Ignoring the ceaseless laughter of my future handmaiden, I set my eyes on matters ahead.
Whatever the fae intended, they would not wait—and neither would I.
But no matter the sharpness of their blades, the keenness of their minds or the might of their magic, I would meet them with the full dignity and splendour of a princess of Tirea.
And that meant having a noble steed.
Indeed, no confrontation with the fabled denizens of the Seasonal Courts would be acceptable without a steadfast horse to carry me into either conflict or negotiation.
I would need the briskest and most nimble of coursers to bear me on the journey north and to represent my royal lineage. A proud steed whose ancestors had carried not only princesses, but empresses also.
… Or, I could meet them with a draft horse with a very hairy mane, formally owned by a barkeeper, and who only trotted as if pulling a heavy cart at all times.
Ohohoho! Yet again, my skill at diplomacy shows itself!
Why should I afford the fae any amount of respect? If they chose to gather at our borders, then I would meet them with the disdain they deserve!
A trotting horse who occasionally detoured to nibble at daisies was precisely the sort of message I wished to convey to our foes! In doing so, I would expertly state my opinion that even the First Children were not worthy of my immediate consideration.
This was the Kingdom of Tirea, and any trespasser which stepped upon it became lower than the dirt they transgressed on.
Thus, I nodded and waited, all the while Apple snorted as the stablemaster led him towards me.
Frankly, I wasn't certain who looked gloomier.
The horse who was now leaving this buffet paradise of fluffy hay, or the stablemaster who was now about to lose his only client.
“Your draft horse,” said the stablemaster, his eyes studiously going over Apple's bridle, despite the clear fatigue which sat upon his expression. “I'll miss him, even with his endless stomach. He ate through everything I had to feed him, and then everything I didn't feed him, also.”
I smiled proudly, placing my hand to my chest.
“Apple bears the weight of the kingdom upon his back. His hunger is proof of his burden. Naturally, he'd be peckish.”
“He chewed through a stable door, ma'am.”
“Apple!” I turned to the horse, frown in hand. “We've discussed this before! You do not chew through pine! Why, you can already see the cracks where the rain has seeped through the subpar quality wood! There are better stables made from ancient oak or black cedar you can eat!”
The stablemaster looked at me with a raised brow. He opted not to say anything.
How could he? I was not only officially his most valuable customer, but I was also speaking the truth. This man was an acceptable stablemaster. But the stables themselves left much to be desired.
Indeed, it was a tragic mirror of the kingdom's finances.
Around me was a reminder of my grim task ahead.
Where there should be the sight of dozens of mares and destriers, there was instead a lonely paddock and a line of stalls all empty of grazing horses. It was pitiful. Gone was the rows of the kingdom's hardy steeds, destined to carry my luggage whenever I toured with the royal procession.
Now the noble neighing was replaced by Apple's snorts, and also the consternation of the stablemaster.
“It was a pleasure,” he said, handing me the reins. “Thank you for your patronage. You may return should pine prove sufficient in the future.”
Behind me, Coppelia made herself known via the sound of her blowing on a dandelion. The seeds spread far and wide, disappearing into the spring sky. She smiled, picked up another dandelion, then stuffed it in her mouth.
“We'll definitely return,” she said, her answer almost lost amongst the chewing. “I give this meadow a 5/5. You have bluebells, blackberries, primroses and dandelions. And none of them are mushy.”
The stablemaster looked at Coppelia with clear concern. Not for her well-being, but for his own eyes. He blinked until he knew what he was seeing was real.
Even then, he hesitated.
“This isn't a meadow, ma'am. It's a paddock for the horses.”
“Well, there aren't any horses now, and if it stays this way, then I'm in favour of coming back in the summer to see what the hibiscuses are like.”
Sadly, it appeared my future handmaiden had more than a few points to learn regarding tact.
“Coppelia, there's no need to draw attention to the decrepit state of this stablemaster's finances,” I said, before turning to the man in question. “My apologies for my attendant's forthrightness. But fear not, no matter how poorly your business currently suffers, I will soon make amends of the situation.”
The stablemaster shrugged.
“Actually, business has never been better.”
I held my hand over my mouth.
To … To think that the tradespeople of this kingdom were in such dire straits that they permitted delusions to inhibit reality. I had to hurry!
“... If you must know, my business isn't only stabling other people's horses. It's stabling my own. And all my horses have been bought or loaned.”
“Oh.” I tossed all visage of concern away and checked Apple's saddle. “To the knights? I've heard they're headed north en-masse.”
“I wouldn't claim to know where the knights are going. Most of my horses have gone to those riding for Aquina.”
I paused, my eyes sweeping back to the stablemaster.
The Duchy of Aquina was on my itinerary, make no mistake. As a province in open revolt, it would not be spared the full length and width of my boot of authority. But that I was hearing its name now while I was already bound for the Wovencoille did nothing but fill me with grief.
“... Aquina? Why?”
“To get themselves and their pride beaten up as swiftly as they can, most likely. That duke over there just announced a new tournament.”
I looked at the stablemaster in bewilderment—and then overwhelming ire.
“A tournament?!”
“Aye, a tournament. A fighting bout to rival the Grand Midsummer Tournament, so far as prize is concerned. 10,000 gold crowns for the winner. Enough to replace all the pine with ancient oak or black cedar.”
I could scarcely believe it.
A tournament? Duke Valence was hosting a tournament?
Granted, there could be no other reason why fools would be riding to Aquina. It certainly wasn't for its cosmopolitan cities, for which it had none. But a tournament? Aquina was known only for its cottages and rivers. It was not a location for hosting tournaments!
Among the endless list of issues plaguing this kingdom, hearing Duke Valence clearly preparing some dimwitted scheme was not one that filled me with joy.
“What is the meaning of this?” I said to anyone at all. “Why would Duke Valence be hosting a tournament? Is Aquina not a constant bed of civil unrest? How is that even remotely appropriate?”
The stablemaster shrugged.
“That's nothing to do with the boys and girls looking for 10,000 gold crowns. All the keenest rode out on whichever mule I could spare. If luck is with them, those young hopefuls will come back missing just their pride.”
A rush of condemnation fought to be the first to be sounded in my mind.
A tournament! Reitzlake boasted its own during the Midsummer Festival. A marvellous spectacle of duelling prowess revered by all the budding hoodlums of the kingdom. A time where the brave, the bold and the bored could gather together to wage their bets and swing their swords in bloody barbarism.
Oh, how the peasants adored these events of vulgarity. A time when they could publicly holler as though in a bar and cheer as they're freed from their life of poverty while seated upon the steps of the grand arena.
It was a monumental waste of time.
Why, when they were enjoying camaraderie in the warmth of a crowd, they were not sweating while toiling the fields!
And now, such an event was being hosted by the Duchy of Aquina?
A province which had long skirted its tax commitments?
The absolute lack of shame! The gall!
How dare they seek to enamour themselves with the people! If they were going to revolt, then they had no right to host a tournament as though they still held any seat of respect! That Duke Valence would have the cheek to put on a tournament while actively hostile to the kingdom that shields it is outrageous!
I took in a deep breath, then focused on batting away Apple as he tried to lick me.
No, Duke Valence's turn would come. Him and whatever mischief he had planned.
I had more troubling matters to attend to.
Our lumber industry was a matter of vital importance to our trade and national infrastructure, and the fae were nothing if not an existential threat. What was this duke's scheme, but another box on my check list?
“... Thank you for seeing to Apple's needs,” I said, joined by Coppelia nodding in gratitude with dandelions in her mouth. “I suggest you repair the stable doors. And not only the one Apple was chewing through. There are hints that wood boring insects reside in your stables. I suggest copious amounts of fire. Farewell.”
With a curt nod, I acknowledged the stablemaster for his efforts, then left riding atop Apple with Coppelia walking by my side.
My noble steed and loyal retainer secured, it was time to bid farewell to Reitzlake, now free of the scourge of organised crime!
As expected, I'd done an exemplary job!
Premonitions of future headaches aside, I could depart the royal capital with a smile, satisfied in the full knowledge that I was leaving it in a calmer state than when I arrived.
Truly, Reitzlake had never been more peaceful.
“Hey, hey, Juliette?”
“What is it?”
“Did you just hear someone scream?”
I stopped, just shy of the entrance to a tavern. I listened out.
“I only hear the sounds of louts inventing new ways to be a nuisance. Where is the scream coming from?”
Coppelia tilted her head slightly, ear to nowhere in particular.
After a few moments, she shrugged.
“Eh. If it's important, they'll scream again.”
“Then let's go. I have an invasion to stop and at least two more afterwards for all I know. We cannot linger. Certainly not for petty cries of help.”
“Do we have time to pick up some crêpes?”
I was aghast.
Our quest was as noble as it was urgent! To delay was to risk failure. Of course we didn't time to stop for delicious, warm, freshly baked, capital-style crêpes filled with ice cream and … and … and—
“I need to ensure Apple is properly bridled and saddled for the challenges ahead. You get the crêpes in the meantime.”
“Yay~ chocolate crêpes! And violence! Let's go, go!”
I nodded, ignoring Coppelia's fist pump as she wrongly suggested there would be any violence involved.
Yes, some furniture had been overturned. But I could hardly be blamed for that. And anyone who could were now imprisoned.
I was a princess of discretion and subtlety. And while I wouldn't hesitate to enforce Tirea's sovereignty on the fae, I would naturally seek to use diplomacy as my first port of call.
I had no idea why the denizens of the Fae Realm would be congregating in our northern forests, but if there existed a justifiable reason for it, then there also existed a justifiable reason for them to immediately vacate themselves.
And if not, well.
There was also the boot of authority. And it did not matter how high the fae could fly.
My soles would still reach them.
Ignoring the ceaseless laughter of my future handmaiden, I set my eyes on matters ahead.
Whatever the fae intended, they would not wait—and neither would I.
But no matter the sharpness of their blades, the keenness of their minds or the might of their magic, I would meet them with the full dignity and splendour of a princess of Tirea.
And that meant having a noble steed.
Indeed, no confrontation with the fabled denizens of the Seasonal Courts would be acceptable without a steadfast horse to carry me into either conflict or negotiation.
I would need the briskest and most nimble of coursers to bear me on the journey north and to represent my royal lineage. A proud steed whose ancestors had carried not only princesses, but empresses also.
… Or, I could meet them with a draft horse with a very hairy mane, formally owned by a barkeeper, and who only trotted as if pulling a heavy cart at all times.
Ohohoho! Yet again, my skill at diplomacy shows itself!
Why should I afford the fae any amount of respect? If they chose to gather at our borders, then I would meet them with the disdain they deserve!
A trotting horse who occasionally detoured to nibble at daisies was precisely the sort of message I wished to convey to our foes! In doing so, I would expertly state my opinion that even the First Children were not worthy of my immediate consideration.
This was the Kingdom of Tirea, and any trespasser which stepped upon it became lower than the dirt they transgressed on.
Thus, I nodded and waited, all the while Apple snorted as the stablemaster led him towards me.
Frankly, I wasn't certain who looked gloomier.
The horse who was now leaving this buffet paradise of fluffy hay, or the stablemaster who was now about to lose his only client.
“Your draft horse,” said the stablemaster, his eyes studiously going over Apple's bridle, despite the clear fatigue which sat upon his expression. “I'll miss him, even with his endless stomach. He ate through everything I had to feed him, and then everything I didn't feed him, also.”
I smiled proudly, placing my hand to my chest.
“Apple bears the weight of the kingdom upon his back. His hunger is proof of his burden. Naturally, he'd be peckish.”
“He chewed through a stable door, ma'am.”
“Apple!” I turned to the horse, frown in hand. “We've discussed this before! You do not chew through pine! Why, you can already see the cracks where the rain has seeped through the subpar quality wood! There are better stables made from ancient oak or black cedar you can eat!”
The stablemaster looked at me with a raised brow. He opted not to say anything.
How could he? I was not only officially his most valuable customer, but I was also speaking the truth. This man was an acceptable stablemaster. But the stables themselves left much to be desired.
Indeed, it was a tragic mirror of the kingdom's finances.
Around me was a reminder of my grim task ahead.
Where there should be the sight of dozens of mares and destriers, there was instead a lonely paddock and a line of stalls all empty of grazing horses. It was pitiful. Gone was the rows of the kingdom's hardy steeds, destined to carry my luggage whenever I toured with the royal procession.
Now the noble neighing was replaced by Apple's snorts, and also the consternation of the stablemaster.
“It was a pleasure,” he said, handing me the reins. “Thank you for your patronage. You may return should pine prove sufficient in the future.”
Behind me, Coppelia made herself known via the sound of her blowing on a dandelion. The seeds spread far and wide, disappearing into the spring sky. She smiled, picked up another dandelion, then stuffed it in her mouth.
“We'll definitely return,” she said, her answer almost lost amongst the chewing. “I give this meadow a 5/5. You have bluebells, blackberries, primroses and dandelions. And none of them are mushy.”
The stablemaster looked at Coppelia with clear concern. Not for her well-being, but for his own eyes. He blinked until he knew what he was seeing was real.
Even then, he hesitated.
“This isn't a meadow, ma'am. It's a paddock for the horses.”
“Well, there aren't any horses now, and if it stays this way, then I'm in favour of coming back in the summer to see what the hibiscuses are like.”
Sadly, it appeared my future handmaiden had more than a few points to learn regarding tact.
“Coppelia, there's no need to draw attention to the decrepit state of this stablemaster's finances,” I said, before turning to the man in question. “My apologies for my attendant's forthrightness. But fear not, no matter how poorly your business currently suffers, I will soon make amends of the situation.”
The stablemaster shrugged.
“Actually, business has never been better.”
I held my hand over my mouth.
To … To think that the tradespeople of this kingdom were in such dire straits that they permitted delusions to inhibit reality. I had to hurry!
“... If you must know, my business isn't only stabling other people's horses. It's stabling my own. And all my horses have been bought or loaned.”
“Oh.” I tossed all visage of concern away and checked Apple's saddle. “To the knights? I've heard they're headed north en-masse.”
“I wouldn't claim to know where the knights are going. Most of my horses have gone to those riding for Aquina.”
I paused, my eyes sweeping back to the stablemaster.
The Duchy of Aquina was on my itinerary, make no mistake. As a province in open revolt, it would not be spared the full length and width of my boot of authority. But that I was hearing its name now while I was already bound for the Wovencoille did nothing but fill me with grief.
“... Aquina? Why?”
“To get themselves and their pride beaten up as swiftly as they can, most likely. That duke over there just announced a new tournament.”
I looked at the stablemaster in bewilderment—and then overwhelming ire.
“A tournament?!”
“Aye, a tournament. A fighting bout to rival the Grand Midsummer Tournament, so far as prize is concerned. 10,000 gold crowns for the winner. Enough to replace all the pine with ancient oak or black cedar.”
I could scarcely believe it.
A tournament? Duke Valence was hosting a tournament?
Granted, there could be no other reason why fools would be riding to Aquina. It certainly wasn't for its cosmopolitan cities, for which it had none. But a tournament? Aquina was known only for its cottages and rivers. It was not a location for hosting tournaments!
Among the endless list of issues plaguing this kingdom, hearing Duke Valence clearly preparing some dimwitted scheme was not one that filled me with joy.
“What is the meaning of this?” I said to anyone at all. “Why would Duke Valence be hosting a tournament? Is Aquina not a constant bed of civil unrest? How is that even remotely appropriate?”
The stablemaster shrugged.
“That's nothing to do with the boys and girls looking for 10,000 gold crowns. All the keenest rode out on whichever mule I could spare. If luck is with them, those young hopefuls will come back missing just their pride.”
A rush of condemnation fought to be the first to be sounded in my mind.
A tournament! Reitzlake boasted its own during the Midsummer Festival. A marvellous spectacle of duelling prowess revered by all the budding hoodlums of the kingdom. A time where the brave, the bold and the bored could gather together to wage their bets and swing their swords in bloody barbarism.
Oh, how the peasants adored these events of vulgarity. A time when they could publicly holler as though in a bar and cheer as they're freed from their life of poverty while seated upon the steps of the grand arena.
It was a monumental waste of time.
Why, when they were enjoying camaraderie in the warmth of a crowd, they were not sweating while toiling the fields!
And now, such an event was being hosted by the Duchy of Aquina?
A province which had long skirted its tax commitments?
The absolute lack of shame! The gall!
How dare they seek to enamour themselves with the people! If they were going to revolt, then they had no right to host a tournament as though they still held any seat of respect! That Duke Valence would have the cheek to put on a tournament while actively hostile to the kingdom that shields it is outrageous!
I took in a deep breath, then focused on batting away Apple as he tried to lick me.
No, Duke Valence's turn would come. Him and whatever mischief he had planned.
I had more troubling matters to attend to.
Our lumber industry was a matter of vital importance to our trade and national infrastructure, and the fae were nothing if not an existential threat. What was this duke's scheme, but another box on my check list?
“... Thank you for seeing to Apple's needs,” I said, joined by Coppelia nodding in gratitude with dandelions in her mouth. “I suggest you repair the stable doors. And not only the one Apple was chewing through. There are hints that wood boring insects reside in your stables. I suggest copious amounts of fire. Farewell.”
With a curt nod, I acknowledged the stablemaster for his efforts, then left riding atop Apple with Coppelia walking by my side.
My noble steed and loyal retainer secured, it was time to bid farewell to Reitzlake, now free of the scourge of organised crime!
As expected, I'd done an exemplary job!
Premonitions of future headaches aside, I could depart the royal capital with a smile, satisfied in the full knowledge that I was leaving it in a calmer state than when I arrived.
Truly, Reitzlake had never been more peaceful.
“Hey, hey, Juliette?”
“What is it?”
“Did you just hear someone scream?”
I stopped, just shy of the entrance to a tavern. I listened out.
“I only hear the sounds of louts inventing new ways to be a nuisance. Where is the scream coming from?”
Coppelia tilted her head slightly, ear to nowhere in particular.
After a few moments, she shrugged.
“Eh. If it's important, they'll scream again.”
“Then let's go. I have an invasion to stop and at least two more afterwards for all I know. We cannot linger. Certainly not for petty cries of help.”
“Do we have time to pick up some crêpes?”
I was aghast.
Our quest was as noble as it was urgent! To delay was to risk failure. Of course we didn't time to stop for delicious, warm, freshly baked, capital-style crêpes filled with ice cream and … and … and—
“I need to ensure Apple is properly bridled and saddled for the challenges ahead. You get the crêpes in the meantime.”
“Yay~ chocolate crêpes! And violence! Let's go, go!”
I nodded, ignoring Coppelia's fist pump as she wrongly suggested there would be any violence involved.
Yes, some furniture had been overturned. But I could hardly be blamed for that. And anyone who could were now imprisoned.
I was a princess of discretion and subtlety. And while I wouldn't hesitate to enforce Tirea's sovereignty on the fae, I would naturally seek to use diplomacy as my first port of call.
I had no idea why the denizens of the Fae Realm would be congregating in our northern forests, but if there existed a justifiable reason for it, then there also existed a justifiable reason for them to immediately vacate themselves.
And if not, well.
There was also the boot of authority. And it did not matter how high the fae could fly.
My soles would still reach them.
