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Published at 27th of February 2023 01:23:38 PM


Chapter 169

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Wolf wanted to tell Anna that Headmaster Smith talked him into becoming an official Eighth Order Mage, but couldn’t make himself say it.

He’d finally realized that whenever he opened his mouth, he deceived the woman he loved. In fact, from the day they met, Wolf hid so many things from Anna that he now felt ashamed.

It’s not that he didn’t care about her. He cared about all of his friends, even Barbara and especially Anna, but… Wolf simply had too many secrets he had to keep from the world, including his friends.

The only person he trusted unconditionally at this point was his big brother, and even that was under duress. South already knew all of Wolf’s secrets, even those the boy himself didn’t know.

“Anna, I,” Wolf started, but then choked on his words.

Why did I come here? What do I want to tell her? I’m sorry? Is that really what I should say right now? Should I chide her? Do we break up now?

All the thoughts Wolf should’ve entertained on his way over churned madly through his mind. The young man took a deep breath, then followed his heart and gut and not his brain.

“I’m sorry.” Wolf gazed straight into Anna’s eyes. “I caused you too much pain.”

He took another deep breath, without averting his gaze. “I should’ve come clean about what happened, and we should’ve discussed it and solved it together.”

Wolf paused again. And now, the hard part.

“But what you did to that poor woman is wrong. It’s very, very wrong and very, very evil.” Wolf’s head spun as he said those words, feeling phantom pain in organs he had and those he didn’t. “I patched up what I could and, as my father taught me, I meted out punishment as I saw fit. In fact, if secretary Richard hadn’t interrupted me, I would’ve continued, and then, maybe, I would’ve gone overboard. But now I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do about you... or us... Do you have any ideas?”

Wolf expected these words would fill him with righteous wrath, but what he felt was exhaustion and sorrow.

Tears stream down Anna’s cheeks once more after seeing Wolf’s expression and hearing his words.

“I don’t know what came over me. I was so hurt. You can’t imagine how wretched I felt,” Anna said, her voice cracking.

I wanted to marry you, but then you went to a brothel and tarnished my reputation completely. I forgave you and thought about what we should do, only to find out you had a mistress behind my back. As these whispers cropped up in Anna’s mind, the young woman started feeling her anger and resentment rise back again.

“I wanted her dead. To grind her into meat paste. I wanted her to suffer as much as I did when I read that letter,” Anna growled, no longer trying to reign in her emotions.

“Can you show me the letter?” Wolf asked, he’d initially wanted to ask how Anna found out, but now wasn’t the time.

Luckily, Anna brought up the subject, allowing him to steer the conversation in a different direction. Wolf was afraid that he’d be rubbing salt into Anna’s fresh wound by bringing up that subject first.

As for Anna, when she heard this question, she felt embarrassed. She’d already destroyed the letter in a fit of rage.

“I shredded it.” Anna shook her head and looked to the ground.

She knew what Wolf wanted to do, but finding the one who wrote the letter would take a lot of time and effort even for a True-Namer, and if the informant used a magical pen or a regular human proxy, all the trails would lead to them.

Wolf sighed, the missing clue didn’t bother him.

“I think I already know who’s behind this,” the youth mumbled. “I just wanted to get my facts straight. It doesn’t really matter in the end.”

As he ended that sentence Wolf once again fumbled for words, but he had to say it. He had to get it out in the open, no matter how difficult it was.

“And what about us?” Wolf asked honestly. “What do you think we should do now?”

It came down to this. Wolf had no idea what he was supposed to do with their relationship. Could Anna forgive him? Will he be able to forgive her? What about Mandy? Could she forgive either of them?

Anna’s answer, however, caught Wolf by surprise.

“I love you,” she said plainly. “Can’t you just love me back?”

“When did I ever say I don’t love you?” Wolf asked, raising his voice. “What does having sex with other women I’m using as resources have to do with me loving you? But even if I ended up loving a dozen or two dozen women, why would that change how I feel for you?” 

“You son of a bitch! Do you think I want to hear your nonsense now?” Anna screamed at Wolf.

All she wanted was a simple yes, even if Wolf lied. She didn’t want to hear a bunch of rhetorical questions.

“Well, what do you want then?” Wolf could feel frustration and anger welling up inside him, but he tried to calm down and act rationally.

“I want you to be my only man, and I want to be your only woman! It’s not that hard!” Anna yelled at Wolf.

“Does that mean you’re willing to give up on being a Mage?” Wolf asked with surprise, as he felt uneasy deep down inside.

Then I would be the one tearing down Anna’s dream. Why did I ask that? What if she says yes? Am I really willing to give up the Soul Force harvest I get so cheaply from brothels? Conflicting thoughts raged in Wolf’s mind, fighting to be heard. All the reasons for and against raced in his mind. However, he wasn’t the only one.

All you have to do is spread your legs and nature will take its course. All you have to do is spread your legs and nature will take its course. All you have to do is spread your legs and nature will take its course. Those vile words echoed in Anna’s mind over and over again, assaulting her sanity.

“Of course I want to be a Mage! Isn’t what we do now enough to satisfy you?” Anna screamed. Her soul quivered as she tried to drive away the maddening words which plagued her nightmares.

Wolf felt relieved hearing those words, but didn’t let it touch his face. Then, a moment later, he once more felt a pang of shame and guilt. Luckily he didn’t have to choose between Anna and the rapid growth of his Mind Palace. Deep down he knew which choice he would make, and it terrified him.

“What?” he exclaimed, doing his best to hide his true feelings by going on the offensive. “Are you talking about skulking around and doing what we do once in a blue moon? Look. If you can cope with the fact that I’m sleeping with other women then we can continue with our relationship as it was up to now. If you can’t…”

Wolf hesitated for a moment. “Well, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I love you and—”

“And what about that…” Anna started in a shaky voice, then paused before spitting out the remaining word. “… woman?”

The young woman was so quiet, Wolf could’ve mistaken her voice for Matilda’s back when he’d first met the Marchioness.

“I don’t know,” Wolf said, dragging his words. “I can tell you I honestly never planned on having anything to do with her ever again. But after this incident…”

I read her memories. Lived her life. I saw how deeply she cares about me. Even in the pit of despair she never once blamed me, even though she knew they were there because of me. She didn’t regret her choice either, which I can’t comprehend. Does Anna love me like that? But Wolf never even considered uttering those words.

“Once we’re done talking, I’ll head to her place,” Wolf said honestly, he was through with vague deceptions. “She has the right to decide her own future. Who knows, maybe you got your wish and after this ordeal she hates our guts.”

For a moment Wolf considered hiding the truth once more, but this whole mess happened because he wasn’t honest with Anna. If only he had told her before, maybe things wouldn’t have escalated as much as they did?

“What?” Anna screamed hysterically at Wolf. “Did you get that aroused by what happened? Maybe I should have a bunch of guys take turns on me tomorrow! Maybe then you’ll love me!”

*Slap!*

The sound of a brutal slap and the sound of teeth cracking echoed in the room. Anna’s face caved in, and her head jerked to the side from the force of Wolf’s vicious blow. Shattered teeth and blood sprayed out of her mouth as her jaw became a mangled mess. 

Wolf saw this scene clearly in his mind. The daydream seemed frighteningly real. His hand itched to deliver the devastating blow as a vicious glint appeared in his eyes.

Wolf clenched his teeth and balled the itching hand into a fist, digging his nails into the palm. Thankfully, the momentary impulse passed. Wolf didn’t do anything he would regret later.

“Anna, is that really what you think of me? Do you really see me as such a twisted person?” Wolf looked at Anna, his gaze forlorn, the disappointment in his voice tangible.

“For now, tell the gang I won’t be going on missions with you guys anymore.” Wolf then turned into a wisp of mist and vanished from the room.

Anna on the other hand just stood there, staring blankly. What came over me? Why did I do that? Why did I say something as stupid as that?

She regretted her words, but once said words can never be unsaid.

“Wolf, I didn’t mean it,” she shouted after snapping back to reality. “I never wanted to say something like that! Wolf, please!”

Seeing that Wolf wasn't coming back, Anna ran into her room and cried herself to sleep. She couldn’t understand why she would say something so disgusting. Was it out of spite? Was her mind really twisted to that point by her anger and jealousy? She didn’t know. The young woman shuddered, remembering the moment when Wolf was about to explode with anger. She thought he would crush her.

She’d already seen an overlap with the illusory image of her father... But then Wolf had held back. He didn’t beat her.

“Why did I say that? What possessed me to say that?” Anna muttered into the pillow, soaking it with tears.

***

While Anna tried to understand why she said the things she did, Wolf rushed towards Mandy’s apartment. He materialized inside and first fixed the broken front door. He opened and closed it twice to make sure it’s properly working, while delaying the confrontation with Mandy as much as possible.

Confirming he had fixed the door, Wolf undid the ward. Then he locked the apartment before going towards Mandy’s bedroom.

The door he’d ripped out of the frame lay atop the dining table’s remains. He wanted to fix it too, but he was out of furniture-mending spells. He gingerly entered the bedroom and saw Mandy was awake, taking deep breaths of the linens which covered the bed Wolf left behind.

The young woman woke up soon after Wolf healed her. Her physical trauma was gone, her mind was in the same state it was the day before. She was as good as new.

Mandy didn’t even mind waking up in an unfamiliar bed. As soon as she opened her eyes, she caught the intoxicating scent from the bedsheets, and didn’t want to leave the bed.

When she heard the soft footsteps, Mandy looked towards the door and saw Wolf. She looked at him for a couple of moments before smiling gently in a rather silly fashion.

“I’m still dreaming. Aren’t I?” she asked.

Wolf shook his head. “You’re not dreaming. We need to have a talk.”

Mandy moved to sit in the bed and let the blanket tumble down her bare body. For a moment she was surprised that she didn’t have a sleeping gown, but then realized this was even better. 

“We can talk about anything you want,” she said boldly. “Can we do it in bed?”

Mandy smiled and scooted to the side, making room for Wolf.

For an instant, Wolf felt his throat tighten and his lip twist with disgust. Luckily, Mandy wasn’t looking at him, and Wolf noticed what he was doing the very next moment.

You fucking hypocrite, Wolf cursed himself, straightening his face.

“Look, Mandy, we have something serious to discuss.” Wolf sat down on the bed, fully clothed. 

Mandy realized Wolf was all business, so she stopped flirting and covered herself up.

Wolf explained what happened in three sentences. He didn’t go into details, nor did he describe the state Mandy was in when he found her. He only said that she shouldn’t worry, and that he’d bought all the potions money could buy to heal her injuries as well as any remaining hidden trauma.

Mandy listened, her eyes wide in shock and disbelief. She thought Wolf was playing some bizarre trick on her, but the youth remained serious as he explained how he’d erased her memories.

Wolf then narrated in great detail what happened in the dueling ring. He gave Mandy the names, as well as an in-depth description of punishment he’d dealt to her tormentors.

Those words disgusted and horrified the woman, but also had her worried for Wolf’s safety. Making so many powerful enemies as a commoner was suicidal in her eyes. And he’d done it all because of her!

Wolf wrapped up without saying what happened between him and Anna, and without telling Mandy his actual Mage or Sword-Sage Order.

Then, a heavy and oppressing silence filled the room.

“I can’t even begin to explain how sorry I am for everything you’ve gone through today,” Wolf said solemnly, breaking the silence. “I don’t know how to make it up to you. So tell me, what do you want? What can I do for you?”

Wolf was uneasy. He had a heavy feeling in his heart. Guilt pressed down on him like a mountain, and for some unknown reason he felt fear. What was he afraid of? Mandy hating him? Why would that even matter?

He didn’t know, and Mandy just remained silent. Wolf believed the woman was thinking, but in reality, she was mustering her courage.

“How do you feel about me?” she finally asked, looking like a frightened bunny.

“I—” Wolf started and then paused for a moment to gather his thoughts.

Right now I’m not sure how I feel about myself, or Anna, Wolf thought. He was fatigued and had little mental strength to evaluate Mandy.

“I think you’re a good person,” he said the first thing that came to his mind, hoping he wouldn't choke on a lie. “I think I have warm feelings for you. But I don’t know what they are. Sorry.”

Unexpectedly, those half-hearted words drew a smile from Mandy.

“Then, do you mind having me as your woman?” she asked bluntly.

“Um… I already have a woman.” Wolf said, feeling flustered.

“I know, and I don’t care.” Mandy shook her head. “I’m fine with being a mistress.”

“I go whoring several times a week.” Wolf added, but Mandy rolled her eyes.

“Everyone knows that,” she said. “The city’s abuzz about how big of a pervert you are. They say you go through all the women in the place you visit and that you have a kinky interest in virgins.”

“No— I—” Wolf tried to explain himself, but no words came to mind. I’m draining the women of their Soul Force? He couldn’t say something like that.

Is my reputation really that bad? Maybe I should stop going to brothels? he considered for a moment before dismissing the thought. He didn’t care about his reputation, only about growing stronger.

“You haven’t answered,” Mandy said with a teasing smile, which she used to cover her own insecurity. “Do you mind having me as your woman?”

She avoided asking whether Wolf loved her. She was sure he didn’t. He probably didn’t even want her. Mandy believed that right now what Wolf felt was guilt, not love. However, you could nurture love, as long as the other person wasn’t unwilling.

“Why would I mind?” Wolf asked with a self-mocking smile. “As long as you don’t mind being stuck with me?”

Hearing the half-hearted reply, Mandy beamed a smile. Her head spun, and her breathing quickened as euphoria washed over her. However, she didn’t say a word. She tightly hugged Wolf, and showered him with tender kisses as tears of joy ran down her face.





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