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Published at 21st of April 2023 05:31:15 AM


Chapter 31

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The sound of crying drowned out the doorbell, Lu Wei lays on the floor holding her head and wept convulsively. Only when the doorbell rang in between gasping and coughing did they hear them. Lu Zhiqiao's hand stalled with her chest heaving violently. She threw her daughter's arm loose, with her hair falling in a mess and turned to open the door.

Qi Yan stood outside anxiously, rushed in as soon as the door opened, staggering as she didn't pay attention to the threshold under her feet. She was caught off guard and hugged Lu Zhiqiao. She didn't have time to stabilize her figure, when she heard Niu Niu's heart-piercing cry, and then she saw the little girl curled up on the ground and twitching non-stop, her heart ached.

"Are you really willing to beat her?" She hugged Lu Zhiqiao's shoulder and punched it lightly.

Lu Zhiqiao's body was stiff, like an unconscious wooden man, motionless, Qi Yan didn't pay attention to her, hurriedly changed her shoes and went in, hugging the little girl: "Niu Niu..."

"Don't cry, don't cry, get up, the ground is cold."

She coaxed her softly, and the little girl shrank into her arms, her voice hoarse and unable to speak, she just hugged her neck tightly and refused to let go, tears and snot rubbing against her collar.

Qi Yan felt distressed, and patted her on the back. Just as she was about to speak, Lu Zhiqiao's cold voice came from behind: "Qi Yan, get out of the way."

The child in her arms trembled, and her hands hugged her tighter.

"Since you've already hit her, let it go." She persuaded, touching the back of Lu Wei's head to comfort her.

Lu Zhiqiao's face turned pale, her eyes were a little red, her lips were trembling, she raised her hand and pointed at Qi Yan with a coat hanger: "Is this how you act as a teacher? You still protect a student when she cheated! How can you be worthy of being a teacher?"

"How I discipline my daughter has nothing to do with you!"

Lu Zhiqiao lost her mind with anger. Her daughter cheating on the exam was enough to break her down. Now seeing that same daughter whom she raised painstakingly, takes Qi Yan as a life-line, the taut thread in her heart snapped. Thinking about her daughter's attitude changing drastically in the past months, all emotions surged up and devoured her; heartache, jealousy and frustration.

Some words mean nothing when spoken by others, but when they come out of Lu Zhiqiao's mouth, they are sharper than the tip of a needle, and they stab deeply into Qi Yan's heart.

The words fell in an ear-splitting silence.

Short breathing, suppressed sobbing, all the subtle voices were amplified and slowed down. Qi Yan's pupils reflected the young mother's angry face; with crazy and determined eyes. Her heart hurts like being crushed by a heavy hammer, the aftermath spread to her whole body, and the back of the neck couldn't help shrinking.

She slowly let go of the little girl's arms, whom, after losing support, fell to her side. She silently looked at Lu Zhiqiao, her eyes dimmed.

In the past, her mentor always mentioned to her the words "being a teacher by example". She felt that things on the moral level were too unrealistic, and she didn't ask for greatness and righteousness, but only kept a bottom line and maintained herself above it. But she is too naive. Birds looking for food in the wild have seen how vast the blue sky is, so how could they be willing to live in a cage?

She has a heart that would rather wander all over the world and experience the vicissitudes of life than lose her freedom without worrying about food and clothing.

She was used to being spoiled by her parents since she was a child, and grew up freely. No matter what she did, her own feelings are the priority. She is a bit "deviant" in her bones, and she's most uncomfortable with people preaching about sacrifice and dedication. But she will not interfere with their business, she will just smile and brush off those who talk to her about it. She has done enough to save face, she will not offend others but will not make friends with them.

In the past three years, she has been alone, and she only maintains superficial politeness with her colleagues. Fortunately, the interpersonal relationship in school is not so complicated, and teaching well is enough.

But gradually, the profession has become cold and the podium is now surrounded by thorns, binding her tightly.

To her, the status of a teacher is no longer what she dreamed of, but instead became a shackle.

"I've never been a good teacher."

"You misread me."

Qi Yan said in a low voice, with a careless smile on the corner of her mouth, but her heart ached, "I'm sorry, I was nosy today, but I still hope you calm down, cheating can't solve the problem, and neither can hitting someone."

After finishing speaking, she withdrew her gaze, passed Lu Zhiqiao and walked to the door to put on her shoes.

"Wuuuu... Teacher Qi..." Just as she unlocked the door with her hands, Lu Wei suddenly rushed over to hug her.

Qi Yan was stunned, and looked up into the little girl's pleading eyes, her bloody heart softened again, she opened her mouth, and was about to speak when the frozen Lu Zhiqiao suddenly threw away the hanger,  she said coldly, "Let her come to your place for dinner."

She picked up her bag, turned her head into the bedroom, and closed the door heavily.

....

Pulling the curtains, the bedroom instantly became dark. Lu Zhiqiao put down her bag casually, and lay back on the bed. She stared at the ceiling blankly, her eyelashes trembling, and her vision was a little blurred.

The damp hot air surged up, making her eyes sore, she blinked a little, and the warm liquid dripped down the corners of her eyes, her dark eyes were full of water, and those intertwined emotions were sucked into the vortex of her heart.

It's messed up, her whole body is messed up, she doesn't know what she is thinking, let alone what she is doing.

Her daughter is the most important person in her life and her only family. She once vowed to raise her well, make her well-fed, and make her healthy and happy. Therefore, she has been careful and nervous all the time for more than ten years. She was afraid that she failed to teach her well, which caused the child to take a detour. What happened today is not because the child has become bad, but because she is too incompetent.

For her unintentional mistakes back then, she was apologetic to many people, so she had to spend her whole life paying off her debts. Whatever is wrong with the child is her fault. She deluded herself and vented her vulnerability.

Looking into her heart and examining it, the cruel and bloody reality hit her like a whip, and she couldn't avoid it.

The tears became more and more violent, Lu Zhiqiao smiled with her face up, covered her mouth again with a smile, for fear that the sobs in her throat would overflow, and her black moles at the corner of her eyes were drenched, making her look so pitiful.

There was a sound of closing the door outside, a very soft sound, and then there was silence.

The phone in her bag rang.

Except for her daughter's number, which has a special ringtone, 90% of the calls from other numbers are likely to be work calls. She sat up quickly, feeling a little dizzy at that moment, her eyes turned black. Her body lost its balance and fell to the side, but fortunately she regained her focus and her hands quickly grabbed the corner of the table for support, until the dizziness gradually disappeared

"Hello?"

She answered the phone while wiping her tears, clearing her throat with a light cough twice, regaining a stern expression.

"Well, the denomination currency does not match the contract."

"I haven't received the revision book yet, so don't send it out for now."

"I'm outside now, take it to Manager Chi to sign, and we'll talk about the rest tomorrow."

After hanging up the phone, Lu Zhiqiao sniffed lightly, her eyelids were half closed, and her dizzy head became much clearer. Originally, she was going to go back to work after the parent-teacher meeting, but she is obviously not in the mood now, so she sat in a daze for a while, then fell back on the bed.

Qi Yan's face flashed in her mind...

The black and soft long hair, cold and deep eyebrows, and warm and bright smile sometimes make her heart beat faster. She can't figure out what she is to her, but Qi Yan seems to become more and more closely integrated with her life. She doesn't know how long they can be neighbors, three years?  Five years? Or longer?

They can't be neighbors for the rest of their lives, right? She thought.

Regret suddenly surged in her heart. Her words earlier, she regretted right after they left her mouth, but regret is useless, the words have been said, like a nail driven into the stake, even if it is pulled out, will always leave traces.

Qi Yan is so understanding, she will forgive her.

In fact, that person is not as immodest as she appears on the surface. She is gentle and forgiving. A kind of gentleness that is selective, a tenderness based on sufficient strength and confidence. From the night of their first meeting, she was inexplicably attracted to her. At that time, she didn't understand what it was like, she thought it was just because she had been single for too long, and when she was hungry, she met someone that matches her appetite.

Now that she thinks about it, why did it have to be her?

Lu Zhiqiao lay sideways on the bed, the corners of her lips curled up unknowingly. When she realized it, she panicked, raised her hand and patted her face, grabbed the phone and rummaged through it, and drove the shadow of that person out of her mind…

.…

A skit was playing on the TV in the living room. Lu Wei sniffed and sat on the sofa watching, her body twitched, and she was amused after a while. It's just that she cried too much just now, her eyes were red and swollen, and she seemed to be crying when she laughed.

Qi Yan picked up the small square towel that she used to wipe Lu Zhiqiao's face last time, soaked it in hot water, then wring it dry, sat next to the girl, and gently wiped her face: "Niu Niu, is the show good?"

"Uh-huh."

"Don't cry if it is good, just smile."

The girl grinned and raised a bitter smile. She tried her best to smile, but her eyes were sore and swollen, and she was uncomfortable. She could only try not to disappoint Teacher Qi.

Qi Yan scratched her nose and boasted, "You're so pretty when you smile."

The damp towel wiped gently on her face to rid the sticky tears, her skin felt much refreshed immediately. The little girl was a little shy, puffing up her cheeks in embarrassment.

"Teacher. Qi..." she said with a nasal voice, "I'm sorry, I cheated."

"Well, what then?"

"I promise it won't happen again."

Qi Yan pursed her lips and smiled: "It doesn't matter if you make mistakes, as long as you know your mistakes and you can correct them." As she spoke, she put her other hand around the girl's shoulders and let her lean on her.

Lu Wei nodded, and couldn't help wrapping her arms around her slender waist and back, feeling warm. Thinking of how fierce her mother was just now, she felt a little aggrieved: "Teacher Qi, how did you find out..."

"Little fool, if you copy all the mistakes made by your classmates, and get a score of 102, of course you will be discovered."

"Well."

Lu Wei blushed, and muttered: "I just wanted to copy the multiple choice and fill in the blanks, but the big question is so difficult, I don't have a clue, so I just—"

"Niu Niu." Qi Yan interrupted her softly.

"No matter which question you copy, cheating is wrong. I understand that you are afraid that you will fail the exam and disappoint your mother, but if you tell a lie, you will have to use a thousand lies to cover it up. You cheated once in the exam. You got a high score, but actually you failed. What should you do next time in the exam? Continue to cheat? Cheat again and again to maintain the high score, won't it be hard?”

"Things that don't belong to you will never be safe in your own hands."

"Compared with the high grades obtained by cheating, your mother would rather see you improve little by little, and that would also give you a sense of accomplishment, don't you think?"

Lu Wei listened and nodded thoughtfully, her black eyes soaked with tears were bright and clear. She hugged Qi Yan's waist and rubbed her small face, feeling extremely comfortable, unconsciously feeling sleepy.

After all, she is just a child, she is not naturally bad, and she is still pliable so it is not a problem if they teach her well.

Qi Yan believed that she had a good eye for people. Although she hadn't paid much attention to Lu Wei before meeting Lu Zhiqiao, this child gave her a good first impression. She is cute and quiet, and she is the type of daughter she wants to raise. After a while, she gradually got to know them better, and felt that the mother and daughter have similar temperaments, both reserved and restrained.

Even occasionally a little cute.

If only she had a daughter like this.  she thought so.

"Niu Niu, are you sleepy?"

"Yes."

"Then sleep for a while, I'll cook, and eat here tonight, okay?" Qi Yan asked softly, stroking her hair gently with her palm.

The little girl's eyelids were already closed, and she vaguely agreed.

Qi Yan got up and brought a thick blanket, gently covered her body, and then turned off the TV.

....

After eating dinner and resting for a while, Qi Yan thought that Lu Zhiqiao's anger should have calmed down, so she wanted to send Lu Wei back. Unexpectedly, the little girl would not budge and would not let go of her.

"Teacher Qi, can I live with you?" the child asked pitifully.

"I'll sleep on the sofa, I won't make trouble for you."

Fear was shining in her big dark round eyes, Qi Yan squeezed her face, and sighed helplessly: "You must tell your mother." How could she be willing to let her sleep on the sofa, you little fool.

"Well, you go and talk."

"...Okay." She smiled and pinched her nose again, "By the way, I'll help you get a change of clothes."

"He he~"

It was already dark, the street lamps emitted a cold light, the night was thick and silent.

The lights were off at 901, Lu Zhiqiao was lying on the quilt with her clothes on, staring at the air where she couldn't see her fingers, and she kept lying in this position for who knows how long. She was a little hungry and thirsty, but she didn't want to move or get up.

The doorbell kept ringing, and she thought it was a hallucination, so she didn't move.

Then the phone rang.

Finally, as if waking up after a coma, she moved her fingers slightly, touched the mobile phone with the screen on, and glanced at the incoming call. Her heart was suddenly pinched by an invisible force, and the suffocation was forced into her throat, making it difficult for her to breathe.

She accepted the call, opened her mouth weakly but did not speak.

"Are you home? Open the door."

Qi Yan's calm voice came from the receiver, without any hint of emotion, but it was more powerful than roaring and snarling.

"I'm in..." Lu Zhiqiao propped up, feeling dizzy again and almost fell back. She responded while trying to stabilize her balance, got out of bed and pulled her slippers out.

The moment the light came on, she squinted her eyes, feeling unwell, and then opened the door.

A pair of slender and straight legs appeared in sight, slowly moving upwards, and the hair hanging down the waist was fluttering lightly. Qi Yan stood outside, with a faint smile on her lips, and took a step forward without waiting for her permission. Then she stepped into the house, and the two of them were very close to each other for a moment.

Usually, Lu Zhiqiao will step back to create a distance, but now she didn't move. She stared blankly at the person in front of her, her lips twitched, and hesitated to speak.

She just said such hurtful things, will Qi Yan really forgive her?

She's suddenly not so sure.

"Are you angry?" Qi Yan raised her eyebrows and chuckled lightly, her voice was unprecedentedly gentle.

Lu Zhiqiao looked at her quietly, her heart seemed to be melting bit by bit, a trace of sadness flashed across her warm eyes, her expression was with little resentment and full of forbearance.

Qi Yan suddenly grabs her hand and she is surrounded by layers of warmth.

Qi Yan curled up her fingertips, rubbed them lightly, looked into her eyes for a moment, remained silent for a long time then turned her other hand behind her back, and closed the door, followed by a long silence.

Their eyes intertwined, as if cobwebs are entangled and connected; they are inseparable.

"Sor-..."

"Hush."

Qi Yan raised her index finger to touch her lips, smiled, blocking what she wanted to say, and after a while, stretched her finger to the corner of her mouth, and pressed it lightly: "Let me hug you."

"Okay." Lu Zhiqiao agreed without hesitation.

Qi Yan probed her fingertips against her lips, she was gentle and careful. She smiled, her eyes shone brightly, but the corner showed loneliness. She leaned forward little by little, her mouth almost touching Lu Zhiqiao's ear, but she stopped, breathing steadily and slowly.

"I don't want you to compromise or take the initiative because of guilt."

"I want you to volunteer, because you want to"

She breathes out like a flower, confident and powerful with every word, that mesmerizes her heart.

The heat blowing through the ears made Lu Zhiqiao's body shiver a little, her fingers curled up. A faint impulse in her heart eager to break out, but was suppressed. She blushed, and her white skin bloomed a beautiful peach blossom color, making her tear mole, more charming.

The stronger she fights, the more excited, fascinated and uncontrollable she becomes.

"Niu Niu said she wants to stay with me tonight, do you agree?" Qi Yan let go of her hand, going back to her serious tone and expression.

Lu Zhiqiao suddenly woke up and was silent for a while, with a wry smile in her eyes: "...let her."

"Is this the first time you hit her?"

"Um."

"The child may be scared, it's okay, I will enlighten her, both of you, mother and daughter, calm down tonight." Qi Yansaid calmly, lowered her head to change her shoes, and entered the room on her own.

"I'll help her get a change of clothes."

As she spoke, her eyes drifted to the bedroom inside, as if she had finished her business and hurried away. Lu Zhiqiao kept her eyes fixed on her face, and subconsciously walked to the second bedroom with her legs, leading her in.

She just doesn't look at her.

Lu Zhiqiao looked away awkwardly, opened her daughter's wardrobe, and took a set of fluffy long-sleeved pajamas and a pair of trousers with pigtails.

Pulling the trousers' tail, she thought of her daughter and felt sour.

Handing over the clothes to Qi Yan, it was as if handing over her daughter to her, the pain tearing her apart, Lu Zhiqiao was filled with remorse for a moment, resentful and bitter at the same time, she closed the cabinet door and fled back to the master's bedroom.

She lay down on her side with tears soaking the bedding.

The door was unlocked, and it was gently and carefully pushed open. Qi Yan saw her lying on her side with her back facing the door, her shoulders trembling unceasingly, her footsteps paused, but she still went in lightly, sat on the edge of the bed, and gently held the door with one hand then held her shoulder.

"Just for one night."

"I promise, I will return a cute little girl to you tomorrow."

Qi Yan was a little bit dumbfounded.  It's really not easy for her to coax the big one after the little one.

Lu Zhiqiao suddenly sat up, patted her hand away, and said with a choked nasal voice, "Just let her recognize you as a mother."

She's testing her patience.

This person has always been cool and reserved, it's rare to see her shy and blushing, but she did not expect to see her throw a tantrum, quite a little bit of a little girl acting like a baby, which is irritating.

"Okay." Qi Yan leaned closer and raised her hand to grab her chin, "She's lucky to have two mothers."

Her words implied a lot. She looked ambiguously. Her feelings she desperately suppressed these days, suddenly poured out. She uncontrollably kissed her but dared not to stay more and only gently brushed then let go.

Her whole body, from head to toe, even the strands of her hair are clamoring that she likes her.

Taking away her desire, there would only be pure thoughts in her heart and eyes, so she can restrain herself, she wanted to explore, she wanted to understand.

"You have a good idea!" Lu Zhiqiao swatted her hand away again, a little annoyed, her tear-filled eyes shining.

"Give Niu Niu back to me tomorrow."

Qi Yan's heart was stupidly stirring, and her eyes were full of warmth: "Okay."

There was a brief silence, maybe she felt that she was losing her composure, Lu Zhiqiao wiped her face, turned her back to get her phone, unlocked and turned off the screen, unlocked again, swipe the screen with her fingertips, didn't know what to look at, and unconsciously clicked into the flight and hotel booking app.

"I'll take Niu Niu on vacation during the Chinese New Year." She casually broke the silence, with half of her face hidden in her hair.

Qi Yan cooperated with her and asked, "Well, where are you going?"

"Roland Island."

"The scenery is good, it is worth visiting once."

You've been there?"

"Um."

Lu Zhiqiao's eyes darkened, she stared at the phone without speaking.

"When are you going to leave?" Qi Yan didn't give a chance to be silent.

"The night of the 29th day of the lunar calendar."

"How many days?"

"We'll be back in the morning on the seventh day."

Qi Yan nodded, pretending to be disappointed and sighed: "Oh, I want to go out and play too, but unfortunately no one wants to take me with them." While sighing, she pretended to glance at her casually.

Inadvertently, she glanced at the flight information.

Lu Zhiqiao turned her face sideways, naturally feeling her gaze, neither hiding nor avoiding, she swipe the screen lightly with her finger, pulled to the hotel reservation page, put down the phone suddenly, and said, "I'm going to the bathroom."

The person left the bedroom, but the screen of the phone was on, facing Qi Yan horizontally.

Qi Yan pricked up her ears to listen to the movement in the toilet, quickly took out her mobile phone, turned on the camera, muted the sound, swiped the screen up and down, took two snaps, and then put it away calmly.

Toilet flush sounded.

Running water from the sink sounded.

Then the half-hidden door was pushed open, and Lu Zhiqiao came in. Seeing Qi Yan lowering her head and twisting the fluff on her daughter's pajamas, and looking at her mobile phone, which was still the page just now, she lowered her eyes to hide her dark and unclear emotions.

She walked over as if nothing had happened, picked up her phone and locked the screen, and said casually, "You can go out and play by yourself."

"It's boring to play alone."

"Is there no place you want to go?"

"There is." Qi Yan raised her brows, "The place I want to go is far away, but it is very beautiful, isolated from the world, and no one knows about it."

"Where?" Lu Zhiqiao asked suspiciously.

Qi Yan's slightly scorching breath rushed over, landed on her lips, and pressed a kiss lightly, with a soft voice: "Your heart."




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