Chapter 55
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Qi Yan's eyes are special, long but not slender, big and energetic, more seductive than peach blossoms, more charming than willow leaves, deep and bright brown pupils, half full of autumn water, like amber wine in a glass.
Every time they look at each other, Lu Zhiqiao can't help but be drawn in, as if there is a vortex in those eyes, she is deeply stuck in it and is stirred up. So much so that she can't help herself but be caught, sinking to the bottom.
Amber is abundant in Northern Europe. At that time, she was visiting the local area and was dazzled by all kinds of amber beeswax handicrafts. The moment she saw this necklace, she couldn't help thinking of Qi Yan's eyes, and bought it immediately.
The teardrop-shaped amber pendant is crystal clear, brimming with soft light. Qi Yan pulled open the coffee table drawer, took out a small mirror, pinched the pendant and put it next to her eyes, looked carefully in the mirror, and laughed: "It really is very similar.
"Do you like it?" Lu Zhiqiao asked nervously.
"Of course I like it." Qi Yan put down the mirror and handed the necklace to her, "Put it on for me quickly." She raised her neck, lifted the hair that was hanging behind her back with both hands, and turned sideways.
Lu Zhiqiao secretly breathed a sigh of relief, with a warm smile on her face, she held each end of the chain with both hands, passed around Qi Yan's slender and fair neck, and then locked the clasp.
The lock is a bit small, so she had to look carefully. Lu Zhiqiao leaned forward, and a faint fragrance penetrated her nose. Her arm trembled, and the back of her hand accidentally touched Qi Yan's back, the slightly burning temperature forced her to shrink back immediately, pulling the chain and strangling Qi Yan's throat.
Qi Yan gasp and Lu Zhiqiao hurriedly let go, apologizing in a low voice, and continued to look down at the lock.
There were titillating waves of warm breaths from behind, Qi Yan took a deep breath, her heart contracted suddenly, her fingers holding her hair slowly tightened, and she felt her cheeks hot.
"Alright."
Finally…
Lu Zhiqiao moved back a little, watched Qi Yan put down her hair, and unconsciously stretched out her hand to smooth it out for her. When she raised her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Qi Yan's flushed face, and doubts flashed in her eyes: "Is it hot? Your face is so red."
"No." Qi Yan pretended to smile calmly. She lowered her head and pinched the necklace pendant, and picked up the mirror to look at it. "Your style and vision are similar to mine. I also fancied a necklace a while ago, which is similar to this one, but it's not made of amber. Since you gave this to me, I don't have to buy it myself."
There are many kinds of amber necklaces, the common ones are not easy to match with clothes, but the style Lu Zhiqiao bought is simple and elegant, versatile, and can be used as a personal accessory. Once worn, it will not be taken off, even in the shower.
She looked at the mirror and smiled, her deep and sharp eyes bent into a crescent moon, she smiled, and there was a hint of disappointment in her brown pupils.
Qiao Qiao gave her a gift for the first time.
Just an ordinary gift, without any other, superfluous meaning. Maybe she took a look at it casually while shopping, and bought it when she thought it was suitable.
However, when Qiao Qiao saw this necklace, she immediately thought of her eyes. Does that mean she already has a place in her heart?
She should be content.
"As long as you like it." Lu Zhiqiao quietly stared at Qi Yan's face, seeing her mouth always curled into a deep arc, her heart warmed even more.
Qi Yan liked it, and she was also happy.
It was that toffee that was too sweet. Up to now, her taste buds, throat, and even her heart are all sweet.
After returning home, Lu Zhiqiao took a shower and sat in her daughter's room to do homework for a while.
At present, the things Lu Wei is learning are relatively simple. She tries her best to tutor her as much as she can. When her daughter enters high school in the future, she will have a little difficulty trying to tutor her. It has been so long and what she learned in high school is more or less returned to her teacher, she can't teach anyone.
"What is this?" Lu Zhiqiao stared at her daughter's math homework book, and was stunned when she saw the red pen writing under the last question.
After a closer look, it was the teacher's comment, written in three lines.
"Comments written by Teacher Peng." Lu Wei tilted her head and glanced, and said, "She writes it in the homework of every student."
Teacher Peng is a new math teacher. Lu Zhiqiao heard her daughter and Qi Yan talk about it before. At that time, she was only glad that Xu Shoukui no longer taught her daughter math, and didn't care too much about other things. Seeing the comments now, she suddenly became curious.
The content of the comments is generally encouraging, saying that her daughter's foundation is not bad, but her thinking is not very flexible, she is occasionally careless, and she needs systematic training for her weaknesses.
The teacher's handwriting is beautiful, and the tone between the lines is gentle.
It takes a lot of energy to write for each student for each assignment, and energy alone is not enough, you must have rich experience and patience. Lu Zhiqiao felt the teacher's good intentions through the book, and was filled with emotion for a moment, thinking of the person who lived across the door.
"Girl, what do you think of Teacher Peng?" she asked her daughter.
Lu Wei stopped writing, pouted her little mouth slightly, thought for a while, and said seriously: "She's pretty good but a bit naggy. However, if I dare to ask her a question, she won't scold me. Before with Teacher Xu, I didn't even dare to provoke him, because he will scold me.
No matter how children know how to evaluate teachers, they can only compare with the past. The most realistic feeling is that she used to be afraid of math class, but now she is not, and even dares to ask the teacher what she doesn't know.
"The teacher's nagging also hopes that you will become excellent. You see, every time Teacher Peng writes a comment so seriously, it means that she thinks that you are capable, and you can't give up. You have to work hard and don't let the teacher down." Lu Zhiqiao said softly, touching her daughter's face with a smile, and kissed her forehead again.
"Mom believes in you too."
The little girl hummed twice and nodded vigorously.
Near ten o'clock, Lu Zhiqiao randomly checked her daughter's vocabulary, urged her to brush her teeth, take a shower and go to bed, then went to wash clothes by herself, tidied up, turned off the lights and went back to the bedroom.
Pushing open the closet and putting the folded clothes in, her eyes fell on the small drawer, she paused, stretched out her hand and gently pulled it. The underwear of different styles and colors appeared in front of her eyes, as well as toys in the corner, and finger set.
[Try the explosive beads next time]
With Qi Yan's words echoing in her ears, Lu Zhiqiao's face suddenly became hot, with a hint of curiosity.
Last time she tried the normal model, and it felt good with small toys. She knew how deep she was and which points were most sensitive. Obviously, the explosive bead model should be a further attempt.
This feeling, like struggling to break through the invisible shackles and exploring the hidden and novel world, is both exciting and joyful.
She likes it.
Slowly reached for the box, took it out, closed the drawers and wardrobe, Lu Zhiqiao locked the door, turned the phone to silent, opened the music player software and clicked the female version of "Lonely Northern Hemisphere", and then sat on the bed.
The melodious melody and the female voice are gentle and soft, flowing through the room.
Lu Zhiqiao held the box, but did not open it for a long time.
For more than half a month, she has been trying to "admit" and "face up" little by little. Qi Yan gave her enough courage, at least she no longer thinks it is shameful, just like what Qi Yan said, just like eating and drinking water, this is closely related to life.
Changes are naturally good, but it is inevitable to think about the past, Qi Yan said not to repel thinking about it, but to look at memories with a mentality of tracing back to the source.
The roots of sin in her heart, the roots of shame, all hidden in the long river of time, tumbling and floating...
She was also at the age of junior high school. At that time, she was in love and was curious about some hazy things, such as changes in her body. When she had her first period, her mother only briefly talked about how to deal with it, and then told her that menstruation is dirty, shameful, and unsightly, and kept silent about the rest.
She planted the first seed of shame in her heart.
Her memory is pushed forward a few years, fragmented, it seems that there have been similar scenes, but she can't remember clearly.
There was a time when she learned to clamp the quilt*.
*clamping of the quilt or pillow between the legs, though some people do it for comfort, this can also be a way to masturbate
That morning, she stayed in bed, comfortably wrapped in the quilt, intoxicated by that feeling, and didn't want to get up. But then her mother came in and called her, caught off guard and saw the scene in front of her, immediately dragged her off the bed and scolded her for being shameless.
She panicked and didn't have time to react. She was slapped firmly on the face, and then countless embarrassing insults poured into her ears.
Shameless, unsightly, disrespectful, and prone to illness.
The house where her family lived was a unit dormitory, green painted white walls and wooden framed doors. The sound insulation is not very good, her mother's loud voice was sharp and piercing, scolding her and almost the entire building could hear. It was not enough, she also beat her up.
Her self-esteem was completely destroyed.
The shameful seed desperately took root and quickly grew into a towering tree, which has been with her for more than ten years since then.
Later, she fell in love with the English teacher in junior high school, but she couldn't tell whether she liked her or relied on her. She just felt that the teacher was very kind to her. She was also surprised that the girls around were chatting about which boy was handsome in private, but she couldn't get interested.
Another year older, with the concept of homosexuality in her heart, she was curious and afraid, and always felt that she was abnormal.
In high school, she was exposed to many things, and she gradually understood that homosexuality is not abnormal, but her sense of shame couldn't be erased. She also fell in love with a student in the class next door, and finally understood that this was true liking, and it was also the first time she tasted love, even though it was unrequited love.
Sour and sweet, one can have fun singing a solo act.
She plucked up the courage to confess to her schoolmate but unexpectedly she was despised and disgusted by the other party. The girl said that she was perverted and disgusting.
She was hit hard, more ashamed, and disheartened.
Later, when she got into college, the people and things she came into contact with were more fresh and broad. She liked a girl she met during military training. They had different majors, and the dormitory was separated by a wall. But she never dared to confess, fearing to get another "pervert" from the other party. She didn't even dare to make friends with her.
Until, that girl made a girlfriend.
Throughout her freshman year, she spent her time in a dark and gloomy mood, hating herself, disgusted with herself, and nearly wasting her studies. In her sophomore year, she slowly adjusted her mindset and decided to study hard first, get more exposure to new things and transform herself.
Unfortunately, God did not give her a chance.
The Spring Festival in her junior year was the nightmare of her life.
At the age of twenty, she hadn't graduated yet, but she lost everything overnight. She suddenly had a heavy burden and a responsibility on her shoulders. She no longer had time to think about herself. From then on, her mind was full of making money.
The song ended and the bedroom fell silent.
Qi Yan said that everyone has the right to enjoy happiness.
Lu Zhiqiao turned off the looping music, neatly opened the box of finger gloves, and took one...
….
Before the Qingming Festival*, the temperature plummeted.
*aka Tomb Sweeping Day, held on the 15th day after the Spring Equinox (April 4 or 5) that lasts for three days. It is a holiday devoted to remembering and honoring the deceased, people sweep and decorate gravesites, burn incense. and paper money, and make food offerings.
The sky is gloomy and dark, with a slight drizzle, cold wind blowing the roadside leaves rustling, chilling straight to people's bones.
Lu Zhiqiao drove alone to the suburban cemetery to pay her respects. In the cemetery, the pines and cypresses stood upright, solemn and bleak. Although it was raining, there were many people who came to visit the cemetery.
She bought a total of four bouquets of flowers and placed them in front of four tombstones. Due to overtime work and business trips, she had no time to take care of them carefully, so she only put flowers and said a few words that are almost the same every year, then left in a hurry.
She has been so busy recently that she doesn't know the difference between day and night. She flew to four cities in a week, and was in a hurry to eat and sleep. She originally thought that she would not visit her family during Qingming this year, but in the end, her heart couldn't get over the hurdles.
Fatigue, stress, continuous high-intensity work, and a sudden drop in temperature, Lu Zhiqiao fell ill the day after returning from the cemetery.
At first it was a sore throat, stuffy nose and sneezing, but after a short sleep, she almost couldn't get up once she lay down.
While her daughter was practicing the piano in the room, Lu Zhiqiao walked to the living room by leaning on the wall, took out the thermometer from the medicine box, and stuffed it under her arm.
With her eyelids half closed, she poured herself a glass of water with difficulty, drank half of it, and leaned on the sofa to pant. She knows in her heart that she must have caught a cold and had a fever, but there is an important meeting in the afternoon, and she must be there. No matter what, she must find a way to get better before three o'clock...
After a while, Lu Zhiqiao took out the thermometer and looked at it, it was thirty-nine degrees.
Really.
She put it aside casually, stood up and walked back to her room, put on her clothes, took her bag and mobile phone, came out and knocked on the door of her daughter's room, and said in a steady voice, "Baby, mom, will go out for a while, I'll come back at noon."
"Okay." Lu Wei's voice came from inside, then the broken piano sounded again.
Lu Zhiqiao went to the door to put on her shoes, saw the car keys on the porch, but didn't take them, she couldn't drive like this, instead, she thought it would be faster to take a taxi, so she hurried out with her drowsy body.
….
There were a lot of outpatients in the hospital, many had colds and fevers, and the infusion room was almost full.
Lu Zhiqiao leaned back on the chair with her eyes closed, the needle taped in her left hand was connected to a long infusion tube, and two bottles of medicine, large and small, hung above her head. She was dizzy and uncomfortable, her throat was dry and sore, and she wanted to sleep very much, but her whole body was cold, and her hands and feet were cold.
Her phone vibrated non-stop, and they were all work calls, they hung up one after another.
She doesn't know how many times it vibrated.
She was too lazy to open her eyes, and with a slip of her fingertips, she raised the phone to her cheek and gave a hoarse voice.
"Qiao Qiao?" Qi Yan's voice came from the other end, "What's wrong with your voice? Have you caught a cold?"
Lu Zhiqiao paused for a moment, raised her eyelids in a jerk, coughed uncontrollably as soon as she opened her mouth, and said intermittently: "Ahem...a little...cough..."
"Niu Niu said you went out, where are you?" Qi Yan's voice suddenly became louder.
"Cough...hospital...cough cough..."
"Wait for me!"
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Qi Yan's eyes are special, long but not slender, big and energetic, more seductive than peach blossoms, more charming than willow leaves, deep and bright brown pupils, half full of autumn water, like amber wine in a glass.
Every time they look at each other, Lu Zhiqiao can't help but be drawn in, as if there is a vortex in those eyes, she is deeply stuck in it and is stirred up. So much so that she can't help herself but be caught, sinking to the bottom.
Amber is abundant in Northern Europe. At that time, she was visiting the local area and was dazzled by all kinds of amber beeswax handicrafts. The moment she saw this necklace, she couldn't help thinking of Qi Yan's eyes, and bought it immediately.
The teardrop-shaped amber pendant is crystal clear, brimming with soft light. Qi Yan pulled open the coffee table drawer, took out a small mirror, pinched the pendant and put it next to her eyes, looked carefully in the mirror, and laughed: "It really is very similar.
"Do you like it?" Lu Zhiqiao asked nervously.
"Of course I like it." Qi Yan put down the mirror and handed the necklace to her, "Put it on for me quickly." She raised her neck, lifted the hair that was hanging behind her back with both hands, and turned sideways.
Lu Zhiqiao secretly breathed a sigh of relief, with a warm smile on her face, she held each end of the chain with both hands, passed around Qi Yan's slender and fair neck, and then locked the clasp.
The lock is a bit small, so she had to look carefully. Lu Zhiqiao leaned forward, and a faint fragrance penetrated her nose. Her arm trembled, and the back of her hand accidentally touched Qi Yan's back, the slightly burning temperature forced her to shrink back immediately, pulling the chain and strangling Qi Yan's throat.
Qi Yan gasp and Lu Zhiqiao hurriedly let go, apologizing in a low voice, and continued to look down at the lock.
There were titillating waves of warm breaths from behind, Qi Yan took a deep breath, her heart contracted suddenly, her fingers holding her hair slowly tightened, and she felt her cheeks hot.
"Alright."
Finally…
Lu Zhiqiao moved back a little, watched Qi Yan put down her hair, and unconsciously stretched out her hand to smooth it out for her. When she raised her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Qi Yan's flushed face, and doubts flashed in her eyes: "Is it hot? Your face is so red."
"No." Qi Yan pretended to smile calmly. She lowered her head and pinched the necklace pendant, and picked up the mirror to look at it. "Your style and vision are similar to mine. I also fancied a necklace a while ago, which is similar to this one, but it's not made of amber. Since you gave this to me, I don't have to buy it myself."
There are many kinds of amber necklaces, the common ones are not easy to match with clothes, but the style Lu Zhiqiao bought is simple and elegant, versatile, and can be used as a personal accessory. Once worn, it will not be taken off, even in the shower.
She looked at the mirror and smiled, her deep and sharp eyes bent into a crescent moon, she smiled, and there was a hint of disappointment in her brown pupils.
Qiao Qiao gave her a gift for the first time.
Just an ordinary gift, without any other, superfluous meaning. Maybe she took a look at it casually while shopping, and bought it when she thought it was suitable.
However, when Qiao Qiao saw this necklace, she immediately thought of her eyes. Does that mean she already has a place in her heart?
She should be content.
"As long as you like it." Lu Zhiqiao quietly stared at Qi Yan's face, seeing her mouth always curled into a deep arc, her heart warmed even more.
Qi Yan liked it, and she was also happy.
It was that toffee that was too sweet. Up to now, her taste buds, throat, and even her heart are all sweet.
After returning home, Lu Zhiqiao took a shower and sat in her daughter's room to do homework for a while.
At present, the things Lu Wei is learning are relatively simple. She tries her best to tutor her as much as she can. When her daughter enters high school in the future, she will have a little difficulty trying to tutor her. It has been so long and what she learned in high school is more or less returned to her teacher, she can't teach anyone.
"What is this?" Lu Zhiqiao stared at her daughter's math homework book, and was stunned when she saw the red pen writing under the last question.
After a closer look, it was the teacher's comment, written in three lines.
"Comments written by Teacher Peng." Lu Wei tilted her head and glanced, and said, "She writes it in the homework of every student."
Teacher Peng is a new math teacher. Lu Zhiqiao heard her daughter and Qi Yan talk about it before. At that time, she was only glad that Xu Shoukui no longer taught her daughter math, and didn't care too much about other things. Seeing the comments now, she suddenly became curious.
The content of the comments is generally encouraging, saying that her daughter's foundation is not bad, but her thinking is not very flexible, she is occasionally careless, and she needs systematic training for her weaknesses.
The teacher's handwriting is beautiful, and the tone between the lines is gentle.
It takes a lot of energy to write for each student for each assignment, and energy alone is not enough, you must have rich experience and patience. Lu Zhiqiao felt the teacher's good intentions through the book, and was filled with emotion for a moment, thinking of the person who lived across the door.
"Girl, what do you think of Teacher Peng?" she asked her daughter.
Lu Wei stopped writing, pouted her little mouth slightly, thought for a while, and said seriously: "She's pretty good but a bit naggy. However, if I dare to ask her a question, she won't scold me. Before with Teacher Xu, I didn't even dare to provoke him, because he will scold me.
No matter how children know how to evaluate teachers, they can only compare with the past. The most realistic feeling is that she used to be afraid of math class, but now she is not, and even dares to ask the teacher what she doesn't know.
"The teacher's nagging also hopes that you will become excellent. You see, every time Teacher Peng writes a comment so seriously, it means that she thinks that you are capable, and you can't give up. You have to work hard and don't let the teacher down." Lu Zhiqiao said softly, touching her daughter's face with a smile, and kissed her forehead again.
"Mom believes in you too."
The little girl hummed twice and nodded vigorously.
Near ten o'clock, Lu Zhiqiao randomly checked her daughter's vocabulary, urged her to brush her teeth, take a shower and go to bed, then went to wash clothes by herself, tidied up, turned off the lights and went back to the bedroom.
Pushing open the closet and putting the folded clothes in, her eyes fell on the small drawer, she paused, stretched out her hand and gently pulled it. The underwear of different styles and colors appeared in front of her eyes, as well as toys in the corner, and finger set.
[Try the explosive beads next time]
With Qi Yan's words echoing in her ears, Lu Zhiqiao's face suddenly became hot, with a hint of curiosity.
Last time she tried the normal model, and it felt good with small toys. She knew how deep she was and which points were most sensitive. Obviously, the explosive bead model should be a further attempt.
This feeling, like struggling to break through the invisible shackles and exploring the hidden and novel world, is both exciting and joyful.
She likes it.
Slowly reached for the box, took it out, closed the drawers and wardrobe, Lu Zhiqiao locked the door, turned the phone to silent, opened the music player software and clicked the female version of "Lonely Northern Hemisphere", and then sat on the bed.
The melodious melody and the female voice are gentle and soft, flowing through the room.
Lu Zhiqiao held the box, but did not open it for a long time.
For more than half a month, she has been trying to "admit" and "face up" little by little. Qi Yan gave her enough courage, at least she no longer thinks it is shameful, just like what Qi Yan said, just like eating and drinking water, this is closely related to life.
Changes are naturally good, but it is inevitable to think about the past, Qi Yan said not to repel thinking about it, but to look at memories with a mentality of tracing back to the source.
The roots of sin in her heart, the roots of shame, all hidden in the long river of time, tumbling and floating...
She was also at the age of junior high school. At that time, she was in love and was curious about some hazy things, such as changes in her body. When she had her first period, her mother only briefly talked about how to deal with it, and then told her that menstruation is dirty, shameful, and unsightly, and kept silent about the rest.
She planted the first seed of shame in her heart.
Her memory is pushed forward a few years, fragmented, it seems that there have been similar scenes, but she can't remember clearly.
There was a time when she learned to clamp the quilt*.
*clamping of the quilt or pillow between the legs, though some people do it for comfort, this can also be a way to masturbate
That morning, she stayed in bed, comfortably wrapped in the quilt, intoxicated by that feeling, and didn't want to get up. But then her mother came in and called her, caught off guard and saw the scene in front of her, immediately dragged her off the bed and scolded her for being shameless.
She panicked and didn't have time to react. She was slapped firmly on the face, and then countless embarrassing insults poured into her ears.
Shameless, unsightly, disrespectful, and prone to illness.
The house where her family lived was a unit dormitory, green painted white walls and wooden framed doors. The sound insulation is not very good, her mother's loud voice was sharp and piercing, scolding her and almost the entire building could hear. It was not enough, she also beat her up.
Her self-esteem was completely destroyed.
The shameful seed desperately took root and quickly grew into a towering tree, which has been with her for more than ten years since then.
Later, she fell in love with the English teacher in junior high school, but she couldn't tell whether she liked her or relied on her. She just felt that the teacher was very kind to her. She was also surprised that the girls around were chatting about which boy was handsome in private, but she couldn't get interested.
Another year older, with the concept of homosexuality in her heart, she was curious and afraid, and always felt that she was abnormal.
In high school, she was exposed to many things, and she gradually understood that homosexuality is not abnormal, but her sense of shame couldn't be erased. She also fell in love with a student in the class next door, and finally understood that this was true liking, and it was also the first time she tasted love, even though it was unrequited love.
Sour and sweet, one can have fun singing a solo act.
She plucked up the courage to confess to her schoolmate but unexpectedly she was despised and disgusted by the other party. The girl said that she was perverted and disgusting.
She was hit hard, more ashamed, and disheartened.
Later, when she got into college, the people and things she came into contact with were more fresh and broad. She liked a girl she met during military training. They had different majors, and the dormitory was separated by a wall. But she never dared to confess, fearing to get another "pervert" from the other party. She didn't even dare to make friends with her.
Until, that girl made a girlfriend.
Throughout her freshman year, she spent her time in a dark and gloomy mood, hating herself, disgusted with herself, and nearly wasting her studies. In her sophomore year, she slowly adjusted her mindset and decided to study hard first, get more exposure to new things and transform herself.
Unfortunately, God did not give her a chance.
The Spring Festival in her junior year was the nightmare of her life.
At the age of twenty, she hadn't graduated yet, but she lost everything overnight. She suddenly had a heavy burden and a responsibility on her shoulders. She no longer had time to think about herself. From then on, her mind was full of making money.
The song ended and the bedroom fell silent.
Qi Yan said that everyone has the right to enjoy happiness.
Lu Zhiqiao turned off the looping music, neatly opened the box of finger gloves, and took one...
….
Before the Qingming Festival*, the temperature plummeted.
*aka Tomb Sweeping Day, held on the 15th day after the Spring Equinox (April 4 or 5) that lasts for three days. It is a holiday devoted to remembering and honoring the deceased, people sweep and decorate gravesites, burn incense. and paper money, and make food offerings.
The sky is gloomy and dark, with a slight drizzle, cold wind blowing the roadside leaves rustling, chilling straight to people's bones.
Lu Zhiqiao drove alone to the suburban cemetery to pay her respects. In the cemetery, the pines and cypresses stood upright, solemn and bleak. Although it was raining, there were many people who came to visit the cemetery.
She bought a total of four bouquets of flowers and placed them in front of four tombstones. Due to overtime work and business trips, she had no time to take care of them carefully, so she only put flowers and said a few words that are almost the same every year, then left in a hurry.
She has been so busy recently that she doesn't know the difference between day and night. She flew to four cities in a week, and was in a hurry to eat and sleep. She originally thought that she would not visit her family during Qingming this year, but in the end, her heart couldn't get over the hurdles.
Fatigue, stress, continuous high-intensity work, and a sudden drop in temperature, Lu Zhiqiao fell ill the day after returning from the cemetery.
At first it was a sore throat, stuffy nose and sneezing, but after a short sleep, she almost couldn't get up once she lay down.
While her daughter was practicing the piano in the room, Lu Zhiqiao walked to the living room by leaning on the wall, took out the thermometer from the medicine box, and stuffed it under her arm.
With her eyelids half closed, she poured herself a glass of water with difficulty, drank half of it, and leaned on the sofa to pant. She knows in her heart that she must have caught a cold and had a fever, but there is an important meeting in the afternoon, and she must be there. No matter what, she must find a way to get better before three o'clock...
After a while, Lu Zhiqiao took out the thermometer and looked at it, it was thirty-nine degrees.
Really.
She put it aside casually, stood up and walked back to her room, put on her clothes, took her bag and mobile phone, came out and knocked on the door of her daughter's room, and said in a steady voice, "Baby, mom, will go out for a while, I'll come back at noon."
"Okay." Lu Wei's voice came from inside, then the broken piano sounded again.
Lu Zhiqiao went to the door to put on her shoes, saw the car keys on the porch, but didn't take them, she couldn't drive like this, instead, she thought it would be faster to take a taxi, so she hurried out with her drowsy body.
….
There were a lot of outpatients in the hospital, many had colds and fevers, and the infusion room was almost full.
Lu Zhiqiao leaned back on the chair with her eyes closed, the needle taped in her left hand was connected to a long infusion tube, and two bottles of medicine, large and small, hung above her head. She was dizzy and uncomfortable, her throat was dry and sore, and she wanted to sleep very much, but her whole body was cold, and her hands and feet were cold.
Her phone vibrated non-stop, and they were all work calls, they hung up one after another.
She doesn't know how many times it vibrated.
She was too lazy to open her eyes, and with a slip of her fingertips, she raised the phone to her cheek and gave a hoarse voice.
"Qiao Qiao?" Qi Yan's voice came from the other end, "What's wrong with your voice? Have you caught a cold?"
Lu Zhiqiao paused for a moment, raised her eyelids in a jerk, coughed uncontrollably as soon as she opened her mouth, and said intermittently: "Ahem...a little...cough..."
"Niu Niu said you went out, where are you?" Qi Yan's voice suddenly became louder.
"Cough...hospital...cough cough..."
"Wait for me!"
Qi Yan's eyes are special, long but not slender, big and energetic, more seductive than peach blossoms, more charming than willow leaves, deep and bright brown pupils, half full of autumn water, like amber wine in a glass.Every time they look at each other, Lu Zhiqiao can't help but be drawn in, as if there is a vortex in those eyes, she is deeply stuck in it and is stirred up. So much so that she can't help herself but be caught, sinking to the bottom.Amber is abundant in Northern Europe. At that time, she was visiting the local area and was dazzled by all kinds of amber beeswax handicrafts. The moment she saw this necklace, she couldn't help thinking of Qi Yan's eyes, and bought it immediately.The teardrop-shaped amber pendant is crystal clear, brimming with soft light. Qi Yan pulled open the coffee table drawer, took out a small mirror, pinched the pendant and put it next to her eyes, looked carefully in the mirror, and laughed: "It really is very similar."Do you like it?" Lu Zhiqiao asked nervously."Of course I like it." Qi Yan put down the mirror and handed the necklace to her, "Put it on for me quickly." She raised her neck, lifted the hair that was hanging behind her back with both hands, and turned sideways.Lu Zhiqiao secretly breathed a sigh of relief, with a warm smile on her face, she held each end of the chain with both hands, passed around Qi Yan's slender and fair neck, and then locked the clasp.The lock is a bit small, so she had to look carefully. Lu Zhiqiao leaned forward, and a faint fragrance penetrated her nose. Her arm trembled, and the back of her hand accidentally touched Qi Yan's back, the slightly burning temperature forced her to shrink back immediately, pulling the chain and strangling Qi Yan's throat.Qi Yan gasp and Lu Zhiqiao hurriedly let go, apologizing in a low voice, and continued to look down at the lock.There were titillating waves of warm breaths from behind, Qi Yan took a deep breath, her heart contracted suddenly, her fingers holding her hair slowly tightened, and she felt her cheeks hot."Alright."FinallyLu Zhiqiao moved back a little, watched Qi Yan put down her hair, and unconsciously stretched out her hand to smooth it out for her. When she raised her eyes, she caught a glimpse of Qi Yan's flushed face, and doubts flashed in her eyes: "Is it hot? Your face is so red.""No." Qi Yan pretended to smile calmly. She lowered her head and pinched the necklace pendant, and picked up the mirror to look at it. "Your style and vision are similar to mine. I also fancied a necklace a while ago, which is similar to this one, but it's not made of amber. Since you gave this to me, I don't have to buy it myself."There are many kinds of amber necklaces, the common ones are not easy to match with clothes, but the style Lu Zhiqiao bought is simple and elegant, versatile, and can be used as a personal accessory. Once worn, it will not be taken off, even in the shower.She looked at the mirror and smiled, her deep and sharp eyes bent into a crescent moon, she smiled, and there was a hint of disappointment in her brown pupils.Qiao Qiao gave her a gift for the first time.Just an ordinary gift, without any other, superfluous meaning. Maybe she took a look at it casually while shopping, and bought it when she thought it was suitable.However, when Qiao Qiao saw this necklace, she immediately thought of her eyes. Does that mean she already has a place in her heart?She should be content."As long as you like it." Lu Zhiqiao quietly stared at Qi Yan's face, seeing her mouth always curled into a deep arc, her heart warmed even more.Qi Yan liked it, and she was also happy.It was that toffee that was too sweet. Up to now, her taste buds, throat, and even her heart are all sweet.After returning home, Lu Zhiqiao took a shower and sat in her daughter's room to do homework for a while.At present, the things Lu Wei is learning are relatively simple. She tries her best to tutor her as much as she can. When her daughter enters high school in the future, she will have a little difficulty trying to tutor her. It has been so long and what she learned in high school is more or less returned to her teacher, she can't teach anyone."What is this?" Lu Zhiqiao stared at her daughter's math homework book, and was stunned when she saw the red pen writing under the last question.After a closer look, it was the teacher's comment, written in three lines."Comments written by Teacher Peng." Lu Wei tilted her head and glanced, and said, "She writes it in the homework of every student."Teacher Peng is a new math teacher. Lu Zhiqiao heard her daughter and Qi Yan talk about it before. At that time, she was only glad that Xu Shoukui no longer taught her daughter math, and didn't care too much about other things. Seeing the comments now, she suddenly became curious.The content of the comments is generally encouraging, saying that her daughter's foundation is not bad, but her thinking is not very flexible, she is occasionally careless, and she needs systematic training for her weaknesses.The teacher's handwriting is beautiful, and the tone between the lines is gentle.It takes a lot of energy to write for each student for each assignment, and energy alone is not enough, you must have rich experience and patience. Lu Zhiqiao felt the teacher's good intentions through the book, and was filled with emotion for a moment, thinking of the person who lived across the door."Girl, what do you think of Teacher Peng?" she asked her daughter.Lu Wei stopped writing, pouted her little mouth slightly, thought for a while, and said seriously: "She's pretty good but a bit naggy. However, if I dare to ask her a question, she won't scold me. Before with Teacher Xu, I didn't even dare to provoke him, because he will scold me.No matter how children know how to evaluate teachers, they can only compare with the past. The most realistic feeling is that she used to be afraid of math class, but now she is not, and even dares to ask the teacher what she doesn't know."The teacher's nagging also hopes that you will become excellent. You see, every time Teacher Peng writes a comment so seriously, it means that she thinks that you are capable, and you can't give up. You have to work hard and don't let the teacher down." Lu Zhiqiao said softly, touching her daughter's face with a smile, and kissed her forehead again."Mom believes in you too."The little girl hummed twice and nodded vigorously.Near ten o'clock, Lu Zhiqiao randomly checked her daughter's vocabulary, urged her to brush her teeth, take a shower and go to bed, then went to wash clothes by herself, tidied up, turned off the lights and went back to the bedroom.Pushing open the closet and putting the folded clothes in, her eyes fell on the small drawer, she paused, stretched out her hand and gently pulled it. The underwear of different styles and colors appeared in front of her eyes, as well as toys in the corner, and finger set.Try the explosive beads next timeWith Qi Yan's words echoing in her ears, Lu Zhiqiao's face suddenly became hot, with a hint of curiosity.Last time she tried the normal model, and it felt good with small toys. She knew how deep she was and which points were most sensitive. Obviously, the explosive bead model should be a further attempt.This feeling, like struggling to break through the invisible shackles and exploring the hidden and novel world, is both exciting and joyful.She likes it.Slowly reached for the box, took it out, closed the drawers and wardrobe, Lu Zhiqiao locked the door, turned the phone to silent, opened the music player software and clicked the female version of "Lonely Northern Hemisphere", and then sat on the bed.The melodious melody and the female voice are gentle and soft, flowing through the room.Lu Zhiqiao held the box, but did not open it for a long time.For more than half a month, she has been trying to "admit" and "face up" little by little. Qi Yan gave her enough courage, at least she no longer thinks it is shameful, just like what Qi Yan said, just like eating and drinking water, this is closely related to life.Changes are naturally good, but it is inevitable to think about the past, Qi Yan said not to repel thinking about it, but to look at memories with a mentality of tracing back to the source.The roots of sin in her heart, the roots of shame, all hidden in the long river of time, tumbling and floating...She was also at the age of junior high school. At that time, she was in love and was curious about some hazy things, such as changes in her body. When she had her first period, her mother only briefly talked about how to deal with it, and then told her that menstruation is dirty, shameful, and unsightly, and kept silent about the rest.She planted the first seed of shame in her heart.Her memory is pushed forward a few years, fragmented, it seems that there have been similar scenes, but she can't remember clearly.There was a time when she learned to clamp the quilt*.*clamping of the quilt or pillow between the legs, though some people do it for comfort, this can also be a way to masturbateThat morning, she stayed in bed, comfortably wrapped in the quilt, intoxicated by that feeling, and didn't want to get up. But then her mother came in and called her, caught off guard and saw the scene in front of her, immediately dragged her off the bed and scolded her for being shameless.She panicked and didn't have time to react. She was slapped firmly on the face, and then countless embarrassing insults poured into her ears.Shameless, unsightly, disrespectful, and prone to illness.The house where her family lived was a unit dormitory, green painted white walls and wooden framed doors. The sound insulation is not very good, her mother's loud voice was sharp and piercing, scolding her and almost the entire building could hear. It was not enough, she also beat her up.Her self-esteem was completely destroyed.The shameful seed desperately took root and quickly grew into a towering tree, which has been with her for more than ten years since then.Later, she fell in love with the English teacher in junior high school, but she couldn't tell whether she liked her or relied on her. She just felt that the teacher was very kind to her. She was also surprised that the girls around were chatting about which boy was handsome in private, but she couldn't get interested.Another year older, with the concept of homosexuality in her heart, she was curious and afraid, and always felt that she was abnormal.In high school, she was exposed to many things, and she gradually understood that homosexuality is not abnormal, but her sense of shame couldn't be erased. She also fell in love with a student in the class next door, and finally understood that this was true liking, and it was also the first time she tasted love, even though it was unrequited love.Sour and sweet, one can have fun singing a solo act.She plucked up the courage to confess to her schoolmate but unexpectedly she was despised and disgusted by the other party. The girl said that she was perverted and disgusting.She was hit hard, more ashamed, and disheartened.Later, when she got into college, the people and things she came into contact with were more fresh and broad. She liked a girl she met during military training. They had different majors, and the dormitory was separated by a wall. But she never dared to confess, fearing to get another "pervert" from the other party. She didn't even dare to make friends with her.Until, that girl made a girlfriend.Throughout her freshman year, she spent her time in a dark and gloomy mood, hating herself, disgusted with herself, and nearly wasting her studies. In her sophomore year, she slowly adjusted her mindset and decided to study hard first, get more exposure to new things and transform herself.Unfortunately, God did not give her a chance.The Spring Festival in her junior year was the nightmare of her life.At the age of twenty, she hadn't graduated yet, but she lost everything overnight. She suddenly had a heavy burden and a responsibility on her shoulders. She no longer had time to think about herself. From then on, her mind was full of making money.The song ended and the bedroom fell silent.Qi Yan said that everyone has the right to enjoy happiness.Lu Zhiqiao turned off the looping music, neatly opened the box of finger gloves, and took one....Before the Qingming Festival*, the temperature plummeted.*aka Tomb Sweeping Day, held on the 15th day after the Spring Equinox April 4 or 5 that lasts for three days. It is a holiday devoted to remembering and honoring the deceased, people sweep and decorate gravesites, burn incense. and paper money, and make food offerings.The sky is gloomy and dark, with a slight drizzle, cold wind blowing the roadside leaves rustling, chilling straight to people's bones.Lu Zhiqiao drove alone to the suburban cemetery to pay her respects. In the cemetery, the pines and cypresses stood upright, solemn and bleak. Although it was raining, there were many people who came to visit the cemetery.She bought a total of four bouquets of flowers and placed them in front of four tombstones. Due to overtime work and business trips, she had no time to take care of them carefully, so she only put flowers and said a few words that are almost the same every year, then left in a hurry.She has been so busy recently that she doesn't know the difference between day and night. She flew to four cities in a week, and was in a hurry to eat and sleep. She originally thought that she would not visit her family during Qingming this year, but in the end, her heart couldn't get over the hurdles.Fatigue, stress, continuous high-intensity work, and a sudden drop in temperature, Lu Zhiqiao fell ill the day after returning from the cemetery.At first it was a sore throat, stuffy nose and sneezing, but after a short sleep, she almost couldn't get up once she lay down.While her daughter was practicing the piano in the room, Lu Zhiqiao walked to the living room by leaning on the wall, took out the thermometer from the medicine box, and stuffed it under her arm.With her eyelids half closed, she poured herself a glass of water with difficulty, drank half of it, and leaned on the sofa to pant. She knows in her heart that she must have caught a cold and had a fever, but there is an important meeting in the afternoon, and she must be there. No matter what, she must find a way to get better before three o'clock...After a while, Lu Zhiqiao took out the thermometer and looked at it, it was thirty-nine degrees.Really.She put it aside casually, stood up and walked back to her room, put on her clothes, took her bag and mobile phone, came out and knocked on the door of her daughter's room, and said in a steady voice, "Baby, mom, will go out for a while, I'll come back at noon.""Okay." Lu Wei's voice came from inside, then the broken piano sounded again.Lu Zhiqiao went to the door to put on her shoes, saw the car keys on the porch, but didn't take them, she couldn't drive like this, instead, she thought it would be faster to take a taxi, so she hurried out with her drowsy body..There were a lot of outpatients in the hospital, many had colds and fevers, and the infusion room was almost full.Lu Zhiqiao leaned back on the chair with her eyes closed, the needle taped in her left hand was connected to a long infusion tube, and two bottles of medicine, large and small, hung above her head.She was dizzy and uncomfortable, her throat was dry and sore, and she wanted to sleep very much, but her whole body was cold, and her hands and feet were cold.Her phone vibrated non-stop, and they were all work calls, they hung up one after another.She doesn't know how many times it vibrated.She was too lazy to open her eyes, and with a slip of her fingertips, she raised the phone to her cheek and gave a hoarse voice."Qiao Qiao?" Qi Yan's voice came from the other end, "What's wrong with your voice? Have you caught a cold?"Lu Zhiqiao paused for a moment, raised her eyelids in a jerk, coughed uncontrollably as soon as she opened her mouth, and said intermittently: "Ahem...a little...cough...""Niu Niu said you went out, where are you?" Qi Yan's voice suddenly became louder."Cough...hospital...cough cough...""Wait for me!"
