated, and by then it won’t really matter.

Like with the support devices and collars, it uses its host as a source of mana to fuel its complex enchantments. Sedena is loath to be knocked unconscious, but she does eventually concede after I threaten to pull the collar out without anything to deal with the pain. The procedure goes about as well as can be expected.

We free Sedena to go wandering back up to the surface where she’ll be continuing her duties while I observe to make sure that our little pet murderer isn’t doing anything too disagreeable. I mean, I’m not exactly sure what to do if she does cause issues, since it’s not like we can actually kill her without some serious repercussions.

“So are you going to convert her to our cause too?” Red asks, “I wouldn’t bed her, but hey, I won’t judge.”

“No.” I say firmly. “I don’t think I’ll be changing my mind about her.”

“I did worse than she has.” Red reminds me with a shrug. “I’ve dealt with people like her before, and so long as you feed them a steady supply of enemies they can torment, they’ll be fairly obedient. Not always, sometimes they’ll rebel, or murder those they shouldn’t. Make sure to keep her on a tight leash, and punish her properly if she misbehaves, but otherwise she’s not so bad a minion to have around.”

“She was meant to be an enemy…” I groan watching her carefully through her own eyes.

“Well, now she’s an ally.”

“Can we really call her an ally?” I ask, heading back towards our city as I begrudgingly try to come up with a plan for the future. I need some sort of enemy, or task that can take my attention away from everything else.

“She’s absolutely an ally.” Red says with a laugh. “She’s unreliable, looking sweetly at your back for any sign of weakness she can abuse, all while working with you towards a common goal. She’s not an enemy, but she’s certainly not like your little friends, and she’s not at all like me.”

“Oh? What are you then, if not a friend?” I ask. “You’ve had plenty of chances to stab me in the back, but haven’t.”

“Hmm?” Red takes a moment to think as she looks around. “Something between friend and ally. An advisor, maybe? I’m looking to develop you into a commander that’s worth following.”

“While I was meant to show you how much better the world can be where we’re not all fighting each other. I’ve done a rather poor job at that.”

“Ah, don’t get down on yourself. You’ve only just gotten to the point where you can actually be considered a leader, keep working on it and one day you might show me the error of my ways.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” I ask on the way back, a few faint ghosts floating through the shadows. Those who I’ve failed to save, those who I’ve killed myself. A small gremlin child, struggling to scream and failing. “Everything we’ve done. The violence, the killing…”

“You get used to it.” Red replies, treating my words with a strange seriousness. “It’ll change you, just try to make sure you change into someone worth following or I might just have to kill you.”

“Sure.” I reply, rubbing at my eyes. “That’s why I brought Adler along.”

“Is that seriously the only reason you pulled me into this strange relationship?” Adler asks, with a difficult chuckle. “Well, I’d best see the job done well. I’d hate to explain to people that I was in a loving relationship with a soulless monster.”

Vii chirps with some difficult laughter of her own as she joins us.

“And what about you, Red. Have you revaluated our relationship now that I’ve proven my strength?” I ask, “That’s your thing, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I be irresistible?”

“Yeah… you’re a bit too clingy for me.” Red says, shaking her head. “Seeing how you girls cling to each other just makes my skin crawl. I’ll pass for now.”

“For now?” I ask.

“Who knows, when you grow up a little maybe you can actually make a decent lover. Until then, I’ll stay as your council thanks.” She replies with a shake of her head as she waves her hands around.

“Besides, there are other things you should be focusing on at the moment rather than flirting. I’m mostly just a fighter myself, but I expect you to do something about the politics and management of this little kingdom, so go get to it, little empress.”

“Ugh, fine.” I groan, pushing forwards towards the city and the work that I’ll have to make for myself when I get there. There’s plenty that I need to do, but none of it soothes the anxiety burning away in my guts, which demands that I hunt down the enemies hiding everywhere around me.

I don’t think I’ll ever properly feel safe again.

Maybe… I just need to get used to this feeling?

At the very least, I’d rather not become one of those paranoid dictators that’s always hunting for spies and enemies among his own people.

I need to be better than that.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“What do you want to talk about?” Eshya asks as she settles down on the couch. We’ve already used a cleansing stone to clean off the sweat we’ve built up from all our running around, and we have some time before our next class in the evening.

“We need a new goal,” I say. “No, I need a new goal. Something to replace the war. My life needs some tension, you know. Without it, I’m losing my focus, and it’s eating at me.”

“Shouldn’t we be embracing this calm, this peace?” Nel asks, a slight tremble in her voice. “I… we’ve barely had a chance to rest and go on actual dates, and you want to run off to find some new distraction? Is this… is this all life is going to be for us?” She represses the tremors running through her hands as she stares at me, a terrified expression shocking me to my core.

“I… I don’t know.” I say, the pain in her voice shocking me back to myself. “I just… I feel like I can’t stand still right now. I need something to do to take my mind off of things.”

“Things?” Vii asks, sitting up as she looks between us.

“Everything.” I say. “I keep looking for the next enemy, like Loekan. Someone who’ll threaten everything we have. They’re out there, enemies that we’re yet to find, people who’ll try their hardest to see us dead. We need to be ready.

“I… also keep thinking back to that goat-girl we met back on that planet Red stranded us on. Her and the others who ended up on the dinner table because they were too weak, and the world too cruel. I think of Vii and Eshya dying because I’m too weak. My own arms falling apart because of my magic, the scars covering everything…”

I swallow down the words spilling out of me.

“I need something to distract from all that.” I say, still feeling the shadows bearing down on me as I watch every corner of my city. There’s something out there that’ll kill me, a shadow hunting me down. It’ll take my lovers away from me, my people and my home, too.

Unseen enemies are growing stronger, while I sit here struggling to focus.

“Kyra.” Eshya says, flopping down onto the couch beside me and roughly pulling me over onto her lap. “Everything is fine, okay.”

“It’s not.” I say. “I’m still too weak. I can’t do anything about the welfare officers. I can’t do anything about Arduelle or other dungeons like her. Hell, I’m not entirely sure that I’m smart enough to out-manoeuvre Sedena, or Leon, or Khet. I’m not nearly good enough, not strong enough, either.”

“Kyra.” Eshya says, brushing at my hair as she stares down. “You aren’t alone. We’ll face all of it together, whatever the future brings. I’m your soldier, growing stronger isn’t something to stress about, I’ll deal with our enemies.”

“I’m dealing with Khet.” Nel says, settling into her chair and sipping a cup of tea. Her earlier emotions faded as if she’d never had an outburst at all. “We’re doing well, right now, we’re safe. You can relax.”

“I can’t. I should be able to, but I can’t.” I say, shivering as Eshya leans down to press a kiss on my head.

“I get it.” Vii says, kneeling on the ground beside us and pressing her forehead on my side. “I’m scared. I’m scared all the time. Worried that I’ve messed up, that everything is going to go wrong, and that it’s all my fault. Talking with you helped some, so I’ll try to say something, too. What I took from your words.

“Focus on the future that you want to build, and work to make it real. Don’t obsess about all the things that you can’t do, when your mind is whirling all about with bad thoughts, force yourself to think of all the good things instead. Like this home we’re living in, and what we’re going to build.”

“Like our children.” Nel says. “Think about them, and all the happy times to come.”

“All the good fights to come.” Eshya says smiling broadly, “All the glorious victories, and the incredible things that we’ll achieve together.”

“Thank you.” I say, taking a deep breath and imagining such a future. A warm home, not unlike the place we’re now resting, with a happy family, like the one now surrounding me with soothing words. I imagine a place that is safe, where no one is coming to kill me, and where the wild monsters are kept away by strong walls.

I’ve already made it, haven’t I?

I need to make sure that it stays safe, but I don’t need to be wound up right now. I don’t need to be paranoid, watching every shadow. Right now, things are good, and I don’t need to be so worried about what’s to come.

The realisation sends a chill through my skin, as my mind spins up twisted memories that I’d rather forget. The countless people that’ve died before my very eyes. The people that Red slaughtered after our ship went down. Slaughter after slaughter on that war-torn world. The insects that I heartlessly slaughtered, and the gremlins after. Even a kid that I… he was going to scream. It was…

Eshya wraps me up tight in her arms, pulling my face into her chest. I close my eyes and forget for a moment all the worlds worries, my emotions leaking out as my walls slowly crumble at the realisation that we’re finally at peace.

Vii grabs my shirt and starts weeping herself as she loses control of her breathing.

“I’ll never see my family again.” Vii whispers, clutching at me as she forces her eyes closed. “I ruined everything.”

“You have us.” Nel says, putting her tea cup down and holding her gently from behind.

Eshya says something that I can’t quite make out, and she and Nel chuckle quietly as Vii and I cling tightly to each other. Adler a little awkwardly joins us, her own emotions still held tightly within as she watches over us.

Vii lifts her head, her tears still running down her cheeks. I don’t know exactly for what reason she cries, but I know the fear, the desperate terrible horror at our shared experiences. The guilt I feel for all the pain that I’ve caused. I kiss the salty trails of tears away and hold her tight.

Eshya chuckles, but there’s a warm sympathetic tone to it. A pleasant warmth that cuts through the pains spreading out from my chest. Everything that I’ve buried away to deal with at a later time, suddenly burns through me all at once.

Eventually, as I run out of tears to shed, borrowed warmth spreads within to take the place of all the desperate emotions that I’ve buried inside me.

I feel love, and I feel loved.

Eshya, and her playful smirk.

Nel and her calm, cool, collected expression.

Vii, still a bit weepy in my arms.

Adler, and her nervous tail flicking.

They’ve all chosen to be with me. These beautiful souls see something in me and love me like I love them.

Letting every desperate thought float away on unseen currents, I embrace the chaotic emotions burning through my body, mind, and soul.

I kiss and I am kissed.

Slow and gentle, we embrace, we talk, and I fall ever deeper in love, feeling their love for me bursting through every touch, and every smile.

The desperation that guided us towards one another up until now has faded away to the background as warmer emotions take hold.

We’ve exchanged lust and we’ve reached for one another with desperation but for the first time, I feel like we’ve made love.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

“So, about that future that you wanted to plan…” Nel says, sitting slightly apart from us as she cleans herself of sweat. “I want them to have a proper education and school experience. Like what the academy can be without the welfare officers and forced curriculum.”

“You want to build a school?” I ask, “That’s… yeah, with all the kids about to fill this city I think we need to get ready for them.”

“Not just a school, an academy like on the surface. A place where they can have all the chances that we’ve missed out on, and more. I want them to be able to choose whatever future they want, I want to let them choose whatever future they’d like.”

“We’ll need to get some teachers together.” I say. “And a headmaster to get everything running smoothly. Experts in every field, and we’ll need to figure out how we can use our new Chips to their best advantage so that we can pass that on to the students.”

“The students, our children. Yes.” Nel says smiling happily, as she looks down at Adler, Eshya, Vii, and I, where we lie atop a pile of messed bedding. “We need to ensure that our family has the best opportunities to succeed.

“We have a future to plan for, so before then, we need to eliminate any potential enemies, develop a functional business relationship with merchants like Khet, and wild cards like Leon.”

“Okay, so…” I say, thinking slowly.

“There’s three civilisations in relative proximity to us inside the dungeon, then two larger factions deeper down that will no doubt cause us issues if we ignore them. Then we have a few student associations exploring the ruins above, some more violent than others, some are outright bandits. On top of that we need to fully develop our relationship with the rebels that are based here, their ability to get us out of here is very important.

“They’re the primary political issues that you need to deal with.” Nel says, nodding slowly. “I’ll take care of finding competent managers and teachers, but I’d like to have a council with all of us, as well as Red, Lakesh, Fodder, Khet and Beetle, to decide on who we hire for each position. Then you’ll have to observe them to make sure they’re doing their work properly.”

“We need to keep training ourselves as well.” I say. “My mana form is still a bit of a mess, I’ve tried to fix it, but it’s still… there’s still a way to go.” I’ve pushed my strength so hard that I’ve neglected everything else.

“All while dealing with whatever issues come up with our farmers, settlers, and builders.” She affirms, “Adler is still working on developing a justice system, as well, and I’m sure she want’s your assistance so long as you can settle yourself down and discuss issues with her properly.”

“That’s… a lot.” I groan, rubbing at my head.

“You were asking for something to keep your mind off of things. This way you’ll have no choice but to focus on your tasks.” Nel says smiling. “I’ll work it into a schedule for you.”

“Thanks.” I say, leaning back into the bed.

“You have class in half an hour.” Nel says, smiling sadistically as I groan.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

Skills & Stats

 

~Mana Form:

Current mana density: 19260 units

~Mana distribution:

Defence: 20/100%

Offense: 20/100%

Mana sense: 20/100%

Recovery: 20/100%

Gluttony: 10/100%

Misc.: 10/100%

Efficiency: 100/100%

 

~Favourited Skills:

-Tag and Film

-Trapping

-Stealth

-Mana surge movement

-Annihilation defence

-Annihilation flame burst

-Annihilation net

-Eyes of an Empire

 

Adaptions:

-Quick perception mind

-Annihilation Heart

-Clean bowels

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

//Author Note

More chapters available

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