Minotaurs.
Hailing from the Spiral Isle, they made up some of the greatest and most famed knightly chapters that history has ever known.
Dressed in their distinctive steel regalia and wielding black battle axes forged from the active volcano which dominated their homeland, minotaurs were renowned for their chivalry as much as their strength.
Questing minotaurs in search of purpose, or more commonly, the right to join one of the Pantheons which ruled over minotaur society, were regularly found righting wrongs across the continent.
They were pilgrims and champions, providing aid even if they were poor, and justice where there was none. And unlike the Adventurer's Guild, they didn't elbow their way into politics while smirking behind utterly unenforced codes of conduct.
They were welcome strangers in these lands, particularly for the free security and labour they provided. No matter which Pantheon they served, the valour and sense of duty of a minotaur was shared by all.
That's why—
It was not with fire and brimstone in my wake that I had Apple trot up to the minotaur lazing in his hammock.
It was with patience.
And a grimacing smile that was not at all strange or unwieldy.
Why, minotaurs were the epitome of the virtues of knighthood. I was certain that this was all a misunderstanding. Perhaps all the minotaurs enjoyed stretching their hooves on this particular road?
“Good morning, Sir Minotaur.”
“Mornin'. Fair weather, isn't it?”
My smile strained like marmalade through a cheesecloth.
“Yes … Yes, you've said. Just to be certain, it was you, wasn't it?”
“Indeed, it was,” said the minotaur, cheerfulness personified as he casually flipped a page in his book. “10 silver crowns.”
I tilted my head.
“Excuse me?”
“10 silver crowns.”
The minotaur casually held out his palm while still holding his book with the other.
I looked very hard at it.
And then my patience snapped.
“What is the meaning of this?! Explain to me in five words or fewer why we're currently in a labyrinth! And why are you holding your palm out as though expecting a monetary sum to be deposited in it?!”
Indeed, it could not be anything else!
A labyrinth!
The famed works of storied minotaur magic, perilous to navigate and certain death to the unprepared! Magic so old and powerful that minotaurs were expressly forbidden from creating labyrinths outside the Spiral Isle without a host of local building grants and stipulations being met!
Casting a labyrinth wasn't like erecting a garden! It was like conjuring a new forest! A vast, sweeping forest filled with fruit slimes and corners without end!
A forest just like this one!
“I'm a minotaur. Easy coin.”
I stamped my boot on the ground, fury coursing through my veins as I sought to grapple with the sheer indignation I felt.
Could I not traverse my own kingdom without being waylaid for one day?!
“How … How dare you! This is utterly illegal!”
“Yup.”
The minotaur flipped a page.
… He hadn't even read it yet!
“10 silver crowns and you're free to go,” he said, once again holding out his palm.
My fists clenched.
The utter blasé! The sheer disregard! The overwhelming apathy for my displeasure!
This is how I treated peasants! This is not how I was treated!
“You are not a questing minotaur! What are you?! Are you some manner of highwayman ... no, highwayminotaur?!”
“Yup.” The minotaur yawned, then shook his palm slightly. “Once again, 10 silver crowns and you're free to go.”
I could scarcely believe it.
This … This rogue! If he wished to rob me, then he at least needed to put in a veneer of effort! How dare he attempt to extort me without any sinister cackling or unnecessary threats of force!
And 10 silver crowns?!
That was a pittance! I was a princess! Demand a castle!
“H … How dare you attempt such a petty extortion act on me! 10 silver crowns is absurd!”
“That's because this isn't a petty extortion act. It's art. And art should be affordable.”
I threw up my arms.
Now the minotaur was claiming his work of wide-scale vandalism as art! To me! Someone whose actual art now spanned every corridor of the Royal Villa!
The cheek!
“You have illegally erected a labyrinth in the middle of our countryside and have now entrapped us in it! There is no technique in this! It is barbarism! You are to release us immediately, and then still face the consequences afterwards!”
“Now, you see, releasing you implies I'm keeping you against your will. The exit is neither barred nor guarded. Technically, you're free to leave at your own leisure.”
“Technically?!”
“It's a very long walk. However, a shortcut can be yours for the low, low sum of 10 silver crowns, or any denomination matching that amount.”
The minotaur swung idly in his hammock as he held his palm out, as certain in his scheming as he was in his ability to not come crashing down when I decided to use my boot of authority directly on his lazing head.
“You are more than a brigand if you believe I will pay even a single copper crown,” I said, sucking in a deep breath. “I will not simply stand here and allow this insult to pass. And neither will my loyal future handmaiden—”
Silence greeted my introduction.
I looked around, bewildered by the sudden absence of Coppelia, and more than a little dissatisfied with her missed cue.
Then, I finally found her.
“This. Is. Amazing!”
Still at the corner where we'd turned, Coppelia was continuously popping her head back and forth, in and out of sight. She then pointed eagerly to the beginning of the road behind me.
I turned around, then groaned as Coppelia's head popped back and forth from that corner as well.
“This is soooooooooooooo cool!” she said, her wide beam now well and truly surrounding me. “Look! I can see my own hands! Look, look! I'm waving at myself! Duck shapes! This. Is. So. Amazing!”
I pursed my lips, then turned to the minotaur.
“... Though you find me alone and unaccompanied in this forest, know that it will take more than a common brigand to coerce any amount of crowns from me!”
The minotaur chuckled.
“Actually, I'm more than a brigand. I'm a smart brigand. And I value your ability to judge risk versus cost. The fact of the matter is that 10 silver crowns is really not a lot of money. I understand your frustration. Nobody likes being robbed. But at the same time, it's not really worth your time to argue.”
Suddenly, this 300 pound vandal pointed up ahead, past Coppelia's head as she planted bunny ears on herself with her hands.
My ire increased dramatically upon seeing a fork in the road—one which I already knew did not lead to any semblance of an exit.
It only went deeper into the forest.
“10 silver crowns,” the horned robber continued. “I estimate someone dressed as finely as yourself can easily afford the cost over the wasted effort in navigating the extensive maze up ahead. 10 silver crowns and the shortcut is made available to you.”
“A shortcut?! A shortcut to another round of extortion, no doubt! I see how this game is played!”
“On the contrary, there is no game. Untold misery and hardship will be replaced with a pleasant five minute stroll through an immaculately presented petunia garden. These are your two choices. Now, which will it be?”
The minotaur casually held out his palm yet again.
I slapped it away. Or rather, I slapped it and nothing happened other than my hand stinging a considerable amount. But the message was delivered.
“I will take the third choice!” I declared, incensed at the casual disregard on display. Robbing a princess should be the highlight of any vagrant's life. This was unacceptable. “I will exit this labyrinth by defeating the scoundrel responsible for its creation!”
The minotaur's eyes glanced at the sword by my side.
He should have been watching my boot. No matter how sharp Starlight Grace was, my soles were deadlier.
“Really now. Did you think I'd do this if threats of violence concerned me?”
Then, the minotaur yawned again.
However, even as he lazed perfectly still, something snapped in the distance.
It was not only something I heard. But something I felt. A crackle of unmitigated energy reverberating in the air.
All of a sudden, a tingle of magic as old as time itself teased at the back of my neck.
And then I was treated to the most extraordinary of sights.
Because even as I stood perfectly still—
Everything else began to move.
kayenano Be sure to check out my Patreon if you'd like to read 20 chapters ahead! You'll also support the story! There's also the Discord if you'd to join the community. Everyone's friendly!
Minotaurs.
Hailing from the Spiral Isle, they made up some of the greatest and most famed knightly chapters that history has ever known.
Dressed in their distinctive steel regalia and wielding black battle axes forged from the active volcano which dominated their homeland, minotaurs were renowned for their chivalry as much as their strength.
Questing minotaurs in search of purpose, or more commonly, the right to join one of the Pantheons which ruled over minotaur society, were regularly found righting wrongs across the continent.
They were pilgrims and champions, providing aid even if they were poor, and justice where there was none. And unlike the Adventurer's Guild, they didn't elbow their way into politics while smirking behind utterly unenforced codes of conduct.
They were welcome strangers in these lands, particularly for the free security and labour they provided. No matter which Pantheon they served, the valour and sense of duty of a minotaur was shared by all.
That's why—
It was not with fire and brimstone in my wake that I had Apple trot up to the minotaur lazing in his hammock.
It was with patience.
And a grimacing smile that was not at all strange or unwieldy.
Why, minotaurs were the epitome of the virtues of knighthood. I was certain that this was all a misunderstanding. Perhaps all the minotaurs enjoyed stretching their hooves on this particular road?
“Good morning, Sir Minotaur.”
“Mornin'. Fair weather, isn't it?”
My smile strained like marmalade through a cheesecloth.
“Yes … Yes, you've said. Just to be certain, it was you, wasn't it?”
“Indeed, it was,” said the minotaur, cheerfulness personified as he casually flipped a page in his book. “10 silver crowns.”
I tilted my head.
“Excuse me?”
“10 silver crowns.”
The minotaur casually held out his palm while still holding his book with the other.
I looked very hard at it.
And then my patience snapped.
“What is the meaning of this?! Explain to me in five words or fewer why we're currently in a labyrinth! And why are you holding your palm out as though expecting a monetary sum to be deposited in it?!”
Indeed, it could not be anything else!
A labyrinth!
The famed works of storied minotaur magic, perilous to navigate and certain death to the unprepared! Magic so old and powerful that minotaurs were expressly forbidden from creating labyrinths outside the Spiral Isle without a host of local building grants and stipulations being met!
Casting a labyrinth wasn't like erecting a garden! It was like conjuring a new forest! A vast, sweeping forest filled with fruit slimes and corners without end!
A forest just like this one!
“I'm a minotaur. Easy coin.”
I stamped my boot on the ground, fury coursing through my veins as I sought to grapple with the sheer indignation I felt.
Could I not traverse my own kingdom without being waylaid for one day?!
“How … How dare you! This is utterly illegal!”
“Yup.”
The minotaur flipped a page.
… He hadn't even read it yet!
“10 silver crowns and you're free to go,” he said, once again holding out his palm.
My fists clenched.
The utter blasé! The sheer disregard! The overwhelming apathy for my displeasure!
This is how I treated peasants! This is not how I was treated!
“You are not a questing minotaur! What are you?! Are you some manner of highwayman ... no, highwayminotaur?!”
“Yup.” The minotaur yawned, then shook his palm slightly. “Once again, 10 silver crowns and you're free to go.”
I could scarcely believe it.
This … This rogue! If he wished to rob me, then he at least needed to put in a veneer of effort! How dare he attempt to extort me without any sinister cackling or unnecessary threats of force!
And 10 silver crowns?!
That was a pittance! I was a princess! Demand a castle!
“H … How dare you attempt such a petty extortion act on me! 10 silver crowns is absurd!”
“That's because this isn't a petty extortion act. It's art. And art should be affordable.”
I threw up my arms.
Now the minotaur was claiming his work of wide-scale vandalism as art! To me! Someone whose actual art now spanned every corridor of the Royal Villa!
The cheek!
“You have illegally erected a labyrinth in the middle of our countryside and have now entrapped us in it! There is no technique in this! It is barbarism! You are to release us immediately, and then still face the consequences afterwards!”
“Now, you see, releasing you implies I'm keeping you against your will. The exit is neither barred nor guarded. Technically, you're free to leave at your own leisure.”
“Technically?!”
“It's a very long walk. However, a shortcut can be yours for the low, low sum of 10 silver crowns, or any denomination matching that amount.”
The minotaur swung idly in his hammock as he held his palm out, as certain in his scheming as he was in his ability to not come crashing down when I decided to use my boot of authority directly on his lazing head.
“You are more than a brigand if you believe I will pay even a single copper crown,” I said, sucking in a deep breath. “I will not simply stand here and allow this insult to pass. And neither will my loyal future handmaiden—”
Silence greeted my introduction.
I looked around, bewildered by the sudden absence of Coppelia, and more than a little dissatisfied with her missed cue.
Then, I finally found her.
“This. Is. Amazing!”
Still at the corner where we'd turned, Coppelia was continuously popping her head back and forth, in and out of sight. She then pointed eagerly to the beginning of the road behind me.
I turned around, then groaned as Coppelia's head popped back and forth from that corner as well.
“This is soooooooooooooo cool!” she said, her wide beam now well and truly surrounding me. “Look! I can see my own hands! Look, look! I'm waving at myself! Duck shapes! This. Is. So. Amazing!”
I pursed my lips, then turned to the minotaur.
“... Though you find me alone and unaccompanied in this forest, know that it will take more than a common brigand to coerce any amount of crowns from me!”
The minotaur chuckled.
“Actually, I'm more than a brigand. I'm a smart brigand. And I value your ability to judge risk versus cost. The fact of the matter is that 10 silver crowns is really not a lot of money. I understand your frustration. Nobody likes being robbed. But at the same time, it's not really worth your time to argue.”
Suddenly, this 300 pound vandal pointed up ahead, past Coppelia's head as she planted bunny ears on herself with her hands.
My ire increased dramatically upon seeing a fork in the road—one which I already knew did not lead to any semblance of an exit.
It only went deeper into the forest.
“10 silver crowns,” the horned robber continued. “I estimate someone dressed as finely as yourself can easily afford the cost over the wasted effort in navigating the extensive maze up ahead. 10 silver crowns and the shortcut is made available to you.”
“A shortcut?! A shortcut to another round of extortion, no doubt! I see how this game is played!”
“On the contrary, there is no game. Untold misery and hardship will be replaced with a pleasant five minute stroll through an immaculately presented petunia garden. These are your two choices. Now, which will it be?”
The minotaur casually held out his palm yet again.
I slapped it away. Or rather, I slapped it and nothing happened other than my hand stinging a considerable amount. But the message was delivered.
“I will take the third choice!” I declared, incensed at the casual disregard on display. Robbing a princess should be the highlight of any vagrant's life. This was unacceptable. “I will exit this labyrinth by defeating the scoundrel responsible for its creation!”
The minotaur's eyes glanced at the sword by my side.
He should have been watching my boot. No matter how sharp Starlight Grace was, my soles were deadlier.
“Really now. Did you think I'd do this if threats of violence concerned me?”
Then, the minotaur yawned again.
However, even as he lazed perfectly still, something snapped in the distance.
It was not only something I heard. But something I felt. A crackle of unmitigated energy reverberating in the air.
All of a sudden, a tingle of magic as old as time itself teased at the back of my neck.
And then I was treated to the most extraordinary of sights.
Because even as I stood perfectly still—
Everything else began to move.
kayenano Be sure to check out my Patreon if you'd like to read 20 chapters ahead! You'll also support the story! There's also the Discord if you'd to join the community. Everyone's friendly!
