After quietly venting my ire, I removed my palm and took a deep breath.
Fine. A fae invasion. Into the kingdom. Fine. I can … I can fix that. Just like I fix everything else. What was an invasion by the magical denizens of the Fae Realm but another box on my checklist?
“Very well,” I said, forcing away the premonition of my headaches come. “The fae. I will … yes, I will certainly handle that. You may smell like a dead horse, but that was useful information. I'll acknowledge that.”
The toad knight recoiled, his face scrawled in horror as he lifted the sleeves of his tunic to examine. Lady Renise stiffened beside me with equal amounts of dismay.
“The fae are invading Tirea?” she gasped, eyes widened.
“Hey, Juliette, did you hear that?” said Coppelia, poking me in the shoulder with far too much enthusiasm. “The fae are invading. Those scary winged magical warriors who swarm over and destroy anything that looks at them funny. They're invading your little kingdom.”
I wished for a warm bath to lie in and forget the world outside.
Just one night. Surely, that wasn't too much to ask?
“Yes, yes, thank you. I heard. As I said, I'll handle it. As long as nobody touches anything, says anything, does anything or actively tries to help, I can fix it.”
Lady Renise shook her head imploringly.
“But if the knights are all heading north, then surely, a confrontation is inevitable? If the fae have already seized the Wovencoille ...”
I halted her with a time out gesture. It was something I've never done before. But I needed it now.
“Stop. Stop right there. One problem at a time. Let me deal with ...” I pointed at the Rimeaux Estate. “This. All of this first.”
Lady Renise gave me a look of pity, then turned her attention on the toad knight.
“Y-Yes, of course. Thank you for endeavouring to help me. I see the goodness in your heart … unlike you, Sir Albert.”
The toad knight lowered his sleeves, his scoffing expression returning as he erroneously judged nothing to be wrong with his state of decaying smell.
“A weak jibe, Lady Renise. As you insist I should be more courteous, I'll invite you to try again.”
“I'm not here to trade insults. I'm here to oust the woman in my hall, as you know fully. You've not raised the alarm. You're willing to negotiate.”
“I'm willing to stave off boredom. I was never one for the midnight watch.”
“Mmh, he looks like he spent his midnights snacking,” said Coppelia.
“Coppelia, not the time,” I replied.
“It's true, though.”
“Yes, it is. But it's still not the time.”
The toad knight bit his lips and said nothing. He stood up straighter and held his chin up a little higher, as though in an attempt to act more knightly.
Neither did anything for his stomach line.
“Name what she has offered you,” said Lady Renise, magnanimously ignoring Coppelia's comments. “I will improve it. Your word will be powerful when she is brought before the court.”
“And I suppose you'll forget my small part in planning the evening's affairs?”
Lady Renise said nothing, betraying her intentions.
“I cannot be bought,” said the failed knight, smirking. “I serve Lady Lucina Tolent as a free knight. I ask for no reward other than the honour of her patronage.”
Lady Renise gave a hacking cough. I nodded at the immaculate timing.
“... Yes, I'm sure you do. And what generous boons does her patronage involve?”
“Only that I'm awarded my just due and no less. All the awards of gallantry and meritorious service that failed to be properly delivered to me by the various nobility of the realm, and an invitation to join the landed gentry with a personal holding comparable to a baron's manor, including ample arable land fit for a vineyard.”
I rolled my eyes.
This man wanted medals and a house. The absolute cheapness of honour. Any wines to grow there would be so bitter that they'd only be used to water gutters.
“Very well. A worthy and due gift for your years of service. I will offer you better. Aid me in bringing down Lucina Tolent and I will not only forgive you for your betrayal of my family, but I will also make you the grandmaster of your own knightly order.”
All of a sudden, the scoffing expression ceased to be on the toad knight's face.
I let out a small smile.
My, what a prize that was.
Only a lord's household could create a knightly order. It was a prize dangled and teased like an unmarried heir. In many cases, it was worth more. An order could only be created once in the history of the branch. To be a founding grandmaster of a knightly order was the highest accolade a retainer could be offered.
Which is why Lady Renise was lying, of course.
Even so, she forced herself to smile, one I saw so often in the irrelevant boundaries of court. Oh, how much it must pain her to even voice such an insulting lie before the gates where her ancestors once stood.
“Lord Damien would never have made such an offer,” said the toad knight.
“I'm not my father. I'm far more pragmatic. Lady Lucina is ultimately responsible for tonight's events. She is who I want. Not you.”
The toad knight's smile was laced with greed.
“True, my word would have Lady Lucina's plans crumbling down. It is no exaggeration to say that I'm invaluable should you wish to wake Damien and Sabilla. But would you truly pay such a high sum?”
“I would. You were not sworn to my father or mother. Neither are you sworn to Lady Lucina if, as you say, you are a free knight. You owe no allegiance other than to those who pay you. I understand full well the hardships a knight must endure to earn his lot in life.”
“Indeed?”
Lady Renise nodded.
“Know that I hold no disrespect for your choices. You do what you must to survive in a world with precious little charity. What I offer is not that, but what you are deserved. Should you wish it, the awards, accolades, manor, vineyard and your role as grandmaster of a knightly order is yours.”
I let out an invisible sigh.
Ah, I could almost pretend she was close. Arrogance and pride may have won her a victory there on a good day. But offer a snake too much and they will no longer see it as food, but bait.
The toad knight smiled once more. This time, the mocking veneer had returned.
“A fine outlook. And a tempting offer. And yet I have already thrown in my lot. I have taken Lady Lucina's crowns and accepted her promises. It would be poor form to turn aside now. I must politely refuse.”
“Then politely refuse this. If you do not open this gate and step aside, then this adventurer beside me will blow it down upon you.”
Lady Renise pointed at me.
I was appalled.
The presumptuousness of being able to point at me like some hired goon! If it wasn't for the fact that blowing down a gate atop this sorry excuse of a knight was a highly attractive prospect to me, I would walk away and deal with the litany of other issues I had instead!
Plus, there was a problem with blowing down the gate.
“Do you have a mailbox?” I asked.
“Excuse me?” she replied, blinking.
“I need a mailbox to blow down this gate.”
“Huh? I don't … really? A mailbox?”
“If not, do you have any death beetles?”
“No … No, I do not have any death beetles ...”
The toad knight laughed. His chin wobbled as well as his stomach.
“I've heard that you defeated Grim, and yet I fail to see anything that would give either him or myself pause for concern. Did you truly defeat him, or did you find a means to cheat victory?”
Coppelia stomped her foot.
“Hey! Poison smoothies is a perfectly legitimate way to defeat an opponent!”
“Is that so? … Then, it's as I suspected. In which case—”
The failed knight clicked his fingers.
Immediately, shadows appeared from behind him. And then from behind us. Men and women in the guise of black robed assassins. I heard the sound of daggers being drawn. Arrows being notched.
We were already surrounded.
“I will be opening the gates. And you shall be coming with us. I assure you that Lady Lucina Tolent will be a welcoming and hospitable host. I hope this will not be a problem.”
The failed knight smirked. His teeth appeared stained from whatever his last meal was.
Either side of me, Lady Renise had stiffened to a statue, while Coppelia was probably thinking about what she was going to eat for breakfast tomorrow.
Then, seeing all the shadows closing in on us, I broke out into a wide smile.
“Ohohohohoho.”
To both Lady Renise's incomprehension and the failed knight's shock, I merely laughed, then waited as the knaves surrounded us. The gates opened, and more figures crept out from the shadows.
All the while, the toad knight wore an expression as he watched my laughter which plainly told he did not know if he'd made a mistake or not.
Come now, did he truly think to frighten me with an invitation into the abode of nobility?
I feared mud more than a mere lady. Perhaps to peasants they were deities atop heavenly steeds, but to me, they were gnats feeding off scraps. And I was taught from an early age never to flee from them. But to swat.
And these good rogues were offering to escort us straight to the woman I desired to meet with the back of my glove. That wasn't a problem.
Why, that was merely convenience.
kayenano
Thank you everyone for reading Juliette's story! It's now trending on Scribblehub!
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After quietly venting my ire, I removed my palm and took a deep breath.
Fine. A fae invasion. Into the kingdom. Fine. I can … I can fix that. Just like I fix everything else. What was an invasion by the magical denizens of the Fae Realm but another box on my checklist?
“Very well,” I said, forcing away the premonition of my headaches come. “The fae. I will … yes, I will certainly handle that. You may smell like a dead horse, but that was useful information. I'll acknowledge that.”
The toad knight recoiled, his face scrawled in horror as he lifted the sleeves of his tunic to examine. Lady Renise stiffened beside me with equal amounts of dismay.
“The fae are invading Tirea?” she gasped, eyes widened.
“Hey, Juliette, did you hear that?” said Coppelia, poking me in the shoulder with far too much enthusiasm. “The fae are invading. Those scary winged magical warriors who swarm over and destroy anything that looks at them funny. They're invading your little kingdom.”
I wished for a warm bath to lie in and forget the world outside.
Just one night. Surely, that wasn't too much to ask?
“Yes, yes, thank you. I heard. As I said, I'll handle it. As long as nobody touches anything, says anything, does anything or actively tries to help, I can fix it.”
Lady Renise shook her head imploringly.
“But if the knights are all heading north, then surely, a confrontation is inevitable? If the fae have already seized the Wovencoille ...”
I halted her with a time out gesture. It was something I've never done before. But I needed it now.
“Stop. Stop right there. One problem at a time. Let me deal with ...” I pointed at the Rimeaux Estate. “This. All of this first.”
Lady Renise gave me a look of pity, then turned her attention on the toad knight.
“Y-Yes, of course. Thank you for endeavouring to help me. I see the goodness in your heart … unlike you, Sir Albert.”
The toad knight lowered his sleeves, his scoffing expression returning as he erroneously judged nothing to be wrong with his state of decaying smell.
“A weak jibe, Lady Renise. As you insist I should be more courteous, I'll invite you to try again.”
“I'm not here to trade insults. I'm here to oust the woman in my hall, as you know fully. You've not raised the alarm. You're willing to negotiate.”
“I'm willing to stave off boredom. I was never one for the midnight watch.”
“Mmh, he looks like he spent his midnights snacking,” said Coppelia.
“Coppelia, not the time,” I replied.
“It's true, though.”
“Yes, it is. But it's still not the time.”
The toad knight bit his lips and said nothing. He stood up straighter and held his chin up a little higher, as though in an attempt to act more knightly.
Neither did anything for his stomach line.
“Name what she has offered you,” said Lady Renise, magnanimously ignoring Coppelia's comments. “I will improve it. Your word will be powerful when she is brought before the court.”
“And I suppose you'll forget my small part in planning the evening's affairs?”
Lady Renise said nothing, betraying her intentions.
“I cannot be bought,” said the failed knight, smirking. “I serve Lady Lucina Tolent as a free knight. I ask for no reward other than the honour of her patronage.”
Lady Renise gave a hacking cough. I nodded at the immaculate timing.
“... Yes, I'm sure you do. And what generous boons does her patronage involve?”
“Only that I'm awarded my just due and no less. All the awards of gallantry and meritorious service that failed to be properly delivered to me by the various nobility of the realm, and an invitation to join the landed gentry with a personal holding comparable to a baron's manor, including ample arable land fit for a vineyard.”
I rolled my eyes.
This man wanted medals and a house. The absolute cheapness of honour. Any wines to grow there would be so bitter that they'd only be used to water gutters.
“Very well. A worthy and due gift for your years of service. I will offer you better. Aid me in bringing down Lucina Tolent and I will not only forgive you for your betrayal of my family, but I will also make you the grandmaster of your own knightly order.”
All of a sudden, the scoffing expression ceased to be on the toad knight's face.
I let out a small smile.
My, what a prize that was.
Only a lord's household could create a knightly order. It was a prize dangled and teased like an unmarried heir. In many cases, it was worth more. An order could only be created once in the history of the branch. To be a founding grandmaster of a knightly order was the highest accolade a retainer could be offered.
Which is why Lady Renise was lying, of course.
Even so, she forced herself to smile, one I saw so often in the irrelevant boundaries of court. Oh, how much it must pain her to even voice such an insulting lie before the gates where her ancestors once stood.
“Lord Damien would never have made such an offer,” said the toad knight.
“I'm not my father. I'm far more pragmatic. Lady Lucina is ultimately responsible for tonight's events. She is who I want. Not you.”
The toad knight's smile was laced with greed.
“True, my word would have Lady Lucina's plans crumbling down. It is no exaggeration to say that I'm invaluable should you wish to wake Damien and Sabilla. But would you truly pay such a high sum?”
“I would. You were not sworn to my father or mother. Neither are you sworn to Lady Lucina if, as you say, you are a free knight. You owe no allegiance other than to those who pay you. I understand full well the hardships a knight must endure to earn his lot in life.”
“Indeed?”
Lady Renise nodded.
“Know that I hold no disrespect for your choices. You do what you must to survive in a world with precious little charity. What I offer is not that, but what you are deserved. Should you wish it, the awards, accolades, manor, vineyard and your role as grandmaster of a knightly order is yours.”
I let out an invisible sigh.
Ah, I could almost pretend she was close. Arrogance and pride may have won her a victory there on a good day. But offer a snake too much and they will no longer see it as food, but bait.
The toad knight smiled once more. This time, the mocking veneer had returned.
“A fine outlook. And a tempting offer. And yet I have already thrown in my lot. I have taken Lady Lucina's crowns and accepted her promises. It would be poor form to turn aside now. I must politely refuse.”
“Then politely refuse this. If you do not open this gate and step aside, then this adventurer beside me will blow it down upon you.”
Lady Renise pointed at me.
I was appalled.
The presumptuousness of being able to point at me like some hired goon! If it wasn't for the fact that blowing down a gate atop this sorry excuse of a knight was a highly attractive prospect to me, I would walk away and deal with the litany of other issues I had instead!
Plus, there was a problem with blowing down the gate.
“Do you have a mailbox?” I asked.
“Excuse me?” she replied, blinking.
“I need a mailbox to blow down this gate.”
“Huh? I don't … really? A mailbox?”
“If not, do you have any death beetles?”
“No … No, I do not have any death beetles ...”
The toad knight laughed. His chin wobbled as well as his stomach.
“I've heard that you defeated Grim, and yet I fail to see anything that would give either him or myself pause for concern. Did you truly defeat him, or did you find a means to cheat victory?”
Coppelia stomped her foot.
“Hey! Poison smoothies is a perfectly legitimate way to defeat an opponent!”
“Is that so? … Then, it's as I suspected. In which case—”
The failed knight clicked his fingers.
Immediately, shadows appeared from behind him. And then from behind us. Men and women in the guise of black robed assassins. I heard the sound of daggers being drawn. Arrows being notched.
We were already surrounded.
“I will be opening the gates. And you shall be coming with us. I assure you that Lady Lucina Tolent will be a welcoming and hospitable host. I hope this will not be a problem.”
The failed knight smirked. His teeth appeared stained from whatever his last meal was.
Either side of me, Lady Renise had stiffened to a statue, while Coppelia was probably thinking about what she was going to eat for breakfast tomorrow.
Then, seeing all the shadows closing in on us, I broke out into a wide smile.
“Ohohohohoho.”
To both Lady Renise's incomprehension and the failed knight's shock, I merely laughed, then waited as the knaves surrounded us. The gates opened, and more figures crept out from the shadows.
All the while, the toad knight wore an expression as he watched my laughter which plainly told he did not know if he'd made a mistake or not.
Come now, did he truly think to frighten me with an invitation into the abode of nobility?
I feared mud more than a mere lady. Perhaps to peasants they were deities atop heavenly steeds, but to me, they were gnats feeding off scraps. And I was taught from an early age never to flee from them. But to swat.
And these good rogues were offering to escort us straight to the woman I desired to meet with the back of my glove. That wasn't a problem.
Why, that was merely convenience.
kayenano
Thank you everyone for reading Juliette's story! It's now trending on Scribblehub!
If you'd like to support the continuation of the story, you can visit my Patreon to read 20 chapters ahead:
https://www.patreon.com/kayenano
You can also visit the Discord to join the community!
https://discord.gg/VJt46JS5Fy
