A warm breeze fell over me as the Wovencoille neared.
Boorish diplomats destined for a short career often remarked that there was little difference between the northern reaches of our kingdom and the fertile fields of our lowlands. But not only was that a scandalous lie, it was also not the poorly veiled insult they wished it to be.
Because what the Kingdom of Tirea lacked in vast swathes of territory, we made up for in bountiful resources, reliable seasons and a temperate climate.
Indeed, there was a reason why peasants made up such an unfathomably large percentage of our population, and it wasn't just because it suited my family's hegemonic control that it remained that way.
No, it was because we, and I mean they, enjoyed the fruits of the soil more than any fine wine or silken pillow.
Thus, even if it was the lowlands that were famed for its harvests, our fair fields and our growing winery industry could be found scattered all across this fair realm.
Indeed, as Apple rounded a small hill topped with sunshine, I was offered an unimpeded view of wide stretches of arable farmland, a single idyllic town, and the vast blanket of fluffy white snow that was smothering them all.
I nodded, smiled, and then turned to Coppelia.
“Why is there so much snow?!”
What … What was this?!
It was the height of springtime!
There should be honey bees dancing between the flowers! Children laughing with disgusting menace as they frolicked and destroyed meadows!
Now all I saw was a sheet of white to rival the peaks of our highest mountains! There was not a hint of our verdant green fields! The only wine that our vineyards would be producing would be distilled snow! That fell out of fashion years ago!
That wasn't even the worst of it!
No … because where I should be seeing the grand outline of the Wovencoille, the ancient forest to which so much of our kingdom's industry relied upon, all I saw was an impassable wall of nature.
It was a snowstorm like no other. A violent tornado of ice and snow. And yet there was none of the grey skies, chill and frost that should accompany such a devastating force of nature.
Above the blizzard, spring reigned unabated, its bright sunshine nurturing the tulips as they continued to grow proudly beside the ever creeping snow.
Apple leaned down and ate one.
“Gosh,” said Coppelia, looking intrigued as she studied the wreckage of our northern economy. “That's a new sight, isn't it? It's snowing, but not from any clouds.”
Indeed, it was a sight as curious as it was appalling.
There was snow. Impossible quantities of it. But rather than visibly falling, it appeared to be accumulating on its own accord. A vast curtain as violent as a squall, growing only bolder by the moment.
There could be no doubt.
This was the work of the fae. And this boded poorly for the lumber mills which existed beyond that snowstorm.
I tugged on Apple's reins to continue trotting. He did, but only after eating another tulip.
“Very well. We'll speak with the residents of this town. Perhaps they can provide us with pertinent information about the calamity the fae has caused here. If not, we'll simply make do.”
Coppelia looked at me in puzzlement.
“What about the knights?”
“Hm?”
“The knights. They probably know something too.”
Coppelia pointed ahead.
There, strewn across the snowy fields, banners and sigils of a dozen knightly chapters flew merrily in the spring wind, their colours blazing amongst a sea of fine tents and grand pavilions.
The failed knight in Reitzlake had spoken true about the whereabouts of his peers, at least.
“Oh, the knights. You're correct. They likely do know something. What a shame.”
Coppelia tilted her head slightly.
“A shame?”
“Yes. I'm certain they could have told us something useful.”
“Eh? I'm confused.”
“About what?”
“Well, if you want to ask those fancy knights of yours what's happening, can't you just scoot down and do that? It's not like they're going to say no, are they?”
Ah, my dearest Coppelia.
Such an innocent soul. She truly had no idea, did she?
“Coppelia, there is absolutely no scenario in which we'll be able to get even remotely close to asking a knight any questions. They are currently gathered around a countryside town, whose residents only know of them from storybooks and fairytales. Do you have any notion of what that entails?”
“A lot of horse leftovers to clean up the next morning?”
Alas for the residents of this town.
That would be the easiest of things to pick up in the morning.
“Ohohoho … prepare yourself,” I said, glad for the opportunity to impart some learning on my future handmaiden. “Because I shall introduce to you a glimpse of the lowest levels of the abyss.”
Allowing Coppelia's confusion to stew, I led the way down the hill and towards the town.
As we approached, the seasons changed. Grass turned to snow and peace turned to chaos. But it wasn't the swirling snowstorm in the distance that was the cause of the anarchy and pandemonium which awaited us in the town.
No … for all the fae's magic, there were some things which even they could not contend with. Indeed, it was the very reason why this town still stood, untouchable by even a howling blizzard.
The most powerful adversary known to exist beneath the stars.
“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”
“Carry me! Carry me in your arms! You or you! It doesn't matter who!”
“Can … Can I ride the horse? Your horse is sooooooo pretty.”
“They're … They're … They're so handsome!”
That's right.
It was a horde of squealing towngirls.
The most unstoppable force in existence.
The snow engulfing this land mattered as little to them as a drifting leaf in autumn. A meteor could fall and be repulsed by the sheer force of the screaming as they cried out at the knights to carry them away in their arms.
Unlike my eldest sister, Florella, I wasn't enamoured with the righteous defenders of our kingdom.
True, they were neither peasants nor nobility, and were therefore neither poor nor useless. But for all their skill at arms, there existed a notable drawback to possessing a force composed primarily of eligible bachelors who spewed gallantry with each step they took.
I tugged on Apple's reins, halting him while I slowly adjusted my ears to the sound of fair maidens permanently damaging my mental faculties.
“Coppelia,” I said, my voice lost amidst the bedlam. “Stay close, and do not look at any of the towngirls in the eyes. They may view you as a direct rival.”
The clockwork doll blinked as she took in the scenes. For a moment, she merely looked bemused.
And then she saw the knights.
Here was a truly impressive gathering of Tirea's staunchest defenders as they lay arrayed in battle formation outside terrace cafes and within upmarket restaurants, ready to put aside their glasses of wine and handsome smiles to do battle against the very elements at a moment's notice.
It was a splendid sight. Hundreds of knights poised to meet any creature to emerge from the depths of the blizzard, just after they finished conversing with their giggling admirers.
Indeed, there was little doubt that these brave souls were prepared to lay down their lives in defence of this town, all the while asking no questions, no favours, and certainly no permission from the fathers of these girls as they took them in their arms. As ever, their steadfast loyalty represented the spirit of the Kingdom of Tirea.
Coppelia slowly turned to me.
“I want to go back,” she said.
I nodded, satisfied I'd shown her a glimpse of what awaited beyond perdition.
Then, I focused my efforts on locating the nearest source of depression to interrogate.
My search came to fruition immediately. A lone stall keeper was putting his wares away in a cart, clearly tired from needing to shield his wares from the alliance of housewives and adolescent girls joining hands to stampede anything that remotely got in the way of their incessant fawning.
I rode up to him, glad that Apple was the one to carry me through this crowd. Unlike a falling meteor, he couldn't be deflected. He moved at one speed and stuck to it.
“You. Sad looking peasant. I have questions.”
The stall keeper looked up, hope lighting up in his eyes. He slowly began to lower his boxes of goods. Stacks of white bowls peeked out from an open lid.
I held up my hand.
“No, don't. I have no intention of purchasing anything from you … unless, is that fine porcelain?”
“Nay, it's ceramic.”
“Then no, I won't be buying anything from you.”
His depression returned in the form of his slumped shoulders. He returned to packing all his wares away in the small cart.
Good. Very good. A defeated opponent was easier to manage.
“Merchant, I require information which neither the gaggle of screaming towngirls nor the winks of unshaven knights can tell me. Fae in the Wovencoille. True or false?”
Instead of providing me with an immediate answer, the stall keeper merely looked bewildered. I quietly groaned. Indisposed knights and useless commoners. Everything I needed to ensure I did everything myself. Again.
“She's an F-rank adventurer,” said Coppelia cheerfully. “Oh, wait. She's E-rank now.”
To my horror, the stall keeper brightened up at once.
“Oh, an adventurer? Then it's true, aye. Terrible lot, them fae. Makes for rowdy neighbours. Not as bad as this lot, though.”
He indicated towards the general disorder and lawlessness. I pushed both the chaos and Coppelia's unnecessary interjection out of my mind.
“Agreed. But I'm not here to disperse these knights. I'm here to disperse the fae. What about the lumber mills in the Wovencoille? What has happened to them?”
“The mills? Ye mean the villages?”
“No, I mean the lumber mills.”
The stall keeper gave me a confused look before answering.
“Well, can't be nothing good, I'm afraid. A few of the younger lads. They tried to go through before it got too bad. Granted, it was mostly to impress against them knights, but ...”
“They couldn't?”
“Aye.”
“Was the snowstorm that severe?”
“It wasn't the snow. They just couldn't. Same goes for them knights, before they started mucking about. There's something more than snow keeping them all back.”
Of course there would be.
For all the snowstorm's vigour, the fae's true strength wasn't in manipulating weather. It was magic. And neither time nor these womanising knights was going to bring it to a close.
“I see.” I tugged on Apple's reins, directing him towards the direction of the blizzard. “Very well. You may rejoice, sad looking commoner. Though I cannot aid your faltering business in the highly competitive ceramics market, I can at least relieve you of the burden of too many loitering knights.”
The stall keeper responded with a look of indignation.
Whatever he said, I didn't hear. Partly because the towngirls had started cackling in joy when one of the knights began performing juggling tricks with his sword. But mostly because I was already focused on my next objective.
“Coppelia, how accustomed are you to snow?”
“Ask me once again after I've shown you my award winning snow replica of a 1/12th scale mature blue dragon, complete with a frozen breath attack on a defenceless human village.”
“I will. Because we're going into that snowstorm.”
“Okie~ what's the plan?”
I raised my hand to my lips and smiled.
My plan? My plan was the same as the night I left my bedroom.
Step 1: Discover what wrongs are plaguing this kingdom, and fix everything!
And I'll do it in the way that only I could.
“Ohohoho … why, I'm going to negotiate with the snow, of course.”
A warm breeze fell over me as the Wovencoille neared.
Boorish diplomats destined for a short career often remarked that there was little difference between the northern reaches of our kingdom and the fertile fields of our lowlands. But not only was that a scandalous lie, it was also not the poorly veiled insult they wished it to be.
Because what the Kingdom of Tirea lacked in vast swathes of territory, we made up for in bountiful resources, reliable seasons and a temperate climate.
Indeed, there was a reason why peasants made up such an unfathomably large percentage of our population, and it wasn't just because it suited my family's hegemonic control that it remained that way.
No, it was because we, and I mean they, enjoyed the fruits of the soil more than any fine wine or silken pillow.
Thus, even if it was the lowlands that were famed for its harvests, our fair fields and our growing winery industry could be found scattered all across this fair realm.
Indeed, as Apple rounded a small hill topped with sunshine, I was offered an unimpeded view of wide stretches of arable farmland, a single idyllic town, and the vast blanket of fluffy white snow that was smothering them all.
I nodded, smiled, and then turned to Coppelia.
“Why is there so much snow?!”
What … What was this?!
It was the height of springtime!
There should be honey bees dancing between the flowers! Children laughing with disgusting menace as they frolicked and destroyed meadows!
Now all I saw was a sheet of white to rival the peaks of our highest mountains! There was not a hint of our verdant green fields! The only wine that our vineyards would be producing would be distilled snow! That fell out of fashion years ago!
That wasn't even the worst of it!
No … because where I should be seeing the grand outline of the Wovencoille, the ancient forest to which so much of our kingdom's industry relied upon, all I saw was an impassable wall of nature.
It was a snowstorm like no other. A violent tornado of ice and snow. And yet there was none of the grey skies, chill and frost that should accompany such a devastating force of nature.
Above the blizzard, spring reigned unabated, its bright sunshine nurturing the tulips as they continued to grow proudly beside the ever creeping snow.
Apple leaned down and ate one.
“Gosh,” said Coppelia, looking intrigued as she studied the wreckage of our northern economy. “That's a new sight, isn't it? It's snowing, but not from any clouds.”
Indeed, it was a sight as curious as it was appalling.
There was snow. Impossible quantities of it. But rather than visibly falling, it appeared to be accumulating on its own accord. A vast curtain as violent as a squall, growing only bolder by the moment.
There could be no doubt.
This was the work of the fae. And this boded poorly for the lumber mills which existed beyond that snowstorm.
I tugged on Apple's reins to continue trotting. He did, but only after eating another tulip.
“Very well. We'll speak with the residents of this town. Perhaps they can provide us with pertinent information about the calamity the fae has caused here. If not, we'll simply make do.”
Coppelia looked at me in puzzlement.
“What about the knights?”
“Hm?”
“The knights. They probably know something too.”
Coppelia pointed ahead.
There, strewn across the snowy fields, banners and sigils of a dozen knightly chapters flew merrily in the spring wind, their colours blazing amongst a sea of fine tents and grand pavilions.
The failed knight in Reitzlake had spoken true about the whereabouts of his peers, at least.
“Oh, the knights. You're correct. They likely do know something. What a shame.”
Coppelia tilted her head slightly.
“A shame?”
“Yes. I'm certain they could have told us something useful.”
“Eh? I'm confused.”
“About what?”
“Well, if you want to ask those fancy knights of yours what's happening, can't you just scoot down and do that? It's not like they're going to say no, are they?”
Ah, my dearest Coppelia.
Such an innocent soul. She truly had no idea, did she?
“Coppelia, there is absolutely no scenario in which we'll be able to get even remotely close to asking a knight any questions. They are currently gathered around a countryside town, whose residents only know of them from storybooks and fairytales. Do you have any notion of what that entails?”
“A lot of horse leftovers to clean up the next morning?”
Alas for the residents of this town.
That would be the easiest of things to pick up in the morning.
“Ohohoho … prepare yourself,” I said, glad for the opportunity to impart some learning on my future handmaiden. “Because I shall introduce to you a glimpse of the lowest levels of the abyss.”
Allowing Coppelia's confusion to stew, I led the way down the hill and towards the town.
As we approached, the seasons changed. Grass turned to snow and peace turned to chaos. But it wasn't the swirling snowstorm in the distance that was the cause of the anarchy and pandemonium which awaited us in the town.
No … for all the fae's magic, there were some things which even they could not contend with. Indeed, it was the very reason why this town still stood, untouchable by even a howling blizzard.
The most powerful adversary known to exist beneath the stars.
“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”
“Carry me! Carry me in your arms! You or you! It doesn't matter who!”
“Can … Can I ride the horse? Your horse is sooooooo pretty.”
“They're … They're … They're so handsome!”
That's right.
It was a horde of squealing towngirls.
The most unstoppable force in existence.
The snow engulfing this land mattered as little to them as a drifting leaf in autumn. A meteor could fall and be repulsed by the sheer force of the screaming as they cried out at the knights to carry them away in their arms.
Unlike my eldest sister, Florella, I wasn't enamoured with the righteous defenders of our kingdom.
True, they were neither peasants nor nobility, and were therefore neither poor nor useless. But for all their skill at arms, there existed a notable drawback to possessing a force composed primarily of eligible bachelors who spewed gallantry with each step they took.
I tugged on Apple's reins, halting him while I slowly adjusted my ears to the sound of fair maidens permanently damaging my mental faculties.
“Coppelia,” I said, my voice lost amidst the bedlam. “Stay close, and do not look at any of the towngirls in the eyes. They may view you as a direct rival.”
The clockwork doll blinked as she took in the scenes. For a moment, she merely looked bemused.
And then she saw the knights.
Here was a truly impressive gathering of Tirea's staunchest defenders as they lay arrayed in battle formation outside terrace cafes and within upmarket restaurants, ready to put aside their glasses of wine and handsome smiles to do battle against the very elements at a moment's notice.
It was a splendid sight. Hundreds of knights poised to meet any creature to emerge from the depths of the blizzard, just after they finished conversing with their giggling admirers.
Indeed, there was little doubt that these brave souls were prepared to lay down their lives in defence of this town, all the while asking no questions, no favours, and certainly no permission from the fathers of these girls as they took them in their arms. As ever, their steadfast loyalty represented the spirit of the Kingdom of Tirea.
Coppelia slowly turned to me.
“I want to go back,” she said.
I nodded, satisfied I'd shown her a glimpse of what awaited beyond perdition.
Then, I focused my efforts on locating the nearest source of depression to interrogate.
My search came to fruition immediately. A lone stall keeper was putting his wares away in a cart, clearly tired from needing to shield his wares from the alliance of housewives and adolescent girls joining hands to stampede anything that remotely got in the way of their incessant fawning.
I rode up to him, glad that Apple was the one to carry me through this crowd. Unlike a falling meteor, he couldn't be deflected. He moved at one speed and stuck to it.
“You. Sad looking peasant. I have questions.”
The stall keeper looked up, hope lighting up in his eyes. He slowly began to lower his boxes of goods. Stacks of white bowls peeked out from an open lid.
I held up my hand.
“No, don't. I have no intention of purchasing anything from you … unless, is that fine porcelain?”
“Nay, it's ceramic.”
“Then no, I won't be buying anything from you.”
His depression returned in the form of his slumped shoulders. He returned to packing all his wares away in the small cart.
Good. Very good. A defeated opponent was easier to manage.
“Merchant, I require information which neither the gaggle of screaming towngirls nor the winks of unshaven knights can tell me. Fae in the Wovencoille. True or false?”
Instead of providing me with an immediate answer, the stall keeper merely looked bewildered. I quietly groaned. Indisposed knights and useless commoners. Everything I needed to ensure I did everything myself. Again.
“She's an F-rank adventurer,” said Coppelia cheerfully. “Oh, wait. She's E-rank now.”
To my horror, the stall keeper brightened up at once.
“Oh, an adventurer? Then it's true, aye. Terrible lot, them fae. Makes for rowdy neighbours. Not as bad as this lot, though.”
He indicated towards the general disorder and lawlessness. I pushed both the chaos and Coppelia's unnecessary interjection out of my mind.
“Agreed. But I'm not here to disperse these knights. I'm here to disperse the fae. What about the lumber mills in the Wovencoille? What has happened to them?”
“The mills? Ye mean the villages?”
“No, I mean the lumber mills.”
The stall keeper gave me a confused look before answering.
“Well, can't be nothing good, I'm afraid. A few of the younger lads. They tried to go through before it got too bad. Granted, it was mostly to impress against them knights, but ...”
“They couldn't?”
“Aye.”
“Was the snowstorm that severe?”
“It wasn't the snow. They just couldn't. Same goes for them knights, before they started mucking about. There's something more than snow keeping them all back.”
Of course there would be.
For all the snowstorm's vigour, the fae's true strength wasn't in manipulating weather. It was magic. And neither time nor these womanising knights was going to bring it to a close.
“I see.” I tugged on Apple's reins, directing him towards the direction of the blizzard. “Very well. You may rejoice, sad looking commoner. Though I cannot aid your faltering business in the highly competitive ceramics market, I can at least relieve you of the burden of too many loitering knights.”
The stall keeper responded with a look of indignation.
Whatever he said, I didn't hear. Partly because the towngirls had started cackling in joy when one of the knights began performing juggling tricks with his sword. But mostly because I was already focused on my next objective.
“Coppelia, how accustomed are you to snow?”
“Ask me once again after I've shown you my award winning snow replica of a 1/12th scale mature blue dragon, complete with a frozen breath attack on a defenceless human village.”
“I will. Because we're going into that snowstorm.”
“Okie~ what's the plan?”
I raised my hand to my lips and smiled.
My plan? My plan was the same as the night I left my bedroom.
Step 1: Discover what wrongs are plaguing this kingdom, and fix everything!
And I'll do it in the way that only I could.
“Ohohoho … why, I'm going to negotiate with the snow, of course.”
